You Can Agree to Disagree and Still LOVE (Tribute to my father at 80!)

Photo: My father – Ezekiel Oluwajimi (E.O) Solagbade – cuts his 80th birthday anniversary cake on Tuesday 4th Feb. 2014, with my mom (his wife for 43 years now). Dad is a Civil and Structural Engineer by profession. I absolutely LOVED the cake, because it was beautifully decorated to depict technical drawing tools he uses!

Dad & Mom Cutting the 80th Birthday Anniversary “Structural Engineering Cake!”

Close Up Photo - The cake is beautifully decorated to depict technical drawing tools Dad uses!

 

A little history: Before starting his consulting outfit, Dad supervised the construction of some major roads across the country, while with the Ministry of Works – in the 60’s. This meant he had to travel a lot – with my mother.

It was during one of those periods “on the road” that I was born, on 6th July 1970 in a place called New Bussa.

New Bussa used to be in Kwara State, but following the redefinition of state boundaries some years ago, it now falls into Niger State.

(NB: I still have my ORIGINAL birth certificate issued back then. The paper is all brown now, but still very legible.)

Deciding to Visit my “Place of Birth” During my NYSC Service Year (1992/93)

As a student, I’d always filled “New Bussa” in forms while trying to imagine what the place looked like. So, when the time came to go for my one year of mandatory service as a member of the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC), I wrote a letter requesting the NYSC directorate to send me to Niger state.

This was in 1992/93 (I’d completed my degree course at the University of Ibadan, in Oyo state, in 1992)

They were glad to approve my request since the scheme had always been intended to promote regional integration. Here was this Tayo Solagbade, Yoruba guy, asking to be posted to Niger state in the middle belt area of the country.

It was perfect…for them…and for me (or so I thought…LOL).

So I Got Deployed to Spend My Service Year in Niger State…In a REAL VILLAGE!

But my place of primary assignment, much as I’d hoped it would be, was NOT New Bussa.

Instead it was a remote Vatsa village (Yes, “THE late”General Vatsa’s village), on the outskirts of the state.

At the time, they were NOT connected to the National Grid!

For a guy raised in the city, this would turn out to be a perfect introduction to REAL village life…and I fell in LOVE with it!

Newspapers typically arrived 3 days late. Yep. And they didn’t always come…LOL!.

Plus, if you were still there by 5 to 6p.m, you would most likely NOT find any commercial transportation to leave…till the next day!

Sitting Out The June 12 Presidential Election Riots

You may recall the June 12 crisis happened during that service year(?)

Well, 4 fellow NYSC members and I were stuck in that village all through that crisis period!

We only heard the little news that filtered in about the elections and the riots that followed.

Then, we began to see lorries carrying the belongings of Igbos who were fleeing from their Northern bases back to their homes in the East.

The Niger State NYSC director would later come around to visit us.

I recall him telling us we were safer where we were(in the village), than we would be if we tried making it back to our various homes in the south.

Well, back then, it turned out he was right.

None of us got harrassed or disturbed by anyone.

We lived amongst the people – who were mostly farm-loving Gwaris.

I made many great friends amongs them – teachers, and students alike. We made friends with Mohammed Vatsa…the late general’s son.

He was the ONLY person (if I recall correctly) who owned a generator (albeit small – the “I pass my neighbour” type) in the entire village at the time. So we used to spend time with him watching films…poor Corpers we were…LOL!

Demonstration of REAL LOVE from a father!

However, I tell this story to paint a picture of what life was like back then, for youth corpers.

Danger was certainly not something that bothered us.

Unlike today when serving outside your region can pose real dangers – for you…sadly.

During that June 12 crisis, my father kept sending messages through a cousin of ours who owned/ran his business in Abuja (Gwagwalada was just about one hour’s drive from the village).

His Experience of the Kano riots in his younger days, made him believe I was in danger. So he kept sending messages, refusing to accept my replies that I was safe and well, until I agreed to move into my cousin’s house in Abuja.

I stayed there for about 2 weeks.

My Dad scolded me when he finally got to speak with me on the phone.

He said “Look anything can happen. You need to take precautions and protect yourself from danger.”

We all (i.e. my siblings and I) enjoyed such protective gestures from him (and my mother).

Nothing compares to it!

Dad & Mom, flanked by me &my wife (of 14 years -Nkechi)...ehm & one more person...lol

Final Words: We (i.e. Dad and I) Do NOT, of Course, Get Along All The Time…

That’s a fact of life.

No two people ever do.

We’ll always have our differences!

Indeed there was a time when Dad and I argued – sometimes quarrelled(!)- quite a bit 😉

But even those interactions have made me better as a person.

I’ve learnt to appreciate that people will periodically hold divergent, uncompromising views from mine…and to be OKAY with it.

The truth is we CAN always agree to disagree!

Here’s wishing my SUPER DAD, many more prosperous years filled with joy, good health, happiness, and MORE grandchildren!!!!

Dad, Mom, and grandchildren (my kids)

PS: In next Friday’s post on parenting, I’ll share a story about how he found out I was secretly keeping a baby turtle in our home – and gave me a thorough thrashing…LOL!

Dad and Mom...with ‘Tomi - my sister and her husband, Ayo.

 

Dad & Mom.with Tutu , my sister who came in from the UK to represent her family. Her husband (Segun) & kids could not make it, due to work /school

 

Dad & Mom. + entire family...my brothers Victor(beside Ngozi - wife) & Femi (behind Peju - wife)

 

 

 

Dad and Mom...with Victor - my brother, and his wife, Ngozi

 

Dad and Mom...with Femi - my brother, and his wife, Peju

Why Your Child May Need a Liberal Arts Education to Succeed

“One of the benefits of a liberal arts education is that it trains the mind to think.” – Albert Einstein

Einstein was a famous “Theoretical Physicist”…who thought up amazing theories, that changed our lives.

Now Here’s Something Many People Miss About Einstein’s Achievements:

You see, he was a SCIENTIST. That means he specialised in the field of science.

…not the arts…like literature, drama, history, music, philosophy, languages etc:

Yet this great scientist – renowned for his achievements in Physics – asserted that a liberal arts education trains the mind to think!

One is (at Least I Am) Tempted to Ask: So What Do Science Subjects Do Then?

Don’t people do plenty of thinking during the study of science in schools and universities?

In truth, thinking of different kinds exist…or happen.

Studying math requires the student to accept certain assumptions in thinking up a solution. It also defines limits within which such thinking is to be done.

In other words, there are rules (sometimes strict ones) guiding thinking, and the outcome to be arrived at.

For instance, in math, physics or chemistry, you have to work with basic assimptions provided, in solving problems.

But in the arts, such as literature, emphasis is placed more on reading up material, then having learners voice their interpretations of the material read.

Rarely is there one particular correct answer.

Instead, different veiws as adopted by the learners, using their unique experiences are accepted, and reviewed for merit.

Very often, the entire class is required to engage in the process of reviewing each individual’s submission. Feed back is provided with a view to helping each person refine the thinking s/he employed to arrive at his/her voiced opinion.

Most importantly, each participant, over time, comes to discover that there is value to be had in patiently waiting to hear others out.

Even when they voice contrary opinions or dissenting views.

They learn that perspectives from which issues on various important subjects in life, can be viewed, can vary greatly from person to person.

And many times they learn that rarely will one answer cover all possible scenarios.

Learners are taught to be comfortable with challenging their own assumptions about issues. They develop a habit of constant self-evaluation.

Rigid views and intolerance, arising from narrow perspectives thus become alien: the mark of truly liberated minds!

It is this kind of mental attitude that a liberal arts education nurtures in those who undergo it.

Some of the greatest people in the world have been those referred to as “thinkers”.

They were often those who spent quality time and effort constantly reflecting on how things were, and how they could be better.

That’s why today, we still find ourselves quoting many of them, many years, decades, even centuries after they passed on.

Examples include Voltaire, Socrates, Plato, Emerson etc.

We all know Einstein came up with amazing theoretical assumptions which were proven to be accurate and on which a lot of our progress was built.

He was able to do that because he knew how to think.

His thinking was not hampered by limitations imposed by traditional society.

I believe this was the reason Sir Ken Robinson, in one of his videos about education, made the point that conventional schools all over the worlds tend to “kill creativity” in people.

We Need to Give People – Our Kids Especially – Real World Relevant Education

A real education has to give equal weight to the arts, the humanities, to physical education. ” — Sir Ken Robinson

“Kids prosper best with a broad curriculum that celebrates their various talents, not just a small range of them. ” — Sir Ken Robinson

View this useful slideshow titled “Quotes from Sir Ken Robinson’s 2013 TED Talk

He pointed out that relative to other areas, schools put arts at the bottom of the curriculum, ranking them, by implication, least important…and according them the least attention.

The points made above, along with Einstein’s quote, and historical evidence available, indicates that arts are crucial for our evolution and progress.

That’s why I believe we need to
deliberately incorporate more liberal arts, into formal education we provide at all levels of society.

The study of subjects like history, sociology, philosophy, music, dance, drama etc must be made more integral to the completion of formal education in our traditional schools.

This will over time equip learners with the critical thinking skills that societies need, to ensure they can continue evolving/progressing.

My Opinion On This Subject is Based on Personal Experience – NOT Theory (A Confession)

I discovered great pleasure and fulfillment from attending courses in sociology, psychology, and philosophy during my stay in the university. And I came away feeling more knowledgable, even wiser about life, and the world in general from taking those courses.

Yet, I was majoring in Agricultural Extension Services at the time, so I could not afford to puruse further studies in them.

To make up for that loss, I developed a driving need to buy and read any books even remotely related to those subjects.

As a multipreneur, my core competencies are in mainly intellectually demanding vocations, that require considerable creativity and innovative thinking.

I can confidently say my deliberate self-study of the arts has been a crucial ingredient in my ability to succeed in various areas of endeavour as a multipreneur.

As you leave this article, take this thought provoking quote from Sir Ken Robinson with you, as a reminder of why you need to act on what you’ve read here:

“Many highly talented, brilliant, creative people think they’re not — because the thing they were good at at school wasn’t valued, or was actually stigmatized.”

I’ll add to the above quote by saying…

”and that probably includes your own child!”

A. Further Reading

1. This Wikipedia article explains that a “Liberal Arts Education”aims to “produce a virtuous, knowledgeable, and articulate person”.

Doesn’t that remind you of Plato, Socrates and co…?

In the early days, core subjects like “Grammar, rhetoric, and logic” were taught to students.

Today, we are told “areas of literature, languages, philosophy, history, mathematics, psychology, and science” tend to be the focus.

I recommend, strongly, that you read this article.

2. You may also find it useful to read this excellent article titled “Why Study Liberal Arts?” by Richard Sigurdson

He is a former Acting Dean of Arts, The University College of the Cariboo, Kamloops, B.C. Canada.

And he does us ALL a favour by providing a list of questions and answers that help to demystify “Liberal Arts Studies” in terms of their real world relevance/usefulness.

Indeed, his article will help ANYONE understand why Eistein said what he did, about the benefits of a Liberal Arts Education. I urge you to read it.

B. Sir Ken Robinson’s Videos You Can Watch Include:

1. How schools kill creativity(1st video)

2. How to escape education’s death valley (scroll down page to 2nd video)

3. Bring on the learning revolution(scroll down page to 3rd video)

4. Changing Education Paradigms

5. Why is Creativity Important in Education?

C. What Sir Ken Robinson Got Wrong (Huh?)

I always love to present information and education I offer on my website, in a balanced form.

That’s why when I encounter ideas that oppose those I advocate, and I feel they have merit, or are worthy of discussion/consideration, I try to highlight them.

Some people happen to disagree with Sir Ken Robinson. That’s not unexpected. Everyone cannot see things the same way all the time!

And one of them has articulated – very intelligently – the major points and areas they do not see eye to eye with him on this suibject.

I’ve read the article, and I appreciate the points he raised.

But to be fair, most of them actually do NOT prove Robinson is wrong. And I am glad someone was able to make this clarification – in the comments – to the article’s author.

You should read this article too.

If nothing else, it may help you gain a balanced perspective from which to draw your own conclusions.

Remember: What matters most is the impact in the lives of the leaners – who are, very often, our kids.

“A person who cannot “think”, and does not know he cannot “think”, will get himself – and any who depend on the output from his thinking – into lots of trouble!” – Tayo K. Solagbade

Do We Really Become More Prone to “Forgetting” As We Grow Older?

In 2003, I wrote my popular research based article (titled “When You Grow Old, Your Brain Does Not”. It has since been republished via syndication on many websites. If you believe your mental abilities will diminish because you’re aging, think again.

Do We Really Become More Prone to “Forgetting” As We Grow Older?

In yesterday’s post, I narrated the events in which my Nokia phone got stolen in a taxi I took from the Seme border into Lagos.

I noted that recent instances of “forgetfulness” (e.g. 2 incidences in Cotonou, in which I left my Blackberry smart phone behind in public places, but was lucky to have it returned to me both times) made it possible for the eventual theft of my other phone – a Nokia double SIM handset for my two MTN business lines.

A friend who read that article via the link auto-shared on Facebook, however made an interesting contribution that got me thinking about an article I wrote 7 years earlier.

He expressed the opinion that aging, and not necessarily work pressure, was often more responsible for such seeming increase in forgetfulness, or absent mindedness.

According to him, from the age of 40 upwards, this diminishing ability to retain stuff in one’s memory becomes more obvious. Regardless of one’s brilliance, he said it would happen.

Then he offered suggestions/tips on how to cope with it.

I saw the point he was making…

However, I knew from my demonstrated abilities even alongside persons half my age, that my experience was different.

What I know about aging, and how it affects the brain, is something I have often used so effectively, that it’s gotten many clients to compliment me, and younger persons to marvel.

This is NOT an attempt to brag or exaggerate. Just a simple statement of facts.

People Need to Know The Truth About The Brain, and How Aging Affects It!

While working in paid employment, with a large corporate manufacturing multinational, I reported to an expatriate Senior Manager, who was about 65, if I recall correctly. One of the things he was well known and respected for, was his amazing ability to remember/recall anything and everything said in meetings, written in reports, emails or discussed verbally.

For an “old” man, he had an exceptionally sharp mind and brilliant memory. You could not say one thing to him this week about why your department failed to meet the brewery target, and get away with changing ANY fine detail next week, if the matter came up again.

But he was not the only one. During the seven (7) year period I spent in that company, I worked with a number of over 50 to 60 year olds, at various levels in the organisation. Some were colleagues in the brewing department; others were junior staff/process operatives who were assigned supervisory roles.

A few were highly skilled technicians with specialties in areas where the company struggled with manpower. This made it necessary for this last group to constantly be on demand on site – leading to near round the clock duty runs on some busy days when plant problems required their presence.

What struck me was that they often delivered performance at par with what the rest of us who were younger.

I was then LESS than 30 years old at the time...

You could rarely fault them for “forgetting” things. Indeed, many times, WE depended on them to remind us of what was to be done, how etc.

As evidence of their abilities despite aging, some of them, upon formal retirement, got formally engaged as external consultants or on contract basis to serve the company in the same role they played before leaving!

The company’s decision makers wisely assigned younger, less experienced hands to formally undergo coaching at the hands of these “veterans”. This equipped the former to step into competently step into the latter’s shoes.

The above observations led me to do some SERIOUS investigation about retirement, aging, and how it relates to work performance.

I read stories and dug up research findings.

What I discovered was shocking.

And it changed my thinking about aging, as it relates to the brains ability to perform it’s key functions – an important one being memory recall.

I could not keep what I learnt to myself.

The knowledge enabled me liberate myself psychologically, in terms of how I believe aging would affect my brain power.

And I felt others needed to know, that what we were being told about aging was mostly untrue.

That was why – in 2003 – I wrote my article titled “Your Company May Be Losing Money By Retiring Employees When They Clock 60 Years – And Above!

In 2007, I decided to publish it online as a PDF – downloadable from the members-only section of my website. That version – with the contents remaining basically the same – was re-titled “When You Grow Old, Your Brain Does Not“.

My article has since been republished on others websites, by owners – indicating its message resonated with readers.

I Now Invite YOU, to Read The Article Yourself: One of the things you’ll learn about is “Brain Training”, and how it helps to keep the brain “fit” no matter what age a person arrives at!

Read it, and have your eyes opened to the amazing power your brain will continue to possess even when you enter your late nineties!

Below: Screenshot image of the cover of the PDF version of the report. To get a copy, signup to join my mailing list. An auto response containing download link and instructions (for 10 reports, one of which is this PDF on Aging) will be dispatched to the email address you provide.
PDF Download - When You Grow Old, Your Brain Does Not!

Proof That Poverty Cannot Make People Steal…If They Don’t Want To (A True Story)

One minute the phone was next to my elbow in the space behind the hand brake, the next minute I was looking all over the taxi to find it. The driver asked “When did you last see it?” “I called my mother just before we left the border” I replied in a puzzled voice. (The events described here occurred between 7 and 9p.m yesterday, Monday 3rd February 2014).

(I’d told her I was taking a taxi, and would need some Nigerian naira, since banks had closed, and I could not change the Euros I had with me.)

As I said this and continued searching for my phone, the two young Nigerian girls in the back, whose conversations had revealed they were returning from a university they attended in Benin Republic, giggled repeatedly.

Their male colleague remained silent. I did not look back, but wondered how anyone could find what I’d said funny.

I had my Blackberry in my hand, but the SIM card in it was for my MOOV/Etisalat line in Benin Republic.

Once we’d left the border, the Internet Service on it had stopped, as usual. Normally at this point I would have switched the SIM card for my MTN Nigeria line on which I also subscribe to the Blackberry Internet Service.

But that SIM card was in the missing Nokia double SIM handset – as was the SIM card for my MTN line in Benin Republic. Both lines were the ones listed on my website i.e. my business lines (+229-66-122-136 and +234-803-302-1263).

So, I could not make calls on my Blackberry, as it was not possible to purchase airtime or load it from the Nigerian end (I still struggle to wonder why. Maybe I need some coaching…???). The driver offered me his handset, so I could call the MTN Nigeria line. I tried and was told “The number you’re calling is switched off. Please try again later.” I handed the phone back to him saying “It’s been switched off. I never left the car, and yet it’s gone. This is rather strange.”

The young ladies in the back, whose nauseatingly shallow line of conversations had continued, once again began giggling, just as I made that pronouncement.

I’d been tempted to think they had something to do with the phone’s disappearance. But I’d pushed the thought out of my mind.

However, their continued giggling, as if on queue, made me think back to when I last saw the device. It was about 10 minutes before the girls and their male student friend came in.

I tried remembering how they got into the car. I concentrated and played the scene back in my head.

That was when I recalled that the girl in the middle had found it necessary to pile three sachets of pure water, on the compartment behind the hand brake – just between my seat and the driver’s seat.

That was where I’d placed the phone in order to shut the door, when the driver quickly jumped in to move the car forward in the motor park. It was after that, that the trio got in.

It occurred to me that the water sachets were probably used to cover the phone, so they could withdraw it from beneath, without being noticed.

One thing was certain. I’d never stepped out of the car since getting in. So if the phone was not in the car, there was a very good chance it had been taken by these young people. .

But I kept this thought to myself.

Why?

Because past experience (from observation) has taught me, that people who choose to stoop that low to do things like that, can be quite good at hiding (or disposing of) what they take.

Demanding to search them would create a scene. And if one was unsuccessful in finding it on them (e.g. since it was night, it could be thrown out the window in a flash!) they would turn around to claim they’d been falsely accused.

I’ve been around enough, especially growing up in Nigeria, to have seen this happen. Suddenly, the thief is telling the accuser, who is actually in the right, to apologise to him for the false accusation!

So instead of starting a war, I chose to deliberately engage the driver in a conversation meant to pass a message across to the young people.

Whether or not they chose to take it did not matter to me.

I told him how, on two separate days – just last week – in Cotonou, I’d left my Blackberry smart phone in two difference public places in Benin Republic, and nothing had happened to it. (Don’t get me wrong. Stealing happens there, but much, much, MUCH less readily!)

The first time I forgot the Blackberry, it was in a hotel I stayed in – specifically on the counter at the reception.

This was a very small hotel in Cotonou. I’d checked in for a 24 hour blitz, to churn out some writing that was overdue, and also put finishing touches to the new mini version of my Poultry Farm Manager.

I’d paid the reception, picked up my receipt and gone upstairs to my room.

Matthias, the receptionist, a very warm and friendly chap had wished me a great stay.

I never knew how much he meant that, until one hour later when I searched my trousers, then bag, and was unable to find the phone. That was when I recalled I’d placed it next to me on the counter just as I was filling in the form.

Apparently, I’d left it there!

All sorts of thoughts began running through my mind. I was almost sure it would be gone by the time I got there. When I arrived reception, I asked Mathias if he’d seen my smart phone. He looked me right in the eyes, smiled, and reached down under the counter and gently placed my phone before me!

Barely concealing my surprise, I thanked him and left. The next morning I gave him a tip. He responded by saying “C’est rien!”(i.e. it’s nothing), in reference to what he’d done.

This man was NOT even close to being well paid. Yet he carried himself with an unmistakable sense of dignity and pride. I felt honoured to know him!

The second time, it was in a Cyber Café I frequent a lot:

I’d met there with a client who came to pick up a draft Functional Requirements Specification I’d prepared for a Web Marketing System to be developed for his university. In a bid to print the document, I’d removed the memory card from my Blackberry, and placed it in a USB modem, to access it via the printing terminal.

After handing the printout to the client, and seeing him off, I simply rushed back to the inner room where I was working on my laptop…leaving behind the Blackberry smart phone on the window sill!

About 15 minutes later, the young Beninese girl who worked as café operator, (and had helped print out the document) came into the room and simply handed the device to me, without saying a word!

I was shocked beyond words.

For one thing, I was so drawn into my work that I probably would not have remembered to check for the phone till hours later. So, to have her return it to me that way truly touched me. I thanked her, feeling embarrassed for being guilty of such absent mindedness again.

That happened last Saturday.

Yesterday afternoon, just before I left for the border, I visited the café to send out my newsletter for the week.

On my way out, I handed the young girl a bottle of Coke I’d bought from a nearby store on my way in as a gift for her. I said “Merçi pour Samedi”. She took it and nodded in appreciation.

Again, there was no attitude of subservience or patronage. For her, what s/he’d done seemed to be no big deal. Wow!

The students went completely quiet as I narrated these stories…

Not long after, they got off at their stop.

As we continued to my parents’ place, the driver told me he strongly believed the students were the ones who took the phone.

I told him I also considered it a possibility right from the start. “Why did you not tell me, so we could search them?” he exclaimed.

I told him my reasoning that they could have tossed it out and claimed we’d falsely accused them.

He thought about it and said “Okay, maybe you have a point there.”

Reflecting on that experience as we drove on in silence, I wondered why things had to be so different in Nigeria, and with Nigerians!

These young girls who’d taken my phone schooled in the same country – Benin Republic – that I’d had the above positive experiences. But they’d obviously not imbibed those good attributes from being there!

Indeed, from my travels to other African countries (e.g. Ghana, Cameroon, Benin Republic), and interaction with their citizens, I’ve discovered that many of our fellow Africans are much more Emotionally Intelligent than we are.

For instance, they are much more averse to gleeefully doing wrong to (or hurting) one another – be if physically, emotionally or otherwise.

And that’s sad. Very sad.

I know you may be thinking “Why did I keep forgetting my phones?”.

The truth is this has not happened to me in a very long time.

For over 2 years now. I’m always extremely careful when it comes to handling my phones, which I consider very important for my work.

But in the days approaching my father’s 80th birthday celebration, I had a mountain of outstanding work to finish, in order to free myself up to visit Nigeria. This added psychological pressure, is what made me so prone to making this mistake.

The thing is in other societies, people seem willing to “forgive” you for making it. But in Nigeria no such consideration is given you, most times. Slip up, and they’ll “hit you”…HARD!

This is common knowledge. That’s why everyone in Nigeria I’ve told about this experience said they were not surprised.

And that’s without a single exception – including my sister who came in from London.

Amazing isn’t it? That we know ourselves to be so capable of doing wrong/evil so readily!

Yet, just next to us, in a much poorer, but better organised black African society, people still consider fidelity to high moral standards a worthwhile endeavour.

And most of these people lack material wealth, when compared to the average Nigerian!

I honestly believe we have so much work to do on ourselves in Nigeria.

My phone did not get “stolen” by “bad government”.

It was taken by a very emotionally unintelligent group of young Nigerian undergraduates visiting Nigeria from their Beninese University. One day, they’ll complete their studies and return home…in Nigeria.

What does that tell you about this country’s future? Not something good, that’s for sure…:-((

I’m determined to make sure my kids never descend to that level of insanity.

I hope you resolve to do the same thing too…for the sake of OUR country!

PS: I’ wrote this piece at 7.33a.m Tuesday 4th February 2014 (the morning of my father’s birthday). If any persons on my phone contacts lists have received – or receive – strange calls before I’m able to get MTN to disable and recover both lines on that missing phone (i.e. +229-66-122-136 and +234-803-302-1263), you can be sure they did NOT come from me.

Happy 80th Birthday to our SUPER DAD!

By the time you read this, I’ll be in Lagos with my siblings and the rest of the “Luwaji Solagbade family” to join in celebrating with my father, on his 80th birthday anniversary, at the University of Lagos. [Update (12th Feb 2014): Dad’s 80th anniversary celebration went perfectly! Click here to read about/view photos :-))]

Wow….80 years. We’ve come a long way as a family.

I’m going to share a story in my next post about how he found out I was secretly keeping a tortoise in our home – and gave me a thorough thrashing…LOL!

PS: By the way…I’m typing this post at 3.32p.m from here in Cotonou, to auto-schedule it to appear 12 noon tomorrow(that’s TODAY…for YOU, reading it now). You can therefore imagine just how much work I’ll have to do to make up to my siblings/family for arriving soooo late. Pictures will follow….

Happy 80th Birthday to our Super Dad!

One more thing: Big thanks go to www.mydelightfuldesigns.com for the Super Hero designs I customized above for use with Baba’s photo…LOL!

No. 127: Master FEAR, and You’ll Achieve Mastery In Any Field

What are you afraid of? Fear is experienced by everyone. And that includes experts – be they self-employed or in paid employment. Sadly, traditional schooling teaches us little about how to handle it successfully. This issue of my newsletter offers practical insights that can help you.

You could be trying to launch a speaking service, as an expert in your field. Or maybe you’re a prospective retiree, and considering what venture to invest in.

SCROLL DOWN TO READ FULL ISSUE

Click now to view the latest issue of Tayo Solagbade's Public Speaking IDEAS page

Publication: Weekly Public Speaking IDEAS Newsletter

Date: Monday 3rd February 2014

No:127

Title: Master FEAR, and You’ll Achieve Mastery In Any Field

Author & Publisher: Tayo K. Solagbade [Tel: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic) ]

Blog URL: http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/blog

Archive (E-mail version started 14th May 2012): Click here to view

Archive (Blog version started 24th September 2011): Click here


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NB: This newsletter is published every Monday. Point your browser to www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/sdnuggets to read at least ONE new post added to my SD Nuggets blog on a different category from Tuesday till Saturday (sometimes even Sundays) in line with this publishing schedule :-)

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No. 127: Master FEAR, and You’ll Achieve Mastery In Any Field

What are you afraid of? Fear is experienced by everyone. And that includes experts – be they self-employed or in paid employment. Sadly, traditional schooling teaches us little about how to handle it successfully. This issue of my newsletter offers practical insights that can help you.

You could be trying to launch a speaking service, as an expert in your field. Or maybe you’re a prospective retiree, and considering what venture to invest in.

Stop letting thoughts of possible failure, or loss, hold you back. Start small if necessary. Then gradually scale up your efforts. You’ll be better off in the end.

Here’s How/Why I Know This is True

Last week I spent time watching some of Sir Ken Robinson’s videos in which he talks about the need to overhaul our traditional schooling system to meet the needs of today’s fast changing world.

Nothing he said in those videos was essentially new – to me at least.

Like I read somewhere, degrees are now a dime a dozen.

If we, especially here in Africa, were to be honest with ourselves, we would admit the fact that universities from Europe and America are NOT just discovering potential students with intellectual competence abound in Africa. Instead, their rapidly increasing focus on recruitment from here, is (partly) a reflection of the drastic drop in enrolments happening in the societies they are based!

The truth is traditional schooling is no longer as attractive as it used to be.

Young people today have grown up with enough tools and resources to discover that on their own. Especially those in the developed societies who have ready access to eye-opening information. They are refusing to be shoved down the same paths their parents and grandparents were sent decades before.

This resistance is not simply due to typical stubbornness of youth. Instead many have increasingly observed that so many of their peers are adopting new strategies to developing real world competence, Indeed, very many have modified the original definition of success to suit their own preferences.

Like a home-schooled American teenager told his audience at TEDx, to him, success means being happy.

That (i.e. happy) is what he wants to be when he grows up.

So the purpose of the education he’s chosen (in collaboration with his parents) to get, is to identify what he can do to be happy – while being able to cater for his needs and those of any dependants.

This is the way I have always felt!

It’s why over 12 years ago I announced to close friends (and to my Montessori certified mother’s horror) that I would not let any of my kids start school before they clocked 5 years old.

I also said they would all be challenged to think outside the box, and engage in extracurricular aimed at helping them identify and nurture any talents or unique skills they possess.

My argument was that I had found very little use for my excellent academic credentials in the real world I chose to enter.

In other words, outside the controlled environment of paid employment, I discovered most of what I knew did not serve much useful purpose.

So, I had to put them aside and learn all over again.

But what really struck me was that I successfully did that, without needing to go back to a formal schooling environment.

I also noticed that while I was in paid employment, what made me most successful was NOT my academic ability, but (mainly) my ability to use my spreadsheet programming skills (developed in my spare time) to solve real life problems faced by my company.

And I noticed that the better I got at it, the greater the recognition I got.

So much so that I got sent on assignments and given opportunities that people who joined the company many years ahead of me had not been considered competent to handle.

It happened again and again.

The company apparently valued people who produced results they wanted – not just credentials!

All of that convinced me I did not need to go back for a Master’s degree.

Funny enough, I was working as a Brewer, and later Training Manager in Guinness. But I’d studied Agricultural Extension Services. So there was also the issue of what area I’d be able to obtain a masters degree in, since the company (Guinness Nigeria), had recruited and trained me as a Graduate Trainee Brewer.

That process took about 12 months.

And subsequently I sat and passed the professional Associate Membership Examinations of the UK’s Institute and Guild of Brewing (a certification I later discovered to offer ME little value outside the company!).

So when my colleagues (fellow brewers) at the office began to tell me they were running Masters Programmes, I often asked them what use they felt it would serve.

Of course they looked at me as if I was crazy.

Yet they never gave me an answer that really made any practical sense. As far as I could see, getting a Masters degree would not make them do their jobs better (in most cases anyway). Only they could decide to do that.

Many times the knowledge or information to help them do that, was available in the workplace.

Therefore the idea of going back to get an extra degree never really cut it. But they did/do it anyway.

(NB: I’m NOT saying an M.Sc I useless. Just that it’s not everyone who really needs one.)

And they closed their eyes to the glaring evidence that those of us who refused to get extra qualifications still out-performed them!

This was the most amusing part of it for me.

I thought going to school was supposed to make us think smarter?

But how come well schooled people fail (or refuse) to see this consistent trend and learn from it?

I believe it’s because they are afraid.

They are afraid to be different. To think different, and to act along those different lies.

They afraid of doing so and failing. To be seen to have been wrong. To be laughed at for being wrong

To have their mistakes (or attempts to succeed via unconventional channels) criticised by close friends and relatives:

Example 1: “Haha, imagine Tayo thinking he could get paid any decent money to build Excel workbooks for people. See where that landed him!”

NB: Today, I (Tayo), get decent money to build Excel software for clients in different industries, and also sell my own custom Excel software.

Example 2: “Oh, have you guys heard? I just learnt Tayo’s saying he’s working to get paid 2,500 Euros write a research paper online while still based here in Nigeria. Does he know how many writers there are online? How can he be sure he’ll get chosen? And even if he is, will he ever see the money? What writing qualifications does he even have? Come to think of it, does he even have a Masters degree?”

NB: Today, it is on record that I DID get paid for writing that 4,000 word agribusiness Case Study by the international organisation based in Holland.

Even if no one asks them such potentially disempowering questions, they subsconsciously ask themselves!

In other words, they either sabotage themselves, or let people do it for them.

Why?

Because that’s what traditional schooling teaches those who pass through it.

You are taught to think getting the approval of others is important to your well being. That if you do not get it, something is wrong with you. That if you go alone, you’re not normal. That if you think and act different from everyone else, you’re a wet blanket…or a freak.

Dear reader, let me tell you a secret: All those things I just outlined above are myths!

Totally false and misleading stuff. And if you’re honest with yourself, YOU have always sensed it. The truth has periodically picked at your conscience. You’ve always felt something was not right about what you were being told. But that fear kept you from acting on your feelings.

As an expert in your field today, the programming done on you decades ago is very likely still working its limiting effects on how you think and act.

That’s why you want to do what others experts in your market do. You don’t want to rock the boat by trying something new, or unusual.

It’s why you put your creativity on hold so often.

It’s also why you’re scared to purchase solutions your colleagues show no interest it, but which you “feel” can help you (e.g. Burt Dubin’s mentoring service and products).

Those bright ideas you have scare you so much. You wonder what others would think if you used them.

Less (or UN) Schooled People Have Proven That Mastering Your Fears Can Yield Mastery in Life

Burt Dubin has coached some of the world’s highest paid and most successful speakers (like this one).

However, before becoming a mentor, he’d built highly successful careers in different fields (e.g. real estate, sales/sales management and public speaking).

He’s been around for over 3 decades, and has always been in the top leagues.

Yet, he points out on his website that he is a high school drop out!

The logical question for all of us who are NOT drop outs, but have had to learn from him is often:

Where did he get all this knowledge, know-how and wisdom he’s come to be renowned for over the last 3 decades?

That’s what tells us that we have MORE inside of us, waiting to be discovered, than we know!

The best educational system is the one that will help us unearth those hidden truths buried deep inside our subconscious.

The truths about ourselves in terms of the true abilities we have.

And of course the truth about fear…the fact that it only holds us back if/when we let it.

That we can, from today, learn to consciously put it aside and think/do anything we set our minds to.

The day we learn to do this, we’ll begin to effortlessly achieve mastery in any undertaking. Burt Dubin is just one example whose life demonstrates this truth. So many others exist in various fields.

You can be the next example that will inspire others.

Pursue additional schooling if you feel the need. But NEVER let fear be the reason you do that.

Otherwise, it will be an exercise in futility – and the mastery you seek could elude you…perpetually!

Have a great week :-))

Get Burt Dubin’s Public Speaking Mentoring
for Africa Based Experts
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Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist

*Sole Agent For Burt Dubin’s Speaker Mentoring Service In Africa

Mobile: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic)

http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com

Self-Development/Performance Enhancement SpecialistTayo Solagbade – works as a multipreneurial freelance writer providing  zero risk article and report writing support for website owners, while travelling slowly across West Africa as a Location Independent Multipreneur.

He’s presently based in Benin Republic, where he’s preparing an English-French Language Guide, City Travel Guides, and a Commercial Rabbit Farming Guide.

He earns multiple streams of income providing clients with performance improvement training/coaching, custom MS Excel-VB solutions, web marketing systems, freelance writing services, and best practice extension support services (for farm business owners).

In a previous life, before leaving to become self-employed, Tayo served for seven years as a high performing manager in Guinness Nigeria. He rose from Shift Brewer, to Training & Technical Development Manager, then later acted in senior management roles as Production Manager and Technical Manager.

When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Self-Development Nuggets™ blog, and Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter (which he publishes to promote Burt Dubin’s Public Speaking Mentoring service to experts working across the African continent).

For a limited time, Tayo is available to speak to your group or organization for a moderate fee. Send e-mail to tayo at tksola dot com. You can also visit www.tksola.com to learn more.

Connect with him on Twitter @tksola.com and Facebook.

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View Tayo Solagbade's video tutorials and demonstrations on Facebook Productivity Tips, Web Marketing, and for his Custom MS Excel-VB driven software applicationsJoin the SD Nuggets community on Facebook.comConnect with Tayo on Twitter.comConnect with Tayo on Google Plus

 

Useful Resources for Speakers

Burt Dubin works with people who want to be speakers, and with speakers who want to be masters.

Burt Dubin works with people who want to be speakers, and with speakers who want to be masters. Click here to visit his website NOW and submit a contact form message telling him what challenges you’re facing, and how you’d like him to help you. Tell him I sent you, and you’ll get a pleasant surprise offer from him.

Burt Dubin’s monthly Speaking Biz Strategies Letter [Signup & get a 7-Part Email Course on “How To Succeed And Get Paid As A Professional Speaker“]

Get Burt’s mentoring at any of the 3 levels below:

1. Top Shelf [Click here]

2. Mid Range [Click here]

3. Budget Delight [Click here]


Publications

On Being a Master (PDF)...A Gift from Burt Dubin - Click now!

Burt Dubin’s latest book: “On Being a Master

Download Chapter 1 Preview as PDF

Showmanship Strategems

177 Wow! Wow!

Showmanship Stratagems

Discover these secrets of making your programs more interesting and valuable to your clients and audiences now.

more information

Burt Dubin live

Burt’s Flagship Album

This is the product to own if you can own only one. Why? Because in it you discover principles of platform mastership available to you nowhere else at any price.

You hear performance strategies you can emulate. You shorten your learning curve. You see ways to engage and delight audiences with both content and stories . . . plus you experience a bit of fun.

With its Money back if not delighted Guarantee hardly any are returned.

Find out why

Presentation Magic - Speaking Business Success

Presentation Magic

A live example, including a complete audio recording of a program Burt created from scratch–on a topic he knew nothing about and never, ever presented before! See how you, guided by your personal Learning Guide, (Presentation Magic), can do this too and thrill audiences as often as you want.

Presentation Magic Manual with new pages added plus 3 audio CDs.

more information

ProgramManual

How To Create a Great Program Manual

Discover how you can produce a precious memento of you and your program. Capture over 44 model pages you can easily adapt for your use. Engage proven principles that add value to the experience of sitting at your feet and learning from you.

This is a reprise of the historic presentation that launched the Speaking Success System.

No copy of this 2 CD program and 50 page Learning Guide has ever been returned.

more information


 

Smart Exercising Will Keep You Fit, Healthy and Alive - Click to read
Click to read article titled: 'Smart Exercising Will Keep You Fit, Healthy and Alive'...and ONE other. Self-Development/Performance Enhancement Specialist - Tayo Solagbade - works as a multipreneurial freelance writer providing zero risk article and report writing support for website owners, while travelling slowly across West Africa as a Location Independent Multipreneur. 

 

Using MS Excel® Solver for Least Cost Feed Formulation Can Be Easy - But Also Dangerous (How to Protect Yourself) - Click to downloadDownload above PDF

NEW PDF - 10 Frequently Asked Questions About Feed FormulationDownload above PDF

THEY WROTE…


“(Tayo Solagbade) is amazing and I think he is going to produce some impressive results online…” – click here to read full comment by Patrick Meninga (US based 6 figure income blogger who gained fame for building a $2,000 per month adsense website and selling it for $200,000).

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“Tayo, I honestly believe you are one of those who will succeed at anything he does. Your commitment and effort has been outstanding….Thanks for all your hard work since I’ve been here – you will be sorely missed. I don’t need to wish you good luck, you have the ability to make your own luck. – Andy”(R. Jones)*

*Operations Manager, Guinness Nigeria Plc Benin Brewery, December 2001 (Handwritten comments in farewell/xmas cards sent to Tayo Solagbade following his resignation to start his own business).

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Click here to contact Tayo… 

SD Nuggets Blog

New posts from last week that may interest you! *
Public Speaking

[Monday]:

Entrepreneurship [Tuesday]:

Self-Development [Wednesday]:

Career Development [Thursday]:

Career Development [Friday]:

Writing/Blogging [Saturday]:

Want me to write for you? Click here…

 

Achieve Success via Patience and Tolerance (A Lesson from Bello Hassan, a Farm Business CEO)

In business, and in life, our relationships with others often determine how well we succeed. How we handle conflicts, and even perceived slights can make or break cordial relations we’ve built with a client, partner, associate or friend.

This true story teaches a useful lesson from a humble, but successful Farm CEO client of mine.

Bello Hassan (real name) made his first purchase from me, of my Livestock Feed Formulation Handbook, and its accompanying Ration Formulator software in May 2011.

He’s based in Abuja, and has a farm business in Niger state. That’s effectively all I know about him.

Yet, since we’ve known each other, we’ve spoken and corresponded countless times on phone and email.

He’s been one of the most active of my past buyers in many ways.

His intelligent questions were used to create this 10 Frequently Asked Questions About Feed Formulation PDF I now offer as a FREE download.

Just last weekend I returned from Lagos, where I went to conduct a 4 hour one-on-one training session for a new buyer of my handbook and software.

Bello was the one who’d referred the Farm CEO to me. Read the story here.

So, it was a bit of a shock to me when Bello told me, 2 days ago, when I phoned him…

…that he had still not been able to login to the January 2013 upgrade version of the Ration Formulator I sent him!

But instead of making a fuss, he’d patiently continued using the version he bought in 2011!

I never knew this was happening all that time.

You see, I’d sent out the FREE upgrade version to all past buyers who’d requested it. Ronald Vaughan in Canada had written back to say he liked it. I liked Ronald’s comments so much I used them on my blog here.

Bello however later wrote in that he was unable to login to his custom copy of the app, despite using the password I’d sent him.

I naturally expressed my doubts, after checking on the copy with me, and finding no problem.

But to prove he was not crying wolf, he’d sent the application to his son based in Malaysia, who also found it impossible to login to the app.

Puzzled, I sent a copy to KC Cheung, my professional Excel programmer friend in Singapore, asking him to try logging in. KC (in his typical prompt manner) responded within an hour. He included screenshots. He also had no problems getting in via the normal login interface.

I was baffled. It did not make sense. And I was at a loss as to what to do.

Short of rebuilding the app just for Bello, that is…

One day, in his usual positive minded way, Bello phoned me to say he would be in Lagos for business the following week. He asked if we could meet so I could examine the app’s behaviour on his laptop. Unfortunately, I was not able to meet with him.

Later on I sent him another copy of the app. But it was still in the Excel 97 to 2003 compatibility format (which I now believe was the cause of the conflict he was experiencing).

When I called Bello again, he told me it did not work!

After that, events leading up to my relocation to Benin Republic (on 1st April 2013) made me forget about the issue.

But (selfish me!) I did not forget to call Bello for information….!

For instance, in September 2013, I was building a custom version of my Poultry Farm Manager for a farm in South West Nigeria (the CEO was then still based in Benin Republic).

I called to ask Bello if he or other farmers had experenced drops in layer performance due to the hot weather.

He readily shared his experience based information that tallied with my thinking at the time.

You see, the client had received farm performance figures that revealed sharp drops in daily eggs production, that had never occurred since the birds came into lay almost a year earlier.

The farm manager had said the hot weather was responsible. I’d argued to my client the drops were too sharp and sudden drop – within one week. To me, high temperatures would have produced more gradual changes.

The week that followed, mortalities climbed rapidly. By weekend the vet was called in, and post mortems revealed an outbreak of Salmonellosis! Now that explained the extreme drops much better.

I mentioned to my client that Bello had said “Tell the owner to look closer at what’s happening on the farm. People have layers here in the north, and it’s even hotter, but such serious sudden drops in production are not being recorded.

Bello never brought up the matter of his inabiliy to log into the upgraded version again…

Yet he kept taking my calls, and sending referrals my way. What a great guy!

I on the other had had completely forgotten about it!

As fate would have it however, I called him 2 days ago to thank him for the most recent referral, and offered to send him the offer of the new mini version of my Poultry Farm Manager.

He replied by saying:

You can send it. As long as the software won’t behave the same way the Ration Formulator behaved, that I was unable to login.

I left my mouth open in disbelief, as I said “What? You mean you still have not been able to use it?”

He replied matter-of-factly, saying: “No. It never worked. I was unable to login!

We were speaking on 30th January 2014. The problematic upgrade was sent to him on 20th January 2013…OVER a year before !

And this true gentleman had continued relating with me, with dignity, as if nothing was wrong!

There and then I told him I’d get back to him in 24 hours with a solution.

And I did…see screenshots below:
bello1

bello2

bello3

Final Words: The Lesson I’ve Learnt…for myself, and My Kids!

This morning, when I read Bello’s reply (shown above) confirming that he’d successfully logged in to the new version I sent him, I was ecstatic…my reply indicates that much!

In summary, I must say Bello’s (actually I should say “Alhaji Bello’s”) example has taught me to act with MORE tolerance, and consideration.

…and to HOLD my temper, refrain from drawing conclusions or judging anyone hurriedly.

The person you begrudge may be SINCERELY unaware you’re hurting, or that you’re not satisfied.

By being patient, and seeking positive ways to communicate your dissatisfaction, both of you can achieve progress, and build an even more mutually beneficial relationship.

I believe this lesson is worth teaching to one’s kids.

That’s why I’ll be sharing this story with mine when I get home on Monday evening.

PS: In case you’re wondering, Bello has not even the slightest idea that I’ve written this piece ;-))