Self-Devpt. Nuggets™

Successful people don’t always have offspring who do well like them. This often happens because such people fail to “coach” their offspring to develop their potential for greatness. Successful parenting demands MORE than that!

I’ve spent YEARS doing lots of reading and deep thinking about this subject…

My efforts have led me to closely explore the parenting efforts and ideas of some highly successful people in order to find answers.

In the process, I also examined myself, and my experiences/observations right through my childhood, alongside those of my siblings, as well as my peers in school, at work etc.

Here’s what I found out:

With the exception of a tiny few, who achieve self-discovery on their own, and go on to record great works, most times the offspring of great people will need to be COACHED to develop their potential for greatness by their GREAT parents or some other competent adult.

The problem is some successful parents make the mistake of assuming they do not have time to spend COACHING their kids to be like them

Nothing could of course be further from the truth.

Like I have said in my past writing, I believe Time Management is a myth.

Instead Intelligent Self-Management is the key to relentless continuous improvement in ANY area of life.

Successful parents who claim (or feel) their “busy” schedules or work related responsibilities are too enormous to include coaching their kids, do themselves a great disservice.

Here’s the point I always make…

When it comes to doing other things they want to do, these same parents are able to find time, don’t they (including attending parties, going to play Golf with friends etc)?

That’s how you know it’s NOT that they are too busy!

Which means IF they want to, they CAN make out time.

The truth is they fail to self-manage properly to make out meaningful “time” to SHARE their experienced based insights into the secrets of their success with their offspring,

Take the example of a successful sports person who achieves worldwide fame by setting and breaking records that contemporaries are unable to equal.

Very rarely does achievement of that magnitude come due to only physical ability. The art of breaking records has both mental and physical dimensions to it.

Insights provided by Dr. Roger Bannister in several Sports Illustrated articles he published after becoming the first man to run the mile under 4 minutes, revealed that much.

An existing “record” is often a reflection of where current top level human efforts have reached.

To break that record, a human being must not only have the physical ability/training, but s/he must also have the right mental state or mind set to do so.

In the book titled “Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude”, Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone noted that Dr. Thomas Kirk Cureton, then director of University of Illinois’ physical fitness laboratory,  taught Bannister the “art of record breaking”.

Interestingly, Dr. Cureton’s ideas reportedly apply to both athletes and non-athletes, because they enable the former run faster, and equip the latter to live longer!

Get yourself a copy of the book and read the chapter titled “How to Raise Your Energy Level”.

Now, the role played by Dr. Cureton in helping Bannister discover those “secrets”  can easily be played by a world class athlete to his/her offspring from an early age.

The case of Ghana’s Abedi Pele provides a relevant practical and real life example.

I have no personal knowledge of how he went about it, but since he retired from professional football, 2 of Abedi’s sons have featured prominently in the Ghanaian national teams at various levels – including the senior team, at the World Cup.

What’s more, they have often given good accounts of themselves.

Interviews with Abedi indicate he’s been a guiding force/inspiration behind the evolution of his boys.

And that’s my point.

Their performance can be said to be consistent with their pedigree or background/ancestry. If they keep up the tradition, we should see their offspring emulate them.

But don’t get me wrong here…

I’m not saying a great or successful person’s offspring must go into the same field as his/her parents’ to achieve greatness.

Instead I argue that the MENTAL and/or PHYSICAL CAPACITY for achieving greatness which the parent has, can be successfully passed on to the child via coaching.

Especially if it is started at an early age.

The parent simply needs to nurture a close enough relationship with the child to be able to help him/her identify one or more areas of keen interest/passion that s/he has.

Then drawing from his/her experienced based know-how of the basic requirements for succeeding, such a parent can guide his/her child to successful achievement…or at least set him/her up for it.

This approach of “coaching” one’s offspring, has helped some families keep their wealth across several generations. E.g. the Rockefeller family.

I’ve written several articles in the past in which I mentioned reading a story about the Rockefeller family.

According to the narrative, every child in the Rockefeller family, from a very early age, gets taken through some kind of “in-house” coaching program that teaches various life skills.

For instance, they learn to consciously save money that they get, and they are given money making micro-business projects to handle e.g. rabbit rearing.

I think if you Google around a bit, you’ll come across some of these accounts.

My point is the Rockefeller family children end up arriving adulthood well equipped to succeed.

They ultimately possess financial/vocational education and skills to maintain or even help grow the family wealth.

This is unlike what happens with the estates of some other great achievers, who after they pass on have their fortunes frittered away,  (often due to lack of know-how) by their offspring.

I argue that such incidents can be avoided, IF the successful parent chooses to adopt the approach described in this article, to empower his/her offspring, before s/he passes on.

Final Words: Human beings do NOT learn by Osmosis (& even if they do, it won’t be efficient)!

To assume or expect that your child “sees” you doing it every day, and will therefore learn what is needed by so doing, would be a big mistake.

Not everyone can learn that way.

And sometimes even those who can learn that way can miss doing so, IF they do NOT know there’s something they need to learn other than those they are already paying attention to!

As a parent succeeding in the real world, you have an obligation to POINT your child in the right direction, and guide him/her along…

You need to draw on YOUR better perspective of what s/he needs to survive in the world that YOU arrived in ahead of him/her.

If you’re not sure how to proceed, consider getting someone with real life coaching experience to support you in doing it.

Don’t pass it all on to a paid coach to work with your kids.

Insert yourself in the process to make the experience more meaningful for your child.

That way, you can continue with your child, after the outsider is gone.

Good luck!