I was recently opportune to help my kids overcome certain challenges I (accidentally) discovered they had with Math. This article was inspired by that experience. When was the last time you asked your child about school? Are you sure she’s doing well? Or could she be struggling with some basic concept that now makes learning with her peers less fun?

As adults we sometimes forget how difficult it can be for kids to find people who understand their needs e.g. when they are confused about a subject, or an issue.

Shyness Can Make A Child Suffer Academically – In Silence

No child wants to look stupid before her classmates.

I recall that in school I often avoided asking questions during class, if it appeared that most of my classmates had already grasped a concept I had issues with. That “shyness” eventually contributed to my failing math in the final year exam. It took 3 subsequent months of intensive tutorials in a private training centre to repair my poor foundation in that subject – after which I scored a straight A in the Nov/Dec G.C.E exam.

Without your close monitoring and timely intervention when appropriate, your child could develop a similar “hidden” handicap in one or more subjects. Without help, her grades could slip, with potentially serious implications.

This is why you owe her – and yourself – an obligation to keep abreast of her progress. Do you know her class teacher? Have you met with him/her to gain an impression of his/her personality, and disposition? Do you have his/her phone number, so you can call to confirm or discuss observations or trends you notice? These are things you could do in your child’s interest.

Every parent wants the best for his/her kids. But we should not stop at just “wanting”. We must go out of our way to help them get the best – which will at some point need personal involvement.
 
But quite often, some parents settle for actions that do not require their personal involvement. This is sometimes because they have demanding jobs that keep them busy. And so, if the child complains about problems with class work, they prefer to buy new books, get/change home tutors etc. They will often do anything to avoid having to personally attend to it.

Five (5) Minutes Spent Helping Your Child Learn Can Do Wonders for Her

Making out time to help your child with that academic exercise could enable you pass useful knowledge and insights about the subject to her. .

By investing quality time in coaching her on better ways to tackle subjects you are familiar with, you can literally help her climb to a new level of learning competence. Another useful outcome would be the self-confidence she could develop from learning that way from you.

Everything I say here is based on very recent occurrences with my own kids who I accidentally discovered to lack adequate understanding of some basic math principles. I immediately modified my work schedule, to coach them with practical exercises.

After 2 intensive weeks, a marked improvement has been achieved. I am now able  to task the eldest two, to teach their siblings the different techniques they’ve learnt from me.

There’s also a noticeable increase in enthusiasm they now display towards the subject that was not there before. For instance, yesterday I came home to find their workbooks piled on my table awaiting my attention. In the past, I had to chase them around to get them to finish assignments!

This proves that kids will not dislike any subject, if given a good introduction to it. They just need to be helped to understand it well enough to tackle tests you give them. We adults – parents and teachers – need to keep this in mind at all times.

It’s a human tendency to avoid things that do not give us pleasure. We must therefore help our children know their subjects well enough to find pleasure in studying them

The best way to do that is by coaching our children on the basic principles of any subject. Once they have that down, learning for them will become almost effortless. They would be able to independently derive their own solutions more often than not. And that would be proof that they have truly been educated!

“If you learn only methods you’ll be tied to your methods, but if you learn principles you can devise your own methods” ~Emerson

Below is a screenshot illustration of one of a number of techniques I use to teach kids basic math.

The emphasis is on training the child to find and use the shortest route in solving problems e.g. in objective tests. Time saved by doing so, can then be applied to solving more difficult questions.

I developed my interest in coaching kids on subjects like Math/Physics in 1993, during my year of national service as a secondary school teacher in a remote village in Niger state (which lacked electricity). Many of the SS3 students I had to teach struggled with certain basic principles. So I had to explore multiple alternative ways of presenting the SAME information to them, until they had a firm grasp of the concept.

Final Words: Beyond School, Your Child Could Need Help In Other Ways

Although I have dwelt on school work, your child could – figuratively speaking – be screaming for help in so many other areas of life.

For example, she could be conflicted about whether or not to give in to peer (or boyfriend) pressure to have pre-marital sex. Or she could be on the receiving end of bullying or some other form of abuse.

It could be anything – even sexual abuse
!

YOU need to get so close to your child, and study her so well, that you can reasonably tell if/when something is bothering her.

Make conscious effort to know what’s going on in your child’s life, so you can provide necessary support or corrective influence before things get out of hand.

I’m not trying to preach at anyone here. A lot of my passion for the subject of parenting comes mainly from reflection on what I have gone through as a child – and also from observing other parents, and their children.

Hopefully, you will find something useful to take away from all that I have said above.