The founder of the NGO featured in the news report previewed/linked below, reveals an interesting trend in which (to use her own words) “scores of married men” have visited her office to complain about domestic violence inflicted on them by their wives – AFTER she led a placard carrying awareness campaign at “Federal High Court, Jabi, in Abuja” on the problem.
Group laments increase in violence against men
An NGO, Girls and Youth Re-integration Network (GYRIN), has expressed concern over rising cases of domestic violence against men in the country.
The founder of the NGO, Miss Kehinde Awojola, said that GYRIN has received alarming reports from men after it launched its campaign on “No To Violence Against Men”.
Below, I share a linked preview to yet another publication from the Nigerian social space, that draws attention to the hidden scourge of Domestic Violence Against Men (DVAM) that continues to be generally ignored by key authorities and stakeholders.
As usual, a the bottom of the post, I append a link to my Facebook sdvocacy page titled “Domestic Violence Against Men (DVAM) – Ideas for Identifying and Stopping It”.
EXTRA REPORT: Husband Battering, A New Face of Domestic Violence
By The Nigerian Expression on May 14, 2018
By Supo Balogun, The Nigerian Expression
In contrast to the often stereotyped narrative which regularly painted women as the unhappy underdog in many homes, the Lagos State Domestic Violence and Sexual Violence Response Team (DVSRT) recently published a total of 138 men as suffering from domestic violence between May 2016 and April 2017.
Perhaps, one should yield to the women: If they have been subjected to domestic violence for so long, it may not be out of place if men too have a slight carriage of that burden women have carrying for many decades.
Such abuse includes slapping, hitting, kicking or forced sex as well as non-physical abuse like insults, threats, chronic disparaging remarks and controlling behaviours.
The latest figure, although relatively small when compared with the statistics of abuse against women and children, however, offers a new perspective to the growing incidence of domestic violence to which Kazeem had alluded in a 2017 report which indicated that 55 men were battered by their wives in 2016.
[UPDATE – Friday 22nd January 2021] It DISAPPEARED! The web page I linked which had the above titled now read “Page Not Found”! For some reason the write-up has been removed. I intend to contact the website publishers and/or the article’s author to find out why. However, for those curious about what the contents were…see below a screenshot version I kept just in case this happened (hehehe) – the page was then dated Saturday, March 3, 2018!
Preview: Prior to the enactment of the provisions of the Violence Against Persons (Prohibition) Act, 2015-herein after referred to as VAPA, applicable in Abuja, there were several reports of violence against women by men either as parents or husband or brother or in-law. So, those criminal laws that were in existence as at that time were majorly favourable to the women in respect of domestic violence. As time goes on, the reverse started becoming the case. Perhaps, those developments might have given rise to the enactment of the VAPA which generalizes persons who can be criminally liable for their suspected criminal action(s) under the Act to the effect that both male and female can now be charged with any contravention with any of the provisions of VAPA. Continue reading on https://thenigerialawyer.com
This Punch Newspaper report (previewed/linked below), is one of only a handful of instances in which the serious – but largely ignored – problem of Domestic Violence Against Men (DVAM) is acknowledged, and discussed, by competent expert authorities
I will continue to take action to create awareness both on the web (via this blog as well as my Facebook Page) and off the web, using flyers, my newsletter and talks I give to audiences that invite me – about the need for concerted efforts to be made to protect the rights of men, against abuse by their intimate female partners in the Nigerian social space.
As the Punch report notes, too many of them are suffering in silence. I strongly believe THAT has potentially dangerous consequences for society!
(Apart from infidelity, other)…reasons why men have been at the receiving ends of domestic violence in recent times (have been given as) the increasingly popular fad of female chauvinism, poverty, declining value of the extended family system and reluctance of the male victims to speak out due to associated stigma.
Respondents, among who were clinical psychologists, sociologists, rights activists and clerics, told the News Agency of Nigeria in separate interviews that concerted action must be taken to stem the menace.
A psychologist, Mr. Segun Adeoye, said the rising cases of domestic violence could be attributed to “the culture of silence among victims.”
“The reason why most people believe that men are not abused is because they hardly speak out like women do.
“This boils down to the societal belief that men should be stronger and cannot be victims of such, but it happens.
The issues highlighted in Australian Brisbane Time’s newspaper report previewed/linked below, occur in many societies across the world. Men who are genuinely suffering in abusive relationships, with their female partners as the constant aggressor, in most cases simply have nowhere to go, no one to turn to, for help.
It’s been that way for so long, and the damage (psychological trauma, physical injuries etc) to those men is often great – physically, as well as psychologically/emotionally.
I continue to push this Domestic Violence Against Men (DVAM) cause using my blog [http://tayosolagbade.com/sdnuggets – click DVAM] in conjunction with my Facebook advocacy page [https://web.facebook.com/stopdvambytks/] to provide information, education and support to those men who lack it, and would therefore find it useful.
I also do this because I want to help MY OWN SONS who I worry may in future become victims of abuse at the hands of some naughty females, should this trend not be stopped.
You, reading this, are also likely to have someone you know and/or care for, who is male.
I doubt you would want him/her to become a victim of abuse at the hands of an abusive female partner – talk less of watching him suffer due to lack of reliable support to deal decisively with the problem.
====================================================
Story of domestic violence against men is hidden, complicated and disputed – by By Cathy Moore on
Thomas Parker, 21, sits in an empty room staring into his glass of whiskey and coke with two black eyes. He says he’s a happy person but the tears welling in his eyes tell a different story.
“Well I used to be a happy person. I couldn’t find one person that would call me angry or depressed,” he says. “But the domestic violence, the stuff she has done to me, it’s fucked with my head.”
Parker swallows his tears along with his last half of whiskey and coke. Another male victim of domestic violence whose story has gone untold.
In this post I share a download link to the transcript slideshow I’ve prepared of a VIRAL VIDEO that has been watched over 1million times!
It’s message is VERY relevant to the current times.
The Nigerian woman who authored it (judging from her looks) belongs to the age group of women she addresses. And she pulls no punches in telling those of them guilty of bad habits she describes, in relating with their male partners, why they are wrong, and what they need to do to change for the better.
I strongly recommend that EVERY woman watch this video, and also that EVERY parent make his/her children watch it, so they can LEARN what kind of behavior to emulate.
In creating my transcript slideshow version of it, I decided to give it a TITLE and SUBTITLE, as follows:
Title = What It Really Means to Be a ‘Strong Woman’
Subtitle = Nigerian Woman Delivers Hard Hitting Message to Peers About Relationships
Here’s an excerpt:
“A strong woman is that woman that is matured – spiritually, physically and emotionally. You should be able to manage your emotions. Control them – not them controlling you. Men can say a whole lot of things that can get us aggravated. Yes, it’s normal. We can say that too.”
This is a FREE VIDEO Based Transcript Slideshow created for my advocacy Facebook page titled “page [Domestic Violence Against Men (DVAM) – Ideas for Identifying and Stopping It]” at http://www.facebook.com/stopdvambytks
PS: Would you like to receive the Power Point Slideshow directly in your email?
==Excerpt starts===
“Today I wanted to offer a lesson on how to castrate a man. Em, you may wonder, why would you wanna do that? Well, probably the primary reason would be to get him out of your life, because that is the best way to get rid of a man.” – Kara Oh
==Excerpt Ends===
Click the link below to download and view my Verbatim Performance Improvement Video Text Transcript Slideshow version of the wonderfully insightful video message by Kara Oh.
It’s aptly titled “How Women Destroy Love.”
She really GOT IT RIGHT with the explanation she gives about the 3 ways women unintentionally destroy their own relationships by the way they TALK (i.e the – needlessly hurtful – things they, sometimes, SAY) to their male intimate partners.
Regardless of what part of the world you’re in, even if you are from my part of the world (Nigeria/Africa), THIS lady’s advice WILL WORK FOR YOU, if you are a woman wondering why your “man” just refuses to act towards you, like you want him to.
It could be that you are doing one or more of these NAUGHTY things that Kara Oh discusses.
[NB: Kara is a US based National Relationship Expert who has been featured, on the major news networks – such as ABC News, CBS News, FOX News, NBC.com etc]
This is a FREE VIDEO Based Transcript Slideshow created for my advocacy Facebook page titled “page [Domestic Violence Against Men (DVAM) – Ideas for Identifying and Stopping It]” at http://www.facebook.com/stopdvambytks
PS: Would you like to receive the Power Point Slideshow directly in your email?
So you don’t have to view at your own convenience?
Mark Judge of acculturated dot com discusses ways in which (some) women routinely subject their men to emotional abuse in both private and public. He notes that this habit, in the long run can (and sometimes does) make the men turn around to become abusers themselves!
Women Who Emotionally Abuse Men
We’ve all seen it. And heard it. You’re in a restaurant. There’s a man there with his girlfriend. As people are eating and socializing, you can’t help but notice. When the man tries to speak, he is cut off by his girlfriend. She mocks him when he tells a story that might make him look good, and finishes his jokes for him. When the waiter brings the menus, she makes fun of his selection.
Expert author, Carin Goldstein MFT of YourTango dot com discusses 3 ways in which a woman can – unintentionally – use nagging to destroy her marriage.
[DVAM] The 3 Types Of Nagging That DESTROY Your Marriage
If nothing or no one is ever good enough for you, consider the common denominator.
“You actually call this making the bed?! This is ridiculous. You need to do it the way I do it.”
“Will you turn the TV off already and help me get these wet, naked children out of the bath?!”
“Thanks for not giving me a kiss goodbye this morning… You know, it would be nice if you thought about me before leaving!”
Do any of the above comments sound familiar? Perhaps the above are something you are nagging your husband with on a daily basis? Are you feeling like a broken record as you continue to repeat yourself while he continues to quietly dismiss the sound (dare I say “the noise”?) of your nagging — only to leave you feeling more dismissed by than ever? If the answer is yes, then allow me to remind you this: It takes two to tango. That being said, part one of the issue is, yes, he’s either not doing things the same way as you or not listening to you.
In the article previewed/linked below (based on my Facebook page’s theme of Domestic Violence Against Men – DVAM), Deborah Demander of pairedlife dot com shares 10 powerful insights about how (some) women inadvertently destroy their marriages with their own hands.
Top 10 Things Women Do To Destroy Their Marriage
Wives bear as much responsibility as husbands. We have the power to make a home, or break it.
How we hurt our husbands
Creating a hostile environment can make everyone uncomfortable and destroy your marriage.
While both husband and wife should take responsibility for their part in a marriage, below are ten mistakes common to women, which can completely destroy a marriage. When women exercise the following behaviors, it can create a hostile environment, where no one feels safe or comfortable.
…a multi-disciplinary blog for people passionate about reaching their goals!
Warning: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable in /home1/tayoswdg/public_html/sdnuggets/wp-includes/class-wp-comment-query.php on line 399
