Self-Devpt. Nuggets™

Nothing can be worse than having a low opinion of yourself. It sets you up to fail perpetually. It is important to realize that you can be financially comfortable (e.g. having a good job) and still “fail perpertually” by being ineffective in your interpersonal relationships, due to a low self esteem.

This article explains why you need to help your child develop a healthy level of self-esteem, if she is to excel in adult life. Without this preparation, she could develop into one of those who end up as doormats for others to step on.

That’s not something anyone deserves to experience – least of all a loved one!

It Often Boils Down to Simple Psychology

Many people fail to realize that the quickest – and easiest – way to defeat a stronger person is often to get him or her to feel inferior or inadequate.

Rarely will you really need to physically engage a bully, if you understand the above truth. Simply identify what you can say, or do, to make the deep seated insecurity (that makes him seek ways to oppress others), come to the surface, and you WILL put him in his place – permanently.

In martial arts – and indeed most forms of confrontation – people who emerge victorious most frequently, are often adept at playing psychological games.

Some good examples include Michael Jordan, Jose Mourinho – and even better: Mohammed Ali!

Think about what made/makes the above individuals stand out in the vocations they were noted for, and you’ll understand what I mean.

What You Have Inside of You is What Makes You

Small sized individuals with healthy levels of self-esteem (in addition to courage and determination), can often out perform others who are physically bigger or stronger than they are in various areas of endeavour.

That was why Bruce Lee achieved legendary status as a martial arts expert. Despite his “small size”, he famously took on much bigger opponents, defeating them within seconds.

It takes having a deep seated belief in yourself, to stand up to others in that manner, despite the fact that you appear to be at a glaring disadvantage. What’s more, being that way takes practice. Plenty of practice. Very few people can claim to have been born with such an ability. And traditional schools do not teach it.

That’s why those who develop that competence are few compared to the majority of people in the society. It’s so anti-intuitive to be that way.

After all, does it not make more sense – common sense – to expect that bigger, seemingly stronger persons will defeat smaller, seemingly weaker persons? For most people the answer would be yes – especially the uninitiated.

And if you asked them to place bets, many would bet against their own blood relative, if s/he got paired up against a bigger opponent in a competition.

But Why Are We – Humans – So Full of Self-Doubt & Unbelief In Our Own Abilites?

"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt" – Bertrand Russel

Well it’s what society has taught us. We are taught to focus – too much, and too often – on what is on the outside. What we can see and touch.

I however think the Asians are better off than the rest of us are in this regard.

Being the originators of martial arts, which emphasize the need to develop and nurture inner strength as a means to confronting – and defeating – opponents, their culture encourages people to focus on what is inside a person.

When you do that, you begin to see more than the average person sees in others. You gain insight – deeper insights – into the personalities and characters of those you relate with. And you reap wisdom about how best to relate with them – to get what you want.

This is something that you can apply successfully in your personal and business life.

This is a Skill You Want to Pass On to Your Child

Yes, the ability to achieve and maintain a healthy level of self-esteem – and self-mastery – is one that’s worth passing on to your child.

Why? Because from a very early age, it will make her less focused on the more obvious external stuff about herself, and those she associates with. The result, over time, will be that she develops a capacity for reflection, and deep thinking.

That process will lead her to a deeper level of self-knowing, that would fuel her desire to actualize the deep seated potential she will discover she has. And that, more than most of her peers could ever achieve.

On the outside, others will notice this in form of her seeming lack of fear, and apparent self-confidence in every area of endeavour. This will include the inevitable moments when she will encounter failure – or what would more accurately be called "temporary defeat".

When a child achieves this level of competence, the sky effectively becomes the limit for her, in terms of what she will be capable of achieving.

That’s the kind of mental attitude that true champions in life have. By this I mean the kinds of champions who, even when they falter (e.g. they fall off the top of the charts to the bottom due to a BIG mistake), still doggedly climb right back to the top. In other words, they can reproduce their success almost at will – no matter how long it takes.

I’ve already mentioned some examples of such "champions" from the past – at the start of this article. But there’s also a very recent example that is quite noteworthy. One that many people probably never thought they would see:

I refer to the return of Tiger Woods – a few weeks ago – to being the number one golfer in the world.

That’s not the kind of thing that average people do. Especially when you consider the circumstances under which he lost his top spot, and the publicity that came with the scandal he got himself into.

It takes unshakeable faith in your abilities, and great mental stamina, to achieve that kind of comeback. And that  will often be strongly positively correlated to the level of self-esteem an individual has.

This – SELF-MASTERY – Is What Makes People like Jordan, Mourinho, Ali and Woods Get Referred to as UNSTOPPABLE!

Wouldn’t it be great if you could help your child develop similar qualities to the above greats?

I think it would be – and I’m determined to help my kids do just that. And it does not have to be in sports. Any area of endeavour they venture would serve just as well.

A key strategy I’ve adopted is to refer them to the lives of relevant achievers, and also to practice what I preach, as a role model for them to emulate.

I suggest that you also invest, from today, as much time and effort as you can muster in helping your child develop the qualities described in this article..

You need NO money to achieve this.

But if you do it right, you are very likely to set her on the right path to achieving any goals she sets for herself!