How badly you want to succeed in any area of endeavour you embark upon, will often determine how well you eventually succeed, in the long run.
And since succeeding has been defined a “never ending journey of striving perpetually for excellence“, THAT means you need to (like I explained in the 10th Way described in my Self-Development Bible) BE HUNGRY & STAY HUNGRY…for success, if you want to excel at what you do!
So what are YOU willing to do to achieve the success you say you desire?
Hopefully you are not one of those increasingly larger numbers of people who engage in the self-delusion of empty affirmations NOT backed by diligent and intelligent ACTION TAKING.
I refer especially to those who hide behind pretentious religious dispositions they display, to try winging their way to success.
Like I’ve said in past articles, and will continue to say, there are no reliable, worthwhile shortcuts to lasting, authentic success.
Majority of the exceptional achievers many lazy minded people regard with a mixture of admiration and envy today, often have a string of past failures that they had to relentlessly ignore, and overcome with hard work and persistence, in spite of adversity, to arrive at the success they enjoy today.
You most likely have read a variant of the above before. You most probably know the true stories of success achieved despite suffering and setbacks, about some famous persons.
Most people I meet know all of these things. But it always amazes me to find that despite reading and hearing about how those they idolize in success had to sweat, struggle and strain to reach the top, MOST of these same people express a shameless (and nauseating) tendency to want the same REWARDS dropped in their laps, with little or no exertion required from them to get it!
But then again, that attitude, often displayed by many of the new generation of youths and young adults I meet, out here, is a direct fallout of the instant gratification culture promoted by PC and Internet technology driven conveniences we enjoy in today’s modern world.
At the click of a mouse, one is able today to get things she would not even imagine possible about 2 to 3 decades ago.
It is for this reason, that today’s parents have their work cut out for them. Especially those who have to care for teenagers or preteens.
The teenage years are the most crucial determinant, of how kids will arrive adulthood.
If not well managed during this period, especially in terms of helping them to mould their CHARACTER, in addition to knowledge and skills they develop, teenagers can grow into adults who need outpatient care from their parents, because they lack the competence to function as independent adults when they leave home.
Strength of Character, is the ultimate key to lasting success in life.
Without it, most people would not be able to deal with delays, disappointments, setbacks, failures and anything else that goes wrong in their lives.
Such an inability to deal with adversity will make them more prone to experience what can be called PERMANENT DEFEAT – to paraphrase Napoleon Hill, from Think & Grow Rich, in which he described FAILURE as TEMPORARY DEFEAT.
But to help your child acquire an ability of this kind, you must have it, and your child must SEE you display/use it, if your message to him/her is to fully hit home with him/her.
So, do YOU have strength of character?
Can you deal with things going wrong, as if a storm is brewing in your life, for long periods, without giving up?
Have you had any experiences that have tested your faith in yourself? To the point that you (like people in my part of the world so often do) began to “believe” some enemy in your village or home town was using “juju” or “black magic” to make you fail or struggle perpetually?
If YES, then take it as a sign that YOU NEED to work on developing GREATER strength of character than you currently have. THAT is the only sure, time tested ANTIDOTE to permanent defeat and frustration. Once you have strength of character, NOTHING – and I do mean NOTHING can stop you.
But guess what the best part is?
When you have it, especially in the generous amounts that I have found it possible to develop it, you become VERY attractive to others who seek INCREASE in their lives.
You become a source of inspiration for them – they will see you and what you continue to do DESPITE the hardships you go through, and they will draw massive inspiration to pursue their own valued goals.
Take it from me. Like I always say: I practice what I preach. In other words, I LIVE this stuff! Below, I narrate a true story to illustrate
Back in April 2013, during my first month in Cotonou, after I relocated from Nigeria’s Lagos, I found myself in the very uncomfortable situation, by the end of my first week of stay (in the small and cheap Hotel Petit Pere, located in the center of the city), of insufficient cash to continue paying for a room.
This happened due to my arriving with limited funds and not being conversant with the exchange rate between the Naira and the CFA.
Typical of my entrepreneurial self, viewing the world through rose coloured glasses of optimism, I’d assumed i would easily find rented accommodation within the first week.
What I did not know was the real estate agents I kept going to would be so naughty as to repeatedly ask me to pay 2,500 FCFA to go see one supposedly “good” apartment after another.
They kept coming to pick me up from the hotel to go on visits to different properties to let, until I noticed a trend in which they took me to houses that were not even fixed up with electricity or water access!
When I queried them, they readily assured me those would be sorted soon as I paid up.
But a closer look at the properties, and a chance conversation with residents in the neighbourhood, soon revealed some of the houses were not even up for rent.
The agents had seen my desperation to escape from paying the hotel fees, and exploited it.
For those looking to rent accommodation, in Cotonou or elsewhere, this above mentioned potential risk is noteworthy.
You’re advised to find a trustworthy local to move around with you, especially as you explore offers on ground – and in particular when you discuss/negotiate terms with agents and property owners.
It goes without saying that you need to ensure you read, understand and agree with anything you are asked to sign e.g tenancy agreement (which in a place like Cotonou, is often written in French, for instance).
A nifty little book on the above theme (see cover below), written and published for sale to a global audience by
Dr. Nana Arnold Kouayep, offers useful time tested experience based wisdom from his deep repertoire as a bilingual Jurist.
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Too low on funds to stay in the hotel, I moved out and began visiting different properties with “A Louer” (To Let) signs in desperation, but unable to find anyone willing to accept my crazy proposal that I be allowed to move in and pay by Monday, when funds I expected would arrive
Soon it was nightfall, and I still had not found a solution to the problem of a place to rest/sleep. Carrying my travel bag and backpack, I kept walking from street to street, through areas around the Etoile Rouge roundabout.
On a particular street, I noticed a church building for what seemed to be an Anglican style church. The lights were on. So I went in, and seeing an elderly man around 65 years old, explained that I needed a place to stay for the night, having run out of cash to continue in the hotel.
Speaking kindly and acting concerned, he asked me a few questions, and I replied.
Then he asked what country I was from, noting that my spoken French lacked the common Beninese “flavour”. “Gabon?” he suggested. I told him, NO – and added “Nigeria”.
But I did not miss it.
His next words were along the lines of: “Sorry, but I can’t help you. I think you should try finding your way, possibly to places where other Nigerians live, so they can take you in.”
I asked him where that would be, but he replied that he had no idea. However, I got the distinct impression that he simply could not WAIT for me to leave LOL!
That discouraging scenario would replay itsself at about 3 other places, until I got to a private residence around midnight.
There I saw a plump looking young man sitting on one of the fancy Cotonou motor bikes while chatting with a friend at the gate. I greeted them and explained that I needed help.
The same question and answer session as occurred in the previous places took place.
I was already thinking nothing good would come of it yet again, when he suddenly asked me to show him my passport, so he could be sure I’d come in with correct papers.
When I did that, and he’d satisfied himself they were in order, he said he knew a place I could stay.
About 30 minutes later, he’d dropped me off at an area around the Stade De L’amitie (the national stadium), where he introduced me to some private security guards, and explained my situation to them
Long story short, they agreed to let me sleep on the tiled outside floor of the shops they were guarding from that night right through the weekend, into Monday morning, when funds arrived at the bank, for me, from Nigeria.
I exchanged numbers with my new friend and he left for home waving backwards to me. “An angel sent by God” I said to myself LOL!
During that 4 day period over the weekend, the guards would let me use their shower to bathe and clean up, including wash my clothes (before daylight).
Then once it was dawn, I would go walking around the stadium to watch people do different sports till nightfall. But lacking money, I could buy no food to eat.
Yep, I mean it. From that Friday night till Monday a.m of April 2013, I only drank water – as I had NO CASH to buy ANY food to eat!
I knew no one in the country at the time, and I had made no friends I could reach out to. It was far from being a funny experience.
Yet each day, I would write and publish a new article on my blog – click here to check my April 2013 archives: I did not miss a single publishing day. That was how driven I was. The hunger pangs I felt did not stop me from staying motivated to do what I LOVED!
NB: Those close to me – my kids and relatives – have heard this story from me before now. But THIS is the first time I’m sharing it publicly. And it’s NOT even half told yet LOL!
For now, I’ll end by noting that on Sunday night, the hunger I felt was so great that around 10p.m, I approached a lady selling pineapples in front of the stadium for a pineapple.
She told me “C’est cent francs” i.e. it’s 100 French CFA (about N33 Naira at the time).
I replied that I knew, but that I had no money. She looked me over in disgust and told me to leave. I quietly did so while consoling myself that I’d at least tried and thay the rejection I earned was the worst that could have happened.
Retiring to a corner bench outside a closed shop, I lay down with my head on my backpack, while my travel bag was beside me. (This experience really opened my eyes to what it meant to be homeless, I tell you!)
As I looked up into the sky, praying that time would run fast into morning so I could go to the bank to receive the UBA Africash transfer I was expecting, I heard the old lady call out to me: “Monsieur!”
Sitting up, I saw her motion for me to come over. Getting to her table, she handed me a pineapple and told her son to peel it for me.
I thanked her profusely, and watched, with my stomach growling, as the little boy peeled the fruit and sliced it up into a nylon bag that he handed me,
Thanking them both, I retuned to my corner and proceeded to eat the fruit, prolonging each bite as long as I could, to savour the flavour.
Never had pineapple tasted so great in my mouth before!
That night I slept much better than I had on the previous nights – for obvious reasons. Food is good my dear reader! No matter how tough you are, lack of food for prolonged periods WILL get you down sooner or later.
The next morning, by around 9a.m, I had collected cash from the UBA branch in front of the stadium
Life was good again…or so I thought – until few weeks later, I once again ran out of funds and had to sleep on the streets of Porto Novo, when I made my very first visit to the famous Songhai Integrated Farming Centre.
Details of that and other trials I passed through in my first few weeks in Benin Republic will be in the audio podcast I will soon publish for members of DiscoverCotonou.com to freely access.
I’ll end this piece by saying that my willingness to endure any form of hardship to achieve any goals I set for myself is why I AM the unstoppable force of nature that others find me to be.
The articles linked below offer true stories of my achievements by the end of that first year (2013) in Benin, despite my rocky start – such as:
On another occasion, I had to write a blog post due for publishing on my blog, while inside the chauffeur driven jeep of a Cotonou based Nigerian diplomat client, at 11.30p.m. We were stuck in a traffic jam on the way back to Seme border, after a visit to his farm in South West Nigeria. Read more
FINAL WORDS: If you want to achieve your own goals, no matter what, you MUST (MUST, MUST!!!) be willing to face and overcome ANY adversity that comes your way
If you need help learning how to do that, signup for my Master of Adversity (MA) coaching program
