The narrative of Domestic Violence has changed a lot in recent years.

Statistics reported by Lagos State’s Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team (DSVRT) clearly show alarming increases in male victims reporting domestic abuse at the hands of their female partners.

READ: Incredible! Wives batter 138 husbands in Lagos

Considering the fact that men often shy away from reporting, the actual statistics are likely to be even more worrying. This means many more men are suffering in silence in their homes etc – and they have nowhere to go for help!

Over the past 3 years, and especially in the last 6 months, I have come to the painful realization that existing support systems in Nigeria, will continue to be skewed towards female victims of Domestic Violence (e.g Notice image and examples on the foregoing linked page ALL refer to male abusers!).

Abusive females know this and exploit it to make the lives of their male partners a living hell.

Most harmful is the ridiculous stereotype which makes people, including social workers insinuate that “he must have done something horrible to her, to make her do what she did. So he most likely deserved it”

This is very wrong and often not true. I say this based on my personal experiences as a survivor and observation of other victims.

With few exceptions I got the usual treatment everywhere I went for help. The DSVRT did what they could and I got useful relief for a while but it was not enough.

Read PII 135: Neglecting Domestic Violence Victims Can Cause Serious Tragedies – True Stories [Highlights from my discussion of “The Culture of Silence as it negatively affects male Survivors.” at the 2018 SYMPOSIUM IN COMMEMORATION OF THE LAGOS STATE DOMESTIC AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH]

I realized others may not have my kind of resilience and would need more robust support systems.

So I launched my Facebook Advocacy page to share true stories, tips and strategies etc.

Read [DVAM] Domestic Violence Against Men by Toyin Omoniyi (TyLegal) – NairaLand.com & PraiseWorldradio.com: This excellent article by Toyin – a female Nigerian lawyer – accurately captured the key aspects of Domestic Violence I had come to be aware of. That’s why I used bullet point excerpts from it, to highlight examples of abuse on the cover photo for my page.

I also began researching both locally and internationally to see the statistics and other information about trends in DV reporting.

Last year (2018), I discovered the work being done by Mankind Initiative to support Male victims of DV in the UK and was inspired to learn that one of the founders was himself a male survivor of DV.

That made me resolve to launch a similar support service for victims out here.

Mankind Initiative have coming up next month, an event I really believe needs to be organized in ALL societies across the world, especially where men are becoming more victimized. The fact that the conference is in its 7th year, in my view, indicates that stakeholders interest has been sustainable, and that means REAL PROBLEMS are being solved!

National Annual Conference

Details of my tentative plans are to be announced.

For now, I would say this conference linked above is one of the kinds of events I hope to challenge stakeholders to participate in and, at some point even organize as well.

Male victims and their kids will benefit greatly as a result.

Click here to send me a message.

Alternatively, you can call me on +234-803-302-1263 or +229-66-12-21-36

 

Related Articles

1. PII 135: Neglecting Domestic Violence Victims Can Cause Serious Tragedies – True Stories [Highlights from my discussion of “The Culture of Silence as it negatively affects male Survivors.” at the 2018 SYMPOSIUM IN COMMEMORATION OF THE LAGOS STATE DOMESTIC AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH]
2. #SexForGrades Updates: The BBC Journalist “Kiki Mordi” Dropped Out of College Due to Sexual Harassment [Watch “Mr Lecturer” in which Eedris Abdulkareem rapped about #SexForGrades in 2002!]
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45. [DVAM] It’s Time to Acknowledge Male Victims of Domestic Violence – By Bari Zell Weinberger, Esq. – huffingtonpost.com
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