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No. 117: Smart Speakers Build Relationships With Attendees

It is my experience-based opinion, that the most important measure of speaking success, is the detectable difference it makes, in the lives of individual or group audiences in the long term.

For me, the business of speaking is LESS about the speaker, and more about those s/he speaks to, and what they are able to achieve using what s/he tells them!

Audience Feedback Gives You an Idea of How Much You’ve Helped, But Their Lives AFTERWARDS Tell a Lot More!

Sending feedback forms to your audience after the talk can be useful. Reading appreciative words from attendees is often gratifying.

However, over 20 years of coaching people across different age groups has taught me a lesson: and that is to NEVER depend on what people say, to decide how successful your speaking to them has been,

You’ve most likely seen, read or heard of attendees of an event who emerged fully “pumped up” and showering praises on the speaker(s).

And you’ve probably also seen some of those same people, LONG afterwards, yet to show any tangible achievements in their lives, consistent with what they claimed to have learnt from that event!

The questions I’ve asked myself, as a speaker who has met such people are:

1. Was it the speaker (me?) who failed to do a good job on them?

2. Or were they the ones – like unserious (or confused?) – students in school, who failed to master and apply what they learnt/were told?

3. What can I (or any other speaker) do, to help those who genuinely want to move forward do so, in the long term? Especially after the event ends, when they return to their private lives?

Not Everyone Can (or Will) Become a Coaching Client

I believe not all who need “coaching” will be able to afford it. In such cases, if one is willing to “help” (like I often am), certain no-strings-attached “skeletal” support systems can be offered serious persons.

It’s not that anyone ever accused me of not speaking well enough to help attendees achieve.

I just happen to be someone who LOVES to see others move ahead in pursuit of their goals, especially if they tell me that’s what they want.

That’s why when I give talks to individuals or groups, and I identify persons willing to take personal action, I emotionally invest in helping them – as much as I can afford to.

Measuring How Successful Your Speaking Really Is (My Approach)

As I’ve said in my article on Public Speaking for Business Marketing, when I discuss “public speaking”, I refer to instances when one speaks with individuals, as well as groups of people.

You see, I don’t see speaking in terms of what we do on the platform alone.

That’s just one dimension of pubic speaking. And it’s a narrow one.

We actually do plently of speaking also during one-on-one interactions, as well as with small groups of people we wish to affect or impact. E.g. when negotiating with a client, discussing with a community leader, addressing a board meeting, and so on.

Each situation will tend to be unique in terms of the needs of the audience you have to address. And the approach you adopt will often be dictated by those unique needs.

In the same way, measurement of speaking success may sometimes be necessarily based on different parameters.

You can contact each person or group, to find out how they’re getting on. Depending on what you’re told, you could offer a “review session” to discuss challenges the individual or group may be facing.

Avoid trying to “sell” yourself though.

Make it clear you want to help find ways to move forward.

But also be firm about how far you can go in terms of “helping”. Where and when appropriate, state you will only do more for a fee. Quite often, if you do have to say so, people will be open to the idea – because you would already have won their trust by your actions!

Why I Recommend You “Connect” With Attendees After Events In This Manner?

It’s simple.

Doing so will uncover (for YOU!) the unique challenges people who attend your events, face in their real world – after you’re gone.

They would have heard your moving stories, and repeated your empowering affirmations.

But when they return to their lives, some things may still stump them as they try to put what you’ve told them to use.

If there’s no one around who can help, some could give up.

When you connect with them, and learn about such issues, that gives you valuable guidance, on what to say, and how to say it, to them and to your next audience!

As an expert-who-speaks, I apply this philosophy in dealing with those I address as individuals, or in groups.

And that’s why I have a habit of getting in touch with people to “check” just how far they’ve gone, since I last “spoke” to them.

What I’ve discovered from years of doing this, has been sobering.

You see, we may be good at speaking to people. They may also respond enthusiastically, to our talks and speeches.

But many times most people WILL need some kind of support system, to make the best use of what they get from our “talks”!

They will need help to keep challenging themselves to hunger for the next level in pursuit of their goals.

Without it, they are likely to falter.

Many experts-who-speak need to understand this challenge, and stay constantly alert to addressing it.

The truth is those we speak to, are rarely as driven and self-disciplined as we are.

And that’s not at all surprising.

After all, we ourselves did not arrive where we are today, at this level of expert knowing, know-how, and clarity at once – or on our own. Many of us had to struggle and re-invent ourselves till we got it right!

It’s the same process “attendees” at our events will often have to pass through, to make the most of our messages.

So, when we tell them what to do, we must remember to also deliberately link what we say to their emotional hot buttons i.e things we know they are passionate about.

This will help them stay fired up for LONGER stretches of time, after we leave.

But passion varies from individual to individual…!

Yes it does. And that’s why a speaker must investigate the needs, interests and demographics of prospective attendees of his/her event!

To Achieve Lasting Impact, Smart Speakers Will Build Relationships With Attendees!

This is really the crux of my message for this week. The application will naturally vary with subject as well as audience/industry type.

As experts-who-speak, our purpose is to influence others in terms of what they know, and how they think and act i.e. in relation to the subject we are expert in.

However, that can rarely be achieved at the first attempt. People seldom attend just one event and get completely transformed.

The process may “begin”, but it will often take some “doing” over time!

That’s why I believe smart speakers who want to make more LASTING impact, will build relationships with their attendees.

I’ve found the best way to do this is by nurturing an online presence, with a web based mailing list attendees can voluntarily subscribe to.

At the end of your talk, send out feedback forms, with space included for the respondent’s phone number and email address.

Alternatively, announce (and/or display or distribute) the URL they can submit their contact details in order to join your list.

Incidentally, this is ONE good way to accurately gauge your speaking impact i.e. the number who choose to join your list!

Appreciate the nice things they say verbally, or on your feedback form.

But focus on your attention on how many fill in their contact details on your form (or how many go online and join your mailing list).

Those not keen will “weed” themselves out by not giving their information.

Those who do give it will most likely want to hear more from you, because what you said sounded useful. The greater their numbers, the more successful your speaking has (up to that point) been.

From then on, make creative use of PC/Internet technology to send them more value adding messages via email, and/or phone.

Continue making periodic enquiries to find out how they’re doing and where they struggle. Use that to guide future broadcasts you do.

With time, some will eventually have great stories of achievement to tell…and openly thank YOU for helping them MAKE IT!

Have a lovely week!

Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist

*Sole Agent For Burt Dubin’s Speaker Mentoring Service In Africa

Mobile: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic)

http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com

Self-Development/Performance Enhancement Specialist – Tayo Solagbade – works as a multipreneurial freelance writer providing  zero risk article and report writing support for website owners, while travelling slowly across West Africa as a Location Independent Multipreneur.

He’s presently based in Benin Republic, where he’s preparing an English-French Language Guide, City Travel Guides, and a Commercial Rabbit Farming Guide.

In a previous life, before leaving to become self-employed, Tayo served for seven years as a high performing manager in Guinness Nigeria. He rose from Shift Brewer, to Training & Technical Development Manager, then later acted in senior management roles as Production Manager and Technical Manager.

When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Self-Development Nuggets™ blog, and Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter (which he publishes to promote Burt Dubin’s Public Speaking Mentoring service to experts working across the African continent).

For a limited time, Tayo is available to speak to your group or organization for a moderate fee. Send e-mail to tayo at tksola dot com. You can also visit www.tksola.com to learn more.

Connect with him on Twitter @tksola.com and Facebook.

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