Category Archives: Self-Development

[RECOMMENDED] Domestic Violence against Men: The Nigerian Experience

Domestic violence can take many forms, including physical aggression or assault (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects, battery), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive / covert abuse and economic deprivation[1]. It is perpetrated by, and on both men and women.

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The Nigeria society is a highly patriarchal one, in which men have bloated egos. Though there is a prevalence of domestic violence against women in Nigeria as many women have died, brutalised or maimed for life by their violent male counterparts[30], however, there is also a prevalence of domestic violence against men, which has largely remained under-reported. According to Watts and Zimmermann (2002), the under-reporting of domestic violence is almost universal and may be due to the sensitive nature of the subject. Husband punching, slapping, kicking, nail scratching, sex deprivation and killing are realities that occur in Nigeria[31].

The tragedy is that men who find themselves in this situation hide and do not talk openly about their experience, as talking about it will bruise their ego and expose them to ridicule in a patriarchal society. I was beaten by my wife is a misnomer! It is unheard of in a male egoistic society. Hence such men prefer to suffer in silence until it becomes critical to the point of likely death. An instance is that of Israel Obi, who was a victim of hot vegetable oil bath by his wife.

In His words;

Click below to continue reading…

3-days-later

http://article.sapub.org/10.5923.j.sociology.20140401.03.html

RELATED:

1. Lawyer Stabs Husband To Death In #Ibadan, #Nigeria, Following Domestic Squabble Opening A Debate On Violence Against Men

2. WHY NIGERIA’S NEW VIOLENCE AGAINST PERSONS (PROHIBITION) ACT IS ONLY THE BEGINNING

3, Domestic Violence Against Men: Shocking Experiences of Male Victims in Nigeria

Secret You Need to Succeed Despite Facing Storms of Adversity in Life

[If you’re reading this, you’re likely to appreciate the private and confidential coaching support service I offer titled “Spontaneous Coaching™* for Mastery of Adversity & Personal/Career Success Achievement!” and my article titledWhy You Need to Become a Master of Adversity to Achieve Long Lasting Success“. Learn more about them at the end of this piece]

The principle discussed in this article is a key reason I am successful at what I do today, using my Web Marketing System to attract and convert buyers for my custom Excel-VB software, from within and outside Africa.

Any person who does intellectual work (like Excel-VB coding or freelance writing for clients like I do) knows that you’re unlikely to do your best work when you are worried or upset.

And that is often the state of mind one has when experiencing storms in one’s life!

Countless people fail in life when they try to go after their dreams because they let the storms that erupt in their lives stop them!

I offer ideas to help YOU make your story different, based on what I have done – and continue doing!

Without this understanding, I would not – today – have the international following I enjoy at zero cost, from clients and potential buyers. Neither would I be on record for making total strangers from various countries find my work compelling enough to send me payment for what a Nigerian CEO once asked me; “Who’s going to pay you for that?”

Storms will come and go in your life.

Lots of things can – and may – go wrong at various stages in your evolution as a human being. Your best friend or partner may betray you. The investment you make could turn out bad. A client project could go badly wrong.

As Murphy’s law states: “Anything that can go wrong will!”

And that’s why you need to have an unshakeable belief in yourself – and in your creator, no matter what happens to you. Those are the 2 most important things to do!

Once you achieve that highly evolved state of being, in which you understand that NO EARTHLY STORM (imaginary or real) can change your fortunes for the worse, unless you let it, you will have the courage to stay focused at getting back on track regardless of what goes wrong.

This is why NOTHING has ever kept me from taking my brand to the next level over the past 15 years.

I have experienced all sorts of adversity, pain, suffering, delays, disappointments, setbacks – some causing me extremely humiliating embarrassments – in my personal and work life.

Sometimes those I could call loved ones were responsible for visiting severe hardships on me!

But in ALL of it, I always knew that I just needed to focus on what mattered most – and that is NEVER QUITTING i.e staying focused on doing what I LOVE doing, with even more passion than before!

For me, THAT meant continuing to diligently build and market my custom Excel-VB software and other solutions to the right target audience with my trademark infectious enthusiasm and my unrelenting passion/determination!

Guess what?

This strategy has NEVER failed me!

Indeed, quite often, my periods of greatest tribulations have brought out the best in me in terms of the QUALITY of work I do, resulting in better rewards from clients I connect with!

The same can be YOUR experience if you apply the ideas I’ve shared here, in your own life.

I wish you success!

TIP: This article’s topic is actually one of 5 Guiding Philosophies I recommend for adoption by anyone looking to achieve authentic, reproducible success in Making Money Developing Commercial Quality Custom Excel-VB apps to Sell Internationally. Click here to read it.

 

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RELATED RESOURCES

1. Spontaneous Coaching™* for Mastery of Adversity & Personal/Career Success Achievement!

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2. Why You Need to Become a Master of Adversity to Achieve Long Lasting Success

Graduation Day at the 2 week Cosmetic Makeup and Gele Tying Workshop [Re: Empower Your Daughter to be Her Own Boss With Minimal Resources Via Vocation She Can Build on to Excel]

Yesterday was “graduation” day for my 8 and 11 year old daughters (and their much older fellow trainees) at the venue of the 2 week “Cosmetic Makeup and Gele Tying” workshop organized by the Lagos State Government.

I’m still suffering from cumulative fatigue: I’ve practically been out of circulation over the past 2.5 weeks taking them from home to the venue and STAYING with them till evening, to bring them back from Monday to Friday.

But it felt all worth it seeing them carryout their final assignments of doing makeup on the faces of the “clients” they were asked to bring along.

I took the photo below, outside the event hall about 30 minutes after the presentation ceremony had ended and item 7 (chop-chop) was ongoing.

temi-olu-friend

My 2 daughters are dressed in the Ankara worn by all the other trainees.

The girl to the right is the daughter to the wonderful hairdresser lady who plaited their hairs. My 11 year old daughter did the makeup on her face as part of her final “practical”.

Then each girl had to do makeup on her own face – with no assistance from anyone. That was fun to watch – as it was a strange experience for both of them.

My (soon-to-be) 8 year old girl initially protested that she could not do it!

But she was told that was the requirement for completion. So she had to focus and do it.

What you see in the above photo is the result of her first ever attempt at applying makeup on her own face, instead of someone else’s lol

Note that they wore “Gele” during the ceremony, but which they took off right after the event – that’s indicated by the dark band along their hair lines in the other photo.

Sadly, some glitch caused most of the photos taken by the 11 year old’s Smartphone to render in relatively small 320 x 240 pixel sizes – like the 2 below!

a. The 11 year old inside the event hall

temi-gele

b. The 8 year old inside the taxi I hired so  we could get there on time, AFTER we discovered we’d lost my ATM card and wasted valuable time trying to find it (details in the full post to come later)!

olu-gele

We still do not know what went wrong.

The other photos that are larger were taken by me using my Blackberry. But I was too busy guarding their makeup kit/tools which were scattered all over the floor, as they worked, to take as many photos as I would have loved.

Luckily, the organizers hired photographers, who took several photos of them that I’m hopeful we’ll be able to get copies of for whatever price they command.

As I noted earlier, my girls were the youngest participants at the event – in which we had attendees my age – and even older!

The 8 year old in particular, got LOTS of attention from guests (and the instructors) who came to record videos of her as she worked on her own client’s face.

So many commented on the fact that she was not intimidated/was confident and actually knew what to do and how.

Compared to her older sister, however, her “makeup” work was not so well finished.

But the instructors say she’s headed in the right direction and that with practice, she’ll get much better.

When she was called out to receive her certificate from the Guest of Honour (a “Honourable” from the Lagos State Government”), the MC introduced her saying “Ah, yes, this is our youngest participant!”

That caused the audience to exclaim even more than they had when the first saw her tiny figure walking up to collect the certificate!

It was VERY important to me that she (and her sister) have THAT experience of going out to shake hands as she did, with a VIP – who bent down to speak words of encouragement to her.

When she returned, the glow in her face told me all I needed to know: She LOVED the feeling of a sense of accomplishment it had given her.

I was therefore not surprised that she eagerly continued repairing the makeup on the face of her client, who had accidentally rubbed off some of the makeup.

Her 11 year old sister was also keen to preserve the work she’d done. So much so, that when she noticed her own client trying to use a facial wipe on her cheeks, she playfully patted her hand away saying:

“Ah, don’t spoil all my hard work O!”

This post is meant to just give a few highlights. The full story – ending with my admonition on Best Practice Parenting will come later.

I have a back log of work to dig into right now, so I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get it published, but photos etc will appear in the piece I will be writing on this wonderful journey to vocational skills empowerment my girls have commenced!

[RECOMMENDED] Understanding Relative and Absolute Cell References in MS Excel

Last week I sent out (via email to club members) the promised 100MB step-by-step screenshot tutorial demonstration video showing how to create a dynamic formula that copies across ALL cells in a table of any size, using a mixture of absolute and relative cell references.Next week, I will do a step-by-step analysis of the various parts of that formula, explaining the components of the syntax, so you can fully understand how it works.

Before then, this week, I have compiled previews and links to 3 websites offering useful explanatory information about relative and absolute cell addressing as used in different Excel versions (see below).

I do this to ensure you have access to other useful online resources that you can learn from – outside of me.

I strongly recommend you read each of the articles, to boost your understanding of these powerful concepts.

If you need help making sense of any of it, do not hesitate to contact me.

1. Excel 2013:Relative and Absolute Cell References

Introduction

Video: Cell References

There are two types of cell references: relative and absolute. Relative and absolute references behave differently when copied and filled to other cells. Relative references change when a formula is copied to another cell. Absolute references, on the other hand, remain constant, no matter where they are copied.

Continue reading…

2. USING ABSOLUTE AND RELATIVE REFERENCES IN EXCEL 2010 FORMULAS

You can use three types of cell references in Excel 2010 formulas: relative, absolute, and mixed. Using the correct type of cell reference in formulas ensures that they work as expected when you copy them to another location in the worksheet. Formulas and functions are at their most useful when using references, so you need to understand them.

Continue reading…

3. Relative vs. Absolute Cell References in Spreadsheets

In working with spreadsheets, you need to know about relative vs. absolute cell references.

Here is the issue: when you COPY A FORMULA that contains cell references, what happens to the cell references?

Usually the CELL REFERENCES will CHANGE! If you copy a formula 2 rows to the right, then the cell references in the formula will shift 2 cells to the right. If you copy a formula 3 rows down and 1 row left, then the cell references in the formula will shift 3 rows down and 1 row left. These are called “relative” cell references, since they change relative to where you copy the formula.

Continue reading…

Empower Your Daughter to be Her Own Boss With Minimal Resources Via Vocation She Can Build on to Excel [Case Study: Cosmetic Makeup and Gele Tying]

Last Sunday (26th March 2017), I sent a Power Point slide show with the photos shown below, to the facilitator of the “Cosmetic Makeup and Gele Tying” training workshop being attended by my daughters – with the following message:

Hi Madam,

Photos of (the girls’) Makeup Practice On Each Other – Sun 26th March 2017

Please let’s have your feedback.

Yesterday’s attempts were not so good. They kept fighting each other. But today, went better :-)

They will work on each other’s faces early tomorrow morning, before the class begins – as you have advised on Friday.

Below: Eye brows and eye shadow makeup done by the 8 year old, on her 11 year old sister.

The instructor later noted to me, when we met on Monday, that the 2 girls needed to better draw the brows to include a distinct “arch” and “tail”. They have since gotten much better at doing that – but have been told to do lots more practice at home this weekend.

makeup-done-by-oluoma-ontemi

makeup-done-by-oluoma-ontemi1

makeup-done-by-oluoma-on-temi2

makeup-done-by-oluoma-ontemi3

makeup-done-by-oluoma-ontemi4

Below: Eye brows and eye shadow makeup done by the 11 year old, on her 8 year old sister.

makeup-done-by-temi-onoluoma1

makeup-done-by-temi-onoluoma2

makeup-done-by-temi-onoluoma3

makeup-done-by-temi-onoluoma4

Below: Before and After photos of the 8 year old’s eye lids as the 11 year old worked on her

The instructor noted that they had yet to grasp the “blending” of the colours used, as reflected in the distinctly visible line between the 2 colours used.

shadow-before

shadow-after

Today was the 2nd day of “Gele Tying” in the Cosmetic Makeup and Gele Tying Workshop they’ve been attending

They were taught to use  a very challenging multiple pleating technique made popular by the wife of a top Nigerian politician in the South West region of Nigeria.

It was however noted that the ease of reproduction of this style depends on the fabric from which the Gele itself is made – with Aso Oke, being the recommended, and which gives the best look.

In the photo below, my 11 year old daughter has her Gele done that way, using a fabric different from the recommended Aso Oke

gele-tying

Believe me when I say this entire experience has been, for me, MOST enlightening and inspiring.

This business of Cosmetic Makeup and Gele Typing requires application of major creativity and ingenuity by practitioners.

It’s been so exciting watching the instructors demonstrate how to mix colours to create amazing eye shadow effects, for instance.

The trainees also got told how to use various kinds of brushes to achieve different looks in the course of making up a client’s face.

Very little is left to guessing or trial and error – and that’s why it’s a vocation that commands enduring interest and respect!

This makeup business is both a science and an art: That’s why I am certain it’s a viable vocation to venture into – and the long term success reported for many practitioners confirms  it.

What’s more, it has few entry limitations, making it open to anyone willing to do the work required to learn and to create.

Little wonder that the 2 week workshop has on attendance females of virtually all ages (including several older than myself) and backgrounds.

All worked together in what was mostly a cordial atmosphere, to learn from the very helpful instructors, and also to share with one another, what each person knew.

Some had been in the business already and only attended the training to brush up and learn new tricks of the trade.

Others, like my girls, were complete novices – so they got lots of coaching attention from the older ladies, which was pleasing to see.

It goes without saying that I’ve resolved they will be taking the formal 1 month training on offer, from the course facilitator, at her studio. 

Yep. This is the kind of EDUCATION that I consider most valuable as a foundation for success in life.

One can build on it to acquire all other forms as one goes along, but it will provide a valuable means of income earning to do all other stuff, without needed too much help (if at all any) from others.

This Cosmetic Makeup and Gele Tying business is one that can empower ANY female of any age to be her own boss with minimal resources.

It’s VERY scientific  in nature – requiring a willingness to learn how things work and practice till mastery is attained.

You simply cannot cut corners, because your client will always demand value for her money.

So, if the finished makeup you do on her face, or the Gele you tie on her head, fails to meet the standard you promised, your brand will suffer.

She will protest, and most likely tell others, or at least refuse to give you referrals.

None of that will serve your needs. That’s why those who succeed in this business tend to be disciplined and serious minded.

I believe this is why the ladies I observed all through the 2 week period were so serious in their disposition to doing what they were being taught.

They knew it was not a matter of writing some paper exam, but of being able to DEMONSTRATE mastery of the art of makeup – repeatedly, and consistently.

Here’s the best part: You can start out with a budget that is comfortable for you, and scale up as you succeed with client jobs you get.

This is because there will always be clients willing to pay you at your level of competence.

I have been told of locations in Lagos where young girls do Gele tying for only N500.00, and others where the lowest rate you can get the same service is N5,000.00!

Some of the ladies at the training explained that they can do full facial makeup for N2,500.00, because they are not so well established – noting that there are places where the lowest rate you can get the same service is N5,000.00!

All one needs to do is simply start with what one has and gradually work towards serving the market that pays more of what one wants, over time. If you work is good, the clients will hire you. People LOVE to look good!

In essence, the demand is there – Nigeria being a market in which females constantly demand for makeup services in various areas.

Smart ladies attending university would find acquiring this kind of skill useful in resisting peer pressures to fool around with Sugar Daddies to survive on campus etc.

And those ladies not on campus would be equally empowered to resist attempts by men or any other persons to control or manipulate them. This kind of business will make any female an empowered, independent woman in her own right!

That’s what I want my girls to become.

What about you?

PII 059: Read This And Understand Why Your Internet Access Is Sometimes Slow

Do you know what happens when you type a web address or URL (like www.tayosolagbade.com) into your Internet Explorer browser’s URL entry bar, and click “GO” or press “Enter”? Read this article to learn what happens, and how/why this process sometimes can become slow to the point that it frustrates users like yourself!

(TIP: This article is 10 years old this month. It was first published online via spontaneousdevelopment.com – now defunct – on 1st March 2007 | I republished it via tayosolagbade.com on Jun 29, 2012 – and I’m re-purposing it here, as a public service via tayosolagbade.com/sdnuggets – my blog – today, 27th March 2017)

CLICK HERE TO READ FULL ARTICLE

Tayo Solagbade's Performance Improvement IDEAS(PI Squared) Newsletter

Tayo Solagbade’s
Performance Improvement
IDEAS
(PI Squared) Newsletter

Monday 27th March 2017

Logo - Tayo Solagbade's Self-Development Academy


NB: This PI Squared newsletter will be published weekly, on Mondays, in place of the Speaking/Web Marketing IDEAS newsletter, starting from today – 15th February 2016.
I’m reinventing my Monday newsletter content and theme, to accommodate my vision of serving the growing audience of serious minded individuals and organizations reaching out to me, with information, education. news and research findings designed to help them do what they do better.

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View Tayo Solagbade's video tutorials and demonstrations on Facebook Productivity Tips, Web Marketing, and for his Custom MS Excel-VB driven software applicationsJoin the SD Nuggets community on Facebook.comConnect with Tayo on Twitter.comConnect with Tayo on Google PlusConnect with Tayo on LinkedIn.com

PII 059: Read This And Understand Why Your Internet Access Is Sometimes Slow

Continue reading…

PII 059: Read This And Understand Why Your Internet Access Is Sometimes Slow

 

[VIDEO] Excel Heaven Tutorial  09: Using Relative & Absolute Cell Addressing To Save Your Time and Effort In MS Excel

[Photo below] Screenshot of MS Excel Workbook for this week’s Tutorial  09 titled “Using Relative & Absolute Cell Addressing To Save Your Time and Effort In MS Excel”

xlh-tut09-26thmarch2017

The formula shown uses mixed cell addressing to generate dynamic cell output, as its location changes, by changing key cells it refers to in computing the desired values.

You build it in ONE cell, and simply copy it across ALL rows and columns in your spreadsheet report table.

It’s the smartest way to make use of your time and effort as a solutions developer with a focus of results.

In the screenshot tutorial video I created for this tutorial (sent to my Excel Heaven Club members), I explain the thinking involved in building this kind of formula, by demonstrating using dummy tabulated data for drinks sales by dates.

Click here to request a copy of the example workbook and video.

 

Empower Your Child to Develop Market Relevant Income Generating Competencies [True Story]

[Photo below is of my 8 year old daughter with made up eye brows on Friday, at a practical cosmetic makeup training workshop venue for youths that she and her 11 year old sister 11 have been attending since the start of the past week ending Fri 24th March 2017]

olu-friday-makeup-thb.

To make this possible for them, I’ve (VERY gladly) given up my normal work-from-home routine to take them down DAILY to attend what has been the first week of a 2 week long practical training workshop in Cosmetic Makeup and Gele Tying, here in Lagos.

They bought their own makeup tool kit on their very first day, and we’ve since connected with some “vendor” outlet to replenish their “stocks”.

It’s been so fulfilling to see my girls work closely with much older females from all walks of life, as they learnt to “draw” brows, using eye liner pencil, then apply eye shadow with contouring etc.

The excitement in their eyes all through the event each day, and when they eagerly, continue practising on themselevs HOURS after we return home in the evening/night makes me feel so fulfilled.

It’s obvious that their hearts are in it – just like they have demonstrated unending passion for baking all sorts of lovely stuff (e.g Pizza, Bread, Cakes, Chin-Chin, Cookies etc) using their trademark No-OVen Charcoal Stove method! (See photos of their baking projects at https://web.facebook.com/TemiandOluomasCharcoalStoveBaking/)

Next week, they will be learning how to apply lipstick, and other remaining aspects of cosmetic makeup. Then they’ll end with the last few day learning hoe to tie some exciting styles of Gele lol!

Suggestion to Parents: I’ve said it before,and I’ll say it again – Find out what your kid’s passion(s) is (are), and WORK with him/her to develop it (them) to income generating proficiency level. It’s the best gift you can give your child!!!!!

PS: Photos and videos coming soon.

ON-DEMAND WORKSHOP: One VERY LOW COST Way to Make Drinks You Can Sell, Using Fruit Peels – Right From Your Home…1n Less Than 2 Hours [Case Study: Tayo Solagbade’s Specialty Pineapple Peel-based Drinks & Cakes!]

[Photo] The cakes shown next to the short drinks bottles were made from Pineapple Peels by me (Tayo K. Solagbade) – just like the drinks in the bottles themselves.

Yes, the PEELS.

What’s more, the cakes were baked without using an oven.  I first began making the drinks in Calavi, Benin Republic. When I moved to Cotonou, I continued.

It all began in 2014, when I discovered a way to use pineapple peels in making drinks (fermented and non-fermented). Later I began using the peels in baking the cakes, I was making without using an oven.

As I noted in an article written back then, my first pineapple peel based cakes were far from pretty, but those made by my kids (also without an oven), with input from their mother, look much prettier (see below).

Continue reading…

http://tayosolagbade.com/index.php/others/order-tayo-s-drinks-cakes

We Make Our Own Things™ [Hint: Why You Should Too!]

Today, I took my 8 and 11 year old daughters to attend the 1st day in 10 day training on “Gele Tying and Cosmetic Makeup”.

The older girl was made to use the younger to practice what they were taught by the instructor.  As I type these, the 8 year old is in a room at their grandparents’ taking her turn to practice on her elder sister.

This is another chapter in their Vocational Skills Based Education.

Before today, for about 9 months now, they have worked together (with support from their brothers) to use their No-Oven Charcoal Stove to bake Pizza, Cakes, Bread, Chin-Chin, etc.

Read PII 041: Avoid Intellectual Laziness, Learn How Things Work…to Achieve Success [Hint: A Culture of Making Your Own Things is Key to Individual/National Development – See Photos of Home Made Ankara Slippers and Shoes Inside]

Below: This pair of ankara slippers were made from scratch by me and my 7 (now 8) year old daughter for her to wear casually to visit relatives, neighbours etc. Read more about it here.

ankara2

In late December 2016, they were introduced to the use of leather sheets and Ankara fabrics for repairs and restoration of shoes and palm slippers.

See photos of the many real life practicals they’ve done on their Facebook page at https://web.facebook.com/TemiandOluomasCharcoalStoveBaking/

My purpose has always been to teach them to THINK of making their own things, customized to meet their own needs, and using their skills to make money as the opportunity arises.

Below: This pair of ankara shoes were made by me and my 10 year old daughter using an old pair of worn out shoes she was planning to dump. We basically resurrected those shoes with Ankara material using ideas we got from a Youtube video by a creative Nigerian custom shoe making expert

ankara3

That’s what I do (and have been doing successfully for YEARS) – via www.tayosolagbade.com, www.excelheaven.biz and www.thefarmceo.net – selling my custom Excel-VB Software and Web Marketing/Freelance Writing Skills internationally using the web.

It’s a culture I’m trying to entrench in the family. The 11 year old girl got a Smartphone for her birthday last month, but we failed to find a good fitting pouch for it from vendors we visited. So, I proposed that we make her one that would even be personalized.

phone-pouch

phone-pouch3

Using a video I’d downloaded from the web, on making of leather wallets, I made the above shown pouch. I did not get it right the first time. And even now, it’s far from perfect.

But it fit quite nicely, and protects the phone even when it falls. What’s more, the young lady says she LOVES it – especially because her name is on it.

She watched me make it. Soon I’ll be teaching her to make it by herself…

phone-pouch2

My challenge to other parents is that they let their kids START acquiring income earning vocational skills alongside the academic education most push their kids into.

The reality of today’s world is that persons with marketable skills fare better when jobs are hard to find, because they can use their skills to get paid by those who need their services.

In my latest PDF Educational Commercial, going LIVE soon, I use a special mind map to explain the complementary alternative strategy I recommend smart parents adopt to give their kids balanced education that WORKS by empowering them to be financially independent. Click here to be notified when it goes LIVE.

 

Related: Order Our No-Oven Charcoal Stove Baked Cakes

In 2014, I discovered a way to use pineapple peels in baking cakes, without using an oven. My first cakes were far from pretty, but those made by my kids (also without an oven), with input from their mother, look much prettier (see below).

Title: One VERY LOW COST Way to Make Drinks You Can Sell, Using Fruit Peels – Right From Your Home…1n Less Than 2 Hours. Click to learn more.

In mid 2013, I wrote a special PDF report that is available as a free download. It’s titled:

Click here to learn more about my free talk…and also how you can get a copy of the above mentioned free PDF paper.