Top performing sales people often succeed by painstakingly building trust in the minds of their prospects. They rarely adopt pushy sales strategies or hype. Yet, over time, those they approach loyally buy from them, and even tell others about them without being asked.

That’s why I’m a believer in letting things happen naturally. Be it in endeavours like farming (i.e. growing crops or rearing animals) or social interaction (in business or personal life).

Social media allows people to put the best of their natural selves on display. And that’s why many – like Twitter and Facebook – are popular.

However, just as with everything else in life, certain people always find a way to “corrupt” otherwise good things.

For instance, certain users of social media frequently “hard sell” themselves and/or their products to other users. Rather than aim to first establish trusting relationships, they simply launch a presence on each channel, and start making all sorts of (often hyped) sales offers.

These kinds of people make little or no effort to add value by sharing ideas and contributing to discussions.

Yet, the key to social media’s effectiveness is its ability to stimulate discussions that help draw the right target audience!

About a year ago, I had a discussion with an online acquaintance – Nhoj – on this matter. He had expressed similar sentiments to the above.

In making my contribution, I noted that I belonged to three other groups on a particular social media platform:

One for speakers, another on speaker marketing, a third on book writing.

Within days of joining the first group however, I discovered – just like he had – a massive difference in the quality of interaction amongst its members, compared to the other three.

For instance in the other 3 groups I joined, aspiring and competent experts continually shared ideas and experiences/insight in a mutually rewarding – and collaborative – atmosphere.

Very rarely was any selling (talk less of “hard selling”) done. There was so much sincerity. A win-win atmosphere.

In contrast, I found that the members of another group Nhoj referred to, relentlessly bombarded themselves with pushy sales messages, day in, day out. There was great activity (e.g. volume of posts), but very little quality interaction.

It was obvious that majority of the members of this group were “programmed” to take from others. Most of them were just there to sell something. They had no value to add to the process!

Unfortunately, people with this kind of mind set are competitive minded about the wrong things.

The truth however, is that if they want to succeed, they’ll need to adopt a more collaborative approach in their interaction with other group members.

Being willing to collaborate with others does NOT mean you’re weak or less competent.

Quite often, doing so can help you overcome limitations you’ve had while working alone.

Business persons who understand the ethical way to use social media, often appreciate the need to first of all establish a mutually beneficial (or as Nhoj put it – “symbiotic”) relationship with others, in order to make meaningful progress.

We have plenty of historical evidence that proves that it pays to follow this enlightened path.

A high profile example is that of the late Steve Jobs, who partnered with competitors like Microsoft, to take the industry to the next level (as Richard Branson, another genius of similar temperament, recently recalled in one of his syndicated articles).

No One Says You Should Not Try To Sell: Just Don’t “Hard Sell”!

Now, in case you’re reading this, and wondering, I’m not asking you to engage in some selfless altruistic gestures of helping others out, just for the sake of it.

On the contrary, I actually believe it pays to focus on making money or building revenue, through direct or indirect means, by using social media.

The point I AM making, is that a social media platform should not be abused by using it exclusively as a trading center.

In other words, a place, where people come with the singular motive of simply putting their stuff up for sale for others to buy.

On social media , the culture is more refined – with emphasis on building trusting relationships via quality interactions!

There is emphasis on first offering useful value of some sort, with a twist or spin off that could yield potentially beneficial returns, to one or more of the participants.

Most important is the willingness of all members to contribute, with honesty and integrity. And they often do this, even when they know there is a chance, that no direct benefits will accrue to them from doing so.

In essence, I am saying business persons should adopt social media, with the intention of being of – FIRST – being of service to others.

In the course of doing so, s/he will become known, recognised and appreciated for the quality of his/her contributions. And that would be one benefit!

Also in the process of serving in this manner, opportunities for showcasing what s/he offers, will present themselves (e.g. articles, reports).

As s/he continues to build credibility, “trusting” members would find it easy to “consider” his/her products/services or refer others.

Even better, some may propose joint ventures, or partnerships of sorts, with attractive benefits.

The result would be that competent business people, with win-win dispositions, would continue to discover opportunities to progress together via groups that operate as described above. Trust would be established, and this would ease the way for useful interactions to take place.

The first group referred to above, did NOT seem to have many members who understood the need to operate in this manner. That differentiated them from members of other groups. And such a shortcoming is very likely to deny many of its members, the long term benefits enjoyed by compliant groups.

Final Words

The point I’ve made in this piece applies to the use of virtually all social media (e.g. Facebook, Twitter etc) for business purposes.