Self-Devpt. Nuggets™

This article is a sequel to the piece on my blog titled “How to Establish Truth, and Experience Less Doubt“.

Like I said in that piece, to use your sixth sense simply LISTEN to your deepest feelings, and act on them. However, sometimes those “feelings” may not be distinct enough for you make your mind up.

When that happens, you may have to “walk blind” i.e. face such situations on your own…not knowing what to expect, and letting things play themselves out.

Sometimes you’ll misread positive situations negatively (e.g. paranoia arising from previous bad experiences), or assume a negative situation to be positive (e.g. naivety/wishful thinking).

This “dilemma” is likely to occur less often, as you master use of your 6th sense. But it’s unlikely to ever go away completely – as long as we’re human.

For each person, the situations that cause this dilemma will naturally differ.

What is important is that you work hard to develop reliable real world relevant competence at whatever you do. That will see you through instances when you’re getting mixed signals from your 6th sense.

I Describe Six Real-Life Scenarios in Which Using the 6th Sense Can Be Very Challenging

1. Dealing with Anchorless Social Chameleons

Some years ago, I wrote an article on Emotional Intelligence that ended up being widely syndicated and extensively quoted in published journals online.

In it, I described the positive attributes of a Social Chameleon, as described by Daniel Goleman, author of the book “Emotional Intelligence”. He also mentioned that some people take this ability to the extreme by using it to manipulate others.

They become duplicitous, constantly trying to pretend to be who they are not, in an effort to get what they want from those they relate with.

Goleman described these kinds of persons as ANCHORLESS Social Chameleons. Examples include con men (or women). People who make a living from gaining people’s trust in order to defraud, cheat, or even hurt them.

Have you ever had to relate with that kind of person at work or in your personal life?

They can be so hard to pin down! And some are SO GOOD at what they do, that even when your 6th sense helps you correctly catch them out, they can put up such an act that you end up thinking you were wrong, and apologizing to them!!

Anyone who has been in love with a two-timing partner may understand what I mean:

You had this GREAT relationship everyone admired you for. Yet, every now and then you got a strong feeling your “partner” was not being straight with you. But each time you tried to establish truth by bringing it up, you always came away feeling like a jerk…until one day, you caught him/her red-handed!

2. Scam or Con artists Playing Mind Games

Two-faced people. In certain societies, duplicity is almost an accepted way of life. People learn from an early age to use deception to get what the want.

A person from a society where sincerity and trust rank high (even if with a keenly honed 6th sense), is more likely to get “duped”, if s/he has dealings with someone from a society where duplicity reigns.

Why? Because the use of the 6th sense is always a function of the experiences one is exposed to. In such societies, it will take you time to “train” your 6th sense to competently guide your decision making.

This is why foreigners often tend to be easy prey when they visit such societies. It’s also why the famed 419 Internet fraudsters recorded such great success in the early years, before people LEARNT.

3. Spies and Terrorists Working Undercover

Consider members of terrorist groups who infiltrate societies and organisations. What about men and women who live double lives as spies – working for their countries security agencies?

These people skilfully maintain relationships with different groups of people, while living double lives.

Few suicide bombers’ associates know what they’re involved in – until they made the news!

These people succeed because others rarely use their 6th senses to find them out. Their ability to pass lie detector tests is apparently not fabled. I’ve read that some actually get trained to do that!

4. Wanting “Something” A Bit Too Badly

If you’re too emotionally and/or psychologically tied to a desired outcome, you could misinterpret or become totally dead to signals from your 6th sense.

Sometimes, the other person could be very skilled at “masking” signals s/he gives out, leaving you inadequate “information” to feed your “truth meter”.

We need to watch out, for mixed signals arising from our subconscious unwillingness, to accept the truth our 6th sense may try to tell us.

A lady dating a two timing chap could force herself to believe she’s the only one in his life – despite sensing that the opposite is the case.

One example from a real life experience.

As a desperate start-up seeking clients in 2005, I repeatedly “chased” a rich but mischievous prospective client, who made me jump through many hoops, pretending to be interested.

Each day I was with him, a quiet voice kept telling me he was just “jerking my chain”.

But he looked so fatherly (he was greying) and acted so nice, that I dismissed the thought – repeatedly. I SAW he could afford to pay me – and felt that was enough.

He was interested. What I stupidly failed to note was that he was the kind who liked to cheat others – to get something for nothing. Some people get rich through that means. And that often makes them bad clients. Your 6th sense should help you detect that. I did not apply mine – and I learnt a painful lesson.

After over 5 visits, he had requested (and gotten), from me, a printed 10 page proposal – FREE. This was in addition to picking my brain for hours on end. Then he said he would get in touch with me.

A week later, I learnt through an employee of his that all he got from me had been passed to a nephew of his, who was a web designer, to use in building a website for his company.

So, he’d just used me! That experience taught me to  require a refundable fee payment, to provide proposals or discuss project aspects in depth.

5. Dealing With Temptations in Moments of Weakness

Why didn’t I see that coming? That’s a question I’ve sometimes asked myself many times, after discovering I’ve been taken for a ride.

When you’re having financial challenges, even  “fraudulent” offers you’d normally use your 6th sense to sniff out may tend to “miss” you.

That’s when you start giving bogus email offers you would normally ignore a second look

In such moments of weakness, even situations you would normally handle competently with your 6th sense can become unduly challenging.

People I know to be intelligent and analytical thinkers, have surprised me by responding to fraudulent phone SMS messages that informed them they’d won money, in UK lotteries!

In one instance, after I’d advised that it was a scam offer, one such person went ahead to call the number provided. When she was asked to send money over to get details, she saw I was right.

I’d “seen” enough of (but never replied to) those kinds of SMS messages to become numb to them. But she – like the others – was yet to get that far. They however only acted out of character because they were under financial pressures.

In their normal states of mind, when they were not in need, they would have readily deleted such messages without even reading them.

But as human beings, when bills are mounting, and expected income is delayed, everything that comes our way offering promise of some income suddenly gets our serious attention.

It’s that subtle “wishful thinking” that makes it so hard to stay properly tuned in to our 6th sense.

It takes GREAT mental discipline to fight this feeling when it comes. We must key in to our 6th sense to see such phoney offers for what they are.

6. Getting Carried Away by One’s Success

Sometimes we could just be absent minded. People sometimes get careless when things start going well for them. As a result, they miss signals their 6th sense throws up.

This is why I argue that knowing how your 6th sense works, does not mean you’ll be able to competently use it to reach your goals on a long term basis.

Different situations will occur, requiring you to apply your 6th sense is varying ways. Not all will be familiar to you – meaning you’ll have to guess.

That’s why I offer in this article, real life examples in which the 6th sense was used. Reading them can help you better prepare for what you may face.

You’d Have to Be Psychic to Always Get It Right

Napoleon Hill wrote extensively about using the sixth sense in “Think and Grow Rich”. We were all born with it. Our ancestors were however more aware of that innate ability and put it to great use.

For entrepreneurs, especially those starting out, consider getting a copy of James Cook’s “Start-up Entrepreneur”. I’ve repeatedly referred to it as “The Missing Chapters In Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich”.

Why?

It’s because Cook provides amazingly deep insights on how to deal with adversity, and uncertainty, as a first time start-up.

In that New York Times Bestseller, he shared, based on his personal experiences, practical examples of how he used his “intuition” to choose the right people to work with him as employees, and to detect persons not being straight with him.

But like I said earlier, no one can be perfect in this art. As humans we will sometimes get it wrong.

For instance, had he been perfect in his use of intuition, Cook may probably not have brought in shareholders/board members who later turned around and tried to kick him out of his company!

Over 10 months of boardroom battling took place. Luckily, his 51% ownership, and refusal to give in to their antics enabled him emerge victorious.

Final Words:  When You Struggle To Use Your 6th Sense, See It As a Learning Opportunity

There are times when I feel like someone launched a signal to “jam” my 6th sense “lie/truth detector”!

I simply get mixed messages or none at all.

When that happens, I’ve learnt to – as I said at the start of this piece – walk blind. I simply monitor trends and traits I can use to make up my mind.

Unlike the instant “gut level feeling” the 6th sense gives, this approach may take weeks to yield fruit.

You’ll be exposed to potentially negative outcomes. If any manifest, just dust yourself off, and move on.

In the end, you’ll often emerge tougher. What’s more, my experiences indicate these things sometimes happen for our own good.

We may not be able to use our 6th sense to solve every puzzle or avoid every danger.

There will be times, when our inability to quickly apply our 6th sense, will be meant to help us grow.

When (not if) it happens to you, make the most of it!