Tag Archives: THE FARM CEO

[The FARM CEO] JOKES: Enjoy this Compilation of Farm Jokes to Relieve Stress

Like I did with this week’s issue of the Excel Heaven newsletter  in which I featured MS Excel Jokes (Hey…“All work and no play makes Sule a dull boy and Sikira a boring gal!”) here’s a compilation of “farm jokes” to get you laughing…

1. The Yam Farm

jokes-yam-farm
https://www.wattpad.com/5134766-jokes-stories-from-africa-the-yam-farm

2. The Elevator

jokes-elevator-farm

http://amedja.tripod.com/jokes.html

3. The Farmer’s Missing Dog

jokes-missing-dog-farmer
http://farmingforum.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?11-Farming-joke-of-the-day

Protected: THE FARM CEO (Issue 68): Innovative feed formulation methods reduce feed cost, Practical Ideas to Address High Feed and Production Costs, Developments in the Indian feed and poultry industry and formulation of rations based on local resources – Dr.V.Balakrishnan, Opportunities to improve feeding precision and reduce costs with the latest NIR technology to be presented at Bangkok conference

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THE FARM CEO (Issue 67): A BOPMS™ Will Enable You Run Your Farm Business Profitably Even When You’re Away!, To Succeed, Your Farm Does Not Just Need a Software – It Needs a BOPMS!, Your Business Should Free You, Not Restrict You

Over the past 2 weeks I have made more sales of my Excel-VB Ration Formulator, Feed Formulation Handbook and Excel-VB Poultry Farm Manager, to Farm CEOs  – 2 within Nigeria and one outside (specifically Uganda via Western Union).

mojeed-pfm

shisia-ug-pfm

Aside from those who have made purchases I have had some call me to make enquiries. For all of them, I ALWAYS did the same thing – which was to challenge them to adopt a best practice mindset in running their farm operations.

Like I always tell them, I have a vision to help Farm CEOs engage best practice strategies to boost their farm output at less cost, using less effort and fewer resources, so they can retain more profits.

In line with that vision, I send them links to articles I’ve written on this best practice theme, as no-strings-attached gifts, regardless of whether they buy from me or not.

In this no-password issue of the Farm CEO newspaper, I offer previews of, and links to 3 of such articles, for your consideration. I hope you find them useful.

1. PII 020: A BOPMS™ Will Enable You Run Your Farm Business Profitably Even When You’re Away!

There is a saying that if you cannot be away from your business for fear of things not going right, that’s not a business – it’s a job.

Now, it is my considered opinion that if there is any kind of business that the owner needs to be able to get time away from, without fear of things going seriously wrong, it’s the farm business.

Why?

Because starting and running a farm business is a very demanding process, that requires investment of money, time, effort and resources by the owners and members of his/her team.

PII 020: A BOPMS™ Will Enable You Run Your Farm Business Profitably Even When You’re Away!

2. PII 015: To Succeed, Your Farm Does Not Just Need a Software – It Needs a BOPMS!

Below is a message I received from a Farm CEO few days ago, asking for a software solution:

“…I’m currently running a piggery business with no record keeping. At best, very poor and would love you developing a software that can help in terms of reporting, analysing and profitability including growth, effectiveness and efficiency.

I also have several colleagues needing same and it would be my pleasure leading them to you based on your productsdelivering my needs.

Let us explore this further please.”

I’ve been getting requests like these more frequently in the recent past, indicating that more Farm CEOs are keen to adopt best practice management of their farm businesses.

PII 015 [TRUE STORY]: To Succeed, Your Farm Does Not Just Need a Software – It Needs a BOPMS!

3. Your Business Should Free You, Not Restrict You

If you own a business – with employees – that won’t make money/do well unless you’re there, what you have is NOT a business, but a job! This article offers guidance to help you get maximum value from your business – even when you’re not physically present. Indeed if you do it right, you’ll develop a system that actually lets you stay away from your business, and return to find it doing just as well as (if not better than) you left it.

As an extension professional, my aim is to provide farm business owners with useful information and education, to guide them in daily running of their farms. Especially in the routine planning and decision making they have to do. In certain cases, I develop resources to enhance their ability to do what they do better.

Your Business Should Free You, Not Restrict You

 

Protected: THE FARM CEO (Issue 41): Farmers – and Suppliers – Contact Details, Maize Daily Prices/Charts & Data, Climate-smart agriculture, Using text messaging to train fish farmers

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THE FARM CEO (Issue 33): 13 Year Old Boy’s Invention Solves Key African Agricultural Problem, Agricultural innovations can help African farmers compete, boost food security, From Invention to Innovation in African Agriculture, Africa innovations: 15 ideas helping to transform a continent, Agriculture is a new critical market force

[Tagline: If it can help your farm business, you’ll find it in THE FARM CEO™ Newspaper ]

In this third issue for this year (2016), all five reports/articles showcased are from third party websites on the theme of “Innovation in African Agriculture”.

I believe too little attention has been paid so far to the role that innovation, driven by indigenous individuals and groups can play in taking African farming to the next level and beyond.

The articles showcased here offer insights into efforts being made in certain African markets to do a better job of bringing useful innovations into the spotlight and adapting them for profitable application in relevant enterprises.

We need to keep in mind the fact that ideas, simple as they are, and often costing little or nothing, can lead to massive positive changes in the fortunes of our business enterprises.

Considering that farm businesses generally tend to struggle with relatively low profit margins, it goes without saying that adopting innovative thinking in doing our farming will be the crucial key to making out businesses more successful in terms of profits made as well as time, effort and money expended.

The story of the simple innovative idea used by the Kenyan teenager featured on this page provides an excellent example of what ideas can do if properly harnessed. It’s time for farm business owners in 21st century Africa to begin investing some of their quality time into THINKING up new and better ways to do what they do.

Hopefully, for those of you who are subscribers to The Farm CEO™, this issue’s 5 reports will give you a few pointers/inspiration.

PREVIEW

Richard Turere’s Lion Light system is made out of LED bulbs and a car battery to prevent lions from eating livestock.

By Daniela Walker – 1 march 2013

The Nairobi National Park lays four miles south of Kenya’s capital city, with just one fence keeping wild animals away from humans. This makes for a lot of human-animal conflict, especially between lions and cattle farmers.

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Here are the headlines, reviews – and links – for this week’s featured news items:

[URL] 13 Year Old Boy’s Invention Solves Key African Agricultural Problem P.1

[URL] Agricultural innovations can help African farmers compete, boost food security P.2

[URL] From Invention to Innovation in African Agriculture P.2

[URL] Africa innovations: 15 ideas helping to transform a continent P.3

[URL] Agriculture is a new critical market force P.3

Below: Screenshot of the cover for Issue No. 33 of THE FARM CEO (Monday 18th January 2016)

Screenshot of the cover for Issue No. 33 of THE FARM CEO (Monday Monday 18th January 2016)

Subscribe to THE FARM CEO, and get this new issue, as well as ALL back issues, in addition to your full subscription of 48 weekly issues.

1) Useful feed formulation/other findings from trusted sources

2) Cost-saving ideas from farm visits as I travel across West Africa.

3) Ads by farm providers/suppliers of all genres.

4). Special promo price offers of my Software and Book products

Full details at http://tinyurl.com/TheFarmCEO

1 year’s subscription = 48 issues.

Subscription Fee = $36 USD (approx) N6.8k [You get my $82 USD Feed Formulation Handbook FREE, as well as FREE Bi-weekly ads for YOUR biz]

ARCHIVES: Click here to view previews of ALL past issues of the newspapers

 

THE FARM CEO (Issue 30): Ponds — Planning, Design, Construction, How to Construct a Semi-intensive Pond for Aquaculture, Africa’s agriculture needs young blood, says report, Basics of Raising Tilapia & Implementing Aquaculture Projects, China’s role in African agriculture

[Tagline: If it can help your farm business, you’ll find it in THE FARM CEO™ Newspaper ]

This final issue of The Farm CEO™ for 2015 features 2 news reports about the development and future of Agriculture in Africa – with regard to the crucial role to be played by African youths.

I personally believe that citizens of Africa nations will have to take the initiative to get involved in Agriculture, rather than wait for any concerted efforts from the government. This is not to say that the government cannot deliver. I just believe the drive to engage in Agriculture must come primarily from the people.

We must demonstrate more interest in exploring the income earning opportunities available in direct farm business operation and other aspects of the industry such as processing and marketing.

A good example of an industry doing well, and being driven by the initiative of individual citizens at mostly the micro to small scale level if the PC, Mobile and Internet technology industry.

Very little of the growth we’ve seen has come from direct government action. Most of it has happened because people saw opportunities and chose to go after them. It is my considered opinion that those of us already engaged in agriculture at various levels are best positioned to SHOW the youths and others, that similar opportunities exist in this industry. If we do it right, they WILL come on board, and then maybe the government’s efforts can do them some good from that point on.

Happy holidays and I wish you a prosperous New Year!

PREVIEW

This handbook describes the requirements for building a pond. It is useful to the landowner for general information and serves as a reference for the engineer, technician, and contractor..

==Preview Ends==

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Here are the headlines, reviews – and links – for this week’s featured news items:

[URL] Back Good Quality Website Content With Delivery of Value Promised, to Achieve Web Marketing Success P.1

[PDF] Online Strategies for Direct Farm Marketers P.2

[URL] 5 Farmer’s Market Marketing Ideas P.2

[PDF] 101 Guerilla Marketing Ideas: Grow Sales with Zero Budget P.3

[PDF] Agricultural Entrepreneurship Coaching Guide P.3

Below: Screenshot of the cover for Issue No. 30 of THE FARM CEO (Monday 28th December 2015)

Screenshot of the cover for Issue No. 30 of THE FARM CEO (Monday 28th December 2015)

Subscribe to THE FARM CEO, and get this new issue, as well as ALL back issues, in addition to your full subscription of 48 weekly issues.

1) Useful feed formulation/other findings from trusted sources

2) Cost-saving ideas from farm visits as I travel across West Africa.

3) Ads by farm providers/suppliers of all genres.

4). Special promo price offers of my Software and Book products

Full details at http://tinyurl.com/TheFarmCEO

1 year’s subscription = 48 issues.

Subscription Fee = $36 USD (approx) N6.8k [You get my $82 USD Feed Formulation Handbook FREE, as well as FREE Bi-weekly ads for YOUR biz]

ARCHIVES: Click here to view previews of ALL past issues of the newspapers

 

THE FARM CEO (Issue 16): Made in Africa Talking Cars, Animal Reproduction Boosting Extracts & Incubators by a Church Leader?!, World’s 1st Fish Farm in Shipping Container: A South African Invention, New Innovations to Reduce Harvest Loss, Aquapod System That Can Enable MARINE Fish Farming by Africans?, Kenyan Invention: Egg Monitoring Kit to Check Egg Fertility/Assess Incubation Progress

[Tagline: If it can help your farm business, you’ll find it in THE FARM CEO™ Newspaper ]

Preview (Issue No. 16):

Multi Award Winning West African innovator makes modern talking cars with 100% locally made engine blocks/parts; TVs controlled by clapping, plant extracts that boost livestock reproduction 4 times over & over 100 more.

Featured on BBC, Agence France, Aljazeera. Watch for details in this new issue of the Farm CEO newspaper…!

Here are the headlines, reviews – and links – for this week’s featured news items:

[URL] Made in Africa Talking Cars, Animal Reproduction Boosting Extracts &  Incubators by a Church Leader?! P.1

[URL] World’s 1st Fish Farm in Shipping Container: A South African Invention P.2

[URL] New Innovations to Reduce Harvest Loss P.2

[VIDEO] Aquapod System That Can Enable MARINE Fish Farming by Africans?  P.3

[URL] Kenyan Invention: Egg Monitoring Kit to Check Egg Fertility/Assess Incubation Progress P.3

Below: Screenshot of the cover for Issue No. 16 of THE FARM CEO (Monday 21st September 2015)

Screenshot of the cover for Issue No. 16 of THE FARM CEO (Monday 21st September 2015)

Subscribe to THE FARM CEO, and get this new issue, as well as ALL back issues, in addition to your full subscription of 48 weekly issues.

1) Useful feed formulation/other findings from trusted sources

2) Cost-saving ideas from farm visits as I travel across West Africa.

3) Ads by farm providers/suppliers of all genres.

4). Special promo price offers of my Software and Book products

Full details at http://tinyurl.com/TheFarmCEO

1 year’s subscription = 48 issues.

Subscription Fee = $36 USD (approx) N6.8k [You get my $82 USD Feed Formulation Handbook FREE, as well as FREE Bi-weekly ads for YOUR biz]

ARCHIVES: Click here to view previews of ALL past issues of the newspapers

THE FARM CEO (Issue 09): Can “Pay As You Go Solar Lights” Save Your Farm Money?, Generate Electricity, Cooking Gas from Your Farm Animals’ Waste (Cow, Poultry etc), Potential Role of Medicinal Plants In YOUR Farm’s Waste Treatment, What Is Anaerobic Digestion?, Producing Local Fertilizers For Crops & Ponds From Biowastes

This ninth (9th) issue of THE FARM CEO newspaper features my reviews of, and links to:

[URL] Can “Pay As You Go Solar Lights” Save Your Farm Money? P.1

[URL] Generate Electricity, Cooking Gas from Your Farm Animals’ Waste (Cow, Poultry etc) P.2

[PDF] Potential Role of Medicinal Plants In YOUR Farm’s Waste Treatment P.2

[URL] What Is Anaerobic Digestion? P.3

[PDF] Producing Local Fertilizers For Crops & Ponds From Biowastes P.3

 

Below: Screenshot of the cover for Issue No. 09 of THE FARM CEO (Monday 3rd August 2015)

Screenshot of the cover for Issue No. 09 of THE FARM CEO (Monday 3rd August 2015)

ARCHIVES: Click here to view previews of ALL past issues of the newspapers

Subscribe to THE FARM CEO, and get this new issue 06, as well as ALL back issues, in addition to your full subscription of 48 weekly issues.

1) Useful feed formulation/other findings from trusted sources

2) Cost-saving ideas from farm visits as I travel across West Africa.

3) Ads by farm providers/suppliers of all genres.

4). Special promo price offers of my Software and Book products

Full details at http://tinyurl.com/TheFarmCEO

1 year’s subscription = 48 issues.

Subscription Fee = $36 USD (approx) N6.8k [You get my $82 USD Feed Formulation Handbook FREE, as well as FREE Bi-weekly ads for YOUR biz]