Self-Devpt. Nuggets™

The email testimonial below, was sent to me by a former subordinate. He’d visited me a year after I resigned from the company to become self-employed. Why? He wanted tips on how to excel at work, the way I had during my 7 year career. The amazing results he shared in his e-mail, within ONE year of our sessions together, demonstrate how truly powerful coaching can really be – IF properly done. This article features a flagship seminar based on my Spontaneous Coaching™ concept.

And most times it won’t be hard work!

Take it from me. Coaching others to excel to their full potential can be easy to do, if you learn how.

The key is to know what to look for, and what to do when you find it. I offer the following pointers based on over 20 years of coaching others – using my Spontaneous Coaching™ technique

1. Not Everyone Will Be Ready

Understand that not all those you identify to need coaching will see it that way. There will be some who today will “feel” they are doing just fine. Yet you will see that they could do so much better with a little help.

In other words, these are people who know they have the “potential” to excel, and are already doing it at some basic level.

But you may see that they have yet to make the most of themselves. They may however be blind to that fact.

However, for as long as they do not see what you see, telling them so may not yield worthwhile results. Do so if you feel so strongly. But I have learnt that it pays to let situations and circumstances work together, to bring such persons around.

Let them feel a need to come looking for help. It is in that state of mind that they are most likely to listen to you, with the level of seriousness that is required.

So, keep that in mind. Not everyone will be ready for your coaching help. Therefore, don’t push it – or you could end up messing things up in a way that could stop them coming to you, if/when they “get it”.

2. Not Everyone Who Is Ready, Will Know S/he Is

There’s another side to readiness that I have noticed. A person may not be ready in terms of feeling that s/he needs coaching help. That’s the one I mentioned above.

However, there are those who may not be ready in terms of being convinced that s/he already has all that’s needed to excel.

Let me explain. Some people will actually be open to being coached. But their mindset will often be that it will still take them a long while to arrive at a point where they are capable of delivering excellent performance.

These are people who do not really know what they are capable of.

They have yet to connect with their “other selves” (to paraphrase Napoleon Hill), to discover that they can do anything they set their minds to.

So, in contrast to those above, you will see that people in this group have the “potential” to excel. But they are unaware that they have that potential. Since they are open to getting help, your role will be to show them what they are truly capable of doing, based on their potential.

Don’t just give them basic support, based on the request they make. Help them see the true potential they have to super-perform!

3. You Must Be Prepared – and Not Just In Terms of Competence

It goes without saying. But the preparation I refer to here is not the obvious kind. To coach others, one expects you must already be an achiever at a decent level in your own right.

If you’re not, PLEASE go do that first Like the saying goes…”You cannot give what you do not have.”

But apart from your proven competence, something more important is required.

You need to develop the capacity for PATIENT observation, and for giving subtle feedback. And you must master how to do it at the right time and place.

People’s egos are fragile. Especially adults.

Consciously or unconsciously letting you coach them, will involve great emotional risk on their part.

You must not give them cause to feel the risk is too great, such that they withdraw. You must make them comfortable staying open to learning from you.

Many you coach are unlikely to be younger than you – except you wish to choose such persons. I end up coaching much older persons, and/or peers. Their social/educational backgrounds tend to vary greatly.

Great interpersonal communication skills, and an especially keen “emotional intelligence”, will get you far. People must feel they can trust you, before they will let you coach them.

NB: A Word on “Coaching”, as I Use It Here

By the way, I use the word “coaching” here – not necessarily to imply a formal coaching relationship.

Quite often, you will find need to “influence” people to get them to behave in ways you want. Or to get them to behave better, in a way that improves work output, or even larger society.

To get my co-workers back in paid employment (or my clients today) to work with me the way I want, I “coach(ed)” them. They do (did) not hire me to coach them. I choose (chose) to do that, to make mu work EASIER. Or to help improve things. Get it?

To learn more about my Spontaneous Coaching technique, read my article titled “Where Employee Training Fails, Spontaneous Coaching™ for Self-Development Can Help Your Company.”

FREE PDF DOWNLOAD BELOW: Since 2003, I have offered this one day flagship seminar on Spontanous Coaching™, as an on-demand learning event.

Click the image below, to download the 4 page PDF flyer.

4. Know When to Step Back – and Do So Once The Need Is Apparent

When people let you get close enough to coach them, they make themselves vulnerable before you. It becomes possible to see their imperfections.

Never get carried away and begin to probe insensitively. Or they’ll shut you out – probably permanently.

To coach others successfully, give needed tips or support in words/action as needed or requested.

Then carefully wait for signs that more is needed. This is VERY important. Don’t rush. Wait and watch.

If you see nothing to justify it, do NOT try to do more.

Leave them to make use of what you’ve given. If they feel a need for more they will return.

Here’s why: As a coach, your goal is to help people learn how to break psychological chains of limitation. From them on, they will be able to literally unleash themselves on the world, and excel.

By then, yours will simply be to step back and admire the works of your hands.

And that will be in form of them (i.e. those you’ve coached) actively pursuing, and achieving, self-actualisation!

5. Forget About Claiming Credit: They Will Gladly Return to Give It to YOU!

Think of the opportunity to help others in this way as a privilege.

In many cases those you coach may not even “recognise” that YOU have coached THEM!

Yet, without your “influence” in their lives, they may not have found the inspiration, or gained the insights to move to that new level.

Many do not understand this.

Coaching is not necessarily just physical, and face to face.

By telling stories or sharing experience based tips, in books you author, on your blog, and even on your facebook profile YOU CAN COACH others.

In case you’re wondering, that means ALL OF US can be coaches – if we made the deliberate effort. For those of us who are parents, our kids would probably make a good starting point.

I already coach mine – very, very deliberately, and the results are showing up already 😉

So don’t waste time trying to claim credit for the results your “coaching” helps others achieve.

Let them do that for you. It will happen, if you do it right.

Simply guide them to self-discovery, and on their own, they will come thanking you.

And that will do wonders for your credibility, your reputation…and your relationships.

For instance, such persons will rarely pay attention to any persons who try to turn them against you.

In other words, you’ll find them to be loyal friends or allies you can truly depend on!

How Will You Know You’re Succeeding?

Don’t worry, you will. They may not mention you. But your words/actions would have challenged them!

You are however likely to notice specific ones make significant changes in their lives, around the time your influence began.

I’ve seen lots of that happen in my social space – even on Facebook.

It’s a joy to know one is making such a useful contribution to the world.

And that’s ENOUGH for me…

I recommend, that you let it be enough for YOU as well

Below: Two Different Testimonial E-mails (13 months apart) Sent By a Young Industrial Attachee (Intern), Who’d Reported Directly to Me While I Was Training Manager