Self-Devpt. Nuggets™

Most kids love people who teach them new things they can put to immediate productive use. If they discover you’re like that, they can even pass up meal times, to pick up some new knowledge or skill from you!

How do I know this?

It’s because I’ve worked with other people’s kids (especially those from six years old and above), and successfully influenced them in that manner, very many times.

I’m Not Referring to Formal Academics Here…

Just like everything else in life, it is important to strike an intelligent balance in providing learning. Academics are just one of a number of learning dimensions to function successfully in society.

However, sometimes parents tend to be busy with their own work. Some feel they cannot afford to take time off to provide other kinds of learning i.e. the non-academic kind. Others feel it is not necessary.

Some believe the child will learn on his/her own whatever is needed in that regard.
My experiences confirm that’s not good enough. No parent should leave his/her child exposed in that manner, to avoidable anxiety, confusion and even potentially traumatizing suffering.

Some Examples of Non-Academic Things Your Child May Need to Learn:

Does your teenager know where the market or shopping mall you do your buy is? Can s/he take over your tasks in the event of an emergency? Does s/he know anything about handling members of the opposite sex? What about how to make common dishes you feed him/her? Can s/he in fact find his/her way around the kitchen?

These are things we often forget our kids will have to do as adults.

Does it not make sense that they learn early how, and get a lot of practise before that time comes?

Based on my painful personal experiences growing up, I say YES!

Coaching Your Child to Learn Such Things Can Be Easier Than You Think

It does not matter the number of sex education books your child reads. The stories YOU can share with him/her will often turn out to be more instructive than all s/he reads in books!

It always amazes me how many street-smart parents fail to pass on their street savvy to their offspring. Instead they pet and pamper them till they become incapable of independent thought or action.

The above situation can doom even an academically talented child to failure in life as an adult.

Apart from telling then stories, demonstrating how to do something kids want to learn about (e.g. making cakes and biscuits…see below) is also an effective strategy. I know because I use is successfully on a regular basis.

The Problem Is: Many Parents Are Not Connecting Enough with Their Kids

That’s often why such parents fail to function as coach-parents.

It’s not about how much time you spend with them. It’s the quality of time that matters.

When they do wrong, give firm corrective feedback, but always have something ready to cushion the impact of what you say to the child.

Usually, it is best to use an activity or subject that’s likely to be interesting or exciting to them.

My kids know what folder to go on my laptop to watch the new You tube demonstration videos I tell them I’ve found. They are often on subjects or themes I’ve identified will be useful for them.

Once they’re done watching, you can be sure they’ll be trying out what they learnt!

The two videos below are recent examples:

1. How To Turn A Beer Can Into The Only Camping Stove You’ll Ever Need
2. How To Bake A Cake Without An Oven

After watching the video, two of the boys sat down and immediately put what they learnt to use.

Suddenly, I began seeing small “beer can stoves” all over the house.

Then since I’d brought home the charcoal stove I used to make my pineapple peel cakes, they soon pressure me to show them how to bake cakes using it.

It is noteworthy that getting a charcoal stove started takes a lot of work.

When they first started, the kids bitterly complained that I did not let them add kerosene, to quicken the burning. I told them the ideas of using charcoal bricks was to save money, and that using kerosene would be an avoidable added expense.

So they had to burn paper, nylons, and then fan the embers vigorously for up to 5 minutes continuously. But they kept at it, because they wanted to make the cakes!

See how what they wanted, motivated them to endure, and get used to what they initially disliked?

We made the first batch of cakes on the morning of 31st December 2013. By midnight of that day, the 3 boys were still up working as a team to finish baking the cakes they’d prepared.

The next morning (New Year’s day), I pointed out that the cakes were not fully “cooked”. So they made the charcoal fire again, and put the cakes back on.

You see after their first success “making the fire”, doing it again was no problem!

And that was a major psychological victory for them. Such lessons are NOT learnt in academic class!

Later that day, they proudly showed off the finished cakes (those they’d not gobbled up that is!) to their grandmother. Interestingly, they even discovered how to make biscuits, quite by accident. So this project yielded and extra unplanned benefit