Preview: I want to tell you a story. A real-life experience that I had very, very recently. At the end, I simply ask YOU to be the judge as to what really happened.
It was a Friday morning. I had gone out with my 3 year old daughter to make a few purchases at the computer village. On my way back to the car, I ran into a gentleman who managed a financial institution I periodically visited(let’s call him "Triks").
We exchanged pleasantries for a while, then the following conversation ensued:
Publication: Tayo Solagbade’s Weekly Public Speaking IDEAS Page (PSIP)Newsletter
Date: Monday 22nd October 2012
No: 60
Title: Should Your Market Something You Won’t Deliver?
Author & Publisher: Tayo K. Solagbade [234-803-302-1263]
Blog URL: http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/blog
Archive (For E-mail only version started 14th May 2012): Click here to view
Archive (For Blog version started 24th September 2011): Click here
Hi,
Following last week’s hacker attack, I’ve decided to (for now) host the web version of this newsletter on the SD Nuggets blog, and link to it from the non-WordPress based Speaking IDEAS blog via a preview.
Please find below the latest issue of my weekly Public Speaking Ideas page for 2012.
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No. 60: Should Your Market Something You Won’t Deliver?
I want to tell you a story (names, location etc changed for privacy). A real-life experience that I had very, very recently. At the end, I simply ask YOU to be the judge as to what really happened.
It was a Friday morning. I had gone out with my 3 year old daughter to make a few purchases at the computer village. On my way back to the car, I ran into a gentleman who managed a financial institution I periodically visited (let’s call him "Triks").
We exchanged pleasantries, then the following conversation ensued:
Triks: You know I’ve been thinking of inviting you to an event for some time now, but it’s always skipped my mind. We have a business meeting male members of our church normally hold on Saturdays that I really want you to attend. You know we all need to network to take our businesses to the next level.
Me: You’re right about that. Where’s your meeting taking place?
Triks: Oh, it’s at the popular Ikeja guest house over on Allen Avenue. I’m sure you’ll know it.
Me: Yes, I do know it. (Then sensing the details were incomplete, I asked) Are you sure it’s just a business meeting? Or is it one of these Business Men’s Fellowship things that many church organisations out here often hold?
Triks: Well ( that was actually more like "weeellllll") yes it’s a Business Men’s Fellowship, but actually we meet for mostly business – very little religious stuff happens. It’s not a service or any kind.
Me: Are you sure about that?
Triks: Of course. You just come and you’ll see what I mean
Me: Okay. What time does it start?
Triks: It starts at 2pm prompt. We are very strict on time. And it ends 3 hours later, by 5pm
Me: Alright then, no problem. I’ll be there. (I switch my daughter who I’m carrying, to my left arm, so I can shake his hand with my right. Then I start to leave).
Triks: Just a moment. Let me give you an invitation card. He fills my name, email address and phone number on to a bottom section that he tears off for himself. Then he hands me the upper part which has the venue address, and date/time printed on it.
Business Men’s Meeting Becomes Business Men’s Religious Service
The event day arrives, and as is my usual habit, I pick on one of my sons to go out with me, just to see what my world is like. This time, it’s my second son, E. We arrive at the guest house venue at 2.05pm.
Right at the double doors, a well dressed young man is seated behind a desk. He smiles warmly at us and pushes a form across the table for me to fill. After that he hands my son a gift pen, and offers me one as well. I politely assure him the one for my son will do for us both.
We are ushered into the meeting room, which has seats that I quickly estimate would take about 30 to 40 persons. As we take our seats close to the front of the room, I note the time is 2.15 p.m.
A casual look around the room indicates that Triks, who invited me, is yet to arrive. But I soon realize there’s something to while away the time with, as a young pretty lady with an amazingly powerful voice begins singing song after song (church type), accompanied by a pianist/vocal support chap.
Time flies by quickly – thanks to the excellent singing by the duo mentioned above. When check again, it’s 3.05p.m!
I decide it may be time to leave, because no serious business meeting could be that delayed without any formal announcement. All I had seen from our arrival was some strange obsession by most of the few people present (including some officers) to take photos of us as we registered, and then as we sat down. Not just of us – but we got a decent share. And that had me wondering for a bit…
So, I whisper for E to follow me, as I get up and walk briskly towards the door. Out of the corner of my right eye, I see a figure quickly approach, and tap me on the shoulder. It’s Triks.
Me: Oh, so you’re here at last.
Triks: Yes, I’m sorry I came late. Something came up last minute. We’ve not started the meeting because we’re actually waiting for the pastor…
(As he spoke, I could not help wondering what the pastor’s absence had to do with starting a supposed "business meeting" organized for members of his church. And then again there was the issue of a total disregard for time keeping by either him or the meeting planners or both. We were over 1 hour behind schedule – judging from the start time printed on the card I was given and NOT ONE WORD had been said about it!).
Me: You told me the meeting would start at 2 pm, and now it’s after 3 pm and nothing.
Triks: Well actually, we start at 3 pm. We only print the 2pm on the card to provide time for the musical interlude etc, and allow people to get here.
(Even as he said this, the seats were far from half filled, and members were still trickling in. If anyone was concerned about keeping to time, they certainly were not showing it! "What manner of business men are these exactly?" I asked myself)
Me: Look, I came because I gave you my word, and did not want to break a promise. But I’ve actually had a long day, and really need to get back home for some rest. Your meeting looks like it’s running late, and I don’t think I can wait anymore.
Triks: No, no, no! Please wait. I’m sure we’ll start soon. Sorry about the delay.
Me: Okay, let’s wait another 30 minutes. (By this time it’s already 3.30pm – 1.5 hours lost!)
As I return to my seat with my son, I notice heads turned in our direction, with people nodding politely at us in greeting. I respond accordingly, and we finally get seated again.
Thankfully, a flurry of activities commences, ending with a plump looking middle aged man stepping up in front of the room. The first confirmation of my suspicion that the event may not be what I think it is comes when he raises a massive looking Bible in his hands and shouts "Men, praise the Lord!"
Ten minutes later, I’m wondering to myself "Where did the business meeting go?" – because I discover I’m in the middle of some kind of fellowship pre-Sunday sermon delivery. In fact the closest thing to business I noticed anyone had with them were Ipads – but even those featured electronic bibles and not business related stuff.
It’s Time To Leave
Turning to E, I ask "Does this look to you like a business meeting?"
He replies "No."
"Let’s go", I tell him, and we once again head for the door. Not surprisingly, Triks is seated right at the exit (or for my purposes, "the escape"…lol!).
Triks: Oh, you’re leaving. Well I know you’re tired as you’ve said. So you need to take a rest. Thanks for coming in all the same.
Me: Yes, I really do need to get that rest. But the main reason I have to leave is that you told me this was to be a business meeting, Triks. What I see happening is a sermon or fellowship of some sort!
Triks: Yes. Actually we always start with this kind of quick service and then towards the tail end there is a short session on business.
Me: Oh, really. Well I guess I’m going to have to miss that then. Maybe another time.
We smile, shake hands and separate.
Trickery Kills Trust!
Now, like I promised at the start of this piece, let me ask: what is YOUR impression of what happened? Do you think that Triks was sincere, candid, direct, open and honest in the way he got me to attend his event?
Did he give me an accurate picture of what the event was about? Or was he economical with some aspects of the truth, possibly to make me more willing to attend?
Whatever conclusions you draw, my main reason for sharing this story is to encourage the reader to act with honesty and integrity at all times.
This becomes even more important when you are a speaker marketing to prospective or potential clients.
Marketing and sales go together. You can have multiple products or services. But you need to focus on delivering the specific ones a potential buyer expresses interest in AFTER you’ve shown him ALL you have to offer for instance.
To me, that implies that if someone phones me for 2GB flash drives, and I only have 1 GB flash drives in my computer store available at that time, I should tell him THAT. And not tell him I have 2 GB flash drives that he needs, then when he arrives try to pressure him to buy them saying "It’s the same thing. You only need to use two instead of one to get 2GB capacity you need."
Why not let the intending buyer decide that? Why not tell him/her the truth so s/he can decide whether or not to buy what you have, or move on.
Why risk having someone resent you for using "trickery" or deception to waste his/her time???
As A Speaker, Deliver What You Promise
Which brings me to my message for this week. Let me ask you this question:When you market your products and services as a speaker, what do you PROMISE to deliver? And how does that compare to what you eventually deliver?
If you are profess to being a change management speaker, how much of your content/material delivers satisfactory change management education EXPECTED by your client’s audience. Do they leave your events wondering where all those promises went? Or do they emerge raving about how you exceeded their expectations?
I have attended an event where a speaker spent over 80% of the time quoting bible passages, instead of sharing quality experiences/insights about SPECIFIC steps he took to achieve success as an entrepreneur. And yet, the latter was what the event topic promised. Personally, I left that event feeling disappointed!
Here’s A Real Life Example Of How Not Meeting Expectations Can Cost You:
I will never forget how a former expatriate boss of mine told me to suspend a particular external training service provider. He had examined handouts the consultant gave out to the brewery engineering tradesmen on maintenance of pipes used for beer transfer, and he discovered the manual bore the name of the oil company it was originally prepared for!
Get this: Pipes used to transfer crude oil are COMPLETELY different from those used for beer (consumable beverages!) transfer.
For a consultant to promise to provide training for maintenance operatives in a food processing company, and then turn around to use training materials from a crude oil processing outfit was unpardonable. Ethically, and in any other sense. And it was a breach of trust that could not be over looked.
In an environment where merit and quality performance are valued, using trickery to market yourself will only hurt you in the long run. You will look bad, lose face, lose people’s trust – and ultimately lose relevance.
So, even when others seem to be getting away with it, don’t do it. You’ll build a rock-solid reputation of integrity that WILL eventually lead to multiple rewards later on, from those who appreciate it.
Final Words: The Need To Keep An Open Mind On Religion
Just in case anyone’s taken offence (though I doubt it), please sheath your swords. This is NOT an anti-religion piece. I simply use it to offer clarity of thought to those who may need it.
All who know me, and who read my writing, will likely know I am NOT religious. I do not attend church, mosque or any religious meetings in order to worship the creator. But despite that, I keep an open mind. I honour invitations when I can. But not to have myself "sold" on what to believe.
For decades since my third year in the university, when I stopped attending church (more on that in a future write-up), I have found keeping an open mind this way to be beneficial in many ways.
You learn so much more because you are not blinded by some baseless need to promote (or defend) your religion as being better or preferable to others. I mean, does God really need anyone to defend (or fight for) him. Really?? I doubt it.
A few years back, I attended an interesting anniversary programme organized by the Rosicrucian church (AMORC), at the Airport Hotel in Lagos. I was invited by a friend – AK – who had returned from the US with his Austrian wife. They had both told me about their interest in meditation, and other related spiritual stuff.
When AK discovered I was not a church-goer he began to refer to me as a "Seeker". And he would get books of all kinds on spirituality, astrology etc, for me to read and "discover truths". I did read them, but nothing I read swayed me enough to "join" their group in order to feel closer to the creator. I had established my own way of doing that many years ago, and only sought to improve on that method.
Proof of this is reflected in the confidence with which I readily entertain others who choose to engage me based on their beliefs. I never feel threatened or fear that they will "convince" me to go against my beliefs.
The only way that can happen to anyone is if you do NOT know or are not really convinced of what you believe. Once you have conviction, nothing that comes your way can shake you. You will handle ALL with ease.
Sometimes we’ll agree. Other times we won’t. In the latter case, we would simply agree to disagree 
Leaders like the Dalai Lama understand the need to maintain this kind of mind set. It’s therefore no surprise that they enjoy the respect, and followership, of millions of people worldwide who individually nurture wide ranging religious beliefs and preferences.
I refuse to accept that the creator needs a particular religious sales and marketing campaign to sell him to others. God is NOT for sale. And God does not practice or advocate a religion. All human beings are equal and the same before the creator. Your actions or inactions are not measured based on the religion group you belong.
This is an entirely spiritual process – not subject to human biases. It all happens between each human spirit and the creator’s. More people need to understand that THAT is why they must find their own way to connect with their maker.
Going around trying to trick others to join your movement will only make those who are well grounded in their own beliefs stop trusting you.
Let me end by paraphrasing the late Gani Fawehinmi based on what he once said about a certain contemporary leader:
Certain people have such a bad reputation for being deceptive, that when they say ‘Good Morning’ to you, it’s wiser to look out the window and check FIRST that it is really morning, BEFORE you respond to their greeting!
Comments?
What do you think of the above message? Do you have any personal experience to share on this subject? Are there some other points you feel can be added, to help persons looking for answers? Please share your thoughts – click here to post a comment on the blog!
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Have a lovely week!
Tayo K. Solagbade*
Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist
*Sole Agent For Burt Dubin’s Speaker Mentoring Service In Africa
Mobile: 234-803-302-1263
http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com
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