Self-Devpt. Nuggets™

Wrong! This dilemma confronts many people in their daily lives. And yet it’s such a simple thing to master. Just adopt the right mode of thinking – and your ability to achieve any goals you set your mind on, will be dramatically enhanced.

“Aside from being ostracized for my clothes, the kids called me poor a lot. And to their thinking, if you were poor, you were no good.” – Ben Carson in “Gifted Hands”

Insights from the Life Story of Ben Carson (the Famous American Brain Surgeon)

As a child, Carson had to pass through school struggling with crippling poverty. He and his brother had only their mother to care for them.

And she, lacking formal education, was a bit limited in her ability to provide for all their needs. So, quite often, Carson had to attend classes in clothes that got him picked on by classmates. And they also called him poor.

Like he noted in his book (“Gifted Hands”), many of those who did the name calling were actually not better off, and therefore really had no basis on which to call someone else such names.

He however added that being a teenager at the time, that little bit of insight escaped him. What’s more, he also (wrongly) assumed that those kids were better than him because they had 2 parents and he had one.

The points made in the above paragraph, are worthy of note for parents.

What we take for granted may be life saving “education” we can give our kids. Mrs. Carson gave her sons a lot of pep talks about being self-confident and never feeling inferior. But they did not always apply it. Thankfully however, they put it to use often enough to achieve noteworthy success in life.

Carson’s story indicates that our kids needs to be constantly reminded that not having – or being poor – does not make them less than anyone.

Ironically, sometimes even we, as parents, need to remind ourselves of the same thing

But What If You Lack Clothes & Suddenly Get Invited to Dinner With Rich Associates You Just Met?

This can – and does – happen. If it happens to you, take heart. Many have been there, and survived.

Some people may be lucky to have friends or relatives they can call to loan them clothes or shoes to wear. Or even to lend them money to go shopping.

But others may lack access to such helpers.

You probably believe attending that meeting could lead to the change of fortunes you desire. Yet presenting an appearance that creates a poor impression could derail everything.

What is one to do in such a situation?

I’ll tell you: Your ability to express yourself in an engaging manner (i.e. your conversational skills) CAN save you.

Learn to communicate in a manner, that commands the serious attention and interest of anyone in your company – no matter how sophisticated they may be.

You will not need special clothing to make an impact on people in this manner.

And compared to your dressing, and looks, your words have the power to leave a more lasting impression on those you relate with.

Here’s a true story that illustrates the above point quite effectively.

A “Tramp” Uses His Speaking Prowess to Befriend a Rich Businessman & Get a Job (True Story)

This story is taken from Dale Carnegie’s excellent book titled “How to Win Friends & Influence People by Public Speaking”.

One rainy day, a man (let’s call him John) dressed like a tramp knocked on the office door of a successful business owner (call him Jack).

When Jack first saw John standing in the rain, in his tattered clothes, he almost asked him to leave. But something in John’s manner – the way he carried himself, and looked at him – made Jack decide to speak to him.

John proceeded to express himself in impeccable English language, that instantly captured Jack’s attention and interest.

As they spoke, Jack’s impression of John completely changed. He no longer thought of him in terms of his outward appearance. John explained the circumstances that led to an unexpected change of fortunes for him. By the end of their conversation, Jack was so impressed that the next day, he arranged for John to be given a job!

Moral of the Story: Your Lack of Money or Material Possessions is NOT a Fatal Handicap

Never let anyone make you feel less than you are. It does not matter who they are, or what they have.

I know from personal experience however, that this can be quite difficult to believe – or remember. Especially when you have no money in your pockets. Or you’re wearing cheap (or deteriorating) attire, around people dressed exquisitely.

It’s even worse if they turn out to be snobs, who go out of their way to belittle you.

So yes it will be hard to do. But when you have no alternatives, put your persuasive speaking skill to use.

That’s what John did in the above story.

If you do not yet have it mastered, start today, to develop your ability to express yourself convincingly.

It is a competence that cannot be bought with money. Yet it can gain you access to money – and a whole lot more e.g. respect, recognition, admiration, fame, great friendships, leadership etc.

Dale Carnegie’s book offers a wealth of information that has helped many people reap such benefits. Read others as you go on.

Good luck.