In business, and in life, our relationships with others often determine how well we succeed. How we handle conflicts, and even perceived slights can make or break cordial relations we’ve built with a client, partner, associate or friend.

This true story teaches a useful lesson from a humble, but successful Farm CEO client of mine.

Bello Hassan (real name) made his first purchase from me, of my Livestock Feed Formulation Handbook, and its accompanying Ration Formulator software in May 2011.

He’s based in Abuja, and has a farm business in Niger state. That’s effectively all I know about him.

Yet, since we’ve known each other, we’ve spoken and corresponded countless times on phone and email.

He’s been one of the most active of my past buyers in many ways.

His intelligent questions were used to create this 10 Frequently Asked Questions About Feed Formulation PDF I now offer as a FREE download.

Just last weekend I returned from Lagos, where I went to conduct a 4 hour one-on-one training session for a new buyer of my handbook and software.

Bello was the one who’d referred the Farm CEO to me. Read the story here.

So, it was a bit of a shock to me when Bello told me, 2 days ago, when I phoned him…

…that he had still not been able to login to the January 2013 upgrade version of the Ration Formulator I sent him!

But instead of making a fuss, he’d patiently continued using the version he bought in 2011!

I never knew this was happening all that time.

You see, I’d sent out the FREE upgrade version to all past buyers who’d requested it. Ronald Vaughan in Canada had written back to say he liked it. I liked Ronald’s comments so much I used them on my blog here.

Bello however later wrote in that he was unable to login to his custom copy of the app, despite using the password I’d sent him.

I naturally expressed my doubts, after checking on the copy with me, and finding no problem.

But to prove he was not crying wolf, he’d sent the application to his son based in Malaysia, who also found it impossible to login to the app.

Puzzled, I sent a copy to KC Cheung, my professional Excel programmer friend in Singapore, asking him to try logging in. KC (in his typical prompt manner) responded within an hour. He included screenshots. He also had no problems getting in via the normal login interface.

I was baffled. It did not make sense. And I was at a loss as to what to do.

Short of rebuilding the app just for Bello, that is…

One day, in his usual positive minded way, Bello phoned me to say he would be in Lagos for business the following week. He asked if we could meet so I could examine the app’s behaviour on his laptop. Unfortunately, I was not able to meet with him.

Later on I sent him another copy of the app. But it was still in the Excel 97 to 2003 compatibility format (which I now believe was the cause of the conflict he was experiencing).

When I called Bello again, he told me it did not work!

After that, events leading up to my relocation to Benin Republic (on 1st April 2013) made me forget about the issue.

But (selfish me!) I did not forget to call Bello for information….!

For instance, in September 2013, I was building a custom version of my Poultry Farm Manager for a farm in South West Nigeria (the CEO was then still based in Benin Republic).

I called to ask Bello if he or other farmers had experenced drops in layer performance due to the hot weather.

He readily shared his experience based information that tallied with my thinking at the time.

You see, the client had received farm performance figures that revealed sharp drops in daily eggs production, that had never occurred since the birds came into lay almost a year earlier.

The farm manager had said the hot weather was responsible. I’d argued to my client the drops were too sharp and sudden drop – within one week. To me, high temperatures would have produced more gradual changes.

The week that followed, mortalities climbed rapidly. By weekend the vet was called in, and post mortems revealed an outbreak of Salmonellosis! Now that explained the extreme drops much better.

I mentioned to my client that Bello had said “Tell the owner to look closer at what’s happening on the farm. People have layers here in the north, and it’s even hotter, but such serious sudden drops in production are not being recorded.”

Bello never brought up the matter of his inabiliy to log into the upgraded version again…

Yet he kept taking my calls, and sending referrals my way. What a great guy!

I on the other had had completely forgotten about it!

As fate would have it however, I called him 2 days ago to thank him for the most recent referral, and offered to send him the offer of the new mini version of my Poultry Farm Manager.

He replied by saying:

“You can send it. As long as the software won’t behave the same way the Ration Formulator behaved, that I was unable to login.”

I left my mouth open in disbelief, as I said “What? You mean you still have not been able to use it?”

He replied matter-of-factly, saying: “No. It never worked. I was unable to login!“

We were speaking on 30th January 2014. The problematic upgrade was sent to him on 20th January 2013…OVER a year before !

And this true gentleman had continued relating with me, with dignity, as if nothing was wrong!

There and then I told him I’d get back to him in 24 hours with a solution.

And I did…see screenshots below:

Final Words: The Lesson I’ve Learnt…for myself, and My Kids!

This morning, when I read Bello’s reply (shown above) confirming that he’d successfully logged in to the new version I sent him, I was ecstatic…my reply indicates that much!

In summary, I must say Bello’s (actually I should say “Alhaji Bello’s”) example has taught me to act with MORE tolerance, and consideration.

…and to HOLD my temper, refrain from drawing conclusions or judging anyone hurriedly.

The person you begrudge may be SINCERELY unaware you’re hurting, or that you’re not satisfied.

By being patient, and seeking positive ways to communicate your dissatisfaction, both of you can achieve progress, and build an even more mutually beneficial relationship.

I believe this lesson is worth teaching to one’s kids.

That’s why I’ll be sharing this story with mine when I get home on Monday evening.

PS: In case you’re wondering, Bello has not even the slightest idea that I’ve written this piece ;-))