Are You A Social Chameleon? (Read This To Find Out!)

November 28, 2012 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a social skill with a number of key dimensions that can be used to assess any person in a bid to gauge his or her proficiency or competence with respect to that ability. No one is "born" with a fixed EI. You can develop your EI by learning.

NB: To truly understand the concept of Emotional Intelligence (of which being a "Social Chameleon" is a dimension), I urge you to read the book by Daniel Goleman titled "Emotional Intelligence".

(Originally published online on 4th October 2010)

One important dimension of EI is "Interpersonal Effectiveness" i.e. the ability to get along with others – including people you do not like".

Now, this is why EI is a skill that has to be learned. Not everyone can manage to see this through (i.e. getting along with others) successfully. Yet, learning how to do so, could determine how successful one will be in life – especially if one chooses to function in a social environment that places high premium on that dimension of EI.

Getting along with others requires one to make positive/good impressions on people they interact with. It requires being able to quickly determine what those they relate with "like" or are "interested" in, so as to skillfully/subtly align themselves in a way that makes such persons "think or feel" you share similar likes or interests.

Those who are able to master this skill of "Effective Impressions Management", quite often achieve their goal of having successful relationships with many different kinds of people, in different social environments. And in many cases, this ability helps them succeed in professions/vocations such as – acting, trial law, sales, diplomacy, and politics – where one may find him/herself having to relate with person(s) s/he dislikes.

They consequently become "Social Chameleons" – persons able to change or adapt themselves more or less at will to suit the social environment they find themselves in.

It’s Good To Be A Social Chameleon But BAD To Be A "Dishonest" One!

"Another, perhaps more crucial kind of
self-monitoring seems to make the difference between
those who end up as anchorless social chameleons, trying to
impress everyone, and those who can use their social polish
more in keeping with their true feelings. – Daniel Goleman.

We have instances when someone with this ability to become a Social Chameleon takes it to the negative extreme, where s/he begins to apply it without "integrity". In other words, she does it without being true to his/her inner values. I mean, when s/he becomes DUPLICITOUS – deliberately showing one face to the world, while hiding his/her true self on the inside, with a view to DECEIVING and MANIPULATING others for ulterior benefits.

At this point s/he would have become an ANCHORLESS Social Chameleon!

In case you still have not gotten it, the ANCHORLESS Social Chameleon is the person who uses his/her interpersonal skill/"social polish" in a DISHONEST way, so as to exploit those s/he relates with. Another word for it, as earlier mentioned is DUPLICITY – the quality of being TWO-FACED (Not Idibia the Nigerian music star O!), or "speaking from both sides of the mouth".

You NEVER know what people like this really believe or stand for – especially on ethical or moral issues.

In society, they are the people who jump from one political party platform to another at the slightest hint that better fortunes can be had from doing so. Today, they are speaking in support of one cause, and tomorrow against it. It’s often about them and how what they do ultimately benefits them. They use their skills to assess which of two or more opposing groups has the greatest chance of winning, and skillfully play themselves up to where they’ll benefit the most.

When people like this exist in large numbers in any society, quite often REAL development, or positive changes that can benefit the larger majority, take longer to happen. This is because in such places, selflessness tends to be a quality that is abhorred. The few who are willing to act selflessly in that manner will frequently find themselves getting used by such anchorless social chameleons, to get ahead – leading to the former’s frustration!

Any social group or organisation that wishes to develop and progress (be it a company, family, association, or nation) needs to ensure that its members are "coached" as early as possible in life to (as Daniel Goleman put it) "use their social polish more in keeping with their true feelings…" so that they can act in accordance with their "deepest feelings and values no matter what the social consequences".

Summary

Everyone has the ability to LEARN or DEVELOP his/her EI. So long as a child is given early coaching towards identifying and developing the various dimensions of EI, she will over time grow into a socially competent adult – one able to engage in reasonably balanced – and successful – interactions with others.

What I have however found important to focus on, with respect to this important "meta" ability, is that having EI should not be used by ANYONE as an excuse to be "insincere or duplicitous", in order to be "popular".

In a couple of instances, I have had certain individuals express the opinion that another person was not acting with EI, because that person refused to compromise on certain fronts with them. Or maybe s/he was unwilling to grant them certain concessions they requested. Does that really mean a person is NOT Emotionally Intelligent? Are we to believe that Emotionally Intelligent people are those who do NOT say NO to other people’s requests?

My answer, which I know is the right answer to the above questions is NO. Being Emotionally Intelligent does NOT mean you will no longer be able to say NO to people who ask you to do something you do NOT want to do – especially if you are CONVINCED you have a good reason not to.

Indeed, I would say that the onus falls on the other person to ASK you why you are saying NO – especially if you had not done so in the past. Assuming that you, as the person asking a favour, are the only one with valid needs that require priority attention is a MASSIVE lapse of Emotional Intelligence. Why is this so? Get Goleman’s book, and read it to find out.

Final Words

So, now that you’ve read this, let’s go back to my question-format title : Are You a Social Chameleon?

If your answer is YES, I congratulate you on having that level of self-mastery that is sure to open doors for you, in your relationships with others.

HOWEVER – and this is important – it is crucial that you stay alert to the need to avoid crossing over to the extreme negative end of this ability scale, where you begin to function without EMOTIONAL INTEGRITY. Fail to do this, and you will become the ANCHORLESS Social Chameleon described above – which could cause you major embarrassment if another person – possibly a "Social Chameleon" with integrity – decides to take you up!

Visit the links below for more on Emotional Intelligence and "Social Chameleons":

1. http://opajdara.wordpress.com/2008/10/07/social-chameleon-may-pay-emotional-price/

2. http://blog.gaiam.com/quotes/authors/daniel-goleman/57843

Entrepreneurship, Farm Biz

Join My Farm Biz Ideas Club & Get Answers To Your Questions, PLUS Massive Discounts To My Products & Services!

November 27, 2012 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

Starting from next week, I will commence publishing ONE new post on Cost-Saving Farm Business Ideas, in direct response to each one of over 200 questions sent to me by visitors to my Farm Business Ideas website.

The First Question to Be Treated

To give you an idea of what to expect, here’s the first question I will be posting a detailed (researched) response to next week Tuesday (i.e. 4th December 2012).

Zainuddin zai_abi (who indicated he discovered my write-up on Facebook) wrote in from “Hyderabad a.p India” on the subject of “Cost for egg productions”. Here’s his exact message(Edited for clarity):

====Starts====
"I have gone through your article Practical Poultry Farm Business Performance Calculations. I want to know how to calculate cost of egg production like cost per hen, cost per carton, cost of feed in details can you help me. kindly reply me."
====Ends====

I’ll be publishing a detailed post in response to the above enquiry on this blog next week.

This Content Will Be Restricted To Members-Only

Note however that access will be limited to past buyers of ANY of my products or services. Such persons will be automatically assigned personal usernames and passwords to view this premium content that will be published.

Past Buyers: To get your membership account activated, you MUST contact me (click the preceding link) stating your interest in joining my new Farm Business Ideas members club.

Other Persons: If you’d like to be able to access that “members-only” premium content post, and subsequent ones. Or if you’d like to be able to send in your question and get answers, send your message to me using this contact form (click the preceding link) for details of what you need to do.

Once you become a member, I’ll research and publish a detailed post on this blog, answering your submitted question.

Coming Soon: Educational Commercials on ALL My Farm Business Support Products & Services

In the course of the past eleven months I have learned quite a lot MORE about catering to the needs and interests of farm business prospects. This has been through the many web contact form enquiries, direct emails and phone calls I have received.

I have found the web form enquiries especially useful in narrowing down to the specific areas majority of my farm business ideas articles readers are interested in

Quite recently I received yet another web form enquiry from a prospective buyer of my Ration Formulator spreadsheet app. The gentleman who I will call “Y”, runs a farm business in Kano state. After I sent him purchase details, he wrote back saying:

===Starts===
“Please I need a trial of (the) feed formulation excel before I send the money. Thanks”
===Ends===

Like I told “Y” when we later spoke on phone, he was the very first buyer to ever request a trial version of the app.

I went on to explain to him that compared to the really sophisticated Excel applications I have built for clients, the Ration Formulator is very elementary – so that giving him a trial version would effectively amount to giving him the fully functional app.

The alternative would have been to offer him a compiled EXE version setup as a trial. However, I am still reluctant to introduce that “breed” of my applications in the local market. And then again, the pricing for those ones is much higher – and not likely to appeal to my naturally price-conscious fellow countrymen.

In subsequent phone discussions I was able to gather that “Y” was concerned that he might need to know how to use MS Excel in order to use my Excel-VB driven Ration Formulator.

And that was when it hit me. The reason he was reluctant to take the buying decision was a fear that the app had a steep learning curve.

I assured him that the whole essence of using Visual Basic for Applications (VBA) in conjunction with an intuitive Graphic User Interface (click preceding link to watch Youtube video) to eliminate the need for a user to interact directly with MS Excel.

A floating modeless data entry form is all the user needs to work on, and clicking a few buttons instantly generates a livestock ration formula.

With that clarification, “Y” asked me to send him the account details so he could make payment.

For me, that was a valuable bit of insight gained.

After that conversation with “Y”, I did some thinking and came to the conclusion that I need to stop assuming every visitor to my website will readily find answers to all the questions they may have about the solutions I offer.

That’s why in addition to publishing answers to questions you send in on Cost-Saving Farm Business Ideas, I will henceforth periodically publish “Educational Commercials” about every one of my products and services targeted at Farm Businesses.

The first will be on the “Ration Formulator”. And it will be out the same day I publish the Question and Answer post.

I built this application to help people reliably formulate balanced rations by freely using ingredients of their choice.

That’s why I am always open to exploring ways to working with buyers to make use of it to achieve their goal of successfully formulating rations to meet various needs.

And it’s been exciting to see how people from different places within and outside the country have embraced it – with great feedback too. I’ll be publishing some next week!

Final Words

So, let me summarize. I’ll be launching the earlier mentioned special members only section on my website (accessible via password only) where all of the new content mentioned in this post will be published.

All past buyers of the handbook and software get automatic ONE year of FREE membership.

In addition, all members get a permanent 40% discount to purchase any of my other products or services whenever they want during the life of their membership.

Towards this end I’m currently building a Farmers Database based on information submitted by over 250 farm owners who have contacted me from my website. They will all be notified by SMS and email from next week.

IMPORTANT NOTE: For past buyers, to get your membership account activated, you MUST contact me (click the preceding link) stating your interest in joining my new Farm Business Ideas members club. All other persons will need to contact me for details of how to get on board.

I look forward to welcoming you!

Public Speaking

Smart Entrepreneurs Make More Money By Speaking

November 26, 2012 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

In this week’s issue of my Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter, I focus on a key benefit of being (or becoming) a speaker that I have personally found most satisfying. And that’s the opportunity to earn multiple streams of (often passive) income.

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No. 65: Smart Entrepreneurs Make More Money By Speaking

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Publication: Tayo Solagbade’s Weekly Public Speaking IDEAS Page (PSIP) Newsletter
Date: Monday 26th November 2012
No: 65
Title: Smart Entrepreneurs Make More Money By Speaking
Author & Publisher: Tayo K. Solagbade [234-803-302-1263]
Blog URL: http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/blog
Archive (For E-mail only version started 14th May 2012): Click here to view
Archive (For Blog version started 24th September 2011): Click here

Hi,

Please find below the latest issue of my weekly Public Speaking Ideas page for 2012.

SD Nuggets Blog™	New posts from last week that may interest you!
Public Speaking [Monday]:	Enough Reading – It’s Time You Started Giving Talks!
Entrepreneurship [Tuesday]:	Dont Cheat Yourself By Buying Based On Price Alone From A Competent Entrepreneur!
Self Development [Wednesday]:	What Are You Like When Things Dont Go The Way You Want?
Career Development [Thursday]:	Read This Or One Day The MDs Presentation Could Flop Because Of You! (Part 1)
Parenting [Friday]:	You Dont Need Wealth To Succeed As A Parent (3 Key Attributes To Nurture In Your Child)
Writing/Blogging [Saturday]:	How to Write Even When You Dont Feel Like It (3 Experience Based Tips)
Want me to write for you? Click here…

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You hear performance strategies you can emulate. You shorten your learning curve. You see ways to engage and delight audiences with both content and stories . . . plus you experience a bit of fun.

With its Money back if not delighted Guarantee hardly any are returned.
Find out why

No. 65: Smart Entrepreneurs Make More Money By Speaking

More People Could Be Entrepreneurs

Entrepreneurship is about creating value in order to earn income. Bottom line, that’s what it’s all about.

Smart entrepreneurs routinely explore ways to earn repeat income through as many channels as possible, for work they only need to do once or a few times. Today’s technology makes it easier to operate in this manner – and you can do so without even needing to give up your day job (I explain below.)

The sad truth is however that many people who have the desire to be entrepreneurs are not in business. Most lock themselves up in blue-chip companies for the better part of their useful years. By the time they retire, they discover they have little left to offer anyone – including themselves!

If more of such people took action to become entrepreneurs, they would develop their potentials and become useful resources to their countries – and even the world.

Incidentally, today’s technology makes it possible to (almost) eat your cake and have it, as it relates to starting a business. By this I refer to the ways in which the Internet can be used by almost anyone to earn income by providing products/services from the comfort of her home on a part-time basis.

Nothing stops you from hanging on to your day job and running a business part-time until you retire. By then you would have gained valuable experience and also built a reasonable income base on which to expand your interests.

That would be better than having to start from ground zero AFTER you retire, resign or are “downsized”. Think about that.

More Entrepreneurs Could Be Paid Speakers

A paid speaker is a kind of entrepreneur. What I like about this group is that unlike most other entrepreneurs, they often need little or no startup capital. Just the ability and willingness to do is all that is required to get their “business” up and running.

These kinds of people are used to starting with nothing and making money using just their knowledge and ability to communicate. I personally consider it one of the most fulfilling vocations any human being could engage in(i.e. selling one’s knowledge)!

The best part is that it is open to virtually anyone.

Just like more people could be entrepreneurs, I believe more experts, professionals and business owners could become competent high earning “Experts-Who-Speak”, if they would only be willing to try.

I have worked very closely with business owners out here – both male and female. It is my considered opinion that many do not know how valuable their expert knowledge is.
This lack of insight into the marketability of their know-how limits them in terms of their ability to earn commensurate remuneration for the wealth of experience they’ve gained.

For those I found to be aware of the value they could add to others, I discovered that a fear of “failure” held them back from trying to start out as speakers. Even when I showed them how great their chances of success were, they still balked. What a shame.

By Speaking, Entrepreneurs Can Generate Multiple Streams Of Income!

When you address audiences as a speaker, you become a reference person or authority with respect to the subject you speak about. At some point, you may even get quoted by industry stakeholders, or the mass media.

The resultant credibility conferred on you by such unsolicited “mentions” can over time stimulate interest in your products and services. You’ll acquire a celebrity status in your niche market. And those who need what you offer will be drawn to you – with most being prepared to purchase more or less any other resources or solutions you offer.

Would it not be great to be able to effortlessly generate additional income on the side, separate from the revenue your main business brings you?

For instance, as a financial consultant, you most likely get paid to provide a variety of services to your clients.

Now, imagine being able to generate just as much (if not more) income as you currently earn, via a speaking service based on your area of expertise. Wouldn’t that make it easier for you to plan for that holiday you’ve been saving up for?

The best part of this is that once you begin giving talks and facilitating learning events based on your expertise, you are likely to get hired by NEW clients who become convinced you can help them from hearing you speak.

That’s one indirect benefit accruable from being a public speaker: You actually get paid to market yourself to large numbers of potential clients at once. Which means you’re likely to get even more clients for your core business through your part-time speaking efforts!

It of course goes without saying, that any smart speaker will build up a library of additional resources that people can buy during and after her events.

With respect to the above, here’s a well known fact: Back room sales at speaking events (and from a speaker’s website) have been known to sometimes exceed the speaker’s income. So this is a strategy worth keeping in mind.

I refer here to recordings of your live events on DVDs, special versions of your learning programs in print, downloadable versions of your talks in video and MP3 format. These would generate a complementary stream of passive income for you. Basically, you would do the work (of creating them) once, and subsequently earn repeat income from their sales for years afterwards!

Final Words

Public Speaking is one of the most cost-effective strategies known to man, for achieving high impact “mass marketing” – for business purposes.

The minute you get your name in front of audiences as a speaker (be it guest, invited etc), your marketplace credibility moves up a notch or two. If you run a company, it benefits because when your name is mentioned, the company is also likely to be mentioned too e.g. “The Guest Speaker, Mr. John Doe of XYZ Solutions Limited”.

Anything you – or your company – offer for sale in the market place automatically benefits from that enhanced marketplace perception. And that includes side products and learning resources you can (and should) produce to generate multiple streams of income.

Have you been undecided about whether or not to become a paid speaker? Or have you been trying to get your speaking career off the ground with little success?

Here’s a tip: Burt Dubin works with people who want to be speakers, and with speakers who want to be masters. Click here to visit his website NOW and submit a contact form message telling him what challenges you’re facing, and how you’d like him to help you. Tell him I sent you, and you’ll get a pleasant surprise offer from him.

Comments?

What do you think of the above message? Do you have any personal experience to share on this subject? Are there some other points you feel can be added, to help persons looking for answers? Please share your thoughts!

Share this issue!

Do you know anyone who might benefit from reading this newsletter issue? Why not hit the forward button now, and send it to him/her with a short recommendation. You can also use share it via your social media channels. Thanks in advance.

What fears or doubts are keeping you from (a) taking up Burt Dubin’s monthly speaker mentoring, or (b) buying his products?

You can choose to purchase Burt’s mentoring at any of the three (3) levels listed below:

1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Burt’s three mentoring packages can be likened to the seating options offered by airlines: Budget Delight (Economy); Mid Range (Business); and Top Shelf (First Class).

At least that’s how I like to think of them!

All three will get you to your desired destination of "speaking success-ville" – so long as you meet the requirements/play your part well (your fare, abide by the set guidelines etc). During the "flight", the seat you have will determine how much personal service attention and preference the provider will accord you. It’s that simple

So, make your choice:1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Send me an e-mail with your questions via tayo at tksola dot com. In the meantime, why not get started by subscribing here to get his 7-Part Course (How To Succeed And Get Paid As A Professional Speaker) . . . and receive his monthly newsletter (Speaking Biz Strategies Letter) at no cost.

Have a lovely week!

Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist

*Sole Agent For Burt Dubin’s Speaker Mentoring Service In Africa

Mobile: 234-803-302-1263

http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com
Tayo Solagbade is a Performance Improvement Specialist & multipreneur. He works with individuals/businesses who want to achieve highly profitable outcomes, and also with parents who want to raise real-world competent children.

Tayo earns multiple streams of income providing clients with performance improvement training/coaching, custom MS Excel-VB solutions, web marketing systems, freelance writing services, and best practice extension support services (for farm business owners).

When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Self-Development Nuggets™ blog, and Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter (which he publishes to promote Burt Dubin’s Public Speaking Mentoring service to experts working across the African continent).
==================

For over 25 years, Burt Dubin has provided a variety of speaker mentoring products and services to clients worldwide.

Download this flyer as PDF: http://tinyurl.com/bdubin-africa

Writing/Blogging

How to Write Even When You Don’t Feel Like It (3 Experience Based Tips)

November 24, 2012 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

It’s not always that one feels like writing. This is a painful fact known to many writers. Indeed, for many of us it can sometimes take major effort to get into the mood to write.

In this post I offer ideas based on my personal experiences and achievements, that you can reliably employ to get your writing juices flowing almost at will.

It should interest you to know that I just chose this title at 6.57a.m – today Saturday 24th November, 2012 – and I’m NOW writing on it, because I woke up NOT feeling like writing anything!

WARNING: To put the ideas in this piece to successful use, you must be prepared to apply yourself. The transformation is unlikely to take place overnight – especially if you are just starting, or you’ve not been writing with any degree of regularity for some time.

This is not some magic formula that will open you brain up and make it automatically channel a coherent stream of words through your fingers into the keyboard

YOU have to drive the entire process, and keep at it until you achieve needed mastery.

1. Choose the Right Topic for YOU

Writing is a task that engages the intellect, requiring you to think…a lot. But thinking is an activity that can be “hard” for many people.

Writers who apply themselves diligently to their trade will however discover that their ability to think and write will improve over time. I say this from personal observation and experience. So that should provide adequate incentive to stick with this formula

The challenge is however deciding what to focus on thinking and writing about. In other words, choosing the right topics or titles is an important step to take. Go for subjects that interest you, and which you know enough about – or can research competently.

Many experts advocate that writers choose to specialize in specific fields. That ensures they can focus on getting writing projects they are most equipped or pr
epared to tackle.

In my case, as a multi-disciplinary writer, I have an interrelated range of fields that I focus on – and which this blog’s publishing schedule is built around. My interest in these fields is however based on the fact that I have gained (and continue to acquire) valuable real world relevant experience in each of those fields or categories.
It’s certainly not that I’m spreading my net in the hope of appealing to as many readers as possible!

That’s why you’ll notice I often have many true stories and anecdotal accounts to share in most of my writing.

Not everyone will like my multi-subject approach. But it works for me. And contrary to potential speculation, I have been writing on these same categories since 2006 (as my over 170 published articles on Ezinarticles.com prove).

So you see, this approach works for me. YOU will need to find what works for you.

Once you do, it will become easier to churn out the content you need. Take it from me: your work will be cut in half once you have this locked down.

Like I explained in my newly released e-book titled "WHY YOU KEEP FAILING TO ACHIEVE YOUR WRITING GOALS!", you will find it much easier to write when your chosen topic or subject is one that naturally interests or appeals to you.

Read this: Do You Struggle To Get Your Writing Done? Finding Your Magnificent Obsession Can Save You!

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2. Think like a Journalist Needing To Meet a Deadline

I do this a lot. I’m not sure if I’m correct, but I imagine that when a journalist wants to write a piece, she typically does some reading up (i.e. research), and may sometimes contact competent experts she’ll interview based on an outline of questions.

By the time she’s done, there will usually be enough material to mould into a useful news report or editorial that can be published. She will then focus on getting the writing done.

For the purpose of finishing a writing task or project you’re struggling with, think of yourself as a journalist with a looming deadline you cannot afford to miss – and write with a resolve to achieve that goal.

Start by thinking up an outline of points (they could even be in question form). This will help you avoid straying when you begin writing, and you’ll get to the finish line faster.

The above implies you will actually set a specific date or time you want to have your write-up finished and ready to go out (as a blog post, a client’s completed request etc).

What happens when you do the above is that you will create a sense of urgency about completing the task. It’s easy to trick the brain into doing this, if you are willing to try.

Do it long enough and you’ll suddenly discover you’ve acquired an uncanny ability to generate ideas for writing, even when you start out feeling you are not ready!

3. Turn out Acceptable Writing by Focussing On Valued Outcome(s)

It’s tough enough already that you’re trying to write when you don’t feel like it. That state of mind can make you produce (what should be) uncharacteristic errors.

I refer here to the need to (a). eliminate typos and other errors that can sometimes plague a writer. (b). ensure your content is perceived as a useful (and possibly enjoyable) read. All of that makes up the “quality” of your finished work.

Be tough with yourself in setting standards your work has to meet, to merit publication.

This is an area I’ve found myself falling short very recently. That’s been especially due to a strange confluence of unfavourable happenings relating to connectivity and other issues.

But there’s no acceptable excuse for turning out work that fails to meet acceptable standards! No client wants to listen to lame excuses from her PAID writing professional. She wants results!!

Thankfully, I know what is needed to correct the unhealthy trend. In this regard, apart from obvious “proof reading, grammer checks etc, there’s one strategy I’ve found quite effective in producing reasonably well “polished” writing – on a regular basis.

Interestingly, this “solution” is not a writing technique. It is instead a mental attitude.

Basically, you link what you’re writing to the thought of achieving a valued outcome. For instance, if you’re looking to get hired by better paying clients, this should drive you to post well written content that can impress that kind of client.

Makes sense does it not?

Remember: It’s not just about typos, punctuation and grammar. The usefulness of what you write, to the reader, is of utmost importance in making the desired impact.

Final Words

The above rules guide me as I prepare content to add to this blog, and my other websites.

The truth is however that sometimes we fall below our own standards every now and then. But if those instances are kept few and far between, prospective clients will likely accept such slip ups as proof that we are human – and not that we are incompetent!

The “linking to a valued outcome” thinking strategy always helps me keep my work quality up IF I do not “forget” to use it e.g. I tend to be extra diligent when what I’m writing has something to do directlywith another person e.g. a client, or partner.

For instance my Weekly Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter (which appears as a post in the public speaking category on this blog), is published to PROMOTE Burt Dubin’s speaker mentoring products and services to experts working in Africa.

Whenever I’m writing a piece for that publication, all my editorial senses are often at their keenest. This is probably because I unconsciously feel a need to make the best possible impact to get the reader one step closer to considering Burt’s offerings.

This strategy can help any writer who chooses to make conscious use of it. The benefits to be had are obvious, yet some still write as if they are unaware of it – or do not care.

I recommend that you find a way to link the quality of what you write to achievement of an important goal you have your mind set on. This will make you more concerned about doing it well, because you would want to increase your chances of success.

It’s now 9.44a.m and I’ve just finished proof reading and editing this write-up of 1,500 words, even though about 2 and a half hours earlier I did not feel like writing anything.

This method has once again worked for me. Do you think it can work for you?

Parenting

You Don’t Need Wealth To Succeed As A Parent (3 Key Attributes To Nurture In Your Child)

November 23, 2012 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

“Edison was a poor student. When a schoolmaster called Edison "addled," his furious mother took him out of the school and proceeded to teach him at home. Edison said many years later, "My mother was the making of me. She was so true, so sure of me, and I felt I had some one to live for, some one I must not disappoint." – Excerpt from “The Life of Thomas Edison” (Online Biography)

Money Cannot Make Up For Absence of Parental Nurturing & Guidance

In today’s world, there’s a problem that’s increasing at an alarming rate.

The pressures of earning enough to care financially for the family are growing. This is forcing more parents to relegate their traditional coaching and mentoring roles to the background, in order to provide financially for the family.

As a result, they now depend on care givers and school teachers to provide needed “instruction” to their kids, while they are away at work. These kinds of parents frequently assume they can make up for their absence using money and things money can buy.

It goes without saying that money is needed to care for one’s kids. So, the parents are not wrong for going all out to get it.

What I however try to point out in this piece is the need – and an urgent one at that – for such parents to strike a balance in doing so. Without that, there’s a real chance that their kids will suffer negative consequences of parenting neglect that could limit them for life.

Help Your Child Develop These 3 Attributes & Boost Your Chances of Achieving Parental Success

1. Real World Relevant Know-How

Just today, I had a long discussion with my sister-in-law about parenting and the need to get more involved in coaching kids for success in life.

The emphasis on school learning to the neglect of life skills acquisition is making too many children enter adulthood poorly prepared to play their new adult roles.

What’s worse is that some misguided parents assume that they can throw money at the problem of ineptitude their child displays. So they literally open doors for her to get things she should normally compete for along with her peers e.g. job postings.

It’s always – for me at least – sad to see a young person who knows only “academics” and little or nothing about other socially relevant skills needed by adults for survival e.g. poor ability to assert herself, naivety or being too trusting etc.

These weaknesses can be exploited by more socially savvy counterparts to gain an unfair advantage over her in the real world.

In this regard, I’m saying that it’s a nice thing for your child to view the world through rose coloured glasses. However, it is wiser for her to recognize that not everyone in the world will view the world the way she does!

And that’s why she’ll need to develop the social skills to relate successfully with those who differ in their world views.

How do you help your child develop such know-how? I offer a few suggestions:

Discuss what YOU do and know with her.

Involve her in those activities you know enable you hold your own in the real world.

Think ahead and also reflect on what you had to learn and/or do better in order to function more competently as an adult in the real world OUTSIDE, and after school.

Once you’ve identified those specific things, make out time to coach your child to become competent in those areas.

By the way, do NOT succumb to the temptation of letting her grow up a little more before you start this. The earlier you begin the better for her – and for you.

I say this because kids – if you know them – don’t exactly assimilate what you tell or teach them immediately. There’s always a need for plenty of repetition. If you start early, you stand a better chance or instilling those qualities in her much earlier in life.

2. Positive Outlook & Mental Stamina

Your child will learn how to react to life from observing you, and those you associate with e.g. your friends, co-workers, business associates, relatives etc.

If she sees that you regularly complain about everything that’s not going the way you want, she’s likely to conclude that’s the right way to respond to life’s challenges for instance.

But here’s the problem with that kind of attitude: If that situation persists longer than she feels she can endure, there’s a good chance she might settle on an unhealthy approach to solving whatever problem she feels she has e.g. through joining bad company, or even stealing etc

Having a positive take on life implies you will always believe that no matter what misfortune befalls you, there will be a way to remedy it, if you look hard enough.

The above implies the need for mental stamina: That is, the ability to keep believing that what you want will happen, even as everything around you suggests otherwise. This – mental stamina – is an extremely important quality for any human being to have, as it can determine her ability to achieve any goal she sets in life.

When a problem or challenge occur in your life as a parent, try to bring it to the attention of your child. Explain to her what led to it, and how you’re trying to resolve it. As time goes on, let her know how you’re getting on with your efforts.

Encourage her to ask questions and even make suggestions towards solving the problem. Make it obvious you value her interest and input.

What will most likely happen over time is that she will believe that’s the right way to deal with adversity in life. Your example will therefore be a valuable source of inspiration to her whenever she faces challenges in life.

The likely result: most likely, she’ll go on to succeed in spite of any challenges she encounters, because you would have taught her to maintain a positive outlook/mental attitude even in adversity.

3. Visualisation

You will help your child find purpose in life, if you really wish to be a successful parent. Study her and identify what she’s passionate about.

Deveop strategies to help her develop that passion to a level where it can produce useful rewards – financially or otherwise – to her. Engage her in discussion about what she would like to do with that item, ability or activity she’s passionate about.

This process can lead you to successfully link her passion to a potentially useful outlet in the real world. We’ve read and heard of many parents who saw signs that their kids had natural abilities in certain areas, and who took action to help the child develop them, so that she eventually became a prodigy.

What is essential here is helping the child discover what she wants to do and/or where she wants to do it. With that “picture” clearly defined in her mind, she will become purpose driven – and every moment of her spare time will be readily devoted to pursuing that goal.

Final Words: None of the Listed Attributes Requires A Parent To Be Wealthy!

If you noticed, the attributes mentioned above can be developed by a poor person’s child just as well as a rich person’s child can acquire them. What is simply required is the INTEREST. And that can be aroused in any living being.

The foregoing implies that succeeding as a parent is not about how much money you have. Instead it’s about how much of an investment of your time, effort and knowledge you are prepared to make in your child, to prepare her for the real world.

If you’re wondering how I can be so sure the above will produce the results promised in the title of this post, I’ll tell you this:

For more than twenty (20) years I have employed the above strategies to SUCCESSFULLY coach young people ranging in age from about 15 to 25, to discover their purpose and go on to begin achieving it (it’s a continuous/never ending process).

We all have our gifts. Mine is being able to help others improve themselves to achieve their valued goals in life. To illustrate, here’s what one of those I’ve coached in the past wrote to me after we’d parted for two and a half years

====Start of email excerpt===

Date: Mon, 7 Jun 2004 05:08:15 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Emmanuel" To: “tayo” (Email addresses deleted for privacy)
Subject: update

Great Mentor,

You are really a great mentor. Your principles are real and they work. Since the beginning of this
year a lot of things have happened. Top among them is the writing of assessment tests for our
new line–Line 7. Out of 256 candidates, 75 were selected and out of the 75, 8 technicians were
selected to go abroad for training of which I was among. We’ve been to Germany, stayed for
3weeks and now we are back. Each step I’ve taken ever since you left has been with at least
one word from you. It is as if you knew before time the steps and so you left at least a word for each.

…text deleted for brevity and privacy…

====End of email excerpt===

I’ll end by saying that I did not write this post to preach at you.

Instead, my simple purpose is to share my tested and proven methods and insights with interested parents, so they can achieve similar successes to mine.

I employed the ideas described in this post to help other people’s kids succeed during the period I had contact with them. And I am ALREADY putting them to use with great enthusiasm for my own kids too – for obvious reasons!

Hopefully, you will choose to do the same for yours.

Comments?

What do you think of the above post? Share your thoughts in the comments – or send me an email via tayo at tksola dot com.

Share this story!

Do you know anyone who might benefit from reading this post? Why not share it using the social media buttons provided on this page? Thanks in advance

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Career Development

Read This Or One Day The MD’s Presentation Could Flop Because Of You! (Part 1 of 2)

November 22, 2012 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

This is part 1 of a 2 part article. Click here to read part 2.

If you are the MD/CEO of your company (or a Senior Executive that never has to do chores like this at work), this article may not directly apply to you but it could benefit you if you passed it on to your Personal Assistant, Secretary or anyone responsible for setting up your presentations anytime you have to deliver them. If you are not an MD/CEO, but you sometimes have to setup presentations for such persons, you are likely to find the lessons from this story quite instructive.

(First published in April 2006 on a static html page on www.spontaneousdevelopment.com. Based on excerpts from Tayo Solagbade’s E-book: Twenty-Five(25) Articles/True Stories On Self-Development And Entrepeneuring To Help You Succeed FASTER!)

1. Musa’s gets an email Monday morning from Sarah – MD’s Personal Assistant. It’s about the much expected presentation on a new company strategy which the MD is scheduled to deliver next Monday. Sarah’s email ends with "I am confident you will ensure this very important presentation goes without a hitch. Thanks in advance".

2. Musa Dele Anicho is Training Manager in the eastern branch of a large corporate multinational. Apart from providing needs-based training for the site staff/managers, his job involves coordinating briefings/presentations etc that have a way of occurring at short notice – with the key actor often being a top man, for example in this case, Mr. Samuel Okocha, the Managing Director.

3. Musa grimaces as he reads the last line of Sarah’s email but seeing in it a tacit "warning" immediately sets out to make all necessary arrangements. It is the first time since becoming Training Manager that he would be personally responsible for preparations towards the MD’s presentation. By the end of the week his boss had contacted him more than 10 times about preparations and each time Musa had told him all was set. Indeed, "as far as he could see" everything was set.

a. He had copied the PowerPoint Presentation to the Toshiba Satellite laptop supplied by the IT department and test run it over and over again – with speakers/projector.

b. He had double-checked the lighting in the Training room to be used and ensured the seating arrangement would not prevent people seeing the projector screen.

c. Refreshments had been booked and all other routine arrangements made. All was set!

BUT why then – after all this work by Musa, did the following unfortunate event have to occur? And how did Musa via quick thinking eventually save the day – and himself?

4. It’s 10.00 am Monday morning and Mr. Okocha(the MD) is on the 3rd slide of his presentation with all staff and Managers in the eastern branch listening with rapt attention to the high profile presentation with serious expressions on their faces.

5. The MD just finished giving an overview of the new strategy and then says "Let me now move to the most important part of my presentation which is: The breakdown of our new Corporate Strategy including the Action Plan for its implementation".

6. He clicks on the mouse but nothing happens(Musa’s heart misses a beat). The MD clicks again, this time twice, thrice..yet still nothing happens – A frown now appears on his forehead(Musa on his part is already beginning to sweat even though the room is fully airconditioned).

7. The MD grunts a bit inaudibly saying "Sorry I think there’s a problem" and looks around as if asking for some help. Musa’s boss, Mr. Lateef scowls deeply at Musa and motions with his eyes for him to do something!

8. Musa gets up, his mind racing, and walks with shaky legs towards the MD, who with characteristic calmness at this point casually carries on with his presentation using the printed paper version he had brought with him as a reference
(Lesson: Anytime you have to give a PC presentation, endeavour to carry a printed copy (printed version) with you as a backup. Technology is reliable but not error-free: Anything can happen, so be prepared ! )

9. Musa realises he must find a very quick solution that will enable the MD deliver this important information to the large audience in a way that ensures they all get a sound understanding of the subject. He forces himself to calm down and think (even as one teasing voice tells him "There goes your career down the drain -all
that hard work from all those years gone!").

The second and concluding part of this story explains how Musa was able – within a space of 3 minutes – to resolve the problem and get the MD’s presentation back on its PowerPoint based tract, to record a "happy ending". There are many practical lessons to be learned from this narrative of a true-life occurrence.

Self-Development

What Are You Like When Things Don’t Go The Way You Want?

November 21, 2012 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

Last week I had what I believe many people would consider a potentially traumatizing series of experiences. Like I told a mentor of mine, I could write a small book about all the things that tried sooo hard to go wrong…but which I stretched myself to (successfully) "save"…honestly!

What Are You Like When Things Go Wrong For You?

For instance, when your carefully made plans all seem to fall apart and everything appears to be working against you. This is something that will happen more than once to most people at various points in their lives.

The big question is how will YOU react when it happens to you? The answer you give when there is no crisis around to test you, may – or may not – reflect what your actual reaction will be when such a situation does occur.

And that’s why I’ll ask you to give that question plenty of thought – reflect deeply on it –as you read this post.

A New Buyer’s Request Triggers a Crisis – For Me!

Let me now share a little bit of the crisis I went through last week with you. Note that my purpose for doing so is NOT to make myself look like some kind of super hero or Ninja warrior.

Instead, my objective for doing this is to demonstrate that iron will and determination backed by relentless persistence and focus can defeat virtually any kind of adversity one may find him/herself in.

In other words, if you find yourself in a crisis, understand that you CAN emerge from it better off, if you do not cave in under the physical and/or psychological pressure it brings to bear on you.

I spent the latter part of last week right through the weekend, battling connectivity and smart phone issues (my Blackberry’s charging point broke!) that threatened to keep me from updating my blog…and more importantly from fulfilling an order for my Excel-VB Livestock Ration Formulator from a new client in Canada!

The gentleman had spoken with me on phone for over 15 minutes explaining that he had watched my video demonstration for the software (http://youtube.com/watch?v=5YWbqmh0MpA on my Youtube channel at http://youtube.com/user/TKSolagbadeSDAc), and that he was convinced it would be useful for feed formulation for animals on their network of farms.

Thursday night (11p.m Nigerian time), I sent him details of how to make payment.

Less than one hour after, he had replied my email saying he had made the $63 payment!

By The Next Morning When I Confirmed His Payment, I Had 2 Problems:

When we’d spoken on phone, I’d established that he knew I was based, in Nigeria. I liked the fact that (as I later told him), he acknowledged hearing a lot about scams, and was still convinced enough to want to proceed.

That made me doubly determined to ensure nothing stopped me from getting the spreadsheet app to him within 24 hours as promised.

But I soon discovered that I had a few serious problems to contend with:

1. My blackberry smart phone’s battery was too weak and could not be charged – due to the broken charging point. The guys who do delicate repairs of this kind were based at the PC village – 40 minute drive away. But that day being a Friday, traffic to that end was a bit prohibitive. This meant I could not use it as a modem to browse on my laptop.

2. To make things worse that morning, when I stepped out, I discovered THREE of my car’s four tyres knife-slashed, right where it was parked the night before. (Details of how this happened will be the subject of a different post. Suffice to say here that I felt like someone kicked me in between the legs when I made that discovery!).

That made it more difficult to go hunting for fuel with which to run the generator, so that I could prepare a personalized version of the app for the buyer!

At This Point I KNEW It Was Going To Be One of Those Heartbreakingly Tough Days

So, I zeroed my mind and walked into a neighbourhood cafe where I did my gallant best to endure the ordeal of punching the keyboard (which was caked with dust) to download a copy I’d made for an earlier buyer, and send as attachment to the client.

Thankfully, after a few time out error reports, the email eventually went through and the client confirmed downloading it successfully later at night.

Forty eight hours later, he wrote to say he was finding the use of the app “interesting” as he was getting results along the lines he’d expected.

Only then did it feel safe "touching" the money he sent…if you know what I mean

Today We’re Taking Our Relationship Further

This buyer told me he manages a network of self-sustaining agro based communities for an international organization with branches in many countries (but "not yet" in Nigeria).

He’s just given me the go ahead, to make references to examples he provided in his emails to me (and quote him where appropriate), in a new write-up I’m doing that’s been inspired by his description of how they operate their entreprises.

I consider their approach a viable model for our agro based societies in Africa. And I plan to use my write-up to build a case for communities or groups out here, to achieve more self sufficiency regardless of government ineptitude by adopting a similar method.

I’m sure you’ll agree with me that his above willingness may have been influenced by the fact that I fulfilled my promise of getting his ordered application to him as and when due.

If You Can Learn To Laugh At Yourself, You’ll Master Adversity!

I hope I’ve made you smile/laugh a bit with my "things fall apart" anecdote

The truth is that even while I was going through the above problems and trying to resolve them, I constantly poked fun at myself, to the surprise of those around me e.g the café operators.

In most cases I readily told them what had happened to me, and how I was trying to find a way to achieve my goal regardless of those negative occurrences. Then I would find ways to highlight anything that had happened, that I could tell a joke about.

Someone expressed concern that I seemed to have had an unhealthily ample visitation of bad happenings for one person.

Here’s what I told her:

“I’ve gone WAY beyond the stage when any such experience can bother me in any way. Infact, I use them a lot in the talks I give, and even in my daily interactions, as well as my write-ups to share insights about overcoming adversity to achieve my goals NO MATTER WHAT.

I feel bad that you see what happened to me the way you have. For me, such experiences only make me stronger. And I welcome them whenever they choose to "occur", because I know I’ll win and be better off at the end.

That’s why I can always reflect on them and laugh quite heartily like I did this evening while sharing with my sister-in-law, who’s visiting Lagos.”

Final Words

As I write this, not only have I succeeded in winning the trust and confidence of a new international client, but I have also resolved ALL the other problems that reared their heads during that period.

And no one can tell from looking at me that I went through such a rough patch recently.

But I know that I’m a stronger person NOW, than I was before I had those experiences.

To achieve goals you set for yourself, resolve to NEVER let yourself crack under the pressures imposed by adversity or hardships. They will always be temporary in nature.

Therefore when things are not going the way you want, “steel yourself” as Burt Dubin would say. And make sure you ride that storm with a smile on your face, even as you work hard to turn things around for the better. You’ll succeed faster – and better – by so doing.

Entrepreneurship

Don’t Cheat Yourself By Buying Based On Price Alone From A Competent Entrepreneur!

November 20, 2012 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing" – Oscar Wilde

One lesson I have learned the hard way is that not all clients value getting served with passion.

Let me explain why I say so.

While an employee in Guinness Benin city, Nigeria, I would work round the clock – even as a shift brewer – almost without regard for my personal health. One day, while working this way during my days as a trainee(Year = 1995), an expatriate manager had gotten so concerned that he told me, "Tayo, there’s a world outside Guinness you know!".

But I did not relent. I would close morning shift for instance, and stay back – till nightfall – working on a spare PC developing a variety of Lotus 1-2-3 applications aimed at helping automate certain tedious report preparation processes I had identified.

Over Time I Got Recognised – And Rewarded For It.

Soon, other departments began courting me for my skills. For instance, the Utilities Manager (Shola Adeniran) got me to automate his department’s Monthly Report using Lotus 1-2-3 macros(Year = 1997). Later on, I got promoted Training & Technical Development Manager(TTDM) and was nominated to attend a six week International Brewing Course organised by the Institute and Guild of Brewing, UK(Year = 2000).

About 3 months after resuming as TTDM, I was nominated to act as Production Manager. Again I did the same thing – stayed longer, worked hard etc. My appraisals got better each year.

It is instructive to note that I only spent 7 years in Guinness. But what I achieved during that time, some had not in 14 years of working in the company!

What’s The Point I’m Making?

You see, Guinness preached certain values to all employees. One of them was the importance of HAVING A PASSION FOR WHAT WE DID.

That resonated very strongly with me. I keyed into it, because I believed it was important to enjoy whatever one did.

And when I began to get "tired" of the routine of paid employment; when my creative instincts began to make me feel limited; I realised I needed to launch out on my own as an entrepreneur.

But I did NOT leave my passion behind. I put it into doing what I had done in Guinness, for my clients. A good example is spreadsheet solutions development, that I now do using MS Excel-VB development.

I made a point of always Going The Extra Mile in serving clients I won over, just like I had done in paid employment.

But I soon realised that in the real world, outside paid employment, certain people – no matter their level of exposure or education – tend to abuse service delivered with that kind of passion.

1. When you charge a fee to do a job for 4 hours, and stay on longer (without charging extra) in a bid to get it right, they conclude you’re either desperate or hungry. They will refuse to see any positive intent in it. Some could even suspect you have ulterior motives for working so hard for them!

2. Even when your superior work quality is why they hired you over the next person or company, some clients will try to get you to accept LESS payment than those they left to come to you. Give in once, and you’ll never be profitable again working for them. And you know what? It never bothers them.

A Short Story To illustrate

I was once present when a client hotel’s manager was discussing with his supervisor about purchasing new toilet rolls for the hotel.

Manager said: "These things are getting more expensive. Our current supplier says a batch is now N2,500."

Supervisor replies: "Yes, that’s true. I guess their costs of production are rising. No thanks to the power supply problem among other things in our economy".

Manager: "Do you remember that there was a guy who used to supply us at N1,500 some time ago? Where is he now?"

Supervisor: "He closed down a while ago."

As I listened, I could not help saying to myself : "Of course he would close shop. When you fail to sell profitably, you can NEVER stay in business. It was only a matter of time."

My Point: Such Clients Never Think Win-Win!

Some clients, in my experience, want what they want, but don’t care how it affects the service or product provider they get it from at unfair rates. I believe in win-win relationships. Everyone should benefit!

The above is why I have a rule of subtly disengaging any client that UNREPENTANTLY subjects me to recognisable abuse, in spite of my efforts.

I once had an abusive client who refused to pay an outstanding bill say to me "You know I can stop using your software don’t you?". That was meant to be a threat to make me give in and do his bidding, without insisting on my payment. But I called his bluff…and I’ll call the bluff of anyone who is mean enough to use threats or other forms of abuse to try getting my service.

My Business Is NOT An Ego Trip. And Yours Should Not Be

I have a vision to deliver value for every paying customer, beyond what s/he pays me. My reputation in this regard already bears me out. It is therefore reasonable that I expect to get treated with equal consideration by clients I shower affection. So should YOU!

I am beginning to find that online, my passion-driven service focus works better. And this has recently made me spend more time promoting my products and services for direct sale through this channel.

It’s great to speak with people you have never met, on phone (or via email) and have them express appreciation for how you responded to their orders, and requests in relation to your work.

I however still look forward to forging lasting relationships with offline clients who continue to act with win-win dispositions in their dealings with me.

If you want to get good service, and enjoy access to it for a long time, in a friendly win-win relationship with your provider, I encourage you to "Avoid Trying To Buy Based On Price Alone From A Competent Solution Provider!"

"I have found no greater satisfaction than achieving success through honest dealing and strict adherence to the view that, for you to gain, those you deal with should gain as well." – Alan Greenspan

Public Speaking

Enough Reading – It’s Time You Started Giving Talks!

November 19, 2012 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

“One thing is certain: the accepted way to learn to swim is to plunge into the water” – Dale Carnegie in his book titled ‘How To Develop Self-Confidence and Influence People By Public Speaking’.

Public speaking is a very practical endeavour. There is only so much you can learn by reading up on it. To really make progress you must at some point commit deliberate effort to put what you learn into practice.

SCROLL DOWN TO READ THE FULL ISSUE

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Publication: Tayo Solagbade’s Weekly Public Speaking IDEAS Page (PSIP) Newsletter

Date: Monday 19th November 2012

No: 64

Title: Enough Reading – It’s Time You Started Giving Talks!

Author & Publisher: Tayo K. Solagbade [234-803-302-1263]

Blog URL: http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/blog

Archive (For E-mail only version started 14th May 2012): Click here to view

Archive (For Blog version started 24th September 2011): Click here

Hi,

Please find below the latest issue of my weekly Public Speaking Ideas page for 2012.

SD Nuggets Blog™	New posts from last week that may interest you!
Public Speaking[Monday]:	Everyone Needs Coaching – Even YOU
Entrepreneurship [Tuesday]:	A New Generation of Entrepreneurs PROVES That Our Schools Need To Offer a Different Kind of Education!
Self Development [Wednesday]:	It’s Okay To Be Human: So Take Risks, Make Mistakes, and Feel The Joy of REAL LEARNING!
Career Development [Thursday]:	How To Make Yourself UNRETRENCHABLE
Parenting [Friday]:	Ten Practical Steps You Can Take To Help Your Child Discover His/Her Purpose In Life
Writing/Blogging [Saturday]:	How I Discovered And Used Print-On-Demand (POD) Publishing For The First Time
Want me to write for you? Click here…

PRESS RELEASE

New EBook for Writers Uncovers 10 Often Overlooked Habits Keeping Many from Achieving Their Writing Goals

Click here to learn more…

******************************

No. 64: Enough Reading – It’s Time You Started Giving Talks!

“

“One thing is certain: the accepted way to learn to swim is to plunge into the water” – Dale Carnegie in his book titled ‘How To Develop Self-Confidence and Influence People By Public Speaking‘.

In 2002, when I started out in business, the only real experience I had of speaking in public was from my participation in the Nigerian Institute of Management’s Young Manager’s competition at the zonal and national finals – where I placed 5th overall (after flopping badly).

Nothing I had done in Guinness Nigeria as a paid employee compared to the experience of standing before a hall filled with strange faces from different parts of the country, silently evaluating my every utterance.

Amongst them were Ph.D. degree holders as dignitaries and judges. Others were journalists from different media houses. The attention of everyone in the packed auditorium was focussed exclusively on each presenter for his/her 15 minutes in the spotlight.

The rush of adrenaline I had felt each time I stood before the audience as the competition progressed was what convinced me I wanted to be a speaker. The irony was that rather than look for a school where I could learn to speak effectively, I chose to purchase a copy of Dale Carnegie’s above mentioned book and devour it from cover to cover more times than I can now remember.

I’ve always been that kind of person – with a DIY and self-tutoring mentality.

In January 2002, I decided I would use public speaking to simultaneously earn income and also promote the products and services I offered to the different audiences I spoke to. As I’ve explained in past write ups, this approach not only got me invited to speak to audiences in places like the Centre for Management Development (CMD), it also enabled me win orders for my information products, as well as my natural aquariums.

What’s important to note is that I did the needed reading up, and then went out to put what I’d learnt to use in the real world. And that’s what I’m asking YOU to start doing from today!

Should You Be Afraid When Looking For Gigs?

Was I afraid when I first did it?

Not that I can remember – and I mean that honestly…not to brag.

You see, the truth is I needed to succeed so badly that I knew I could not afford to let myself become afraid of taking action to find PAID speaking opportunities.

That’s what Napoleon Hill said would happen to those who burn all their bridges, to cut off all sources of retreat. They effectively put themselves in a situation where going forward is the only logical thing to do.

You basically realise that fear is not an option. You either succeed or sink!

Looking back now, I realise I was probably a bit too ambitious, because I actually started out looking specifically for paid speaking opportunities.

And when I smelt one, I proved quite a hard nut to crack during negotiations. Mr. Akindele of CMD said that much by the time we managed to agree a revised amount for the honorarium he offered me based on what past speakers had been paid.

Should YOU be afraid as you go out to look for speaking gigs – whether paid or free?

It’s not bad to feel afraid, but my experience suggests that with proper preparation fear will become less of a concern for you by the time you decide to go hunting for gigs.

Suggestions About What You Can Do

1. Write And Publish Something Authoritative..And Use It To Get Invited

That’s what I did in my very first year as an entrepreneur to get paid speaking opportunities. Months before I left my job, I’d distributed questionnaires across Lagos and Benin, and analysed the completed ones to complete a management research paper titled “Self-Development As A Tool for Career Advancement (A Practical Guide Based On Experience) “.

When I launched out in January 2002, I sent copies of my new paper to key experts, and professionals in different organisations, with a cover letter stating that I would be glad to deliver a talk to share my insights based on the paper’s findings.

That effort eventually got me invited as a guest speaker at the CMD, where I spoke to over 100 staff, managers, and directors based on my newly published management research paper.

As I’ve noted elsewhere, this strategy also got me invited by (then Dr.) Pat Utomi to meet with him in his office at the Lagos Business School.

When you create something new, unique or different, and do it to a high quality standard, those who matter will take conscious notice of you. What’s more, what you offer will be appealing because people who matter usually like to be seen as thought leaders, and may wish to put it on record that they saw and acknowledged you first.

I have repeatedly used variants of that same strategy via low cost media like the Internet to create self-marketing opportunities for myself. Most recently, I’ve published a new ebook (titled “Why You Keep Failing To Achieve Your Writing Goals!“) which is already yielding beneficial exposure, leads and sales for me just 2 weeks after I published it in my online store.

NB: One of the students who heard me mention the above when I spoke to them at the University of Lagos auditorium asked me how I found the courage to contact “big people” like Pat Utomi.

I answered him by saying I basically reminded myself that “Pat” and all the other “big people” were made of flesh and blood just like the rest of us.

That, to me, implied they were not spirits to be feared, but high performing persons to be emulated.

And to emulate them, I needed to reach out to them and LEARN from them. Once I got that clear in my mind, finding the courage to contact them became easy. Try it, and you’ll see it works, I told him.

Now, I’ve told YOU as well!

2. Re-Package What You’ve Written In Other Forms, Then Use It To Offer Other Talks, And To Generate Back Room And Other Sales

In that same first year (2002), I was engaged by the Corona Schools Trust Council to speak at all six branches of their school over a two month period. This happened after I delivered a free talk to an audience comprising the Executive Director and other members of staff at the Trust Council.

What did I speak about?

It was simply a list version of lessons from my management paper which I’d titled “Ten Ways You Can Use Self-Development To Become A Flyer At Work“.

About a year later, two of the teachers who’d heard me speak at their branch had moved on to head their own schools. And both separately hired me to build my custom natural self-cleaning aquariums (which I’d mentioned during my talks as being useful teaching and learning aids) for their new schools.

By the end of that year, I’d converted that talk to an e-course which people subscribed to online. A year later, I’d made it into an MS Word based book manuscript – which I would eventually convert to PDF and publish as a print manual (called the Self-Development Bible) using Print On Demand Technology in my online store.

By 2004, I had written about 5 additional reports designed to interest decision makers in target organisations I had in mind. Then I went out and promoted them using a flyer, offering to speak FREE to teaching staff and administrators in schools. Adrao International School on Victoria Island invited me to deliver a talk based on my new report titled “How To Be A Jack Of Many Trades, And Why It Can Make You Succeed More Often“.

I used a lot of the ideas I’d learned from reading Burt Dubin’s articles, to find out what interests they had. Then I built what I learnt into the talk. By the time my one hour talk was over on the agreed day, the principal gave a vote of thanks and then led the others in placing advance orders for virtually all the reports and books that I had on display in the back room. 48 hours later, I delivered the reports, and got paid.

3. Talk About What You Do, Whenever You Sense Value To Be Had

I think someone called it having a nose for business or something. If you really apply yourself to what you do, you’ll actually get to a point where your senses become so finely tuned, that you can literally “feel” an opportunity when it becomes available.

I cannot explain it, but most authentic entrepreneurs will confirm that this does happen.

You develop a sixth sense that helps you identify useful selling opportunities, so you can make the most of them. I do this a lot, and interactions that would normally have ended on a friendly social note, sometimes evolve into a serious business transaction within 24 to 48 hours as a result.

Basically, what I do is indirectly talk about my products and/or services (including talks I offer), by narrating entertaining anecdotes to interest listeners. Once I get their interest, I then try to steer the conversation towards discovering whether or not I can offer a similar solution to those I speak to.

Interestingly, sometimes doing this may not yield any immediate results. Then one year later, you could get a call from one of those you told your little story. And she could invite you to give a paid talk at say, a one week training event she’s conducting for a corporate client of hers.

The above financially rewarding experience happened to me. And I could not help thinking if I had chosen to be “over-humble”, and not spoken up about my CMD outing to the consultant, he would never have thought I could be useful to him in that manner.

Final Words: Don’t Wait Any Longer – Get Started Giving FREE And/Or Paid Talks Today!

It’s important to avoid becoming a professional student.

There’s a time to learn and a time to put what you learn to work in the real world. Why not think up a 30 minute (or one hour) talk on a topic relevant to your niche or target market? Then offer it to target organizations fitting the profile you have in mind.

If no invitations are immediately forthcoming, consider approaching non-profits and socio-religious organisations. Many have members who are decision makers in organisations you wish to reach. A good showing in such outings could make those decision makers tell their companies about you – or even contact you there and then.

The point I’m making in this issue is that you need to put together an action plan to get your public speaking business started.

And there are many ways you can go about doing so. What’s worked for me may not necessarily work the same for you. However, there’s often only one way to find out – and that’s by JUMPING into the pool of life, and getting yourself wet with learning by discovery.

Don’t wait any longer. Get started today. And if you need help, consider getting coaching support from Burt Dubin, creator of the Speaking Success System, who has done it, and coached others to do it VERY WELL, for over 25 years – details provided below!

Comments?

Share this issue!

What fears or doubts are keeping you from (a) taking up Burt Dubin’s monthly speaker mentoring, or (b) buying his products?

You can choose to purchase Burt’s mentoring at any of the three (3) levels listed below:

1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Burt’s three mentoring packages can be likened to the seating options offered by airlines: Budget Delight (Economy); Mid Range (Business); and Top Shelf (First Class).

At least that’s how I like to think of them!

All three will get you to your desired destination of “speaking success-ville” – so long as you meet the requirements/play your part well (your fare, abide by the set guidelines etc). During the “flight”, the seat you have will determine how much personal service attention and preference the provider will accord you. It’s that simple

So, make your choice:1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Have a lovely week!

Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist

*Sole Agent For Burt Dubin’s Speaker Mentoring Service In Africa

Mobile: 234-803-302-1263

http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com

Tayo Solagbade is a Performance Improvement Specialist & multipreneur. He works with individuals/businesses who want to achieve highly profitable outcomes, and also with parents who want to raise real-world competent children.

==================

Get mentored by Burt Dubin - coach of some of the world's highest paid public speakers

For over 25 years, Burt Dubin has provided a variety of speaker mentoring products and services to clients worldwide.

Download this flyer as PDF: http://tinyurl.com/bdubin-africa

General, My DN Travel News, Writing/Blogging

How I Discovered And Used Print-On-Demand (POD) Self-Publishing For The First Time

November 17, 2012 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

Preview

POD technology is today widely used worldwide by millions of people as a means to create a wide variety of printed products. Examples include branded gift items, like t-shirts, caps, stickers which have high quality graphic designs printed on them.

Then there are the written publications – books, technical manuals, special reports which have front and back cover designs that have to be printed and bound to meet professional publishing standards. With traditional techniques, getting all these done used to cost huge sums.

Today, POD technology makes it easy for virtually anyone to do a lot more. In this short piece I share with you the story of my search for and eventual discovery of this solution. (True Story by Tayo Solagbade, Founder – Self-Development Academy Limited)

Background

In May 2002, as part of a business marketing strategy for my work on Self-Development Education, I began delivering – on formal invitation – a FREE one-hour talk titled “Ten Ways You Can Use Self-Development To Create The Future You Want”. The talk was based on my experiences in using practical self-development techniques to achieve consistent improvements in my ability to do anything I was engaged in.

What I wrote about in the talk were ten steps I always applied that enabled me excel as an Manager in Guinness Nigeria Plc over a 7 year period(up till the time I voluntarily resigned to start my own business), and which I was convinced would enable me succeed as an entrepreneur.

After delivering the talk to a variety of audiences, including employees in different branches of Corona Schools, students in the University of Lagos, members of a Church Youth Fellowship and others, I converted it to an automated ten week email auto responder course, which was eventually subscribed to by over 30 persons from within and outside Nigeria.

Some subscribers were from Exxon Mobil, Standard Chartered Bank, Nigerian Breweries, Guinness Nigeria Plc, and NTP UK. At a point, I got emails from subscribers who wanted copies of the entire ten week course, in book form that they could purchase.

But at the time, I only had it all in MS word, certainly not in ready-to-publish book format! I tried printing and binding at a business center – this turned out to be not only cumbersome, but also expensive, and led to variable print/binding etc quality. It just did not work.

So I Went Searching For A Printing/Publishing Establishment – And Almost Fainted In One!

I paid a visit to a publishing outfit in Ikeja, here in Lagos, and was fortunate enough to meet the Printing Press Supervisor, who kindly took out time from his work, to provide me with specific details of what it takes to publish a book – I mean the kind that small – 1 or 2 title – publishers (like you and me) would want to produce.

He explained that the larger the order, the cheaper each book unit becomes – which made sense!

Some finished book samples by known authors in the fields of education, tourism etc in Nigeria were shown to me.

One of the books (approx. 250 pages long) cost N104.30 per unit for a first printing of 5,000 copies i.e. costing N520,000.00! The other book was a bit bigger(and of higher quality) and cost N125.00 per unit for printing of 2000 units i.e. N250,000.00 cost!!

I almost fainted as it became painfully obvious that I could not afford this method of publishing.

NOTE that since the time the data used in the foregoing example was obtained in 2002, inflationary pressures in the Nigerian economy are very likely to have pushed the prices quoted further upwards – what with fuel prices increases and other policy changes.

Discovering the First FREE POD Company

Some weeks later while browsing on the net, I stumbled on a website http://www.cafepress.com that claimed anyone from any part of the world could FREELY use their resources to produce various physical products like books, branded T-shirts, mugs etc for sale to customers across the world.

They would only charge a little commission on EACH item purchased. If no sale is made, they charge nothing. I quickly signed up for this service.

By the time I checked the book publishing learning center on their website, I realized there were a lot of competencies I lacked which would be required for me to get my book ready for publishing with cafepress.com

It was not until May 2005, that I felt I had adequately understood how to typeset my document to meet the POD’s publishing requirements; use Adobe Photoshop to design my book covers, and also use the various tools provided on the POD’s website to upload my book/setup my online store.

By January 2004, I had acquired self-taught commercial web design skills, involving using applications like Adobe Photoshop and Macromedia Flash to create graphics for websites I went on to build for four(4) paying clients in 2004. The learning experiences I’ve had now enable me guide others who wish to do what I have done so it takes them less time and effort. And that is one of my reasons for writing this article.

Update (17th Nov. 2012): Many New POD Self-Publishing Options Available Today

Since writing this article back in 2006, other self-publishing media like Amazon.com’s Kindle have emerged. However, it has been my experience for instance that limited access to these media exists for publishers from my part of the world.

This is why http://www.lulu.com, which I have now used for over 6 years, remains my preferred Self-Publishing platform. Virtually all they offer is accessible by users from any part of the world.

What’s more, they’ve added useful improvements to automatically get your books distributed on as many viewing platforms as possible.

A notable introduction is the option to assign ISBN number to your book while using the wizard to publish your book.

I am well aware of Amazon’s http://www.createspace.com and others which offer useful solutions to writers looking to self-publish.

However, I have chosen to use the one I have personal experience in, as a basis for explaining the POD Self-Publishing process.

It goes without saying that you, the reader, will choose the one(s) that appeal(s) to you the most.

What is important is that you explore intelligent strategies to promote the book(s) you publish using this system.

In my case, I have over the years developed unique promotional strategies based on my Web Marketing System. The experience I’ve gained has been especially useful in creating awareness about my newest ebook (see details at end of this post).

Final Words: A New Lagos Based Conventional Publisher With More Viable Offers For Writers

On a final note, I offer this tip for writers intent on working with a brick and mortar publishing house out here.

About 2 years ago, I attended an elaborate event organised by Chimamanda Adichie’s foundation at which individual participants in a creative writing course she’d conducted formally “graduated”.

That was where I first learnt about www.kachifo.com and the high profile local book publishing service they offer.

Compared to the “dinosaur-like” print house I mentioned visiting earlier in this piece, Kachifo.com offers what appears to be a refreshingly viable alternative.

You cannot however take what I say here as an endorsement or recommendation.

Please do your own due diligence, and take your decision based on the conclusions you reach.

Goodluck!

NEW EBOOK – ACHIEVE YOUR WRITING GOALS!

My latest ebook (WHY YOU KEEP FAILING TO ACHIEVE YOUR WRITING GOALS! (10 Habits That are Holding You Back and How to Change Them for Good!), is now on sale in my online store at www.lulu.com/sdaproducts.

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Do you have any personal experience to share on this subject? Are there some other points you feel can be added, to help persons looking for answers?

Post your thoughts below.

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One important dimension of EI is "Interpersonal Effectiveness" i.e. the ability to get along with others – including people you do not like".

It’s Good To Be A Social Chameleon But BAD To Be A "Dishonest" One!

You NEVER know what people like this really believe or stand for – especially on ethical or moral issues.

Summary

Final Words

The First Question to Be Treated

This Content Will Be Restricted To Members-Only

Coming Soon: Educational Commercials on ALL My Farm Business Support Products & Services

Like I told “Y” when we later spoke on phone, he was the very first buyer to ever request a trial version of the app.

For me, that was a valuable bit of insight gained.

Final Words

SCROLL DOWN T0 VIEW FULL ISSUE

No. 65: Smart Entrepreneurs Make More Money By Speaking

More People Could Be Entrepreneurs

More Entrepreneurs Could Be Paid Speakers

By Speaking, Entrepreneurs Can Generate Multiple Streams Of Income!

Final Words

Have you been undecided about whether or not to become a paid speaker? Or have you been trying to get your speaking career off the ground with little success?

Comments?

Share this issue!

What fears or doubts are keeping you from (a) taking up Burt Dubin’s monthly speaker mentoring, or (b) buying his products?

You can choose to purchase Burt’s mentoring at any of the three (3) levels listed below:

1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

1. Choose the Right Topic for YOU

*****PRESS RELEASE*****

New EBook for Writers Uncovers 10 Often Overlooked Habits Keeping Many from Achieving Their Writing Goals

2. Think like a Journalist Needing To Meet a Deadline

3. Turn out Acceptable Writing by Focussing On Valued Outcome(s)

Final Words

Money Cannot Make Up For Absence of Parental Nurturing & Guidance

Help Your Child Develop These 3 Attributes & Boost Your Chances of Achieving Parental Success

1. Real World Relevant Know-How

2. Positive Outlook & Mental Stamina

3. Visualisation

Final Words: None of the Listed Attributes Requires A Parent To Be Wealthy!

I’ll end by saying that I did not write this post to preach at you.

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Enroll Your Child For My Life Skills Coaching Program (Download Flyer Below)

What Are You Like When Things Go Wrong For You?

A New Buyer’s Request Triggers a Crisis – For Me!

By The Next Morning When I Confirmed His Payment, I Had 2 Problems:

At This Point I KNEW It Was Going To Be One of Those Heartbreakingly Tough Days

Today We’re Taking Our Relationship Further

If You Can Learn To Laugh At Yourself, You’ll Master Adversity!

Final Words

Over Time I Got Recognised – And Rewarded For It.

What’s The Point I’m Making?

A Short Story To illustrate

My Point: Such Clients Never Think Win-Win!

My Business Is NOT An Ego Trip. And Yours Should Not Be

*****PRESS RELEASE*****

New EBook for Writers Uncovers 10 Often Overlooked Habits Keeping Many from Achieving Their Writing Goals

No. 64: Enough Reading – It’s Time You Started Giving Talks!

Should You Be Afraid When Looking For Gigs?

Suggestions About What You Can Do

Final Words: Don’t Wait Any Longer – Get Started Giving FREE And/Or Paid Talks Today!

Comments?

Share this issue!

What fears or doubts are keeping you from (a) taking up Burt Dubin’s monthly speaker mentoring, or (b) buying his products?

You can choose to purchase Burt’s mentoring at any of the three (3) levels listed below:

1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Preview

Background

So I Went Searching For A Printing/Publishing Establishment – And Almost Fainted In One!￼

Discovering the First FREE POD Company￼

Update (17th Nov. 2012): Many New POD Self-Publishing Options Available Today ￼

Final Words: A New Lagos Based Conventional Publisher With More Viable Offers For Writers￼

NEW EBOOK – ACHIEVE YOUR WRITING GOALS!

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Share this post!

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PRESS RELEASE

PRESS RELEASE

So I Went Searching For A Printing/Publishing Establishment – And Almost Fainted In One!

Discovering the First FREE POD Company

Update (17th Nov. 2012): Many New POD Self-Publishing Options Available Today

Final Words: A New Lagos Based Conventional Publisher With More Viable Offers For Writers