Recently, I read a write-up by a coach advising against taking risks in starting a business, without having a safety net in place first.

He argued that it would be wiser to hold on to some safety net (like a job) until your new venture takes off fully and you’re certain it will stay up, giving examples of well known individuals, who in his assessment made use of such safety nets to secure their successes.

Now, I do not disagree that it pays to take precautions and setup plans to fall back on in case things go south in the venture you embark on.

That’s just common sense!

What I simply did not agree with was the manner he presented the idea of following one’s dream by burning one’s bridges.

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Tayo Solagbade’s
Performance Improvement IDEAS
(PI Squared) Newsletter

NB: This PI Squared newsletter will be published weekly, on Mondays, in place of the Speaking/Web Marketing IDEAS newsletter, starting from today – 15th February 2016. I’m reinventing my Monday newsletter content and theme, to accommodate my vision of serving the growing audience of serious minded individuals and organizations reaching out to me, with information, education. news and research findings designed to help them do what they do better.

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PII 013: Sometimes When Your World Feels Like it’s Falling Apart, It May Actually be Evolving to a New Level of Success [Hint: Why Burning One’s Bridges Works Better In Pursuit of Success]

Recently, I read a write-up by a coach advising against taking risks in starting a business, without having a safety net in place first.

He argued that it would be wiser to hold on to some safety net (like a job) until your new venture takes off fully and you’re certain it will stay up, giving examples of well known individuals, who in his assessment made use of such safety nets to secure their successes.

Now, I do not disagree that it pays to take precautions and setup plans to fall back on in case things go south in the venture you embark on.

That’s just common sense!

What I simply did not agree with was the manner he presented the idea of following one’s dream by burning one’s bridges.

He made it look like there was often more to be lost than one could ever hope to gain.

It is however my considered opinion that nothing could be further from the truth. I say this from 14 solid years of building a business from scratch, while struggling BADLY to support my wife and kids – after burning all my bridges to achieve the growing success I enjoy today.

I argue below, that that those who go for their dreams without assurance of a safety net, often emerge better rounded and more competent, than those who lean on safety nets to get to the top.

This is because they get forced to dig deeper than others who operate in the secure knowledge that they have a safety net to fall back on. As a result, they end up having more staying power to remain at the top for the long term. In contrast, persons who use safety nets tend to lack the “steely” quality needed to deal with and overcome inevitable setbacks – hence they tend to stay small and play safe.

History attests the veracity of the above statement. Those who had to pursue success under swim-or-sink circumstances are the ones noted for exceptional accomplishments that most others find hard to imagine themselves doing.

I happen to have met and worked closely with people belonging to both groups. Guess what? Those who get there without safety nets often have better quality advice to share!

Exposure to suffering happens in degrees, and the ability of each person to persist in pursuit of his/her goals despite the suffering, ultimately determines how successful s/he becomes.

This is why we have entrepreneurs who are able to bounce back to higher levels of success no matter how many times they encounter setbacks or failure. Those who muster the courage to go after what they want even when they have nothing to fall back on are often those who develop such resilience.

Not just that, they are also often those who help society to take badly needed quantum leaps in terms of development or advancement, using the solutions they discover in the process of battling to find ways to escape the prolonged suffering they find themselves confronted with.

Take it from me as one who has been there many times.

If I had had anything to fall back on during a major part of the past 14 years of building my brand as a provider of custom Excel-VB software in a market that it did not previously exist, I would NEVER have gained the insights I used at this stage where I get buyers from different part of the world PERSISTING in reaching out to me.

The thousands of lonely hours I spent thinking (and thinking and thinking!) of how to build Excel apps that people would buy, and how to do my marketing to the right people with as little money as possible, are what led me to develop apps that today earn me income from within and outside Africa.

Is it possible for a soldier to go through training in the military academy without being made to face and learn to deal with pain, hardship, deprivation and even some form of suffering?

How would such a soldier fare in the battle field over weeks and months as happens during real time war?

What about an athlete who wants to win a medal at the Olympics?

Will taking it easy when s/he feels the pain is getting too much really get him/her to the point where s/he can really stand a chance of winning?

The answers to the above are obvious!

“Every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent benefit”

Napoleon Hill made the above statement in his book, noting that it is often up to the person undergoing the adversity to search for, find and take possession of that benefit.

Let me tell you this dear reader. I do not know how you came to discover this website or how long you’ve been reading my stuff, but what you see here is a product of YEARS of undiluted and unwavering persistence in the face of great suffering and major deprivation.

Like I said in a past article, even though I now enjoy growing success and recognition for what I do today, I continue to work on my brand as if nothing has changed.

I still write original articles virtually everyday on this blog – and that is despite doing same for clients who have hired me too ghostwrite for them.

Not just that, I have several groups of clients that I write and publish learning resources for every week.

On top of that, I provide one on one coaching as I travel, while responding to buyer requests for product information,; and providing support to users of my software.

So many times in my journey to success, while doing the above, I repeatedly experienced peaks and troughs i.e. progress and setbacks.

Quite often when the latter happened it felt like my entire world was falling apart. In the early stages I wanted to run into hiding from the resulting embarrassment.

But because I had no safety nets, there was never any place to run to, so I was forced every single time to confront my demons (figuratively speaking) and exorcise them.

Click here to read a PDF in which I shared examples of several painful experiences I had during those years of struggle. It was so bad I began to call myself the Bambiala of the Solagbade family.

The result of all that suffering, and my relentless persistence in refusing to give up, was that I developed new and better skills, got more competent, while learning to weather the storms of adversity whenever they occurred.

Today, I tell people all the time that it is virtually impossible for anyone to know if I have a problem, no matter how bad it  is, if I do not tell them. That is how much control I have over myself.

The best part is that my exceptional proficiency now makes me get valued virtually everywhere I go, in a way that continues to help me make more money – AND SAVE lots of it too.

True Story: An example of the latter benefit i.e. saving money

Over the past 3 weeks I have been using the Internet here in Cotonou, in a cyber café whose owner was so impressed with my knowledge and skills in Web Marketing that he’s given me an unlimited 24 hour Internet browsing account, as part payment for my Web Marketing coaching.

Considering the fact that I spend over 10  to 18 hours per day most days in cyber cafes here at about 0.5 US dollars per hour, the savings I’m making are quite hefty!

Another True Story (Coming soon):

In a few months from now, I will share details of a true story of something that happened to me about 4 weeks ago, that should have ruined me completely, but which I have used as a stepping stone to open multiple doors of new opportunities in my business that I never even thought possible.

Up till now, I have told very few people, and even fewer know the full extent of the devastation visited upon me i:e I’ve deliberately not told “everything” to everyone.

So just stay tuned and I assure you that you WILL be inspired!

There were many times when I was making little or no sales, and frequently had to go borrowing to meet basic needs in providing for my family.

Yet that psychological situation challenged me to look deeper at what I was doing and how I was doing it, until I discovered unique insights to progress towards my goal.

Today, clients and other persons who encounter me often ask me how I got to be so proficient at many things I do, and I readily tell them it was my exposure to prolonged suffering in which I had no means of escape, that forced me to develop that level or rare competence.

The best part is that I have gotten so good at doing it all; and NOT failing to meet any client deadlines to satisfaction, while still creating quality time to give Best Practice Parenting for Personal Success Achievement to my kids.

Most recently, they began producing their own range of home baked cookies, chin-chin, bread and African Pizza, using our trademark no-oven charcoal stove baking system. Check out their Facebook page here.

I mention the above not to brag, but to illustrate how the lack of safety net I had to endure helped to mould me into a much more productive person than I could ever have become, if I had NOT followed that path.

So here’s a tip: When you know in your mind that you have something you can go back to if what you’re about to start fails, THAT awareness becomes your inevitable psychological Achilles heel. Once you get to a point in your venture or journey where you feel you can’t go on, the seductive thought of retreating to the comfort of your safety net will find a way to the surface.

And that will weaken your resolve to continue, keeping you from staying hungry enough to continue pushing to succeed. Just like it happens when one exercises the muscles, if you stop when you start feeling pain, you end up with no gain in muscle mass. Hence the popular saying: No pain, no gain.

“I don’t count my sit-ups; I only start counting when it starts hurting because they’re the only ones that count.” ― Muhammad Ali

It goes without saying that not everyone will be willing to go this zero safety net route, however I will point out that every single human being has within him/her the capability to do so. S/he only needs to be willing to do it.

But if you really want to achieve exceptional success, that will make you stand out in any area of endeavour, this route is likely your best bet.

Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich explains how to go about doing it.

NB: Bear in mind that some of the world’s most accomplished achievers attribute their success to following the advice contained in this little book!

Here are some excerpts you will find instructive…

Burn all your bridges behind you!

Stake your entire future on your ability to get what you want:

Leave yourself no possible way of retreat:

Cut all sources of retreat:

You have to win or perish:

Get a copy of this wonderful book, and read it as many times as it will take you to internalize all the wisdom it offers. That’s exactly what I did, and I’m better off for it!

The quotes below further underscore the importance of the points I’ve made in this piece:

“…we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Romans 5:3,4, NIV)

“The strongest steel is forged in the hottest fire. The strongest character is molded in the most difficult circumstances. Most of God’s greatest leaders endured long periods of suffering as they were shaped and honed for the work ahead. When the pressure mounts and the heat rises, keep your eyes on the prize. When the molding process is over, you may find that you can do more than you ever thought possible…and that God can do more with you than He has ever done before. “ ~ Mark Phillips

Final Words: I honestly believe some people who should not be coaching others are finding ways to get certified to do just that today.

Technology, especially mobile/PC and Internet technology,  have made the business of training and accrediting coaches more and more a matter of dishing out electronic content; with minimal attention being paid to the personal attributes and experiences the prospective coaches possess.

The result is that we have some people offering coaching advice and counseling based on what is at best a shallow foundation of real world relevant insights and wisdom. Indeed, some coaches today betray their own lack of depth and self-belief through advice they give.

Ultimately, the best coaches will often be those who have qualitative life experiences and real world relevant research based knowledge and insights to share.

Unfortunately, in today’s digital world, it can be hard to tell such coaches apart (especially for the prospective coaches) from others!

I do not mean to cast aspersion on anyone, but the truth is that many of those guilty of what I’m saying here are unknowingly doing damage to those who trust them enough to learn from them.

SDN Blog™

New posts from last week*

Monday:

[Tuesday]:

[Wednesday]:

[Thursday]:

[Friday]:

Advertise Your Products and Services on Tayo Solagbade’s Buyers-Meet-Sellers Platform for Agro based businesses – and others!

[Saturday]:

Succeed More by Using the Web Creatively [Features True Story]

[Sunday]:

To Succeed in Spreadsheet Programming You Need Sound Understanding [Hint: Do You Know Where New Excel-VB Macros Are Stored?]

THE FARM CEO (Issue 46 – Exclusive Offer): Send in Your FREE Advert details for LIFETIME publishing on my Buyers-Meet-Sellers Platform for Farm Businesses & Others!