Self-Devpt. Nuggets™

Last week I had what I believe many people would consider a potentially traumatizing series of experiences. Like I told a mentor of mine, I could write a small book about all the things that tried sooo hard to go wrong…but which I stretched myself to (successfully) "save"…honestly!

What Are You Like When Things Go Wrong For You?

For instance, when your carefully made plans all seem to fall apart and everything appears to be working against you. This is something that will happen more than once to most people at various points in their lives.

The big question is how will YOU react when it happens to you? The answer you give when there is no crisis around to test you, may – or may not – reflect what your actual reaction will be when such a situation does occur.

And that’s why I’ll ask you to give that question plenty of thought – reflect deeply on it –as you read this post.

A New Buyer’s Request Triggers a Crisis – For Me!

Let me now share a little bit of the crisis I went through last week with you. Note that my purpose for doing so is NOT to make myself look like some kind of super hero or Ninja warrior.

Instead, my objective for doing this is to demonstrate that iron will and determination backed by relentless persistence and focus can defeat virtually any kind of adversity one may find him/herself in.

In other words, if you find yourself in a crisis, understand that you CAN emerge from it better off, if you do not cave in under the physical and/or psychological pressure it brings to bear on you.

I spent the latter part of last week right through the weekend, battling connectivity and smart phone issues (my Blackberry’s charging point broke!) that threatened to keep me from updating my blog…and more importantly from fulfilling an order for my Excel-VB Livestock Ration Formulator from a new client in Canada!

The gentleman had spoken with me on phone for over 15 minutes explaining that he had watched my video demonstration for the software (http://youtube.com/watch?v=5YWbqmh0MpA on my Youtube channel at http://youtube.com/user/TKSolagbadeSDAc), and that he was convinced it would be useful for feed formulation for animals on their network of farms.

Thursday night (11p.m Nigerian time), I sent him details of how to make payment.

Less than one hour after, he had replied my email saying he had made the $63 payment!

By The Next Morning When I Confirmed His Payment, I Had 2 Problems:

When we’d spoken on phone, I’d established that he knew I was based, in Nigeria. I liked the fact that (as I later told him), he acknowledged hearing a lot about scams, and was still convinced enough to want to proceed.

That made me doubly determined to ensure nothing stopped me from getting the spreadsheet app to him within 24 hours as promised.

But I soon discovered that I had a few serious problems to contend with:

1. My blackberry smart phone’s battery was too weak and could not be charged – due to the broken charging point. The guys who do delicate repairs of this kind were based at the PC village – 40 minute drive away. But that day being a Friday, traffic to that end was a bit prohibitive. This meant I could not use it as a modem to browse on my laptop.

2. To make things worse that morning, when I stepped out, I discovered THREE of my car’s four tyres knife-slashed, right where it was parked the night before. (Details of how this happened will be the subject of a different post. Suffice to say here that I felt like someone kicked me in between the legs when I made that discovery!).

That made it more difficult to go hunting for fuel with which to run the generator, so that I could prepare a personalized version of the app for the buyer!

At This Point I KNEW It Was Going To Be One of Those Heartbreakingly Tough Days

So, I zeroed my mind and walked into a neighbourhood cafe where I did my gallant best to endure the ordeal of punching the keyboard (which was caked with dust) to download a copy I’d made for an earlier buyer, and send as attachment to the client.

Thankfully, after a few time out error reports, the email eventually went through and the client confirmed downloading it successfully later at night. 

Forty eight hours later, he wrote to say he was finding the use of the app “interesting” as he was getting results along the lines he’d expected.

Only then did it feel safe "touching" the money he sent…if you know what I mean

Today We’re Taking Our Relationship Further

This buyer told me he manages a network of self-sustaining agro based communities for an international organization with branches in many countries (but "not yet" in Nigeria).

He’s just given me the go ahead, to make references to examples he provided in his emails to me (and quote him where appropriate), in a new write-up I’m doing that’s been inspired by his description of how they operate their entreprises.

I consider their approach a viable model for our agro based societies in Africa. And I plan to use my write-up to build a case for communities or groups out here, to achieve more self sufficiency regardless of government ineptitude by adopting a similar method.

I’m sure you’ll agree with me that his above willingness may have been influenced by the fact that I fulfilled my promise of getting his ordered application to him as and when due.

If You Can Learn To Laugh At Yourself, You’ll Master Adversity!

I hope I’ve made you smile/laugh a bit with my "things fall apart" anecdote

The truth is that even while I was going through the above problems and trying to resolve them, I constantly poked fun at myself, to the surprise of those around me e.g the café operators.

In most cases I readily told them what had happened to me, and how I was trying to find a way to achieve my goal regardless of those negative occurrences. Then I would find ways to highlight anything that had happened, that I could tell a joke about.

Someone expressed concern that I seemed to have had an unhealthily ample visitation of bad happenings for one person.

Here’s what I told her:

“I’ve gone WAY beyond the stage when any such experience can bother me in any way. Infact, I use them a lot in the talks I give, and even in my daily interactions, as well as my write-ups to share insights about overcoming adversity to achieve my goals NO MATTER WHAT.

I feel bad that you see what happened to me the way you have. For me, such experiences only make me stronger. And I welcome them whenever they choose to "occur", because I know I’ll win and be better off at the end.

That’s why I can always reflect on them and laugh quite heartily like I did this evening while sharing with my sister-in-law, who’s visiting Lagos.”

Final Words

As I write this, not only have I succeeded in winning the trust and confidence of a new international client, but I have also resolved ALL the other problems that reared their heads during that period.

And no one can tell from looking at me that I went through such a rough patch recently.

But I know that I’m a stronger person NOW, than I was before I had those experiences.

To achieve goals you set for yourself, resolve to NEVER let yourself crack under the pressures imposed by adversity or hardships. They will always be temporary in nature.

Therefore when things are not going the way you want, “steel yourself” as Burt Dubin would say. And make sure you ride that storm with a smile on your face, even as you work hard to turn things around for the better. You’ll succeed faster – and better – by so doing.