Self-Devpt. Nuggets™

How would YOU deal with a FALSE ACCUSATION if it’s leveled against YOU? If you think it can’t happen, you need to read THIS article!

“All my life, I have been taught to take the high road, and never to dignify salacious or false accusations. And I have been taught never, never to lie. Not only do I never lie, I never respond to lies, no matter how vicious, no matter how hurtful. ~Paula Abdul

In this article, I explain why we all need to STOP and THINK CAREFULLY when we hear of someone getting PUBLICLY accused of doing any kind of wrong – before passing judgement!

There may be more than meets the eye going on. And if you’re not careful, you could get USED to do evil…and one day, it may come right back at YOU!

I’ve told my kids how a female primary school classmate falsely accused me of peeping at her in the girls room.

That story appears in my new parenting book – Kukuru Danger™ (you can get a FREE PDF chapter preview here). Each of my kids will get a physical copy as a gift, to remind them of what can happen…to even the innocent!

We’ve talked about it several times – me and my 3 boys (15, 13, and 11 years old), and I’ve also discussed it with my 8 year old daughter.

The boys I asked: What would you do if a girl accused you in that manner of doing something you did not do?

It was all fun and laughter, as they tried to give answers. But I did my best to impress upon them the fact that stuff like that happens all the time. And that’s why I wrote my story book – Kukuru Danger™ – to share my experiences and guide them as best as I can.

This aspect of false accusations being leveled against an innocent person is one that really strikes me as having the most devastating potential of all.

It seems as the quality of THINKING in larger society is dropping –partly due to less preference for self-improvement – fewer people are capable of critical thinking.

Now, many people don’t immediately realize that the above has far reaching implications. So I’ve formed a habit of pointing out some of them.

1. When people are too lazy or distracted to do critical thinking, most lame ideas proposed to them will either get accepted or ignored.

Either way, they will not engage in conscious, deep seated examination of issues that occur. As a result, others with manipulative intent will find it easy to exploit their shallowness and naivety, to do naughty things.

The above is why it is so easy today for someone to discredit another person simply by coming forward to make unsubstantiated allegations.

Even if afterwards, nothing is found to incriminate the person wrongfully accused, many people go on thinking “well there’s no smoke without fire”. Maybe s/he was so smart that they could not find evidence to pin it on him/her.

2. Taking it further, and again this does happen, a person with ulterior motives, who sees another person as a potential rival threatening his/her ambitions, may decide to launch a campaign of calumny against the latter.

For instance, people have been known to pay individuals and/or groups, to publicly make false allegations against a rival, so as to drum up public outrage.

In the process, the “rival” often gets discredited, or at least some doubts are raised over his/her credibility.

What is most shocking is the fact that PERMANENT damage can be done to another person’s reputation – SO EASILY today!

…by someone, from virtually anywhere, choosing to come out and say s/he did (or did NOT do) something!

It seems to rarely matter whether the accuser is lying or not. Most people today seem not to be too keen to consider that possibility. This is often so when the “news” is disseminated gleefully by the mass media, or via some powerful or connected person(s) or organization.

In other words, if you want to take a stand on an issue that could pit you against a powerful person, or someone with media links, you could end up getting badly burnt, image wise.

Indeed, if you’re not careful, you could end up serving some punishment e.g. a fine or worse, jail time…and STILL be innocent. History offers useful examples!

I ask: Why is it so easy for these kinds of extreme injustices to happen?

1. Why are those who make all sorts of false accusations that literally destroy the lives of others allowed to do so, and to get away with it?

2. And why is it that even after the truth is discovered, the same people who publicized the lies, do not circulate the truth with the same zeal?

More importantly, I ask the reader to consider the following questions:

1. Do you consider yourself safe from this pandemic of false accusations?

Especially in this day and age when unscrupulous news channels grant audience to those willing to narrate outrageous accounts of phony incidents, to reap financial and other benefits?

2. Do you realize that there was a time when journalists did proper investigation to ascertain the veracity of claims made by those who offered them news? Are you aware that very little of that happens anymore?

3. Does it bother you AT ALL you that an excellent role model in society, who paved the way for others to achieve success, can end up having his/her name discredited via false allegations?

Can you imagine what it must feel like to be the spouse, child, grandchild, brother, sister or parent to such an individual?

Do you know how much pain will be inflicted on multiple souls related to him/her, every time those false allegations are made the subject of the court of public opinion?

The embarrassment and humiliation of bearing the same name with someone who previously one was proud to be related to!

And yet, not because s/he did wrong. But because a mean spirited few chose to discredit him/her for their own gain or out of envy…or both!

More questions for the reader…

1. Have YOU ever played a part in any of the above described incidents?

What did you say, or do? Were you willing to examine the facts, if any were provided, objectively, before coming to a conclusion?

And if no compelling facts or evidence were provided, did you have the courage to point that out, and demand that something be done?

2. Lastly, has it ever occurred to you that whether or not you partake in any such acts as I’ve described above, YOU, and/or YOUR loved ones could also be on the receiving end some day?

All it takes is for one of such mean spirited persons to identify any of you as a target…and before you know it, your lives could take a dramatic turn for the worse!

Now, you could argue that you’re not a celebrity orpublic figure and that they are the ones who often get treated that way.

But consider the REAL possibility that as YOU/YOUR kid or loved one climb the ladder of success/fame, or even after you “arrive”, some person(s) can decide to do that to any of you?!

Did I get your attention there? Hmmm!

Well, chew on that over the weekend…

Then in the new week, I hope you emerge with a resolve to NOT let false accusers get an easy ride wherever you are, if you have a say. By the time we begin to resist their advances, fewer will be able to boldly come out and do their evil at the expense of the lives of others.

These people make a living from destroying what others spend decades of their lives building.

And majority of others in society just stand by and let them. You don’t have to take sides – just seek the truth. Don’t let them win you over with ridiculous claims that lack substance!

I’m saying all this because I have experienced what it feels like to be falsely accused – more than once too!

Luckily for me though, I always had persons guided by the creator to help me.

The first time, as I said earlier, I was 8 years old. So you could say it was not so serious.

The second instance occurred over 2 years ago…and it was dead serious!

As a custom spreadsheet software developer, I had a client (who proudly displayed a picture of himself standing next to a former Vice President of Nigeria on his office wall) make false accusations against me to the police.

Not just him – he also got his accountant and manager to do the same thing!

I was shocked to my bones to see/hear those 2 employees of his, who I’d often chatted with while working on the project bold facedly saying I’d done things I never did.

It was bizarre, as if they were drugged. In truth however, the ONLY “drug” influencing them was a FEAR of losing their jobs…LOL!

Their boss – the client – wanted me to resolve a problem they had using the software  – but he bluntly refused  to pay my overdue balance which I’d been requesting for over 2 months, after handing over.

I stood my ground, and told the Divisional Police Officer (DPO) why.

The latter (a graduate of Nigeria’s University of Ibadan!) proved to be a rare man of integrity, gifted with excellent skills of persuasion.

That same day, he got the client to pay me my balance soon as I was done.

The same client and his staff went on to use that software for SIX solid years (paying me several times a year to provide call out support).

Then at the tail end of the 6th year, he paid me twice what he paid 6 years before (all of it 100% up front), to add a billing system to the app – only to repeat the same thing later on during the test run phase.

Long story short, I got TIRED of being treated that way, and today (with the help of the Attorney General’s office) we’ve parted ways.

But I kept copies of all our correspondence, as proof of all that transpired. Just in case.

I’ve shared that client’s story with my kids as well.

That experience was however the one that broke the camel’s back for me. I decided I NEEDED to better protect myself from such abuse.

It subsequently occurred to me that I needed to FREE myself from exposure to exploitation or situations that could lead to false accusations being leveled against me. This led me to focus more on providing online products and services.

Today, less than 20% of the income I earn comes from working directly with clients. That’s why I’ m so HAPPY and FULFILLED, working as a Location Independent Multipreneur – the photo below says it all!

Today’s world is full of mean spirited people, who will stop at nothing to have their way – even if it means harming others.

Those of us who are connected with our Creator MUST ensure we remain a LIGHT for others to follow.

We must continue to be the conscience of our respective societies. And we must prepare our offspring to do the same thing.

We are the hope of the world.

We are the ones who can HEAL it.

If we fail, society is doomed!

I hope you will join me.

PS: In the event that it does happen, hold on to the faith you have in the creator, and let these wise words of Paula Abdul guide you in dealing with ANY false accusations that may come your way…

“All my life, I have been taught to take the high road, and never to dignify salacious or false accusations. And I have been taught never, never to lie. Not only do I never lie, I never respond to lies, no matter how vicious, no matter how hurtful. ~Paula Abdul