Monthly Archives: May 2013

My DN Travel News, Parenting

Should You Worry If Your Child NEVER Gets In Trouble? (4 Tips)

Leave a comment

What I propose in this piece is likely to be a bit controversial. But you probably already know I have no problems voicing my opinion :-)

Read this article with an open mind and you will see the point I’m making.

I’ve explained in past articles that intelligent mistake making is an effective way to learn. It is also my experience based opinion, that the best time to learn is when your failures result in minimal damage.

And one such period is during childhood.

1. Succeeding In the Real World Requires Strength of Character

My failures (and they are MANY!!) as an entrepreneur, convince me I’m right about this.

These devastating failures came despite the fact that I’d excelled academically right through university…and also enjoyed rapid career advancement for 7 years as a well paid, high performing manager in a large multinational.

But one thing saved me during those periods of severe trials and tribulations.

It was the mental toughness/character I formed in my teens.

Without it, this daily Self-Development Nuggets blog or my weekly speaking IDEAS newsletter would not exist. Neither would my books, custom Excel-VB spreadsheet software, Web Marketing Systems development service, YouTube educational/demonstration videos, or Cost-Saving Farm Business Support Service.

My point is: I’m just one guy. But for over 2 decades, people have asked me how I manage to do many different things so well – and at the same time – with seemingly endless passion.

If truth be told, it has to do with a decision I took early in life, due to a crisis I suffered (See 2. below).

And that is why I’m convinced getting in trouble early in life can be VERY useful preparation, for succeeding – in spite of adversity – in adult life.

2. How Getting In Trouble Helped Me Develop Strength of Character (True Story)

I started getting into trouble very early – before I clocked 10 years e.g by stealing money from my mother’s purse, and pieces of meat from her pot. I eventually got caught and punished.

At the age of 10, in my first secondary school year, I stupidly let four older classmates copy my answer scripts (and they did so verbatim!) in the promotional exams. We got caught and asked to repeat the year.

My parents moved me to boarding school, in another state (six hours away), to start over.

I did well right into my final year – and even got appointed Health Prefect.

Then I got into trouble again….and was suspended for 2 weeks!

I (along with another prefect, and others) skipped classes. Then we caught, roasted and ate bush rats (and even chickens reared by teaching staff – including the principal’s) – in the dormitory!

We got suspended just a few months to the final certification exams.

Thankfully, I passed the exams, due in no small way to a threat by my Dad. He basically said that was the only way I could get his forgiveness.

Facing the consequences of my actions forced me to toughen up mentally.

Knowing others are whispering about what you’ve done can be painful. I loathed myself!

While serving my 2 week suspension, I resolved never to let myself feel that way again. That decision has since helped me overcome many great temptations in my adult life (no exaggeration).

3. A Child Who Never Gets In Trouble: Is That a Good or Bad Thing?

Real character is formed – and tested – through exposure to challenges.

It may be hard to accept, but getting in trouble is one of the most effective ways for kids to learn what not to do. And as long as they are repentant, kids who get into trouble often turn out okay.

Many even tend to mature into better rounded adults, than those who don’t get into trouble.

If you think back to your own childhood, you may probably recall it was the same for you.

A child who gets into trouble, give us an opportunity to peek into his/her true tendencies.

As a parent (and I always tell my kids this), I prefer a child who periodically gets into trouble, to one who never does.

Sounds crazy I know, but it’s not.

Reflecting on my personal experiences and studying others makes me believe this.

A child who NEVER gives problems can be a time-bomb waiting to explode in adulthood.

I’m not saying a child who does not get into trouble will end up badly. No. But s/he may end up lacking the capacity – and competence – to deal with adversity in adulthood.

It is also my considered opinion, that the parent of a child who does get into trouble, if attentive, can gain useful insights into what the child will or will not do.

And that can be useful.

4. How You React As a Parent Is Very Important

Smart parents will use the opportunity to mould their child’s evolving character.

That’s what my parents did for me, with the feedback they gave me each time I went wrong.

And that’s why I’m already doing the same thing for my kids – starting with my 14 year old son.

Do the same for your kids. Avoid excessively rebuking (or worse, condemning) them.

If you check properly, it’s likely that some people in living history have done similar (or worse) things, and still gone on to noteworthy achievements in life.

So, when your child gets into trouble, aim to help him/her do the same.

At the end of the day, that’s really what life is all about.

Career Development, My DN Travel News

Voicing YOUR Opinion Can Make You More Successful: Stop Holding Back!

Leave a comment

Being a Silent Workhorse May Not Always Work Well

You don’t have to be introverted to be guilty of making this mistake. Many extroverted personalities also find it hard to make their true opinions known. We rarely want to rock the boat. But that attitude may quietly backfire against your ambitions. E.g. by denying you reward and recognition you desire – and probably deserve.

It can be good to be a diligent – but silent – work horse. Your boss and/or team members will likely appreciate you. However, sometimes employers also want employees to stand out and think/act differently, especially if it can result in benefits to the company.

NB: This article is written with a focus on career development. The ideas shared in it can however be successfully applied by non-employees, who may find themselves in social groups, clubs or associations.

Two Possible Areas You Can Voice Your Opinion to Make Useful Impact

1. Mode of Dressing In The Company

Every time I’ve seen a photo of Steve Jobs, I’ve never seen him in a tie. It’s strange, considering how successful a business person he was. And also the fact that he related with many people who often wore them…and who probably considered doing so a basic requirement for taking anyone seriously.

In other words, they probably made an exception for Jobs, because he was already “made”. Another person who has an aversion for ties is Richard Branson. It’s unlikely that people who work(ed) for these two men were (are) ever be pressured to wear suits to work.

The resulting relaxed atmosphere probably makes (made) such employees bring their best selves to the job every time – to the benefit of their employers.

But not every company or employee can adopt an informal dress code. It depends on what they do. The question therefore is what about YOU, and YOUR company?

Is it possible an informal dress code can lead to an improvement in morale or performance in your workplace?

Maybe the company next door has done it, and staffs in your company are speaking (enviously) about it in hushed tones.

You do not have to be the CEO or a top manager to bring it up. My personal experience and achievements indicate that your position and years on the job, will not really matter either.

So, would you be willing to make a case to management for it, citing potential benefits to be had?

Big question :-)

NB: I’ve used mode of dressing as an example. You could apply this thinking to any other issues, such as telecommuting, or even work hours (for certain positions).

2. Mode of Operation In The Company

People can get used to a way of doing things, and simply stop thinking about coming up with possibly better ways to do them. Companies that adhere to Best Practice and Continuous Improvement principles are typically able to avoid this pitfall.

Sometimes you may find yourself in a group where the leader voices an opinion, or proposes a line of action, that others immediately accept as being valid.

Possibly they all instantly nod in agreement to it.

However, you, sitting right there amongst them, may actually hold a totally different view. But you may fear getting criticized or disapproved of, if you voice that difference of opinion.

Sometimes you may not even be the only one who feels this way in the group. It’s just that others may also prefer to keep quiet. Later on however, you may hear them whispering their reservations in hushed tones!

You can do better than that, and make a useful difference in the process :-)

Simply develop the habit of tactfully offering your differing views, and trying to get others to see where you’re coming from.

Sometimes it may turn out that you’re wrong. Those with a better understanding of the matter may tell you why and how. It won’t be the end of the world. And you would then not keep wondering about it.

This has happened to me many times.

I once voiced a difference of opinion in a company I worked for, because I had not fully gotten all the details pertaining to an issue. Others who were better informed promptly filled me in, and I stood corrected.

But there were also occasions when I voiced a divergent opinion, and it turned out to be a good thing for the entire group – indeed the company. On a number of occasions, it even led to considerable savings of time and money!

I’ve narrated real life stories in many past articles, of how (during my time in paid employment) voicing my opinion led to significant workplace improvements, and eventual career advancement for me. Here’s one of those articles.

Final Words: Voice Your Opinion, But Don’t Be Rude

This article is not a call for anyone to go around speaking or acting without regard for others.

All I’m saying is don’t let a fear of being different, or getting criticized, make you stifle the urge to suggest potential improvements.

You’re being paid to give your best to the company. Holding back effectively means doing the opposite.

Even if your idea is not accepted, it will be noted as a contribution you’ve made. Many forward thinking companies today get higher productivity, because they reward employees for number of suggestions they make.

If yours is not already doing that, that’s probably another potentially useful idea you should not hold back from voicing to decision makers!

My DN Travel News, Self-Development

3 Tips for Dealing with Your Fears (Lessons from Encounters with Spitting Cobras)

Leave a comment

If you don’t feel fear, you’re either a cyborg or a ghost :-) It’s normal to feel fear. But not all fears deserve our recognition. Interestingly, surveys reveal that more than a fear of wild animals, the fear of speaking before an audience tops the list for many people.

This article narrates a young lady’s near fatal encounter with a spitting cobra in a Nigerian village. It then highlights insights from that experience, for dealing successfully with unfounded fears, so you can achieve your goals, and live a more fulfilled life!

1. Living With Spitting Cobras in a Village without Electricity (A True Story)

There are times when it is wise to feel fear. A good example is when you come across a poisonous snake or any wild animal. However, you’ll often fare better if you use that fear to carefully navigate away from danger, rather than allowing it to strike terror in your mind. The latter could cause you to panic, resulting in avoidable injury or worse.

The following true story provides a useful illustration.

In 1993, I spent about 9 months serving with 4 other youth corp. members, in Gulu-Vatsa village, in Lapai local government area of Nigeria’s middle belt situated Niger state.

Like the villagers, we periodically came across black spitting cobras of different ages and sizes, along footpaths. Whenever that happened we followed the tips we’d been given: keep calm, standstill, and let the reptile slitter away into the grass.

Sudden movements could startle them. And when they get upset, they can spit venom with amazing accuracy. Documentaries about them often make a note of this.

One night, an unmarried female teacher who’d been away for a few weeks to see her family in the East, returned home. Getting in, she made her way to the toilet holding a torchlight (the village was not connected to the national grid, so we had no electricity).

On opening the door, her light fell on an adult cobra coiled up on the water closet!

She panicked and screamed, dropping the metal torchlight to the floor. The nervous snake reacted by spitting in her direction – and (as I was told) it got into one of her eyes. Luckily, she was rushed to the clinic and got the antidote injection on time.

We later learnt she left her window open when she travelled. The snake had adopted the warm interior to escape the cold. That incident helped us understand why we’d always been warned to avoid leaving windows and doors open, whenever we left our rooms.

2. Fear Comes From a Lack of Familiarity (E.g. Your First Day at Work, or Your First Day of Driving Alone)

We all experience a little fear. What’s important is to ensure it does not hold us back from making useful progress in life.

Can you recall your first few days on your first ever job? Or the first few weeks you drove alone, after completing your driving lesson for instance? Most of us nursed silent fears during those phases in our lives.

A quick confession here: I never took lessons. I learnt to drive a car (or more correctly, “move it in the direction I wanted to go!”) by watching the feet and hands of Guinness drivers – when I worked as a young shift brewer. I memorized the sequence of clutch and gear changes, and then tried out what I learnt on my father’s car when I visited home (behind his back, of course!).

Later, during the first few weeks of driving my own newly acquired (imported second hand) Toyota Carina, I was constantly gripped by a fear of causing an accident. This fear grew into near terror whenever I sighted a car (or worse a truck or trailer) coming up behind me.

I doubt I’m the only one who felt this way. But by driving regularly – sometimes making mistakes and surviving them – we gained familiarity with the activity. Today, we fearlessly go through the motions of driving cars, having literally mastered the process.

The above proves that we lose fear, and gain confidence, from knowing we can do something.

3. The Key to Defeating Fear: Get Familiar with Whatever Scares You.

In certain societies, people live in harmony with snakes, and even worship them. In others, the mere sight of a baby snake will have everyone taking to their heels. Kids in Gulu-Vatsa village did not consider Cobras a big deal.

It all boils down to familiarity.

To free yourself from the burden of your fears, learn more about the cause(s). Then as appropriate, do more of (or expose yourself more often to) it. As noted above, new drivers lose their fears as they drive more often. Same applies to public speaking, and indeed any other activity.

Just go out and do it, then do more of it (e.g. read books, then give free talks), until your fears fade into insignificance.

People who engage in dangerous sports and stunts have perfected this art. They feel fear, but they’ve learnt to keep it under control, so as to achieve their valued goals.

The examples discussed in this article have been provided for purposes of illustration, and may not necessarily apply to your situation.

However, the basic principles highlighted are universally applicable.

Decide whether or not the costs you currently endure as a result of your fear(s), are worth working to eliminate. If your answer is yes, then the ideas offered in this may provide a useful starting point.

Here’s wishing you a life free from the influence of unfounded and unnecessary fears.

Entrepreneurship, My DN Travel News

How to Insure Yourself for Success (A Time Tested Solution)

Leave a comment

To achieve long term success, you must keep going when things get tough, and avoid losing focus when the going is good. That’s easier said than done though! Which is why you need a guiding philosophy. Without it, even highly skilled and talented people have failed.

When inevitable “tests” of qualities like endurance and integrity came, they had nothing to draw on e.g. successful people who fell to scandals. Those who (re) discover or use it, however recover e.g. Tiger Woods. This article describes a time tested philosophy that has helped millions across the world – which you can also use.

A Time Tested Philosophy That Yields Balanced Success

This philosophy is contained in a free e-book titled “Science of Getting Rich”(SOGR) – authored by Donald Wattles in the early 1900s.

Keep in mind that “riches” mentioned go beyond material possessions, to include good (physical, mental and emotional) health, relationships, spiritual well being etc. YOU are to achieve success in all those dimensions. Nature abhors imbalance.

It was in 2002 that I first got a copy of the SOGR PDF e-book.

I will confess that when I first read it, nothing happened. There was no mind blowing revelation.

This happened because – as Napoleon Hill said in “Think and Grow Rich” – I was not ready for the truth.

(This may also be your experience at first – but keep it with you, and one day you will be ready).

Fast forward one year after I started my business (i.e. 2003), and I was – ready that is.

I’d received my baptism of fire from the University of Hard Knocks as a start-up entrepreneur. And I was looking for help and answers – to many challenges I faced.

So I read everything: James Cook’s “Start-up Entrepreneur”, Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich”, and other books, including countless articles on the web.

Then one day I stumbled on the CDROM (given to me at a conference I attended the year before) containing the SOGR e-book.

This time around the words in the e-book came alive to me. By the time I devoured the first chapter on the PC, I knew I had to have it in print.

TIP: I suggest you do the same. Download and print out your copy of this free e-book. Then use a highlight pen to mark blocks of text you wish to recall.

I’ve since given the e-book to more people than I can remember.

NB: This is not a religious thing. And it does not require changing your religious preference in any way. If anything, it will complement it. When you read the book, you’ll see what I mean.

Here’s what I’ve (so far) learnt from applying the SOGR successfully in my life and business…and from sharing what I learnt with others so they can do the same:

1. There Is No Room for Doubts or Biases

The SOGR will work for you, IF you apply it with what the author called “ABSOLUTE and UNQUESTIONING FAITH“.

Wattles states the above as a fundamental requirement. It won’t work if you don’t do it!

So, dispense with any doubts or biases – and grab this with both hands.

2. Do It Right, and You’ll Experience Many Useful “Coincidences”

Something amazing will begin to happen when you diligently do it. The emphasis on “diligently” is deliberate.

Strange – but pleasant – coincidences (benefits you seek, when most needed!) will occur often.

Others who use the SOGR have reported similar experiences for decades. The uninitiated will marvel at your unusual ability to harvest “good fortune” in seemingly hopeless situations.

This true story proves some of us even unconsciously apply SOGR. The book will equip us to do it more deliberately, for more predictable results.

It takes some doing, but it works. You simply need to do it consistently.

This is no exaggeration. Over 10 years of applying this philosophy to better achieve my goals, makes me say this with conviction. Lord knows I would not have gotten this far, doing what I do, without the SOGR!

3. Continually Visualise What You Want, Even When the Opposite Is Your Current Reality

Years of re-reading this book, have led to certain blocks of text in it being imprinted in my memory.

Whenever I need an inspirational boost in the face of adversity (e.g. unforeseen challenges in a new country), I draw on this mental reserve. It enables me continue THINKING and ACTING in the CERTAIN WAY as prescribed in the book.

The following is a quote I took from that “reserve” in sharing on this subject with someone in a recent discussion:

“To think riches in the midst of the appearances of poverty requires power…But whoever acquires this power becomes a master mind…He can conquer fate, and have whatever he wants.”

The above excerpts will be found, if I recall correctly, in Chapter One.

Memorize them.

They will provide valuable inspiration when you most need it. Believe me. I’ve been there!

4. How to Get Started With the SOGR, & Make Useful Progress

Visit Rebecca Fine’s SOGR website to download your copy (join the forums too).

Read the book repeatedly. Aim to know most parts by heart. That way, anytime you need to drink from its deep well of wisdom, you will be able to do so literally at will.

You’re bound to make rapid progress in using the SOGR when you do this.

For even better results, make notes you can consult, and also build a CMI (i.e. “Clear Mental Image”) of your desired outcome.

Read Rebecca Fine’s “What the heck is a CMI ?” in the forums.

5. Signs That Will Confirm You’re Doing It Right

Please understand that the SOGR is not a promise of overnight success.

You will reap the benefits you seek if you follow the prescribed steps. How well you do that (and how ready your creator determines you are to move to the next stage), will determine your rate of progress.

a. The most important sign that you’re doing it right, will be the peace of mind you’ll suddenly discover to be yours.

This will be a direct outcome of you understanding the eternal truth that there is no scarcity. That only abundance exists for you.

In essence, you’ll know you need not compete, or hurry, to get what you want.

b. Another sign will be the earlier mentioned coincidences.

I stopped believing in coincidences when I began using the SOGR.

You will also discover that coincidences you experience are not normal. As the book promises – they will be solutions created and delivered to you from “your creator”, in response to your diligently thinking and acting in the certain way.

c. All the additional nice benefits you seek in life will ultimately make their way to you, as long as you continue to do it right.

I wish you well as you begin to use the SOGR.

PS: Go get the life changing PDF e-book now – it’s free.

PPS: And here’s an admonition from the author worth bearing in mind as you begin: “Do not…get into arguments upon the matter.” – Donald Wattles

PPPS: Lastly, I remind you that the SOGR is not a religious philosophy. And it does not require changing your religious preference in any way. If anything, it complements it. When you read it, you’ll see what I mean!

My DN Travel News, Public Speaking

No. 91: How an Expert State of Mind Can Hurt YOU (5 Tips)

Leave a comment

I know. They call you an expert at what you do. And you certainly consider yourself one. After all, you did not get to be this good by accident.

So how can having an expert state of mind possibly be bad for you?

Well, if truth be told, as experts-who-speak, this danger is even more REAL for us! This week’s issue of my Speaking IDEAS newsletter explains why that is so, and what you can do to protect yourself.

SCROLL DOWN TO VIEW FULL ISSUE

Click now to view the latest issue of Tayo Solagbade's Public Speaking IDEAS page

View Tayos video tutorials and demonstrations on Facebook Productivity Tips, Web Marketing, and for his Custom MS Excel-VB driven software applicationsConnect with Tayo on Facebook.comConnect with Tayo on Twitter.comConnect with Tayo on Google Plus

Is this email not displaying correctly?

View it in your browser.

Publication: Tayo Solagbade’s Weekly Public Speaking IDEAS Page (PSIP) Newsletter

Date: Monday 27th May 2013

No:91

Title: How an Expert State of Mind Can Hurt YOU (5 Tips)

Author & Publisher: Tayo K. Solagbade [234-803-302-1263]

Blog URL: http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/blog

Archive (For Blog version started 24th September 2011): Click here

Hi,

Please find below the latest issue of my Speaking IDEAS newsletter.

Autorun CDROM for Part 1 (Greetings i.e. Salutation/Accueil) of the Quick & Dirty Guide to English Language for French Speakers…and to French Language for English Speakers)

a). Video you can playback repeatedly from start to finish

b). Excel workbook you can open and click individual phrases to listen, or print out to read.

c). 26 individual audio files you can listen to on your PC or mobile

Price: N2,000 / 6,000 F CFA

(free delivery in Cotonou & Calavi in Benin Republic)

Screenshot of autorun CD ROM for Part 1 of the Quick and Dirty Guide for French and English Learners

Above: Screenshot of autorun CD ROM for Part 1 of the Quick and Dirty Guide for French and English Learners

(Click HERE to see screenshots & Watch video)

Find out how to get a copy here …

 

No. 90: How an Expert State of Mind Can Hurt YOU (5 Tips)

**** **********

NB: If you ever find yourself wondering what else I’ve written, some days after you’ve read THIS Speaking Ideas newsletter I send out on a Monday, here’s what you can do to find out: Point your browser to www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/sdnuggets to read at least ONE new post added to my SD Nuggets blog on a different category from Tuesday till Saturday (sometimes even Sundays) in line with this publishing schedule :-)

**********

I know. They call you an expert at what you do. And you certainly consider yourself one. After all, you did  not get to be this good by accident.

So how can having an expert state of mind possibly be bad for you?

Well, if truth be told, as experts-who-speak, this danger is even more REAL for us! This week’s issue of my Speaking IDEAS newsletter explains why that is so, and what you can do to protect yourself.

1. You Are an Expert  – But You Will Not Always Have the Answers

It’s in all of us. Along with the self-assurance and confidence that comes from knowing you’re competent, there comes a potential tendency to forget we don’t really know it all.

Or let me put it this way: you can forget that you MAY not always know what will, or will not work, in your field of expertise.

As experts-who-speak, that can happen often if we’re not cautious.

What we know to be true today, may get overtaken by a newer discovery tomorrow.

So, you’ll probably want to avoid telling anyone something’s “impossible” now, because YOU can’t see it with YOUR experience based expert insight.

Why? Because someone else just might!

2. One Real Life Example of How Expert Mindsets Can Be Bad For Everyone

There was a time when everyone saw nothing wrong with feeding babies, with man made baby foods, without breastfeeding.

Decades afterwards, came the wonderful discovery (known to village dwellers for centuries!), about the advantages of feeding babies breast milk from nursing mothers.  It provides nutritional and health benefits that are hard to duplicate. So everyone switched back to breast feeding!

But certain medical “experts” led us down the earlier path, and kept us going that way for decades. What were they thinking then? And what were WE thinking by listening to them for so long?

How come no one thought to challenge their ideas and recommendations much earlier ?

The answer is that we all regarded them as experts. And societal conditioning makes us believe they know better than the rest of us.

They also knew that – which was probably why they relaxed, and never thought to challenge themselves either – through all those decades!

Do you now see how this “expert mindset” has a tendency to put everyone in trouble? Aha!

3. Authentic Experts Must Be Willing to Be Objective

As an expert-who-speaks, it is highly conceivable that you may find yourself taken up by an audience member, who during the “Q and A” session, challenges a line of thinking, or opinion you voiced.

Avoid getting defensive or taking it personal. Remember that s/he may not have your level of expert insight. Ironically, that may sometimes actually be an advantage – for him/her!

For instance,  a new person who joins an establishment, often bring “fresh eyes” to bear – and is likely to be less sentimentally attached to the existing state of affairs.  As a result, she would more readily identify aspects needing improvement that others have become blind to .

The above perspective could be one applicable to the question-asking audience member I mentioned earlier. S/he could be asking with the “fresh eyes/mind” of one who has not become too familiar with the subject.

Sometimes an expert voices an opinion, and people accept it.

Then when a contrary or competing school of thought comes up, the expert may feel defensive.

The smart thing would however be to maintain an objective mindset. Carefully assess the new line of thinking for its merits, and then offer an informed view based on that assessment.

This will put you back in the driver’s seat as an authority on your subject, because you would then be endorsing that new perspective using your expert insight!

4. Problems Arise When Experts Refuse to Acknowledge They Don’t Know Everything

It’s great to think of yourself as an expert, and to go about your work with that mental attitude.

However, never let it intoxicate you into believing you alone will always have the last say about issues relating to your field of expertise.

That would be a costly mistake – and you risk making yourself looking bad in the long run.

How? Well, if – and this has happened a  lot in history – the other person is eventually proved right, all your narrow minded arguments could make you look LESS than the expert you wanted to be seen as!

If you still don’t get it, let me elaborate further: a REAL expert can also demonstrate her expertise by being one of those who first recognises the next big idea, and endorses or recommend sit to others.

And that includes ideas that eclipse her own. You need not always be the originator of the next big thing, to be relevant!

(NB: It goes without saying that you should stand your ground, if you are honestly convinced the other argument or idea  does not hold water. Say it as you see it. You do NOT need phony humility!)

5. Resist The Urge to Adopt the Expert State of Mind

“The moment one gets into the expert state of mind, a great number of things become impossible” – Henry Ford

Henry Ford reportedly distrusted experts, believing they were too familiar with the reasons that something could not be done.

For was (and is) NOT the only one who feels this way about experts…

For instance, James Cook (Millionaire Entrepreneur, and best selling author of “The Start-up Entrepreneur”) warned aspiring entrepreneurs, that people (e.g. experts) who offer advice will often give it based on how your (i.e. the entrepreneur’s) idea affects them.

In other words, they will give you answers that depend on whether they think your idea has negative or positive implications for them.

This a basic self-preservation tendency based on a natural instinct that all human beings have.

As an expert-who-speaks, DO NOT to let that instinct control you. Especially in relating to your audience members who will ask for your informed opinion, view, perspective, and advice – be it openly, or in private.

Instead, be authentic and objective – regardless of whether doing so will contradict a position you may have previously adopted on the issue.

That will actually cement – and certainly NOT erode – your credibility as an expert!

 

Need More Details of How to Make The Above Ideas Work for YOU?

If you need more specific details of how to make use of the ideas I’ve shared in this newsletter, send me a message using this request form (with “How an Expert State of Mind Can Hurt YOU (5 Tips)” in the subject line).

SD Nuggets Blog™

 New posts from last week that may interest you! *
Public Speaking[Monday]:

Entrepreneurship [Tuesday]:
Self-Development [Wednesday]:

Career Development [Thursday]:
This Dangerous Mindset Can Derail Your Career

Parenting [Friday]:

Writing/Blogging [Saturday]:
Want me to write for you? Click here…

Click now

Have a lovely week!

Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist

*Sole Agent For Burt Dubin’s Speaker Mentoring Service In Africa

Mobile: 234-803-302-1263

http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com

Self-Development/Performance Enhancement Specialist – Tayo Solagbade – works as a multipreneurial freelance writer providing  zero risk article and report writing support for website owners, while travelling slowly across West Africa as a Location Independent Entrepreneur.

He’s presently based in Benin Republic, where he’s preparing an English-French Language Guide, City Travel Guides, and a Commercial Rabbit Farming Guide.

In a previous life, before leaving to become self-employed, Tayo served for seven years as a high performing manager in Guinness Nigeria. He rose from Shift Brewer, to Training & Technical Development Manager, then later acted in senior management roles as Production Manager and Technical Manager.

When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Self-Development Nuggets™ blog, and Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter (which he publishes to promote Burt Dubin’s Public Speaking Mentoring service to experts working across the African continent).

Connect with him on Twitter @tksola.com and Facebook.

==================

Have you been undecided about whether or not to become a paid speaker? Or have you been trying to get your speaking career off the ground with little success?

Here’s a tip: Burt Dubin works with people who want to be speakers, and with speakers who want to be masters. Click here to visit his website NOW and submit a contact form message telling him what challenges you’re facing, and how you’d like him to help you. Tell him I sent you, and you’ll get a pleasant surprise offer from him.

Comments?

What do you think of the above message? Do you have any personal experience to share on this subject? Are there some other points you feel can be added, to help persons looking for answers? Please share your thoughts!

Share this issue!

Do you know anyone who might benefit from reading this newsletter issue? Why not hit the forward button now, and send it to him/her with a short recommendation. You can also use share it via your social media channels. Thanks in advance.

View Tayos video tutorials and demonstrations on Facebook Productivity Tips, Web Marketing, and for his Custom MS Excel-VB driven software applicationsConnect with Tayo on Facebook.comConnect with Tayo on Twitter.comConnect with Tayo on Google Plus

What fears or doubts are keeping you from (a) taking up Burt Dubin’s monthly speaker mentoring, or (b) buying his products?

You can choose to purchase Burt’s mentoring at any of the three (3) levels listed below:

1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Burt’s three mentoring packages can be likened to the seating options offered by airlines: Budget Delight (Economy); Mid Range (Business); and Top Shelf (First Class).

At least that’s how I like to think of them!

All three will get you to your desired destination of “speaking success-ville” – so long as you meet the requirements/play your part well (your fare, abide by the set guidelines etc). During the “flight”, the seat you have will determine how much personal service attention and preference the provider will accord you. It’s that simple :-)

So, make your choice:1. Top Shelf [Click here] | 2. Mid Range [Click here] | 3. Budget Delight [Click here]

Send me an e-mail with your questions via tayo at tksola dot com. In the meantime, why not get started by subscribing here to get his 7-Part Course (How To Succeed And Get Paid As A Professional Speaker) .  . . and receive his monthly newsletter (Speaking Biz Strategies Letter) at no cost.

Get mentored by Burt Dubin - coach of some of the world's highest paid public speakersFor over 25 years, Burt Dubin has provided a variety of speaker mentoring products and services to clients worldwide.
Download this flyer as PDF: http://tinyurl.com/bdubin-africa

Burt Dubin now offers his speaker mentoring service to experts based in Africa. Click now to download this flyer as PDF

 

 

Career Development, Entrepreneurship, Farm Biz, General, My DN Travel News, Parenting, Public Speaking, Self-Development, Writing/Blogging

F-Y-I: Google Confirms Hacker Attacks On This Website

Leave a comment

I’ve periodically announced the fact that I believe that – this website (spontaneoudevelopment.com) – is a target of selectively orchestrated online attacks. Well, this past Wednesday 22nd May 2013, I got a detailed email from Google Web master Support confirming some of my suspicions.

Below is the detailed hacker email alert sent me by Google, and also the email I’ve since sent to my web host – in line with the advice given by Google.

I’ve also already commenced taking action to clean out the mentioned sites.

(Yesterday a power blackout lasting from about 8.30a.m till 10pm across Benin Republic meant I was unable to start earlier).

Subject: [Fwd: [Webmaster Tools] Message summary]

From: tayo at spontaneousdevelopment dot com

Date: Thu, May 23, 2013 10:57 am

To: support at hostgator.com

Cc: tayosolagbade at gmail dot com

Priority: High

Read receipt: requested

Hi

Google just gave me this heads up (see forwarded email below).

A few days back, I got an email that suggested efforts were being made to

sabotage my website. This confirms it.

See a blog post I put up about it:

http://spontaneousdevelopment.com/sdnuggets/fyi-orchestrated-sabotage-campaign-against-this-website/

Can you give me any ideas of how to proceed in resolving this problem.

Would appreciate any help you can give.

Thanks in advance,

With kindest regards,

Tayo

PS: Sometimes I even get the feeling my emails are being intercepted and

blocked. But again, I can’t prove it. Maybe this has something to do with

it.

—————————- Original Message —————————-

Subject: [Webmaster Tools] Message summary

From: wmt-noreply at google.com

Date: Wed, May 22, 2013 7:37 pm

To: tayo at spontaneousdevelopment dot com

————————————————————————–

Google Logo

Message summary

Webmaster Tools sent you the following important messages about sites in

your account. To keep your site healthy, we recommend regularly reviewing

these messages and addressing any critical issues.

Notice of Suspected Hacking on

http://www.excelheaven.spontaneousdevelopment.com/

Dear site owner or webmaster of

http://www.excelheaven.spontaneousdevelopment.com/,

We are writing to let you know that we believe some of your website’s pages

may be hacked. Specifically, we think that JavaScript has been injected

into your site by a third party and may be used to redirect users to

malicious sites. You should check your source code for any unfamiliar

JavaScript and in particular any files containing “counter.php”

style=”visibility: hidden; position: absolute; left: 0px; top: 0px”

width=”10″ height=”10″. The malicious code may be placed in HTML,

JavaScript or PHP files so it’s important to be thorough in your search.

The following are example URLs from your site where we found such content:

http://www.excelheaven.spontaneousdevelopment.com/buy_xl_software.htm

http://www.excelheaven.spontaneousdevelopment.com/pu_coaching.htm

[deleted text]

Notice of Suspected Hacking on http://www.iff.spontaneousdevelopment.com/

Dear site owner or webmaster of http://www.iff.spontaneousdevelopment.com/,

We are writing to let you know that we believe some of your website’s pages may be hacked. Specifically, we think that JavaScript has been injected into your site by a third party and may be used to redirect users to malicious sites. You should check your source code for any unfamiliar JavaScript and in particular any files containing “counter.php”

style=”visibility: hidden; position: absolute; left: 0px; top: 0px”

width=”10″ height=”10″. The malicious code may be placed in HTML,

JavaScript or PHP files so it’s important to be thorough in your search.

The following are example URLs from your site where we found such content:

http://www.iff.spontaneousdevelopment.com/feb06.htm

In addition, it’s also possible your server configuration files (such as

Apache’s .htaccess) have been compromised. As a result of this, your site
may be cloaking and showing the malicious content only in certain

situations.

We encourage you to investigate this matter in order to protect your

visitors. If your site was compromised, it’s important to not only remove

the malicious (and usually hidden) content from your pages, but also to

identify and fix the vulnerability. A good first step may be to contact

your web host’s technical support for assistance. It’s also important to

make sure that your website’s software is up-to-date with the latest

security updates and patches.

More information about cleaning your site can be found at:

http://support.google.com/webmasters/bin/answer.py?hl=en&answer=163634

Sincerely, Google Search Quality Team

Here’s My Understanding Of The Discovery Made By Google About Attacks On My Websites

I’m sharing all this information to help others, who now, or in future, may have similar experiences. It always helps to read about what others faced, and measures they took to recover.

The malicious code discovered on my websites by Google, was found to be (selectively) redirecting people who visit my website to possible scam – or spam – websites.

So, when someone visits my website from Google, they may even get a virus or malicious code warning about my website. And this will make the intending visitor quickly leave! They never arrive at that page. But I won’t know its happening.

In the meantime, Google will exclude that page from their searches – and I will receive less visits, enquiries and subscribers. That’s been happening – but my consistent blogging has helped cushion the effects a little bit.

See how complicated this whole issue is – and it’s devastating effect on my ability to earn more income?

Additional Insights Into The Negative Impact Of This Hacker Attack

It’s with this Google confirmation that I’m now able to put 2 and 2 together, to make sense of the strange experiences I’ve been having.

Burt Dubin has – as usual – kindly written in, on learning of this new development. My thanks to him – and my friends/family – for all the moral support, as I tackle these different efforts to pull me down (and they are MANY I tell you – without exaggeration).

There’s a consistent odd/tell tale trend I’ve noticed in these attacks. And those I’ve pointed it out to agree with me, that it is a good sign that these attacks are being done (or sponsored) by people who know me, and who want to discredit me. They are not the usual random attacks.

For instance, specific pages and documents on my website (e.g. my PDF resume, learning event PDF flyers and other pages specifically used to showcase my products and services for sale) are selectively attacked – not the entire website!

They also attacked my popular articles (which I still have on HTML pages) that attract a lot of readers. Those pages used to come up in Google, now they don’t.

The obvious purpose is to prevent me from gaining enough credibility to convert more visitors into buyers (like I did with the Canadian Farm Project Manager priest – to their surprise I’m sure).

It’s even affected my efforts to gain marketing traction for my learning events and new products here in Benin Republic. I’ve had so many in-person meetings that started out looking promising.

Then we would part by exchanging cards, and the prospects would promise to visit my website as agreed, in readiness for a follow up meeting.

As you can imagine, a visit to the website that results in a virus warning or a scam offer will NOT inspire any confidence in a prospect to pursue furthr relations with the owner!

Now consider the REAL possibility that ALL those I’ve been sending my Guest Posts, English-French Guide CDROMs and Seminar proposals to have been having that experience?!!

Our Websites Need To Be Protected – And We Will Often Need All The Help We Can Get

I’m not giving details of the solution I’ve settled on.

But the trends I’ve noticed in these attacks strongly suggest implementing it will make a lasting world of difference. Where I’ve been using this planned solution, I’ve NEVER had this problem, so I intend to simply extend it to the rest of the website.

Sadly, all this has prevented me from building on my success from a few months back.

It took a lot of work to get that far. I’d continued work to build on it. But I found it so strange that everything just came to an almost complete halt.

Google has now helped show why this happened, with this email advice they sent me. I’m now working hard to clean up the entire website to (as they correctly put it) protect my visitors/users.

Most of what I’m trying to achieve in my business (online and off the web) depends on how my website presents me.

That’s where I put up most of my marketing material to support even my offline efforts. Today, people readily Google you, and check your website out to make up their minds.

Mine has helped me earn decent income (and achieve great marketing mileage/exposure) while spending VERY little – even from Nigerians who find it hard to trust themselves talk less of others.

They’ve sent me money from different parts of the country. I have CEOs in Lagos, Niger, Kano, Ibadan and other places who own businesses (e.g. farms, and other companies) that have bought my handbook and subscribe to my newsletter, and are now friends but we’ve never met!

Someone I’d never met before even sent N35,000 (approx. $230 USD) into my bank account, two full weeks before travelling from over 8 hours away in Akwa Ibom, to meet me in Lagos. It was on a Saturday, and I spent about 4 hours putting him through practical Feed Formulation at a feed mill in Oko Oba, late last year.

Why Would A Stranger Send Me Payment 2 weeks Ahead For An In-Person Training? It Was Simply Based On What He Read On My Website.

And That’s How Powerful Your Writing Can Be!

If you own a website, you probably depend on it to achieve similar goals.

That’s why when your website is not in a good state of health, your chances of making useful progress are limited.

So, this kind of attack is something we all need to protect ourselves against. And we will often need all the help we can get to do so successfully.

When focussing on the serious business of attracting clients for your services, it can be annoying to discover “hidden”
attacks like these diluting one’s efforts. This has been an on-going battle for close to 2 years now.

Everytime I
clean it out, they come right back. I’m determined to make this
the last.

I’m grateful for the support provided by Google via their Webmaster tools email alert, and for my web host (Hostgator)’s usual amazing support.

PS: Oh, by the way, I know the “bad guys” are on my newsletter mailing list, and also possibly tune in via RSS etc. So they’re always lurking, with malicious intent.

Well, Here Are Some FINAL WORDS for Those Haters to Chew On…

A proverb in my language (Yoruba) says:

“Ota o le pa kadara mi da. Won kan le fa owo ago pada si ehin ni”

Literal translation: Enemies/haters/evil-doers cannot change my destiny. They can only pull the hands of the clock backwards”.

Contextual translation: “People who try to hurt/stop you can never succeed unless you let them. The best they can do is to slow you down. Eventually, if you don’t stop, YOU will wear THEM down.”

And of course, I hope you know that your “destiny” is what you make of it?

Yes it is!

Like Williams Jennings Bryan said…

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, but of choice. Not something to wish for, but to attain.”

Sigh. If these guys knew where I draw my inspiration from, they would have quit long ago. But becasue they are so DAFT, they persist in wasting their time.

How do you stop a guy who simply does not understand how to give up?

Your best bet is: Shoot him…and make sure you don’t miss!

The problem you will have is MY creator will not let ANYONE succeed in doing that to me.

Evil can never triumph over GOOD. Falsehood can never defeat TRUTH. Period.

So “haters”, if you can find better things to do with your time, I’d really advise you do SO NOW. You will NOT win this war. I’m in this to the end – and by then I’ll be the last one standing. Believe it.

My DN Travel News, Writing/Blogging

When YOU Love Writing Enough, It Will Reveal All Its Secrets To YOU!

Leave a comment

Has anyone ever told you that YOU were born a writer? If no, then I just did. And I assure you that it is true.If you have never thought about yourself this way, that’s probaby just because, the conditioning you’ve received from society has made you forget. This article explains how re-discovering and embracing this inborn ability will help you uncover secrets you need to excel at writing.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said:

“The power that is in you is new in nature. And none but you know what that is that you can do. Nor do you know until you try.”

I’m Living Proof That It Is True

Once you have the ability to read, hear, think and reason, you can be a writer. It’s that simple. If you could ask any of those who knew me as a child or during my days in school, the last thing anyone imagined me doing was writing – the way I do today, for myself, and for clients .

I’ve since seen others who never showed any aptitude for – or interest in – writing, suddenly venture into it, and get hooked. That’s why we have medical doctors, musicians, fashion designers, photographers, scientists, and people in many unlikely fields who write. And they often do so seriously too – many getting well paid in the process as well.

But Why Should You Believe Me?

Well, you see I’ve used my writing to achieve all kinds of (what I used to think were impossible) goals – including getting people to part with money for different things I sell (e.g. custom Excel-Visual Basic Driven software, for feed formulation, payslip generation etc); print and eBooks, usage rights to articles, consultations etc).

Considering my part of the world from which I’ve done it, I believe this achievement becomes even more significant.

What’s more, I’ve continued all this, despite relentless sponsored efforts to sabotage my work online.

A few years ago, my name was not known in certain circles. In my own country, many who knew me did not take my writing seriously.

But today, relentless use of my writing to boost name recognition and marketing reach has gotten me massive positive benefits.

And it cost me nothing more than the effort and time spent writing the relevant pieces.

And I’ll do more with time – the efforts of any detractors notwithstanding.

I Say The Above Not to Massage My Ego, But to Show You Can Do the Same

Just like me, you can (and probably already) do something similar – or better (like 19 year old Bamidele Onibalusi, who I love to brag about all the time). The problem, for some people, may however be that they do not yet believe they were born to write.

So, I’m going to say it again: You were born to write. Everybody was born with the innate instinct – and capacity – to write!

However, not everyone keys in to that realization early on in life. Some of us take a while to discover and take ownership of that inborn ability. Others may never, possibly because their interests and vocations (sometimes their fears!) won’t let them go in that direction.

When You Love Writing Enough, It Will Reveal All Its Secrets To You

I coined the above phrase from a quote used by Burt Dubin (which he credited to an author I cannot recall) during an interview.

The original quote went thus:

“When you love something enough, it reveals all its secrets to you.”

Burt Dubin is a renowned mentor of some of the world’s highest paid professional speakers. So he commands the attention of listeners when he speaks on the subject of achievement.

He also shared some useful information about Leonardo Da Vinci, as written by a biographer (in the encyclopedia Britannica):

“From his earliest days, he flung himself upon his studies with an unprecedented ardor of delight and curiosity.”

Based on the above Burt rightly advocates immersing yourself in your vocation, with the ardor of a lover, if you want to excel at it.

He noted that that was how Da Vinci developed the concept of submarines, aircraft and more, “hundreds of years before they were invented”.

Burt further noted that that was how he (i.e. Burt) developed his unique grasp of the speaking business.

It goes without saying, therefore, that that IS what YOU need to do as well, if you want to excel at writing – or indeed any other vocation that catches your fancy..

Like I said when I started this piece, you were born to write. Therefore, to paraphrase Mr. Dubin, “Surrender to Your Purpose”!

The results won’t appear overnight. But as you continue, you’ll gradually begin delivering amazing writing output. And those who read your work will confirm it.

Good luck!

My DN Travel News, Parenting

The Trick About Parenting (Based on A Tip from Robert Kiyosaki)

Leave a comment

Oprah Winfrey once had a number of unusually successful child geniuses on her show, some as young as 5 years old (and I think even younger!). Despite their ages, these kids were already earning huge amounts of income, because of special skills or talents discovered early and encouraged/nurtured by their parent(s).

It is my considered opinion, that children who discover purpose in life that early, often have parents who KNOW the “trick of parenting”.

But What Exactly Is The “Trick About Parenting”?

Robert Kiyosaki* says:

“The trick about parenting is to find ways to make a child want to learn rather than forcing the child to learn”.

*Note: Robert Kiyosaki is a 4th generation Japanese American whose ideas about educational reform have transformed the thinking of millions of parents and educators. If you’re interested, you might want to get a copy of his bestseller “If you want to be rich and happy, don’t go to school?” and “Rich Kid Smart Kid” (Google the titles). Both books offer very good value for money – and will help any serious parent easily empower his/her child to tackle key life challenges.

So How Do You Apply This “Trick” To Help Your Kids?

What follows is my experience based opinion as one who has had to be a parent to five kids during the most turbulent period of my life (believe me).

Like I tell all who care to listen, I LIVE for my kids. Everything I do is driven by my desire to equip myself to be the best possible parent to them. And that is not limited to financial and material provisions.

Development of sound emotional and intellectual capacity to function effectively in ANY socioeconomic environment, is something I consider even more important.

I don’t want them going through life at the mercy of people or circumstances. What I’ve seen out here tells me that can happen if they lack proper preparation.

You need to find the way that each child prefers to learn, and use it to pass on whatever new knowledge/skills you want him to acquire. This requires making out time to be with your child, and carefully observing him/her over time.

NOTE: If you really love your child, then spending time watching him/her will certainly not be a boring or difficult experience for you – NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE.

Once you begin helping your child develop that passion, encourage him/her to apply what s/he learns – and not be afraid to make mistakes at first.

To really make a success of this, inculcate in your child the understanding that intelligent mistake making is a useful way to learn. That will remove a major potential “block” from her thinking, that would otherwise hold her back for years – if not throughout life!

You Have To Believe Irrationally In Your Child – And Infect Her with the Same Belief

There’s a good example in history. And who better than the author of a book that has sparked the self-development thinking revolution to show us how to do this?

Napoleon Hill – the legendary author of the best selling “THINK and GROW RICH” – dared to envision a normal life for his own son who was (unfortunately?) born without physical evidence of ears!

Hill passionately willed that his son would go through life, not feeling inadequate in anyway because of his physical handicap.

Somehow, that “silent communication” – and some actions Hill took – got through to his son.

It would later result in the deaf boy acquiring the ability to speak/hear normally. But that was not all. His son would also go on to play a VERY influential role, in the successful introduction of a special hearing device for use by other deaf people across the world.

The full details are in Hill’s book – Think and Grow Rich. Get a copy and read it.

I have met/listened to many people who claimed to have read that book. And yet when I asked them about this story, not one could recall reading it – NOT A SINGLE PERSON!

To be fair to them, I actually believe they read it, and subconsciously chose to forget it, because it sounded too improbable.

And yet we know that it happened just as Hill wrote it – else it would not have been published in that book and reproduced for decades like it has!

Hill’s amazing success story with his deaf son shows that he knew the trick about parenting.

His example shows what the power of your passionate desire for a purposeful existence for your child can do.

Your Child’s Future Depends Your Use of “This Trick”

Bring your life lessons about succeeding in the real world, to bear in coaching your children. Do this along the lines of THEIR natural interests/talents – to give them the best possible chance of excelling in life, as independent adults.

That’s my take on the trick about parenting.

And I believe that if I fail in doing that – for even ONE of my kids – I would have failed as a parent. That realization drives me every day in “parenting” my kids.

Give your child a chance to discover him/herself fully, and subsequently live a life of complete fulfillment, doing things that really bring joy and satisfaction to him/her.

That child will reward you in many ways – among other things, by becoming phenomenally successful, and telling others the role you played.

Just like Michael Jordan and John Maxwell acknowledged their fathers – or as Fela Anikulapo Kuti and Tupac Shakur credited their mothers.

Other examples abound in autobiographies.

Think of your child, and the uncertain future that awaits him/her if you fail to do this. You still have a good opportunity to make the necessary difference for him/her.You can use the ideas offered in this article to plan how to prepare him/her to succeed.

I sincerely hope your conscience guides you to take the right decision about how to “parent” your child.

Career Development, My DN Travel News

This Dangerous Mindset Can Derail Your Career

Leave a comment

In this write-up,  I highlight a mindset that can literally damage your career advancement prospects in any company,IF you let it get a hold of you. Do you have big career ambitions? Read this article, to learn how to avoid this potential obstacle.

A True Story About A Group of Students

A group of students in a higher institution lived together on campus. They often complained of not having enough money to eat. Yet when asked to emulate their colleagues who made money in the same hostel by being entrepreneurial (e.g. providing barbing services, selling mobile phone batteries etc), they always found an excuse not to do so.

But ever so often they asked certain older persons – who held jobs – to give them money, and got some. But sometimes when told no, they would fume and look accusingly at the person who declined to do so!

One day, one of the older persons got upset and asked them:

“Why do you act as it I owe you money? I’m not your parent for heaven’s sake. We only met here! And how do you think I got the money I have on me? Certainly not by behaving the way you do! Look, if you refuse to emulate your colleagues and start some income earning activity, do NOT come demanding money from me. You refusal to try implies you do not need money. So don’t think you can blackmail anyone by saying you asked them for money to eat and they said NO. If you change your attitude, people will help you!”

By way of interest, this group of undergraduates still have not changed. They are blinded by an irrational entitlement mentality. And that’s likely to hurt them later in life – beyond intermittent hunger pangs!

What I mean by “an entitlement mentality” is thinking that being somewhere entitles you to anything other have, that you want. That’s an unrealistic – indeed childish – assumption to make.

An Entitlement Mentality Can Also Hurt a Person in Paid Employment  – Badly Too

I believe it’s safe to say everyone who works for an employer wants to enjoy career advancement. But getting it – at least in most companies run based on merit – requires proving yourself worthy. Your being there for 10 years will not necessarily qualify you.

Having a great sense of humour, and being liked by everyone (is that even possible…everyone?) – including many of the decision makers, may not make them pick you, if there’s a better candidate.

So to get picked, you must prove to the decision makers that YOU are the best person for the job!

1. It Can Even Make You Blame Others – With Potentially Serious Consequences

Yes. This can happen. An employee with an entitlement mentality may find it hard to accept, if s/he does not get a career opportunity s/he’s been hoping for.

And it can be worse for people who believe that getting along with everyone will get them there. When that does not happen, they may resort to blaming others.

Once you feel someone is to blame, and conclude you cannot change the situation, RESENTMENT could take over. And ANGER may follow closely behind.

These emotions may find a way to show up in your work related behaviour. You could become less motivated, and probably irritable.

If they get wind of it, your bosses could mark you down as a result!

2. YOU Alone Are Responsible For What Happens to Your Career – No One Else

No matter what anyone tells you, only YOU are responsible for whatever comes your way in life: even if people plotted against you and (seem to have) succeeded.

This is because you can never control (or foresee) what others will or will not do to you. Therefore you can only reliably prepare yourself, to deal successfully with challenges that may come your way.

Once you understand this important truth, you’ll appreciate the need to explore ways to improve your ability to do your job. And whenever anything goes wrong (e.g. you don’t get a benefit you want), you will simply see it as a sign that you have more work to do. Period.

Even if you suspect someone of trying to stop you, don’t mentally throw your hands up in frustration. You will NOT be the first person to have such an experience!

If I recall correctly, it’s called “office politics”. You don’t have to play it, but it’s good to understand how it works, and use that knowledge to equip yourself to get around it. That’s not likely to be a wasted effort, because you’ll need that know-how to succeed as you advance your career even further.

NB:  Nobody can stop you. The best they can do is slow you down. Keep that in mind ALWAYS.

REMEMBER: It Will Always Be About What’s Best for the Company

I know I’ve painted a rather unpleasant picture here. But the truth is that these things do happen.

And we need to realise that no one is immune to it. Not me, and not YOU.

It is therefore important to ensure that you regularly remind yourself that YOU – and YOU ALONE – can truly determine how far you go in your career.

Avoid developing an entitlement mentality. No matter how long you serve. Instead, aim to deliver results that will prove you are worthy of the rewards or benefits you seek.

Keep the following TRUTH in mind at all times: For smart and successful employers, it will always be about what’s best for the company, and not just what you – or other employees – want!

NB: If you’re an employer, click here to learn how I can help you get the results you want from your employees. Here’s a French version of the aforementioned flyer (PDF).

 

My DN Travel News, Self-Development

Don’t Be a Professional Student: “Déplacer” Towards Your Goals As Often As Possible

Leave a comment

There are many dimensions of success. Being rich is one of them. But today, more people are increasingly recognising that riches alone are not enough to live a truly successful life.

Indeed some people – like the Dalai Lama – are so far evolved in their understanding of life, that their interest in material possessions is very limited. They often advise having enough to meet your needs, and using the rest to help others meet theirs.

Ultimately, It’s Cbout Living a Balanced Life.

That is the true essence of life: make the most of yourself, in a way that benefits others.

However, succeeding in the above mentioned manner still requires real world relevant competence. In other words, you must regularly acquire useful learning, and apply it to productive ends.

There is really no other way to make the most of yourself, and add value to others. You must learn more, and then do more, in order to become more, and thus be able to give more.

It’s a Simple Concept: But Some of Us Apply It Incorrectly (Due to Fear, Laziness etc)

The aspect people often get wrong is the doing bit. Many of us are so good at learning. It’s a habit we developed from our early schooling years. If you want to do well, take an extra subject or course. Go for another degree program. Get an MBA. And so on.

But here’s the problem. Ask yourself WHY you need to go back and learn more. What is the reason you need that additional bit of knowledge or “education” (if we can call it that)? If you cannot find a clear and definitive answer to that question, it’s quite likely that you’re doing it to avoid taking action.

In other words, you’re most probably scared of taking the next step – which will often be to go out into the real world, with all that new knowledge you have, and use it to get what you need. And what you need – probably badly too – could be a new or better job, new or better clients, and so on.

That’s Why Some People Succeed in Losing Weight & Others Don’t

This attitude denies many people success in different areas of their lives – even the financially successful. For instance we have rich people who are perpetually struggling with obesity.

They buy books and videos – and even attend workshops – by celebrity health and fitness gurus. But they never get around to actually doing what those experts recommend. At least not on a consistent enough basis to get sustainable results. Or maybe they do, and then relapse.

In other words, they get all this knowledge but fail to put it to productive, long term use. And that ultimately defeats the purpose for which they went out and got the knowledge in the first place! What’s more, it amounts to a significant waste of money, time and effort on their part. Not to talk of the disappointment their fitness coach, as well as loved ones and friends will experience.

Sometimes it’s a lack of self-discipline that makes people act this way – or just pure laziness.

Whatever may be the cause, it effectively keeps them from succeeding in that area of their lives. So they have money, but they lack health and wellness – and may have to spend a lot of that money repairing their health later on in life (e.g. heart related problems often associated with obesity may develop).

It’s Also Why Some Entrepreneurs Make Progress, and Others Don’t

It’s funny. You would expect that a person who claims to have a “dream” of running his own business would be more diligent.

Sadly, the attitude of many towards applying themselves to get results in their business suggests otherwise. Some people attend seminars or workshops, and read books on starting up their businesses, but never really start anything worthwhile.

They just keep attending more seminars, reading more books, “start” to make more plans – but they never really begin. Oh, yes…and they talk more and more about why they cannot start yet too :-)

There are also those who manage to get started, but later learn from a book/seminar that they need to make some changes in order for their businesses to move to the next level.

However, instead of doing that, they keep procrastinating – and end up never achieving much.

It is the same thing for people in paid employment who desire career advancement, and so buy books about how to excel at work, but fail to apply what the learn to deliver improved workplace performances to attract promotions, bonuses etc.

Don’t Be a Professional Student: “Déplacer” As Often As Possible Towards Your Goals

Examples of people caught in the above “trap’ surround us. Anyone who behaves this way has become a PROFESSIONAL STUDENT!

That’s not a good title to have I tell you.

Those who take action to put what they learn to use in achieving their desired goals succeed.  That’s why some entrepreneurs’ businesses grow, while those run by others don’t. It’s also why some people succeed in dropping dress sizes by following the fitness expert’s instructions, and others don’t.

The French use an expression I like a lot. It’s “Déplacer” (pronounced “day plah say”) and it means “to move”. But I like to think of it as “displacing yourself”.

If you don’t achieve any movement (by displacing yourself from where you are NOW) towards the goal you claim to have, you will make no progress!

So, promise yourself that you’ll make sure you “Déplacer” as often as possible from today, towards your goals.

Every day, question yourself: Where am I now? Where was I last month? Last week? Yesterday? Have I become more? If YES, how much more? How much closer am I now to my goal?

When you do not “se déplacer”, you’re working towards becoming a professional student: Don’t let that happen to YOU!

There is a great deal of difference between having knowledge and applying it. The teacher asked. “What is Agriculture?” The pupil replied, “Agriculture is just like farming, but farming is doing it. – W.F. Weiherman