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F-Y-I: Google Confirms Hacker Attacks On This Website

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I’ve periodically announced the fact that I believe that – this website (spontaneoudevelopment.com) – is a target of selectively orchestrated online attacks. Well, this past Wednesday 22nd May 2013, I got a detailed email from Google Web master Support confirming some of my suspicions.

Below is the detailed hacker email alert sent me by Google, and also the email I’ve since sent to my web host – in line with the advice given by Google.

I’ve also already commenced taking action to clean out the mentioned sites.

(Yesterday a power blackout lasting from about 8.30a.m till 10pm across Benin Republic meant I was unable to start earlier).

Subject: [Fwd: [Webmaster Tools] Message summary]

From: tayo at spontaneousdevelopment dot com

Date: Thu, May 23, 2013 10:57 am

To: support at hostgator.com

Cc: tayosolagbade at gmail dot com

Priority: High

Read receipt: requested

Hi

Google just gave me this heads up (see forwarded email below).

A few days back, I got an email that suggested efforts were being made to

sabotage my website. This confirms it.

See a blog post I put up about it:

http://spontaneousdevelopment.com/sdnuggets/fyi-orchestrated-sabotage-campaign-against-this-website/

Can you give me any ideas of how to proceed in resolving this problem.

Would appreciate any help you can give.

Thanks in advance,

With kindest regards,

Tayo

PS: Sometimes I even get the feeling my emails are being intercepted and

blocked. But again, I can’t prove it. Maybe this has something to do with

it.

—————————- Original Message —————————-

Subject: [Webmaster Tools] Message summary

From: wmt-noreply at google.com

Date: Wed, May 22, 2013 7:37 pm

To: tayo at spontaneousdevelopment dot com

————————————————————————–

Google Logo

Message summary

Webmaster Tools sent you the following important messages about sites in

your account. To keep your site healthy, we recommend regularly reviewing

these messages and addressing any critical issues.

Notice of Suspected Hacking on

http://www.excelheaven.spontaneousdevelopment.com/

Dear site owner or webmaster of

http://www.excelheaven.spontaneousdevelopment.com/,

We are writing to let you know that we believe some of your website’s pages

may be hacked. Specifically, we think that JavaScript has been injected

into your site by a third party and may be used to redirect users to

malicious sites. You should check your source code for any unfamiliar

JavaScript and in particular any files containing “counter.php”

style=”visibility: hidden; position: absolute; left: 0px; top: 0px”

width=”10″ height=”10″. The malicious code may be placed in HTML,

JavaScript or PHP files so it’s important to be thorough in your search.

The following are example URLs from your site where we found such content:

http://www.excelheaven.spontaneousdevelopment.com/buy_xl_software.htm

http://www.excelheaven.spontaneousdevelopment.com/pu_coaching.htm

[deleted text]

Notice of Suspected Hacking on http://www.iff.spontaneousdevelopment.com/

Dear site owner or webmaster of http://www.iff.spontaneousdevelopment.com/,

We are writing to let you know that we believe some of your website’s pages may be hacked. Specifically, we think that JavaScript has been injected into your site by a third party and may be used to redirect users to malicious sites. You should check your source code for any unfamiliar JavaScript and in particular any files containing “counter.php”

style=”visibility: hidden; position: absolute; left: 0px; top: 0px”

width=”10″ height=”10″. The malicious code may be placed in HTML,

JavaScript or PHP files so it’s important to be thorough in your search.

The following are example URLs from your site where we found such content:

http://www.iff.spontaneousdevelopment.com/feb06.htm

In addition, it’s also possible your server configuration files (such as

Apache’s .htaccess) have been compromised. As a result of this, your site
may be cloaking and showing the malicious content only in certain

situations.

We encourage you to investigate this matter in order to protect your

visitors. If your site was compromised, it’s important to not only remove

the malicious (and usually hidden) content from your pages, but also to

identify and fix the vulnerability. A good first step may be to contact

your web host’s technical support for assistance. It’s also important to

make sure that your website’s software is up-to-date with the latest

security updates and patches.

More information about cleaning your site can be found at:

http://support.google.com/webmasters/bin/answer.py?hl=en&answer=163634

Sincerely, Google Search Quality Team

Here’s My Understanding Of The Discovery Made By Google About Attacks On My Websites

I’m sharing all this information to help others, who now, or in future, may have similar experiences. It always helps to read about what others faced, and measures they took to recover.

The malicious code discovered on my websites by Google, was found to be (selectively) redirecting people who visit my website to possible scam – or spam – websites.

So, when someone visits my website from Google, they may even get a virus or malicious code warning about my website. And this will make the intending visitor quickly leave! They never arrive at that page. But I won’t know its happening.

In the meantime, Google will exclude that page from their searches – and I will receive less visits, enquiries and subscribers. That’s been happening – but my consistent blogging has helped cushion the effects a little bit.

See how complicated this whole issue is – and it’s devastating effect on my ability to earn more income?

Additional Insights Into The Negative Impact Of This Hacker Attack

It’s with this Google confirmation that I’m now able to put 2 and 2 together, to make sense of the strange experiences I’ve been having.

Burt Dubin has – as usual – kindly written in, on learning of this new development. My thanks to him – and my friends/family – for all the moral support, as I tackle these different efforts to pull me down (and they are MANY I tell you – without exaggeration).

There’s a consistent odd/tell tale trend I’ve noticed in these attacks. And those I’ve pointed it out to agree with me, that it is a good sign that these attacks are being done (or sponsored) by people who know me, and who want to discredit me. They are not the usual random attacks.

For instance, specific pages and documents on my website (e.g. my PDF resume, learning event PDF flyers and other pages specifically used to showcase my products and services for sale) are selectively attacked – not the entire website!

They also attacked my popular articles (which I still have on HTML pages) that attract a lot of readers. Those pages used to come up in Google, now they don’t.

The obvious purpose is to prevent me from gaining enough credibility to convert more visitors into buyers (like I did with the Canadian Farm Project Manager priest – to their surprise I’m sure).

It’s even affected my efforts to gain marketing traction for my learning events and new products here in Benin Republic. I’ve had so many in-person meetings that started out looking promising.

Then we would part by exchanging cards, and the prospects would promise to visit my website as agreed, in readiness for a follow up meeting.

As you can imagine, a visit to the website that results in a virus warning or a scam offer will NOT inspire any confidence in a prospect to pursue furthr relations with the owner!

Now consider the REAL possibility that ALL those I’ve been sending my Guest Posts, English-French Guide CDROMs and Seminar proposals to have been having that experience?!!

Our Websites Need To Be Protected – And We Will Often Need All The Help We Can Get

I’m not giving details of the solution I’ve settled on.

But the trends I’ve noticed in these attacks strongly suggest implementing it will make a lasting world of difference. Where I’ve been using this planned solution, I’ve NEVER had this problem, so I intend to simply extend it to the rest of the website.

Sadly, all this has prevented me from building on my success from a few months back.

It took a lot of work to get that far. I’d continued work to build on it. But I found it so strange that everything just came to an almost complete halt.

Google has now helped show why this happened, with this email advice they sent me. I’m now working hard to clean up the entire website to (as they correctly put it) protect my visitors/users.

Most of what I’m trying to achieve in my business (online and off the web) depends on how my website presents me.

That’s where I put up most of my marketing material to support even my offline efforts. Today, people readily Google you, and check your website out to make up their minds.

Mine has helped me earn decent income (and achieve great marketing mileage/exposure) while spending VERY little – even from Nigerians who find it hard to trust themselves talk less of others.

They’ve sent me money from different parts of the country. I have CEOs in Lagos, Niger, Kano, Ibadan and other places who own businesses (e.g. farms, and other companies) that have bought my handbook and subscribe to my newsletter, and are now friends but we’ve never met!

Someone I’d never met before even sent N35,000 (approx. $230 USD) into my bank account, two full weeks before travelling from over 8 hours away in Akwa Ibom, to meet me in Lagos. It was on a Saturday, and I spent about 4 hours putting him through practical Feed Formulation at a feed mill in Oko Oba, late last year.

Why Would A Stranger Send Me Payment 2 weeks Ahead For An In-Person Training? It Was Simply Based On What He Read On My Website.

And That’s How Powerful Your Writing Can Be!

If you own a website, you probably depend on it to achieve similar goals.

That’s why when your website is not in a good state of health, your chances of making useful progress are limited.

So, this kind of attack is something we all need to protect ourselves against. And we will often need all the help we can get to do so successfully.

When focussing on the serious business of attracting clients for your services, it can be annoying to discover “hidden”
attacks like these diluting one’s efforts. This has been an on-going battle for close to 2 years now.

Everytime I
clean it out, they come right back. I’m determined to make this
the last.

I’m grateful for the support provided by Google via their Webmaster tools email alert, and for my web host (Hostgator)’s usual amazing support.

PS: Oh, by the way, I know the “bad guys” are on my newsletter mailing list, and also possibly tune in via RSS etc. So they’re always lurking, with malicious intent.

Well, Here Are Some FINAL WORDS for Those Haters to Chew On…

A proverb in my language (Yoruba) says:

“Ota o le pa kadara mi da. Won kan le fa owo ago pada si ehin ni”

Literal translation: Enemies/haters/evil-doers cannot change my destiny. They can only pull the hands of the clock backwards”.

Contextual translation: “People who try to hurt/stop you can never succeed unless you let them. The best they can do is to slow you down. Eventually, if you don’t stop, YOU will wear THEM down.”

And of course, I hope you know that your “destiny” is what you make of it?

Yes it is!

Like Williams Jennings Bryan said…

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, but of choice. Not something to wish for, but to attain.”

Sigh. If these guys knew where I draw my inspiration from, they would have quit long ago. But becasue they are so DAFT, they persist in wasting their time.

How do you stop a guy who simply does not understand how to give up?

Your best bet is: Shoot him…and make sure you don’t miss!

The problem you will have is MY creator will not let ANYONE succeed in doing that to me.

Evil can never triumph over GOOD. Falsehood can never defeat TRUTH. Period.

So “haters”, if you can find better things to do with your time, I’d really advise you do SO NOW. You will NOT win this war. I’m in this to the end – and by then I’ll be the last one standing. Believe it.

My DN Travel News, Writing/Blogging

When YOU Love Writing Enough, It Will Reveal All Its Secrets To YOU!

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Has anyone ever told you that YOU were born a writer? If no, then I just did. And I assure you that it is true.If you have never thought about yourself this way, that’s probaby just because, the conditioning you’ve received from society has made you forget. This article explains how re-discovering and embracing this inborn ability will help you uncover secrets you need to excel at writing.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said:

“The power that is in you is new in nature. And none but you know what that is that you can do. Nor do you know until you try.”

I’m Living Proof That It Is True

Once you have the ability to read, hear, think and reason, you can be a writer. It’s that simple. If you could ask any of those who knew me as a child or during my days in school, the last thing anyone imagined me doing was writing – the way I do today, for myself, and for clients .

I’ve since seen others who never showed any aptitude for – or interest in – writing, suddenly venture into it, and get hooked. That’s why we have medical doctors, musicians, fashion designers, photographers, scientists, and people in many unlikely fields who write. And they often do so seriously too – many getting well paid in the process as well.

But Why Should You Believe Me?

Well, you see I’ve used my writing to achieve all kinds of (what I used to think were impossible) goals – including getting people to part with money for different things I sell (e.g. custom Excel-Visual Basic Driven software, for feed formulation, payslip generation etc); print and eBooks, usage rights to articles, consultations etc).

Considering my part of the world from which I’ve done it, I believe this achievement becomes even more significant.

What’s more, I’ve continued all this, despite relentless sponsored efforts to sabotage my work online.

A few years ago, my name was not known in certain circles. In my own country, many who knew me did not take my writing seriously.

But today, relentless use of my writing to boost name recognition and marketing reach has gotten me massive positive benefits.

And it cost me nothing more than the effort and time spent writing the relevant pieces.

And I’ll do more with time – the efforts of any detractors notwithstanding.

I Say The Above Not to Massage My Ego, But to Show You Can Do the Same

Just like me, you can (and probably already) do something similar – or better (like 19 year old Bamidele Onibalusi, who I love to brag about all the time). The problem, for some people, may however be that they do not yet believe they were born to write.

So, I’m going to say it again: You were born to write. Everybody was born with the innate instinct – and capacity – to write!

However, not everyone keys in to that realization early on in life. Some of us take a while to discover and take ownership of that inborn ability. Others may never, possibly because their interests and vocations (sometimes their fears!) won’t let them go in that direction.

When You Love Writing Enough, It Will Reveal All Its Secrets To You

I coined the above phrase from a quote used by Burt Dubin (which he credited to an author I cannot recall) during an interview.

The original quote went thus:

“When you love something enough, it reveals all its secrets to you.”

Burt Dubin is a renowned mentor of some of the world’s highest paid professional speakers. So he commands the attention of listeners when he speaks on the subject of achievement.

He also shared some useful information about Leonardo Da Vinci, as written by a biographer (in the encyclopedia Britannica):

“From his earliest days, he flung himself upon his studies with an unprecedented ardor of delight and curiosity.”

Based on the above Burt rightly advocates immersing yourself in your vocation, with the ardor of a lover, if you want to excel at it.

He noted that that was how Da Vinci developed the concept of submarines, aircraft and more, “hundreds of years before they were invented”.

Burt further noted that that was how he (i.e. Burt) developed his unique grasp of the speaking business.

It goes without saying, therefore, that that IS what YOU need to do as well, if you want to excel at writing – or indeed any other vocation that catches your fancy..

Like I said when I started this piece, you were born to write. Therefore, to paraphrase Mr. Dubin, “Surrender to Your Purpose”!

The results won’t appear overnight. But as you continue, you’ll gradually begin delivering amazing writing output. And those who read your work will confirm it.

Good luck!

My DN Travel News, Parenting

The Trick About Parenting (Based on A Tip from Robert Kiyosaki)

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Oprah Winfrey once had a number of unusually successful child geniuses on her show, some as young as 5 years old (and I think even younger!). Despite their ages, these kids were already earning huge amounts of income, because of special skills or talents discovered early and encouraged/nurtured by their parent(s).

It is my considered opinion, that children who discover purpose in life that early, often have parents who KNOW the “trick of parenting”.

But What Exactly Is The “Trick About Parenting”?

Robert Kiyosaki* says:

“The trick about parenting is to find ways to make a child want to learn rather than forcing the child to learn”.

*Note: Robert Kiyosaki is a 4th generation Japanese American whose ideas about educational reform have transformed the thinking of millions of parents and educators. If you’re interested, you might want to get a copy of his bestseller “If you want to be rich and happy, don’t go to school?” and “Rich Kid Smart Kid” (Google the titles). Both books offer very good value for money – and will help any serious parent easily empower his/her child to tackle key life challenges.

So How Do You Apply This “Trick” To Help Your Kids?

What follows is my experience based opinion as one who has had to be a parent to five kids during the most turbulent period of my life (believe me).

Like I tell all who care to listen, I LIVE for my kids. Everything I do is driven by my desire to equip myself to be the best possible parent to them. And that is not limited to financial and material provisions.

Development of sound emotional and intellectual capacity to function effectively in ANY socioeconomic environment, is something I consider even more important.

I don’t want them going through life at the mercy of people or circumstances. What I’ve seen out here tells me that can happen if they lack proper preparation.

You need to find the way that each child prefers to learn, and use it to pass on whatever new knowledge/skills you want him to acquire. This requires making out time to be with your child, and carefully observing him/her over time.

NOTE: If you really love your child, then spending time watching him/her will certainly not be a boring or difficult experience for you – NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE.

Once you begin helping your child develop that passion, encourage him/her to apply what s/he learns – and not be afraid to make mistakes at first.

To really make a success of this, inculcate in your child the understanding that intelligent mistake making is a useful way to learn. That will remove a major potential “block” from her thinking, that would otherwise hold her back for years – if not throughout life!

You Have To Believe Irrationally In Your Child – And Infect Her with the Same Belief

There’s a good example in history. And who better than the author of a book that has sparked the self-development thinking revolution to show us how to do this?

Napoleon Hill – the legendary author of the best selling “THINK and GROW RICH” – dared to envision a normal life for his own son who was (unfortunately?) born without physical evidence of ears!

Hill passionately willed that his son would go through life, not feeling inadequate in anyway because of his physical handicap.

Somehow, that “silent communication” – and some actions Hill took – got through to his son.

It would later result in the deaf boy acquiring the ability to speak/hear normally. But that was not all. His son would also go on to play a VERY influential role, in the successful introduction of a special hearing device for use by other deaf people across the world.

The full details are in Hill’s book – Think and Grow Rich. Get a copy and read it.

I have met/listened to many people who claimed to have read that book. And yet when I asked them about this story, not one could recall reading it – NOT A SINGLE PERSON!

To be fair to them, I actually believe they read it, and subconsciously chose to forget it, because it sounded too improbable.

And yet we know that it happened just as Hill wrote it – else it would not have been published in that book and reproduced for decades like it has!

Hill’s amazing success story with his deaf son shows that he knew the trick about parenting.

His example shows what the power of your passionate desire for a purposeful existence for your child can do.

Your Child’s Future Depends Your Use of “This Trick”

Bring your life lessons about succeeding in the real world, to bear in coaching your children. Do this along the lines of THEIR natural interests/talents – to give them the best possible chance of excelling in life, as independent adults.

That’s my take on the trick about parenting.

And I believe that if I fail in doing that – for even ONE of my kids – I would have failed as a parent. That realization drives me every day in “parenting” my kids.

Give your child a chance to discover him/herself fully, and subsequently live a life of complete fulfillment, doing things that really bring joy and satisfaction to him/her.

That child will reward you in many ways – among other things, by becoming phenomenally successful, and telling others the role you played.

Just like Michael Jordan and John Maxwell acknowledged their fathers – or as Fela Anikulapo Kuti and Tupac Shakur credited their mothers.

Other examples abound in autobiographies.

Think of your child, and the uncertain future that awaits him/her if you fail to do this. You still have a good opportunity to make the necessary difference for him/her.You can use the ideas offered in this article to plan how to prepare him/her to succeed.

I sincerely hope your conscience guides you to take the right decision about how to “parent” your child.

Career Development, My DN Travel News

This Dangerous Mindset Can Derail Your Career

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In this write-up,  I highlight a mindset that can literally damage your career advancement prospects in any company,IF you let it get a hold of you. Do you have big career ambitions? Read this article, to learn how to avoid this potential obstacle.

A True Story About A Group of Students

A group of students in a higher institution lived together on campus. They often complained of not having enough money to eat. Yet when asked to emulate their colleagues who made money in the same hostel by being entrepreneurial (e.g. providing barbing services, selling mobile phone batteries etc), they always found an excuse not to do so.

But ever so often they asked certain older persons – who held jobs – to give them money, and got some. But sometimes when told no, they would fume and look accusingly at the person who declined to do so!

One day, one of the older persons got upset and asked them:

“Why do you act as it I owe you money? I’m not your parent for heaven’s sake. We only met here! And how do you think I got the money I have on me? Certainly not by behaving the way you do! Look, if you refuse to emulate your colleagues and start some income earning activity, do NOT come demanding money from me. You refusal to try implies you do not need money. So don’t think you can blackmail anyone by saying you asked them for money to eat and they said NO. If you change your attitude, people will help you!”

By way of interest, this group of undergraduates still have not changed. They are blinded by an irrational entitlement mentality. And that’s likely to hurt them later in life – beyond intermittent hunger pangs!

What I mean by “an entitlement mentality” is thinking that being somewhere entitles you to anything other have, that you want. That’s an unrealistic – indeed childish – assumption to make.

An Entitlement Mentality Can Also Hurt a Person in Paid Employment  – Badly Too

I believe it’s safe to say everyone who works for an employer wants to enjoy career advancement. But getting it – at least in most companies run based on merit – requires proving yourself worthy. Your being there for 10 years will not necessarily qualify you.

Having a great sense of humour, and being liked by everyone (is that even possible…everyone?) – including many of the decision makers, may not make them pick you, if there’s a better candidate.

So to get picked, you must prove to the decision makers that YOU are the best person for the job!

1. It Can Even Make You Blame Others – With Potentially Serious Consequences

Yes. This can happen. An employee with an entitlement mentality may find it hard to accept, if s/he does not get a career opportunity s/he’s been hoping for.

And it can be worse for people who believe that getting along with everyone will get them there. When that does not happen, they may resort to blaming others.

Once you feel someone is to blame, and conclude you cannot change the situation, RESENTMENT could take over. And ANGER may follow closely behind.

These emotions may find a way to show up in your work related behaviour. You could become less motivated, and probably irritable.

If they get wind of it, your bosses could mark you down as a result!

2. YOU Alone Are Responsible For What Happens to Your Career – No One Else

No matter what anyone tells you, only YOU are responsible for whatever comes your way in life: even if people plotted against you and (seem to have) succeeded.

This is because you can never control (or foresee) what others will or will not do to you. Therefore you can only reliably prepare yourself, to deal successfully with challenges that may come your way.

Once you understand this important truth, you’ll appreciate the need to explore ways to improve your ability to do your job. And whenever anything goes wrong (e.g. you don’t get a benefit you want), you will simply see it as a sign that you have more work to do. Period.

Even if you suspect someone of trying to stop you, don’t mentally throw your hands up in frustration. You will NOT be the first person to have such an experience!

If I recall correctly, it’s called “office politics”. You don’t have to play it, but it’s good to understand how it works, and use that knowledge to equip yourself to get around it. That’s not likely to be a wasted effort, because you’ll need that know-how to succeed as you advance your career even further.

NB:  Nobody can stop you. The best they can do is slow you down. Keep that in mind ALWAYS.

REMEMBER: It Will Always Be About What’s Best for the Company

I know I’ve painted a rather unpleasant picture here. But the truth is that these things do happen.

And we need to realise that no one is immune to it. Not me, and not YOU.

It is therefore important to ensure that you regularly remind yourself that YOU – and YOU ALONE – can truly determine how far you go in your career.

Avoid developing an entitlement mentality. No matter how long you serve. Instead, aim to deliver results that will prove you are worthy of the rewards or benefits you seek.

Keep the following TRUTH in mind at all times: For smart and successful employers, it will always be about what’s best for the company, and not just what you – or other employees – want!

NB: If you’re an employer, click here to learn how I can help you get the results you want from your employees. Here’s a French version of the aforementioned flyer (PDF).

 

My DN Travel News, Self-Development

Don’t Be a Professional Student: “Déplacer” Towards Your Goals As Often As Possible

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There are many dimensions of success. Being rich is one of them. But today, more people are increasingly recognising that riches alone are not enough to live a truly successful life.

Indeed some people – like the Dalai Lama – are so far evolved in their understanding of life, that their interest in material possessions is very limited. They often advise having enough to meet your needs, and using the rest to help others meet theirs.

Ultimately, It’s Cbout Living a Balanced Life.

That is the true essence of life: make the most of yourself, in a way that benefits others.

However, succeeding in the above mentioned manner still requires real world relevant competence. In other words, you must regularly acquire useful learning, and apply it to productive ends.

There is really no other way to make the most of yourself, and add value to others. You must learn more, and then do more, in order to become more, and thus be able to give more.

It’s a Simple Concept: But Some of Us Apply It Incorrectly (Due to Fear, Laziness etc)

The aspect people often get wrong is the doing bit. Many of us are so good at learning. It’s a habit we developed from our early schooling years. If you want to do well, take an extra subject or course. Go for another degree program. Get an MBA. And so on.

But here’s the problem. Ask yourself WHY you need to go back and learn more. What is the reason you need that additional bit of knowledge or “education” (if we can call it that)? If you cannot find a clear and definitive answer to that question, it’s quite likely that you’re doing it to avoid taking action.

In other words, you’re most probably scared of taking the next step – which will often be to go out into the real world, with all that new knowledge you have, and use it to get what you need. And what you need – probably badly too – could be a new or better job, new or better clients, and so on.

That’s Why Some People Succeed in Losing Weight & Others Don’t

This attitude denies many people success in different areas of their lives – even the financially successful. For instance we have rich people who are perpetually struggling with obesity.

They buy books and videos – and even attend workshops – by celebrity health and fitness gurus. But they never get around to actually doing what those experts recommend. At least not on a consistent enough basis to get sustainable results. Or maybe they do, and then relapse.

In other words, they get all this knowledge but fail to put it to productive, long term use. And that ultimately defeats the purpose for which they went out and got the knowledge in the first place! What’s more, it amounts to a significant waste of money, time and effort on their part. Not to talk of the disappointment their fitness coach, as well as loved ones and friends will experience.

Sometimes it’s a lack of self-discipline that makes people act this way – or just pure laziness.

Whatever may be the cause, it effectively keeps them from succeeding in that area of their lives. So they have money, but they lack health and wellness – and may have to spend a lot of that money repairing their health later on in life (e.g. heart related problems often associated with obesity may develop).

It’s Also Why Some Entrepreneurs Make Progress, and Others Don’t

It’s funny. You would expect that a person who claims to have a “dream” of running his own business would be more diligent.

Sadly, the attitude of many towards applying themselves to get results in their business suggests otherwise. Some people attend seminars or workshops, and read books on starting up their businesses, but never really start anything worthwhile.

They just keep attending more seminars, reading more books, “start” to make more plans – but they never really begin. Oh, yes…and they talk more and more about why they cannot start yet too :-)

There are also those who manage to get started, but later learn from a book/seminar that they need to make some changes in order for their businesses to move to the next level.

However, instead of doing that, they keep procrastinating – and end up never achieving much.

It is the same thing for people in paid employment who desire career advancement, and so buy books about how to excel at work, but fail to apply what the learn to deliver improved workplace performances to attract promotions, bonuses etc.

Don’t Be a Professional Student: “Déplacer” As Often As Possible Towards Your Goals

Examples of people caught in the above “trap’ surround us. Anyone who behaves this way has become a PROFESSIONAL STUDENT!

That’s not a good title to have I tell you.

Those who take action to put what they learn to use in achieving their desired goals succeed.  That’s why some entrepreneurs’ businesses grow, while those run by others don’t. It’s also why some people succeed in dropping dress sizes by following the fitness expert’s instructions, and others don’t.

The French use an expression I like a lot. It’s “Déplacer” (pronounced “day plah say”) and it means “to move”. But I like to think of it as “displacing yourself”.

If you don’t achieve any movement (by displacing yourself from where you are NOW) towards the goal you claim to have, you will make no progress!

So, promise yourself that you’ll make sure you “Déplacer” as often as possible from today, towards your goals.

Every day, question yourself: Where am I now? Where was I last month? Last week? Yesterday? Have I become more? If YES, how much more? How much closer am I now to my goal?

When you do not “se déplacer”, you’re working towards becoming a professional student: Don’t let that happen to YOU!

There is a great deal of difference between having knowledge and applying it. The teacher asked. “What is Agriculture?” The pupil replied, “Agriculture is just like farming, but farming is doing it. – W.F. Weiherman

Entrepreneurship, My DN Travel News

3 Things an Entrepreneur Must Not Do to Succeed

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Don’t shoot yourself in the foot, and deny yourself useful progress in your business. As much as possible, avoid doing any of the 3 things discussed in this article.

1. Don’t Wait For Connections to Make Progress: Get Out & Make Things Happen Instead!

Sometimes who you know matters more than what you know. But some of us may have to start without knowing anyone that matters. Even when we try to meet such people, we may get repeatedly snubbed.

I suggest you adopt the mind set that if you cannot connect with someone who can make things happen for you, keep going all the same, till you make a way for yourself.

Twice I got myself TV exposure on prime time without knowing anyone in my startup year. I’ve since lost interest in that medium for getting marketing exposure I need for my service and products.

At the time when I needed it however, I found a way to access it at zero cost. Since I knew no one, I simply had to get creative, and believe in myself. On both occasions, I took action on ideas that came into my head.

In the first instance the Programmes Manager – Mr Ola Fajemisin (who I’d never met before) – simply looked at my proposal, listened to my request and referred me to someone in his department.

The second time, I delivered a copy of my “Proven 5-Step Formula” language book to him, with a letter proposing a possible TV program to be titled “How to learn ANY Language in 3 months or less”. After reading through the book, he again referred me.

In both instances that I got on the show, all I did was “ask”!

Okay, maybe some people would say getting to be a guest on a TV show is no big deal. But I do know that quite a lot of people would actually prefer to approach someone they think has the “connections”, to get them on the show.

In some parts of the world people pay publicists/PR people to do this work. If that works for you, go for it. The ideas I’ve offered above may appeal to people with limited funds.

Here’s a more recent example: When I relocated here in Benin Republic on 1st April 2013 , I knew no one. And no one knew me. Yet less than 2 weeks later, I had people who went out of their way (asking nothing in return) to help me secure accommodation at a fraction of the standard rate. These were everyday people I had known for only 24 to 48 hours. Yet they stuck their necks out to convince those in charge.

If I’d waited to meet “influential” people, I may have been less lucky!

2. Don’t Cut Corners – It’ll Come Back to Haunt You

I once met a group of young people, who had gotten through their schooling years – including gaining admission to university – by either cheating in exams or “buying” their grades from teachers/lecturers.

These guys had “learnt” a crooked way to get what they wanted. They only needed to know what to give the person in charge (that’s one kind of “connection” – but a dishonest one).

So, when I told them I could teach them how to prepare for – and pass – exams in the university, they laughed in my face. Why? Because they believed the same strategy would help them get passing grades.

Some people who do business have a similar mental attitude.

They cannot be bothered to invest time and effort in learning the ropes of marketing their products and services effectively. Instead, they actively establish “connections” with corruptible elements in their target client companies for instance. Once there, they simply buy their way to the juiciest contracts.

The truth is however that making a crooked entry into business can be costly in the long run. You might get away with it initially, but it could come back to haunt you years after.

Among other things, you would become incapable of sharing your “success secrets” with other entrepreneurs. That’s because you will be too embarrassed to admit what you did to get ahead.

Entrepreneurs who cut corners in this manner can be notoriously difficult to engage in open conversation about the HOW of building a business from the ground up.

Many times they will avoid accepting invitations to coach aspiring entrepreneurs. This is because they lack a reproducible success formula they can confidently pass to others. And that’s the price you pay when you cut corners: a lack of REAL know-how or expertise!

Authentic success is ALWAYS reproducible. That’s why Robert Kiyosaki’s books and learning events made him so popular!

3. Don’t Hero-Worship Successful Entrepreneurs You Connect With – Add Value to Them Instead!

Finally, what happens if you do connect with entrepreneurs who can make things happen for you?

I suggest avoid becoming a yes-man or robot doing anything they tell you. Hero-worshipping successful entrepreneurs/persons will not do you any good.

Remember that they are flesh and blood – human – just like you. You can (and should!) admire them, and learn from them.

But do not swallow everything they say as “God’s” truth.

Question things they tell you – sometimes outwardly (but politely!), and at other times, in your mind – before you apply them.

It is in your interest to retain conscious use of your senses whenever you’re with such people.

That will enable you make the most of the opportunity to interact with them. Never think you have nothing to offer. Challenge yourself to intelligently engage them in conversation about issues that arise.

Chances are good that you’ll contribute useful insights at some point.

Doing so can earn you their respect. And that could make them open even more doors of opportunities for you!

My DN Travel News, Public Speaking

No. 90: Why We Need to Emulate Scientists

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Did you know you can now literally live without breathing?

Who would have thought it possible? That an injection of a man made particle into your bloodstream can keep you alive, and well by supplying precious oxgen – even when you’re not breathing – for up to 30 LONG minutes!

Many struggle to believe Napoleon Hill’s famous “Whatever the human mind can conceive it can achieve” assertion.

Well, this scientific breakthrough reported in an August 2012 article ((linked below) proves it!

This issue of my Speaking IDEAS newsletter highlights valuable lessons we can learn from scientists.

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Publication: Tayo Solagbade’s Weekly Public Speaking IDEAS Page (PSIP) Newsletter
Date: Monday 20th May 2013
No:90
Title: Why We Need to Emulate Scientists
Author & Publisher: Tayo K. Solagbade [234-803-302-1263]
Blog URL: http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/blog
Archive (For Blog version started 24th September 2011): Click here

Hi,

Please find below the latest issue of my Speaking IDEAS newsletter.

Autorun CDROM for Part 1 (Greetings i.e. Salutation/Accueil) of the Quick & Dirty Guide to English Language for French Speakers…and to French Language for English Speakers)

a). Video you can playback repeatedly from start to finish

b). Excel workbook you can open and click individual phrases to listen, or print out to read.

c). 26 individual audio files you can listen to on your PC or mobile

Price: N2,000 / 6,000 F CFA

(free delivery in Cotonou & Calavi in Benin Republic)

Screenshot of autorun CD ROM for Part 1 of the Quick and Dirty Guide for French and English Learners

Above: Screenshot of autorun CD ROM for Part 1 of the Quick and Dirty Guide for French and English Learners

(Click HERE to see screenshots & Watch video)

Find out how to get a copy here …

 

No. 90: Why We Need to Emulate Scientists

**** **********
NB: If you ever find yourself wondering what else I’ve written, some days after you’ve read THIS Speaking Ideas newsletter I send out on a Monday, here’s what you can do to find out: Point your browser to www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/sdnuggets to read at least ONE new post added to my SD Nuggets blog on a different category from Tuesday till Saturday (sometimes even Sundays) in line with this publishing schedule :-)
**********

Did you know you can now literally live without breathing?

Who would have thought it possible? That an injection of a man made particle into your bloodstream can keep you alive, and well – even when you’re not breathing – for up to 30 LONG minutes!

Many struggle to believe Napoleon Hill’s famous “Whatever the human mind can conceive it can achieve” assertion.

Well, this scientific breakthrough(clik to read) mentioned in an August 2012 article proves it!

This issue of my Speaking IDEAS newsletter highlights valuable lessons we can learn from scientists.

Scientists Are Masters at Making Impossible Things Our Everyday Realities

Read this amazing report, and marvel: Scientists at Boston University have invented an oxygen particle that if injected in the blood, allows you to stay alive without breathing.

I’ve long held the opinion that scientists are some of the most emotionally intelligent people on the planet.

Daniel Goleman explained in his book on “Emotional Intelligence (EI)” that to be emotionally intelligent, you must learn to control and use your emotions to achieve improvements in performance and learning.

Among other examples, he mentioned “Ability to persevere in spite of adversity or frustration i.e. things going wrong” as an important dimension of EI.

They Use Their Setbacks & Mistakes as Stepping Stones to Success

Conducting experiments in remote laboratories, and most times not finding what you want, can be a tough psychological challenge to handle. Yet scientists dedicate decades of their lives to doing just that.

Edison reportedly failed with over 9,000 experiments, before discovering the tungsten filament that made light bulbs possible.

Then he famously proclaimed, based on his experience: Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.

From the way they work, his fellow scientists apparently agree. Some do it because they’ve lost a loved one to an ailment with no cure, and dedicated their lives to finding one. For others it’s just about creating a legacy, and/or exploring new frontiers, to help mankind take quantum leaps.

For instance, Dr. John Kheir, who reportedly initiated the research work that led to this breakthrough, got the inspiration after losing a patient.  An unexpected filling of her lungs with blood occurred during surgery. They were unable to drain it out, and get oxygen to her brain before fatal damage was done.

But today, those same doctors have put that bad experience to good use (Isn’t that what Zig Ziglar kept telling us to do? Why do we keep forgetting…or refusing to believe ?).

Millions of lives can now be saved – ensuring that the loss of that young girl’s life was not in vain. The benefits are obvious. And not just in medicine. Military personnel who have to work underwater can fall back on it, if their breathing gear fails. Private sector applications will undoubtedly evolve over time.

Scientists Perform Miracles Because They Refuse to Give Up On Us: But We Take Them for Granted!

Most people would rather not be stuck in a lab, wearing unfashionable white coats, and looking into microscopes day and night.

Yet we expect scientists to do just that. We wait on them to discover the next miracle cure. Ironically, they are just as human as we are. But they don’t let themselves get frustrated by setbacks. If they did, there would be no new cures or medical breakthroughs for us to celebrate or look forward to!

Most of these guys simply do not know how to quit.

A quote I recently read (tweeted by @KarenKeller, and re tweeted by Lia Han @bemycareercoach) says:

“Life has two rules: (1). Never Quit. (2). Always Remember rule No. 1.”

I’m convinced many successful scientists strictly abide by the above mentioned rules.

How to Emulate Scientists: When Something Gets In Your Way, Simply Change Gears & Accelerate!

I actually think we, as experts-who-speak, can harvest many useful insights, for use in delivering talks (and in serving clients as experts), by studying scientists more closely.

Here’s how…

What do you do when you drive up to a muddy stretch of road that you know your car could get stuck in? You’re likely to change gears, and then step on the accelerator pedal to gain additional traction.

Well, why not do the same thing in your life?

Whenever you get to the inevitable rough and hilly terrains in life, change gears and step on it!

Yes, behave the way you do when driving. But this time it will be your life, not your car.

You’ll leave that challenge far behind you in no time.

Jim Rohn wrote:

“Smile at adversity and act quickly to eliminate it”.

He was right.

Final Words:  One More Reason Why You Need to Emulate Scientists As An Expert-Who-Speaks

This business of life is not just about you.

There is a world out there that needs you to make the most of yourself. Every time you don’t, one or more people will be denied the help they require.  You have an obligation to not let that happen.

The scientists understand this. And that’s why even after they achieve a breakthrough, they celebrate and then get back to work. They know more people who need help, depend on them to do so!

You, as an expert-who-speaks, must realize you have a similar role to play in the lives of your target audience. The only difference is simply that while scientists develop life-giving/improving solutions, you deliver life-changing/enhancing messages.

Ultimately both target audience groups live richer lives when we do our work right.

You may be successful already, but that does not mean your work is done.

I therefore urge you to go back and think up the next new idea or message to turn the lives of your target audiences around for the better.  You can get valuable guidance and help here.

This final Jim Rohn quote provides a fitting end to this piece:

“Always be eager to learn, no matter how successful you might already be. In the Millionaires’s Club, we sometimes invite a billionaire to come talk to us. He says, ‘You’re doing okay, but come on. How about if you really poured it on!'”

Need More Details of How to Make The Above Ideas Work for YOU?

If you need more specific details of how to make use of the ideas I’ve shared in this newsletter, send me a message using this request form (with “Re: Why We Need to Emulate Scientists ” in the subject line).

SD Nuggets Blog™

 New posts from last week that may interest you! *
Public Speaking
[Monday]:

Entrepreneurship [Tuesday]:
Self-Development [Wednesday]:

Career Development [Thursday]:
Why 10 Years On Your Job May Not Mean YOU Have 10 Years Experience!

Parenting [Friday]:

Writing/Blogging [Saturday]:
Want me to write for you? Click here to get zero risk article and report writing support…

Click now

Have a lovely week!

Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist

*Sole Agent For Burt Dubin’s Speaker Mentoring Service In Africa

Mobile: 234-803-302-1263

http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com

Self-Development/Performance Enhancement Specialist – Tayo Solagbade – works as a multipreneurial freelance writer providing  zero risk article and report writing support for website owners, while travelling slowly across West Africa as a Location Independent Entrepreneur.

He’s presently based in Benin Republic, where he’s preparing an English-French Language Guide, City Travel Guides, and a Commercial Rabbit Farming Guide.

In a previous life, before leaving to become self-employed, Tayo served for seven years as a high performing manager in Guinness Nigeria. He rose from Shift Brewer, to Training & Technical Development Manager, then later acted in senior management roles as Production Manager and Technical Manager.

When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Self-Development Nuggets™ blog, and Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter (which he publishes to promote Burt Dubin’s Public Speaking Mentoring service to experts working across the African continent).

Connect with him on Twitter @tksola.com and Facebook.
==================

Have you been undecided about whether or not to become a paid speaker? Or have you been trying to get your speaking career off the ground with little success?

Here’s a tip: Burt Dubin works with people who want to be speakers, and with speakers who want to be masters. Click here to visit his website NOW and submit a contact form message telling him what challenges you’re facing, and how you’d like him to help you. Tell him I sent you, and you’ll get a pleasant surprise offer from him.

Comments?

What do you think of the above message? Do you have any personal experience to share on this subject? Are there some other points you feel can be added, to help persons looking for answers? Please share your thoughts!

Share this issue!

Do you know anyone who might benefit from reading this newsletter issue? Why not hit the forward button now, and send it to him/her with a short recommendation. You can also use share it via your social media channels. Thanks in advance.

View Tayos video tutorials and demonstrations on Facebook Productivity Tips, Web Marketing, and for his Custom MS Excel-VB driven software applicationsConnect with Tayo on Facebook.comConnect with Tayo on Twitter.comConnect with Tayo on Google Plus

What fears or doubts are keeping you from (a) taking up Burt Dubin’s monthly speaker mentoring, or (b) buying his products?

You can choose to purchase Burt’s mentoring at any of the three (3) levels listed below:

1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Burt’s three mentoring packages can be likened to the seating options offered by airlines: Budget Delight (Economy); Mid Range (Business); and Top Shelf (First Class).

At least that’s how I like to think of them!

All three will get you to your desired destination of “speaking success-ville” – so long as you meet the requirements/play your part well (your fare, abide by the set guidelines etc). During the “flight”, the seat you have will determine how much personal service attention and preference the provider will accord you. It’s that simple :-)

So, make your choice:1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Send me an e-mail with your questions via tayo at tksola dot com. In the meantime, why not get started by subscribing here to get his 7-Part Course (How To Succeed And Get Paid As A Professional Speaker) .  . . and receive his monthly newsletter (Speaking Biz Strategies Letter) at no cost.

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My DN Travel News, Writing/Blogging

A Useful Story to Remember Whenever Things Go Wrong

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Setbacks are bound to happen. Whenever you experience one in your writing business or any other area of your life,  maintain a positive mindset. Things will eventually get better. In fact, sometimes things turn out better than before, as a result of that “seeming” setback or “bad luck”!

The story you’re about to read illustrates this perfectly. You may therefore find it useful to recall or reread it to boost your morale anytime you’re down.

I’ve heard a similar story before, but this version recently narrated to me by Moumouni Toure (a Beninese friend here in Calavi), distills the lesson about what we term “good” and “bad” luck much better. Read it, and you’ll agree with me :-)

A King Discovers The True Meaning of Luck

What is luck? And when is it right to call it “good” or “bad”? Or how is “good luck” different from “bad luck”? At what point does one become the other? This interesting story basically shows that luck is what we make of it. There is really no good luck or bad luck. Read on to understand.

There was once a King who had a trusted servant/body guard who served him diligently and faithfully.

The servant held very strong beliefs about God, and especially adversity. He always gave gratitude to God whenever anything good happened. And when something bad happened, he would say “It’s God’s will. There is a purpose for it, though we may not know it now”.

The King Loses a Finger…Due to Bad Luck?

One day the king went hunting with the servant. At a point he was attacked by a group of wild animals. The servant valiantly fought off the animals and managed to save the king – who however lost a finger.

With the animals chased off, the king looked at his missing finger in horror. To his extreme annoyance however, the servant (predictably) said “It’s God’s will.There is a purpose for it, though we may not know it now”.

Thoroughly vexed, the injured king had the servant locked up in prison as soon as they got back to the palace. He simply could not see how any good could come from his loss of a finger!

The King’s Missing Finger Saves His Life

Some months later, the king went hunting again, but this time alone.

Unfortunately, he got captured by a group of savages who were looking for a human being to sacrifice to their gods. He was taken to their king, who asked them to prepare him for the ceremony.

But when the medicine man examined him to be sure he was free from any defects (a requirement for the sacrifice to be accepted by the gods), they discovered he was missing a finger.

When the king of the cannibals heard this, he ordered the immediate release of the nine-fingered prisoner. His continued presence threatened to nullify all the preparations to appease the gods!

Greatly relieved at being set free, the king hurried home, thinking how right his servant had been.

He Frees The Servant – And Learns An Even Greater Lesson About (Seeming) Bad Luck!

Getting back home, the relieved king promptly ordered the release of his servant from prison.

The latter arrived and immediately asked why the king had freed him. The king explained how his missing finger had prevented him from being used as a sacrifice, noting that the servant had been right all along.

He had indeed lost that finger for a good purpose that he could not see at the time!

At this point the king proceeded to apologise to the servant for sending him to jail.

But the servant quickly stopped him, pointing out that had he not been in prison, he (the servant) would have accompanied the king on the hunt. And the savages would have found him perfect for the sacrifice i.e. he would have been killed!

In other words he noted, getting put in jail had turned out to be a run of good luck disguised as bad luck!

Final Words: When Bad Things Happen, It May Be for Our Own Good

You may have heard of the concept of the glass cup filled to the middle, which an optimist would call “half-filled” and a pessimist “half-empty”.

How we think when things go wrong in our lives can influence how far we progress towards our goal. When you lose a client, miss a deadline or make a major mistake in a write-up you submit, don’t beat yourself up so bad that other things you need to do suffer.

Some good may still come of it. You can even create that benefit yourself. For instance, to prevent a future occurrence of such mistakes , you could decide to develop ruthless focus in doing your work in future. As a result, your work quality may go through the roof. And your fees would follow suit!

I’ve never been one to rationalize my failures. However, my study of the Science of Getting Rich eBook  tells me I may not get something I want when I try, not because I’m incompetent, but because I’m not ready for it.

There are forces working on our behalf, to prepare us for every stage of advancement in life. When they keep us from going in a direction we want, at a particular point in time, it can be painful or frustrating.

However, later on, the benefit of hindsight could make it apparent, that we are better off.

Remembering this can help us deal more successfully with inevitable ups and downs we experience in life. We will understand that it will often be to a useful end.

I’ll end with the following words of wisdom from Jim Rohn:

Smile at adversity and act quickly to eliminate it. Expect adversity for it shall surely appear. Be grateful for adversity for it forces the human spirit to grow – for surely the human character is formed not in the absence of difficulty, but in our response to difficulty. All things, even adversity, have their worthy purpose.

Career Development, Entrepreneurship, Farm Biz, General, My DN Travel News, Parenting, Public Speaking, Self-Development, Writing/Blogging

FYI: Orchestrated Sabotage Campaign Against This Website

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The email (in the screenshot below) is a 419 – that is scam – message being circulated disguised as if it’s from my website email (tayo at spontaneousdevelopment.com).

Believe it or not, this one came right into my inbox yesternight – got me wondering why I would send myself an email, till I read the contents…

Click the screenshot below to view my detailed illustration

Click now

This is the 1st bit of proof I’m getting to confirm the suspicions I’ve had that my work online is being sabotaged.

2 days ago, I discovered one of the websites I’ve earned income from had deleted my account without notice*

*******!

NB: Just this evening, I got a response from the above mentioned website to my enquiry saying my account had been reactivated. (See screenshot below). So that’s ONE less to worry about. But the big matter of the scam emails above remains…

Click now

*******

Earlier LinkedIn.com locked my account accusing me of “suspicious activity”.

This has been a serious running battle for me for a while.

A group of people are orchestrating these attacks to stop the obvious growth of my website traffic, and my profile.

These are mostly sponsored attacks. And it’s difficult to trace them

See (below) the links to articles I’ve had to publish on my website each time I’ve been punished for what I did not do as above.

Below the links is a message I included in an application I just submitted to a network. It gives details.

1. http://spontaneousdevelopment.com/sdnuggets/if-you-cant-find-me-on-linkedin-com-heres-why/

2. http://spontaneousdevelopment.com/sdnuggets/how-to-unmask-defeat-blood-sucking-vampires/

One thing is certain. They can never stop me.

==BELOW: The message I submitted to an online forum in which I had to warn the owners about the above situation==

I need to say this.

I’m having a running battle getting some bad guys off my back with regard to my website and blog. It’s costing me access to income earning and reputation building networks.

If you accept me into this forum PLEASE know that I do NOT do any kind of spamming, scamming or illegal stuff online.

LinkedIn.com and now constant-content.com (where I used to earn income as a writer) have recently locked me out of their websites.

I still do not know why – but LinkedIn replied to say they noticed “suspicious activity” in my account.

Just this evening I got a fake lottery email I apparently sent to myself from my domain based email (tayo at spontaneousdevelopment.com)!

Then it began to make sense!!

Basically they use my emaill address in place of the name for the sender.

Except for Internet savvy recipients, who think to check the email BEHIND the sender name (which they used my email to replace) most people will conclude the scam message came from my email, click to label it spam – and my website gets whacked by Google and co.

The problem is I don’t know how to stop them from sending those messages out to others – who will naturally think it’s me.

I’m saying all this here UPFRONT to help you decide if you’re comfortable having me on. There are orchestrated attempts being made to destroy my work online.

This is not the first time. I remain focussed on my goals.

And it’s even one of the reasons I relocated from Nigeria to Benin Republic.

Each time this problem has cost me tangibly (E.g. linkedIn and constant-content) I’ve written a blog post about it.

It’s the only form of defense I can think of. If after reading ALL this you’re OK with having me around, I’ll be glad to be a useful contributor to your forum – as (name of ebook) is one reason why I’m still alive and kicking despite the concerted efforts of people who want to pull me down.

Sorry about the epistle.

==End of message I submitted to online forum==

RELATED ARTICLES:

If You Can’t Find Me On LinkedIn.com Here’s Why

and

How to Unmask & Defeat Blood-Sucking Vampires!

My DN Travel News, Parenting

Actualize Your God-Given Potential By Thinking for Yourself (6 Tips for Your Child)

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Preamble

My son is celebrating his 14th birthday today (in Nigeria, while I’m here in Benin Republic) – and his uncle, my brother-in-law, is a year older as well :-)

I’m preparing to send him a special happy birthday song (MP3) I will record in French, with a couple of friends out here in Calavi, Benin Republic :-)

This article is based on a “sermon” I’ve always preached to him.

As most people in my family know, while I rarely forget anything related to my work, I readily forget even my own birthday! Sometimes it’s when someone sends a birthday wish via SMS or email that I remember :-)

Definitely nothing to be proud of. I’m working hard to change. This article is proof of it…LOL!

Now, to the message for my son…and possibly your child, if you think s/he can benefit.

Dear (insert child’s name here)

First of all, Happy Birthday to you and your Uncle!

I’m sure you’ll agree that today is an even more special day because I actually REMEMBERED it’s your birthday…Hurray!!

I’m not perfect. There are many shortcomings I need to work on in my life. This selective forgetfulness is definitely one of them.

However, despite all my weaknesses, I have ONE strength that gives me the needed edge to forge ahead in life. I have spoken to you about it a lot.

It happens to be the greatest GIFT I am capable of giving you. With it, you can more successfully manage yourself and your affairs in relation to others you meet.

I’m hoping this message helps you grasp its importance fully, so you can use it more effectively.

The GIFT? It’s YOUR Ability to Think for Yourself!

The greatest power any person can have is the power to think for him/herself. By implication, the greatest disservice you can do to yourself is to let others do your thinking for you.

I offer below, 6 tips you can follow, to actualize your potential, by thinking for yourself

1. When You Can Think for Yourself, You Will Never Be at the Mercy of Others.

This is because you will not be "needy", constantly seeking the opinions of others. To make up your mind about what you should or should not do. About what is right or not right for you. Regarding who to associate with or not. What (or who) to believe in, or not. And so on

.

You will always be in control of the choices and options you settle on. And that includes deciding who to vote for anytime there are elections at any level. Whether in your school, or elsewhere.

Even when you lack money or other material possessions, no one will be able to offer them as an enticement to get you to do what you normally would not do.

It’s the way your creator made you. That’s why he gave a you a brain that is NOT connected to other people’s brains! Yours is meant to function INDEPENDENTLY of others. Every time you use it that way for your thinking, you will get closer to actualizing the potential he put in you.

2. Thinking for Yourself Will Help You Learn More/Faster – by Discovery

Have you ever known anyone who could do (almost) nothing on his/her own? The kind who always need someone else to help them think through the tiniest decision making challenge?

Who will never be confident or comfortable enough to go ahead and take action based on his/her independent thoughts and assessment of a situation?

I have. And it can get very tiring – even when it’s a loved one. Don’t get me wrong. I’ll always be ready to answer your questions. I know there’s a lot you need to learn.

But I also want you to develop the ability to LEARN BY DISCOVERY.

This means being willing to go out and find answers to your questions by yourself. And not always believing you need to swallow what others say hook, line and sinker. That way, even when someone you ask is not forthcoming, you will always be able to discover alternative ways to get reliable answers.

You will then use those answers to add value to others – including me! – via intellectually stimulating discussion. You see, I want to learn through YOU as well, because I cannot know it all!

Every human being has – built into him or her by the creator – an inherent ability to do anything s/he thinks about.

3. Thinking for Yourself Can Inspire Others to Support (and Believe In) You

Our societal upbringing makes looking inward for solutions to your daily challenges a bad thing.

You’re told you cannot know it all. No one is an island. You can’t do it all by yourself.

Well, that’s all true.

However, at some point you have to be able to step out and take a stand on something. You cannot keep reaching out for “thinking” support like a child learning to walk.

At some point in your life you have to start applying your UNIQUE God-given intelligence to come up with your own original thoughts, ideas and solutions.

Funny enough, taking ownership of your thinking in this manner can even inspire others to support you. I say this from personal experience.

4. Don’t Make the Mistake of Discounting Other People’s Experiences

But don’t overdo it. There will come times when it will be wise to seek the input of others. The thinking you’ve done will help you better assess the potential usefulness of the ideas they offer.

What is important is that you should take ownership of the process. Don’t just take orders about what to do with your life – no matter how successful or knowledgeable the other person seems.

5. FLEE…From Anyone Who Tries To Dictate What/How You Think!

If you ever come across anyone – associate, acquaintance, partner, friend, or relative, who continually seeks to think for you, and rarely approves of what you come up with through your own thinking…watch out!

That is a sign of a manipulative individual.

Quite often the purpose is to keep you feeling inadequate, making you believe you lack the capacity to do any productive thinking on your own. That’s the biggest lie anyone can tell you about yourself. Reject it with passion!!

6. Thinking for Yourself Will Equip You to Fight Your Own Battles In Life

In conclusion, I want to remind you never to be comfortable with having others fight your battles for you like you’re an invalid. Never accept to be an observer when issues concerning your life are to be decided.

Even the physically handicapped refuse to let themselves be treated in that manner.

Do that and know that I will ALWAYS have your back.

But I will be even more proud to know that you can hold your own – anywhere – even in the face of pressure from your peers.

That you can come up with intelligent strategies to recover from setbacks you encounter; and also handle bullies, as well as members of the opposite sex.

That you have a mind of your own, and will never be afraid to use it – regardless of whose Ox is gored to death as a result!

It would give me great pleasure to see you demonstrate that ability competently.

And when you are able to do THAT, YOU should feel proud of yourself!

I love you.