Self-Devpt. Nuggets™

What’s holding you back from going out and doing those things you’ve dreamt about for so long? Do you yearn to explore a new line of work, a new business, a different course of study, a new sport?

Are you afraid that having to venture into the entirely new field you’re interested in could be a difficult, painful or embarrassing experience for you? Does the thought of making mistakes, and possibly getting laughed at, or talked about bother – or terrify – you?

Well, I can assure you that many other people share similar concerns to yours. And that has been so since the earliest days of human existence.

The human being’s capacity to feel shame and experience embarrassment is very well developed. Our societies train us to be concerned about how others see us. We always want to create favourable impressions about ourselves. And to be seen faltering, falling over, or appearing NOT to be savvy in any way is something we naturally avoid.

Unfortunately, the above orientation in itself creates a problem. The is because just like when we were babies, the learning process requires the making of mistakes – and correcting them then making them again, UNTIL we master the activity we are engaged in. That means if we want to become better, and improve ourselves, we will often need to experience some embarrassing mistake making – at the least.

You Cannot Pre-Determine How Long Your Learning Will Take

You cannot set a specific date and time when you must achieve your intended success in a specific activity.

What you CAN do is to plan to achieve it at a specific date or time. But you must also realise that a number of factors might make it difficult for you to do so.

That is not to say that you will not sometimes set targets of the sort and achieve them. I am just trying to warn you that if you blindly insist that you MUST achieve it when you plan to, but unfortunately find you cannot, you might be too devastated to pick yourself up and continue.

Sometimes our plans might not be good enough to lead us where we want to go. We might need to “refocus” in order to better direct our efforts.

In such circumstances, our previous target dates/times or milestones would be affected. This will not mean we have failed – except we have wrongly forced ourselves to believe that no other date would be acceptable.

"Accept course changes. You may find yourself up blind alleys. You may encounter insurmountable obstacles. You may have to travel another route to your objective" – Burt Dubin

Thinking You Can Plan To Avoid Every Possible Mistake Is A Big Mistake

There are people who would rather experience what is called "analysis paralysis", than take the risk of going out and doing something new without being 100% certain ahead of time, that they will succeed at it.

The truth however is that if the creator of the human race had wanted us to be infallible, he would have made us perfect!

Lee De Forest in describing setbacks he encountered during his business startup experiences reportedly said:

 “Most of the difficulties I encountered couldn’t have been forecast; they always managed to catch me by surprise…There were times when I felt I had gone my limit. Some of my setbacks were stunners. It seemed as if I couldn’t get the stamina to start again. But every time, when I had studied things over a little, I would find a way out. No matter how hopeless things look, there is always a way out, if you look for it hard enough.” – Lee De Forest (inventor of the vacuum tube that made modern radio broadcasting possible)" –

You Alone Must Take Responsibility for Your Failures or Mistakes

Some people are quick to blame “the devil” or “enemies” (e.g. people in the “village” J ) for setbacks and disappointments they encounter.

If you really want to get ahead in any area of your life, the most important thing you’ll need to do is accept that YOU – and only YOU – are responsible for whatever befalls you. It would be naïve to put that kind of power in the hands of any other person(s).

Once you accept that fact, the next line of action you need to take will become obvious: personal action to achieve your desired goals.

You will no longer wait around for people to set things up for you. Instead you will be driven to explore and discover ways and means of making things happen for you. And where possible, you will accept the support of willing others to get to your destination.

It goes without saying that to do the above you will accept that temporary defeat, disappointments, mistakes and other forms of adversity, will come your way. As long as you remember to externalize your failures (i.e. don’t take them personal, and never feel – or let anyone make you feel – that you are a failure), you’ll eventually achieve your goal.

Always remember: It’s okay to be human. And if you’re only human, you’re bound to make mistakes every now and then. What’s important is being courageous enough to learn from those mistakes and become a better person.