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No. 134: Don’t Be a "Feel-Good" Speaker!

"If you have an important point to make, don’t try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time–a tremendous whack." – Winston Churchill

I believe experts-who-get-paid-to-speak (or those aspiring), will find it useful to keep this quote in mind.

Here’s why…

Unless a decision maker is crooked, irresponsible or confused, s/he will expect you, as a speaker to deliver a program that thoroughly addresses issues you’ve been told are of concern.

Take for example, a company underperforming due to negative rivalry between department heads.

Imagine the CEO hires you to come in and give your talk, which you’ve told him will be followed by a break out session, in which team building exercises will be facilitated by you.

Burt Dubin recommends that a speaker “research” the client organisation to get an accurate impression of the need(s).

You would not, for instance, just take only what the decision maker tells you.

Instead, you would also request to have conversations with key team members, to gain better insights into what the core issues are. That will aid you in preparing your program to effectively address them.

At this point however, your work would only be half-done…

On event day, you would need to deliver your message based on your findings…and without holding back.

Focusing on Being "Liked" by the Audience Can Make You Look Bad

You are there to solve a problem that’s been identified.

Let the decision maker see that s/he did not make a mistake.

If s/he wanted a praise singer, one would have been easily found, and it would probably not have been you!

Therefore, if you accept to do the job, work towards delivering value in that direction.

It – of course – goes without saying, that you need not antagonize anyone in the process!

I’m saying all this because I’ve been on both sides (as an employee when a speakers visited, and as a speaker invited to an organisation), and seen this happen.

Internal cultures in organisations no doubt vary from society to society.

I’ve however worked closely in organisations, with people from within and outside Nigeria/Africa.

My experiences and observations, in addition to what I’ve learnt by studying real world relevant management-research publications, confirm human beings are basically the same.

People driven by motives such as ambition, can play all sorts of games to get ahead of others.

As a result, there can be casualties, and disruptions, that ultimately affect the company.

Simply put, a lot of funny politics can – and does – happen in workplaces.

So, as a speaker/trainer, your brief to help build team rapport, may not be as easy to execute, as giving a talk, then getting people to sit together and play "team working " games :-))

You will likely have to also address the "hidden" issues.

Speakers often have to interact with members of the organisation before, during and after the event.

And those involved in creating the “mess” – who may have vested interests – could try to influence you.

Members of "warring parties" could try to win subtly win you over to their side.

Some may go out of their way to be exceptionally nice, and then “innocently” volunteer information about what the problems are, and even who is/are responsible…:-)))

If you naively let one group influence how you relate with other team members, the latter may conclude you’ve taken sides.

And they could subsequently reject or resist your message!

Don’t, for instance, try saying things to please those who have spent time chatting you up.

Instead, firmly declare your reason for being there, and what you aim to help them achieve.

Beating about the bush, when you can be direct, will not endear you to anyone!

Using the information you’ve gathered, make it clear that you’re familiar with the issues at stake, and spell out how you aim to use your program to help them get back on track.

The above approach is bound to set them right fairly quickly.

And you’ll need that if you want to succeed.

Even If You’re a Motivational Speaker, Telling People Hard Truths Is Best

Many people think Motivational Speakers are supposed to tell them what they want to hear. That’s not true.

Speaking to make people "feel good", when they need to be told what they’re doing wrong, so they can get great results – to feel good about(!) – amounts to shooting yourself in the foot.

And it will make YOU look bad because you will leave without adding the useful value you promised!

Forget rave reviews or referrals from the decision maker who hired you, if that happens!

Zig Ziglar Did Not Avoid Speaking "Truths"…Yet He Got Liked A LOT!

Zig was great at telling people hard truths without offending.

He had such a way with words…especially for dealing with people’s excuses for NOT stepping up their game.

Here are two quotes by Zig, that I love using:

“Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hour days.” – Zig Ziglar

“When we do more than we are paid to do, eventually we will be paid more for what we do.” – Zig Ziglar

Zig always wanted people to leave with knowledge and insights that would help them get results in their personal and work lives!

So he told them NOT what they wanted to hear, but what he KNEW they NEEDED to learn!

Guess what happened in the process?

People ended up liking him!

Why?

Because those hard truths made them change their ways, and their lives became better as a result. The “good feeling” they got from the experience was therefore a lasting one!

Final Words: You Can Build "Exercises" into Your Breakout Session, Based On the Point(s) In Your Talk…

If anyone gives excuses during your session in the organisation having conflicts mentioned earlier, and you use quotes like the above by Zig, Jim Rohn (or indeed by you), in your response, s/he is unlikely to take offense.

I recommend giving specific examples you discovered during your “research” as a basis for discussion/learning e.g. instances of missed factory targets, due to frequent “bickering” across departmental lines.

a. Let attendees identify why it happens, and jointly agree how to prevent it from happening in future.

b. Make them document such agreed steps on paper – with names of those to implement.

c. Send a summary report, with copies of such “agreements” to the decision maker who hired you.

As a world class speaker like Zig Ziglar has shown through his career, if you do this, you won’t need to worry about making your audience "feel good"…even when you tell them hard truths!

That’s because those who take action, WILL end up better off, because you did it.

And they’ll naturally feel good about that…AND like YOU for it!

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Have a great week :-))

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Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist

*Sole Agent For Burt Dubin’s Speaker Mentoring Service In Africa

Mobile: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic)

http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com

Self-Development/Performance Enhancement Specialist – Tayo Solagbade – works as a multipreneurial freelance writer providing  zero risk article and report writing support for website owners, while travelling slowly across West Africa as a Location Independent Multipreneur. 

He’s presently based in Benin Republic, where he’s preparing an English-French Language Guide, City Travel Guides, and a Commercial Rabbit Farming Guide.

He earns multiple streams of income providing clients with performance improvement training/coaching, custom MS Excel-VB solutions, web marketing systems, freelance writing services, and best practice extension support services (for farm business owners).

In a previous life, before leaving to become self-employed, Tayo served for seven years as a high performing manager in Guinness Nigeria. He rose from Shift Brewer, to Training & Technical Development Manager, then later acted in senior management roles as Production Manager and Technical Manager.

When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Self-Development Nuggets™ blog, and Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter (which he publishes to promote Burt Dubin’s Public Speaking Mentoring service to experts working across the African continent).

For a limited time, Tayo is available to speak to your group or organization for a moderate fee. Send e-mail to tayo at tksola dot com. You can also visit www.tksola.com to learn more. 

Connect with him on Twitter @tksola.com and Facebook.
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