Everyone Needs Coaching – Even YOU

PREVEIW: This week’s issue of my speaking IDEAS newsletter is based – in part – on excerpts from my latest ebook titled “Why You Keep Failing To Achieve Your Writing Goals!” – for which I recently published a press release.

Even if you’re on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there” – Anon

I’m good at learning and doing new stuff by myself. Yet, I readily take advantage of any opportunity to improve myself by learning from others. My personal philosophy is based on the principle of continuous improvement, and this corresponding definition of success:

“Success is a journey in the never ending pursuit of excellence – and not a destination.”

I happen to believe I can learn from anyone regardless of age, gender, race or any other factor. As far as I’m concerned, as long as that person knows (or can do) something I want to know (or be able to do) to become better, s/he can be my coach. Period. Those who know me will confirm I practice what I preach.

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Publication: Tayo Solagbade’s Weekly Public Speaking IDEAS Page (PSIP) Newsletter

Date: Monday 12th November 2012

No: 63

Title: Everyone Needs Coaching…Even YOU

Author & Publisher: Tayo K. Solagbade [234-803-302-1263]

Blog URL: http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/blog

Archive (For E-mail only version started 14th May 2012): Click here to view

Archive (For Blog version started 24th September 2011): Click here

Hi,

Please find below the latest issue of my weekly Public Speaking Ideas page for 2012. 

SD Nuggets Blog

New posts from last week that may interest you!
Public Speaking

[Monday]:

Entrepreneurship [Tuesday]:

Self Development [Wednesday]:

Career Development [Thursday]:

Parenting [Friday]:

Writing/Blogging [Saturday]:

Writing/Blogging [Saturday]:
Want me to write for you? Click here…

*****PRESS RELEASE*****

New EBook for Writers Uncovers 10 Often Overlooked Habits Keeping Many from Achieving Their Writing Goals

 Click here to learn more…

******************************

No. 63: Everyone Needs Coaching – Even YOU

This week’s issue of my speaking IDEAS newsletter is based – in part – on excerpts from my latest ebook titled “Why You Keep Failing To Achieve Your Writing Goals!” – for which I recently published a press release.

Even if you’re on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there” – Anon

I’m good at learning and doing new stuff by myself. Yet, I readily take advantage of any opportunity to improve myself by learning from others.

My personal philosophy is based on the principle of continuous improvement, and this corresponding definition of success:

“Success is a journey in the never ending pursuit of excellence – and not a destination.”

I happen to believe I can learn from anyone regardless of age, gender, race or any other factor. As far as I’m concerned, as long as that person knows (or can do) something I want to know (or be able to do) to become better, s/he can be my coach. Period.

Those who know me will confirm I practice what I preach.

This attitude has helped me achieve tremendous success in a wide variety of endeavours – to the surprise of many.

And that’s why I also make a point of giving credit to those who “coach” me to success in any areas of my life.

My First Personal Paid Coach

For instance, up till this day, I tell all who will listen, that my strong foundation in basic HTML, which proves so valuable – even today – in managing my websites and blogs, was developed way back in 1998.

Back then, over a period of about 8 weeks (of one-on-one personal paid coaching), Victor – a light complexioned teenage operative in Benin city’s Prest Cyber Cafe painstakingly taught me most of what I know today about HTML website design.

Understand this: I was a high performing middle level manager in a large corporate multinational. When the Internet “movement” came into town, I quickly saw the opportunities it could create for me.

So, in my usual early adopter manner, I went all out to find out what I could do to get competently involved in its use. A few visits to cyber cafes around soon made it clear there was a lot to learn before one could graduate from being just a content viewer/user on the Internet, to become a contributor (e.g. content publisher) on it.

And I instinctively knew I wanted to belong to the latter group. So, I dispensed with my advanced spreadsheet applications developer “bragging rights” earned inside my company, and accepted the humble cap of a “website developer wannabe” – with my teenage coach.

For me, it took only a few seconds to make this mental switch.

I however realise that for some people in a similar position (especially in my part of the world), it may take considerable effort to do what I did.

That is: to “travel by bus” – everyday – from my air conditioned office, to a run down cafe on the other side of town, to learn from a “small cyber cafe operator boy” who did not even have any formal credentials to show :-)

Build On What Your Coach Gives You

The way I saw it, all I needed to know was that he could create web pages using HTML code in notepad, and add (at the time) impressive looking GIF animations to them.

That was enough for me. And I knew that once I had learnt the basic stuff from him, my well developed aptitude for self-tutoring would take over.

It’s over 14 years afterwards, and that’s exactly what has happened.

Without attending any other formal coaching classes, I have successfully built on the foundation Victor gave me, to become highly proficient at developing websites, and other web based resources.

But even during that time, I’ve periodically identified a need to get coached by different people in other areas of interest. So, you see, it’s a continuous process.

And it should be that way for every person who wishes to operate at close to his/her fullest potential at all times. No one ever knows it all.

We must continually strive to improve ourselves – even when people already call us the best. That’s what keeps true champions at the top of their fields (or sports) for decades on end e.g Pete Sampras, Roger Federer, Michael Jordan etc. You know their kind :-)

Not Everyone Can Successfully Self-Tutor: Coaching Support Can Take You To The Next Level!

Fifteen years of coaching people from different backgrounds and age groups, have however taught me that not everyone is comfortable with self-tutoring like I am.

This does not mean they are weak. We all just have different learning styles. Some of us do better when we have someone – constantly available – to guide and challenge us (and even cheer from the sidelines), as we aim for new heights of achievement.

Indeed, certain people who have already reached a respectable level of success may now need coaching intervention to revamp their “plateaued” careers!

For instance there are the seeming one-hit wonders in different fields e.g. The guy who made it big last year and has since “gone quiet”. Quite often coaching support can help such persons rediscover themselves.

A coach can guide you to effectively address factors that may be affecting your progress. In addition s/he can help you hone your skills so that you become better over time.

Even people who are already doing well, look for coaching support to improve themselves. This applies to all areas of our lives – including public speaking.

Avoid The Trap of Thinking You CANNOT Need Help

As experts-who-speak, there’s a real danger of assuming that because people look up to us for learning or information, we may not need anyone to learn from.

The reality is however very different. Majority of the world’s most productive people have been known to readily acknowledge specific people in their personal and work lives for providing them with valuable coaching feedback.

The relationship may be formal or semi-formal (like the one Oprah Winfrey shares with her popular fitness and health coach). At other times it could be informal – like the one Michael Jordan shared with his late father.

What is important to note is that these successful people realised they needed help to not only stay at their best, but also to improve on their achievements.

The minute you conclude you have nothing new to learn from anyone else, you set a trap of ultimate retrogression for yourself.

And it WILL show through eventually – because when you do not seek ways to add value to yourself, you will eventually run out of “value” you can add to others. And those who learn from you will eventually discover that you have less to offer.

When you no longer add value to audiences as a speaker, guess what will happen when next they seek a speaker for their event…? Your phone may probably not be the one that rings…I’m sure you know what I mean :-)

Final Words: Nature, Indeed Life As A Whole, Abhors imbalance!

The Chinese famously talk about the opposing “Ying” and “Yang” life forces. In science we learnt about action and the equal and opposite reaction.

You and I – we all – are a part of a balanced universal ecosystem. You cannot be different when it comes to this rule: you must strike a similar balance in your own life, otherwise you will struggle to achieve your full potential.

Yet again, the amazing (late) Jim Rohn comes to my rescue with another very apt quote:

“We could all use a little coaching. When you’re playing the game, it can be hard to think of everything.” – Jim Rohn

So, let me now urge you to take a deep and honest look today at yourself. Where are you NOW, in your career as an expert-who-speaks?

Ask yourself if you could do better than you are currently doing.

Then look around (online and off the net) for persons who can help you improve yourself.

It’s important to emphasise here that you do NOT necessarily have to make direct contact with the individual you decide to make your coach.

If s/he offers resources like websites, blogs, newsletters you can use to gain access to his/her “wisdom”, start with those. Then over time, gravitate towards making direct contact if/when you feel prepared to take your relationship to that next level.

Sometimes what you get through the remote resources may end up being all you need. At other times, you may discover you need more personalised attention via paid telephone mentoring and so on.

What’s important is that you take action to get the coaching help you need. By so doing, you’ll be better positioned to achieve your most valued goals. And one day you will look back with a sense of fulfillment at your worthwhile accomplishments.

Comments?

What do you think of the above message? Do you have any personal experience to share on this subject? Are there some other points you feel can be added, to help persons looking for answers? Please share your thoughts – click here to post a comment on the blog!

Share this issue!

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What fears or doubts are keeping you from (a) taking up Burt Dubin’s monthly speaker mentoring, or (b) buying his products?

You can choose to purchase Burt’s mentoring at any of the three (3) levels listed below:

1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Burt’s three mentoring packages can be likened to the seating options offered by airlines: Budget Delight (Economy); Mid Range (Business); and Top Shelf (First Class).

At least that’s how I like to think of them!

All three will get you to your desired destination of “speaking success-ville” – so long as you meet the requirements/play your part well (your fare, abide by the set guidelines etc). During the “flight”, the seat you have will determine how much personal service attention and preference the provider will accord you. It’s that simple :-)

So, make your choice:1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Send me an e-mail with your questions via tayo at tksola dot com. In the meantime, why not get started by subscribing here to get his 7-Part Course (How To Succeed And Get Paid As A Professional Speaker) .  . . and receive his monthly newsletter (Speaking Biz Strategies Letter) at no cost.

Have a lovely week!

Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist

*Sole Agent For Burt Dubin’s Speaker Mentoring Service In Africa

Mobile: 234-803-302-1263

http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com

Tayo Solagbade is a Performance Improvement Specialist & multipreneur. He works with individuals/businesses who want to achieve highly profitable outcomes, and also with parents who want to raise real-world competent children.

Tayo earns multiple streams of income providing clients with performance improvement training/coaching, custom MS Excel-VB solutions, web marketing systems, freelance writing services, and best practice extension support services (for farm business owners).

When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Self-Development Nuggets™ blog, and Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter (which he publishes to promote Burt Dubin’s Public Speaking Mentoring service to experts working across the African continent).

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Get mentored by Burt Dubin - coach of some of the world's highest paid public speakers

For over 25 years, Burt Dubin has provided a variety of speaker mentoring products and services to clients worldwide.

Download this flyer as PDF: http://tinyurl.com/bdubin-africa

Burt Dubin now offers his speaker mentoring service to experts based in Africa. Click now to download this flyer as PDF

Earn EXTRA Income Using Your Writing Skills As A Contract Resource Person

There are times when I think some of us freelance writers suffer from a little bit of tunnel vision when it comes to exploring ways to make money using our writing skills. I get this impression most often from reading blog posts and website articles discussing the same income earning avenues/strategies over and over again.

Sometimes we need not just to think outside the box, but to get rid of the silly box completely!

Before I ever came up with a strategy that successfully got clients to pay me to write articles for them, I’d already earned reasonable income in certain unusual ways using my writing skills. One example: as a contract resource person.

Who (or What) Is A Contract Resource Person? (A True Story of How I Became One)

Think of her as one who offers ready-to-use services needed by busy, results-focused persons in specific fields. I’ve functioned as one few times.

Well …maybe I should rephrase that a bit…

Certain clients have hired me to be a contract resource person a few times in the past. But in each instance, I never saw it coming.

In fact I even told one person I did not offer such a service – until he pointed out to me the fact that I had the skills to give him what he wanted. And then he added that he was convinced I could do it satisfactorily!

Here’s how it happened: I had just handed over a new website I built for this environmental services consultant client. During the four week period we worked together, he’d commended me on my typing speed, as well as my ability to quickly grasp new concepts in previously unfamiliar fields like his.

A week afterwards, he visited me at home to request that I help him produce an electronic/digital searchable version of a massive paper-based three volume document used by an oil services client company of his (using my typing and custom MS Excel-VB development skills).

When I started to object, he explained that he’d already assured the company that he had a resource person who could deliver the solution to specification.

I argued that despite what he’d referred to as my quick learning ability, I was not competent to produce such a highly technical document for use at that high profile level. He countered that he would guiide me all the way, and that he was prepared to pay handsomely to secure my full committment (I had another web design project in hand that he was aware of – but which was not due for another forthnight).

At that point, I wisely chose to stop objecting and start negotiating :-)

The plan was to deliver the finished electronic version in 10 working days. Before he left, he wrote me a 100% advance payment cheque in six fugures to the tune of the exact amount I requested, so I could start work the next day.

Talk of a massive vote of confidence!

I made sure that job came out as promised, to the right standard. He was pleased, and I was happy with what I’d earned in 10 days of work. I also came away with knowledge of another way to use my skills that I had never thought of previously. See how we sometimes limit ourselves by the way we think?

Burt Dubin once said to me (in an email conversation) that "customers teach us the business". My experiences convince me he’s right. Like I said above, the opportunities I got came with no direct effort on my part. The client simply studied me based on my promotional materials and our interactions, and concluded I would be useful to him in that area.

Hopefully, now I’ve gotten your attention. It’s time to consider the fact that there are other areas you have not yet looked at, that could hold useful income earning promise for you as a freelance writing professional.

As Freelance Writers, Most People Traditionally Offer Services That Include The Following:

i. Books: You probably offer ghostwriting, editing, proofreading, electronic transfer of manuscripts, cover designs, as well as manuscript formatting etc.

ii. Websites: You may also specialize in writing/editing web content or, even critique evaluations of clients’ websites content.

iii. Articles: You likely also offer writing of articles for online (e-zine, websites, blogs) and offline (magazines, newspapers etc) publications owned by clients.

But You Can Also Deliberately Position Yourself To Get Hired As A Contract Resource Person

How? By announcing the fact that you are! Offer to work with clients or prospects to help them make their events or outings more successful for instance. Maybe she’s planning a learning programme on Achieving Continuous Interpersonal Effectiveness for new entrants (e.g. Graduate Management Trainees) into her corporation.

Let’s assume a domestic emergency occurs close to the planned event day, in a way that makes it difficult for her to prepare adequately.

As her Contract Resource Person, she could call you in at short notice, to prepare (and even deliver) a paper/talk with true stories or anecdotes that spice up the event, get participants more involved and most importantly equip them to do better on their jobs.

That’s just one way of going about it though. If you’re not the outgoing type, and want to stick with your work from home operational mode, ample opportunities exist for you to do that as a Contract Resource Person.

Note that the idea is that your existing clients, and their contacts, as well as prospects may periodically develop a sudden, unexpected and possibly urgent need for a one-off solution they’re not fully equipped or prepared to handle.

And they would welcome someone with a ready solution to that problem. If you hone your skills in the areas you are sure you can deliver, you’ll be able to make the most of opportunities like this when they show up.

To Attract Offers, Position Yourself As Competent And Credible

Presenting yourself as competent and credible applies not just to being a resource person. It’s a useful rule in every area of business…and life in general.

In my case, the clients simply came and offered me the work. Prior to that time, I had never thought of getting work from them in that manner, even though we had previously done (or met to discuss) business.

People tend to take decisions based on trust. When they trust you to be competent and reliable, they are often more willing to depend on you for solutions. And that includes those solutions you do not offer them directly – even when someone else they know does offer them!

The manner in which you position yourself can make people come up with ideas about how you can help them, that YOU have not even thought of. And that’s why it’s important to learn to take things in your stride an entrepreneur. Otherwise you’ll miss great chances to corner unexpected but decent – and legitimate – extra income!

Below, I’ve Outlined A Few Areas In Which You Could Offer Yourself As A Contract Resource Person (Based On My Experiences/Achievements):

1. Speech Writing For Busy Persons: I believe most writers can take their careers and income earning abilities to a whole new level by becoming speakers.

But if you prefer not to speak, consider helping those who do, to prepare their speeches, for a fee. You can quickly and easily write up content for a client’s impending speech. The client could be a business owner who received a request to speak at a social event or function, but is (like many people) unsure of what to say, and probably also terrified of speaking in public.

She would only need to give you details of the topic/theme and access to all the relevant information/materials. And you would come up with a ready-use-speech for the occasion. If she’s scared of speaking in public, and you’re competent in that area, offer to give a coaching session or crash course along with the writing service.

If she successfully gets through the event, you can be sure she won’t forget you in a hurry – paid service or not!

TIP: You could aim to become a go-to person for emergency speech writing services, you know :-)

2. Training Course Modules & Technical Documentation Preparation: This includes technical/training manuals preparation.For instance, a client may have a proprietary training programme she wishes to package formally as a branded learning system.

If you have the relevant skills, this can earn you substantial extra income. And if you do it well, there’s a good chance her network of associates could develop an interest in your services.

In addition, training and business schools may also find this kind of service time/cost-saving in the production of needed documentation for their numerous courses. 

You could also consider offering services that deliver prepared materials for any of the following:

a. factory machines operations and engineering maintenance training documentation/trouble shooting guides.

b. Management Training Courses

c. Computer Education courses e.g. written training or instructional guides for use of off-the-shelf software like MS Office products etc.

Final Words – This Could Be A Complementary Income Earner For You

For most of the above, only after I’d provided the requested service did I consider formally adding them to my portfolio. But I’ve since found that they are not necessarily often in demand.

Those who sometimes need them often have in-house resources who handle such jobs on a routine basis. But when they’re over stretched or not available, external providers (like you and I) are brought it to pick up the slack.

These kinds of solutions are needed by a select few, who happen to be prepared to pay well to get them. That’s why it’s important to position yourself right – and also be prepared. You could choose to see this contract resource service provision (like I do) as a side business that can bring in useful additional revenue every now and then. At least that’s my approach.

If you’d like to get more steady flow of such work however, it would be up to you to find a niche market that needs those kinds of solutions on a regular basis, and make them an attractive offer.

One good example: Seminar, workshop and conference meeting/event planners or organisers. Touch base with them and offer to prepare materials like the above. You never know, some useful recurring work opportunities could result from your efforts.

Good luck!

NIGERIA: New EBook for Writers Uncovers 10 Often Overlooked Habits Keeping Many from Achieving Their Writing Goals

For Immediate Release: November 10, 2012

View Tayos video tutorials and demonstrations on Facebook Productivity Tips, Web Marketing, and for his Custom MS Excel-VB driven software applicationsConnect with Tayo on LinkedIn.comConnect with Tayo on Facebook.comConnect with Tayo on Twitter.comConnect with Tayo on Google Plus

IKEJA, Lagos — As natural writing becomes more important in online marketing, smart business owners are trying to get more writing done for their websites and blogs – but many are finding it harder to keep new content coming, and this worries them.

Like Tayo Solagbade – owner of Self-Development Academy’s SD Nuggets™ blog said, “Google’s recent algorithm changes now make it possible to use your writing to achieve great marketing reach and impact online. If you’re struggling to write however, you will not be able to maximize this excellent opportunity to achieve timeless marketing exposure at low to zero cost.

This problem can however be dispelled by “Why You Keep Failing To Achieve Your Writing Goals!” (Self-Development Academy – http://www.sdacademy.org), a new ebook which identifies ten habits holding most writers back, and how to eliminate them.

Click here to get a FREE 2 Chapter Preview

Andrea Ayemoba (editor at Africabusinesscommunities.com) said “(It is) a rare blend of great information and good humour, Tayo talks to his readers as opposed to instructing them.

Tayo Solagbade, the author, is a performance enhancement specialist and multipreneur (http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com) whose ten years of multidisciplinary experience writing for clients – in real estate, audiology, interior design, entrepreneurship, farm business, web marketing, public speaking, and career development – enabled him identify the habits he describes.

Many usually assume writer’s block is responsible for their inability to write. The truth is that 99% of the time, the reasons you struggle to write have to do with something(s) YOU are doing wrong…or that YOU need to do differently. Once you get that right, you’ll be amazed at the output you’ll achieve” said Solagbade, who publishes a minimum of one blog post daily – on six different categories.

As Solagbade describes each habit, readers will:

  • Learn why having a Magnificent Obsession is crucial to writing success
  • Discover simple strategies for overcoming the so-called writer’s block
  • Understand how being “too organised” can make their writing less productive
  • Appreciate how a physical exercise regimen can double their writing output
  • Be given practical tips to stop procrastinating about their writing goals

As Solagbade said “The problem with ‘writing’ is that it can seem so easy to do – and only after getting into it, do most business owners discover a different reality. This ebook provides useful guidance to any writer faced with that challenge.

The ebook includes a download link to a detailed bonus report titled “6 Proven Techniques (and 9 Strategies) You Can Use To Start & Finish Writing ANYTHING!

While there are many books providing writing advice, Solagbade – who is also the author of the Self-Development (SD) Bible™ & Livestock Feed Formulation Handbook – uncovers simple but frequently overlooked causes of writing failure, and suggests practical strategies to overcome them.

This is a magnificent piece of writing” said Burt Dubin, Creator of the Speaking Success System (http://speakingsuccess.com)

free 2 chapter PDF preview can be downloaded from the SD Nuggets™ Blog at http://www.sdacademy.org.

CONTACT:
Tayo Solagbade
7 Adesina Close, Ojodu,
Ikeja, Lagos – Nigeria
Tel: 234-803-302-1263
Email: tayo@tksola.com

# # #

Getting Your Kid to Drop a Bad Habit: A Proven Strategy Parents Can Use (True Story)

Parents need to pay close attention to the study habits of their children, so as to quickly detect and correct any wayward tendencies. Many times getting teenagers to do the right thing can be difficult. Children in this age group can be particularly headstrong and opinionated.

Resorting to physical punishment to effect a change in their behaviour can however produce negative reactions in the children. A better way exists, to correct the child’s errant behaviour without turning him against you.

In this post, I share the true story about how I discovered my son’s bad handwriting habit, and eventually helped him remedy it, without employing painful physical punishment.

Discovering the Problem

Looking back now, it’s obvious to me that if I had been paying as much attention as I’d originally planned, I would have noticed it. But I got carried away with showing him and his siblings the exciting world outside school, in my bid to give them a balanced education.

Then one morning, as he was preparing for school, one of his notebooks fell open. I saw the careless scribble of mostly unrecognizable letters of the alphabet, and was horrified. The look on his face was however one of indifference. “What’s the matter?” he asked. “You’re actually asking me that, when your handwriting looks like that?” I replied, pointing at his open notebook. “We’ll talk about this when you get back.” I ended.

That night I went through the notes he had been taking in class and discovered the same problem of very poor handwriting in all of them.

It was so bad that I could not recognise most of the words he had written. He was doing many things wrong. For instance, he painted over most letters in the words he wrote, making a mess on almost every page with ink. He also wrote with total disregard for sentence case. Capital letters popped up in the middle of words in a particular sentence at random.

When I asked him to read what he had written, he barely managed to get through one sentence. In other words even he, the writer, had difficulty reading what he had written. I could not believe he had let his handwriting deteriorate that badly!

My First Attempt at Correcting the Problem…Fails!

As I thought about it, I realized there was a big problem. If he could not read what he had written, there was no way his teacher would be able to do so, talk less of scoring him accurately. In other words, he would be doomed to failure if he took an exam.

I needed no one to tell me what to do. It was obvious that I had to intervene. This was the role a parent was required to play, to correct any child’s deviation from the desired path.

And so I told my 13 year old teenage son that I wanted him to start paying attention to his handwriting while copying the teacher’s notes on the board. Telling him anecdotes about people who lost marks for writing illegibly, I tried to impress upon him the need to take more care in writing, so he would be able to read his notes conveniently after classes.

He nodded in understanding (or so I thought), and I congratulated myself for having been so effective in getting him to realize what he needed to do :-)

What I forgot was that with children, especially teenagers, very often what you tell them goes in one ear and comes out the other, without making a lasting impression on them.

They have a very short attention span – especially for things they find boring e.g. parental “lectures” :-) And that’s why – as my mother (a 30 year veteran Montessori trained teacher) always reminds me – you have to repeat everything to them, and check for compliance regularly, UNTIL they get used to doing it without supervision.

I’m getting better at doing the repeating and reminding thing now. But back when this handwriting incident occurred, I was still learning. So, a few days later when I checked my son’s notebooks, I found that nothing had changed. He was still writing terribly!

I Remember My Handball Coach’s Corrective Strategy

At this point I considered resorting to physical punishment to get him to sit up e.g. spanking. But then I remembered that I’d decided to reduce the use of physical punishment to instruct my kids i.e. to prevent them associating learning with pain.

Then I recalled a method used by our state handball coach – back in Kwara state – during training sessions. He would split us into two teams and get us to compete against ourselves. Any player who made an avoidable error would automatically cause his entire team to repeat the move being practiced. And this would continue until each team got it right without making a single error.

The above coaching strategy proved quite effective in getting even the most playful or unruly team members to sit up. No one wanted to get blamed (and temporarily hated) for making the others do more hard training than necessary. The result was that we became a well oiled team capable of executing most of our moves with little or no errors.

Adapting My Coach’s Strategy Produces Results!

To help my son, I realized I needed an adaptation of the coach’s strategy to get him to take writing properly more seriously. So, I called him for another chat, and told him to re-write all his notes from scratch, but this time taking pains to write legibly, and avoiding any errors.

He immediately got moody and groaned outwardly saying “But I can read what I’ve written”. I replied “If you can – which I doubt – I cannot, and neither, I’m sure, can your teacher. How do you expect to get good marks if your teacher cannot read your writing?” He left for his room grumbling about how we never let him rest etc.

As the week progressed, I would periodically ask to see his re-copied notes. Whenever I discovered even ONE painted letter, or wrong use of capitalization, I simply asked him to go back to the beginning and start writing it all over again. The first time I told him to do it, he thought it was a joke…until I hissed at him saying “Get going…I’m serious.

By the end of that week he had become quite sober, and showed a lot of eagerness to do it right. But old habits die hard. Every now and then he still brought me notes with the outlawed errors in them, and I promptly rewarded him with “Go and write it all again!

And we kept doing it over and over, and over. His siblings poked friendly fun at him, which he did not find funny. After a while, especially when he saw I would not relent he became sober, and more focussed. Gradually, over time, he changed.

Today, his handwriting is so much better, compared to what it used to be. But there’s still room to improve. It’s ironic to also note that he now brags about how well he can write, to his siblings! I look back and I realise that if I had failed to take timely corrective action the way I did, the boy may not have recovered from the problem. And his performance in virtually every subject would have suffered even worse outcomes in the future.

Final Words

Judging from the experience I’ve gained from coaching my four kids (ages 13 to 7) on different aspects of their class work, I believe the method described above can be quite useful in getting them to show seriousness.

Therefore, if you’re looking for ideas for getting your kid(s) to drop an unhealthy habit, I urge you to try using the strategy described in this post. It might just be the solution you need!

Ten Ways You Can Use Self-Development To Become A High Flyer At Work

Many people have no idea there is an almost scientific method they can employ to achieve their personal or work-related goals, repeatedly and consistently. Organisations on their part fail to acknowledge their limits when it comes to getting improved productivity from their employees. No matter how hard it tries, a company cannot develop its employees significantly.

Peter Drucker, in The Practice of Management (Heinemann, 1955), said taking responsibility for development of employees would be “foolish pretension”. I agree. The truth is, only the employee can develop herself. Get her to strive willingly, and perpetually to become better on the job, and she will deliver greater productivity that you could ever pay for!

The organisation only needs to encourage and facilitate diligent practice of Self-Development(SD) by employees. For those not in paid employment, the diligent practice of SD offers equally beneficial prospects. That’s why I assure you, that you can develop yourself to be able to repeatedly deliver superlative performances that will inevitably result in success for you in any chosen area of endeavour.

How? By applying the “Ten Ways” described in this article, the way I will show you.

(This post was originally published as an article based on excerpts from Tayo Solagbade’s 113 page Self-Development Bible print manual – see cover below this post – titled “Ten Ways You Can Use Self-Development To Create The Future You Want” on sale at www.lulu.com/sdaproducts .

THE FIRST (1st) WAY – DEVELOP A MAGNIFICENT OBSESSION

Your magnificent obsession would be your ambition in life – I like to call mine (people development and empowerment) “my reason for existing”. It will be something that dominates your thoughts relentlessly, day and night. You think about it so frequently that at a stage “it” takes “you” over begins to fuel your drive to achieve it. It is that thing which if achieved would make you confirm to a reporter interviewing you on your death bed that you have – in your opinion – lived a fulfilled life, and have no regrets about some other thing(s) you could have given a try, or done better!

Ask yourself what it is that you would gladly do for 24 hours a day, seven days a week etc even if you did not get paid to do it. What is it that gets you excited in the pit of your stomach every time you think about it? Whatever you come up with – if you’re honest with yourself – is most likely to be your magnificent obsession. You might have to think long & hard about this. It could take some people one day to discover theirs, and others a year. Some will even find that they’ve always known – so the discovery could be more or less instant!

Set a goal that reflects your life ambition (You have to think long & hard about this!). And make sure it is a “stretch” goal i.e. one that’s challenging but achievable. Your goal must be aligned to your organisation’s to avert possible conflict with your responsibilities at your workplace when you begin implementing your plan. It becomes a bit more difficult working towards implementing a plan when there is little at your workplace that has anything to do with the plan and/or its achievement. Someone said you must always “hit the ground running” in the morning when you wake up. I believe one needs to get to the point where if you waste one hour of your time, you actually feel as bad as (if not worse than!) if you had lost a significant amount of money. When you get to that point, you are not likely to joke with the time you have set aside to achieve your goals/objectives.

NB: In my new ebook titled “WHY YOU KEEP FAILING TO ACHIEVE YOUR WRITING GOALS!“, the importance of having a Magnificent Obsession is emphasized. Click here to request a 2 chapter PDF preview (the download links will be sent to you instantly).

Click here to get a FREE 2 Chapter Preview

THE SECOND (2nd) WAY – TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Recognise (even “Beware of”!) the power of your relationships. Who is the “friend” you spend your quality time with? What tangible/positive benefits accrue to you from the relationship? You must be honest with yourself. If you find that you have friends who often leave you feeling that you have “lost a significant amount of money” (remember the FIRST way?) by spending your quality time with them, then you need to review your relationships with such persons.

In certain cases, you might need to gently/tactfully “break” some relationships. To be a friend to (or favourite of) everyone, you would have to be a “hypocrite”. Everyone cannot like you – the sooner you accept that fact in your mind the better prepared you will be to deal with the issue of controlling the relationships you keep. If you find that a friend/colleague is not prepared to respect your need to focus and work towards achieving your magnificent obsession, then you need to review your relationship with that person.

Your friendships/associations have an immensely powerful influence on your mental attitude, which in turn determines how effectively you can work towards achieving any set goals or objectives. I am personally quite deliberate in the way I cultivate relationships with others. I also believe anyone who wants to set and achieve personal or workplace targets needs to be that way to ensure he/she achieves perpetual success.

Be prepared to be lonely. Believe in yourself. Don’t let others impose their limitations on you. You need to EMANCIPATE YOUR THINKING™. By this I mean you should never let others impose their opinions or limitations on you. Many people are afraid of expressing divergent opinions from others, because they do not want to be criticised for thinking differently from everyone else. Many people are afraid to stand out from the crowd.

“You don’t need anyone’s permission to succeed” – Dan Kennedy.

THE THIRD (3rd) WAY – BECOME AN ANT!

Focus, determination and perseverance are three (3) key qualities considered essential for success in any area of endeavour. A person with focus knows what he wants, and has his mind set on getting it. One who is determined will not be put off by discouragements or temporary setbacks. The person who can persevere will not give up trying until he/she has achieved a set objective.

Perseverance – according to great achievers like Thomas Edison is the most crucial. Edison actually called it: “stick-to-it-iveness“. Considering that he chose to continue his work despite many thousand failures, one can appreciate how he can be so sure about this.

If you have ever tried to stop an ant without killing it, you will know that the ant exhibits these qualities quite well in the way it responds to obstacles in its path (I actually got this “ant’ analogy from a one-chapter exclusive book bonus I read in a Success Digest magazine years ago). No matter what you do (except you kill it), you cannot stop an ant from trying again and again to get around, go over or under whatever obstacle you put in it’s path. Put the ant in a sealed jar and it will keep moving everywhere, searching for a way out, till it eventually drops dead. Ants provide a perfect example of focus, determination and perseverance at work.

Just imagine if you as a human being were to adopt the “ant” attitude to challenges and setbacks/ disappointments that you encounter in trying to achieve your goals. You would become virtually unstoppable!

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“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence; Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful individuals with talent. Genius will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent” – Ray Kroc (Founder of McDonalds) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE FOURTH (4th) WAY – LEARN PATIENCE & LEARN FROM EXPERIENCES

Patience is a virtue that carries a lot of WAIT”. The foregoing “definition” of patience was given in a bible study guidebook I read back when I was in the university. Often times people do not want to wait long before they begin seeing the results for effort they put into doing anything.

It is important that you avoid falling into the trap of wanting to “accelerate” the process of achieving your set objectives by adopting “unhealthy” habits/methods that require you to compromise your integrity. That does not mean you should not set challenging “target dates/times” in which you wish to achieve your goals! All I’m saying is that you ensure that you do not compromise your integrity by cutting corners in trying to do so. (Learning to type – how long should it take?)

It is imperative that you become a conscious learner from your (and other people’s) experiences. This means you will consciously and deliberately go out of your way to acquire relevant/useful knowledge or skills from every experience you (or others you have the opportunity to observe) are exposed to, and then apply same towards achieving your set goals.

The British Institute of Management in a major report on “Management Mobility and Redundancy” admonished the “prudent manager” to regularly evaluate her knowledge status as relates to her job, and take action to ensure it is updated to not just stay in touch with latest developments in her field(s) of interest, but also prepare her for the challenges of the future.

THE FIFTH (5th) WAY – SEEK NEW/DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES

Actively seek opportunities to learn something new. Never be afraid of the unfamiliar. The trouble is that oftentimes people fail to realise they need to get to know other areas of work/life outside those they are already familiar with (i.e. their “comfort zones”). Ironically, doing this is often to their advantage, since they better understand how others do their work, the problems they face etc.

Don’t make the mistake of not wanting to get picked for “difficult” jobs. Some people think they are being smart when they deliberately “dodge”(or reject) being asked to champion projects considered high profile and/or risky (in the sense that such project’s success/failure is crucial to the company’s future). This is a big mistake. The assumption that handling a project that eventually “fails” will lead to your looking “bad” could not be more wrong.

Many times those giving you the assignment have considered your background and experience, and are well aware of your limitations. Sometimes they send employees on major/”risky” project assignments for developmental reasons. Successful execution in such a case will not usually be the focus. Instead, it would be the evidence of learning that the employee takes away from such an experience.

Every time you get to handle a new project, champion a new initiative or do something really new/different, it is an invaluable opportunity to widen your knowledge and area of expertise. It is also a perfect opportunity to show what you can do – while virtually everyone is watching (since you will be in the spotlight – something that might not happen often). As a result, you will have more depth and become able to interact more widely than if you never had to do such a job. Be grateful when things go wrong. It is often another opportunity to learn (Re: Sept. 11 crisis).

THE SIXTH (6th) WAY – WIN-OVER “DIFFICULT COLLEAGUES/BOSSES

One fact of life: everyone cannot like you. Even Nelson Mandela who enjoys a lot of goodwill across the world today has some people who do not like him or cannot get along with him! That is the way the world is. For anyone to think otherwise would amount to him/her being unpardonably naive! I sometimes refer to the 6th way as “Doing something you dislike!” – because I believe that in going through life, we will periodically have to relate with those people we do not like or get along with. How we handle that situation when it does occur, is a crucial determinant of our success (or otherwise) in any area of endeavour we might choose.

To work successfully with someone you do not like/who does not like you. For the time you have to work with this person, put aside (I did not say give up) your biases – be they religious or otherwise – and interact with him/her based on the issues arising from the work you have to do together. Give your unreserved, active and positive cooperation towards getting the job done. Once the project has been successfully completed, you can then go back, and “pick up” your biases and reservations about him/ her again!

This way, you would have shown that you are capable of working successfully with anyone, in any team, and by so doing live up to your commitments as an employee to give your service to the level/quality that justifies the salary you get paid. Anything less would be unacceptable, and could actually jeopardise your career prospects in the company. Ultimately, you would do well to find a way to get along successfully, with such persons. Read Dale Carnegie’s “How to win friends and influence people” to get practical, workable ideas on this.

“Enemies test our ability to feel compassion, and strengthen us in doing so” – Dalai Lama.

THE SEVENTH (7th) WAY – BECOME A “STUDENT” IN UHK

Wake up – there’s a bigger world out there! Too many people bury themselves in their jobs oblivious to the fact that another world exists outside their “workplace”, or around them. They are insulated from the realities of the real world by their company’s provision of comfortable benefits. You need to get into the UHK (University of Hard Knocks – aka “The Real World”), and learn what it takes to survive out there – while you still have time. You will not remain in paid employment forever, and chances are your retirement benefits may not last the rest of your years on earth.

In the real world you WON’T get paid for work you do not do! The real world is where you don’t get paid until you given 100%(or more) of the product or service you promised. Many people in paid employment today continue to demand to be paid more for doing less work! Think about it. Some people go through a whole week (or month/year) without doing anything more than their jobs’ basically demand (sometimes they don’t even do up to that!), secure in the knowledge that come rain or sun, their salaries would be paid. That’s why Robert Kiyosaki says in one of his books that salary earners do not earn money – instead they actually receive “handouts”.

The real world demands that you prove yourself worthy of every reward you get. You must sow before you reap. Only in paid employment is this law disregarded. And that’s why when many people retire from well paying jobs, they are unable to adjust to surviving in the real world where they find that (contrary to what obtains in paid employment), just putting in minimal effort does not result in multiple fold income returns.

Start living in the real world today. Get your spouse and/or kids to do the same. Begin to manage your spending more consciously for instance. Many in paid employment – if asked – would be unable to account for money they spent 24 hours earlier. This is because they often spend with the “assurance” of another inflow of salary to replace whatever they spend. My advice: Get a notepad where you enter detailed records of every kobo you spend, from today.

THE EIGHTH (8th) WAY – STOP WORRYING AND START LIVING!

Worrying is part of being human. But we have the ability to CONTROL it. Many things can cause a person to worry e.g. financial difficulties. Sometimes we become so worried by certain things that we let them affect our behaviour or performance elsewhere. This is not only avoidable but also often potentially harmful if not quickly checked.

Why let an argument with your spouse at home turn you into a “grouch” or incompetent person at work? Why let that negatively affect your ability to do your job/relate with people you meet at work? Doing that will only worsen your predicament because your problems eventually increase in number. You upset other people and get yourself even more worried!

Jim Rohn’s “Wherever you are, be there” to me, means leave that domestic problem at home, and face your job at work squarely or be yourself wherever else you go soon as you leave home. Do your job/relate with others as well as you would have – or even better than – if you did not have a problem at home. (This requires a lot of mental discipline and effort, but you will find it’s worth it).

When you get back home, you can then continue trying to resolve the home front problem. That way, you will be able to lead a normal life in all other areas of your life and eventually, that could even help you focus better to sort out the problem on the home front – and vice versa. Fail to do this, and your problem will assume multiple dimensions since you will allow it spill over to, and negatively affect other aspects of your life.

Control your thoughts! Some of us tend to worry about what “people” say (or will say) about us. But you can never know who is going to do that to you next – or when (except you’re psychic!). So, why not keep doing what you do as well as you can and steer them away from the negatives that will cause you to worry. Sooner or later, you’ll be vindicated through your work/actions.

THE NINTH (9th) WAY – CLONE YOURSELF™

Become a coach/people developer. Share what you know with those who lack such knowledge. That will actually make you bigger (not smaller) in the eyes of others. To experience rapid career advancement, you must make out time to coach and develop others. That way you increase the chances of moving on/up when the opportunity comes. I like to ask people the following questions: “How can you get promoted from your current job if no one else has the competence to do it?”. And how will anyone else learn how to do that job quickly enough, if you don’t make the effort to train/coach those around you to the required competence level?”

You are in the best position to know what is needed to do your job as well as you do it. That means you will be best placed to find/develop others – subordinates, colleagues etc to do it while you’re away on leave, secondment – or when you get promoted!

Unfortunately, many people fail to realize this. In our country, people generally seem to believe that sharing what they know actually amounts to giving up the “edge” they have over others. You must realise that sharing with another person even to the extent that he/she becomes better than you, would actually be evidence of your success in another dimension – for which you should feel proud! You cannot be the champion all the time. Sometimes you have to be the champion’s coach – which is even better!

While trying to help others grow, you might encounter some relatively “slow learners”. Be patient. Avoid giving up on people. Never conclude that a person does not have what it takes to do something. People should be given as many opportunities as possible to improve – so long as they are still willing. We should play our role by offering support, advice, encouragement etc all through the process. Those you help up the ladder today will turn round to pull you up to success in future!

THE TENTH (10th) WAY – BE HUNGRY AND STAY HUNGRY™

Make sure your cup is never full! One can never stop learning. For as long as a person remains alive, he/she will find that there’s always something new to learn. Some people believe that the need for them to “learn” ended when they graduated from the university. What a pity! Anyone who thinks like that is destined to remain an underachiever all through his/her life!! Comparing yourself to those around you who are not up to your level does not prove that you have not underachieved. Don’t fool yourself. You are an underachiever if you do not maximize your fullest potential, by perpetually striving to improve/become better in every facet of your life!

If things get tough, you can retreat, not to surrender, but to refocus before trying again. Maybe a particular method you employ fails. You then follow the rules by being an Ant™: so you keep going right back, doing exactly what you did before each time, making adjustments. Unfortunately, you still might not succeed. At that point, it might not be a bad idea to take a step back and analyse your situation to be sure that your adopted method is the most appropriate/suitable.

Finally, the journey to success is never-ending. Your journey to success should not end. No matter how successful you become, there will always be something new to learn/do better. You therefore need to stay focused on becoming better than you are now or today. There’s nothing wrong with celebrating your successes – just don’t begin to think you’ve done all there is to be done.

Remember always, that someone, somewhere, will have done (or can do!) more than you have. More importantly, remember that you are on a “never-ending journey of learning, discipline, work and the pursuit of even higher knowledge and standards. “You must always hit the ground running when you wake up in the morning. So, Be Hungry and Stay Hungry™!

“Success is a journey, not a destination” – Arthur Ashe

Is It RIGHT To Do Wrong, So As To Fulfill FAMILY Obligations?

[This post is based on excerpts from an original piece that was published online by Tayo Solagbade as a PDF download on his Facebook profile on 9th May 2012]

No. Under NO circumstances is it right, to do wrong, in order to fulfill one’s obligations. Any thinking being knows this. Yet, some do it.

I elaborate below, and offer some insights.

Over the past ten years, I have come across what appears to be an increasing number of people (adults) who are prepared to completely discount their morals and values, if doing so will secure material and financial gratification they seek.

The Values System I Was Raised To Uphold Is The Opposite

Recently, I posted the following on my Facebook wall:

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WARPED VALUES:To prove he is a man, he joins in the un-godly (and dishonest) practices of giving bribes, issuing inflated invoices etc, to win jobs. When his "friend" tells him it’s not right, he retorts that it’s impossible to beat the corrupt system – AND that he will not let himself be thought of as being incapable of providing for his family. Yet, he tells his kids: "With God, All Things Are Possible!" – and routinely makes them attend religious worship with him.
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The above is based on my personal experiences and observations. Many people who ordinarily would never have stooped to corruption, were driven to it because of the kind of reasoning stated above.

In many cases, their spouses got to a point, at which they could no longer endure the hardship arising from their husbands trying to stay honest and upright in their business dealings.

So the wives began to pressure them, by pointing out how others were doing it, and getting on quite well. Eventually, the husbands succumbed and joined the growing army of irresponsible monsters who now do almost anything to get money, even if it means denying others what is theirs, in the process.

Nothing I’m Saying Here Is New…

Tunde Fagbenle, the Sunday Punch Newspaper Columnist regularly provides entertaining references that prove what I’m saying is true.

Crooked minded and lazy people now exist in the majority in certain climes, and naturally want things done their way. Any person they discover to be unwilling to play the game instantly becomes a threat that must be neutralized. So, they setup a system that greatly minimizes the chances that non-conformists can make meaningful headway in society, unless they join the party.

For the single or unmarried individuals, the challenge tends to be less traumatizing. However, for those who are married, and some who even have kids to provide for, this situation presents a formidable obstacle.

How do you explain to your wife, that your kids will not be able to eat or attend school, because your unwillingness to bribe or over invoice your way to win contracts, means you will not earn enough to meet those obligations?

What do you do, when your child is ill and badly in need of medication, at a time when your long overdue payment from a client company, is being delayed, because you refused to grease the palm of the man to release the payment?

Will your spouse understand why you can no longer accept insultingly low payments offered by exploitative clients – even when she badly needs cash to sustain the home front?

How do you carry on, when – for instance – your spouse constantly rains insults on you for being incapable of meeting your financial obligations as a husband and father?

Since you are not prepared to give in to such corrupt demands, what do you do, when you appeal to your wife to consider taking up a job to help out, and she says:

"Are you not ashamed of yourself – look at your next door neighbor. His wife does not work, and he provides for her and the kids they have. And you are here telling me I need to get a job. You cannot be serious. Who do you want to use as a slave. When you could not feed yourself, why did you get married?"

What You Need To Know – And Do

I do not know what you’re going through. But I have heard all kinds of silly logic being adduced by otherwise well educated and intelligent people who feel they cannot endure hardship any longer.

All because they are afraid to act with faith and resist the advances of unscrupulous elements that create chaos, in order to profit from it.

If you believe that the creator exists and will always support good over evil, I offer you the following philosophies that guide and immunize me against long term negative effects of adversity in ANY form. As a result, regardless of what channels it comes at me from, I stay focused and driven to achieve my set goals.

1. REAL SUCCESS IS BASED ON INTEGRITY: As long as I am not lazy, and I work hard, intelligently and honestly, to achieve my set goals on a daily basis, I will succeed, little by little.

2. FAITH WILL SUSTAIN YOU: No matter what anyone says to my face or behind my back, I alone determine what will happen in my life, by focusing on acting with faith that the creator will see me through.

My perspective on faith is that it is NOT a religious thing. It is not some exclusive preserve of a particular religious movement. Faith can be practiced by ANY living being. I have used it many times, with great success.

3. GOOD THINGS THAT LAST, RARELY COME QUICKLY: My success may not come quickly. I may have to take baby steps, one at a time. And it might look like it’s taking too long.  However, as long as I’m NOT walking backwards, my success is inevitable. No one can stop me. Period!

4. DOING WRONG IS ALWAYS BAD: No matter how many times I see others cut corners to get what they want, I know the creator will never approve of me doing the same. There are lessons to be learnt from hardships, delays and setbacks in life – that he wants to teach me. They will equip me to stay successful when I get to the top.

5. NOTHING IS WRONG WITH A HUMBLE BEGINNING: Even if others mock me and compare me to a younger or less educated person who they claim is doing better than me, I will NEVER let that make me play catch up with anyone. Success comes in stages. My path will be different from that traveled by others. That is the way the world works – each of us is unique, and we will therefore naturally follow our unique paths in life.

6. BE WORTHY OF SUPPORT: So long as you do the above (1 to 5), never feel ashamed to ask for – and accept – help or support from trusted others. Understand that when you’re in an environment dominated by wrong doers, you’re likely to get ZERO breaks as an entrepreneur. Your counterparts in better regulated societies will often have LESS stifling circumstances to deal with.

For instance some may have access to unemployment checks and other forms of social security to protect their families. Depending on what part of the world you’re in, you may not have those "cushions".

Genuine offers of support and help from people who appreciate your honest dedication to your purpose will therefore under such a situation, be your own social security safety net. Do NOT let anyone make you feel guilty for using it!

NB: Those who succumb to the impulse (or prompting of others) to do wrong in order to support their families, fail to understand this 6th philosophy.

7. GRATITUDE: I know enough to be grateful for the gift of life, and the opportunity to go out each new day and do more to achieve my set goal. It’s a great blessing from the creator that one must acknowledge. If others choose to focus on what they do not yet have, I refuse to let them infect me their negative failure-focused mentality.

SUMMARY

The above are a few guiding philosophies that keep me tuned towards doing right all the time, even when I see people seemingly making more progress from doing wrong. I’m stronger, smarter and more fulfilled as a result.

It is worthwhile to note, that when eventually you achieve success the right and honorable way, those who gossiped about you, and/or heaped insults on you, may deny ever doing so, and turn around to announce how they also helped you!

Don’t get upset when it happens. It’s the twisted way of the world. If you feel hurt, that’s because you are not one of those who act in that manner . This makes you a superior being. Great minds like you, must appreciate that those people only play their roles, to better prepare you , for the success you are destined to achieve.

So, let them!

Final Words : This post is not a self-righteous rant. It is instead a wake up call of sorts for every responsible adult to do more of what is right and less (indeed NOTHING) of what is wrong, so as to make society progress sustainably.

Never Accept Shabby Treatment Because You Need Business!

Some people go into business under the misguided impression, that "all buyers" must be given whatever they ask for – no matter how unreasonable it is. This mindset ends up putting them at the mercy of most of the dients and customers they get. And they end up trapped in energy sapping relationships with exploitative or manipulative buyers.

In this post I suggest steps you can take to protect yourself from being shabbily treated and exploited by naughty clients that may sometimes come your way…

1. Present Yourself Right

Your dressing, composure and assertiveness will often determine how people respond to you. If you manage yourself well in those areas, you will gain credibility/respect before others. Who will believe in you if you cannot show that you believe in yourself? Don’t let anyone “pity” you or give you charity. Always keep your chin up, and be “proud” of yourself for having the guts to do something meaningful with your life.

Never let defeats, delays and temporary setbacks get you down. More often than not, they are simply channels for acquiring new insights about how to reach your goal.

You need to understand that “there is no such thing as an entrepreneur who failed but only one who gave up”. The foregoing means you can be confident that your success is “inevitable”. (Thanks to James Cook).

2. Show Enthusiasm – And Competence

“Without enthusiasm, one cannot be convincing. Moreover, enthusiasm is contagious and the person who has it, under control, is generally welcome in any group of people.” – Napoleon Hill

When you show that you are competent, and love what you do, progressive minded clients will often fall in love with you, and bring you back to do more work for them

Do NOT be like me, however. Keep in mind that you are in business to make not just money, but tangible profits. Be sure to request handsome fees commensurate with the value you plan to deliver.

In my startup years, I was so naive that I went around showing enthusiasm for my work, without thinking about getting profitably rewarded for doing it. That cost me a lot in my early years as an entrepreneur. Today, I’m much smarter – having learnt my lessons the hard way from life’s University of Hard Knocks.

3. Name Your Price and Stick With It

One of the annoying realisations I made very early on in my entrepreneurial adventure is that once you go O-Y-O (On Your Own) as an entrepreneur, some people who knew you before will immediately assume that you’ve dropped in “value” or “worth” – just like (as Kiyosaki said) the new car driven out of the car lot by its new owner.

This becomes obvious from the way they try to get you to do whatever it is you do, for them, for little or nothing. Their belief is that because you’ll be keen to quickly begin to earn some income, you’ll be unwilling to pass up such unattractive propositions, even when they annoy or irritate you.
Well,much as I knew I was going to pay the price each time this happened, I either simply ignored such people or told them what my fees were, and asked them to take it or leave it.

I once read an article titled “Name Your Price and Stick With It” in which the author advises any entrepreneur who provides service to set a profitable lower limit for his/her fees below which he would not take on a project. He added that if you do get asked by a client to lower your fees, after you have assured yourself that what you’ve proposed is the most appropriate for the job they want you to do, there’s only one thing to do.

Tell them to indicate which aspect of the job they would prefer NOT to have, so you can take that out and give them a lesser charge.

In other words, NEVER drop your fees without a reason.

Make it obvious to the prospective client, (and ensure he/she understands) that there cannot be a drop in your fees (below your set lower limit) without a corresponding drop in the scope of work you will do or the overall value they will get. When you do this, and stand your ground, they will actually come to respect you, and treat you accordingly.

If you don’t do this, your prospective clients will always push you around, waste your time, get you to do more without paying more and ultimately won’t see much reason to give you referrals to others.

If you want to successfully assert yourself in doing your business, you must be ready to refuse to be treated shabbily. It can happen once or twice, but you should also learn quickly!

On a final note, remember this:

The above ideas become even more relevant when you’re just starting up. The fact that you’re new does not mean you should present yourself as a lamb for slaughter.

More importantly, note that a prospect cannot tell that you’re experiencing slow business or cash flow shortage by looking at your face. Except you tell her, or you show up for a meeting with her looking – and acting – needy.

It is not a crime to have to build your wealth from the ground up. Others have done it before. You should be proud you have the opportunity to achieve a similar respectable outcome. There is therefore no reason to accept shabby treatment from those you want to buy from you!

Should You Quit Your Job or Start Your Business Part-time?

Click here to download this Quote-Story™ No. 1. Then study and share it with those you care about.

Click here to download the above Quote-Story™ No. 1. Then study and share it with those you care about.

FYI: James R. Cook, is a successful American entrepreneur, and author the New York Times bestseller titled “Startup Entrepreneur”. I strongly recommend you read that excellent experience based book.

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===============

Should You Quit Your Job or Start Your Business Part-time?

Preamble: The dilemma of choosing between quitting one’s job or starting up part time(while holding on to it) is one that countless entrepreneurs have had to contend with in the past. This difficulty confronts persons who are either approaching retirement or feel they do not want to continue working for someone else. Not many business ideas can be properly “tested” in the market place using “moonlighting” techniques – where an employee tries his/her hands at pursuing a fancied business career on the side, during his/her free time.

In this article I share the true story of HOW I took the decision to start my own business. I also provide insight into what others who have passed the same road did – and say. The truth however, is that no two situations are likely to be exactly the same, hence the intending startup must carefully weigh the options available in making up his/her mind. It is my hope that the reader will be able to use the ideas offered here to intelligently arrive at a decision that will facilitate the launch of a successful career in entrepreneuring.

(This article has been reviewed/slightly expanded – today 6th Nov. 2012, and is now relocated to the SD Nuggets blog, from it’s former static html page. The original version published in Apri 2006, and republished on Ezinearticles.com on Apr 03, 2006, is one of twenty-five(25) contained in Tayo Solagbade’s Ebook titled “25 Articles/True Stories On Self-Development, Entrepeneuring & Web Marketing To Help You Succeed More Often)

“No enterprise worthy of accomplishment would ever begin, if all obstacles
were first to be overcome” – Napoleon Hill

Let’s Start With My True Story – About How/Why I Did It

In attempting to help you come to your own decision about the better of the two options mentioned above(quitting your job vs. starting part-time), I will give you an insight into how I entered into the business of entrepreneuring. I start by reproducing the exact words with which I narrated the experience in an ebook I wrote back in 2003 titled “How To Help Your Child Discover His/Her Purpose In Life” (click the preceeding title/link to read an article based on the ebook).

“I struggled for over 6 years like I said trying to find out why I felt so dissatisfied working as a well paid young manager in a large, blue chip corporate multinational. Despite rapid advancement and numerous opportunities plus the promise of even better career options, I still found I was dissatisfied. So it was that right till the last 2 years of my stay as a Manager in Guinness Nigeria Plc, I continued to baffle family/friends with my frequent trips back and forth between Lagos, Benin, Ibadan, Portharcourt and other places.

I was variously following up advertisements for new jobs, opportunities for new starting up businesses, and possibility of getting admission to study overseas(I just KNEW I wanted to spend my time doing something other than the job I was being so well paid for!). I attended many seminars on wide ranging topics from manufacturing to computer/internet education etc. Then I sought out those who I heard had “made it”, and who offered themselves for consultation. I asked their advice on what to do. Slowly but surely, I began to gain insight.

Gradually the picture became clearer. Not long after – in late 1999 to be exact, I had the full picture of what I wanted to do in life clearly mapped out in my mind. But by then I was already 29 years old! Then I spent 2 whole years “preparing”(attending business startup seminars etc) before finally taking off fully! Having gone through all that, I am now thoroughly convinced that I could have done better, if only I had known much earlier that I had the option of deciding whether or not to go into paid employment.” – Excerpt from the ebook titled “How To Help Your Child Discover His/Her Purpose In Life

Now, the truth is that by the time I decided I wanted to run my own business, I was not sure exactly how I would start.

I knew I wanted to go into some form of speaking-training consultancy/educational work but I was not sure how to begin. Also, I knew that it would be useful to have a creative slant to my business offerings(building on my proficiency in custom spreadsheet programming/solutions development), so as to generate a diversified income stream. It was with these ideas in mind that I began attending all those seminars/courses over the two years before I quit my job.

I however did not just attend them and go back to my job to continue work. Being naturally action oriented, I went ahead and launched mini-versions of some business ideas I had settled for. They were Sealed Nylon Packaged Pepper production and Custom Branded T-Shirts Production (which I came up with by myself after doing some thinking). While on Annual leave, I then used practically all of my leave allowance from work, to run these micro businesses on a test basis.

It was tough, but I gave it all I had. In each case, I made little or no income, but the excitement of doing it all – printing ID cards, drafting sales letters/looking for buyers, designing T-Shirt labels, using an impulse nylon sealer to pack cartons and cartons of pepper (overnight sometimes!) served to give me some degree of satisfaction that it had been worth the trouble.

However, when I returned to work, the challenges of meeting my job as an employee soon made it obvious that I could not combine running either of the businesses with doing my salaried job. This was at a time when I was still a shift brewer, and as such had the advantage of getting off duty rest periods on weekdays, which I tried to use to pursue my micro business efforts.

By the time I was promoted in year 2000 to a normal, routine 9 – 5 job as Technical Training and Development Manager, I lost the little freedom I had left.

For close to one year, I tried to see if I could endure the change and the restrictions it had imposed on me, but soon realised that it would not work. So, I printed off and signed a fresh copy of the resignation letter I had presented to my former boss(who had rejected it back then) in 1999, while I was still a brewer , and handed it to the head(Operations Manager) of my brewery in his office on 31st October 2001(giving 2 months notice).

It’s been over four years now, since I quit my job to start my business – and I remain fully convinced that I took the right decision. This is(among other reasons) because, I have grown tremendously in ways that I could never have achieved had I still been tied to a 9 to 5 job. In addition, I look forward to doing my work on a daily basis, with an excitement much greater than any I ever felt while in paid employment. The feeling of liberation – being able to pursue what you have always dreamt of achieving beats description. The following quote I think describes what I believe I have achieved:

“Free yourselves from the shackles of corporate life” – Anon

Most people in paid employment will not be able to understand what I have said in the above paragraph.

For instance, sometime last year, I visited the office of a former senior colleague(who still works in the HR department of the company I left) to get a reference.

He told me “Many people still think you must have been mad to do what you did“. My response was along the lines of “My only regret is that I did not do it sooner!” – and I meant it.

While driving back home that day, I thought about the conversation with my HR manager “friend” and could not help feeling a bit sorry for him, because I knew from the way he said it, that he agreed with those who had questioned my sanity in quitting my job.

The sad reality however is that whether they accept the inevitable reality or not, they WILL have to go through the same process of “leaving” their jobs one day. When that happens, they will have to – like I did – “re-educate” themselves all over again to be able to survive in the real-world, outside the security of salaried jobs they have gotten used to. This is likely to happen when they retire, or have to resign.

The only difference will be that when they are starting up their own businesses, they will probably be past their prime in terms of age, maybe in their 60s. This may or many not present problems when they have to endure the adversity frequently encountered in the business startup phase.

As for me, I am glad I did it while I still had a lot of my youth on my side.

At 31, I quit a job that paid well, but made me feel unfulfilled, in order to start one that I get excited about everyday regardless of the challenges I face in doing it. If you also want to experience true happiness, you will have to do likewise i.e. follow your heart!

Interestingly, doing what you love WILL ultimately bring the ONE benefit(money!) that many people always seem to want to get first. I don’t care what any realists say. What they consider unprofitable today can become a goldmine tomorrow.

But experts will sometimes not see what you see!

WHAT PEOPLE SAID: There’s no market for it. If there were, major airlines would already be offering it. You won’t be able to find reliable couriers.” – Conclusion of advisors to Fred Smith, founder of Federal Express.

Some experts recommend going with a proven formula or model. I do not quarrel with that. But nothing new will be created or invented if everybody follows that line of thinking! We need people who will perodically follow their instincts and intuition to venture into untested business fields.

Those who will be visionary enough to see the opportunties tthat current experts are blind to. And who will be able to muster and sustain the courage to aim for business success in that area. A passion for the subject will make such individuals persist even when no immediate results are forthcoming.

Historical evidence stongly suggests that most people who do so eventually reap substantial rewards in fame, and fortune.

That’s why Marsha Sinetar said:

“Do what you love, and the money will follow” – Marsha Sinetar

A Question That Can Help You Choose A Business To Start

One of the most important questions that a person who wishes to choose a business to start needs to be able to answer is this:

What is that thing, which you would ENJOY doing for an UNLIMITED period of time, EVEN if you did not get paid to do it?

I found MY answer to that question quite easily, and that made it easy for me to continue happily working towards achieving my set goals in spite of countless rejections and setbacks. You are reading this article, at this point in time, because I chose to follow my heart and pursue my vision. You will need to do the same if you want to achieve sustainable, authentic success.

“If you don’t do what you love, you won’t have what it takes to stick with it. This lack of effort will cause you to fail. And fail big time” – Michael Boss

How Other Entrepreneurs Started Their Own Businesses

1. Quitting To Start – The Risky Way!

a. James R. Cook(Author, Startup Entrepreneur, New York Times Bestseller) did what many considered ill-advised and unthinkable. He simply quit a good job brimming with promises of career advancement. In his book, “The Startup Entrepreneur”, he explained that he did so in order to apply Napoleon Hill’s suggestions that the person desiring success “burn all bridges” – admitting that not everyone has to follow the same route as he did.

b. Henry Ford explained that after discussing with his wife, he chose to reject the offer to make him general superintendent of The Edison Company, if he stopped work on his gas engine project to focus on what they considered “more important” work. Left with no other option, he chose to leave his job(on August 15, 1899) rather than give up his automobile business idea. An interesting note added by Ford is the fact that aside from money spent on sustaining themselves daily, he and his wife put every penny they had into experimenting on the automobile, in the hope of making a breakthrough. That willingness to risk financial ruin, would later yield multiple fold returns. Every single person who drives a car today, should be grateful to this couple for refusing to quit!

c. William Lear opined that if a person is really sure about his business idea, he should mortgage every asset he owns to keep going. Using himself as an example, he explained that at one point, during a difficult time in his business, he felt like he owed more or less everyone in the country.

d. Fran Tarkenton also wrote that if you find it difficult starting your business while still in paid employment, seriously consider quitting in order to force yourself to focus better. BUT he also gives what I truly believe is a very VALID warning that in doing this: In quitting, you MUST make sure your family’s security is not jeopardised by the possibility of your business struggles, preventing you from playing your role as a parent or spouse.

2. Moonlighting -The Safe(?) Way

Some people might prefer to test their ideas on the side while they hold on to day jobs as employees. Lucky history shows that a number of people succeeded in starting their businesses this way. George Eastman for instance, who founded the Kodak company, remained in employment while he tested ideas for his film business.

I have also read articles on how Moonlighting techniques(where a person in paid employment launches a semi-entrepreneurial career on the side in his free time from work) can be successfully used by individuals keen to try out their business ideas.

In fact there is a growing trend today of people who start businesses which they engage third parties to run , while they(the owner) remain in paid employment.

So, Which Is Better: To Quit Your Job At Once, Or Start Your Business Part-Time?

In my opinion, the degree of success achievable in meeting client or customer needs by a person who starts up via moonlighting, will depend to a great extent on his/her level of commitment. This is especially because the demands of a routine 9 to 5 job can, for instance, limit a person’s ability(via late hours at work, and/or fatigue) to meet the expectations of a paying client or customer.

Then there is the issue of the type of business a person decides to startup on the side. If a person decides to start up a piggery or catfish business while employed on a full time salary job, s/he might struggle considerably to get a good feel of what it takes to manage the actual production process. A likely reason would be his/her inability to visit the farm as often as would be needed(due to day job work demands) to gain the needed “depth” of understanding. This could have implications for cost-effective and profitable operation of the business, as s/he might end up having to accept anything s/he is told by the hired hands.

Having said that, employing a competent manager to run the operation could reduce the need for worry in this area. I will however add that in the society I operate in as an entrepreneur, you would have to keep both your fingers and toes crossed at the same time, if you choose to go that way. A hint: Finding competent hands over here is one thing. Finding competent AND trustworthy ones can be another issue entirely!

But the truth about it is, no matter how long you test your business idea on the side, you will eventually have to take the plunge and launch out fully. In reality, many people never get to a point when they can muster enough courage to do that, giving various excuses. In the end, their employer helps them take the inevitable decision – and even then, they are seldom prepared!

Those Who Risk All Stand To Gain More

So, on the issue of which option is “better” , it is my considered opinion that most of those who take the “risky” route of quitting the security of their jobs, or “burning their bridges” are likely to emerge as better rounded entrepreneurs, capable of building businesses that outlast them. I say this based on my personal experiences as one who tried both approaches, and also drawing from many interactions I have had with business owners who followed the “safer” route in starting up. The mental attitude of people who belong to this latter group can be surprisingly different from that recognised as typical of persons considered to be “entrepreneurs”.

Specific scenarios include: how they see adversity(and the benefits it offers); their disposition towards risk-taking for the purpose of seizing business opportunities in the market place; and their capacity to visualise the future. In each of the three scenarios highlighted, I have repeatedly noticed that the “safe way startup” business owners frequently prefer to keep things as they are, never wanting to take any chances trying anything new – until they have seen many others do so successfully.

Seldom are they ready to be the ones leading the pack in visualising what next to do. And in some cases, there was a striking readiness to compromise their values (sometimes just “a teeny little bit”) in the face of opposition, in order to get what they wanted. This suggested the attributes of “integrity” and “persistence” were not strong points for them. I must add here that you could not easily deduce this from what they said, when invited to speak, or discuss on the subject. It was very often from the things they did – actions they took daily, yearly in relation to moving their businesses forward, that you saw real evidence of that they actually “believed”.

In contrast, many successful entrepreneurs who followed the “risky”, thorn filled path, have described how the long drawn periods of “suffering” they went through, helped them developed the “character” and “survival instincts” necessary for achievement of sustainable long term successes.

Quite a number have been described as “stubborn” or even “obstinate” – attributes which probably enabled them successfully defy adversity and opposition in the past to achieve startling successes. Entrepreneurs often believe they can always get what they want -if they stick with it long enough. Hardly will you find a true entrepreneur willing to cut corners in order to reach a valued goal. Apart from having a strong sense of integrity, the exciting prospect of defying all odds and opposition to reach the prize, would be simply too attractive for him/her to pass up.

Don’t get me wrong here! I am not implying that a person who did not quit a job or do something “risky” to start his/her business is not an entrepreneur. What I am saying is that a serious possibility exists, that those who start by holding on to the “security” of a life-line in form of a “job”, or other comforts, may end up not undergoing the full myriad of “educative” experiences needed to mature fully as entrepreneurs.

You can read my article titled Avoid Taking Lessons On Entrepreneuring From The Wrong Person(s) to learn more about why I believe NOT every business owner can be called an entrepreneur.

“You cannot acquire experience by making experiments. You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.”
Albert Camus

“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.” – Eleanor Smith

Summary – The Choice Is Ultimately Yours To Make!

From reading my story, you will find that I did make effort to try juggling my new interests with the responsibilities I had as an employee, but with little success. In order to avoid destroying my credibility in my workplace by having divided loyalty(and also to ensure that I was more efficient in the use of my time and efforts), I chose to take an honourable exit from a company I had served for seven(7) years, while the ovation was still at its loudest.

That was one of the reasons why the overall head of the brewery where I worked, was able to say/write wonderful things about me (at the send forth ceremony organised for me, even though I had only reported indirectly to him for about 11 months) including the following:

Tayo, I honestly believe you are one of those who will succeed at anything he does. Your commitment and effort has been outstanding….Thanks for all your hard work since I’ve been here – you will be sorely missed. I don’t need to wish you good luck, you have the ability to make your own luck. – Andy“(R. Jones)*

*Operations Manager, Guinness Nigeria Plc Benin Brewery, December 2001(Handwritten comments in farewell/xmas cards sent to Tayo Solagbade following his resignation to start his own business).

My study of the writings and lives of many entrepreneurs in some cases support this option(i.e. quitting your job), while others lean towards the other. It is up to you, to consider the examples provided through this article’s narration of what others have done(coupled with its analyses), and then come up with your own decision. Back to top

“Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade wind in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

To Succeed, Prepare To Grow Grey Early!

Tayo, are you getting older or younger?

That was the question my 9 year old son – S – asked me yesterday.

“Huh…What kind of funny question is that?“, I asked him, sounding a bit irritated. (If you wonder: YES, I insist that my kids call me my first name. The WHY, is a subject for a different write-up).

S had asked me that question thrice before I responded. I’d ignored him at first, because I felt he would realize I considered it a silly question from my silence.

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No. 62: To Succeed, Prepare To Grow Grey Early!

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Publication: Tayo Solagbade’s Weekly Public Speaking IDEAS Page (PSIP) Newsletter
Date: Monday 5th November 2012
No: 62
Title: To Succeed, Prepare To Grow Grey Early!
Author & Publisher: Tayo K. Solagbade [234-803-302-1263]
Blog URL: http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/blog

Archive (For E-mail only version started 14th May 2012): Click here to view
Archive (For Blog version started 24th September 2011):
Click here

Hi,

Please find below the latest issue of my weekly Public Speaking Ideas page for 2012. 

SD Nuggets Blog

New posts from last week that may interest you!
Public Speaking
[Monday]:

Entrepreneurship [Tuesday]:

Self Development [Wednesday]:

Career Development [Thursday]:

Parenting [Friday]:

Writing/Blogging [Saturday]:

General
[Monday 5th Nov. 2012]:
Want me to write for you? Click here…

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No. 62: To Succeed, Prepare To Grow Grey Early!

“Tayo, are you getting older or younger?”

That was the question my 9 year old son – S– asked me yesterday. “Huh…What kind of funny question is that?” I asked him, sounding a bit irritated. (If you wonder: YES, I insist that my kids call me my first name. The WHY, is a subject for a different write-up).

S had asked me that question thrice before I responded. I’d ignored him at first, because I felt he would realize I considered it a silly question from my silence. When he asked again, I almost accused him of being drunk, but quickly recalled that was a highly unlikely possibilityJ. And that was when I turned to ask him what exactly he meant.

Having gotten my attention, he went on to explain as follows:

Ehm, we saw a man in church last week who said he was celebrating his 40th birthday. But one lady looked at him in surprise and said ‘You’re 40, and you look so old already?’ That’s why I wanted to ask you if you’re getting younger, because you told us you’re 42 – but you look much younger than that man!

As he said this, his brothers nodded in agreement. Now, I’ll be honest here, I simply could not help bursting out in laughter as he said this. And they joined in too!

When I finally managed to regain control of myself again, I assured them I was getting no younger, and that I had no idea why I looked younger than my age suggested.

I should add that my kids were not the first – or only ones – to make the observation about my supposedly youthful looks.

I’ve actually gotten used to hearing people say “Wow, you don’t look your age” or “You haven’t changed a bit since X years ago that I last saw you”. Most of those who said this had no reason to flatter me in this manner. And many times they made those statements spontaneously.

At a point I concluded that some kind of “youthfulness” gene runs in my family. This is because my parents have also always looked younger than they really are. What’s more, they carry themselves better than most of their peers – even now.

It would appear they have passed those genes to their offspring. I say this because all my siblings display this same trait of youthfulness as well. I exaggerate not :-)

Me…As "Benjamin Button"? No way!

Certain people appear to be blessed with a kind of in-built time machine that seemingly keeps turning time backwards exclusively for them. Every time you see them, they look like they did in the photo you took of them five or ten years before.

I am sure you can think of a few people who fall into this category – possibly you do too!

If you watch movies a bit, the movie titled "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” – who aged in reverse – would probably have flashed across your mind at some point while reading the anecdotes I shared above…

If you have not watched that movie, you should. It’s an American fantasy film that was directed by David Fincher. Briefly, Button was born as an old, wrinkly, ugly looking baby who in an even more bizarre development went on to age by getting younger!

No matter what anyone tells me about how young I still look inspite of my age, one thing I’m sure about, is that I’m not ageing in that freakish Benjamin Button manner :-)

Some People Grow Grey, While Still Young!

Here’s an interesting paradox: Just as I’m being told I look younger than my age, a few silver hair strands now pop up among the black hairs that grow on my head and chin!

They do not however bother me, because when she was in her forties (and I in my twenties), my mother already had silver strands of hair mixed with the black on her head too. But she retained her youthful appearance for many years afterwards.

I think I always knew I was likely to inherit that trait from her. So, it came as no surprise when they began showing up last year, after I clocked 41. Even now, they’re hard to spot, but they’re there. I see them 😉

But What Do Ageing & Grey Hairs Have To Do With Speaking Success, Tayo?

Blame it on Burt Dubin!

He made the link in some promotional copy I read many months back as follows:

If these realities excite and inspire you, prepare for a few white hairs ahead of their time . . .” – Burt Dubin

Burt was laying down requirements for achievement of speaking success under his mentorship e.g. it is not for the faint hearted…and it certainly will not come to those seeking free rides in fancy cars (hat tip to Will Smith of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air comedy fame).

My message this week is therefore that to achieve success as a paid speaker, you MUST be prepared to do the required work. Don’t expect to have it handed to you on a platter.

Working to achieve speaking success and/or mastery will require plenty of hard work…and if you do not already have white hairs, some might just make their appearance ahead of time, as you pursue that challenging goal.

BUT, I’m sure you’ll agree that going grey prematurely, will be a small price to pay for achievement of your dream of significant speaking success!

That Brings Me to This Important Confession about My Premature White Hairs

I would really love to think the few white hairs now popping up on my head are all genetically induced.

The truth however is that I am strongly convinced a good number of them are showing up due to the point Burt made. In other words, they are the result of exerting myself to reach my cherished goals :-)

There, I said it. But what a shame it had to end…I so much enjoyed being able to claim that my early white hairs were a hereditary trait…lol!

Click here to read Burt Dubin’s Quick Facts page on Selfgrowth.com

Share this issue!

Do you know anyone who might benefit from reading this newsletter issue? Why not hit the forward button now, and send it to him/her with a short recommendation. You can also use share it via your social media channels. Thanks in advance.

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What fears or doubts are keeping you from (a) taking up Burt Dubin’smonthly speaker mentoring, or (b) buying his products?

You can choose to purchase Burt’s mentoring at any of the three (3) levels listed below:

1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Burt’s three mentoring packages can be likened to the seating options offered by airlines: Budget Delight (Economy); Mid Range (Business); and Top Shelf (First Class).

At least that’s how I like to think of them!

All three will get you to your desired destination of "speaking success-ville" – so long as you meet the requirements/play your part well (your fare, abide by the set guidelines etc). During the "flight", the seat you have will determine how much personal service attention and preference the provider will accord you. It’s that simple :-)

So, make your choice:1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Send me an e-mail with your questions via tayo at tksola dot com. In the meantime, why not get started by subscribing here to get his 7-Part Course (How To Succeed And Get Paid As A Professional Speaker) .  . . and receive his monthly newsletter (Speaking Biz Strategies Letter) at no cost.

Have a lovely week!

Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist

*Sole Agent For Burt Dubin’s Speaker Mentoring Service In Africa

Mobile: 234-803-302-1263

http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com

Tayo Solagbade is a Performance Improvement Specialist & multipreneur. He works with individuals/businesses who want to achieve highly profitable outcomes, and also with parents who want to raise real-world competent children.

Tayo earns multiple streams of income providing clients with performance improvement training/coaching, custom MS Excel-VB solutions, web marketing systems, freelance writing services, and best practice extension support services (for farm business owners).

When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Self-Development Nuggets™ blog, and Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter (which he publishes to promote Burt Dubin’s Public Speaking Mentoring service to experts working across the African continent).
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letter-to-seo

Open Letter To Intending SEO Service Providers – From Tayo Solagbade of the SD Nuggets Blog

The message below is the full text of a reply I have written to an offer from an SEO Service Provider. Once this post is published, I will send the email version to the intended recipient.

Have an enjoyable read!

Dear [Name deleted for privacy]

Thank you for your interesting SEO offer. I greatly appreciate it.

However I must tell you, that I do NOT really see myself as having “competitors” in the sense you mean.

Not going by the very unconventional way I’ve chosen to operate, anyway.

Few people in their right senses would decide to run a multidisciplinary blog like I’m doing…

Most people would rather NOT follow the path I’m treading…because it’s more work, than they might need to do, to get where they want to go.

But maybe I’ll let that become obvious, over time.

Where I come from, we have a saying, that many DIFFERENT routes can be followed to get to a market place…or destination.

You need to understand my long term purpose FIRST, before you can offer me a solution that’ll interest me.

Furthermore, to offer help to get clients top positions on SERPs…

I suggest you start by demonstrating what you can do using YOUR own website.

And be prepared to demonstate you can sustain the LONG TERM top rankings you promise potential clients, for YOUR own website.

Once that happens, you’d simply refer potential clients to your website’s glowing SERPs performance profile.

Choosing you over other SEO companies would instantly make sense for most people you approach!

Right now all you offer is a review of my website’s performance, and possibly what you say you do for others.

For me, that’s not enough.

By the way, please note here that I’m assuming ALL you’ll do will NOT break any rules set by Google and other search engines.

If that’s not the case, then we’d have nothing to even talk about :-) (Seriously)

But even if you had more “proof” to show me, I must be honest with you:

I’m not shopping for SEO services.

That is the truth. And some would think this suicidal, but I’m sure it will help me in the long term.

I have decided on a totally different approach to achieving the same goal.

It may take a while before the results show, but I am in NO hurry anyway :-)

This is not some Ninja SEO strategy. No.

I’ve simply committed myself to systematically testing (and documenting results I get from) ALL the SEO advice I keep seeing from experts online.

My aim is to identify those strategies that produce reasonably SUSTAINABLE results that will immunize my website against the “Yo-Yo” phenomenon that currently afflicts many websites’ rankings everytime Google coughs :-)

Another thing I want to do, is to find a reliable way to successfully counter Negative SEO tactics that I’ve discovered are being used against this website.

Right now, I feel like what Americans call a “Sitting Duck” because it appears some silly people with SEO know how are using massive low quality backlinks from inferior content websites to get this website penalized by Google. And I’m unable to stop them!

Such acts don’t require any special creativity. And that’s why they’re becoming quite common. The challenge for the innocent websites like mine is finding ways to prevent, detect, and remove such low quality links.

That’s a potentially full time job one should really not have to do…and a battle one may ultimately lose, if the bad guys responsible have the means and determination to keep up the attacks!

This is why I feel driven to find a more foolproof and cost-effective long term solution that gives me as much as possible, the results I want.

It is my considered opinion that my intended approach can help in establishing a strong Search Engine relevant foundation, that will protect 80% or more of any SERP visibility a website achieves.

Sounds academic?

Well, it has a potentially beneficial outcome I intend to make profitable use of over time.

So thank you for your offer, my good friend, but no thanks.

One more thing…

I don’t know about you, but I personally believe in projecting a professional image at all times. Most especially when I’m marketing to new prospects.

This is why, before now, I never took any offers sent by SEO providers via unbranded domain emails (e.g. @Gmail.com) seriously.

You did the same thing in sending this Xmas offer, but I have chosen to respond because I liked the articulate nature of your presentation.

May I however suggest, that you send out your offers henceforth, from YOUR own branded domain…Just a suggestion. It tends to inspire more trust :-)

Another reason I’m doing this reply to you, is that I intend to use it as a featured post on my blog for other intending SEO providers to (hopefully) read, BEFORE they contact me in future…just like killing more than one bird with a stone…he he..

Final Words

On a final note, I do hope nothing that I’ve said above makes me come across as being rude or arrogant.

If you have been offended in any way, be assured I never intended it…and I do sincerely apologise.

Thanks again for writing in, and I wish you continued success in your work.

With kindest regards,

Tayo K. Solagbade

End of letter

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