Manage Your Relationships Smarter, To Succeed Better!

It’s the last day of the year today. In this final issue of my Speaking IDEAS newsletter for 2012, I discuss the importance of managing your relationships, to boost your chances of speaking success.

Your eloquence, qualifications, certifications or even talent or natural abilities matter. But most crucial to your success in ANY area of endeavour – including paid public speaking – will be your mental attitude! And THAT can often be directly affected by what you see and hear around you.

Consider this quote:

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Publication: Tayo Solagbade’s Weekly Public Speaking IDEAS Page (PSIP) Newsletter

Date: Monday 31st December 2012

No: 70

Title: Manage Your Relationships Smarter, To Succeed Better!

Author & Publisher: Tayo K. Solagbade [234-803-302-1263]

Blog URL: http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/blog

Archive (For E-mail only version started 14th May 2012): Click here to view

Archive (For Blog version started 24th September 2011): Click here

Hi,

Please find below the latest issue of my weekly Public Speaking Ideas page for 2012. 

SD Nuggets Blog

New posts from last week that may interest you!
Public Speaking

[Monday]:

Entrepreneurship [Tuesday]:

Self Development [Wednesday]:

Career Development [Thursday]:

Parenting [Friday]:

Writing/Blogging [Saturday]:
Want me to write for you? Click here…

Click to view larger screenshot showing the applications NEW formula storing interface.

Get The NEW Excel-VB Ration Formulator!

All existing owners get FREE Updgrade(terms apply) : Happy New Year in advance to you all. This new version has additional error handling.

And it allows you to store 3 RATION FORMULAS you derive for easy future retrieval.

By 16th January 2012 the price goes up to N12,500.

You can still get it for N10,500 (with my Feed Formulation Handbook) – here.

 

No. 70: Manage Your Relationships Smarter, To Succeed Better!

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NB: If you ever find yourself wondering what else I’ve written, some days after you’ve read THIS Speaking Ideas newsletter I send out on a Monday, here’s what you can do to find out: Point your browser to www.sdacademy.org to read at least ONE new post added to my SD Nuggets blog on a different category from Tuesday till Saturday (sometimes even Sundays) in line with this publishing schedule :-)

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It’s the last day of the year today. In this final issue of my Speaking IDEAS newsletter for 2012, I discuss the importance of managing your relationships, to boost your chances of speaking success.

Your eloquence, qualifications, certifications or even talent or natural abilities matter. But most crucial to your success in ANY area of endeavour – including paid public speaking – will be your mental attitude! And THAT can often be directly affected by what you see and hear around you.

Consider this quote:

 

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence; Talent will not; nothing is more
common than unsuccessful individuals with talent. Genius will not; the world is full of
educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent
” – Ray Kroc (Founder of McDonalds)

 

The truth is you REALLY need to pay serious attention to anything that can affect your state of mind – an important example being your relationships with others.

You May Have What It Takes To Succeed – But Your Relationships Can Hold You Back

It’s possible you have all the attributes required of a good speaker. And that if – under normal circumstances – you found yourself before the right audience, you would WOW them with your performance.

But you have to find the client willing to pay you to speak first don’t you?

Are you going about it the right way? Who are those you spend time with? Are you able to get good advice from them, to help you along (like a tested and proven mentor would give)? Would you be willing to keep going for as long as may be necessary to find the clients you need?

And what about when you finally win that paid speaking invitation? What if on the VERY day you have to speak, someone upsets you before you leave home?

Maybe your spouse says something nasty that REALLY gets to you. I mean REEALLLY NAASSTY, that you have to go away to calm yourself down :-)))

Or maybe it’s not your spouse.

Maybe someone runs into you from behind as you’re driving to the venue of your speaking event :-)))))))

Yet you have to speak in a few hours from then, at an important event!

How well would you handle yourself out there? Would you be able to deliver at your best?

What can you do to PREVENT such a thing happening to you, and potentially messing up your big opportunity?

I say the key is to control the relationships you have with others.

Thomas Alva Edison – the great inventor – when asked for advice about success did not talk about mastering scientific principles.

Instead he said:

“Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration”.

Edison did not say manifesting genius required a high IQ, a university degree or some other unique academic qualification. Instead he recommended 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.

Considering that this great man was home-schooled by his mother, it goes without saying that one would be wise to believe his words!

Here’s why:

According to an online biography I read some years back, when he was in school, Edison’s teachers concluded he was “addled” (a term used derogatorily to mean a person’s brain was not functioning normally).

Thankfully his mother refused to accept what they told her, and angrily withdrew him from school, to tutor him at home.

If she had agreed with those “lazy minded” teachers, we probably would not have Edison’s 1091 inventions with us today – including the light bulb and electricity!

The above illustrates an example of a beneficial association between a child and an adult – in this case, the parent.

But others have it the other way round. At least Edison’s mother believed in him. Those closest people to us can sometimes be the greatest unbelievers in our abilities.

Some successful people failed to get support from home, and actually found total strangers more willing to believe in them!

Cynthia Kersey (Author of UNSTOPPABLE 45 Powerful Stories of Perseverance and Triumph from People Just like You) wisely noted in her book, that sometimes the negative – unbelieving – person in your life may be someone you cannot eliminate.

A good example is your spouse or father/mother/sibling!

When you share your dream of speaking success, they may feel they’ve known you for so long that nothing you say you’re trying to do can improve on the blunders they’ve seen you make in the past.

As Kersey noted, the saying that a prophet is without honour in his own home is relevant here.

If you have the mental capacity to deal with that kind of situation, and still get on competently with your work, then there’s probably nothing to worry about.

However, if you feel staying exposed to such persons will significantly affect your state of mind, take action to limit your contact with them.

This is not the time to be needlessly sentimental. It’s your life we’re talking about here!

You have every right to make the most of your God-given ability. Letting some insensitive person toy with your feelings and ruin your enthusiasm for pursuing your dream is simply not acceptable.

I Was Ridiculed For Thinking I Could Sell My Excel SoftwareBEFORE I Started Doing It!

It’s not enough to be competent or qualified; you must also have the right mental attitude to deal successfully with the challenges/difficulties that will come up when you are engaged in your chosen endeavour. “ – Tayo K. Solagbade

Towards the end of 2004, I had a painfully raw experience of being used as the butt end of jokes – to my face – over an ambitious goal I’d set for myself.

A friend of the family – who had worked for years as a self-employed IT professional – heard I was visiting at the office of a relative and stopped over.

Within minutes of arriving, he began making jokes about my expressed intention of developing software solutions using MS Excel that people would pay for.

When I explained that I believed I could get paid N100, 000 for an app I was showing my relative a demo for, he said Tayo, we must sell this your software O…we must!”. He repeatedly said this in a mocking tone, bursting into laughter intermittently (and joined by others who sat around – including my relative, and his employee).

You can imagine how that “demonstration” ended for me…:-)

But today it’s on record that I’ve been paid twice that amount by companies, to develop custom spreadsheet software for them.

Like Napoleon Hill noted, people sometimes resort to tactless attempts at humour without considering the impact on the person it is directed against. That singular experience NEVER left my memory. And I successfully used it to push myself to achieve a breakthrough.

Today, I have literally single handedly created a niche for myself as a provider of custom Built-In Excel solutions in Nigeria.

What’s more, I have also achieved name recognition as the developer of certain unique Excel-VB driven spreadsheet software products e.g. my popular Livestock Ration Formulator (built to facilitate automated computation of livestock rations based on the Pearson Square Computation method described in my popular Feed Formulation Handbook) and my Payslip Generator respectively.

Both applications have been purchased by individuals and organizations across the country – and in the case of the former (i.e. the feed formulation software), by international buyers.

It’s possible the family friend who mocked me now realizes how wrong he was.

But whether that will be enough to stop him from treating someone else the same way in future is however a different matter.

And that’s why it’s important for people who set challenging goals for themselves, to adopt what James Cook called a “guiding philosophy” that will help them persist no matter what obstacles they encounter.

Get this: All your degrees and certifications will NOT help you deal with the potentially crippling psychological/emotional effects of mockery, ridicule, and repeated setbacks. You need to “protect” your state of mind, by controlling the environments (relationships with others) you expose yourself to.

Who Do YOU Spend Your Quality Time With?

Demand integrity from all associates. Would you go sailing in a leaky boat? Would you drive on a tire that would not hold air? Then, steel yourself: In cold blood dump unworthy others. Burt Dubin (Internationally acclaimed mentor of some of the world’s highest paid speaking professionals)

This self-examination must begin from your homes – those closest to you. Your spouse – and kids if any. Then the larger family comprising siblings, parents, uncles, aunts, half-siblings, grandparents and so on.

Next we have your friends, coworkers, and former colleagues, as well as business associates, partners – and also neighbours!

Which of these groups of people do you spend your quality time with? And how do you feel AFTER you’ve been with them?

Do you come away feeling more excited and rearing to give your set goals another go? Or are you left reeling from exposure to multiple put downs or outright ridicule of your ideas and ambitions.

Maybe you find yourself drained of enthusiasm from being told by some that it’s taking you too long to “succeed” – and that you need to pack it in and do something else.

Note those who leave you with negative feelings. Or those who refuse to respect your need to create time to pursue your valued goals.

Resolve to spend less time with them.

In my case, I resolved to keep my distance from all those who’d been involved in making fun of me about my Excel-VB software development. I knew from past experience that THAT was the only way to keep my mind free from distractions, discouraging thoughts and doubts.

However, sometimes your circumstances may limit the options open to you. And you may have to endure remaining in contact that negative person for longer than you want.

For instance it may be difficult to avoid contact with your spouse if you live together!

In that case, you may find reading books that nurture your self-belief (like Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich) very useful.

Anytime you’re feeling deflated, pick up that book and read, and I guarantee you’ll soon feel better – and rearing to go again!

Final Words

Let me summarise as follows:

Your eloquence, qualifications, certifications and status matter. But most crucial for achieving success in ANY area of endeavour – including paid public speaking – will be your mental attitude!

And THAT can often be directly affected by what you see and hear around you.

Therefore your RELATIONSHIPS matter very greatly!

When you see and hear people dismiss your ideas, it can have a lasting negative impact on your mental attitude. Your academic degrees, certifications, and talents will STILL be yours. But you’ll find yourself feeling LESS capable of succeeding!

You do NOT have to let that happen. Don’t let others impose their limitations on you.

Give yourself the best possible shot at speaking success in the New Year: Adopt proven strategies – like those shared above – and start managing your relationships smarter from today!

Here’s wishing you a happy and truly prosperous New Year in advance!

Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist

*Sole Agent For Burt Dubin’s Speaker Mentoring Service In Africa

Mobile: 234-803-302-1263

http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com

Tayo Solagbade is a Performance Improvement Specialist & multipreneur. He works with individuals/businesses who want to achieve highly profitable outcomes, and also with parents who want to raise real-world competent children.

Tayo earns multiple streams of income providing clients with performance improvement training/coaching, custom MS Excel-VB solutions, web marketing systems, freelance writing services, and best practice extension support services (for farm business owners).

When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Self-Development Nuggets™ blog, and Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter (which he publishes to promote Burt Dubin’s Public Speaking Mentoring service to experts working across the African continent).

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Have you been undecided about whether or not to become a paid speaker? Or have you been trying to get your speaking career off the ground with little success?

Here’s a tip: Burt Dubin works with people who want to be speakers, and with speakers who want to be masters. Click here to visit his website NOW and submit a contact form message telling him what challenges you’re facing, and how you’d like him to help you. Tell him I sent you, and you’ll get a pleasant surprise offer from him.

Comments?

What do you think of the above message? Do you have any personal experience to share on this subject? Are there some other points you feel can be added, to help persons looking for answers? Please share your thoughts!

Share this issue!

Do you know anyone who might benefit from reading this newsletter issue? Why not hit the forward button now, and send it to him/her with a short recommendation. You can also use share it via your social media channels. Thanks in advance.

View Tayos video tutorials and demonstrations on Facebook Productivity Tips, Web Marketing, and for his Custom MS Excel-VB driven software applicationsConnect with Tayo on LinkedIn.comConnect with Tayo on Facebook.comConnect with Tayo on Twitter.comConnect with Tayo on Google Plus

What fears or doubts are keeping you from (a) taking up Burt Dubin’s monthly speaker mentoring, or (b) buying his products?

You can choose to purchase Burt’s mentoring at any of the three (3) levels listed below:

1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Burt’s three mentoring packages can be likened to the seating options offered by airlines: Budget Delight (Economy); Mid Range (Business); and Top Shelf (First Class).

At least that’s how I like to think of them!

All three will get you to your desired destination of “speaking success-ville” – so long as you meet the requirements/play your part well (your fare, abide by the set guidelines etc). During the “flight”, the seat you have will determine how much personal service attention and preference the provider will accord you. It’s that simple :-)

So, make your choice:1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Send me an e-mail with your questions via tayo at tksola dot com. In the meantime, why not get started by subscribing here to get his 7-Part Course (How To Succeed And Get Paid As A Professional Speaker) .  . . and receive his monthly newsletter (Speaking Biz Strategies Letter) at no cost.

Get mentored by Burt Dubin - coach of some of the world's highest paid public speakers

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Use Your Smartphone To Boost Your Productivity (5 Tested & Proven Tips)

[Update – 25th June 2018: 6. Use Whatsapp On Your PC/Laptop Browser: I now use an Android Smartphone to do the stuff described below, and LOTS more e.g Providing interactive coaching to clients via private Whatsapp groups like the one in the screenshot below, for my Web Marketing for CEOs club. Note that the screenshot was taken from my Laptop screen interface i.e. I use an browser app extension that allows me to connect Whatsapp from my phone to my Laptop and use it from there, in a synchronized manner. That way I need not go back to the phone, if I’m busy on the Laptop. For me, that’s a major time/effort saving convenience that does wonders for my productivity!]

Click the screenshot below to view larger version in a new window…

smart-productivity

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In my new ebook titled “WHY YOU KEEP FAILING TO ACHIEVE YOUR WRITING GOALS! – 10 Habits That Are Holding You Back, And How To Change Them For Good!” – published on 31st October 2012, I mentioned that 80% of my website content updates were done from my Blackberry Smart phone at the time. As of 3 weeks ago, I estimate that over 90% of my content updates now happen from my mobile device. So I rarely need to carry my laptop with me to keep my updates going. To provide some perspective, below are specific examples of tasks I get done more productively using this approach :

1. Text, Pictures, Videos, Html code Updates On My Websites/Blogs

I’ve found pictures I took with my smartphone useful for illustrating a point or two on my websites or blog posts. And I’ve created images using Photoshop on my laptop, that I then transferred on to my smartphone, from where I inserted them into a web page or blog post. Most of my sites are based on either of two popular database driven Content Management Systems (CMS) i.e WordPress and Joomla. And that’s what makes doing the above possible. I regularly make all sorts of updates via both CMS from my Smartphone – including adding pictures or images via an Add New Media browser dialog. I use this interface to upload and insert pictures into a post.

Pix of Caterpillar taken by my kids.  Above: Pix of Caterpillar taken by my kids. But I must say that WordPress has proved itself to be easier to manipulate with predictable results using this mobile interface. Add to the above the fact of Joomla’s significantly steeper learning curve, and you’ll understand why I now lean more towards using WordPress for my work. And I generally encourage my clients to do so too.

Over the past 3 weeks, almost every single post I’ve published here on this Self-Development Nuggets blog has been TYPED in its entirety on my Blackberry smartphone: In case you’re wondering, that includes THIS post you’re currently readingAnd I mean every single character, including the opening and closing tags for the subheadings and other html formatting you may be seeing right now. Screenshot of draft articles list in the memo pad interface on my smartphone. Above: Screenshot of draft articles list in the memo pad interface on my smartphone. That naturally implies one needs some knowledge of basic html and a little resilience in typing on the tiny mobile device keypad!

But that’s not necessarily so. You see, I choose to work like this because I’ve found it suits me. I’m able to keep my writing smarter and less wordy because of the limiting typing interface. However, you can always do all the writing and formatting of your content (including embedding pictures and videos) in your regular html editor’s design view. Once you’re ready to publish the post, you’d simply highlight the entire body of content with your mouse, then switch to code view and click “copy” to store the html equivalent in your PC’s clipboard. Next you’d open a blank notepad file and paste the copied code into the text file. Then save it into an easy to access folder location in your smartphone (this step requires that you physically connect your mobile to your PC using a data cable. Or you could send the text file to the mobile using a bluetooth connection if both devices have that feature).

You’d then open your administrator interface on your blog, and click “Add a new post” for example. Once that edit window opens, you’d simply copy and paste your new post’s html contents into it, add a title, choose the category, and fill in the SEO details etc, and click publish (or edit to schedule for publishing at a later date or time). Within seconds your new blog post would be live :-)

NB: Sometimes adding the images or pictures directly from phone to webpage or blog can for some unknown reason fail to go as planned. When that happens, I simply browse – still on my phone – to an upload form page on my main website. Using the form, I would choose the image from the relevant folder on my phone, then click upload to store the image to a folder on my webserver. Next I’d use the image URL emailed to me (within seconds of the upload) by the CGI script that powers the form, to add the html image embed code referencing the image on the server into my blog or webpage. Then I’d click the SAVE or PUBLISH button, and the image would appear as required.

2. Social Media Updates Publishing

By setting up my Twitter and Facebook accounts to “talk to each other” I’m able to publish updates to both at once either way. And because my LinkedIn account is linked to my Twitter account I actually get to publish to all 3 channels at once, anytime I share my updates from LinkedIn. Since I have mobile apps for each of the 3 channels installed on my phone, you can imagine how easily I’m able to publish updates about my blog content to them right from my phone. Incidentally RSS Graffitti, a popular Facebook plugin also automatically publishes every new post I add to my blog, to every Facebook page and profile I’ve set it up on. So that provides a backup update publishing of sorts.

3. Web Marketing Tasks Implementation

Regular readers will know that I constantly refer to my dependence on a carefully crafted Web Marketing System, which helps me cost-effectively generate high quality sales leads for my various products and services. One way it works is that anytime a potential buyer takes action to request more information about a specific offering by submitting a request form, I instantly get her enquiry on my phone via email push technology. What this does for me, is that I no longer have to go checking for emails that have arrived. Even better, I don’t have to worry about missing emails that get sent into the spam or junk mail folder by an over-aggressive email filter. Before I began using push email, the foregoing sometimes had me arguing with a client. One one occasion, a client repeatedly insisted he had sent me an email few days earlier, and I equally insisted I’d not seen it.

Then one day, weeks afterwards, I checked my spam folder, and there it was!

But that’s not the only advantage I enjoy from using my web marketing system on my phone…

Each request form on my website caters for a particular product or service enquiry. I therefore took care to configure all the forms to deliver the enquiry via email to me using a unique subject line that lets me know – even before I open it – which product and/or service the enquiry is about.

Now, to save time and effort in responding to each email, I use a CGI script that delivers a specific custom message for each form to the submitter’s email address within seconds. Then, to follow up, I have pre-written boiler plate messages stored as individual memo pad files on my Smartphone for each enquiry. Within a few minutes I’m able to insert names and other unique recipient details to the template.

And I then copy and paste, into the reply window, to send to the enquirer. Because I’ve prepared virtually all the information I need to make my responses in a ready-to-use template, it often takes me relatively little effort or time to make all of the above happen, from anywhere I am – even when I’m on the move! Without access to the powerful features of a smartphone, doing this would not be as easy, convenient or timely.

4. Streamlined Bank Transactions Updates Tracking

Like I’ve stated elsewhere, due to limiting infrastructure in my society, I have to provide traditional (cash) payment options for local buyers – just as I offer more up to date and convenient channels for international buyers. In the past (i.e for local payments), I depended on getting mobile phone SMS alerts for deposits into my bank account by buyers. Each alert attracted a small charge from the bank to me, and depending on how active the account got (for both withdrawals and deposits), that amount tended to add up at the month’s end.

I naturally wanted an option that did not deplete my bank balance in any way, hence my adoption of email alerts :-) However, a more compelling reason I had for choosing email alerts, was the inherent difficulty of keeping track of the bank alerts sent via SMS. There was also the greater possibility of SMS storage space outage on a busy mobile phone used for business. As a result of the above considerations, the option of getting instant ZERO cost email alerts on my smartphone has remained a preferred alternative for me. Making timely payment confirmation and fulfillment of orders has become easier as a result of the above. And that has greatly enhanced smooth interactions with local buyers.

5. Browsing 50% Cheaper By Using My Smartphone As A Modem

Do you own a smartphone and still invest in routine cyber cafe visits to do your browsing? Or do you make heavy monthly Internet browsing data purchases to use a wireless modem (which you had/have to buy) for browsing on your PC? If you said “yes” to either of the above questions, then this last point could help you save a huge chunk of the money you’ve been spending to get your browsing done.

Since November 2011(over a year now) I have used my Blackberry phone as a tethered modem for browsing on my laptop. During this period I have successfully carried out ALL the tasks I normally used to do on my Starcomms wireless modem and in cyber cafes without problems of any sort. And that includes adding video demonstrations (80MB to 140MB) for my Excel software guides and demos to my Youtube channel.

Click the preceding link or Youtube icon below this post to watch some of them. This has helped me cut down my monthly expenses by about 50%.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I must make this observation that it’s not been rosy all the way. Over the last 3 months or so, I’ve however noticed a significant drop in the connection speeds delivered by Etisalat, my ISP. Despite my complaints they’ve not been able to impove the performance. So I’m looking to see if any of the other providers can do better on a long term basis. Having said that, you will agree with me that THAT problem is not due to my use of the Blackberry as a modem. It’s due instead to poor connection speeds from my ISP.

 

So except for video uploads which now rarely succeed, I still use my Blackberry modem to meet all my heavy duty browsing needs on a routine basis. And the time, effort, convenience and cost savings STILL remain very substantial. No exaggeration. I won’t say much more here about how this is possible, since I already have a page on which I excitedly shared this massive cost-saving alternative many months back. So just click here to learn more .

Final Words

If you plan to make the most of yourself in your personal and business life in today’s world, you must explore the benefits derivable from using your smartphone in the ways I’ve explained above. And that’s just for starters. There’s so much more you can learn, that will make you superproductive. You only need to be ready to learn. If you are, I can help you implement a self-directed private learning program that will take you as far as you’re willing to go. Send me a message using the contact form on this blog with details of your needs.

Be A Role Model For Your Kids On Speaking Truth

What If Your Child Knows A Truth That Could Save Someone?

Imagine your child witnesses a prank by a few of her peers on a teacher’s car, that causes some unintented damage.

Then let’s say some days later she learns that two innocent students from a rival group have been suspended by the principal over the incident, based on an anonymous letter that fingered them.

Can you confidently say you know what your child would do under such a situation?

Would she go to the principal and tell on her friends, to stop the wrong students from being punished for something they did not do?

Or would she choose to remain loyal to her pals, and pretend like she knew nothing?

Your ability to accurately predict what your child would do in a situation like this, is likely to be a reflection of the effort you’ve made to inculcate the right values in her!

Truth Telling Vs. The Need To Be Liked By Everyone

In today’s worid, the need to be liked (or approved of) now drives not just politicians but also everyday people.

We’re all keen to be socio-politically correct, so we can get along with others in our increasingly culturally complex world.

It’s gotten so serious now that even paid speaking professionals are reluctant to speak from the heart as often as they normally would.

The concern in their case being the real possibility of a loss of business, if existing or potential clients decide they do not like the “truth” as spoken by the expert speaker!

Now, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with speaking and acting with consideration for the interests and feelings of others.

That’s afterall an important part of what it means to be emotionally intelligent.

The problem I see however, is that many people are taking this business of political correctness to a negative extreme.

They are sacrificing their right to freedom of expression in order to be agreeable to everyone they relate with.

Rocking the opinion boat by voicing contrary views terrifies them.

And they actively avoid calling friends, associates or relatives to order no matter how disapproving they are of the latter’s conduct.

If You Truly Care For Someone, You Will Tell Them When They Go Wrong

The fact however remains that if we truly love and care for someone, the best thing to do WILL often be to speak truthfully to her about everything.

And that includes any wrongdoing we observe – especially when it’s repetitive!

In a perfect world, I guess giving corrective feedback the way I propose above, as and when due would happen.

Unfortunately, here on earth, we have our human limitations, or shortcomings which make us fall short of the above standard.

That’s why today it appears more good people are finding it harder to take a firm stand against falsehood, by speaking truth.

From politicians to business – and even religious – persons, being economical with the truth, or prevaricating, seems to have become a favourite past time.

You Can Disagree Without Being Disagreeable

I’ve sat in on discussions before, with people I thought I knew, only to hear them express agreement with warped views that they had privately told me they were against!

And sometimes I’ve seen persons I greatly admire and respect deliberately look the other way, when a friend, associate or relative blatantly abused the rights of disadvantaged others.

(One example: A manager who stayed quiet when his boss had an innocent employee put in jail for weeks – using his money and connections – even AFTER CCTV footage watched by them and the investigating police officer, showed nothing to indicate he took the money reported missing.)

In each of the above instances, my casual enquiries often revealed that they felt the other person was wealthier and/or more influential than they were, and was therefore beyond reproach.

To put it another way, they felt the other person was too big for them to correct or call to order.

And as such, they believed it would be wiser not to openly challenge or disagree with her views or actions.

Pity.

Ironically, doing that just ends up hurting everyone at the end of the day.

Including those we try to protect by acting without integrity in that manner.

I personally believe it’s wiser to agree-to-disagree, when you discover you are unable to find a meeting point between your views and those held by your counterpart.

That would be a more truthful and therefore honourable way to relate with others who hold contrary views to yours.

Your Kids Will Choose What To Do, More By Watching Your Actions, Than By Hearing What You Say

It won’t matter what you drum into their heads during prayer sessions or your daily interactions. Or what you make them read.

Kids want to see you practice what you preach, or walk your talk, without reservation or fear.

Once they see you doing that, they’ll naturally draw inspiration from there, to do the same thing anywhere they find themselves.

If they see you hang on to a friend who is perpetually rude to waiters or the hired help, they’ll assume it’s okay to keep such friends too – and even act the same way.

But if you make a point of tactfully correcting your potentially rude friend and insist he stop mistreating less fortunate others, your kids are likely to notice your efforts and toe the same line.

The key is to be an exemplary model in words and in action for them to follow, EVERY single day.

If you keep it up for long enough, you’ll eventually get to a point where you can confidently and accurately predict what your child will do under a particular situation, like the one described at the start of this piece.

Here’s one advantage of getting your child to the above mentioned “point”:

You’ll always be confident that your child will make the right choices or decisions, no matter whose Ox is gored (e.g in the case of the school prank, she would probably advise her friends to own up. If they refused, she would tell the principal the truth herself. Simple.)

There’s no better way to have peace of mind (when it concerns children) than that!

Why You Need A Planned Activity Tracking Sheet (PATS)

Many busy executives and managers sometimes struggle to keep abreast of the myriad of tasks they need to attend to.

Their demanding schedules are often responsible for this problem.

Unfortunately, not everyone can have (or afford) a personal assistant. And even for those who have, sometimes the PA may be unavailable, or worse, not at her best.

In this article, I use examples from my time in paid employment (see full details in my 11 page PDF resume -click here) , to explain how being able to use a PATS, can help you overcome the above limitations, to excel at work perpetually.

Background: Identifying My PATS As The Key To My Workplace Success

Before 2002, I worked as a high performing manager in a large corporate multinational.

Within 6 years of joining the company, I had achieved rapid career advancement ahead of others older in the company, and on the job, than I was.

On one occasion, I had a senior colleague from a different department make the following (scary) rhetorical statement to me in what sounded like a menacing voice:

“Solagbade, you want to do in 3 years what some people did in 5 years huh?”

That happened in 1997.

By 2001, I’d recorded other milestone achievements.

Most notably I’d gotten myself known across the company, for literally automating all the manual report preparation processes in my department (brewing/production), using my Lotus 1-2-3 spreadsheets macro programming skills.

[NB: Today I develop custom MS Excel-VB driven spreadsheet software for high profile clients, and for sale from my website.]

Following that, I got sent on a series of secondments in acting capacity to higher management positions. In each instance I did not disappoint.

Over time I was promoted, then later nominated for multiple international training courses, and also assigned to act in an even greater decision making position as departmental head.

The irony was that I had to perform this senior management acting role in the same department I’d just been promoted out of, three months earlier!

That required leading my former senior colleagues effectively, if I wanted to succeed.

It was tough, but I once again applied myself diligently, and pulled it off.

A few weeks later that year (in 2001), another senior colleague ran into me on the company grounds and (after exchanging pleasantries) asked:

“Solagbade, what is your secret?”

I told him I had none, and that all I tried to do each day was to ensure I NEVER left undone, anything I knew could be done.

That way, I was able to keep my list of tasks at any point in time, within manageable limits. And as a result, I never got overwhelmed by the work I had to do in any position I occupied.

How My PATS Helped Me Achieve Superior Results

I know this may sound rather simplistic, but looking back, I realised that my use of a PATS was actually the key to my success as an employee.

Funny enough, the sheet had no special features. Just 7 labelled columns (setup in a table printed out from an MS Excel template I created) as follows:

1. Serial Number : designated as “SN” to save space. In this column, I assigned a number in ascending format to every activity I entered into the table.

2. Description of Activity/Task:
Here I wrote, using abbreviations, key details of the outcome I wished to achieve by carrying out the task.

3. Date: The date on which the task or activity was entered on the PATS.

4. Who: Initials of individuals or names of groups I would need to liase with (or chase) to make the activity happen to completion.

5. When: The desired target date for completion of the task, or realisation of the target outcome.

6. Done (Yes/No): I would insert a “Yes” (or check mark) if the task had been completed by the start of a new week. Otherwise it would be a “No”.

In other words, each week I opened a fresh sheet, and checked off all completed tasks on the outgone week’s sheet.

Then I copied any outstanding ones left on the past week’s sheet, to the new one, so I could continue tracking them.

As the week progressed, I would add any new tasks that came up as a result of agreements reached at meetings, requests from others, or plans I had.

7. Comment(s): Here I would make notes to guide my implementation of each task, or to record notable points relevant to the results achieved.

The above format helped me keep my mind uncluttered. As a result I was often able to think faster and act smarter while at work. This inspite of the fact that I often started the day earlier (and closed much later) than most of the others I had to work with.

Anytime an issue arose that could not be dealt with instantly, and which therefore needed following up, I’d simply write it on a new serially numbered line on my PATS.

Then as the day/week progressed, I would run through the entries I’d made and make needed checks, visits, phonecalls or emails to get updates and/or try progressing them where possible.

This instrument was responsible for making me appear to other employees as if I had a super memory: I never seemed to forget to do anything that was assigned to me.

And if I was in a group I used the PATS to the group’s benefit. It was therefore no surprise that people came to see me as someone who could be trusted to get things done.

As a result I often got drafted (sometimes coerced) to join company paperwork computerisation project teams, long service awards organising committees, management staff association executives etc.

In most of these groups it was no accident that I had to often had to play the role of “Secretary” :-)

Final Words

In the long run it all paid off for me, because I got to rub shoulders (and minds), a lot, with senior decision makers as a result of my exposure to the various groups and meetings.

What I learnt from those high profile interactions would equip me to later excel as career advancement opportunities came my way.

Without the use of my PATS I would never have impressed enough to earn those opportunities.

More importantly, I would not have been able to excel in doing those jobs like I did, if I had not used my PATS.

On a final note I will say that even today, I would prefer the paper version to the smartphone or PC based equivalents that may exist.

To save paper however, I often used the blank side of waste paper from printers from offices.

Alternatively, you can buy and use ruled notebooks.

Using a tool like the handwritten PATS I’ve described above, can help you excel as an employee.

Why not give it a try and see?

You Need Conviction To Succeed!

Are you struggling to make progress towards a valued personal or business goal?

Does it feel like you don’t have enough of the things you need to succeed?

This article narrates a true story that illustrates the fact that sometimes NOTHING, other than a lack of adequate conviction, can hold you back, if you really set your mind to it.

You will learn how having a firm conviction, and acting on it with unwavering faith and enthusiasm can (magically) open doors leading to the opportunities you seek, until you achieve success.

Discovering The Business Of Webdesign As A Struggling Startup

When I first picked up the November 2003 issue of a glossy covered professional webdesign magazine from Rotciv’s table, little did I know that less than 3 months later, I would be earning substantial income providing formal webdesign services to clients.

It all began with a casual comment I made to Rotciv as I flipped through the mag’s thick pages, at the back of which the publishers had included a “How To” CDROM with sample designs, free software etc for use by readers.

He had accumulated multiple editions of the magazine in his office as the subscriptions arrived, but never gotten round to doing anything with them.

From reading through the one in my hand, I discovered that the tutorials, exercises and resources in it were authored by world class webdesign professionals in different areas of specialisation.

My interest was instantly aroused, because I knew that studying the techniques used by such highly paid experts, was bound to set one’s work apart.

Another reason I got interested was that my Excel-VB driven custom software development business was still in it’s infancy at the time. I was struggling to find prospects willing to consider my unusual spreadsheet automation service in my local market.

I have since successfully carved a unique marketplace niche for myself as a provider of custom Excel solutions, but back then, it was a hard sell.

In contrast to my Excel automation service, the business of webdesign was one that appealed to a large segment of the population.

Just thinking about it as I sat there, I knew I could find clients readily, if I could become reasonably proficient in webdesign. And that would mean badly needed income would come my way.

So, I said “You know Rotciv, I’m sure if I studied the collection you have here over a few weeks to a month, I’d be able to build a decent professional website for clients. Infact I’m sure I could build one for your Communications company.”

He replied saying “You really think you can learn enough within one month to be able to build a professional website, and even get paying clients?”

“I don’t see why not” I said. “These tutorials and the accompanying resource CDs are packed with easy-to-follow practical examples and illustrations. Any serious minded person who is not lazy, should have no problem doing so.”

And Rotciv responded:

“Well then, if you’re that convinced, why not go ahead and do it. The mags have been lying around for months anyway, and I’ve never really had the time to read them.

It would be great if you put them to some use – and even better if you can deliver a usable website for my company in the process.

That’s actually been on my mind a while, but I’ve not had the funds to do anything about it. Your idea gives me an opportunity to get something decent online for free!”

Learning Webdesign Via Self-Tutoring

And so between November and December 2003, I diligently spent every bit of free time I could find reading and practising tutorials from multiple issues of the webdesign magazine.

Sometimes I worked round the clock over the weekend for 48 consecutive hours. Most times, I stopped only to take my meals or have my bath. The rest of the time, I simply buried myself in the tutorials.

I gradually gained proficiency in the use of Macromedia Dreamweaver and Flash, as well as Adobe Photoshop.

Then I went online to learn about adding web contact forms powered by CGI scripts. I studied free tutorials provided by developers on how to upload my completed website files using FTP tools like CuteFTP etc. I also learnt to install CGI scripts on servers, use CHMODing to set file permissions etc.

Getting Ready To Find Clients

By the second week of January 2004, I felt reasonably convinced I knew enough to do a decent job of building a functional website for a paying client.

So I Googled to learn how to market my services to find my first few clients.

One article recommended offering to do a free job, to get some experience handling a real life project under my belt.

The idea appealed to me.

I had yet to work on a real life server on a paid hosting account. The closest I’d gone was in using Yahoo!’S free Geocities and some ad sponsored free hosting service providers. These had limitations in terms of what I could do, especially at the server end.

My First Client Projects

So I went out in search of a willing non-paying client, and found one in Ikeja under a week.

Two weeks later the completed site was up.

The client ran a professional UK exams coaching clinic. And he made weekly TV appearances on a local show as a consultant.

I suggested that he have the website’s URL appear on screen below his name whenever he came on air, so viewers would see it. He agreed.

Within a few weeks, he’d begun getting web form enquiries like I’d (enthusiastically) told him would happen. He gladly provided the testimonial I requested.

Armed with that, and with promotional flyers referring to the TV show featuring the first website I’d built, I went hunting for paid clients.

As I searched, I still made out time to study more to improve my new skills. I already saw aspects of the work I’d done on the first website, that I needed to improve on.

Rotciv had become quite enthused about getting his own site up as well, by this time. However he chose to first test my work on his Geocities free hosting account.

Like I did for my first project, I again used an adapted version of Michel Fortin’s webdesign and content copywriting questionnaire to extract the essential information I needed from Rotciv. Again, things went well.

Working in this manner would later prove quite effective in delivering to the client’s satisfaction, while avoiding the dreaded scope creep :-)

By mid february, I won two projects – each for N100,000.00 (about $800 USD at the time).

A Setback: I Lose Access To The Laptop I Borrowed

All this while, I’d been using a borrowed laptop, just like the magazines I’d been studying.

Unfortunately, about one week after I began work on both projects, the laptop’s owner demanded for its return!

I was devastated that despite my appeals, he did not budge. But after thinking it over, I became convinced that I could find an alternative.

One of my two new clients was a PC assembly and repairs service provider. I told him the challenge I was facing, and proposed that he use my remaining balance of N50,000.00 to build me a desktop PC I could use to finish his website.

He agreed, and I went on to finish both jobs – using my newly built PC!

Before the end of 2004, I successfully won and completed another two projects.

And I was also able to put up my own first website (on Geocities), for marketing my Excel software.

Once again, my demonstrated enthusiasm, conviction and self-confidence won over one of my webdesign clients. And he hired me to build a custom Excel application for his company.

At that point, I “tasted blood”!

I immediately began exploring ways to use my website to cost effectively find buyers for my Excel solutions.

Today, my conviction and persistence has helped me establish a tested and proven Web Marketing System to cost-effectively promote my work.

This has repeatedly helped me win buyers for my Excel-VB software and other products and services I offer.

Final Words: A Firm Conviction Can Save You!

I’ve definitely come a long way since that fateful day in November 2003. Without a firm conviction about my ideas, and my abilities, I would probably never have made it this far.

No one I knew could really vouch for me in any way back then. They had yet to see me do those things to be sure themselves.

I alone knew what I was capable of.

Sometimes that’s all you need to make things happen for you i.e a firm conviction that you can do it!

In my case it was ALL I had at the time I was starting out. I had no money, and no computer!

Today, many who know me readily vouch for me. Some even give their unsolicited endorsements and recommendations in professional business circles we belong e.g LinkedIn.com.

Without my acting persistently based on my convictions over the past years, none of that would be happening today.

Adopt a similar approach as you work towards achieving your own valued goals, and you’ll be amazed at the results you get!

Reduce Your Customer Acquisition Cost (Lessons From My 4 Week Sales Prospecting Experiment)

What if you could spend less money, time and effort to get the same or even more people to buy your products and/or services?

You’d like that wouldn’t you? Well, so would many others who are just like you and me.

The question is how can one make that happen – especially on a continuing basis? This article offers lessons from a 4 week sales prospecting experiment I recently concluded, for you to consider.

To Stay In Business, You Must Keep The Sales Coming In

As a profits focussed business owner, probably the most important activity that should dominate your thinking is generating sales leads, and converting them.

Even a poorly managed business is likely to remain profitable if it makes regular sales.

It is however crucially important to always look beyond your revenue, to quantify profit margins accruing from sales you make.

Without substantial and sustained profits, any business will struggle to withstand unexpected market changes e.g drops in demand, hikes in costs etc.

Making Regular Sales Requires A Reliable Sales & Marketing Strategy

How do you currently go about finding buyers? Your adopted approach will most likely depend on what you sell…and where you sell it.

For instance, my main income generating products are my feed formulation handbook and software.

But unlike my counterparts in other parts of the world, the relatively lower Internet awareness amongst my target population here in Nigeria/Africa, makes it necessary, for me, to go the extra mile to win each prospective buyer’s trust.

This requirement makes the process of selling potentially tiring!

And that’s why my use of an intelligent Web Marketing System (WMS) to generate prequalified sales leads, has been massively time, effort and cost-saving.

Basically, what this means is that I’ve setup a self-sustaining network of web based resources that almost literally “herd” people most likely to be interested in buying my products to me.

And I’ve found over the past five years or so that closing sales with prospects that come through this channel is at least 4 times easier and faster. That is compared to when I have to deal with a prospect I initiated contact with.

The results from my recent little experiment (described below) are the proof I need to justify sticking with using my WMS to make buyers come to me, over going out to “chase” potential buyers who’ve never heard of me or my offering.

It’s MUCH Easier To Sell, When You Make Buyers Come To You

And if you can setup a system to make the above happen, your sales conversion rate will dramatically improve, even as you do less work to make it happen e.g fewer phonecall or email follow ups, shorter explanations to convince prospects etc

Like I’ve said above, I use a WMS that I periodically tweak, based on the results I get, to make the above happen as frequently as possible.

Of course, when a good opportunity presents itself, I still seize it to close sales through other channels.

The truth is however that up to 90% of the sales of my above mentioned handbook and software happen via leads generated by my WMS.

Little wonder that I am so generous in investing my time, efforts and resources in diligently nurturing this low cost but high impact marketing system on a DAILY basis!

Proof That You’ll Close More Sales If You Make Prospects Come To You (My 4 Week Sales & Prospecting Experiment)

Sales results show clearly that people buy more readily from a person they approached by themselves (after studying her/her offering). And they are significantly less willing to be sold, when the seller (you) is the one who makes first contact.

You can put the above knowledge to use, in a way that boosts your selling productivity.

Recently, over a 4 week period, I conducted a little field experiment that lends credence to the argument I’ve made above.

What I did was to “work through” two different lists of potential buyers for my feed formulation handbook and software.

Group 1: Comprised over 200 past visitors to my Farm Business Ideas website, who had taken the step of submitting a request via the web contact form provided.

I should add that some of those on this list had already purchased at least one product from me in the past.

It is also worth noting, that in using the contact form, they’d agreed to have their email addresses added to my mailing list. Which meant they had be receiving my regular article and newsletter email broadcasts.

Group 2: Comprised a mixture of over 300 fish farm business owners, aquaculture consultants, as well as equipment and feed suppliers.

Their professional and contact details were published in a PDF Directory compiled under the auspices of the USAID and made available for free download online.

Neither group had any idea of what I was doing. Indeed I must confess that I did not start out to conduct this comparison.

Here’s how it happened:

You see every December/January, I normally run a special promo in which I offer my opt-in newsletter subscribers discounted prices and bundled product packages. In the last 2 years before this it’d been quite successful, with over 30% of subscribers taking up my offers.

When I stumbled upon the USAID directory, I felt those listed there would also be interested in my products.

So I decided to contact a selected number of them directly with a variant of the offer I’d prepared for my subscribers for this year end.

It was only after the second week of weirdly long and mostly unproductive cold calls and follow up sales conversations that I realised members of this group were not as ready as those on my website database.

I recalled that closing sales with persons who’d contacted me (via phone or email) after exposure to my WMS often took no more than 2 conversations.

Yet, after two weeks, NOT one of the 20 USAID prospects I’d chosen to “cold call” two weeks earlier had placed an order.

That was when the idea came to me to push my offer to both groups and compare their responses in terms of orders placed.

Below I Discuss Some Of My Findings

1. Number of Phonecalls Before Order:

For every single call I placed to a prospect chosen from Group 1, I had to place at least four to each prospect from Group 2.

2. Duration of Sales Conversations:

Group 1 candidates typically required a maximum of 3 minutes to listen to, and ask questions about my offer.

Prospects from group 2 often “hemmed and hawed” a lot as they asked questions about the offer. They typically took 3 to 5 minutes to speak to.

3. Follow Up:

Both groups readily consented to having me email full details of the offer to them.

However only amongst group 1 prospects did I get positive responses to my attempts to follow up with them.

In over 90% of group 2 cases, after getting the email, they stopped taking my call.

That was a huge contrast to group 1 respondents who even called back (or sent SMS via phone) for payment details. And they went on to pay too.

The 10% in group 2 who did take my calls and/or called back never went on to make payment, even though they said they would.

Understanding The Contrasting Prospective Buyers’ Attitudes

The obvious reason was that the former (Group 1 prospects) were already familiar with my work.

For one thing, they had read up about my products and services when they’d first discovered me online.

Indeed, some had made hefty purchases at first contact with me (to show how powerful a WMS can be!), after which they became subscribers.

Others started out for a few years as subscribers before later making purchases from me.

In contrast, the Group 2 prospects had to evaluate my offer for the first time over a few weeks, towards taking a buying decision.

In other climes, that would probably not have posed a problem.

But in my peculiar socioeconomic environment (where gaining the trust of others to make them part with money can take years),it can be quite a tall order!

Little wonder that nobody in group 2 was convinced enough to buy in 2 weeks of follow up, while about 5% of those I’ve spoken with from group 1 have already taken it up!

Spend Less Money, Time & Effort To Make Sales: Use A WMS To Make Buyers Come To You

The above details clearly illustrate how effectively a WMS can help you achieve marketplace credibility, even as it boosts the reach and long term impact of your business promotion efforts.

You need a consistent web marketing platform to build relationships with potential buyers, and to command attention, interest and credibility.

If you want help setting a WMS up for your business, submit the contact form on this blog or email me via tayo at tksola dot com.

You Will Be Sorely Tested

Tomorrow is Christmas day. A day on which Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. In the bible we are told of the suffering Jesus endured to fulfil his purpose on earth.

The theme of this week’s issue of my speaking IDEAS newsletter is partly related to the above i.e. understanding how adversity and suffering help YOU achieve success as a paid speaker.

I’m not talking religion here though…

As those who’ve been reading my writing for a while will know, I stopped attending Church back in 1989, in my third year of study in the University.

My reason for taking – and sticking to – that decision will probably be the subject of a future article :-)

Instead I focus here on how having to lead bible study sessions – and come up with my interpretation of the passages for discussion with others – shaped my values systems – and character – as an individual.

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Publication: Tayo Solagbade’s Weekly Public Speaking IDEAS Page (PSIP) Newsletter

Date: Monday 24th December 2012

No: 69

Title: You Will Be Sorely Tested

Author & Publisher: Tayo K. Solagbade [234-803-302-1263]

Blog URL: http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/blog

Archive (For E-mail only version started 14th May 2012): Click here to view

Archive (For Blog version started 24th September 2011): Click here

Hi,

Please find below the latest issue of my weekly Public Speaking Ideas page for 2012. 

SD Nuggets Blog

New posts from last week that may interest you!
Public Speaking

[Monday]:

Entrepreneurship [Tuesday]:

Self Development [Wednesday]:

Career Development [Thursday]:

General(XMAS END OF YEAR PROMO)[Thursday]:

Parenting [Friday]:

Writing/Blogging [Saturday]:
Want me to write for you? Click here…

Click now for details about Burt Dubin's speaker mentoring for experts based in Africa

Have you been undecided about whether or not to become a paid speaker? Or have you been trying to get your speaking career off the ground with little success?

Here’s a tip: Burt Dubin works with people who want to be speakers, and with speakers who want to be masters. Click here to visit his website NOW and submit a contact form message telling him what challenges you’re facing, and how you’d like him to help you. Tell him I sent you, and you’ll get a pleasant surprise offer from him.

 

No. 69: You Will Be Sorely Tested

****

NB: If you ever find yourself wondering what else I’ve written, some days after you’ve read THIS Speaking Ideas newsletter I send out on a Monday, here’s what you can do to find out:

Point your browser to www.sdacademy.org to read at least ONE new post added to my SD Nuggets blog on a different category from Tuesday till Saturday (sometimes even Sundays) in line with this publishing schedule :-)

****
================
Update (26th Dec. 2012 @ 12.36 pm Nigerian time):

I feel compelled to note here that I did NOT author the phrase which titles this writeup (I.e. “You Will Be Sorely Tested”). I came across it while reading James Cook’s “Startup Entrepreneur” years ago.
================

Tomorrow is Christmas day. A day on which Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. In the bible we are told of the suffering Jesus endured to fulfil his purpose on earth.

The theme of this week’s issue of my speaking IDEAS newsletter is partly related to the above i.e. understanding how adversity and suffering help YOU achieve success as a paid speaker.

I’m not talking religion here though…

As those who’ve been reading my writing for a while will know, I stopped attending Church back in 1989, in my third year of study in the University.

My reason for taking – and sticking to – that decision will probably be the subject of a future article :-)

Instead I focus here on how having to lead bible study sessions – and come up with my interpretation of the passages for discussion with others – shaped my values systems – and character – as an individual.

Stories In Religious Books About Trials & Suffering Can Be Therapeutic

I cannot speak for my siblings, but having to prepare for – and lead – those bible study sessions was quite therapeutic for me. The stories were especially instructive for me in terms of the morals and values they taught.

That was mainly because I was often getting into trouble at school, so that stories about David doing wrong and then singing his way back into God’s heart, for instance, tended to resonate with me. It taught me to forgive myself, and act better in future :-)

Then there is the David Vs. Goliath story. I’ve used it to educate many people – adults and youths – about why they must never let anyone (no matter how powerful) intimidate or oppress them.

And I practice what I preach – by using it to inspire myself to fight back successfully against abusive powerful persons (e.g. politically connected clients with abusive tendencies).

Guess what? In every instance, I found help (by taking relentless personal action) from totally unexpected quarters to the surprise of my opponents! (Google “Science of Getting Rich” and download the FREE PDF ebook to learn more about the philisophies I susbcribe to, which help me achieve these kinds of results).

Another story I have always drawn inspiration from those I read in the bible, is that of Job.

He had so much, then lost it all, and suffered humiliation, insults, from friends and his own better half, for a prolonged (seemingly hopeless) period.

But he stayed strong and firm in heart and mind – refusing to give up hope or faith in the God he (and those who rebuked him for continuing to believe!) worshipped. And eventually his circumstances were turned around to the embarrassment of all those who’d mocked and scorned him.

I STILL draw inspiration from that story today.

As matter of fact, I am so keyed into that story that I’ve used it many times, to remind some persons who actually profess Christian beliefs NOT to give up in the face of adversity!

So much so, that some have told me I should be a pastor…

But again that’s where they MISS the point: It’s not about me becoming a pastor.

It’s about ALL of us learning to take the lessons from the stories and using them to improve our abilities to achieve our valued goals!

For me, I view those bible stories the same way I regard stories told outside religious circles (e.g. the boy who cried wolf). They are to be used to teach useful lessons that guide behaviour.

But it’s not just the Bible that offers useful stories.

The story of the life of Mohammed – the Muslim leader – is one that also demonstrates the power of persistence in the face of adversity.

For over ten years, Mohammed endured hardship, poverty, and exposure to ridicule, before becoming a wealthy and powerful leader. A great story and truly inspiring story!

Similar Stories About Today’s People Are Also Helpful

Robert Kiyosaki wrote about having to (as he put it) “become comfortable with being nobody and having nothing”, to recover from a massive business setback.

He had gone from running an international multimillion dollar company to having no home and sleeping in his car.

Why did this happen? Well, just like the bible’s David, he made some costly mistakes in personal decisions he took. He was a bit reckless with the wealth he acquired early in life.

In his second coming as a millionaire, Robert is a changed man. And that’s the man most of the whole world now knows – and learns from – about building their own financial fortunes.

Burt Dubin also has a compelling story, which he shares readily.

On his website, he makes it known that he is a high school drop out. He had to deal with that handicap to get where he is today as a highly recognised mentor of paid international speakers.

Now, that’s not all. During his journey to higher levels of success, Burt reveals he has also been bankrupt twice.

But each time he dug in and persisted until he bounced back to reckoning. And he made sure to use the lessons he learnt, to keep from making the same mistakes again.

Then again, maybe I’ve drifted too far away from home to get examples you can relate to. Right here in Africa, we have one of the world’s most inspiring stories of triumph over prolonged periods of adversity.

I refer to the the story of the life of Nelson Mandela: 27 years in prison – standing firm on his belief in equal rights for his people. And eventually today, living as legend and icon of freedom recognised the world over!

Now THAT is a great story that many people will draw inspiration from.

Many Great People Were First “Sorely Tested”. To Become Great You Most Likely Will Too!

It’s not a curse :-)

I’m just making a statement of fact.

And I do so with reference, not just to my personal experiences (Lord knows I’m paying my dues in that regard!), but also to different true stories I’ve read – like those mentioned above.

It’s important – IMPERATIVE in fact – that you accept that seeking TRUE greatness in any area of endeavour (including the business of paid public speaking) may cause you to be “sorely tested”, with “frequent bad experiences” which James Cook correctly referred to as “shrewd instructors” in his New York Times bestselling book titled “The Startup Entrepreneur”.

Nelson Mandela, as we all know was “sorely tested”…physically, emotionally and psychologically – for decades BEFORE he achieved greatness.

If he had cracked under the pressures mounted on him by government agents through those years, we would not be celebrating him today. In the same way, if YOU crack under pressures of adversity, there will be nothing people can celebrate you for. Period.

In the bible, Christians are told of how Jesus got a point when he was so tested that he asked “God” that the “cup of suffering” be made to pass over him.

But then he added ‘Let thy will be done.”

Prolonged heart breaking struggles (as Cook described them in his book) will not be uncommon experiences for you, if you desire greatness.

To achieve speaking (or business) success for example, you must be willing to relentlessly “smile and dial” to get clients to hire you, no matter how many rejections you encounter.

Just in case anyone tells you suffering is bad, or “not your portion” or meant only for others, I want you to reflect on the examples drawn from the above stories. Some of the greatest people in the world are agreed on this point: There is benefit to be had in every adversity.

Four Quotes To Inspire You To Grow – By Embracing Adversity – In 2013!

In a week or so from today, we’ll be in 2013. Your mental attitude towards adversity may determine how much progress you make towards your goals, from the start of the year.

We have the benefit of access to experience based wisdom about suffering and adversity (and how to respond to them), offered by people who have achieved greatness.

I’ve compiled four of them for your consideration, as you get ready to hit the ground running in the new year…

1. James R. Cook, author of “The Startup Entrepreneur” wrote as follows:

My study of entrepreneurs so far seems to lead to the conclusion that a correlation exists between suffering and success. Entrepreneurs with modest objectives undergo moderate stress and adversity.

Those with larger ambitions will, before they succeed, endure painful struggles and overcome long, bitter periods of intense anxiety. The greater the suffering, the greater seem to be the inevitable rewards” – James R. Cook (in The Startup Entrepreneur)

2. Here’s what the late Jim Rohn (another great man) said :

Life is destined to be story of achievement in spite of adversity, not in the absence of adversity; for without adversity, achievement could not exist…. Smile at adversity and act quickly to eliminate it. Expect adversity, for it shall surely appear. Be grateful for adversity for it forces the human spirit to grow – for surely the human character is formed not in the absence of difficulty but in our response to difficulty. All things, even adversity, have their worthy purpose.” – Jim Rohn.

3. The great Emerson also offers useful insight into the inherent benefits of adversity:

When man…is pushed, tormented, defeated, he has a chance to learn something; he has been put on his wits, on his manhood, he has gained facts, learns from his ignorance, is cured of the insanity of conceit; has got moderation and real skill.” – Emerson

4. And Burt Dubin (2 decade veteran mentor of paid international speakers) provides a fitting end to this Xmas edition of my speaking IDEAS newsletter message, with these words that have inspired me since 2001, when I first read them:

Surrender to your mission. Let it have you. Your time, your energy, your total focus, your resources. Everything you’ve got. Everything..Work resolutely, tirelessly, endlessly. Nobody said it would be easy… Never give up. Have
bulldog blood. Have bulldog blood. Have bulldog blood! One morning you awaken to find your vision of the future, rooted in the wisdom of the past, is your present reality.
” – Burt Dubin

I know I said this was not a religious piece…but you might want to say a loud “Amen!to the last sentence in the above quote I’ve credited to Burt…:-)

Have a very Merry Xmas!

Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist

*Sole Agent For Burt Dubin’s Speaker Mentoring Service In Africa

Mobile: 234-803-302-1263

http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com

Tayo Solagbade is a Performance Improvement Specialist & multipreneur. He works with individuals/businesses who want to achieve highly profitable outcomes, and also with parents who want to raise real-world competent children.

Tayo earns multiple streams of income providing clients with performance improvement training/coaching, custom MS Excel-VB solutions, web marketing systems, freelance writing services, and best practice extension support services (for farm business owners).

When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Self-Development Nuggets™ blog, and Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter (which he publishes to promote Burt Dubin’s Public Speaking Mentoring service to experts working across the African continent).

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Have you been undecided about whether or not to become a paid speaker? Or have you been trying to get your speaking career off the ground with little success?

Here’s a tip: Burt Dubin works with people who want to be speakers, and with speakers who want to be masters. Click here to visit his website NOW and submit a contact form message telling him what challenges you’re facing, and how you’d like him to help you. Tell him I sent you, and you’ll get a pleasant surprise offer from him.

Comments?

What do you think of the above message? Do you have any personal experience to share on this subject? Are there some other points you feel can be added, to help persons looking for answers? Please share your thoughts!

Share this issue!

Do you know anyone who might benefit from reading this newsletter issue? Why not hit the forward button now, and send it to him/her with a short recommendation. You can also use share it via your social media channels. Thanks in advance.

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What fears or doubts are keeping you from (a) taking up Burt Dubin’s monthly speaker mentoring, or (b) buying his products?

You can choose to purchase Burt’s mentoring at any of the three (3) levels listed below:

1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Burt’s three mentoring packages can be likened to the seating options offered by airlines: Budget Delight (Economy); Mid Range (Business); and Top Shelf (First Class).

At least that’s how I like to think of them!

All three will get you to your desired destination of “speaking success-ville” – so long as you meet the requirements/play your part well (your fare, abide by the set guidelines etc). During the “flight”, the seat you have will determine how much personal service attention and preference the provider will accord you. It’s that simple :-)

So, make your choice:1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Send me an e-mail with your questions via tayo at tksola dot com. In the meantime, why not get started by subscribing here to get his 7-Part Course (How To Succeed And Get Paid As A Professional Speaker) .  . . and receive his monthly newsletter (Speaking Biz Strategies Letter) at no cost.

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How Far Should You Go To Get Comments?

Are You Still Trying To Crack The Code For Getting Regular Comments?

If YES, then this article may help you refine the choices you make, to include the use of only ethical practices to achieve your goal.

I’ve written it to offer guidance to blog owners or administrators who may feel pressured to get comments in at all cost.

My message is that an “all’s fair in war” or “anything goes” attitude towards getting visitors to comment on your blog, can actually hurt you more than it could possibly help you.

Is Your Blog Already Getting Regular Comments?

If yes, let me ask you the following questions:

1. How do you get visitors to comment on your blog on a regular basis?

2. What was your blog’s average comments count per post like when you initially launched out?

3. Were people always falling over themselves to post their comments?

4. Or did you have to go out of your way to get your readers to speak up.

Whatever Answers You Give To The Above, I Suggest You Avoid Using Any Of The Following Methods To Get Comments In

Let me make it clear that what I say here is my personal opinion.

Having said that however, I add that I’m not trying to preach at anyone from a position of self-righteousness.

Instead I challenge you to consider what your readers would think of you, if they found out that you use either of the methods I’ve advised against below.

If you know they will not be upset or disappointed to learn you use those methods, then by all means continue.

Otherwise, make needed changes.

Would You Go This Far, To Get Comments?

1. Comments Seeding?

This appears to be a method developed by well intentioned honest blog owners.

It is infact recommended by a well known, high income earning blogger, in an ebook on the subject.

The idea is basically to post comments on your own blog post, using an alias or possibly a pen name of some sort.

Your purpose would not be to deceive, but to stimulate the reader’s interest in posting a comment, by starting the process using your alias.

Those who advocate this approach argue that most readers may not wish to be the first to comment. And that they tend to comment on posts that aleady have one or two comments.

I say end your post with an invitation to comment or share thoughts on the post’s topic.

You could go further and offer gifts or prizes to encourage visitors to comment qualitatively and actively.

2. Buddy Commenting?

Yeremi Akpan touched on this method of getting blog comments in a recent post titled “Are You Committing Incest With Your Blog?”.

It occurs in various forms, but basically involves getting a group of friends, affiliate partners, and others in your network of regular contacts to commit deliberate effort towards commenting on each of your blog posts.

And you would return the favour to each one of them, whenever they publish their separate blog posts…:-)

I’m going to be blunt here:

I totally dislike this method. And I’ve come across enough blogs that use it, to know that it’s bad for the Internet’s content quality control.

For instance, when an uninitiated visitor to such a blog sees a high comments count on a post, she’s likely to anticipate it offers potentially useful content.

However, since buddy commenting is practiced on the blog, a real danger exists that poor quality posts may still enjoy a lot of “Great post. Thanks for sharing!” obligatory back-slapping buddy comments which NAUSEATE me so much!

Imagine just how let down a visitor would feel after arriving at that kind of post via a Google search?

If more of such blogs were to come up, trying to guage blog content quality, based on comments counts, would gradually become a waste of time!

Final Words

As a blog owner looking to jumpstart or boost comment counts on your posts, I recommend taking the high road from the beginning.

That way you’ll be free from conscience attacks of any sort, if nothing else.

If you already use either of the above described methods to get comments on your blog, I suggest you stop doing so altogether.

What You Can Do:

Based on what I’ve said above, the path to follow is obvious.

Use ethically responsible methods to get your readers to comment on your posts.

For ideas you can use, read my post titled “Is Your Blog Productive, Or Just Plain Busy? (Interesting Arguments For & Against Blog Comments)”.

It feaures links to articles by competent blogging experts like Matt Smith, offering sound advice you can reliably follow, to attract comments to your blog posts.

Goodluck.

A Unique Ability Your Child Needs

“I have succeeded in whatever I have undertaken, because I have WILLED it. I have never hesitated, which has given me an advantage over the rest of mankind” – Napoleon

A Quality That Separates Achievers From Others

One of the distinguishing qualities of people who excel is their willingness to do what few or no other other persons have ever done before. In other words, they tend to readily embrace risk taking.

They are the ones you’ll find stepping up when others draw back in the face of uncertainty, looming crisis or danger.

From entrepreneurs to sportsmen and even war generals, the risk taking proclivity of an individual is often what ends up separating her from the rest of the pack.

And it enables her succeed ahead of contemporaries.

But many who have succeeded this way will tell you that it was no easy achievement. A lot of struggle, pain and suffering frequently visits those who choose this path.

In my language (Yoruba), we have a saying : “Eni to ba fe se nkan t’enikan o se ri, a ri nkan t’enikan o ri ri”.

This literally translates to mean “He who wants to do what no one has done before, will see what no one has seen before!

But Were They Like That From Birth?

Not every person who displays a penchant for risk taking in adult life actually had that disposition in childhood.

I’ve read accounts about people who today are regarded as tough, bold and daring, who relatives revealed to have been quite timid and introverted in their formative years.

And then maybe some personal crises or other potentially traumatizing experience may have led to her transformation. Sometimes she may have witnessed a loved one get hurt, possibly because she was too frozen with fright to take action to solve the problem.

And that memory or a feeling of guilt may have caused her to decide never to give in to fear again.

Sometimes They Take Emotional – And Not Just Physical – Risks!

Yes. Sometimes the achievers I refer to above, set themselves apart by being willing to take the risk of being different, being wrong…or failing in public.

Good examples are inventors who use their creative, and sometimes very contrarian thinking, to develop solutions that help the world’s societies progress.

Before being eventually proved right, those who mustered the courage to voice their inspired convictions were ridiculed.

In certain bizarre cases, some of such inventors were taken by friends and loved ones to have their sanity checked at mental health facilities.

This happened because the ideas they proposed were – at the time – considered ridiculous.

One good example that I’ve written about in the past is Robert Goddard (click to read), who today has the American Space Center named after him.

Read my article titledWhy You May Want To Rejoice When Others Mock You! (click to read)

Help Your Kids Develop Their Instincts

The above example proves that we need to tell our kids to follow their convictions, and never give up.

Napoleon’s quote, which I started this piece with, accurately reflects the mental attitude he had, which made him an exceptionally successful war general.

Historical accounts indicate that he was renowned for being non-hesitant in the way he waged war. And he often put himself in the line of fire, with a boldness that inspired fierce loyalty from his soldiers in battle.

Napoleon posessed keenly developed instincts based on years of applying himself to the rigours of his vocation as a soldier. And he formed a habit of following his instincts. This led him to record many great victories.

The key to your child’s success lies in his/her ability to competently decide when to follow gut instinct.

We humans have always been born with a sixth sense. It’s there, but only when we make conscious effort to develop it, does it really begin to serve us as well as it can.

And the best way to develop one’s instincts is to expose oneself to real-life experiences that test their abilities to their limits. Simply put, let them get a LOT of experience under their belts, in as many challenging fields of interest as possible.

Let them learn what it feels like to be on their own, taking decisions that will determine the outcome they seek.

Give them the opportunity to experience being away from your reassuring and controlling presence e.g. In boading school, as boys’ scout or girls guides members, by participating in competitive sports etc.

They’ll learn to think for themselves, and to decide what they really want in life. And they will eventually develop the conviction needed to decide what they will be willing to go out on a limb for.

That ability will serve them well later on in their adult lives, giving them an advantage over others. And it could even lead them to achieve notable successes in their chosen fields.

Will You Sink, If Your Boss Leaves?

Nick, the Technical Manager, suddenly announced he was going on leave.

Oyat had just resumed his new position as Training and Technical Development Manager (TTDM) less than 3 months earlier.

But even though he knew the job reasonably well (having acted twice in that capacity), he’d never had to do it without what he considered the reassuring presence of the TM as department head (HOD).

So, the prospect of having to cover for Nick by attending management meetings with other HODs was not one that greatly appealed to him.

Nick had apparently already made his plans, and after briefing Oyat, took off on leave.

For over 6 weeks afterwards, Oyat found himself dealing directly with other HODs on issues relating to his own job as well as the TM’s.

Realising that he had to do his best to avoid making the department fall short of expectations, Oyat quickly adopted a modified daily routine to accomodate the additional responsibilities assigned him.

He stayed back longer to read up notes, memos and other documents, such as the Job description for Nick’s position, to better understand the role he might need to play on the company’s premises.

In addition, he studied reports sent by other HODs to the TM, noting the Key Performance Indicators (KPI) that were given priority attention.

Recalling that senior managers from headquarters could also call for information along the above lines, Oyat then made a point of tracking latest data for each KPI, by liasing with the relevent department’s duty personnel.

The 6 weeks went by fast. And all through, Oyat worked longer hours when necessary to cover potential loose ends he identified.

As he attended to the requirements of the TM’s job, he also had to manage 6 engineering trainees, 3 training instructors and the secretary.

And that was apart from fulfilling his responsibilities as a member of a few project teams.

Steeling himself (and pleading that his wife imagine he did not exist for the duration of the double role playing), he diligently went the extra mile to ensure everything that needed to be done, got done.

Towards the end of his trial by fire, it suddenly occurred to him that he had settled in to a comfortable routine for doing the key tasks relevant to Nick’s job, and his (there was a lot in the former, that he was of course not competent or required to handle).

It was exciting and quite fulfilling to discover that the challenge of the trial had not overwhelmed him.

And he was glad, based on hindsight, that he had resisted the temptation to protest or complain when Nick had first muted the idea.

Not only had he gained valuable management experience and exposure at a senior level of decision making, but he had also proven that he could hold his own should the need arise.

From experience, he knew that top management would remember that in future career advancement evaluations. And that made his efforts worthwhile!