Self-Devpt. Nuggets™

Sigh. It keeps happening. Despite the many valuable opportunities it denies those who do it, they keep doing it. I refer to the tendency some have, for wanting to prove they are better than others. And the sometimes shocking contempt they display for those they (try to) “unfeelingly use” to achieve their selfish ends. Read this article to learn why your child must think and act differently, to make the most of herself in life!

Insecure Persons Abound In Society: Learn to Identify, and Protect Yourself from Them

Once you seem to be equally (or more) competent than they are in a specific area of endeavor, they feel threatened. Next thing you know, they’ll start speaking and acting funny. They’ll begin “competing” with you. But most times you’ll be unaware they nuirse such feelings towards you!

Beware of people like this.Learn to identify them, so they don’t hurt you. They display tell tale habits.

For example: When you buy a new car, they immediately decide to change theirs. If they see you with a new smartphone, they quickly whip theirs out, and ask “Can yours do this?” (In the latter case, there may be exceptions who are just out to have good fun with you).

If they witness you speaking French to a foreigner who’s lost his way, they want you to know they speak Spanish or some other language. Or they’ll tell you they have a relative or friend who does.

And if they don’t do that, they’ll claim “You know, if I wasn’t so busy, I’d learn to be fluent in XYZ language too. But there’s just no free time to spare!“. They’ll say that, most times forgetting that YOU managed to become fluent, despite being just as busy as they are, if not more!

No matter how trivial the issue is, they always read an “I’m better than you” meaning into anything their perceived rival does. And they constantly seek ways to correct the psychological imbalance they feel.

You Don’t Need to Prove You’re Better Than Anyone: It’s an Unhealthy Way to Live!

I’ve written about it in the past. And today, I still tell my kids it’s unwise to go around with that kind of unproductive mental attitude.

This need some people feel to compete with others who harbor no such feelings towards them. It is a serious problem and has been since the dawn of mankind. It is the reason why jealousy and envy continue to destroy relationship between/among different groups of people…including relatives.

This attitude prevents those who have it from taking advantage of help extended to them by those they needlessly resent.

What they need is to act – daily! – in line with an Emancipated Thinking Habit™ (see image below)…

A True Story That Illustrates How Trying to Use Others, &/Or Prove You’re Better, Can Cost YOU!

A few years back, I had a discussion with a long time associate, who shared the following true – and very instructive – story with me.

Tim, an independent consultant, made contact with Ike – a business promotion service provider – whose work he encountered while with a client. (Note: Names used are not real).

Ike possessed an unusual combination of skills that apparently enabled him achieve considerable marketing reach and impact at low cost. Not just for himself, but also his clients.

This enabled him spend considerably less time, money and effort to get marketing exposure he wanted.

In contrast, Tim enjoyed recognition from existing clients – and they gave him referrals. But he was less proficient in his business promotion for generating new sales leads outside established contacts.

He knew it, and sincerely wanted to improve on that aspect of his marketing. At least he told Ike so.

It Soon Became Obvious That Tim Only Sought to “Exploit” Ike

Tim began enquiring about services Ike offered.

Over a period of weeks however, Ike noticed Tim’s “conversations” suggested he had ulterior motives.

For one thing, each time Ike replied to the enquiries (by email or phone), nothing ever came of it.

Tim always found an excuse to not take a decision.

Instead he would come up with a new twist to the request. For instance, Tim intermittently asked – subtly – that Ike introduce/recommend him (i.e. Tim) to his (Ike’s clients), so he could offer his consulting service to them.

Ike considered the request strange given the fact that he did not have any clients with such a need.

What was more, he knew such a move could back fire in many ways against him if was not careful.

He had yet to really get to know Tim – and had not even had any business dealings with him.

Yet, Tim repeatedly made propositions along those lines, rather than take up the main issue he claimed to have sought Ike out for!

But That Was Not All!

Tim also repeatedly suggested they do joint ventures of various kinds. That was not a bad thing.

But 9 times out of 10, what he proposed strongly indicated he wanted to use Ike’s skills to look good!

For instance, he kept asking Ike come up with learning material they could use/sell at a learning event. Knowing that Ike was skilled in this area, he would then ask if he had any already written.

Ike would often suggest they both prepare material specifically for the event, to add useful value to attendees. Tim would counter that he was too busy, and that Ike would be better off doing that, then letting him see!

Final Words

These one-sided “me, myself and I” requests from Tim were obvious signs of dis-honest intentions.

Luckily, Ike saw through them.

So, he protected himself, by avoiding committing himself to anything.

And he also gradually withdrew from Tim, knowing their relationship would never be win-win.

People who behave like Tim will always lose more than they get.

Let your child know s/he must think and act differently (click here), IF s/he wants to make the most of herself in life!