Question: WHO SHOULD READ THIS PDF REPORT?

Answer: Persons who run (or work with) agencies providing support to victims of Domestic Violence.

On 20^th September 2018, I prepared and began emailing download links for this IDEAS document to agencies providing support to victims of Domestic Violence.

My decision to do this stemmed from my participation as a panelist at the 2018 Symposium to commemorate the Domestic Violence Awareness Month (organized by the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team – DSVRT) where I spoke as an invited panelist on “The culture of silence as it negatively affects male victims“.

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Tayo Solagbade’s
Performance Improvement IDEAS
(PI Squared) Newsletter

Monday 1st October 2018

NB: This PI Squared newsletter will be published weekly, on Mondays, in place of the Speaking/Web Marketing IDEAS newsletter, starting from today – 15th February 2016. I’m reinventing my Monday newsletter content and theme, to accommodate my vision of serving the growing audience of serious minded individuals and organizations reaching out to me, with information, education. news and research findings designed to help them do what they do better.

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PII 136: [DVAM] How to Identify & Stop Domestic Violence [Key Combination of Approaches to Create Massive Awareness In Society]

Question: WHO SHOULD READ THIS PDF REPORT?

Answer: Persons who run (or work with) agencies providing support to victims of Domestic Violence.

On 20^th September 2018, I prepared and began emailing download links for this IDEAS document to agencies providing support to victims of Domestic Violence.

My decision to do this stemmed from my participation as a panelist at the 2018 Symposium to commemorate the Domestic Violence Awareness Month (organized by the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team – DSVRT) where I spoke as an invited panelist on “The culture of silence as it negatively affects male victims“.

The various real life case studies that were described by the guest lecturer (Prof. Badru) and other contributors reinforced my conviction that massive awareness about DV and how victims can get help fast needed to be created.

But what really hit home with me the most, was the point made by the moderator for our panel, who noted, that not every person who needs help dealing with DV would find it easy or convenient to visit the DSVRT office at Alausa.

She therefore suggested that the possibility of opening offices in other strategic locations across the state may need to be looked at.

I felt she made a very valid point. However, I have always advocated exploring low to zero cost ways to getting things done, to maximize available funds. To me, the sustainability of the work being done by support agencies like the DSVRT depends on how well they use their budgets.

I therefore believe one must look for ways to do more without necessarily spending more (or at least not too much).

That’s why I did some thinking and came up with a mind map of ways I believe support agencies like yours can create a system that enables them help more people, who may not have immediate physical access to them.

An aspect of what I refer to includes challenging/encouraging DV victims to employ Self-Education, at least in the initial stages, till they can come to you, or other support providers.

I believe that there is a lot of that which can be done by individuals – both the abused, as well as those looking to help the abused persons.

It’s something that can enable victims find your agency online and also discover resources like the excellent article on DVAM by Toyin Omoniyi, the female Nigerian legal expert using the Twitter handle @TyLegal. Read the article at http://tayosolagbade.com/sdnuggets/domestic-violence-against-men-by-toyin-omoniyi-tylegal-nairaland-com-praiseworldradio-com/

It was the very first article I ever read on DVAM, and I found it entirely by accident.

It is my considered opinion that experts like Toyin can be engaged to contribute informative and educative pieces on various aspects of the DV problem, which agencies like yours can then offer via your website to persons looking for help.

You can offer educational and informative articles, videos, audios, reports, mind maps etc. Chances are good that most people who need help will have Internet connected phones or at least someone they know, who wishes to help them will.

This combination of approaches can make discovery of help resources for dealing with DV less due to luck and more predictable.

In line with my vision to draw attention to the serious need for better support to be given to male victims of DV, I will be doing my own bit in this regard, via www.tayosolagbade.com (my website) and www.facebook.com/stopdvambytks (my Facebook Advocacy page) – and also through my Stop Domestic Violence Against Men (Stop DVAM)/Best Practice Parenting (BPP) group on WhatsApp.

TIP: Text your WhatsApp Number via +234-803-302-1263 (not my WhatsApp no!) and I’ll add you. Members gain instant access to all my PDF reports, articles, facebook page and newsletter updates published in the past and new ones too. See examples at www.tinyurl.com/dvamtalkmuson.

Note that I would gladly feature links to useful resources on this theme, published on websites owned by ANY support agency. We need to work together to make this work. If we do it right, people in societies we serve WILL become readily able to identify DV when it is happening to them or other persons, and they would know exactly where to go, what to do etc.

So, in the rest of this paper, I offer my suggestions – based on the Mind Map I created to provide an overview of my proposed approach…

1. Click here to download the PDF report
2. Click here to download the mind map on which the PDF report is based

 PS: Happy Independence Day celebrations!

Below: Related Articles

1. [DVAM] How Women Destroy Love (Why Men Fall Out of Love) – by Kara Oh, US based National Relationship Expert | FREE VIDEO Based Transcript Slideshow created by Tayo K. Solagbade for www.facebook.com/stopdvambytks

“Today I wanted to offer a lesson on how to castrate a man.

Em, you may wonder, why would you wanna do that?

Well, probably the primary reason would be to get him out of your life, because that is the best way to get rid of a man.” – Kara Oh

Click here to learn how you can view my Verbatim Performance Improvement Video Text Transcript Slideshow version of the wonderfully insightful video message by Kara Oh.

It’s aptly titled “How Women Destroy Love.”

2, [DVAM] VIRAL VIDEO > 1m Views – What It Really Means to Be a ‘Strong Woman’: Nigerian Woman Delivers Hard Hitting Message to Peers About Relationships [FREE Verbatim Transcript PowerPoint Slideshow created by Tayo K. Solagbade for www.facebook.com/stopdvambytks]

In this post I share a link to the transcript slideshow I’ve prepared of a VIRAL VIDEO that has been watched over 1million times!

It’s message is VERY relevant to the current times.

3. PII 134 – Ideas to Empower Women Without Emasculating Men [Five (5) Suggestions for women empowerment experts that may need to review domestic violence accusations while mediating between disputing couples]

We need to protect women from abuse and empower them to actualize their full potentials. However, we must not do this blindly. The needs and rights of men must also be protected. Reports indicate that some women do batter their male partners and know how to game the system to cover their tracks. This trend can – and should – be reversed, if worthwhile benefits are to be achieved.

In this report, I offer five (5) suggestions about what can be done, and how to stop wrong things happening to men, when we try to empower women.

Click here to download it now – no signup required.

4. PII 135: Neglecting Domestic Violence Victims Can Cause Serious Tragedies – True Stories [Highlights from my discussion of “The Culture of Silence as it negatively affects male Survivors.” at the 2018 SYMPOSIUM IN COMMEMORATION OF THE LAGOS STATE DOMESTIC AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH]

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Below: My description of what abusive women who inflict Domestic Violence (DV) on their male partners do, on my Facebook page…

A new generation of shrewdly manipulative and cunningly abusive women are using protective systems put in place by society to exploit males that are their intimate partners.

In other words, they are gaming the system and by so doing are making a mockery of the eFforts to stop domestic violence by exploiting stereotypes about males being the only perpetrators, to abuse their partners at will while readily adopting the accepted posture of “victim in self-defence” when their actions come under scrutiny.

What they do, they teach other women and their own daughters, who rarely know better. We need to fight and stop this trend. Our sons, brothers, fathers, uncles and other loved ones who belong to the male gender, remain at grave risk if we don’t.That’s why I’ve launched this page.

Hopefully, with time, others will acknowledge it happens, and begin to treat EACH case they handle on it’s own merit, rather than use harmful stereotypes and MALES being abusive while FEMALES are always the abused victim. The BAD women know this and use it to their advantage – making the men in their lives suffer needlessly. That must stop!

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CLICK HERE TO VISIT MY FACEBOOK ADVOCACY PAGE AND READ MORE ABOUT DVAM + HOW TO IDENTIFY/STOP IT

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