I asked the students of the University of Lagos who attended my VC Approved lecture (titled “Ten Ways You Can Use Self-Development to Create the Future You Want”) the following rhetorical question:

“Is your rich uncle really “stingy”, or is he being “frugal?”

To older persons, I would re-phrase the question as follows:

Kids Sometimes Choose Favorites for the Wrong Reasons E.g. Money

As children in Nigeria, many of us grew up frequently judging older persons around us based on their relative willingness to part with money.

There were those who were particularly generous, always giving large denominations for us to buy "sweets" etc. Those ones we loved to welcome whenever they visited our homes!

But, there were those who were less generous for (in our own assessment) no good reason. We were therefore never really excited when they visited, and would often have to be chased out of our rooms by our parents to welcome them!

It is not uncommon to hear children or young people describe some of their parents or relatives (uncles etc), as "stingy" because of the latter’s seeming reluctance to part with money.

What a lot of youths (perhaps because of their age) do not realise is that these (supposedly) "stingy" persons might truly not have enough money on them at the time the demand is made.

Help Your Kids Understand That Money Needs To Be Earned

Many young people tend to think their parents should hand over money to them as soon as they (the children) demand for it. Of course even if the parents were willing, it isn’t often that the parent’s will have it! And even when they do have it, more pressing priorities might make it necessary to give less than the child demands.

We need to teach our children, as early in life as possible, that money does not just fall into our hands from the sky. We need to help them learn that they must create "value" for money to come into their possession. We must also take pains to explain to them why we might not be able to give them money, sometimes, when they ask for it.

Now, for those parents and guardians who can afford to give children money whenever they ask for it, this warning is even more relevant, because the dangers are greater.

Keep giving them what they ask for, whenever they ask for it and you stand the risk of making them happy in the short term only to be unhappy in the longer term (They won’t forgive YOU for that!).

This is because, they would not have learnt the discipline of handling money, and especially how to earn it – and I don’t mean through paid employment.

I know the subject of money and how to spend it is one that interests and affects most people. I also know it is one that not many people really understand.

I do not however claim to be an expert on the subject, but I have read what others have said about it and learnt some hard lessons of my own too! That is why I offer the ideas in this write-up with so much passion!

Money Needs To Be Treated With Respect

In a past issue of his TIPs newsletter that I read many years ago, Philip Humbert (www.philiphumbert.com) described successful people as being very thoughtful about issues concerning money and how it is spent.

He said they treat money with respect, and that’s why they get more of it.

In fact, Philip described money as a very shy guest in people’s homes that will quickly make an exit if not well treated.

If there is nothing else you take away from reading this article, please take this piece of advice: Don’t spend without thinking!

The little book titled "The millionaire next door" describes the real millionaires in America (based on studies conducted by the authors) as not those people who appear on TV in flashy clothes, spending heavily etc.

I’ve found a lot of the book’s quite relevant to my non-American socioeconomic environment – with just a few exceptions. That’s why I suggest you get a copy of the book, if you do not already own one – and read it from cover to cover at least twice.

The book says the real millionaires in America are often not dressed flashily and will rarely be found flaunting their wealth via heavy unbudgeted spending etc.

In fact, the book specifically mentioned that the millionaires identified and studied confirmed that they kept very detailed records of how much they spent daily and regularly reviewed them.

In addition, the millionaires were found to be typically "bargain hunters" who would often go round comparing prices before deciding on what to buy and where to buy from.

One more thing: many of the male millionaires were reported to have acknowledged their wives as being very instrumental to their effective money management. The book described the wives of many of the millionaires studied as being very frugal.

Final Words:

Now, going by all that has been said above, isn’t it funny that those who do not even begin to approach being called millionaires in society are the ones who do the exact opposite of what the millionaires mentioned above do daily?

Look around you (and maybe at yourself?) and see if you find "someone" guilty of going shopping and buying stuff from posh places "just to look good" or "belong" for instance.

Your child’s attitude to money will be a reflection of how she sees you treat that powerful paper based medium of exchange. Coach her to see that money needs to be carefully handled, as pointed out above.

She’ll leave home better equipped to keep more of what she earns in her pockets – and in savings/investment accounts.

And she would be bettor off in the long run!

NB: This article is based on excerpts from Tayo Solagbade’s Self-Development Bible on sale as a 113 page print manual at www.lulu.com/sdaproducts. Subscribe to the mailing list – using the form below – to get the PDF version as a free download in your email box.