Preamble

My son is celebrating his 14th birthday today (in Nigeria, while I’m here in Benin Republic) – and his uncle, my brother-in-law, is a year older as well

I’m preparing to send him a special happy birthday song (MP3) I will record in French, with a couple of friends out here in Calavi, Benin Republic

This article is based on a “sermon” I’ve always preached to him.

As most people in my family know, while I rarely forget anything related to my work, I readily forget even my own birthday! Sometimes it’s when someone sends a birthday wish via SMS or email that I remember

Definitely nothing to be proud of. I’m working hard to change. This article is proof of it…LOL!

Now, to the message for my son…and possibly your child, if you think s/he can benefit.

Dear (insert child’s name here)

First of all, Happy Birthday to you and your Uncle!

I’m sure you’ll agree that today is an even more special day because I actually REMEMBERED it’s your birthday…Hurray!!

I’m not perfect. There are many shortcomings I need to work on in my life. This selective forgetfulness is definitely one of them.

However, despite all my weaknesses, I have ONE strength that gives me the needed edge to forge ahead in life. I have spoken to you about it a lot.

It happens to be the greatest GIFT I am capable of giving you. With it, you can more successfully manage yourself and your affairs in relation to others you meet.

I’m hoping this message helps you grasp its importance fully, so you can use it more effectively.

The GIFT? It’s YOUR Ability to Think for Yourself!

The greatest power any person can have is the power to think for him/herself. By implication, the greatest disservice you can do to yourself is to let others do your thinking for you.

I offer below, 6 tips you can follow, to actualize your potential, by thinking for yourself

1. When You Can Think for Yourself, You Will Never Be at the Mercy of Others.

This is because you will not be "needy", constantly seeking the opinions of others. To make up your mind about what you should or should not do. About what is right or not right for you. Regarding who to associate with or not. What (or who) to believe in, or not. And so on

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You will always be in control of the choices and options you settle on. And that includes deciding who to vote for anytime there are elections at any level. Whether in your school, or elsewhere.

Even when you lack money or other material possessions, no one will be able to offer them as an enticement to get you to do what you normally would not do.

It’s the way your creator made you. That’s why he gave a you a brain that is NOT connected to other people’s brains! Yours is meant to function INDEPENDENTLY of others. Every time you use it that way for your thinking, you will get closer to actualizing the potential he put in you.

2. Thinking for Yourself Will Help You Learn More/Faster – by Discovery

Have you ever known anyone who could do (almost) nothing on his/her own? The kind who always need someone else to help them think through the tiniest decision making challenge?

Who will never be confident or comfortable enough to go ahead and take action based on his/her independent thoughts and assessment of a situation?

I have. And it can get very tiring – even when it’s a loved one. Don’t get me wrong. I’ll always be ready to answer your questions. I know there’s a lot you need to learn.

But I also want you to develop the ability to LEARN BY DISCOVERY.

This means being willing to go out and find answers to your questions by yourself. And not always believing you need to swallow what others say hook, line and sinker. That way, even when someone you ask is not forthcoming, you will always be able to discover alternative ways to get reliable answers.

You will then use those answers to add value to others – including me! – via intellectually stimulating discussion. You see, I want to learn through YOU as well, because I cannot know it all!

Every human being has – built into him or her by the creator – an inherent ability to do anything s/he thinks about.

3. Thinking for Yourself Can Inspire Others to Support (and Believe In) You

Our societal upbringing makes looking inward for solutions to your daily challenges a bad thing.

You’re told you cannot know it all. No one is an island. You can’t do it all by yourself.

Well, that’s all true.

However, at some point you have to be able to step out and take a stand on something. You cannot keep reaching out for “thinking” support like a child learning to walk.

At some point in your life you have to start applying your UNIQUE God-given intelligence to come up with your own original thoughts, ideas and solutions.

Funny enough, taking ownership of your thinking in this manner can even inspire others to support you. I say this from personal experience.

4. Don’t Make the Mistake of Discounting Other People’s Experiences

But don’t overdo it. There will come times when it will be wise to seek the input of others. The thinking you’ve done will help you better assess the potential usefulness of the ideas they offer.

What is important is that you should take ownership of the process. Don’t just take orders about what to do with your life – no matter how successful or knowledgeable the other person seems.

5. FLEE…From Anyone Who Tries To Dictate What/How You Think!

If you ever come across anyone – associate, acquaintance, partner, friend, or relative, who continually seeks to think for you, and rarely approves of what you come up with through your own thinking…watch out!

That is a sign of a manipulative individual.

Quite often the purpose is to keep you feeling inadequate, making you believe you lack the capacity to do any productive thinking on your own. That’s the biggest lie anyone can tell you about yourself. Reject it with passion!!

6. Thinking for Yourself Will Equip You to Fight Your Own Battles In Life

In conclusion, I want to remind you never to be comfortable with having others fight your battles for you like you’re an invalid. Never accept to be an observer when issues concerning your life are to be decided.

Even the physically handicapped refuse to let themselves be treated in that manner.

Do that and know that I will ALWAYS have your back.

But I will be even more proud to know that you can hold your own – anywhere – even in the face of pressure from your peers.

That you can come up with intelligent strategies to recover from setbacks you encounter; and also handle bullies, as well as members of the opposite sex.

That you have a mind of your own, and will never be afraid to use it – regardless of whose Ox is gored to death as a result!

It would give me great pleasure to see you demonstrate that ability competently.

And when you are able to do THAT, YOU should feel proud of yourself!

I love you.