The Real Reason Marriages Fail [Hint: Ideas You Can Use to Evaluate Your Relationship]

“If true love really exists between a couple, no change in the financial, physical or other circumstances of either or both parties in the union will EVER make them change the way they FEEL about being together, talk less of their even contemplating separation, or worse – divorce. True love knows no limits – and deep down all couples know it. But not all partners are prepared to practice it – and that’s the real reason marriages fail.” – Tayo K. Solagbade

Most people will not admit this, but the major reason couples split when the woman earns more than the man is that the relationship was – in the first place – NEVER based on UNCONDITIONAL love symbolized in the vows they took at their wedding!

You simply cannot vow before God and men/women that you’ve left your parents to become ONE with your spouse, till death do you part, only to later break up because of money related conflicts!

When 2 people become ONE, what belongs to one should automatically belong to the other – regardless of the gender of the owner!

Only a lack of true love will make the above difficult for any couple to do.

Sadly what happens is that sometimes one person is willing, because s/he really loves the other, but the other partner may not be ready to reciprocate mainly because s/he is not prepared to give that much..

And where both parties start out ready to live that way, in true, unconditional love and harmony, if they fail to tune out busy body friends or relatives (who may say stuff like “Chai see how s/he is using you”) seeds of discord may end up being sown in their minds, leading to breakdown of that ONE mind they share!

If truth be told therefore, not everyone is ready for marriage – and money is often a major factor (I said that much in this article – click to read).

Indeed historical evidence continues to show, quite clearly too, that money, especially in terms of the amount it occurs, can seriously test any marital union.

When it’s not enough, it can pose problems (e.g. couple may bicker over domestic expenses, child care etc).

But when money is abundant, new problems can arise (e.g. higher earning husband starts keeping mistresses, or the wife starts talking down to the lesser earning husband etc).

It is therefore my considered opinion that any couple that has not gone through challenges posed by a lack of money for one or both parties in the relationship, cannot be sure that what they share is real, and unconditional…or that they are both truly ONE!

Since we cannot ask people to go and become poor to test their unions, I offer a few ideas to those who may seek insights below.

In my 2006 article linked below, I discussed the question:

Can lack of money put your marriage asunder?

Click:

Is Your Level Of Self-Confidence Directly Proportional To The Size Of Your Bank Account?

Final Words

To reinforce the ideas I propose in the above linked article, I will end by saying the following:

You will need to do a careful study of yourself and your partner, to establish the basis of your relationship. That will equip you to know what potential damage a lack of money can do to what you both currently share.

Then you will be able to take needed steps to safeguard your union.

For instance, if your honest analysis reveals your spouse will love you less, if you have less money, then you will by all means want to ensure you do not lose your job, fail in business etc

I would however add that you need to realize and accept that the creator’s plans for you may include your having such “painful’ experiences, and the right partner for you will ideally choose to stand with you right till the end.

Marriage is Not for Everyone [You Don’t Have to Get Married to Prove You’re Normal]