Self-Devpt. Nuggets™

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Alright, there is a Yoruba saying. I think it goes this way.

“Nkan t’eniyan o ba ni gba t;o b d’olowo, ati talika lo ti nko

(Translation: What a person will not accept when s/he becomes rich, it’s while s/he is still poor that s/he will reject it.”)

Now, there’s another saying I want to recall. It goes thus – it’s an English saying.

“Leave the table, when respect is no longer being served.”

Right Now, there’s a 3rd saying I want try and recall. I hope I’ll be able to get it before I lose time. That one has to do with you knowing when your time is up. Ehen, yeah, it’s actually an Edo saying. It’s something I learnt in Benin City, okay.

Benin guys…I had a lot of friends while I was there in Benin. And they had this saying that:

“Na when you don dey too tay for toilet, na him you go dey see fly we wear school uniform”

(Translation: “You’ll know you’ve stayed too long in the toilet, when you see a fly in school uniform.”)

You understand. You see, those 3 sayings that I just mentioned, they have to do with the need for a person to reject disrespect. To have enough self-respect and dignity, to reject disrespect. As men, and this message is primarily for men and also people who love men.

Women who have men in their lives that they value. Maybe your father, maybe your husband, maybe your brother, could be your cousin, or just a good colleague, associate, friend, partner.

If you value THAT man in your life, what I’m going to say here should interest you. And I’ve heard it said by so many people that I know it will not be new to you. Men don’t joke with respect. The most gentle of men, values his respect.

Only a man who has lost his dignity, his sense of self, will tolerate disrespect. From anybody! I have seen poor people that would not allow themselves to be disrespected by a rich person. They would say “No, no, no, no, please don’t do that to me Sir! Oga please, because you have more money than me doesn’t mean…”

Men do not joke with respect. They value themselves. And that is the love language of men. If a woman, any woman – in fact, ANY PERSON – is to get the best out of a man, treat him with respect.

And therefore, the first quote I started with, which says that…or is it the second one now – the second one – which says that “Leave the table, when respect is no longer being served. ” It’s a…I think it’s a…a dictum. It’s an instruction, an admonition, that every wise man should take to heart.

Don’t be a good man and allow yourself to be disrespected because you want to be a good man.

Because if you’re being good, those you’re being good to, should reciprocate. They should show that they appreciate the goodness you’re showing to them.

If instead, they thumb their noses at you, and they disrespect you, repeatedly, inspite of the good you’re doing, you need to reconsider. It’s time for you to take a walk.

Leave the table when respect is no longer being served, because what you’re doing by sticking around. What you think you want to achieve, is to gain their approval, so that they can change the way they treat you – you’re going to have what we call “See finish” in Pidgin English.

You’re going to get a situation in which they will begin to take you for granted. They will think “O this one does not even know what he’s worth”. So they’ll treat you however they please.

If people do not show you respect, despite the fact that you’re doing what you should do for them, and you tell them and they STILL do not stop, you need to take a walk.