Category Archives: My DN Travel News

My DN Travel News, Parenting, Self-Development

How to Tease Out Your Child’s Genius (3 Tips on how to be a “coach-parent”)

November 1, 2013 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

Most people feel proud and inspired to do more, when something they do attracts genuine praise and/or rewards from others. Children especially respond quite well to timely positive feedback. This article explains how you can make intelligent use of such feedback (as a “coach-parent”), to nurture your child’s creative instincts, in a way that increases his/her chances of success in life.

1. Never Grow Tired of Marveling at Life’s Discoveries

Some adults wrongly assume that showing surprise or excitement at the sight or sound of something new will make them look “un-cool” or unsophisticated.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

In reality, some of the world’s most creative and innovative people are reputed to view the world with child like wonder, and innocence.

They never got bored with expressing pleasant surprise, each time they made a new discovery. And that mental attitude is what fuels their desire to explore further!

That leads them to tap into creative depths of their beings, to achieve uncommon feats – and very often, they infect others around them with their attitude.

If you want to help your child as a parent, you need to adopt a similar mental attitude.

2. Your Child’s Genius Will Emerge if You Nurture It

Children who achieve early self-discovery often have adults around them who habitually cheered them on, whenever they showed what they could do.

What do you say when your 5 year old shows you something s/he’s scribbled on a cardboard?

How do you react? And that includes your body language when you’re tired, having just returned from a long, tiring day at work (?)

Do you look at it and say “That’s nice, baby!”, and let him/her go?

Or do you – for instance – take it from him/her, and then ask questions interestedly like: “Wow! Did you do all this yourself? That’s great.Can you show me how you did it? Or “Why not do more and let me see?”

I know some parents “ooh” and “aah” over stuff their kids do in their formative years.

What I’m saying here however goes beyond doing that, to actually using feedback to coach the child, right through his/her teens to young adulthood.

Subtle coaching and encouragement, injected at the right moment, can make a massive positive difference.

The words you say to a ten year old who excitedly shows you what s/he’s built (like my son showed me his “home made rechargeable lamp”) can trigger a life-long pursuit of self-discovery, and mastery.

This is not about formal school work involving spending hours with the child, to pass on “book knowledge”.

What I propose here is for the parent to provide real-world relevant “coaching” to his/her child.

A coach will typically need minutes (sometimes even seconds!) at any point in time, to help a child gain needed insights, to make progress.

It’s not how long the interaction lasts, but the QUALITY of interaction that occurs, that’s important!

A “coach-parent” will help the child acquire insights that can lead to self-discovery, growth and ultimately, mastery!

3. Anything that captures the imagination, stirs curiosity, excites (or gives pleasure to) a child can be used to coach him/her.

So, watch your child closely as often as possible.

No matter how busy you are, start doing this as early as possible in your child’s life. You’ll need to be alert to the opportunities that will appear.

Your success will depend on your ability to recognize and seize them.

Whenever you’re around him/her, and especially when you converse, watch for tell tale signs based on the guidelines outlined above. Use what you notice to guide what you say to his/her.

Your purpose will be to constantly challenge and encourage him/her to create something new, unique or original, in as many ways as possible.And as often as possible.

S/he should feel no restriction in following his/her interests or instincts in this regard.

Get him/her to focus on creating something that solves a problem or serves a useful purpose. It could be handicraft, a mechanical contraption, or an electronic device. It could be even be a drawing, or a write-up (like this short HIV Aids “awareness” story written by my 14 year old boy) .

If it’s original, and adds tangible value, let him/her see you tell others how impressed you are!

Show it off to guests and friends at every opportunity.

After a while, ask him/her if s/he’s done something new i.e. don’t let him/her rest on his/her oars.

Now, even if it’s not a mind blowing creation, praise his/her efforts, then tactfully suggest ways s/he can do better.

Over time, s/he’ll form the habit of continuous improvement, and his/her “genius” would emerge!

Final Words

This formula works, because humans love feedback delivered to them in a manner that inspires.

I’ve successfully used it with young people in their teens and early twenties.

Today, I get exciting parenting results with my kids (who are aged between 4 and 14 years old).

Become a “coach-parent“. Use the 3 tips explained above, with your kids. When they enter the real world as adults, they WILL make YOU proud!

Career Development, Entrepreneurship, My DN Travel News

How to Safely retire into Self-Employment (A True Story)

October 31, 2013 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

A client once told me how the first boss he worked for often told him:

“Look Alooya, if you work 8 hours in a day for an employer, start making effort to work one hour per day for yourself as well. Think of things you can do for yourself to earn income that will benefit you. Over time, increase the hours you work for yourself to 2, and so on. ”

[NB: Few employers will say stuff like that to their employees – especially in my part of the world. They would be scared of losing the employee, since it would make the latter aim for self-employment!]

He took the advice to heart, and it drove him all through the time he spent in paid employment – which was over 3 decades.

By the time he retired, he had learnt how to multiply money that came into his hands (e.g. salary) – generating multiple incomes streams from a variety of channels.

Just like his former boss had advised, he’d started by devoting a fraction of his time to exploring alternative ways of earning income. To avoid compromising his commitment to his employer, he focussed on passive income generation sources (one example later).

The money his part time endeavours generated was channelled into developing properties that today generate passive income from rent collections.

Whether you’re already retired or preparing to do so, it pays to know how to enter into the world outside salaried employment. It’s not as organised and predictable as the organisation you work in.

Many things can go wrong at the same time, and directly threaten income you earn.

Realising He Needed to Augment My Income

When he returned from a 4 year overseas assignment, he used the funds he’d saved to help his kids settle down in their various chosen locations.

Then he began thinking of what to do with the bulk funds that was left.

He considered getting a good car, to replace the aging had had. Many people would probably have gone for that option too.

But he had had a tough childhood, and learnt from painful experience, to find ways to make my money work for him.

So he did some more thinking.

After a while he realised the lack of water in the area he lived necessitated his leaving home almost every day to use his car to fetch water.

It occurred to him that if he bought a new car, the wear and tear would make it age fast.

What was more, he considered that at his age (then 50), carrying heavy kegs filled with water around on a daily basis, posed a danger to his physical well being. If nothing else, his hips would suffer for it.

That valid concern made him decide to sink a borehole in his compound.

He had always been one who believed in achieving lasting long term benefits from any investment he made. So when they encountered a bed of rock at 75 feet, he instructed that it be drilled right through by another 70 feet.

The result was that he ended up piping naturally pure water to the surface!

Wasting no time, he set up a manifold outside his house where people began trooping to buy his “pure” borehole water.

It was a great success.

Daily revenue rapidly grew, and at a point he was selling N7, 000.00 worth of water daily!

Doing some more thinking, he decided to use the income stream from sales of water, to further his ambition to build properties to rent out.

Today, the house where he started that water business from, hosts four (4) apartments, each of which houses tenants that pay rent to him!

In other words, he channelled the income from the water sales, combined with some of his salary, to build more properties.

Final Words

Anybody can use this same model, to prepare for self-employment.

It goes without saying, that all employees will one day have to leave their jobs, via retirement, resignation…or redundancy.

Therefore, adopting a strategy like that described above would be a smart thing to do.

General, My DN Travel News, My Ideas for Making Nigeria Better, Parenting, Self-Development

Proven Strategies for Preventing Infidelity (Hint: Why do men cheat on their wives or girl friends?)

October 30, 2013 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

On 22nd Oct. 2013, at 4.50 p.m, Edentu Oroso wrote…are men by their nature promiscuous? …Why do men cheat on their wives or girl friends?”

See original post/thread at: www.tinyurl.com/edentufbk2

This is Issue No. 2 in the series on “My Ideas for Making Nigeria Better”.

For past issue(s), click here.

[For a society to achieve full potential, certain moral & ethical values must dominate. One such is marital fidelity. Without it, society will progress little – due to poor integrity amongst adults, and kids they raise.]

Click the image below to download the PDF.

“

Entrepreneurship, My DN Travel News

Succeeding With Social Media: The Required Mind Set

October 29, 2013 Tayo Solagbade 1 Comment

Top performing sales people often succeed by painstakingly building trust in the minds of their prospects. They rarely adopt pushy sales strategies or hype. Yet, over time, those they approach loyally buy from them, and even tell others about them without being asked.

That’s why I’m a believer in letting things happen naturally. Be it in endeavours like farming (i.e. growing crops or rearing animals) or social interaction (in business or personal life).

Social media allows people to put the best of their natural selves on display. And that’s why many – like Twitter and Facebook – are popular.

However, just as with everything else in life, certain people always find a way to “corrupt” otherwise good things.

For instance, certain users of social media frequently “hard sell” themselves and/or their products to other users. Rather than aim to first establish trusting relationships, they simply launch a presence on each channel, and start making all sorts of (often hyped) sales offers.

These kinds of people make little or no effort to add value by sharing ideas and contributing to discussions.

Yet, the key to social media’s effectiveness is its ability to stimulate discussions that help draw the right target audience!

About a year ago, I had a discussion with an online acquaintance – Nhoj – on this matter. He had expressed similar sentiments to the above.

In making my contribution, I noted that I belonged to three other groups on a particular social media platform:

One for speakers, another on speaker marketing, a third on book writing.

Within days of joining the first group however, I discovered – just like he had – a massive difference in the quality of interaction amongst its members, compared to the other three.

For instance in the other 3 groups I joined, aspiring and competent experts continually shared ideas and experiences/insight in a mutually rewarding – and collaborative – atmosphere.

Very rarely was any selling (talk less of “hard selling”) done. There was so much sincerity. A win-win atmosphere.

In contrast, I found that the members of another group Nhoj referred to, relentlessly bombarded themselves with pushy sales messages, day in, day out. There was great activity (e.g. volume of posts), but very little quality interaction.

It was obvious that majority of the members of this group were “programmed” to take from others. Most of them were just there to sell something. They had no value to add to the process!

Unfortunately, people with this kind of mind set are competitive minded about the wrong things.

The truth however, is that if they want to succeed, they’ll need to adopt a more collaborative approach in their interaction with other group members.

Being willing to collaborate with others does NOT mean you’re weak or less competent.

Quite often, doing so can help you overcome limitations you’ve had while working alone.

Business persons who understand the ethical way to use social media, often appreciate the need to first of all establish a mutually beneficial (or as Nhoj put it – “symbiotic”) relationship with others, in order to make meaningful progress.

We have plenty of historical evidence that proves that it pays to follow this enlightened path.

A high profile example is that of the late Steve Jobs, who partnered with competitors like Microsoft, to take the industry to the next level (as Richard Branson, another genius of similar temperament, recently recalled in one of his syndicated articles).

No One Says You Should Not Try To Sell: Just Don’t “Hard Sell”!

Now, in case you’re reading this, and wondering, I’m not asking you to engage in some selfless altruistic gestures of helping others out, just for the sake of it.

On the contrary, I actually believe it pays to focus on making money or building revenue, through direct or indirect means, by using social media.

The point I AM making, is that a social media platform should not be abused by using it exclusively as a trading center.

In other words, a place, where people come with the singular motive of simply putting their stuff up for sale for others to buy.

On social media , the culture is more refined – with emphasis on building trusting relationships via quality interactions!

There is emphasis on first offering useful value of some sort, with a twist or spin off that could yield potentially beneficial returns, to one or more of the participants.

Most important is the willingness of all members to contribute, with honesty and integrity. And they often do this, even when they know there is a chance, that no direct benefits will accrue to them from doing so.

In essence, I am saying business persons should adopt social media, with the intention of being of – FIRST – being of service to others.

In the course of doing so, s/he will become known, recognised and appreciated for the quality of his/her contributions. And that would be one benefit!

Also in the process of serving in this manner, opportunities for showcasing what s/he offers, will present themselves (e.g. articles, reports).

As s/he continues to build credibility, “trusting” members would find it easy to “consider” his/her products/services or refer others.

Even better, some may propose joint ventures, or partnerships of sorts, with attractive benefits.

The result would be that competent business people, with win-win dispositions, would continue to discover opportunities to progress together via groups that operate as described above. Trust would be established, and this would ease the way for useful interactions to take place.

The first group referred to above, did NOT seem to have many members who understood the need to operate in this manner. That differentiated them from members of other groups. And such a shortcoming is very likely to deny many of its members, the long term benefits enjoyed by compliant groups.

Final Words

The point I’ve made in this piece applies to the use of virtually all social media (e.g. Facebook, Twitter etc) for business purposes.

My DN Travel News, My Ideas for Making Nigeria Better, Public Speaking

No. 113: A Best Practice Strategy That Solves ANY Problem

October 28, 2013 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

Success comes via learning from when things go wrong, to be able to get them right more often.

This applies to the expert-speaker who gets stopped before he can finish his “talk”, because he over-shot allotted time. Just like it does to the freelance writer, who misses agreed deadlines for submission of completed pieces. Such “failures” can lead to poor rating/reputation…and even loss of business.

When you win a buyer over, that can often just be the beginning of an unpredictable journey. Even when it’s simply to deliver an already made product, all sorts of thing can STILL go wrong.

SCROLL DOWN TO READ FULL ISSUE

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Publication: Tayo Solagbade’s Weekly Public Speaking IDEAS Page (PSIP) Newsletter

Date: Monday 28th October 2013

No:113

Title: A Best Practice Strategy That Solves ANY Problem

Author & Publisher: Tayo K. Solagbade [Tel: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic) ]

Blog URL: http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/blog

Archive (For E-mail only version started 14th May 2012): Click here to view

Archive (For Blog version started 24th September 2011): Click here

Hi,

Please find below the latest issue of my Speaking IDEAS newsletter.

I created this PowerPoint slideshow (and published it on slideshare.net), to give people with poor (or zero!) connectivity, an alternative means of “learning” about Richie Parker.

I’ll soon upload the actual Power Point file for FREE download from my website. The download link will appear in this blog post (click)once it’s up.

When you download it, PLEASE print and share it FREELY with people who may not have ready Internet access to “discover it”!

YOU KNOW EVERYONE NEEDS TO “HEAR” THIS STORY, and BE INSPIRED!!!!

No. 113: A Best Practice Strategy That Solves ANY Problem

**** **********

NB: If you ever find yourself wondering what else I’ve written, some days after you’ve read THIS Speaking Ideas newsletter I send out on a Monday, here’s what you can do to find out: Point your browser to www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/sdnuggets to read at least ONE new post added to my SD Nuggets blog on a different category from Tuesday till Saturday (sometimes even Sundays) in line with this publishing schedule

**********

Success comes via learning from when things go wrong, to be able to get them right more often.

When you win a buyer over, that can often just be the beginning of an unpredictable journey. Even when it’s simply to deliver an already made product, all sorts of thing can STILL go wrong.

Example: Unexpected Damage of an Ordered Item in Transit to the Buyer

Maybe you sell DVDs and manuals. And they probably don’t come cheap.

Imagine the delivery man accidentally dropped them in the rain – getting them wet – and ruined, on arriving at the buyer’s place. The latter would naturally not be happy.

And it’s likely s/he would call YOU!

Strictly speaking, that would not be your fault. If you’re lucky, the courier company may offer something – in addition to free delivery of a replacement. Otherwise, you’d end up being short changed.

If that happens, and you eventually survive, what would you do?

Thank God that it was not worse, and pray it never happens again?

I certainly hope that’s NOT all you do!

I once read a quote credited to someone whose name I cannot recall, that goes something like this:

“Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”

We therefore need to LEARN how to get things right as often as possible.

That’s why SOPs (Standard Operating Procedures) are important.

SOPs are based on Best Practices, which are always evolving, by incorporating latest learnings made in the process of carrying out an activity, or running a process.

**A Real-Life Example of “Formal Problem Solving” – Set By the US Military**

Back in 2000, I read a newsletter issue dated Wednesday 6th June on “Management and Strategy” (published by Zooba.com – now defunct I believe). It narrated how the American military developed a system to improve their ability –as a learning organisation – to successfully tackle various problems they faced in the field.

On reading it, I realized what they had done was simply to implement the Best Practice principles of Formal Problem Solving.

What follows below, is a paraphrased version of that true story:

Backed by a United Nations mandate in 1994, US Army troops invaded the little country of Haiti to return to the country’s legitimate government.

The first soldiers were however not prepared for the roles they ended up having to play while there.

Case 1: Soldiers Delivering Babies!

For instance, due to disrupted medical services provision, in Port-au-Prince, the soldiers discovered they would actually have to formally engage in delivering babies!

Being the soliders they were, they adapted, learned and survived the experience.

Those first teams were later tasked to develop SOPs by reviewing all that transpired during their unusual tour, for use by those who followed after them.

But they were only able to do this and get results, because an “assessment and evaluation process’ called “After Action Reviews” (AARs) had been established about 20 years previously.

It was however the Haiti experience that triggered the incorporation of AARs into use at all stages of the military’s field operations.

This made it possible to capture new learning about how to get things done, and distribute/propagate that “organisational knowledge” to all members who needed it.

In the case of the soldiers who had to adapt to delivering babies, the report they generated recommended that medical personnel dispatched received a minimum elementary training in obstetrics.

AARs can be put to successful use in any organisation.

What’s more, my personal experiences confirm individuals can also successfully adapt them for use as well – because it’s actually based on common sense!

The process involves all participants in an activity, formally coming together, post-completion, to review their experiences against the following four questions:

1. What was the objective I/we aimed to accomplish?

2. What actually took place during the event, or mission, or process?

3 Why did it occur?

4. What do I/we do next time, to make the event, mission or process end more successfully?

NB: The event or process could be giving a talk, running a seminar or workshop, delivering a product, implementing a client project as an expert etc

Case 2: Getting Civilian Cooperation Without Using “Excessive Force”…

The Zooba.com newsletter also narrated an interesting example, of how an initial failure by certain “spearhead units” in Haiti was eventually overcome.

They had orders to retrieve guns from areas on the outskirts of Port-au-Prince, where rebels were suspected to be based.

Their initial searches yielded little success – because many residents refused to give soldiers access to their homes. And the soldiers had instructions NOT to use excessive force.

Later on, during the AARs, the forward units learned the people were scared of German shepherd dogs used by the soldiers in “rear-guard action”.

That knowledge let to the deployment of dogs to the front units.

Not surprisingly, the people immediately stopped resisting the soldiers!

In other words, the AARs yielded instant feedback, from which useful NEW knowledge, about how to get better results was harvested.

The soldiers consequently achieved what Zooba.com described as “rapid and secure occupation” – with minimal casualties on both sides.

Final Words

I’ll end by repeating what I said earlier…

Just as the AARs can be used by groups and organisations, the same principles can be successfully applied by individuals too.

Need More Ideas on How to Use The Above Information?

If you need more specific details of how to make use of the ideas I’ve shared in this newsletter, send me a message using this request form – with “Re: No. 112: Change Your Environment to Succeed – If Necessary” in the subject line.

SD Nuggets Blog™	New posts from last week that may interest you! *
Public Speaking[Monday]:	No. 112: Change Your Environment to Succeed – If Necessary
Entrepreneurship [Tuesday]:	My Pineapple Peel-Based Drinks Production Project UPDATE: Pilot Scale Shelf-Life, and Variable Cost-Reduction “Trials”
Self-Development [Wednesday]:	What Video Interviews Don’t Reveal About What It Takes to Succeed
Career Development [Thursday]:	Is Your Job Straining You?
Parenting [Friday]:	Generate Ideas to Solve YOUR Country’s Problems (Hint: Time for a female president in Nigeria?)
Writing/Blogging [Saturday]:	An Eye Cannot See Itself (Hint: Are men by their nature promiscuous?)
Want me to write for you? Click here…

Have a lovely week!

Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist

*Sole Agent For Burt Dubin’s Speaker Mentoring Service In Africa

Mobile: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic)

http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com

Self-Development/Performance Enhancement Specialist – Tayo Solagbade – works as a multipreneurial freelance writer providing zero risk article and report writing support for website owners, while travelling slowly across West Africa as a Location Independent Entrepreneur.

He’s presently based in Benin Republic, where he’s preparing an English-French Language Guide, City Travel Guides, and a Commercial Rabbit Farming Guide.

In a previous life, before leaving to become self-employed, Tayo served for seven years as a high performing manager in Guinness Nigeria. He rose from Shift Brewer, to Training & Technical Development Manager, then later acted in senior management roles as Production Manager and Technical Manager.

When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Self-Development Nuggets™ blog, and Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter (which he publishes to promote Burt Dubin’s Public Speaking Mentoring service to experts working across the African continent).

For a limited time, Tayo is available to speak to your group or organization for a moderate fee. Send e-mail to tayo at tksola dot com. You can also visit www.tksola.com to learn more.

Connect with him on Twitter @tksola.com and Facebook.

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Have you been undecided about whether or not to become a paid speaker? Or have you been trying to get your speaking career off the ground with little success?

Here’s a tip: Burt Dubin works with people who want to be speakers, and with speakers who want to be masters. Click here to visit his website NOW and submit a contact form message telling him what challenges you’re facing, and how you’d like him to help you. Tell him I sent you, and you’ll get a pleasant surprise offer from him.

Comments?

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You can choose to purchase Burt’s mentoring at any of the three (3) levels listed below:

1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Burt’s three mentoring packages can be likened to the seating options offered by airlines: Budget Delight (Economy); Mid Range (Business); and Top Shelf (First Class).

At least that’s how I like to think of them!

All three will get you to your desired destination of “speaking success-ville” – so long as you meet the requirements/play your part well (your fare, abide by the set guidelines etc). During the “flight”, the seat you have will determine how much personal service attention and preference the provider will accord you. It’s that simple

So, make your choice:1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

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General, My DN Travel News, My Ideas for Making Nigeria Better, Parenting, Self-Development, Writing/Blogging

An Eye Cannot See Itself (Hint: Are men by their nature promiscuous?)

October 26, 2013 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

“An eye cannot see itself. That’s why it’s best to look in the mirror often!” – Tayo K. Solagbade

I always try to look in the “mirror” – literally and figuratively speaking – as often as possible.

By this I mean FREQUENTLY doing a hard and honest self-evaluation.

It helps me identify areas I need to “make a change” for the better (to paraphrase Michael Jackson, from his “Man in the mirror” lyrics).

Sometimes life’s storms (or pleasures!) cause us to forget why we are here. If you’ve discovered your Magnificent Obsession, you’ll understand what I mean. If you’re yet to do that (i.e discover your magnificent obsession), read this article for ideas you can use.

In your freelance writing – or any other vocation you’re engaged in – it’s important you stay true to your purpose, and core values. The things you hold important, and which define you.

People who succeed in life are often those who stay true to themselves.

They typically refuse to betray their consciences in order to gratify selfish desires. They never let themselves forget why they do what they do. And they always strive to put their best efforts into every endeavour they are privileged to partake in.

Simply put, they want to be (as Zig Ziglar put it) “meaningful specifics”, and to make useful impact.

Nothing, in my opinion, beats standing for something worthwhile in life.

It’s about having HONOUR!

But sadly, in today’s world, honour seems to mean increasingly little to most people. The desire for easy advancement has seduced people into forgetting that integrity is worth preserving.

That’s why we keep hearing disappointing news about people we thought were great achievers. They are getting found out for being frauds.

People we have previously celebrated for achieving legendary sporting feats are being asked to return the medals given them. They’re being stripped of titles awarded them. Not because they did something wrong elsewhere, but because it was discovered that they “cheated” to win the medals!

Some even denied for years – boldly too! – till undeniable proof finally emerged.

But Why Do People Feel a Need to Cut Corners So Much?

I’ve written about this in the past. I’m writing about it again, because the trend persists…even grows!

At work, in school, and even in personal relationships. More people seem to find it hard to stay true to themselves. And to those that place trust in them. From bosses, to clients, friends, and spouses!

So many seem so keen to engage in naughty, soon as they think no one will find out!

And it seems not to matter that they’ve heard about another person getting caught. Indeed sometimes, like Edentu Oroso, a friend, noted, that “sweet taboo” is what really drives some into naughty acts!

In other words, they get a psychological high from being able to do it without getting caught!

What About those Who Cut Corners In Marriage?

The environment in the home, shapes behaviours and habits members develop.

Building homes is therefore key to raising people who value honour and integrity.

If a father and mother lie habitually, their kids may likely grow up seeing lying as normal.

And when it comes to infidelity, the same rule applies!

Lots of people know this. Yet it continues to happen. Sometimes to the most unlikely people too e.g. smart, intelligent, (supposedly) God-fearing!

Edentu Oroso recently started an online discussion on this. And it provoked interesting contributions. He asked “Are men by their nature promiscuous? Why do men cheat on their wives or girl friends?”

At a point, I decide to jump in and offer my opinions. As usual, I ended up writing one of my LONG epistles!

I recently decided to “archive” my ideas on issues to help resolve problems in society in PDF format. My maiden PDF (No. 1.0) was titled Generate Ideas to Solve YOUR Country’s Problems (Hint: Time for a female president in Nigeria?).

The thoughts I expressed on how to prevent marital infidelity, will soon be in PDF format. Once it’s ready, I’ll link to it HERE, and also send to my mailing list.

The Right Mental Attitude Can Help Spouses Stay Faithful!

In the PDF, I advocate a mental attitude for adoption. 14 years of successfully using it (despite storms!) in MY marriage, convince me spouses who do so will effortlessly remain faithful to one another.

Psychologically healthier home environments will result. And they will turn out their kids as “better” human beings into society!

Final Words: Look In the Mirror, and Change Your Ways Where Necessary!

Form the habit of looking in the “mirror” of your life DAILY.

Whenever you do, carefully ask yourself what you see.

A cheating husband or wife? A phony friend, or dishonest business partner? An exploitative client?

Or do you see an uncommitted freelance writing service provider…who rarely meets agreed deadlines?!

If what you see in the “mirror” is GOOD, then keep doing what you’re doing.

But if it’s not, then – as Michael Jackson sang…MAKE THAT CHANGE…today!

General, My DN Travel News, My Ideas for Making Nigeria Better, Parenting, Self-Development

Generate Ideas to Solve YOUR Country’s Problems (Hint: Time for a female president in Nigeria?)

October 25, 2013 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

Quick Take-Away: Come up with practical, ready-to-use ideas to help make YOUR country better. I practice what I preach – so this post announces the maiden issue of a PDF series I’ve decided to periodically publish, regarding making MY country of origin better.

I am passionate about influencing positive change in Nigeria.

And I have lots of practical ideas I believe can help transform her. That’s why I often write what some have called “epistles” in most online discussions.

But I recently realized that adding such voluminous content (sometimes 2000 words long!) to another person’s thread can be impolite.

Plus, Facebook makes it difficult to track, archive and retrieve ideas people post, for future reference. Much of it is buried under latest “status” updates!

And I even worry:

“What if Facebook shuts down, or loses all its data?

The above made me decide to put most of my serious musings in PDF form.

This way I can now simply post much shorter comments, and invite interested persons to simply click on a direct download link to read more of my thoughts in a more detailed PDF version if they wish.

I’m starting this maiden issue with the post made by my friend Abel Segun Folaranmi on Facebook on 22nd October 2013, at 4.50 p.m.

He wrote: “Time to have a female president and vice-president in Nigeria.”

Click here to download and read the full PDF…

NB: I’ve created a new category on this blog called “My Ideas for Making Nigeria Better”.

Under it, will appear my detailed musings, on various themes I discuss with others, in PDF form, with direct download links.

Information published in this new category will always be linked to the parenting articles category on this blog.

This is because virtually all the ideas I have, require Nigerian adults to “better parent” their kids, so as to BUILD up a new generation, based on the new ideas being advocated.

If you’re a Nigerian, I hope you find this series useful.

If you’re not, I suggest you challenge yourself, to become more ACTIVE in coming up with useful solutions to move YOUR country forward.

It’s never really wise to leave it all to the guys in government.

Even when they’re willing to do all the right things, they can often do with a little helping hand.

In each of our own indivudual and group corners we can act as CATALYSTS, to bring about positive change, faster and more effectively!

Career Development, My DN Travel News, Self-Development

Is Your Job Straining You?

October 24, 2013 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

Quick Tip: This article ends with a download link to the MS Excel template for my 10 item Employee Morale Guage Quiz, which you can customize for your use.

People who don’t love their jobs are likely to feel this way (i.e strained) more often. But I’ve also met others who love their jobs, but are being worn out by the work load.

If You’re Not Sure, Here Are a Few Symptoms That Could Suggest You Have This Problem

[NB: By the way, if you’ve been reading my blog a while, you likely already know it’s in your best interest to do work that you love – be it as an employee, or as entrepreneur. Life’s simply too short to live any other way.]

1. You’re Unable to Finish Tasks – They Keep Coming!

Do you feel that way? Like just as you breathe a sigh of relief that you’ve cleared outstanding tasks, new ones seem to arrive?

Maybe the requests come from your boss, your partner etc.

If that’s happening to you, then you’ll feel the strain…and the drain…mentally, as well as physically.

2. You Feel a Need to Escape

Even when you’re officially on break, do some people find something to bring your attention to?

If your phone’s not ringing, an email with an urgent headline beckons to you. And of course your office door. It never seems to stay shut!

Just when one person leaves and you try to get back to that paper/memo/brief you’re trying to finish, another person breezes in.

Even during your break time…it’s the same thing

Your loving wife thoughtfully packs your meals for you to eat in the office. But you’ve found it a smarter move to go away – far from the office – to do that.

But you eventually return. And as you approach the office, that – now familiar – feeling of dread washes over you. “Argh…here we go again!” you say to yourself.

Again…if that’s happening to you, then you’ll feel the strain…and the drain…mentally, as well as physically.

3. Sometimes You’re Unable to Find Leisure Hours – Even on Weekends

Leisure is so important to the well being of every human being.

Yet, when you’re free to do what you want with your time (i.e. after close of work hours) not much seems to change!

It’s either you find yourself staying back late into the night, or taking work home. Some people do this right through the weekend!

4. You Need to Take “Something” to Keep You Going

When 1 to 3 happen to you often, you’re bound to get to the limit of your natural ability to cope.

Some people start taking a” little something” to keep mind (and head) clear enough to continue.

Thick, black coffee, plus a few nice vitamin pills, and some others…

Just a little help to enable them cope with the pressure.

Not everyone gets that close to the edge…but some do.

The worst part is that most people rarely see themselves going through these phases. Indeed many talk about it, but rarely stop to wonder if they can have it better.

My argument is that YOU CAN have it better.

You don’t have to strain and drain yourself so much to earn a living.

You don’t have to go to work and emerge looking “worn out” 90% of the time…shaking your head, complaining about how hard it is to keep up at work.

If it’s that bad, something is likely NOT RIGHT!

What You Can Do

This kind of situation can make you dread coming to work – even if it’s a job you love.

And it’s suggestive of ONE major problem:

A poor organisation of the way work is done in your establishment. It’s either too few people are being asked to do too much work. Or certain trivial tasks are being put on the plate of people who already have plenty assigned to them…like you.

Either way, YOU need to speak up – to your boss, your partner or whoever else is in charge.

Demand a review of the way the workload is currently assigned. Also suggest a careful analysis of the need for tasks you identify can be passed to lower ranked or less busy persons.

Take action to free yourself up from excess tasks that ultimately limit your productivity, while killing your job enjoyment.

Fail to do this, and you could end up with a serious health issue – which, ironically, could even lead to a job loss!

Here’s Why You Should Take My Advice

I’ve been a multipreneur for over 2 decades.

In 24 hours, I get more work done that most people do in 1 week.

For instance, I’ve been writing at least ONE new article (500 to 2000 words average) every day – sometimes Sundays too – on this blog since 1st October 2013.

Many times I write them ahead – and simply schedule them to auto-publish on a future date.

Apart from that, I write for clients, and also develop custom spreadsheet software for clients in different industries.

I also provide support services – training users and/or client staff. This sometimes requires visiting client premises to conduct training.

And I do lots more – in my spare time e.g. writing information products; creating language guides, travel guides, giving talks, even researching and developing my own natural range of drinks, using Pineapple peels.

Yet I have NEVER needed to take ANY “little something” to keep going.

Not coffee. Not vitamins. No pills of any sort.

All I do is some smart physical exercising on a VERY regular basis. I also eat VERY well, and drink lots of water.

Plus (and this is important), I listen attentively to my body.

When it says “You NEED to rest”, I listen to it!!

Regarding my work, I apply ruthless focus in deciding tasks to give my serious attention. Everything else is weeded out, without sentiment.

I was like that as a high performing employee, and I’ve been that way for over 10 years now, as a multiprenerial business owner.

That’s why when you come across me – you’re very unlikely to see me looking drained, or worn out.

And you certainly will NOT find me complaining about work overload!

Read my bio below (and my resume here), to get a feel for the range of activities I’ve been – and am currently – engaged in, for some proof that back up my claims.

Follow my advice, and you WILL still be productive without wearing yourself.

AND…you will still reap daily enjoyment from doing your work. Like I do!

Are Your Employees Happy & Satisfied With Their Jobs?(A Ten Item Quiz That Can Help You Find Out)

Career Development, Entrepreneurship, Farm Biz, General, My DN Travel News, Parenting, Public Speaking, Self-Development, Writing/Blogging

What Video Interviews Don’t Reveal About What It Takes to Succeed

October 23, 2013 Tayo Solagbade 2 Comments

I have a deep passion for analyzing success stories, and extracting useful learning points from them. My most recent obsession has been ESPN’s video about how a guy, born without arms, rose to world class success as a vehicle engineer.

The video however lasts only 7 – short – minutes.

**But It Actually Took That Guy 22 LONG Years to “Make It” That Far**

That’s how long Richie Parker, and his wonderful parents, worked hard to get where they are today.

And I dare say that those must have been very lonely years too.

T-w-e-n-t-y T-w-o LONG years.

The video makers could naturally not capture full details of what really transpired during those 2 decades.

Yet, for those who wants to know how the Parkers really did it…THAT LONG PERIOD IS what we need to examine!

See screenshot below – which I took from the video.

Above: My kid would have used her hands to caress the dog. Richie, as a little child, had to settle for using his legs!

The video does not say it. But this guy had to contend –right from the day he was born – with the reality of what should have been a crippling disability.

Most people don’t want to endure LONG – and sometimes LONELY – periods of hard work to succeed.

Oh…they love to hear stories of those who did it, and will heartily applaud, even idolize them. But they’d rather NOT have to go the same route to their success!

Which is why quick and easy “formulas” for success sell so well in our world!

Unfortunately, success that is had “quickly and easily”, often departs just as “quickly and easily”

Richie’s kind is however an excellent example of authentic success – the one that lasts, and is reproducible.

But whoever wants it, MUST be willing to pay the price of working hard, and long…most times at least.

Other Victories Richie Has Won DAILY (for Decades), Which the Video Did Not Show Us

It’s possible most people have NOT considered it. But there are other realities Richie has successfully dealt with for 30 long years.

Get this: The ESPN video does NOT tell us, how Richie Parker ALSO successfully does these UN-AVOIDABLE tasks – daily – without arms…

1. Brushing his teeth…applying toothpaste takes two hands for most of us…how does he do his?

2. Taking his bath…how does he turn the tap or shower on…and off?

3. Putting on his shirts, trousers, shoes etc…every day…?

4. Unbuttoning or taking off his trousers to use the toilet…?

I could go on, but so can you. Just think how he does ALL the stuff YOU do without even thinking about it.

For him, it must take him great effort to do each of those things.

And yet, he still does them (otherwise he would not be where he is today).

And in addition to doing them, he does his work just as well as others who HAVE arms, in a field as demanding as vehicle engineering.

Watch the Video and Listen to Richie speak. He is so self-assured!

Listening to Richie Parker, one is left in no doubt that he is supremely aware of his capabilities.

Yet, I’ve lost count of many able bodied persons I’ve ment who are insecure about themselves!

Why is this so?

It’s partly – often mostly – the result of how they were brought up by their parents.

What Mr. and Mrs. Parker did for Richie is what all parents should do for their kids from DAY 1 – to paraphrase Richie.

Make your kids develop and independent and confident mindset.

Let them know they can go through life not .looking to continually lean on, or need others to do stuff for them!

But We Must Not Fail to Give Rex Stump Credit for Making Richie’s Success Story Happen

You see Rex was smart enough to LOOK BEYOND Richie’s (seeming) disability, to see the potential he had, to ADD VALUE to Hendrick.

That’s the way a competent decision maker acts. S/he will always take decisions in the best interests of the organisation, and those he manages!

No room for bias or discrimination here.

Richie’s parents are, to me, the greatest heroes ever!

They coached him to believe in himself and achieve. And they painstakingly documented EVERY way he overcame his disabilities to do just that.

I happen to LIVE for my kids – and I mean that literally.

And when I see other people’s kids, I FEEL towards them, what I feel for mine: a strong desire to help them BE THE BEST THEY CAN BE…and to refuse to live below one’s full potential.

And Richie’s life, to me, presents us all a massive challenge to DO MORE With Our God-given Potential!

And I’ve chosen to respond to that challenge, by LEARNING from his story, and telling others to do the same.

For myself, my kids, and any others who may be interested, I’ve created a FREE, Printable Power Point Slideshow(see cover below).

In particular, I have considered many in my part of the world, whose circumstances probably make it impossible, or difficult to use the web.

They may never see the video unless someone takes an offline version to them. I plan to do what I can with the offline version I’ve recorded.

But I believe printing out, and sharing this Power Point version I’ve created, will go an even longer way.

Even those of us who’ve watched the video will find it useful to read through the transcript version.

I published it on Slideshare.net since last Saturday 19th Octover 2013 – click here to view it.

The download link appears in this blog post (click here).

Download, print out, and share it FREELY with people OFF the web, who may probably never “encounter” this story otherwise!

EVERYONE NEEDS TO “HEAR” THIS STORY, and BE INSPIRED!!!!

Entrepreneurship, Farm Biz, General, My DN Travel News

My Pineapple Peel-Based Drinks Production Project UPDATE: Pilot Scale Shelf-Life, and Variable Cost-Reduction “Trials”

October 22, 2013 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

This is an update on progress with my Pineapple Peels based drinks production project. I’ll also be posting an update on my Quick and Dirty Guide to English/French soon.

[NB: That next post will include details of how I’ve now partnered with a 2-man Beninois team of language experts to produce chapters 2 to 10 of my guide. These guys run an English language for French speakers “practice” club supported by the high commissioner for a small but respected African country. EXCITING stuff I tell you!]

As for my Pineapple peel based drinks, I’m now done with initial shelf-life trials.

Plus, in the process of exploring ways to cut down production costs, (to offer a range of “flavours” that appeal to different “pockets”), I’ve had a breakthrough of sorts.

You see, normally I have to “cook” (for 15 to 30 minutes) the pineapple peel mixture to get the finished drink I’ve been carrying around (i.e. non-fermented).

For the fermented version, I would post-boil have to wait 48 to 72 hours to let it ferment out, before that version would be ready.

In both cases, I then have to use “home-made drinks” production techniques to “pasteurize” it in “glass bottles”. All of these have cost implications – as plastic bottles simply lose shape when exposed to 60 degrees Celsius of heat.

By implication, what I’ve been carrying around have been partially pasteurized drinks in the real sense.

What I need to offer are versions that people can choose to take away and store for a month or more, without fear of spoilage.

Of course the version to be offered in my brew-pub will be drunk right away on the serving tables.

But people are bound to want to take some away. And I don’t want to be guilty of giving people bottled products that explode in their hands or homes – due to gas from “hidden fermentation”…LOL.

That’s why I’ve been careful to explore ways to kill off residual microbial activity.

The thing is standard procedures are expensive. I’m therefore looking to leverage more nature friendly methods.

You don’t hurry when it comes to food and drinks production i.e. things people will consume.

One mistake with your product, and your reputation may never be reparable. I know this from my training – and experience – in Guinness. And from courses I took for the UK’s Institute and Guild of Brewing (IGB) exams.

Well, in the course of “experimenting”, I actually found a way to get the fermented version ready-to-drink WITHOUT needing to “cook” the starting mixture.

That means I effectively get to cut out the costs of “heating” – which can add up over time, as you know.

To be fair, this option was always there, but I just never felt it was safe enough.

The new technique also allows fermentation to end naturally – killing the yeasts. Again, this implies major savings.

But I’m STILL keen to add an extra layer of “safety”, by adding an antibacterial agent, preferably a natural one, as against chemical kinds which are more common.

Currently reviewing options there…

As for sales, I’ve settled on starting with a home-based brew-pub (brewery-pub).

I actually intended to have a turn-key micro-brewery with 5hl capacity setup. My checks online with guys who install such “mobile” breweries show (not surprisingly), that it’s not cheap to do.

But I’m going to do it.

I have a strategy to start small, and then use my success to “sell” the idea to “partners” to finance the scale up.

That’s why I’ve been shopping for a bigger place to move into, where I can get a local artisan to construct the vessels and other materials I need.

I already have my process flow diagram, and I know exactly how to make the place run with minimal manpower. Since it will basically be in my backyard, and linked to a “pub” type of bar in front (where people will eat snacks with the drink), I’m sure it will work.

I’ve also found a way to link all of that with my work on developing solutions for farmers.

There’ll be more on that soon.

One thing is certain. Before the end of this year, I WILL have six pack versions of my fermented pineapple peel based drinks available for on-demand purchase.

For starters, here in Benin Republic. And there WILL be a “pub” where people can come to eat snacks with the non-fermented, and fermented versions.

And get this: My Quick and Dirty Guide autorun CD/DVD based learning events will hold at the pub – on set dates.

People will be able to participate in “practical speaking” sessions, and also compete to win copies of the complete 10 chapter audio-visual and Excel-VB based version.

So, watch this space for pictures and full details.

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