Category Archives: Self-Development

No. 116: We Are Poor – Not Because of God (Lessons from 7 True Stories)

As an expert in your field, know this: The creator made YOU. You therefore have the capacity, as well as an obligation, a duty.. indeed a calling (!), to be so creative in doing what you do, as to make the world a better place…and the most of yourself.

You CAN do this regardless of your colour, language, education, race, family history, upbringing, social environment, present circumstances or means.

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Publication: Tayo Solagbade’s Weekly Public Speaking IDEAS Page (PSIP) Newsletter

Date: Monday 18th November 2013

No:116

Title: We Are Poor – Not Because of God (Lessons from 7 True Stories)

Author & Publisher: Tayo K. Solagbade [Tel: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic) ]

Blog URL: http://www.tayosolagbade.com/sdnuggets

Archive (For E-mail only version started 14th May 2012): Click here to view

Archive (For Blog version started 24th September 2011): Click here

Hi,

Please find below the latest issue of my Speaking IDEAS newsletter.

On Being a Master (PDF)...A Gift from Burt Dubin - Click now!

 

No. 116: We Are Poor – Not Because of God (Lessons from 7 True Stories)

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NB: If you ever find yourself wondering what else I’ve written, some days after you’ve read THIS Speaking Ideas newsletter I send out on a Monday, here’s what you can do to find out: Point your browser to www.tayosolagbade.com/sdnuggets to read at least ONE new post added to my SD Nuggets blog on a different category from Tuesday till Saturday (sometimes even Sundays) in line with this publishing schedule :-)

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As an expert in your field, know this: The creator made YOU. You therefore have the capacity, as well as an obligation, a duty.. indeed a calling (!), to be so creative in doing what you do, as to make the world a better place…and the most of yourself.

You CAN do this regardless of your colour, language, education, race, family history, upbringing, social environment, present circumstances or means.

Many Ordinary People Have Already Done (and Are Doing) It

“We should’nt be poor. S.B. And don’t ever let me hear you say that it is God’s Will that we are poor. We are poor – not because of God. We a poor because father has never developed a desire to become rich. No one in our family has ever developed a desire to be anything else.” – S.B. Fuller’s mother speaking to him in his formative years. (Source: Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude, by Napoleon Hill)

NB: S.B. Fuller was an African American man born to a father who was a tenant farmer in Louisiana, in the USA. S.B would later in life own controlling interest in 8 companies – including 4 cosmetic companies, a hosiery company, a label company, and a newspaper. And he attributed his success, to the above statement his mother often made to him.

We can all draw inspiration from the achievements of everyday persons, who made yesterday’s (seeming) impossibilities, today’s realities.

Here are examples that anyone can relate to:

1. Thomas Edison

Despite having only 3 months of formal schooling, he created the light bulb – after testing thousands of different metals without success.

For a man who was written off by school teachers as being retarded, and incapable of doing well in school, his life’s achievement of 1093 patents is no small feat!

Regarding the opinion of his teachers, Edison famously noted that his mother “was the making of” him.

This was because, when he told her what he overheard teachers saying to the inspector about him, she went with him to the school.

Then she loudly announced to all around, that her son was smarter than all the teachers put together.

Subsequently, she withdrew him from that school, and proceeded to home-school him.

Today, it’s quite obvious she knew what she was talking about…and what she was doing!

2. Henry Ford

He led the creation of a 6 cylinder engine that was unheard of in his time. It powered a “horseless carriage” (which we know today as a “car”) that non-affluent persons could afford.

That journey took him, and his engineers, many long months of hard work with repeated and frequent failures.

Note that Ford started out as a stark illiterate (according to Napoleon Hill in “Think and Grow Rich”).

3. The Wright brothers

They showed us how to “fly” – but had to endure many temporary failures before they arrived. Keep in mind that during their time NO ONE had ever made any successful flights.

And they literally had to continue by the force of their own belief – not that they were being cheered on by a crowd of “enthusiastic supporters”.

Yet, despite the risk of permanent injury or death, they continued – till they made it.

4. Robert Goddard

His works provided the foundation for rocket science, and ultimately space travel. But while alive he was ridiculed far and wide for doing that same work.

Only decades after his death, did his work get the recognition it deserved – causing America’s Space Center to be named after him

5. Tim Berners-Lee

He created “HTML” i.e. Hyper-Text Mark-up Language, which remains the fabric of the World Wide Web as we know it today).

That’s why he’s known as the father of the web.

Interestingly, he chose not to reap financial rewards from his creation. Instead he advocated keeping the web “free”.

6. Ben Carson

His world renowned “gifted” brain surgeon’s hands have saved countless kids, that even parents had given up on!

However, to achieve his amazing success, he had to endure years of crippling poverty.

Apart from the creator, he credits a powerfully supportive mother (who lacked formal education) as being his rock of support, during his formative years, and difficult times in life.

7. Fela Anikulapo Kuti

His incredible life story and unique Afro beat music, are now celebrated in a very successful broadway show, and also annually at an event aptly named “Felabration”.

The world’s most successful people in entertainment and human rights advancement (e.g. Jay-Z, Will Smith among others), actively partake.

While alive, Fela applied his God-given creativity to make his music a weapon for fighting oppression, corruption and other societal ills.

He went through great suffering for doing so. But greatness also became his reward.

Most who knew Fela were aware that he held his mother in the greatest esteem, and was devoted to her.

When she was killed during a raid on his Kalakuta republic, he waxed an album lashing out at the government he accused of complicity.

Today, his legacy is carried on by 2 competent sons (Femi and Seun), and other Afro beat and human rights advocates, in America, Europe, the Caribbean, Asia, and other parts of the world.

Two Things to Remember, From the Above Examples…

1. What You Lack Cannot Stop You

Edison did not attend formal schooling. Ford was a total illiterate.

Yet, they both achieved astounding worldwide fame.

And they did it by applying their God-given creativity – with unrelenting persistence.

2. People Who Believe In You Can Make You…Especially Mothers!

I confirm it’s true.

Mothers in particular are quite amazing in their ability to believe in, and inspire their children to super-achieve.

The above examples of S.B Fuller, Edison, Carson and Fela perfectly illustrate this point.

But it’s not just mothers that can have this kind of effect on a person…

Anyone who believes in you will do what s/he can to support you in your creative efforts. And that will lead you to success, eventually.

Final Words: You Are Good Enough!

If we all choose to strive daily to actualize our full potentials, as creative beings, like those mentioned above did, our individual societies would be dramatically transformed in a much shorter time.

Right now, some people seem to (wrongly) believe the creator made a certain group of people smarter. And that they are to WAIT on those people, to create what the rest of the world is to use.

That mentality, if not changed, will make a person a lifetime mediocre, and under-achiever, no matter how many hours s/he spends PRAYING to the creator for greatness.

As an expert in your field, especially when you are one who wants to be a “speaker” who addresses others, you MUST believe in yourself.

In other words, believe that YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH to stand on the platform, and/or that you’re eminently qualified to speak – face to face – with any important person in your industry, about your subject.

If you need help preparing yourself to do the above, Burt Dubin’s Speaking Success System can help you.

Here’s wishing you a MASSIVELY creative week :-)

Need More Ideas on How to Use The Above Information?

If you need more specific details of how to make use of the ideas I’ve shared in this newsletter, send me a message using this request form – with “Re: No. 116: We Are Poor – Not Because of God (Lessons from 7 True Stories)” in the subject line.

SD Nuggets Blog

New posts from last week that may interest you! *
Public Speaking[Monday]:

Entrepreneurship [Tuesday]:

Self-Development [Wednesday]:

Career Development [Thursday]:

Parenting [Friday]:
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Writing/Blogging [Saturday]:

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Have a lovely week!

Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist

*Sole Agent For Burt Dubin’s Speaker Mentoring Service In Africa

Mobile: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic)

http://www.tayosolagbade.com

Self-Development/Performance Enhancement SpecialistTayo Solagbade – works as a multipreneurial freelance writer providing  zero risk article and report writing support for website owners, while travelling slowly across West Africa as a Location Independent Entrepreneur.

He’s presently based in Benin Republic, where he’s preparing an English-French Language Guide, City Travel Guides, and a Commercial Rabbit Farming Guide.

In a previous life, before leaving to become self-employed, Tayo served for seven years as a high performing manager in Guinness Nigeria. He rose from Shift Brewer, to Training & Technical Development Manager, then later acted in senior management roles as Production Manager and Technical Manager.

When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Self-Development Nuggets™ blog, and Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter (which he publishes to promote Burt Dubin’s Public Speaking Mentoring service to experts working across the African continent).

For a limited time, Tayo is available to speak to your group or organization for a moderate fee. Send e-mail to tayo at tksola dot com. You can also visit www.tksola.com to learn more.

Connect with him on Twitter @tksola.com and Facebook.

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Have you been undecided about whether or not to become a paid speaker? Or have you been trying to get your speaking career off the ground with little success?

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You can choose to purchase Burt’s mentoring at any of the three (3) levels listed below:

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Burt’s three mentoring packages can be likened to the seating options offered by airlines: Budget Delight (Economy); Mid Range (Business); and Top Shelf (First Class).

At least that’s how I like to think of them!

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Send me an e-mail with your questions via tayo at tksola dot com. In the meantime, why not get started by subscribing here to get his 7-Part Course (How To Succeed And Get Paid As A Professional Speaker) .  . . and receive his monthly newsletter (Speaking Biz Strategies Letter) at no cost.

 

 

Why I Relocated from Nigeria to Benin Republic (Hint: A “Poor” Country Where Even Poor People Live Well!)

If you’ve ever been second-guessed, doubted, and treated with suspicion, you’ll know it can be very unpleasant. As a Nigerian, I’ve had (and HAVE!) to endure the stigma of being from a country renowned for scams – in countries I’ve visited, and – ironically – even back at home :-)))

Like a well traveled Beninese professional once told me”.

“Look Tayo, I’ve traveled all over the world, and met with lots of Nigerians. Even Nigerians don’t trust themselves. So why should people here in Benin trust you?”

And he was right.

Indeed, in my first few months in Benin Republic, I encountered lots of raw distrust from locals, who had bad stories about “Nigerians” to tell me!

ONE EXAMPLE: Read the article below, that I wrote recently…

http://tayosolagbade.com/sdnuggets/he-called-me-voleur-thief/

It tells the story of a how a young student in the university at Calavi (outside Cotonou) called me a thief.

And that was because he only ever saw me working on an Internet connected PC!
That happened back in June 2013.

Today, I enjoy great recognition and credibility in a growing number of formal business and social circles – including the NIGERIAN EMBASSY right here in Cotonou.

But it was not easy; I had to prove myself – by being creative and tenacious.

Two major achievements that have really opened doors of opportunities for me are:

1. My Quick and Dirty Guide to English for French Speakers (and French for English Speakers) – which I now sell.

Like I said, today, my perseverance is being rewarded. People now accept me here – even though I offer no solutions most of them can use or afford.

But they want to relate with me – and a few do purchase my products.

For instance the very first buyer of my “Quick and Dirty Guide to English for French speakers” CDROM was Cyriaq – a Beninese medical doctor, and now, friend.

He paid for it in advance, and picked it up 2 weeks later.

See what I mean by the level of trust I now enjoy? That would not have happened in May or June 2013!

Back then I was still working to win people’s trust – as I explained in this article titled “What Do You Do When People Are Scared To Trust You?” :-))

Gaining people’s trust is the key to success in ANY area of life.

I’ve learnt to do it quite well. That’s how I got this far. My ideas can help you do the same – or better!

Since then, I’ve written two other pieces on the subject of trust – all based on my personal experiences and observations.

a.Can You Be Trusted? (Real Life Farm Business Sales Conversations With People Just Like You)

b. Proven Strategy for Succeeding by Winning People’s Trust

Read them. They will help you keep going in times when no one seems to be ready to give you a chance.

2. My Pineapple PEEL based drink which I am working towards offering for sale from a “snacks bar” before the end of the year.

I was already a known face in the Nigerian embassy, here in Cotonou, with at least one senior official, before coming up with this drink.

However when I took a bottled/labeled sample of the drink to the embassy, things went to a whole new level!

Details will come in future articles I’ll be writing.

Now, Some Direct Answers to Specific Questions People Keep Asking Me

Plenty of skepticism is naturally directed at a person like me who claims to earn income selling “his knowledge and expertise online”.

Most Nigerians simply cannot believe that is possible. The socioeconomic environment in our country makes most people feel there are no viable alternatives.

And that’s why I do what I do via this blog, and my website.

I’m using myself to PROVE to people they can pursue and succeed with viable alternatives like those I’ve discovered or developed.

But anyone who wants to use my methods simply cannot be lazy. And you cannot be in a hurry either.

1. Why did you leave Nigeria to Live/Work in Benin Republic?

Answer:

I’ve just returned to my base in Cotonou, Benin Republic, from 2 weeks in Lagos-Nigeria. I went to administer a questionnaire survey to farm industry stakeholders (for the international research paper I’m writing on “Using ICT for Feed Formulation”).

It all began on 1st April 2013, when I implemented my plan to become a Location Independent Entrepreneur – with my base in Benin Republic.

That decision was greatly influenced by a need for steady, reliable power supply and generally conducive environment free from annoyances I totally hated.

I was spending over N800 daily on fuel to power my generator in order to do my work on the laptop. And that did not even let me do as much as I needed to each day. Yet, NEPA would send in crazy estimated bills and insist one pay – other wise you would be disconnected. And this, from people who rarely supplied more than 25% of power supply one paid for.

What really nailed my resolve was when I visited the neighborhood NEPA office, and told them I wanted to be removed from the National Grid.

My argument was that I never got enough electricity and still got issued bloated bills to pay!

The newly appointed power station looked me in the eye and said “Even if we disconnect you, we will still bring you bills every month, and you will have to pay!

At that point I knew I needed to relocate, because I was sure I could literally kill someone, if I kept living and working in an environment like that.

I’ve always believed I should get value for the money I pay.

And that’s why as a service provider I ALWAYS go the extra mile to give buyers of my products and services more than they pay for.

The Nigerian environment had tested my patience to the limits. So I began investigating alternative locations to move to.

Read “You’re Not Crazy to Follow Your Inner Voice” in which I explained the “psychological dilemma I overcame to settle on Benin Republic.

Another article in which I explain is “No. 110: Why You Need to Think With Your Whole Body (and How)!

Yet another is: Change Your Environment to Succeed – If Necessary

Since arriving Benin Republic, it’s been like relocating to heaven from a version of hell.

No exaggeration.

My productivity has dramatically improved.And more online work has come my way as a result of the useful output I’ve been able to produce.

2. But how do you get enough business? There really is not much business in Benin Republic for someone like you who does freelance writing, software development, public speaking, web marketing coaching/support, information publishing etc

Answer:

My adopted approach remains strange to many Nigerians – indeed Africans. To learn a bit about what it means to be a Location Independent Entrepreneur (which is what I now am), read this article: A New Generation of Entrepreneurs PROVES That Our Schools Need To Offer a Different Kind of Education!

Note that my target audience has NEVER been people in Benin. Indeed the only clients I’ve so far had here are foreigners (Nigerians, and a Cameroonian)

My work has always been focused on selling my solutions online.

Since moving here, MORE buyers from in and out of Nigeria/Africa (as far as Canada) have purchased my feed formulation handbook, and software in particular.

For those unable/unwilling to buy my products, who still want to do feed formulation, I recently published a new PDF titled “Using MS Excel® Solver for Least Cost Feed Formulation Can Be Easy – But Also Dangerous (How to Protect Yourself)“.

(NB: Anyone who uses MS Excel for serious work should download that PDF report – or risk making avoidable errors. )

Payment is made to me via transfers to my GTB account or through an alternative arrangement I made to receive online payment.

My efforts to use foreign payment processing platforms have been frustrating. I do NOT use Nigerian payment processing platforms because – for now – I simply do NOT trust that they will remain reliable.

And since I deal a lot with foreign buyers of my offers, I am NOT prepare to risk damaging any hard won credibility by letting any system glitches scare people away!

3. Is your family still in Nigeria?

Answer:

Yes they are. I call them regularly, and visit once in a few weeks. But my plan is now to do the needed work to move them over.

I’ve done the math. And it makes sense to do that.

It costs me half to one third of my normal expenses, to live here (feeding, transportation etc). And that applies to catering to the needs of children.

On food, let me use this analogy:

A full plate of rice with one boiled egg on it, can be had for 300 FCFA. I know this because  I eat it often just next to where I live. Details in another article to follow.

Note that that is NOT the exception. It’s actually the norm.

Food is dirt-cheap here compared to Nigeria.

Look, one boiled egg in Lagos costs N50. If raw, it costs N30.

Now, N30 is approximately, 100 FCFA. That means the full plate of rice, with a boiled egg placed on top (see real life photo of one below) sold in Cotonou for 300 FCFA actually costs N100 approximately.

This full plate of rice, with a boiled egg placed on top sold in Cotonou for 300 FCFA - meaning it costs N100 approximately.

Since a boiled egg in Lagos costs N50, that means the above plate of rice (sprinkled with beans, and spaghetti!) costs only N50!

But we all know it’s impossible to buy any decent plate of food for N100 in Nigeria.

That amount would only get you a small piece or fish or meat!

Then you would need anything from N200 upwards to get your plate full!

I shared one picture above for illustration. There will be more, in a special report I intend to do soon, comparing the cost of living in both societies.

Another thing: In Benin Republic, public tap water is drinkable. I’ve been drinking it – like everyone else – since 1st April 2013.

So there’s no need to buy water to eat a meal. Except you want cold water or prefer it bottled.

That’s so unlike Nigeria, where you dare NOT try drinking water that’s not packaged. And even those can sometimes be “unhealthy” for drinking – as cases of related disease outbreaks have periodically shown.

This is why drinking water adds an extra layer of expense to every meal in Nigeria. Imagine how much a family spends on bags of pure water daily in Nigeria! I say this from personal experience.  A totally avoidable expense!

But Why the Focus on Food, Tayo?

Actually, it’s not only food. Transportation and other basic activities are mostly cheaper here.

I have a vision to help Nigerians achieve financial empowerment, to fight bad governance.

Once they can feed themselves, they will be less prone to manipulation by corrupt people – or politicians.

That’s the situation in Benin Republic.

Even “poor” people eat well in this “poor” country.

In contrast, many who do not consider themselves poor, in Nigeria, struggle to feed their families well!

That’s also why the crime rate is VERY low here.

It’s not a perfect place.They have their own problems – but nothing that makes life a literal living hell like in Nigeria.

That’s why they appear so laid back to the rest of us. You see, their society works for THEM…even when they put in what appears to be little effort!

I’ve always felt that life is not meant to be such a struggle…to be so hard…so brutish…like it is in Nigeria!

Believe me. I’ve visited different parts of Nigeria, and Ghana, Cameroon, and England, Scotland, and now Benin Republic. Nigeria is a tough place to live and work.

Henry David Thoreau reportedly said:

“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them”

For Nigerians, I’d rephrase it this way:

“Most Nigerians lead lives of NOISY desperation, and inspite of it all, still go to the grave with the song still in them”.

I’ll be spelling out what I believe Nigeria (and Nigerians), need(s) to do to change things, in future write-ups.(Hint: What I do today is an example of what more people need to start doing in Nigeria).

Part 2 of this post – with more photos, and answers to questions sent me by enquirers, will be published in a day or two.

No. 115: Why Persistent People Succeed (Hint: A Silent But Irresistible Force!)

You may have heard about – or read – Napoleon Hill’s book titled “Think & Grow Rich”.

In this issue of my newsletter, I highlight what is perhaps the most potent message in that book for ANY reader, to take away.

Especially one who desires to know how to succeed, no matter how tough things get!

Here’s the quote:

SCROLL DOWN TO READ THE FULL ISSUE

Click now to view the latest issue of Tayo Solagbade's Public Speaking IDEAS page

View Tayos video tutorials and demonstrations on Facebook Productivity Tips, Web Marketing, and for his Custom MS Excel-VB driven software applicationsConnect with Tayo on Facebook.comConnect with Tayo on Twitter.comConnect with Tayo on Google Plus

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Publication: Tayo Solagbade’s Weekly Public Speaking IDEAS Page (PSIP) Newsletter

Date: Monday 11th November 2013

No:115

Title: Why Persistent People Succeed (Hint: A Silent But Irresistible Force!)

Author & Publisher: Tayo K. Solagbade [Tel: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic) ]

Blog URL: http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/blog

Archive (For E-mail only version started 14th May 2012): Click here to view

Archive (For Blog version started 24th September 2011): Click here

Hi,

Please find below the latest issue of my Speaking IDEAS newsletter.

On Being a Master (PDF)...A Gift from Burt Dubin - Click now!

 

No. 115: Why Persistent People Succeed (Hint: A Silent But Irresistible Force!)

**** **********

NB: If you ever find yourself wondering what else I’ve written, some days after you’ve read THIS Speaking Ideas newsletter I send out on a Monday, here’s what you can do to find out: Point your browser to www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/sdnuggets to read at least ONE new post added to my SD Nuggets blog on a different category from Tuesday till Saturday (sometimes even Sundays) in line with this publishing schedule :-)

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You may have heard about – or read – Napoleon Hill’s book titled “Think & Grow Rich”. In this issue of my newsletter, I highlight what is perhaps the most potent message in that book for ANY reader, to take away. Especially one who desires to know how to succeed, no matter how tough things get!

Here’s the quote:

There is a silent but irresistible force, that comes to the aid of those who carry on in the face of discouragement.

You see, I have found from studying human beings – adults especially – that many people are unwilling to endure prolonged hardship, adversity or delays in the “arrival” of that which they seek.

The human nature is such that it seeks the easiest, shortest route to achieve a goal or desire.

People do not like to WAIT long to get what they want.

Technological and industrial advancements in the 21st century have made instant gratification even more fashionable.

The Internet itself further fuels the “habit” through “instant downloads and access” to wide variety of high demand products and services.

In a way, I think our modern world has actually created a “weaker” generation of people.

Many of today’s men and women have gotten used to living “sheltered” lives.

It’s one in which most things they want can be had almost as soon as they “think” about it, or say they want it.

The problem that occurs as a result, is that when things don’t go the way they want them, such people tend to give up quickly/easily.

Or they turn to unethical avenues to achieve the same end.

The message from Hill’s book however is that anyone who can persist, in spite of major delays in the “arrival” of success, will get eventually support from an “unseen” source.

That’s What Hill Called “A Silent But Irresistible Force”

Think about it:

Who or what can possibly successfully anticipate and/or withstand a force that makes no sound, and cannot be resisted?

I say “No one and Nothing” can!

Also consider the fact that Hill says in order for you to get the help of that “force”, all you need to do is carry on in your struggles – making intelligent changes over time.

If you do the above, you will eventually succeed, no matter how much failure, discouragement, delays or setbacks/adversity you experience.

I have experienced many, many – very many – instances of help from this unseen force in truly amazing ways.

And I have many stories I can share i.e. verifiable stories.

E.g Helped by a Beninese TV and Radio presenter, who I did not know, and had never met before.

It was just my third day in Cotonou, Benin Republic.

This happened back in April 2013, when I relocated (despite myriad challenges/setbacks) from Lagos- Nigeria to Cotonou.

He walked up to where I stood asking for directions from a commercial cyclist, and said (in French):

“Hello, what’s the problem? Is there any way I can help?”.

Surprised, I turned towards him and explained that I was trying to locate the office premises, of certain high profile establishments I’d checked out online.

This gentleman said: Ah, you must be a visitor out here, not to know those places.

He sent the bike rider off, and motioned for me to follow him into an open air snacks bar, close to us.

Next, he motioned for me to join him at a table, ordered two large bottles of soft drinks, and began asking me questions.

I explained what I did, why I’d come down, and my purpose for wanting to visit those organisations.

To my surprise, he said – among other things: “I like your courage. To move to another country, without knowing anyone. I think I can help you“.

He then told he me ran a weekly show on one of the popular local channels.

And that he had access to top people in some of the establishments I was interested in.

Many of them had visited the studios at some time in the past, for one function or the other. And in some cases, he had interacted directly with them.

Believe it or not, this guy – who barely knew me – went on to make phone calls to his contacts.

By the time we parted, he’d given me direct, personal phone numbers to call.

I’ll never forget the looks of incredulity I got from my new friends back then, when I began calling, and meeting those people.

They asked: “How did you manage to connect with such people in the short time you’ve been here?”

I told them what I’m telling YOU here, in THIS article…about a silent but irresistible force that comes to the aid of persistent people!

It might interest you to know, that we’re friends on Facebook today.

And once in a while, when we meet online, he typically says:

“How are things going? Do let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

Wow, one would think he owed me money. Yet I AM the one who owes him!!

In my previous articles and books, I have told other similar stories. I continue to receive help from this “force” in many uncanny ways.

My plan is to share more specific and graphic examples via story telling, via “one hour talks” I offer on-demand.

Interested? Contact me.

Not sure I’m for real? Read more of what I offer on my blog and website. Then subscribe to my mailing list (using the form below), to get latest updates.

Let Me End by Repeating Myself…

Napoleon Hill’s claim is true.

Even if no single human being is offering to help you – or aware of your need for help.

If you persist inspite of your circumstances, you will eventually find yourself the beneficiary of an uncanny kind of support.

That help will typically come from an unknown, and often unexpected source.

And it will most likely leave you continually baffled!

I Live This Stuff…and One Man’s Words Helped Me Learn to Believe

One more thing I need to say…

Persisting, no matter what obstacles come your way, is NOT easy!

I did not just start getting it right from day one.

Many periods of doubt and frustration occurred.

However, a red-hot desire to succeed made me search for ideas to keep me going.

And I found answers in the writing of many other experts.

But one man stood out, in how he communicated IT.

His name is Burt Dubin.

He coined a phrase that resonated powerfully with me.

A phrase that’s easy to remember, and helps anyone stay focussed on not quitting.

I quickly adopted it as a mental/psychological anchor.

Since 2000, when I first read it on Burt’s website, it’s helped me overcome the storms of adversity I’ve encountered.

What is the phrase used by Burt?

It’s “Have Bulldog Blood“!

Without bulldog blood, you cannot achieve long term success in the face of adversity. (If you’d like to know what he means by that expression, read this article).

Burt is renowned as a veteran mentor of some of the world’s highest paid speakers.

He has been around for over 3 decades!

That’s the kind of person I would pay serious attention to.

Especially now, that he’s launched a web based preview version, of his latest book titled “On Being a Master“!!

Final Words: You Too Can Succeed by Persisting!

Keep the words of Burt Dubin on “having bulldog blood” (see below) in mind – and you will not go wrong!

Bulldog blood quote by Burt Dubiin

Need More Ideas on How to Use The Above Information?

If you need more specific details of how to make use of the ideas I’ve shared in this newsletter, send me a message using this request form – with “Re: No. 115: Why Persistent People Succeed (Hint: A Silent But Irresistible Force!)” in the subject line.

SD Nuggets Blog

New posts from last week that may interest you! *
Public Speaking

[Monday]:

Entrepreneurship [Tuesday]:

Self-Development [Wednesday]:

Career Development [Thursday]:

Parenting [Friday]:

Writing/Blogging [Saturday]:

Want me to write for you? Click here…

Click now

Have a lovely week!

Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist

*Sole Agent For Burt Dubin’s Speaker Mentoring Service In Africa

Mobile: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic)

http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com

Self-Development/Performance Enhancement SpecialistTayo Solagbade – works as a multipreneurial freelance writer providing  zero risk article and report writing support for website owners, while travelling slowly across West Africa as a Location Independent Entrepreneur.

He’s presently based in Benin Republic, where he’s preparing an English-French Language Guide, City Travel Guides, and a Commercial Rabbit Farming Guide.

In a previous life, before leaving to become self-employed, Tayo served for seven years as a high performing manager in Guinness Nigeria. He rose from Shift Brewer, to Training & Technical Development Manager, then later acted in senior management roles as Production Manager and Technical Manager.

When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Self-Development Nuggets™ blog, and Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter (which he publishes to promote Burt Dubin’s Public Speaking Mentoring service to experts working across the African continent).

For a limited time, Tayo is available to speak to your group or organization for a moderate fee. Send e-mail to tayo at tksola dot com. You can also visit www.tksola.com to learn more.

Connect with him on Twitter @tksola.com and Facebook.

==================

Have you been undecided about whether or not to become a paid speaker? Or have you been trying to get your speaking career off the ground with little success?

Here’s a tip: Burt Dubin works with people who want to be speakers, and with speakers who want to be masters. Click here to visit his website NOW and submit a contact form message telling him what challenges you’re facing, and how you’d like him to help you. Tell him I sent you, and you’ll get a pleasant surprise offer from him.

Comments?

What do you think of the above message? Do you have any personal experience to share on this subject? Are there some other points you feel can be added, to help persons looking for answers? Please share your thoughts!

Share this issue!

Do you know anyone who might benefit from reading this newsletter issue? Why not hit the forward button now, and send it to him/her with a short recommendation. You can also use share it via your social media channels. Thanks in advance.

View Tayos video tutorials and demonstrations on Facebook Productivity Tips, Web Marketing, and for his Custom MS Excel-VB driven software applicationsConnect with Tayo on Facebook.comConnect with Tayo on Twitter.comConnect with Tayo on Google Plus

What fears or doubts are keeping you from (a) taking up Burt Dubin’s monthly speaker mentoring, or (b) buying his products?

You can choose to purchase Burt’s mentoring at any of the three (3) levels listed below:

1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Burt’s three mentoring packages can be likened to the seating options offered by airlines: Budget Delight (Economy); Mid Range (Business); and Top Shelf (First Class).

At least that’s how I like to think of them!

All three will get you to your desired destination of “speaking success-ville” – so long as you meet the requirements/play your part well (your fare, abide by the set guidelines etc). During the “flight”, the seat you have will determine how much personal service attention and preference the provider will accord you. It’s that simple :-)

So, make your choice:Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Send me an e-mail with your questions via tayo at tksola dot com. In the meantime, why not get started by subscribing here to get his 7-Part Course (How To Succeed And Get Paid As A Professional Speaker) .  . . and receive his monthly newsletter (Speaking Biz Strategies Letter) at no cost.

(FREE PDF) Using MS Excel® Solver for Least Cost Feed Formulation Can Be Easy – But Also Dangerous (How to Protect Yourself)

Everybody knows a little MS Excel. It’s so easy to use. However, I make sure to warn – from over 20 years of supporting users of Excel-apps I develop – that Excel’s “friendly“ nature is also what makes it a potentially dangerous tool.

Especially for users with inadequate knowledge and experience, or indeed absent-minded competent users: The proverbial Garbage In Garbage Out (GIGO) phenomenon!

Farm industry stakeholders unable/unwilling to purchase my automated Excel apps (which I build to help prevent  occurrence of this potentially devastating problem) often get told, by me, to try using MS Excel to achieve their goals.

To protect yourself, I suggest four (4) practical steps you can take.

Click here to request the FULL PDF report

Using MS Excel® Solver for Least Cost Feed Formulation Can Be Easy - But Also Dangerous (How to Protect Yourself) - Click to download

We Need Not be Good at the Same Things, to Succeed!

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." – Albert Einstein

Remember The Above Quote EVERY Single Time You Think About Your Child

When your child does not perform well in school, sports or any area of life, relative to his/her peers.

When s/he fails to demonstrate proficiency in vocations that his/her siblings excel in.

ALWAYS remind yourself of that powerful quote credited to Einstein.

Einstein was one of the greatest minds/achievers to ever grace this planet with his presence.

Most people know that.

Some may however not know that he generally displayed intolerance – even impatience – with traditional schooling systems.

He saw the defects in the teaching system employed in traditional schools. He did not enjoy learning that way (more on that later).

How is Your Child Being Judged By You and/or Others…in Your Family or Elsewhere?

It’s important to control the environment in which a child grows up with respect to how s/he is “evaluated” on a daily basis.

Like I said in a past article, there are hundreds of different intelligences.

Not everyone will have the kind of intelligence that will make him/her an academic genius for instance.

If you really think of it, some of the people who make this world turn round with their genius would be lost if asked to discuss anything academic.

For some it will be intelligence in the use of the different parts of their bodies e.g. the feet (for sprinters and footballers), the mouth (for singers) etc.

Think About Some of The Great Professional Footballers We’ve Known

I’m not sure I want to know what Diego Maradona scored in Mathematics as a student. Or if Jay-Jay Okocha was good in Algebra!!!

Such subjects have no relevance to the genius of these 2 mentioned achievers.

The club and national team coaches do not ask for school certificates or university degrees to decide who gets to play in the team.

It’s your demonstrated "ingenuity" on the pitch that counts.

D’banj, one of Nigeria’s current international music superstars once sang about how he followed his passion for music, against his father’s wishes.

“I read, read, read, but book no gree enter my head” (singing in pidgin English).

Literal translation: “I tried my best, but just could not make anything of studying in school”.

Well, today no one can correctly argue that he took the wrong path.

He’s apparently a genius at what he does, and he obviously enjoys it. And that’s what matters in life at the end of the day.

The examples I’ve used are not exhaustive.

This Thinking Needs to Be Applied to All Areas of Life

For instance, your child’s choice of course to major in at university.

The fact that you and his siblings all majored in Engineering, does not mean s/he has to.

That’s why we have people who say "I studied XYZ because my father wanted me to".

Sometimes it’s because the parents wanted someone with that qualification in the family, to handle an aspect of the family business.

If the child happens to like the idea, there will be no issues.

However, if s/he displays ineptitude, that seems to derive from a lack of real interest, compared to a sibling, or a friend’s child, DO NOT put him/her down for it.

That could be a sign that s/he is not cut out for that kind of vocation.

The smart thing to do would be to help him/her find what works for her, in way that s/he can still contribute to the family’s joint goal.

Not to conclude s/he’s not "smart" enough…or that s/he;s not as good as the others.

Find your passion and purpose, and pursue it, till you succeed. Then take it to the next level…again and again!

Do that for yourself. But even if you don’t do it for yourself, at least help your child do it for him/herself.

Remind yourself that s/he is one-of-a-kind, and will have areas where s/he will also excel effortlessly (same applies to YOU, by the way).

Your role as a parent is to guide him/her to discover his/her genius in that regard.

And that may end up being something s/he can do that the world has never seen.

Imagine if Lionel Messi had been forced to finish his schooling FIRST, before his parents let him/her explore his passion and develop his amazing footballing talent?

Or if Fela Anikulapo-Kuti – the late legendary Afro Beat Musician – had not gone ahead – against his parents’ wishes – to enroll and study music on arriving in London?

What about if Thomas Edison’s mother had not defiantly withdrawn him from school, to begin "home schooling" him herself.

This was AFTER his teachers announced to her that his brain was "addled" and that he could not possibly do well, being so "retarded"??!

It turned out that Edison had problems in school, because his mind could not adopt rote learning aka "cramming" required in the traditional schooling system.

He had a highly developed creative thinking ability. As a result, his mind rejected the attempt to make him what Robert Kiyosaki has called a "mindless parrot"!

No wonder he invented the light bulb, and went on file 1093 patents for his inventions!

So, be careful about how much importance you attach to what others (teachers or otherwise) tell you about your child’s ability and potential.

Realize that they are just human. People with poor self images abound in society. They discount others

An "Olodo" (poor performer) in one field can be a genius in another.

Each one of us is born with a unique ability i.e. a genius.

Find yours – or at least make sure you help your child find his/hers.

We cannot all be equally good at the same things.

The creator would never make such a ridiculous mistake!

Enroll Your Child For My Life Skills Coaching Program (Download Flyer Below)

Click  to DOWNLOAD THIS COACHING PROGRAM's PDF FLYER

How to Make Successful Employers Want You (2 Simple Steps) – By Tayo Solagbade

“All successful employers are stalking people who will do the unusual, people who think, people who attract attention by performing more than is expected of them.” — Charles M. Schwab

You can get better career advancement opportunities from your current employer, and simultaneously attract better employers to come knocking on your door. 

Simply implement the following simple 2 step strategy diligently, on a daily basis:

1. Master Your Job

Only when you’re competent at yours, will it make sense to try helping others master their jobs.

This is the first rule for success in any area of endeavor. You must develop reliable job-based competence that your employer recognizes, to be taken seriously.

You must also constantly challenge yourself to actively explore new and improved ways to get your job done with less effort, in less time, and at less cost.

Never shy away from going the extra mile as needed, to ensure you deliver results the boss is most interested in.

It is important to note that there is great power in knowing what your boss and/or decision maker(s) consider most important for achieving the company’s goals.

That knowledge helps you avoid wasting time and scarce resources on trivial issues, to focus on what really matters. It can also help you identify aspects that matter but which are being missed out by the management.

You can draw attention to such aspects, and proactively offer ideas about what to do. The best part is that once you succeed in connecting with your boss or decision makers at this level, you are likely to be seen as a “potential leader”.

Your age, or years on the job at this point may actually not bother them. It’s the potential you demonstrate that will convince them you have what it takes. Sooner than later, the secondments, special projects, and promotions will start coming your way (see item A, under “Specific Benefits You Can Reap” below).

When they do, don’t lean back and enjoy the ride. Don’t conclude you’re made. Take those opportunities you get as signals to step up your game. Then develop even greater competence to deliver superior workplace performances on a daily basis.

2. Next, Form the Habit of Helping Others Master Their Jobs

Once you’ve achieved job-based mastery, and established your reputation, it becomes easier to get other employees to listen to you.

They will either have seen you deliver superlative performances on your job, or heard through the grapevine.

Note aspects of their jobs they have difficulty with. It’s usually best not to let them know your intention upfront. Just try to spend time with them (when you’re free from your own work related obligations) getting the information and insights you need.

Then think up ways to help them improve how they work, or solve problems they have. If you come up with a potentially useful idea, offer to help them implement it.

Get it as close to being ready-to-use as possible, so they don’t see “trying it out” as being extra work.

Make doing this a habit, but do it only when you believe tangible value can be had.

Specific Benefits You Can Reap

A. Rapid Career Advancement Opportunities

When you apply this 2-step strategy as prescribed, smart employers will notice your activities. That could make them assign you leadership positions, even if “older” hands with better credentials exist.  Why? Among other reasons, it would be to get others influenced by you, resulting in overall improved workplace productivity.

True Story: A newly recruited junior level manager/brewer in a large multinational, repeatedly used his spreadsheet programming skills (in his spare time) to help senior colleagues develop automated spreadsheet based data recording and report generation applications. He also readily provided spreadsheet coaching to colleagues who asked.

Over 80% savings in time and effort for report preparation were recorded as a result.

At a point he was nominated into a companywide reports computerization project team. That gave him invaluable exposure to key decision makers. He used what he learnt to develop new solutions. This included conceiving – and proposing – a new spreadsheet based formula as an improved alternative to that being used to measure brewery efficiency. The formula was discussed for 6 months at the company’s technical review meetings – and even tested in the breweries.

Within 5 years, he rose to a position in which he supervised a team that included colleagues who were 7 to 15 years older in the company.

 By way of interest, that manager was this writer :-)

B. Unsolicited Job Offers

This strategy will make co-workers and bosses find you a delight to work with. Some may even look for ways to reward you, after you’ve parted ways.

For example, a chartered accountant got short listed for interview (and eventually hired) by a larger company he never applied to. He later discovered that it was a former boss who joined them, that requested to have him on her team, because of his “versatility and resourcefulness”!

If you do this right, even the employer you’re currently with is likely to give you a glowing reference to help you win a better paying job you’ve been interviewed for.

That’s how powerful this strategy is: You can actually end up having the best of both worlds!

NB: This article was originally submitted – by me (Tayo K. Solagbade) – as a guest post to a career development/HR website over 4 months ago. However, it never got used by the site owner. So I decided to post it on here, on my blog.

“Number” Versus “Quality” of Friends: Which Matters More? (Tips from Beyoncé, and Blaise Pascal)

Question: What would be the point of your claiming to have many friends/associates/relatives etc for instance, when most (or all?) of them are not true to you?

For instance, they say one thing to your face, and another when you’re not around OR they say one thing and do another etc.

A Lesson About Truth-Based Relationships From A Celebrity

Back in 2007, I watched an interview of the highly successful female singer – Beyoncé. Her gutsy venture into production of a solo album in secrecy and (as the reporter put it) without the luxury of a “safety net” to fall on (in event of failure) was discussed.

She was asked how she felt about people making up stories about her life and commenting on her as a celebrity. Among other things, she said she felt lucky to belong to a family where people (unlike what obtains for some other stars) don’t tell her everything she says or does is “cute”.

She added that as a result, she has always been sorrounded “by truth” which has helped her remain herself.

Adults In Society And The Challenge Of Keeping Truth-Based Relationships

I reflected on Beyoncé’s achievements with the highly successful group – “Destiny’s Child” – and in her subsequent solo career.

The insights I gained re-inforced my belief that “sorrounding oneself with truth, in order to succeed with integrity” will always be a smart thing to do.

Too often in today’s society, especially amongst adults, duplicity, denial and outright dishonesty/insincerity feature prominently in relationships.

It is often so obvious that I sometimes feel it would take only a blind person NOT to see it!

The truth is that inside each of us is a sixth sense, which equips us (if we develop it) to be able to “detect” insincerity in others – to some extent.

Unfortunately, vanity, selfish interests and the need for ego gratification, make many people close their eyes to these obvious signs of insincerity when they see them.

I once read the following quote :

“We ask for criticism, even though what we actually want to hear is praise”.

I’ll take it further and say...

“As a result, when we get the criticism we ask for, we take offence against the person(s) who is/are sincere enough to tell us the TRUTH”.

What Kinds Of Friends Do YOU Want – And Keep?

I think I like the “Beyoncé” kind of sorrounding a lot.

I want to sorround myself with TRUTH all the time. I do not want to keep diplomatic and “anchorless Social Chameleons” (as Daniel Goleman described them in his book on Emotional Intelligence) in my social circle.

Does not matter if they are relatives or friends.

I want people around me who will say what they mean and mean what they say – NO MATTER whose Ox is gored in the process, even if it’s mine!

I want people around me who will tell me what they think of my words and actions to my face. Not smile that I’m OK, then go behind me to complain to others!

I want people who will give me (and/or anyone who needs it) the help or support I need UNCONDITIONALLY and without complaining or murmurring.

And who will be decent enough to let me know when it is NOT convenient enough for them to help/support anymore – instead of continuing to help GRUDGINGLY.

I want these things because I know they will bring out the best in me, and those I relate with.

And if I cannot find people who fit the foregoing descriptions to be around, I would prefer to be on my own/keep to myself!

Is It The Number Of Friends You Have That Matters – Or The QUALITY of EACH ONE?

Incidentally, the attributes outlined above are those I have always strived to exhibit in my relationships with others.

They are powerful qualities that I encourage YOU to also develop (if you do not already possess them). That’s because you will make yourself extremely valuable and useful in the lives of others as a result.

Let me end with the question I began this article with…and which will be followed by what I consider a VERY powerful quote:

Question: What would be the point of your claiming to have many friends/associates/relatives etc for instance, when most (or all?) of them are not true to you? For instance, they say one thing to your face, and another when you’re not around OR they say one thing and do another etc.

Blaise Pascal probably had the above in mind, when he reportedly said the following words:

“I lay it down as a fact that if all men knew what others say of them, there would not be 4 friends in the world”.

What do YOU think?

NB: This article’s original version was published on a static html page on this website on 31st October 2007

How to Tease Out Your Child’s Genius (3 Tips on how to be a “coach-parent”)

Most people feel proud and inspired to do more, when something they do attracts genuine praise and/or rewards from others. Children especially respond quite well to timely positive feedback. This article explains how you can make intelligent use of such feedback (as a “coach-parent”), to nurture your child’s creative instincts, in a way that increases his/her chances of success in life.

1. Never Grow Tired of Marveling at Life’s Discoveries

Some adults wrongly assume that showing surprise or excitement at the sight or sound of something new will make them look “un-cool” or unsophisticated.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

In reality, some of the world’s most creative and innovative people are reputed to view the world with child like wonder, and innocence.

They never got bored with expressing pleasant surprise, each time they made a new discovery. And that mental attitude is what fuels their desire to explore further!

That leads them to tap into creative depths of their beings, to achieve uncommon feats – and very often, they infect others around them with their attitude.

If you want to help your child as a parent, you need to adopt a similar mental attitude.

2. Your Child’s Genius Will Emerge if You Nurture It

Children who achieve early self-discovery often have adults around them who habitually cheered them on, whenever they showed what they could do.

What do you say when your 5 year old shows you something s/he’s scribbled on a cardboard?

How do you react? And that includes your body language when you’re tired, having just returned from a long, tiring day at work (?)

Do you look at it and say “That’s nice, baby!”, and let him/her go?

Or do you – for instance – take it from him/her, and then ask questions interestedly like: “Wow! Did you do all this yourself? That’s great.Can you show me how you did it? Or “Why not do more and let me see?”

I know some parents “ooh” and “aah” over stuff their kids do in their formative years.

What I’m saying here however goes beyond doing that, to actually using feedback to coach the child, right through his/her teens to young adulthood.

Subtle coaching and encouragement, injected at the right moment, can make a massive positive difference.

The words you say to a ten year old who excitedly shows you what s/he’s built (like my son showed me his “home made rechargeable lamp”) can trigger a life-long pursuit of self-discovery, and mastery.

This is not about formal school work involving spending hours with the child, to pass on “book knowledge”.

What I propose here is for the parent to provide real-world relevant “coaching” to his/her child.

A coach will typically need minutes (sometimes even seconds!) at any point in time, to help a child gain needed insights, to make progress.

It’s not how long the interaction lasts, but the QUALITY of interaction that occurs, that’s important!

A “coach-parent” will help the child acquire insights that can lead to self-discovery, growth and ultimately, mastery!

3. Anything that captures the imagination, stirs curiosity, excites (or gives pleasure to) a child can be used to coach him/her.

So, watch your child closely as often as possible.

No matter how busy you are, start doing this as early as possible in your child’s life. You’ll need to be alert to the opportunities that will appear.

Your success will depend on your ability to recognize and seize them.

Whenever you’re around him/her, and especially when you converse, watch for tell tale signs based on the guidelines outlined above. Use what you notice to guide what you say to his/her.

Your purpose will be to constantly challenge and encourage him/her to create something new, unique or original, in as many ways as possible.And as often as possible.

S/he should feel no restriction in following his/her interests or instincts in this regard.

Get him/her to focus on creating something that solves a problem or serves a useful purpose. It could be handicraft, a mechanical contraption, or an electronic device. It could be even be a drawing, or a write-up (like this short HIV Aids “awareness” story written by my 14 year old boy) .

If it’s original, and adds tangible value, let him/her see you tell others how impressed you are!

Show it off to guests and friends at every opportunity.

After a while, ask him/her if s/he’s done something new i.e. don’t let him/her rest on his/her oars.

Now, even if it’s not a mind blowing creation, praise his/her efforts, then tactfully suggest ways s/he can do better.

Over time, s/he’ll form the habit of continuous improvement, and his/her “genius” would emerge!

Final Words

This formula works, because humans love feedback delivered to them in a manner that inspires.

I’ve successfully used it with young people in their teens and early twenties.

Today, I get exciting parenting results with my kids (who are aged between 4 and 14 years old).

Become a “coach-parent“. Use the 3 tips explained above, with your kids. When they enter the real world as adults, they WILL make YOU proud!

Proven Strategies for Preventing Infidelity (Hint: Why do men cheat on their wives or girl friends?)

On 22nd Oct. 2013, at 4.50 p.m, Edentu Oroso wrote…are men by their nature promiscuous? …Why do men cheat on their wives or girl friends?”

See original post/thread at: www.tinyurl.com/edentufbk2

This is Issue No. 2 in the series on “My Ideas for Making Nigeria Better”.

For past issue(s), click here.

[For a society to achieve full potential, certain moral & ethical values must dominate. One such is marital fidelity. Without it, society will progress little – due to poor integrity amongst adults, and kids they raise.]

Click the image below to download the PDF.

edentu-fidelity

 

An Eye Cannot See Itself (Hint: Are men by their nature promiscuous?)

“An eye cannot see itself. That’s why it’s best to look in the mirror often!” – Tayo K. Solagbade

I always try to look in the “mirror” – literally and figuratively speaking – as often as possible.

By this I mean FREQUENTLY doing a hard and honest self-evaluation.

It helps me identify areas I need to “make a change” for the better (to paraphrase Michael Jackson, from his “Man in the mirror” lyrics).

Sometimes life’s storms (or pleasures!) cause us to forget why we are here. If you’ve discovered your Magnificent Obsession, you’ll understand what I mean. If you’re yet to do that (i.e discover your magnificent obsession), read this article for ideas you can use.

In your freelance writing – or any other vocation you’re engaged in – it’s important you stay true to your purpose, and core values. The things you hold important, and which define you.

People who succeed in life are often those who stay true to themselves.

They typically refuse to betray their consciences in order to gratify selfish desires. They never let themselves forget why they do what they do. And they always strive to put their best efforts into every endeavour they are privileged to partake in.

Simply put, they want to be (as Zig Ziglar put it) “meaningful specifics”, and to make useful impact.

Nothing, in my opinion, beats standing for something worthwhile in life.

It’s about having HONOUR!

But sadly, in today’s world, honour seems to mean increasingly little to most people. The desire for easy advancement has seduced people into forgetting that integrity is worth preserving.

That’s why we keep hearing disappointing news about people we thought were great achievers. They are getting found out for being frauds.

People we have previously celebrated for achieving legendary sporting feats are being asked to return the medals given them. They’re being stripped of titles awarded them. Not because they did something wrong elsewhere, but because it was discovered that they “cheated” to win the medals!

Some even denied for years – boldly too! – till undeniable proof finally emerged.

But Why Do People Feel a Need to Cut Corners So Much?

I’ve written about this in the past. I’m writing about it again, because the trend persists…even grows!

At work, in school, and even in personal relationships. More people seem to  find it hard to stay true to themselves. And to those that place trust in them. From bosses, to clients, friends, and spouses!

So many seem so keen to engage in naughty, soon as they think no one will find out!

And it seems not to matter that they’ve heard about another person getting caught. Indeed sometimes, like Edentu Oroso, a friend, noted, that “sweet taboo” is what really drives some into naughty acts!

In other words, they get a psychological high from being able to do it without getting caught!

What About those Who Cut Corners In Marriage?

The environment in the home, shapes behaviours and habits members develop.

Building homes is therefore key to raising people who value honour and integrity.

If a father and mother lie habitually, their kids may likely grow up seeing lying as normal.

And when it comes to infidelity, the same rule applies!

Lots of people know this. Yet it continues to happen. Sometimes to the most unlikely people too e.g. smart, intelligent, (supposedly) God-fearing!

Edentu Oroso recently started an online discussion on this. And it provoked interesting contributions. He asked “Are men by their nature promiscuous? Why do men cheat on their wives or girl friends?”

At a point, I decide to jump in and offer my opinions. As usual, I ended up writing one of my LONG epistles!

I recently decided to “archive” my ideas on issues to help resolve problems in society in PDF format. My maiden PDF (No. 1.0) was titled Generate Ideas to Solve YOUR Country’s Problems (Hint: Time for a female president in Nigeria?).

The thoughts I expressed on how to prevent marital infidelity, will soon be in PDF format. Once it’s ready, I’ll link to it HERE, and also send to my mailing list.

The Right Mental Attitude Can Help Spouses Stay Faithful!

In the PDF, I advocate a mental attitude for adoption. 14 years of successfully using it (despite storms!) in MY marriage, convince me spouses who do so will effortlessly remain faithful to one another.

Psychologically healthier home environments will result. And they will turn out their kids as “better” human beings into society!

Final Words: Look In the Mirror, and Change Your Ways Where Necessary!

Form the habit of looking in the “mirror” of your life DAILY.

Whenever you do, carefully ask yourself what you see.

A cheating husband or wife? A phony friend, or dishonest business partner?  An exploitative client?

Or do you see an uncommitted freelance writing service provider…who rarely meets agreed deadlines?!

If what you see in the “mirror” is GOOD, then keep doing what you’re doing.

But if it’s not, then – as Michael Jackson sang…MAKE THAT CHANGE…today!