Self-Devpt. Nuggets™

Many adults know the “joke” about parents (especially fathers) who tell their kids that they (the parent) always came first in class (even when they did not) during their schooling days. They then use that “claim” to demand that their kids deliver similar performances.

The irony is however often that the achievements of most of such parents in real-life, post-school, tend not to justify the claims they make, and some of their kids, who are perceptive enough, readily notice that.

Some people seem to feel a need to impress others by making false claims about their abilities and/or past accomplishments. The point I am making is that adults, often taking a cue from prevailing societal preferences and values, sometimes feel pressured to present themselves in a manner that will win them approval from a larger audience.

That is not bad in itself, IF the person then takes steps to ACQUIRE the knowledge/competencies that will confer on him/her the ABILITY to achieve at the level of proficiency s/he wishes to be acknowledged for.

The problem however is that some of these people are NOT prepared to work that hard to get such results. They prefer instead to take shortcuts that win them the rewards they seek without the PAINS.

So they LIE.

That’s when a job applicant states military experience in his resume dating back to before he was born! Or an interviewee presents samples of past completed works, which turn out – by a twist of fate – to have actually been those done by his INTERVIEWER!!

It would interest you to know that the examples I just gave are REAL and were obtained from the published results of a recent survey conducted in the US titled “Who lies more on resumes?”. Visit the link below to read the full report.

http://blogs.techrepublic.com.com/career/?p=381&tag=nl.e101.

People who get ahead by using these dishonest methods are often quite adept at generating excuses for the subsequent poor performance they inevitably deliver. It’s either they were not told on time, that the task or assignment was urgent/time bound. Or a power glitch damaged their PC/flash drive just at the moment they wanted to email the finished work or print it out.

Also, these people will usually be the first to kick against attempts to define roles/responsibilities clearly for proper accountability in their teams. This is because they know their survival depends on ensuring they stay hidden from scrutiny, while they ride on the efforts of other members.

No one is (and no one can be) perfect, but in order to continually function at our best, it is good to strive perpetually towards perfection. I suggest ways to avoid falling into the trap of feeling the need to claim you CAN when you KNOW you do not have the competence to DO SO.

1. Learn to speak TRUTH. A lie is a lie. When you prevaricate, it is still a lie! Learn to say exactly what you can do, and DON’T put any icing on it. If you can build simple spreadsheets with formulas, don’t claim you can also use VBA code, with Windows API calls to create top end custom Excel-VB driven spreadsheet software like those you saw on a website last month! You never know who will remember what you said, and come calling some time in the future to ask you to do something THAT advanced for them.

2. Know What You Want. When you acquire skills and knowledge related to what you WANT to do, you will usually need no push or prodding from others to keep doing so on a consistent basis. By implication, you will easily stay on the cutting edge of latest developments in your field. Telling others you can do something in relation to that area, will therefore not pose any risk to you or your integrity.

3. Believe In Yourself. You must develop your self-esteem to the point that you KNOW, and are thoroughly convinced that it is not what others say (or how they feel about you, or act towards you), that determines if you are good or not good at what you do. Learn to feel good about yourself regardless of what happens outside of you.

This is something that is very hard for a lot of people to do. Yet, working hard at it will actually end up making you come across as self-confident, assertive and at ease with yourself. The foregoing are all qualities that most people are attracted to – meaning you still end up winning not just the approval of others, but also their respect and admiration. In essence, you would have achieved the same end result, BUT without having to use dishonest methods.

In life, the people who end up succeeding with integrity, are those who are true to themselves EVERY day. Make a point of ALWAYS ensuring that you say ONLY what you can do, and DO what you say you will do. Doing so will earn you a reputation that will make others believe in, and respect you EVERYWHERE you go.