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You Can Agree to Disagree and Still LOVE (Tribute to my father at 80!)

Photo: My father – Ezekiel Oluwajimi (E.O) Solagbade – cuts his 80th birthday anniversary cake on Tuesday 4th Feb. 2014, with my mom (his wife for 43 years now). Dad is a Civil and Structural Engineer by profession. I absolutely LOVED the cake, because it was beautifully decorated to depict technical drawing tools he uses!

Dad & Mom Cutting the 80th Birthday Anniversary “Structural Engineering Cake!”

Close Up Photo - The cake is beautifully decorated to depict technical drawing tools Dad uses!

 

A little history: Before starting his consulting outfit, Dad supervised the construction of some major roads across the country, while with the Ministry of Works – in the 60’s. This meant he had to travel a lot – with my mother.

It was during one of those periods “on the road” that I was born, on 6th July 1970 in a place called New Bussa.

New Bussa used to be in Kwara State, but following the redefinition of state boundaries some years ago, it now falls into Niger State.

(NB: I still have my ORIGINAL birth certificate issued back then. The paper is all brown now, but still very legible.)

Deciding to Visit my “Place of Birth” During my NYSC Service Year (1992/93)

As a student, I’d always filled “New Bussa” in forms while trying to imagine what the place looked like. So, when the time came to go for my one year of mandatory service as a member of the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC), I wrote a letter requesting the NYSC directorate to send me to Niger state.

This was in 1992/93 (I’d completed my degree course at the University of Ibadan, in Oyo state, in 1992)

They were glad to approve my request since the scheme had always been intended to promote regional integration. Here was this Tayo Solagbade, Yoruba guy, asking to be posted to Niger state in the middle belt area of the country.

It was perfect…for them…and for me (or so I thought…LOL).

So I Got Deployed to Spend My Service Year in Niger State…In a REAL VILLAGE!

But my place of primary assignment, much as I’d hoped it would be, was NOT New Bussa.

Instead it was a remote Vatsa village (Yes, “THE late”General Vatsa’s village), on the outskirts of the state.

At the time, they were NOT connected to the National Grid!

For a guy raised in the city, this would turn out to be a perfect introduction to REAL village life…and I fell in LOVE with it!

Newspapers typically arrived 3 days late. Yep. And they didn’t always come…LOL!.

Plus, if you were still there by 5 to 6p.m, you would most likely NOT find any commercial transportation to leave…till the next day!

Sitting Out The June 12 Presidential Election Riots

You may recall the June 12 crisis happened during that service year(?)

Well, 4 fellow NYSC members and I were stuck in that village all through that crisis period!

We only heard the little news that filtered in about the elections and the riots that followed.

Then, we began to see lorries carrying the belongings of Igbos who were fleeing from their Northern bases back to their homes in the East.

The Niger State NYSC director would later come around to visit us.

I recall him telling us we were safer where we were(in the village), than we would be if we tried making it back to our various homes in the south.

Well, back then, it turned out he was right.

None of us got harrassed or disturbed by anyone.

We lived amongst the people – who were mostly farm-loving Gwaris.

I made many great friends amongs them – teachers, and students alike. We made friends with Mohammed Vatsa…the late general’s son.

He was the ONLY person (if I recall correctly) who owned a generator (albeit small – the “I pass my neighbour” type) in the entire village at the time. So we used to spend time with him watching films…poor Corpers we were…LOL!

Demonstration of REAL LOVE from a father!

However, I tell this story to paint a picture of what life was like back then, for youth corpers.

Danger was certainly not something that bothered us.

Unlike today when serving outside your region can pose real dangers – for you…sadly.

During that June 12 crisis, my father kept sending messages through a cousin of ours who owned/ran his business in Abuja (Gwagwalada was just about one hour’s drive from the village).

His Experience of the Kano riots in his younger days, made him believe I was in danger. So he kept sending messages, refusing to accept my replies that I was safe and well, until I agreed to move into my cousin’s house in Abuja.

I stayed there for about 2 weeks.

My Dad scolded me when he finally got to speak with me on the phone.

He said “Look anything can happen. You need to take precautions and protect yourself from danger.”

We all (i.e. my siblings and I) enjoyed such protective gestures from him (and my mother).

Nothing compares to it!

Dad & Mom, flanked by me &my wife (of 14 years -Nkechi)...ehm & one more person...lol

Final Words: We (i.e. Dad and I) Do NOT, of Course, Get Along All The Time…

That’s a fact of life.

No two people ever do.

We’ll always have our differences!

Indeed there was a time when Dad and I argued – sometimes quarrelled(!)- quite a bit 😉

But even those interactions have made me better as a person.

I’ve learnt to appreciate that people will periodically hold divergent, uncompromising views from mine…and to be OKAY with it.

The truth is we CAN always agree to disagree!

Here’s wishing my SUPER DAD, many more prosperous years filled with joy, good health, happiness, and MORE grandchildren!!!!

Dad, Mom, and grandchildren (my kids)

PS: In next Friday’s post on parenting, I’ll share a story about how he found out I was secretly keeping a baby turtle in our home – and gave me a thorough thrashing…LOL!

Dad and Mom...with ‘Tomi - my sister and her husband, Ayo.

 

Dad & Mom.with Tutu , my sister who came in from the UK to represent her family. Her husband (Segun) & kids could not make it, due to work /school

 

Dad & Mom. + entire family...my brothers Victor(beside Ngozi - wife) & Femi (behind Peju - wife)

 

 

 

Dad and Mom...with Victor - my brother, and his wife, Ngozi

 

Dad and Mom...with Femi - my brother, and his wife, Peju


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