How To Discover What Your Child REALLY Wants To Be In Life

This post is based on excerpts from a 19 page ebook I wrote (titled “How to Help Your Child Discover His/Her Purpose”) which I never published – for reasons I still cannot fathom

How many of us adults knew exactly what we wanted to do or be in life, when we were our kids’ ages? I once heard of someone who discovered after finishing from medical school, that what he actually wanted to do in life was professional fashion designing!

Similar examples abound in our society today. I’m sure you can think of some yourself – so I will not bore you with more.

Many Adults Are Living Lives of Regret

Many adults/parents today spend every day in jobs they do not enjoy doing. Some pay well. Others yield what could best be described as slave wages. And yet, the workers still keep coming back each day. In many cases, the affected individuals feel too far-gone in age to change things.

Many also worry about the risks involved – especially as it relates to caring for their families while making the transition. This is quite often a valid fear to have. Giving up a steady source of income to pursue self-actualization can prove quite tasking. This is especially true for persons who have to provide for their families.

But if truth be told, life is too short to keep driving on the safe lane all the time. One of the best ways to conquer one’s demons is to confront one’s greatest fears. It never pays to live a life that ends with multiple regrets about what could have been.

We Can Spare Our Kids the Same Fate

My observations out here reveal that many adults are simply not prepared to take the required leap of faith to pursue self-actualization. Thankfully, for such persons all is not lost. The lesson from their narrow miss can be put to use in preparing their kids to achieve self-discovery earlier in life.

I have personally vowed not to let my kids go through the needless pains of LATE self-discovery I had to endure well into my late twenties.

And that’s why I am already putting my knowledge of what worked or did not work for me (it could work for my kids) at their disposal. Among other things, we periodically discuss whether or not they could adopt my approach or evolve a better one.

The objective is to make the kids better prepared to confidently answer this question: What do you want to be in life?

A child that has undergone the kind of preparation I advocate here is unlikely to give the usual kind of answer like “Lawyer! Doctor!” and so on. Instead she’s more likely to respond with a detailed description of her vision or ultimate goal/purpose in life.

Then of course, things like being a Lawyer, Doctor etc could be part of it, but would not be all of it.

This last point is quite important. Children lacking the kind of preparation I’m talking about tend to respond too automatically to the “What do you want to be in life” question.

This happens because no one has helped them think through what they really want to do. Little effort has been invested by competent adults to help such kids discover their true/natural interests. That’s what would accurately inform their choice of vocations or professions in life!

The above stated problem leads to situations in which a graduate Doctor drops her degree, to launch what eventually becomes a successful Fashion Design career.

It Took Me Seven Years To Discover I Made A Wrong Choice!

In my case, I did not know what I wanted to do in life even as at the time I was observing my one year of national youth service at the age of 22.

All I knew was that I had obtained a university degree in Agricultural Extension Services, after five years. And I wanted to get a reasonably good paying job – somewhere…somehow!

In other words, I was – at the time – a typical product of the traditional educational system!

That attitude of just wanting to get a job explains why I took countless tests to get employment in insurance companies, audit firms, manufacturing organizations etc.

I did not – and could not afford to – discriminate because I was not prepared for the world I found myself in. A world in which the government employment options open to people with my qualifications, promised disappointing remuneration – which common knowledge assured would not (back then at least) necessarily be paid as and when due.

It was honestly a period of extreme confusion and frustration for me.

“After all that schooling (and a good 2nd class upper degree) and NOBODY wants me?

” I asked myself.

It took me a long time to get over the trauma. And I actually spent over seven years working as an employee in a field totally unrelated to my qualification, before I finally realized that what I really wanted to do in life was to be an entrepreneur.

I Want To Spare My Kids That Kind of Experience

That’s why each of my kids gets quality discussion and attention time from me every day. We do so many things together – including encouraging each person to show off his/her unique abilities. This process has helped us identify what they are individually good at, and passionate about.

For instance, my third son is gifted at fixing things – especially electrical stuff. He’s just nine, but displays an uncanny ability to assemble and disassemble all sorts of electrical appliances. And many times he has surprised all of us by fixing some items we had concluded no longer worked.

What I’ve done is to always pass any damaged electrical stuff to him – including my laptop adapters, rechargeable lamps, flash drives and so on. He keeps them neatly arranged in a large box. Every now and then he brings them out and pretends to be doing a presentation to an audience about how they work!

Even his grand parents already acknowledge that he’s likely to follow in the footsteps of his uncle (my brother) who studied Electrical Electronics and immediately after graduation started an IT company in Abuja.

Final Words

Carefully nurturing a child’s natural interest in a potentially viable vocation can help prepare her to achieve self-discovery early in life.

This would be to the benefit of both the child and the parents. That’s because you’d be sure to spend money providing the right kind of formal schooling or education for her.

This could help her develop true genius in her chosen field – the kind that leads to notable accomplishments. In other words, she would live a fulfilled life, without regrets of any sort!

If you truly love your child, I urge you to start making out time to discover what she wants to be in life, from today.

It’s likely to be the wisest investment of your life.

Comments?

What do you think of the above post? Do you have any personal experience to share on this subject? Are there some other points you feel can be added, to help persons looking for answers? Share your thoughts below.