Category Archives: Self-Development

My DN Travel News, Parenting, Self-Development

Emancipate Your Thinking: Many Roads Lead to Authentic Success!

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Our persistent thoughts ultimately determine the outcome of our lives. This is a well known truth. It is for this reason that learning to control our thoughts is considered by successful people, to be a very important competence.

In many societies today, it appears fewer people are arriving adulthood with this ability. As a result, we’re witnessing, sadly too, poorer quality levels of individual accomplishment.

Too many people prefer to play safe by settling for “group thinking” i.e. aligning themselves with what the majority thinks. And this, even when they nurse strong contrary opinions or sentiments.

Let’s examine a typical situation in many societies (especially in my part of the world) that needs challenging.

Incidentally, Robert Kiyosaki – in his book “If You Want to Be Rich & Happy, Don’t Go to School?” – has already identified this problem.

Most young people are told by their parents that getting a good education is essential to succeeding in life.

Salawatu Abeni is a popular female musical artiste in Nigeria (in the traditional Yoruba Fuji genre).

Yet she barely finished her elementary schooling. Despite her poor educational background, she achieved significant success in her musical career. Expressing herself in English was however one area she lacked proficiency, Sometimes that presented a challenge if/when she had to communicate in that language.

At some point, Salawatu decided to enroll for private classes.

Some reports have it that she actually took a short course at the University of Lagos. Whatever she did, it worked, because whenever she spoke subsequently, one readily noticed marked improvements in her ability to express herself in English!

In effect, she’d gone about the business of getting “formal schooling” the other way round!

We have a saying in my language (Yoruba) actually justifies this approach

It goes thus:

“K’A RO ASO MO IDI, TABI K’A RO IDI MO ASO, KI’DI SAA MA PA OFO!”.

Translated literally, this phrase means:

“It doesn’t matter whether you tie a cloth around your waist or tie your waist around the cloth, so long as you don’t end up appearing naked in public!”.

Taken in context, it means: Salawatu went out and got successful using her skill as a singer, then returned to get an education using the money she had earned through her success.

Another good example many of us can relate to is the great Juju music exponent: King Sunny Ade.

A few decades back, interviewing him in English was not something he would have found agreeable. He had very limited competence in use of the language!

Today,  just as he does playing music, Sunny can hold his own before ANY audience in speaking English. How did he manage this? Simple. He got someone to provide practical coaching for him, till he achieved proficiency.

Since he was already making good money singing in his own language (Yoruba), he could afford to pay for the best available tutoring, and for as long as necessary.

How many people do you know, who blame lack of money for their inability to finish schooling?

I know too many like that!!

Maybe if they had been encouraged to use (or develop) their talents, skills or special knowledge to make a living from earlier on in life, they might have been able to do something like what Salawatu, and Sunny Ade did.

Many so-called “educated” people do not know how to make money by providing a service or product that others appreciate enough to pay money for.

Their schooling did not prepare them for that. Yet, this (traditional schooling) is the path they want their children to follow!

What is Education Anyway?

Napoleon Hill described an educated person as someone who applies the knowledge s/he acquires to productive purposes.

Many “formally schooled” persons do not do this.

And that’s why for instance, we find our graduates of mechanical or automobile engineering working in banks!

Even worse, many of these supposed “experts” of engineering will typically get their car engines serviced by roadside mechanics that have never even seen the four walls of a school!

This fact is underscored by the saying that “knowledge is NOT power – applied knowledge IS!”

Some parents discourage their children from trying to make money from early stages of their lives.

This is wrong.

I say this as a father of five kids. Two of them (boys) already earn periodic income by finding and selling metal items required by itinerant waste collectors. They also team up with their 14 year old elder brother, to make and sell my pineapple peel drinks in the school they attend.

Way back in 2002, when I started out in business, I vowed to educate my kids about money issues, and prepare to begin earning income before they clock ten.

The youngest of the three boys mentioned above will be eleven years old in July this year (2014).

Last week I bought him a complete set of electrician’s tools – multi-tester, pliers, soldering iron etc. And he’s already making use of them – having received some coaching from his visiting lesson teacher who happened to possess some useful knowledge on how to use them.

This youngest of my boys is headed for a technical training school. I’m sure of it!

There is no doubt in my mind that he will be best served by immediate exposure to practical training, based on what he already does in the house.

He figures things out for himself – and his mother readily passes faulty electrical devices to him to fix. Many times he succeeds. Rather than follow the crowd and push for him to attend the so called “university”, I know he needs to go to a technical college.

Until then, I’ll continue supporting him by providing practical tools, activities and experiences, to engage his creative energies. And he really loves it. You should see him put them to use at every opportunity. That alone tells me I’m doing the right thing!

The boys also have two sisters aged 4 and 8 respectively. I’m bidding my time with the girls, trying to study them and identify where their passions lie. It’s just a matter of time before I help them discover their own magnificent obsessions too.

The Earlier You Start, the Better for Your Child

Jim Rohn and Robert Kiyosaki in their writings advise that helping kids develop income earning talents and skills, as early as possible in life, is the wise thing for every parent to do.

Over 14 years ago, when my first child was born, I resolved to take their advice. Today, the results I’m getting confirm it was a wise decision.

Unfortunately, parents in our society generally believe that their children should finish school before beginning the business of learning how to make money and create wealth.

That needs to change – else the tragic experiences of poorly prepared graduates from our institutions will continue to torment us daily in our society. It’s time we changed our thinking.

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“Thinking is the most exacting job there is – which is why so few people engage in it” – Henry Ford

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What I Have Expressed Here Are My Personal (Experience-Based) Opinions

The ideas I share in this article were conceived over 14 years ago, and formed a major component of the talks I delivered in some organisations across Lagos.

You do not have to accept them. I do implore you however, to reflect on them. Read Robert Kiyosaki’s books: “If You Want to Be Rich & Happy, Don’t Go to School?”; “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”. Read also Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich”. They might help you arrive at your own ideas.

NB: This article was written based on excerpts from my Self-Development Bible™ titled “Ten Ways You Can Use Self-Development to Create the Future You Want”.

My DN Travel News, Self-Development

Making Money Your Primary Motive is Risky

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Do you know why you do what you do? If money is the most important reason you’re doing it, I argue that your achievement of long term success and fulfilment could suffer.

Real Life Historical Evidence Confirms the Importance of Knowing Why You Do What You Do

It does not matter whether you’re in paid employment or run your own business. Being clear about your reason will often be crucial to your ability to achieve sustained long term success in your chosen vocation or profession.

I’ve read very many true stories that attest to the accuracy of the statement I made in the above paragraph. When a person is not clear about his/her reasons for engaging in an activity, any unexpected visitations of adversity can derail his/her progress with permanent effects.

In the same vein, having the wrong motives for doing what you do can also set you up for failure in the long run. For anyone who wishes to achieve high level success on a consistent basis in his/her chosen area of endeavour, my experiences and studies suggest it pays to NOT make money the major reason.

When It’s Money, Different Amounts Serve as a Threshold for Different People

If a person is competent and determined enough, s/he will eventually achieve any financial goal s/he sets her mind upon.

People like that typically become so wealthy that they get recognised by many others for it. And that sense of accomplishment naturally makes them feel on top of the world.

What happens when a person gets to the top of the world? Well, it’s likely s/he would conclude there’s nothing left to be done.

Without a disciplined mindset, the next step most people take often amounts to pressing a self-destruct button. They develop all sorts of “addictions”. A downward spiral in their fortunes gradually commences as they let sloth and indifference make them stop doing the things that made them successful.

Think about it.

When a person works hard and long for years to get wealth, fame, success, s/he is naturally likely to feel “Yeah, I earned this. Now, let me sit back and enjoy the fruits of my hard work.” If s/he has wisely taken care of generating passive income to never work again, the aspect of money may never be a problem.

When Money’s the Primary Motive, Achieving Financial Independence Can Present a Dilemma About What Else to Do!

I refer here to a person who succeeds in making more money that s/he can ever spend, for instance.

If s/he made money the primary motivation in the first place, s/he may find it hard to think of a productive way to spend his/her time from that point on. That’s why some successful people end up engaging in naughty behaviour that gets them in trouble…sometimes with the law.

The irony is however that many people don’t even get to a point where they’ve made enough money to never have to work again, before they begin to sabotage themselves with bad habits.

Not having other motives, s/he begins to lose focus. They let the euphoria of a little success make them get sloppy at what they do.

Others they relate with notice it gradually. Some may point it out. Most times however, the fact that the person feels “Yeah, now I have money, nothing else matters!” s/he will often fail to effect needed changes until it’s too late.

That’s Why It’s Better to Have Motives Superior to Money Making

If you think deeply enough about it, it’s likely you’ll be able to find a compelling and enduring reason. As far as your life’s ambition goes, it’s crucial that you KNOW why you want to achieve it. Knowing why, as Jim Rohn once said, will make it easy to know why you cannot give it up – ever!

It will also keep you interested in doing it, even after you make more money than you can ever hope to spend in life. This is the key to long term success, fulfilment and even longevity. People who have something to live for rarely see that thing as money. It is often something of much greater significance e.g. the desire to influence useful change in the lives of others.

Final Words

Many great people who amass wealth have superior motives to money making driving them. As a result, even after becoming financially secure, they keep going with the same drive right into their old ages.

I believe that is the best way to make the most of one’s self.

Have a reason for doing what you do, that transcends making money, so that even when you get rich, you’ll still find it worthwhile doing it!

This ensures the world continues to benefit from the value we provide, till we pass on. That was exactly how Nelson Mandela lived his life until his death.

And wow, what a great life he ended up having!

Parenting, Self-Development

A Lesson on Money Spending from John D. Rockefeller

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Those who have experienced severe lack of money and gone on to become financially successful often display frugality and prudence in handling money. The authors of “The Millionaire Next Door” reported from their over 2 decade study of mostly self-made millionaires across America, that majority of them built their wealth slowly and from scratch too.

Getting rich that way takes time and great discipline too.

We are told that many of them enjoyed long years of marriage and in most cases the couples actively collaborated to find ways to both save money, and also grow the money they saves.

Many had/have a penchant for seeking bargains in shopping for clothes and other consumables. They rarely chose to buy from expensive high end stores patronized by free spending celebrities and career persons living high consumption lifestyles.

Today, I had a meeting with Professor Idowu Oladele

He co-authored the paper I recently got approved for international publication on use of Excel-VB Software Development for Feed Formulation by Smallholder farmers and Extension Specialists.

The last time we saw each other was in 2005, when I’d visited the University of Ibadan (Oyo state, Nigeria) to get my transcript.

During our conversation, he’d shared his experiences in academia with me, and I’d left with a copy of his extensive and very impressive resume. Some weeks later, in consultation with him, I’d created a web based version of that resume and hosted it on a sub domain on my website.

He would eventually move to a university in Botswana, while participating in various international projects.

Today, he is the Director of the School of Agricultural Sciences at North West University, in South Africa.

We’ve come a long way. Keeping in touch since we both graduated in the same set, in 1992, from the department of Agricultural Extension Services of the University of Ibadan. We came top of the class back then.

Today, our collaboration on an international level marks the beginning of a new era. There is so much value we can add to smallholder farmers across Africa.

We went outside the hotel grounds to have lunch.

While speaking with the attendants, we noted that the price for virtually every item on the menu was really high.

For me, it was way too high. Those who have read my first article about why I relocated to Benin Republic will have noticed my deliberate emphasis on low cost of food in that small country.

Dele made a valid point that we were only going to eat there for that day, and would not return afterwards. I agreed with him, but noted that it still pained me anyway, and that if I’d been alone (and the one paying), I’d have chosen to go elsewhere.

Like I told him, it’s not just about the money.

For me, I find it greatly upsetting that food should differ so sharply in pricing between two neighbouring countries. That’s why anytime I visit Nigeria these days, and I have to buy food outside the home, I feel like I’m throwing money away.

My experiences with lack of money, and the discovery that I can get good quality food, in Cotonou, at almost a third of the price I pay in Nigeria, makes it hard for me to do otherwise.

For me, that money could be put to better use, if not saved away for the future. Dele expressed agreement with what I said by recalling a Yoruba saying that water dripping slowly, if left to continue, will eventually fill up a room, should it find no outlet to escape through.

At that point I let on that people have criticized me for being miserly, or even stingy with regard to money.

In response I’ve often told them the anecdote I read about John D. Rockefeller.

One day, John D. Rockefeller used a pay phone to make a long distance call. He’d put in a number of one dollar coins to cover his call. By the time he was done, and he checked how long he’d been on, he realised he’d used up less time than he’d estimated he would. His calculations showed he would get at least one dollar change back from the machine.

But after he hung up and waited a while, nothing happened. So he knocked on the pay phone, shook it, thinking the coin got stuck. Still no money came out.

Determined, he dialled the operator and said “Hi. I just made a call and spent less time that I’d put coins in the pay phone for. But despite all my efforts, it’s refused to produce my one dollar coin change!”

The operator apologized and said “Can you tell me what your name is Sir?”

He was about to say “John D. Rockefeller”, when it occurred to him that being a millionaire, the operator would be shocked to discover he was the one complaining about a mere one dollar of change!

So he said “Never mind. I’ll let it go.” And he hung up.

John D. Rockefeller explained that in the Rockefeller family, every child from a very early age is taught to have a very high regard for the smallest unit of money.

They are made to realise that every dollar adds up, and must therefore be well accounted for when spent.
This attitude is what has helped the Rockefeller family preserve its massive wealth from generation to generation.

I have adopted that mental attitude, and actively coach my kids to do the same thing at every opportunity.

When you can eat a good, satisfying meal for N100, why spend N200? Why not spread that N200 over 2 decent meals?

And it’s not just with food. In every area of life, the same rule should apply.

Anyone who wants to build long lasting wealth will adopt this approach to handling money.

My DN Travel News, Self-Development

Will Your Claims of Achievement Withstand Scrutiny?

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Many adults know the “joke” about parents (especially fathers) who tell their kids that they (the parent) always came first in class (even when they did not) during their schooling days. They then use that “claim” to demand that their kids deliver similar performances :-)))

The irony is however often that the achievements of most of such parents in real-life, post-school, tend not to justify the claims they make, and some of their kids, who are perceptive enough, readily notice that.

Some people seem to feel a need to impress others by making false claims about their abilities and/or past accomplishments.

The point I am making is that adults, often taking a cue from prevailing societal preferences and values, sometimes feel pressured to present themselves in a manner that will win them approval from a larger audience.

That is not bad in itself, IF the person then takes steps to ACQUIRE the knowledge/competencies that will confer on him/her the ABILITY to achieve at the level of proficiency s/he wishes to be acknowledged for.

The problem however is that some of these people are NOT prepared to work that hard to get such results. They prefer instead to take shortcuts that win them the rewards they seek without the PAINS.

So they LIE.

That’s when a job applicant states military experience in his resume dating back to before he was born! Or an interviewee presents samples of past completed works, which turn out – by a twist of fate – to have actually been those done by his INTERVIEWER!!

It would interest you to know that the examples I just gave are REAL and were obtained from the published results of a recent survey conducted in the US titled “Who lies more on resumes?”.

Click here now to read the full report.

People who get ahead by using these dishonest methods are often quite adept at generating excuses for the subsequent poor performance they inevitably deliver.

It’s either they were not told on time, that the task or assignment was urgent/time bound. Or a power glitch damaged their PC/flash drive just at the moment they wanted to email the finished work or print it out. :-)

Also, these people will usually be the first to kick against attempts to define roles/responsibilities clearly for proper accountability in their teams. This is because they know their survival depends on ensuring they stay hidden from scrutiny, while they ride on the efforts of other members.

No one is (and no one can be) perfect, but in order to continually function at our best, it is good to strive perpetually towards perfection. I suggest ways to avoid falling into the trap of feeling the need to claim you can when you know you do not have the competence to do so .

1. Learn to speak TRUTH

A lie is a lie. When you “prevaricate”, it is still a lie!

Learn to say exactly what you can do, and don’t put any icing on it.

If you can build simple spreadsheets with formulas, don’t claim you can also use VBA code, with Windows API calls to create top end custom Excel-VB driven spreadsheet software like those you saw on a website last month!

You never know who will remember what you said, and come calling some time in the future to ask you to do something that advanced for them.

2. Know What You Want

When you acquire skills and knowledge related to what you want to do, you will usually need no push or prodding from others to keep doing so on a consistent basis.

By implication, you will easily stay on the cutting edge of latest developments in your field. Telling others you can do something in relation to that area, will therefore not pose any risk to you or your integrity.

3. Believe In Yourself

You must develop your self-esteem to the point that you know, and are thoroughly convinced that it is not what others say (or how they feel about you, or act towards you), that determines if you are good or not good at what you do.
Learn to feel good about yourself regardless of what happens outside of you.

This is something that is very hard for a lot of people to do. Yet, working hard at it will actually end up making you come across as self-confident, assertive and at ease with yourself.

Final Words

The foregoing are all qualities that most people are attracted to – meaning you still end up winning not just the approval of others, but also their respect and admiration.

In essence, you would have achieved the same end result, but without having to use dishonest methods.

In life, the people who end up succeeding with integrity, are those who are true to themselves every day.

Make a point of always ensuring that you say only what you can do, and do what you say you will do.

Doing so will earn you a reputation that will make others believe in, and respect you EVERYWHERE you go.

NB: This article is based on excertps from Issue No. 31 of Tayo K. Solagbade’s Self-Development Digest Newsletter published on Mon 6th October 2008 at http://spontaneousdevelopment.com/news/sdacn_Mon_061008.htm

Entrepreneurship, Farm Biz, My DN Travel News, Public Speaking, Self-Development, Writing/Blogging

No. 123: Boost Your Marketing Success by Using the Web Differently

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The massive name recognition and marketing reach/impact I’m getting via my zero cost Web Marketing System baffles many. Most believe if you don’t spend on online ads in some media, you cannot get enough marketing exposure.

My achievements on the web disprove that myth.

SCROLL DOWN TO READ FULL ISSUE

Click now to view the latest issue of Tayo Solagbade's Public Speaking IDEAS page

Publication: Weekly Public Speaking IDEAS Newsletter

Date: Monday 6th January 2014

No:123

Title: Boost Your Marketing Success by Using the Web Differently

Author & Publisher: Tayo K. Solagbade [Tel: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic) ]

Blog URL: http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/blog

Archive (E-mail version started 14th May 2012): Click here to view

Archive (Blog version started 24th September 2011): Click here

Have You Downloaded Your Gifts?

Ten Ways Self-Development Bible

As a subscriber to my mailing list, you get to access over 10 potentially useful books and reports.

Click here to view the download page:

Login using the username and password sent to you during signup.

Can’t find it? No problem. E-mail me via tayo at tksola dot com and I’ll send you another. Not yet a subscriber? Click here to signup.

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NB: This newsletter is published every Monday. Point your browser to www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/sdnuggets to read at least ONE new post added to my SD Nuggets blog on a different category from Tuesday till Saturday (sometimes even Sundays) in line with this publishing schedule :-)

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No. 123: Boost Your Marketing Success by Using the Web Differently

The massive name recognition and marketing reach/impact I’m getting via my zero cost Web Marketing System baffles many. Most believe if you don’t spend on online ads in some media, you cannot get enough marketing exposure.

My achievements on the web disprove that myth.

To boost your online self-promotion efforts in 2014 as an expert-who-speaks, adopt the mind set shift, and ideas/strategies I advocate in this article!

Using The Web Successfully Is Rarely About Your IT/Technology “Up-to-date-ness”

I like the sound of that…”up-to-date-ness”…:-))

I’ve found that some people think succeeding with IT depends on using the latest versions and models. Wrong! Anyone familiar with my elaborate online presence, will be surprised to learn that I use what purists would consider very outdated equipment and software.

For instance, I write and do all my Excel-VB coding on a VERY old Toshiba Satellite (at least by today’s standards. It was purchased 5 years ago.)

And I say this proudly. It gives me the results I want, and many times I deliver output that exceeds those of others who use more modern machines and software.

My philosophy is: if it’s not giving problems, and stilll produces the results I want, why change it?

That’s why you’ll find I have Windows XP installed on it, and there’s also a copy of MS Excel 2000 (that’s NOT a typo!) on it, in case I need to develop an app that’s downwardly compatible.

You should also see my Blackberry Pearl 9035.

It’s seen better days, as I’ve flogged it mercilessly since 2 years ago when I bought it.

Many times, I’ve had to teach clients using superior, newer models how to do what I do with my old horse e.g creating and publishing new posts to my blog, with graphics, and also using a blackberry as a modem for browsing via my laptop, saving over N4,000 monthly as a result.

So, it’s rarely about the “tools” and more about the competence, commitment and creativity of the user!

Think about it: Long distance runners from Ethiopia and Kenya who often start out training bare foot, without access to modern sporting facilities have for decades dominated World and Olympic competitions.

Their peers in developed societies, despite all their special diets and conditioning, with their aerodynamic running shoes and wears, are rarely able to match them!

It’s More About Your Ability to Find/Use The Right Mix of User-Friendly Tools and Resources

As an expert-who-speaks in 2014, the way you put PC and Internet technology to use will determine the degree of marketing success you achieve.

Too many of us still think we must get a “certification” in a particular vocation before we can consider ourselves competent to function in it. And we apply that same thinking to others we come across.

This leads to a bias that denies us the opportunity to benefit from the GENIUS of someone who, for example, studied Sociology in the university, but later discovered and developed his God-given talent for Web Marketing.

In trying to decide whose proposal to accept, we choose the person who sends a thick proposal endng with a listing of all sorts of IT qualifications. We tell ourselves “Aha. This person will know all there is to know about helping us use IT and the Internet to successfully market our products and services!“

We blind ourselves to the need to check for real-world relevance of each person’s know-how!

An IT graduate may NOT have a passion for creatively applying what s/he knows in a way that benefits his/her clients in the real world. In today’s world, technology makes it possible for anyone with the interest and willingness, to learn almost anything s/he wants to learn.

And that’s why today we have so many people achieving great successes in fields they did not formally study in. Look around you. I do not need to give any examples. They abound everywhere!

To me, that is a sign that we all need to pay more attention to verifying real world competence, instead of depending on academic credentials in isolation.

You, or Your IT Manager Need Not Reinvent The Wheel, to Market Online Successfully

I say this with confidence drawn from over 8 years of using the web to market physical and digital products/services to buyers within and outside Africa.

Knowing that my target audiences varied greatly in their familiarity with the web, as well as their purchasing power, I had to focus on low to zero cost ways to do it all, until I could be sure what worked best. Then using what I learned, I narrowed down to certain strategies, and this increased my rate of success.

Since I was short of funds, and of time, I had to find ways to do my online marketing faster and with less effort i.e. via Intelligent Automation. And I remain alert to any new opportunities to do that.

Around 2009, I discovered Content Management Systems(CMS). That marked a turning point in the way I used the web.

Before then, I’d learnt and used Macromedia Dreamweaver, Macromedia Flash, Adobe Photoshop etc to create my designs and web pages from scratch. Discovering CMS like Joomla! and WordPress opened my eyes to the invaluable opportunity to focus my attention on what really mattered: CREATING and propagating USEFUL CONTENT for my target audience!

It took time. It took effort. It took persistence.

But today, I know what to do and how – combining the CMS with other Internet resources, to achieve high impact marketing mileage at low to zero cost.

Whenever I speak to others who want to use the web, I alert them to the need to avoid wasting limited time, and resources, manually doing stuff that I get done automatically.

For example: In CMS like Joomla! they are called “Extensions”. In WordPress, “Plugins”.

On my blog, I have a plugin that allows me create all sorts of contact forms, with powerful automation features, without any coding knowledge, and within seconds.

Another allows me automatically choose posts on my blog, and compiles them into a book I can immediately publish. Considering that I have almost 500 posts to plough through, you can imagine that plugin will be a time saver for me, since I plan to publish ebooks for sale on some of my blog categories in the near future.

Without the plugin, I’d have needed a developer, and a hefty sum of money to pay him/her!

In truth, I am yet to have a need for a special feature or function to aid my marketing online that is not catered for by an extension or plugin already existing. (My experience also indicates that if you search long and hard enough, you’ll find a FREE one too!)

So, when I see some people sweating for months to write code to do something they claim to be important for their website or online marketing, I often get saddened. When I point out the mistake they’re making, they conclude I don’t know enough IT (e.g. like a friend of theirs, or an IT employee), to advise them.

A prospect once asked me to explain how a degree in Agric. Extension qualified me to advice him on Web Marketing :-)

That would have been be a valid question, IF I did not have a verifiable trackrecord of success in developing Web Marketing Systems that generate quality sales leads for clients. I tried to show him…he paid little or no attention.

So I asked him: “Which is more important? My academic credentials, or the income generating web marketing results I’m getting online in the real world?”.

He gave no answer, but his body language was enough.

I felt so sorry for him, as I often do for people who let petty biases deny them valuable growth opportunities. The programming done on us from school can be that strong!

A Few Years Later, His IT Manager Requests My Advice on Real-World Use of IT/Internet Technology!

If you’ve been reading my writing a while, you know I do NOT share this to brag. It’s just an example I feel effectively drives home the point I’m making.

What follows below is an abridged version of a Facebook chat conversation session I once had (in 2010) with a young IT manager. He worked with the above mentioned CEO I’d discussed providing web marketing systems development service with.

Like him, and his boss, if you and/or your IT personnel fail to take heed of what I’m saying, your company may be unable to develop an effective online presence that delivers the results you want.

Take a few minutes therefore and read – it could save you a lot of wasted time, effort and money in future!

———–START of chat————-

8:19pm<NameRemoved> is online : Hello Sir

8:19pmMe: Hi

8:20pm<NameRemoved>: I suppose u remember me?

8:20pmMe: You work with the real estate company I visited

8:21pmMe: Yes? No?

8:21pm<NameRemoved>: not real estate, IT company

8:22pmMe: My apologies – I do over 10 sales visits each day. Sometimes gets hazy. Your pix looked familiar, so I accepted your friend request

8:23pm<NameRemoved>: <types company name + address here>..remember now?

8:24pmMe: Yes – I do. Spent quite a while with your boss that day…

8:24pm<NameRemoved>: I’ve been trying to learn PHP & MYSQL bt it`s kinda tedious for me…So I was wondering if u could help me out

8:27pmMe: I told your boss – coding PHP and MYSQL are not competencies one needs to dwell on to deliver the kinds of solutions I offer – except you want to go on an ego trip…I use content management systems that make developing web solutions cost and time efficient. In using them, I only need to know how to TWEAK php and mysql code where necessary.

8:30pm<NameRemoved>: I don`t understand wat u mean?

8:32pmMe: For my work, there is no need to really “know” PHP or mysql in depth

8:33pmMe: What you need mainly in basic knowlegde of html, php, etc that will allow you make adjustments to the code produced by powerful content management systems like Joomla (which is php based)

8:35pm<NameRemoved>: really?

8:35pmMe: Today what is needed are expert developers of solutions that work, not expert programmers who know how to write program code.

8:37pmMe: The problem is Nigerians believe they must write code. My focus is on helping clients develop web solutions that do what they want. Go to joomla.org and LEARN what it means to use CMS like it (there are others) to deliver web solutions for the most sophisticated client needs you can encounter

8:38pm<NameRemoved>: so how can I be getting the codes since I don`t know how to write??? r u serious?

8:40pmMe: Once you understand basic html, you are well equipped to learn how to develop web solution using the NEW generation of tools like CMS. The world has moved on. Programmers are a dime a dozen (common). They have automated the process using CMS. Learn how to use CMS to solve problems, and you will become relevant

8:41pmMe: Forget about becoming a code writer or programmer. It would be a waste of time. What you want to code is likely to have already been coded out there into a powerful all-in-one software like a CMS. Find that software and save yourself the hassle. Then spend quality time THINKING of how to USE that new tool to serve clients, and solve their problems

8:45pm<NameRemoved>: u mean I would be able to develop database driven sites like WAEC, JAMB and all that???

8:47pmMe: Please go to joomla.org, then read and learn. The world has moved on. Nigerians need to learn to do more THINKING. We need to stop trying to prove we are good at writing code. It is NOT about writing code. It is about SOLVING real life problems. Just like GSM phones have replaced the dial phones, so have CMS come to remove the drudgery from development of dynamic database driven websites!!! (This was sent as a message, when his net connection broke off)

(May 29 at 9:26pm)<NameRemoved> Replies via FBK message :facebook chat is really messing up dat`s why I`ve to resort to mailing u…….

I really appreciate ur help…….u r the right man I`ve been looking for all these while. Pls I need u to enlighten me on these CMS and JOOMLA u are talking about. I also need ur phone no. and ur yahoo messenger id so we can chat better. I`m into networking, engineering, I also do web design but I really wanna develop myself in the web engineering part. I`m studying computer science in UNILAG. I`m only doing some sort of part – time work in that company where we met. These are some sites I designed: <supplies 3 website addresses>

So basically, I want to go into web engineering. I want to be developing database-driven sites(PHP & MYSQL) and all that. This is why I need u to show me the way as to how to make use of CMS and JOOMLA.

Thanks.

(May 29 at 9:32pm) I reply via FBK message : I would encourage you to search using Google for many of the very useful resources for learning how to use CMS like Joomla, Drupal and WordPress. In my opinion Joomla and WordPress are the ones you should focus on learning – and I learned to use them FREE online. Just search using “where can I learn to use Joomla” for e.g. Believe me, there are hundreds of manuals and videos available online FREE

…May 29 at 9:33pm I send another FBK message : If I have to teach you, I charge an hourly rate of N3,000. I am not sure that would be a cost effective way for you to go about it. Though you are likely to learn faster.

———–END of chat/FBK messages————-

Final Words: Change Your Thinking About Using the Web

In 2014, I challenge you to change your thinking and begin to use the web the way it’s meant to be used: CREATIVELY.

That is the first step towards achieving web marketing success.

I have supplied a few tips to help you in this article. If you need help to progress further, get in touch with me.

Good luck!

Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist

*Sole Agent For Burt Dubin’s Speaker Mentoring Service In Africa

Mobile: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic)

http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com

Self-Development/Performance Enhancement Specialist – Tayo Solagbade – works as a multipreneurial freelance writer providing  zero risk article and report writing support for website owners, while travelling slowly across West Africa as a Location Independent Multipreneur.

He’s presently based in Benin Republic, where he’s preparing an English-French Language Guide, City Travel Guides, and a Commercial Rabbit Farming Guide.

He earns multiple streams of income providing clients with performance improvement training/coaching, custom MS Excel-VB solutions, web marketing systems, freelance writing services, and best practice extension support services (for farm business owners).

In a previous life, before leaving to become self-employed, Tayo served for seven years as a high performing manager in Guinness Nigeria. He rose from Shift Brewer, to Training & Technical Development Manager, then later acted in senior management roles as Production Manager and Technical Manager.

When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Self-Development Nuggets™ blog, and Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter (which he publishes to promote Burt Dubin’s Public Speaking Mentoring service to experts working across the African continent).

For a limited time, Tayo is available to speak to your group or organization for a moderate fee. Send e-mail to tayo at tksola dot com. You can also visit www.tksola.com to learn more.

Connect with him on Twitter @tksola.com and Facebook.

==================

View Tayo Solagbade's video tutorials and demonstrations on Facebook Productivity Tips, Web Marketing, and for his Custom MS Excel-VB driven software applicationsJoin the SD Nuggets community on Facebook.comConnect with Tayo on Twitter.comConnect with Tayo on Google Plus
 

Useful Resources for Speakers

Burt Dubin works with people who want to be speakers, and with speakers who want to be masters.

Burt Dubin works with people who want to be speakers, and with speakers who want to be masters. Click here to visit his website NOW and submit a contact form message telling him what challenges you’re facing, and how you’d like him to help you. Tell him I sent you, and you’ll get a pleasant surprise offer from him.

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Get Burt’s mentoring at any of the 3 levels below:

1. Top Shelf [Click here]

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Publications

On Being a Master (PDF)...A Gift from Burt Dubin - Click now!

Burt Dubin’s latest book: “On Being a Master”

Download Chapter 1 Preview as PDF

Showmanship Strategems

177 Wow! Wow!

Showmanship Stratagems

Discover these secrets of making your programs more interesting and valuable to your clients and audiences now.

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Burt Dubin live

Burt’s Flagship Album

This is the product to own if you can own only one. Why? Because in it you discover principles of platform mastership available to you nowhere else at any price.

You hear performance strategies you can emulate. You shorten your learning curve. You see ways to engage and delight audiences with both content and stories . . . plus you experience a bit of fun.

With its Money back if not delighted Guarantee hardly any are returned.

Find out why

Presentation Magic - Speaking Business Success

Presentation Magic

A live example, including a complete audio recording of a program Burt created from scratch–on a topic he knew nothing about and never, ever presented before! See how you, guided by your personal Learning Guide, (Presentation Magic), can do this too and thrill audiences as often as you want.

Presentation Magic Manual with new pages added plus 3 audio CDs.

more information

ProgramManual

How To Create a Great Program Manual

Discover how you can produce a precious memento of you and your program. Capture over 44 model pages you can easily adapt for your use. Engage proven principles that add value to the experience of sitting at your feet and learning from you.

This is a reprise of the historic presentation that launched the Speaking Success System.

No copy of this 2 CD program and 50 page Learning Guide has ever been returned.

more information

 

Smart Exercising Will Keep You Fit, Healthy and Alive - Click to read

Click to read article titled: 'Smart Exercising Will Keep You Fit, Healthy and Alive'...and ONE other. Self-Development/Performance Enhancement Specialist - Tayo Solagbade - works as a multipreneurial freelance writer providing zero risk article and report writing support for website owners, while travelling slowly across West Africa as a Location Independent Multipreneur. 

 

Using MS Excel® Solver for Least Cost Feed Formulation Can Be Easy - But Also Dangerous (How to Protect Yourself) - Click to downloadDownload above PDF

NEW PDF - 10 Frequently Asked Questions About Feed FormulationDownload above PDF

THEY WROTE…

“(Tayo Solagbade) is amazing and I think he is going to produce some impressive results online…” – click here to read full comment by Patrick Meninga (US based 6 figure income blogger who gained fame for building a $2,000 per month adsense website and selling it for $200,000).

—————————–

“Tayo, I honestly believe you are one of those who will succeed at anything he does. Your commitment and effort has been outstanding….Thanks for all your hard work since I’ve been here – you will be sorely missed. I don’t need to wish you good luck, you have the ability to make your own luck. – Andy”(R. Jones)*

*Operations Manager, Guinness Nigeria Plc Benin Brewery, December 2001 (Handwritten comments in farewell/xmas cards sent to Tayo Solagbade following his resignation to start his own business).

———————–
Click here to contact Tayo… 

SD Nuggets Blog™

 New posts from last week that may interest you! *
Public Speaking

[Monday]:
No. 122: You Need Mastery, Innovation and a Problem Solving Focus

Entrepreneurship [Tuesday]:
A Quick Guide to 100% Pure & Natural Shea Butter – by Femi Solagbade
Self-Development [Wednesday]:
NEW YEAR Day: Meet the Best Agricultural Radio Program for 2013: Alhaji Luqman Ibidunni’s Global A.I.M.S

Career Development [Thursday]:
Can You Be Trusted to Keep Private Information “Private”?
Parenting [Friday]:
Teach Kids With True Stories and Demonstrations

Writing/Blogging [Saturday]:

Cost Details of My Poultry Layer Farm Management Software (Attention: Farm Business Owners/CEOs!)
Want me to write for you? Click here…

 

Career Development, My DN Travel News, Self-Development

Can You Be Trusted to Keep Private Information “Private”?

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Let me be clear about this up front.

What I advocate in this article is not meant to endorse covering up dirty deeds or secrets. In other words, bad things you may know or discover about another person that s/he may wish to keep away from public knowledge.

For instance, a person who habitually shop-lifts, traffics drugs, sexually abuses children, diverts company or public funds for his/her private use etc.

Nothing like that is worth keeping shut about!

So, let’s keep it real here.

You may wish to try getting the person to stop at first.

And so you could refrain from telling anyone, and instead challenge him/her to stop, or own up etc. However, if nothing changes, you will have a duty and obligation to inform relevant persons about it. Possibly starting with his/her (other) loved ones.

Keeping quiet about another person’s dirty secrets, that have a negative impact on the lives of innocent others will make you just as guilty as that person, of those bad things s/he does.

Instead, This is About Respecting the Privacy of Others

When a parcel or envelope, email or letter is marked “Private and Confidential”, any competent user of the English Language knows that means the contents are not meant to be seen or read by just anyone. They will often primarily be for ONLY the addressee.

Now, if someone calls you to have a discussion in private about his/her affairs or plans, and tell you to “please keep this to yourself”, that means he’s being clear that he does not want anyone outside of yourself.

You do not have to be a lawyer to understand that!

Even if s/he does not say “keep it to yourself” (s/he may not even know that you have access to such information!), you should know that THAT would be the right thing to do.

For instance if the person is younger or less experienced that you are, YOU should offer him/her counsel along those lines.

You could say:

“Look, this kind of stuff is not what you’d want to let just anyone know about you. So I advice you limit those you tell based on a need-to-know basis, at least for now.”

That’s what a person worth confiding in should do. That’s what a person who respects the privacy of others does!

One Example: Let’s Say You Work in HR, and So Have Access to Personal Records of Employees.

As a result you know Mr. XYZ who is the new Sales Manager once lost his job, and remained out of work for over 5 years before reviving his career.

And during that period, he had marital problems due to an excessive drinking habit he acquired. This eventually led to a separation from his wife. But he managed to pull his life and career back on track when he got a new job.

Within a few years he recorded exceptional success as a sales representative, and was put in charge of training sales team members. Even more success followed.

And it was on the strength of that success, that he’d gotten the Sales Manager job with your company.

So, unlike most others who regard Mr. XYZ based  on his track record of success, a person with access to his personal file may feel s/he knows something “not-so-cool” about him, that others don’t.

But that information would be private, and often confidential. Telling others would be wrong – and sometimes even illegal.

Yet some people use their privileged access to other people, to channel what are often the unflattering details of their private lives/affairs to the attention of the public.

Most people do it for the ego boost it gives them.

They feel it makes them look and sound important, since what the reveal will often be shocking and surprising, and not known by those they tell.

It gives them bragging rights!

But when the benefit you seek to extract has to come at the expense of the well being of another person’s reputation, you harm yourself for the long term.

Even if they do not immediately find out who did it, they are likely to eventually learn it was you through one of those you tell. And that will colour their opinion of your sense of judgment forever.

And your career could just suffer for it – because even your peers and subordinates can contribute to feedback that your company can use, to decide whether or not to promote you.

If a position you’re in line for requires the holder to have the ability to keep confidential information, those who know of your past indiscretions may argue that you’re not competent to hold that post.

And they may go as far as writing a petition to the CEO.

My advice: No matter what you think you know about other people’s personal and private lives, be careful what you say, and how. Indeed keep your mouth shut about it if at all possible! Except an official request is made that you talk about it, you really should not!

Final Words

Outside paid employment this problem also occurs.

Some people go around yapping indiscreetly about what they think they know about others.I personally detest those I discover to be this way.

That’s not just because I feel they’ll talk about me.

It goes beyond that. You see I actually do not care for other people’s “secrets” they feel they’re “gifting” me with! They make me feel compromised – like some kind of partner in their crime of snooping in other people’s lives. That’s something I would never do!

Any good and honest associates such a person has will end up concluding they cannot afford to confide in him/her!

It is for the above reason that I end up EXCLUDING people who continually do the above, from my “inner circle of associates”.

My experience based opinion is that if one does not take such drastic action, they’ll eventually bring one down.

My DN Travel News, Parenting, Self-Development

Show Others How to Succeed!

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In 2002, I worked as a volunteer maths tutor in an NGO’s weekend(secondary school students) tutoring project.. Having overcome a severe math-phobia (with the help of a private tutor) to get a distinction on my second exam attempt, I had a passion for demystifying maths for students.

I Dreaded Maths in Secondary School…

You see in my family, everybody knew I always struggled with Mathematics. When the results of my first school leaving certificate exams came, I scored a P8 (pass) in maths, but got decent grades in the remaining subjects. It was not much of a surprise to me or others…

That P8 was naturally not up to the required credit, for entry into university. So, I had to prepare for the November/December 1986 General Certificate of Education (G.C.E) exams.

My parents Registered me in Mr. Tony’s Translat Training Centre

Mr. Tony, the maths tutor, was an extremely gifted, and mild mannered Igbo gentleman (who ran Translat Training Centre, a Lagos-Akoka based remedial studies outfit for pre-university students, with his partner. It was quite close to University of Lagos.).

Mr. Tony helped me discover the secret for beating Maths hands down – anytime.

I did not have to learn new skills or read new textbooks. What he taught me was the “strategy” for answering questions. He also outlined guiding principles for coming up with comprehensive “study plans” based on the current West African Examinations Council (WAEC) syllabus.

Anyone who abided by what Mr. Tony said passed. Indeed, most of us scored distinctions!

By the time I took the G.C.E exams, I knew I was going to do quite well in all 5 subjects I’d sat. But I was especially sure of my performance in Maths.

Mr Tony has so drilled me on the preparation strategies that when I took the exam, I actually felt like I’d seen all the questions before!

I recall how my mother smiled indulgently, when I told her I would get the highest grade possible (A1) in maths. She said, “Hmm…just get a credit. That’ll be enough.” I said “Oh you don’t believe me? Well, you wait and see then!” When the results came out I scored A1 in maths, C4 ion English and A3s in Physics, Chemistry and Biology.

None of the other subjects mattered though. I’d already gotten passing grades in the May/June exam.

My mother was pleasantly surprised!

In my case, I gained a whole new level of self-confidence. You see, I realised Mr. Tony had been right. He had told me to “forget my fears”, and stay focussed on doing what he taught me. I would go through the rest of my formal schooling life applying this same strategy, with repeated success. And each time I cannot help being grateful for having met Mr. Tony’ who shared his know-how in Mathematics with me.

I can still hear him saying “Tayo, maths is a simple subject.”

When I coached the students at the NGO tutoring project, I told them the same thing!

————————

“To Mr. Tayo Solagbade.

I appreciate all your effort. It is through you I knew the difference between Schooling and Education and its also through you that I knew that mathematics as a subject can be answered in many ways. I am very grateful.” – Ifeanyi Okeke, SS3 Student, Volunteer Corps (VC) Tutoring Project: Handwritten Comment in memoirs section of VC Year Book published in 2003.

————————

My experience with Mr. Tony, is why I have a passion for demystifying my successes in any field. It is why I write articles – daily – on this blog on my different areas of interest and expertise.

I want others to learn how I do what I do!

We All Need to Strive to Demystify Success

“The world would be a better place to live in if each person would leave, as an inheritance to posterity, the philosophy, and know-how that brought him happiness, physical, mental and spiritual health and wealth, as did Andrew Carnegie” – Napoleon Hill, in “Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude”

This above quote communicates such a potent truth.

Robert Kiyosaki had already made his millions before deciding to write his best sellers. Today, he makes more money from his investments than he does from selling his books…and with less effort too.

So why does he STILL write and teach? Indeed, why do so many AUTHENTICALLY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE (emphasis deliberate!) keep sharing what they know with us?

It’s because they know the above truth. Carnegie’s example is worth emulating. Those who “hide” their know-how and philosophies do themselves a disservice.

People Who Mystify Success Often Have Something to Hide…

Here’s one thing I’ve noticed: Some celebrities in my part of the world, when asked how they made it. One answer they give REALLY annoys me:

They say “Na God O!” (i.e. “it’s God’s work etc”)

For me, that makes no sense whatsoever. Is that supposed to imply God loves only them, and so rewards them with unexplainable success?

Why do they mystify success in that manner?

To me, ANY person who answers the question about his/her success philosophy that way is either hiding something naughty s/he did to succeed, or is a flash in the pan who just stumbled into success.

Such people when posed the same question asked of Henry Ford would most likely NOT have an answer.

Ford was asked what he would do if he lost his entire financial empire…

He replied without hesitating: “I’d have it all back in 5 years!”

How could be so sure?

Because he had achieved authentic success. He knew what he did to get where he was. There was nothing crooked in there!

His was the kind that is repeatable, and reproducible. It’s the kind that you can teach others and if they follow it exactly, they are bound to succeed the way you did if not better.

Another Person Who Demystifies Success Is Burt Dubin

His Speaking Success System in recognised worldwide for helping aspiring speakers go on to become some of the world highest paid/most recognised international speakers.

This is not a sales pitch.

That’s why there’s no URL to click.

But I felt it would help if I added that contemporary example.

Final Words

However, if you have even the slightest interest in improving your speaking expertise in 2014, I strongly suggest you Google Burt Dubin’s name – now, while you’re still thinking about it. Click the Google results page link that appears to visit his website (speakingsuccess.com and/or burtdubin.com) and send him a message.

Tell him I sent you, and you’ll get a surprise FREE gift offer from him 😉

You’ll probably thank me for suggesting you do this!

Self-Development

What Should You Really Give to People at Christmas?

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“What! Giving again?” I ask in dismay.

‘And must I keep giving away?”

‘Oh no’ said the angel looking me through.

‘Just keep giving till the Master stops giving to you!”

Source: “Success through a Positive Mental Attitude”, by Napoleon Hill

NB: This article should have published yesterday 25th December 2013…but I was back in “school learning how people spend Xmas in Benin Republic…and forgot to schedule it” :-)))

Don’t think of ONLY “money” and “things” when “giving” is mentioned.

Many times, the best form of giving is when you GIVE OF YOURSELF…!

If you don’t know how, here are some examples:

1. “…stand up for the rights of others against the undersirable influence and coaxing of friends and threats of enemies…”

(this example also from “Success through a Positive Mental Attitude”)

Have you ever seen or heard someone get accused of doing or saying something which YOU knew s/he did not?

Did you speak up or at least send some anonymous tip to warn those involved using information you had. Did you make reasonable effort to spare that person avoidable pain and suffering due to a false accusation. Or did you conveniently look away because it was “not your business” or “you did not want trouble”?

If you did your best, then the creator knows and will reward you accordingly. If you failed to do so, be sure that he has laws set down in nature that will be applied to you at the appropriate time.

2. Be nice. Be compassionate. Be considerate.

BUT…not just to people you expect can do something for you (e.g. the relatives/friends of some money bag you hope to get close to…LOL)!!!

Be the same way even to the (seemingly) inconsequential doorman at the fast food restaurant…the floor mopper in your office…the office boy….the refuse disposal chap…you know, all those people secretly look down on.

3. Be Fair, Impartial, and truthful in all your dealings

For instance, do not bear false witness. I know some people will quickly say they’d never do that.

But here’s a quick reality check. Any time you keep quiet when a lie is told, you bear false witness!

For instance, if you did not see something happen, don’t stay silent when your friend says “Tayo was there, he saw it happen!”. If you did not see it happen, don’t let him use you as a false witness against another person.

If you do, you set yourself up to be so treated by that person in future. And when you complain s/he is likely to shut you up by saying you once joined to do the same thing to another person.

So, even if it means losing a friend, stand on the side of truth at all times. Be fair and impartial even with a person you don’t like. That’s what the creator expects of you.

Final Words: But It’s Not Just on Xmas Day!

This is probably the most important point to keep in mind. Do all the above every day – not just one day. Make every day special!

In other words, act with Emotional Intelligence. Anyone who does will understand why this should be done daily. Read my article to learn more about Emotional Intelligence – which unlike IQ is not fixed from birth and can actually be IMPROVED with deliberate effort, over time.

Remember that your creator, the master, watches you, and knows your thoughts. And what he KNOWS about you is what really matters…not what people around you think about you.

You see, there’s NO special season for doing the above. Forget the adverts and special church services, TV programmes etc.

Doing stuff like this should be a DAILY habit for every decent human being!

So, give of yourself in as many ways as you possibly can. As you can see from the above, even when you (think you) don’t have, there’s a LOT you can still give – by giving of yourself. Most times, that will be a better gift than anthing money can buy.

Forget about making somebody happy, or saying something nice at Christmas. Do it EVERYDAY!!!!

Entrepreneurship, My DN Travel News, Self-Development

Sometimes Going On Alone Will Be Futile (Hint: I Wrote “Begging Letters” to Keep Going)

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I first encountered the term “begging letters”, from reading a biography of Karl Marx. Many books have been written about Marx, and NONE fail to mention that he wrote “begging letters” (read this one).
That’s why I know that the SMSes/emails I’ve sent to ONE friend (few times in 2002), and many relatives (over the years) as I pursued success, were mostly “begging letters”!

But I often wrote such “letters” ONLY when I’d pushed myself to the limit and could find no other way to progress.

For instance, on more than 2 occasions, I ran out of fuel on Lagos’ 3rd Mainland Bridge, due to lack of cash to by fuel even as I was trying to squeeze in one extra client visit!

Many times the inability to provide for my family made it imperative I ask for help in this manner, even when my pride and fierce sense of independence would be wounded. I had to learn to think of those who depended on me.

I’ll never forget one day few years after I started out.

My second son was down with severe malaria attack. I had no paid projects in hand, and no money. With my wife and kids in the car, I visited Ikeja computer village, and after going from shop to shop for hours, begged a PC dealer who showed interest, to buy my new CD writer (bought for N35,000 some months earlier), for  N10k.

Just so I could get money to take my son to hospital.

Believe it or not, he COLDLY offered me N5k, and I gladly took it!

If your business is not doing well, get help to fulfil your obligations. Don’t punish your loved ones because of “foolish pride”!

Oh…how I’ve learnt so much from prolonged exposure to hardship…!

It is for the above reason that I LOVE the quote below – by Emerson – so much:

“When man…is pushed, tormented, defeated, he has a chance to learn something; he has been put on his wits, on his manhood, he has gained facts, learns from his ignorance, is cured of the insanity of conceit; has got moderation and real skill.” – Emerson

Here’s something important to take note of:

Not once did I ask for help to fulfil pleasures or pursue trivialities. I literally punished myself to maximize any money I had. Sometimes I’ve eaten ONCE a day. I’ve even gone without food over an entire weekend, just to have money to continue my work at a cyber cafe. That’s why I often produce results with little money!

The above explains why I LOVE this quote by Dan Kennedy…

“I have long taught:: if you can’t make money without money, you won’t make money with money either. And if you’re going to back somebody, pick an entrepreneur who has proven that he can survive without adequate capital” – Dan Kennedy

My experiences informed my decision to write my article advocating – as Kennedy did – giving support to people “worthy”of it – instead of giving it to people who routinely (due to sloth and indifference), rarely have tangible results to show.

Here’s something I read by James R. Cook that further explains how this kind of suffering makes a person GROW (Get his New York Times Bestselling “Startup Entrepreneur” here).

Here's something I read by James R. Cook that further explains how this kind of suffering makes a person GROW(Click now to get his New York Times Bestselling "Startup Entrepreneur" ).

And that’s what I did: I stuck with it long enough – drawing inspiration from quotes like the above, when things got “unbearable”.

Believe me: It is true that BOOKS STRENGTHEN THE MIND!

And that’s why I write so much. I want others to find useful ideas and inspiration from reading my stories, the way I did from reading those of other! It is also why I’m writing a novel, about my journey so far. Names etc will be changed to protect privacies.

Here’s a fact: I have no secrets. I always tell my “whole story” even when doing so does not make me look “cool, calm and collected”.

In my Forthcoming Novel, there will be a chapter titled “The Begging Letters I wrote…”

I’ll publish many of the email and (sometimes bulk) SMS “begging letters” I sent with my LAST kobo when I was hard up.

It is noteworthy that not all those letters “worked”.

Therefore I’ll be adding narratives how I survived those periods. Some people already know parts of this story. But there’s a LOT more!

One thing I can assure you is that those “letters” will make for entertaining reading…:-)))

Entrepreneurship, My DN Travel News, Self-Development

The Right Mental Attitude Keeps Dreams Alive

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“The majority of people are ready to throw their aims and purposes overboard, and give up at the first sign of opposition or misfortune.” – Napoleon Hill

In truth, how long a person can keep going in pursuit of a valued goal, will often be a function of his/her mental attitude, based on available reserve of mental stamina s/he has built up.

I’ve written severally about the importance of mental attitude/stamina in the past. For a person seeking noteworthy success, it needs to be maintained in readiness to cope with inevitable bouts of adversity.

Here’s why:

It’s often the mistakes, setbacks and disappointments that many people experience, that cause them to abandon the idea of running their own businesses. Or any other goals for that matter.

So, Knowing “How” Does Not Say If You’ll Last Long Enough to Finish Doing It!

It’s not enough to know how to do something; you must also have the mental stamina to cope with the attendant challenges/difficulties that will come up when you are engaged in your chosen endeavour.

Sadly, this requirement is not recognised by many who seek success today.

Yes, this aspect of a success conscious mental attitude is what is missing in our society.

It is neglected in all the various forms of formal/informal education provided in every facet of our society. This mental preparation is what is lacking when many people start-up their businesses.

They would often have consulted the right people; attended the seminars; mastered the technical aspects of running the business, BUT they often neglect to develop the mindset/mental attitude needed to keep going when their plans fail to work as expected.

This prevents them from digging in to discover the “wisdom” necessary for survival/success in the real business world. They take these aspects for granted and many, very many, find this to be their undoing in the end.

People Who Succeed Despite Prolonged Adversity Often Credit Their Mental Attitude/Stamina

Today, few have (or seem willing to adopt) the mental attitude needed to achieve sustained successes. Most do not realise they need to develop considerable reserve of mental stamina, to cope with periods of potentially traumatizing difficulties.

People who succeed do not leave such important things to chance! Consider the following examples about well known personalties…

Years after retiring, Michael Jordan is still revered by his peers, coaches and fans – worldwide – for his mental toughness. So is Mohammed Ali.

Fela Anikulapo Kuti was the same.

Time and time again, he emerged from prison/nasty confrontations with government agents, to continue preaching his message. He had mental stamina, and this enabled him persist despite tremendous physical and psychological pain and suffering he went through.

In business, the nearly 10,000 failed attempts recorded by Thomas Edison (in inventing the light bulb) remain in the record books as evidence of superhuman achievement in mental ruggedness!

Your (Psychological) State of Mind Determines Your Mental Attitude

Historical evidence abounds to confirm sports psychologists help individuals and teams turn their fortunes around by guiding them re-gain the mental attitude needed to achieve success.

These guys study how their clients think under different situations. So they know what to say to them to get them to think or act in a particular manner. Many get paid handsomely because they do a good job!

But not all people need (or can afford) to hire psychologists to help them achieve their goals.

There are individuals who develop this ability to maintain the mental attitude required to achieve repeated success, by learning actively from others directly or through books, seminars etc.

Quite often, each one of us will have no difficulty deciding what option (getting help or doing it ourselves) suits us best. What is important is recognising the need to be able to MAINTAIN the right mental attitude for success at all times.

In my opinion, if you can’t teach yourself to do it, save yourself the time and pain, and get a coach or mentor to walk you through the process until you’ve mastered it.

Your success depends on your ability to maintain the right mental attitude, especially in the face of prolonged adversity!

 “You must strike again, and again, and again. And never give up! Never! Never! Never! Until you reach your destination. …– you’ve got to be unstoppable. That’s right. If somebody tells you no, o what? If a door is closed in your face, so what? If things don’t work the first time around or the second time around, so what? I wanted to be in a magazine. I called the publisher of that magazine for tow years. Every week I called him. Why? I’m unstoppable.” – Les Brown