Mothers and Fathers are important in a child’s life.
Whether or not you are still with your daughter’s mother, YOU MUST ALWAYS take the time to be physically and emotionally available to her, if you want her to grow into the best possible version of herself.
Some so called Feminists are fond of saying “ALL MEN are scum”. That ALL men are bad. I always tell them that THAT includes their own male loved ones e.g their sons, cousins, brothers father’s etc. The narrow mindedness they display is of crazy proportions! Yet many influence thousands.
I argue – and I KNOW I’m right – that there are simply good and bad people who are either male or female.
Produced by http://www.tksola.com for Temi and Oluomachukwu SOLAGBADE. This is a series for my Best Practice Parenting and Schooling (BPPS) Mini-Magazine based on what I’m doing for my kids.
The original concept was developed within the first month of my relocating to Cotonou in April 2013.
This story has been popular for years – because it teaches a simple but VERY IMPORTANT LESSON FOR CHILDREN AND YOUNG PEOPLE.
[PARENTS – WATCH THIS VIDEO WITH YOUR KIDS & EXPLAIN THE LESSON TO THEM, TO BE SURE THEY TRULY UNDERSTAND & APPRECIATE IT]
Click the link below to continue…
This edition of my BPPS™ is focused on the “Crying Teacher”. So, it’s a short edition. It’s more like a bulletin. But I’m doing it because I need to spread the message about the Crying Teacher who became popular during the COVID-19 lockdown.
REWARDING MY GIRLS!
Part 1: LAGOS-NIGERIA | Tuesday, 26th November 2019
I took my girls (13 & 10 years old at the time) out to lunch – picked them up from school with a change of clothes. The photos & videos you’re about to see describe how we spent our day.
Watch the video – CLICK HERE NOW https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ADv8BW9DeU&feature=youtu.be
TIP: Visit their website at www.temiandoluoma.com [Sisters With Skills™] to learn more about their progress.
************************
PART 2 – COMING SOON!
Features highlights of our dinner outing at Westgate + our visit – via Lagos BRT – to Ikeja Computer Village & PANIC/DRAMA on the evening of 31/12/2020 when the girls run out of Crochet to finish Oluoma’s hairdo!!
TIP: Click the SUBSCRIBE button for my channel (at www.tayosolagbade.com/youtube) to get notified when I post the next video.
Watch this video trailer – click www.discovercotonou.com/jcsi-ifeanyi – to learn more about the training session.
“Gender equality does not mean women ruling over men; rather it guarantees a level-playing field devoid of all forms of discrimination” – Oyinkan Olasanoye, Chairperson of TUC Women’s Commission
“A man suffering abuse may experience deep trauma that damages his work related productivity, resulting in job loss, or if he’s self-employed, client loss. Being a digital nomad, the latter happened severally to me due to relentless abuse from my ex-partner & secondary abuse (due to bias) from some support agencies. Ironically, these people still demanded I meet ALL financial obligations without fail! Clear proof they need EDUCATION on how abuse impacts mental health! – Tayo K. Solagbade
Prevailing stereotypes about Domestic Violence are making it so easy for cunning female offenders to get their male victims vilified as the abusers!
[SOURCE: Shared by me at 3.40a.m Tuesday 15th December 2020 to my wall (from Abigail Olutusin’s wall). You can view the shared post on Facebook via www.tayosolagbade.com/woman-card ]
Thankfully, we have females with integrity speaking out about this harmful trend.
And these fair minded females are demanding more recognition for DV Against Men. Most are mothers to sons and siblings to brothers who they’ve seen suffer serious abuse at the hands of female partners.
Many are joining the movement to inform and educate, as are the men in their lives. Two examples:
1. Toyin Omoniyi, a female Nigerian Lawyer in her excellent piece titled Domestic Violence Against Men by Toyin Omoniyi (TyLegal) – read it via www.tayosolagbade.com/toyin-dvam
2. Jane Felix Ogbonna, a relationship coach and passionate advocate for fair treatment of Men – watch her video at www.tayosolagbade.com/jfo.
“…listen again, the topic today that men should take care of themselves from now on. As you’re training your children, as you e building houses, as you’re paying house rent. As you’re taking care of your…everything, your affairs – take care of your old age. Ask me why. Why are men dying before 60 years after retirement, after active service?
…This suffering that you’re suffering in your marriage now had been there for years – but you did not see it. The love of mother closed your eyes. You did not know that your mother is among these modern women. When that woman will brainwash your children and begin to tell them…and you know that every child – even you listening to me, even if you’re Baba, your mother is still alive, you still believe your mother. You don’t know the mothers tell lies. When they will sweet talk you.
Everything your Daddy do. They know how to manipulate their children. They know how to manipulate children. Even if the children is Obama, even if the child is Baba, this Buhari now, if the mother is still alive, s(he) know how to manipulate their children. And they capitalize on the love of children because the children, every children love their mother. They capitalize on that and finish the men.
God bring me into this world, to tell the men the truth and to open the eyes of the men, so that…God has told me that men, so many men die in pain. They die secretly in pain in their own home – people do not know. I’m telling you my message is to talk about men. The marginalization of men.
I beg you as you’re listening to me. Take care of yourself. So that you will not have high blood pressure. So that you will not have stroke. So that you can live long.” – Jane Felix Ogbonna | Watch the full video at www.tayosolagbade.com/jfo
====
The needs and rights of men must also be protected. Reports indicate that some women do ABUSE their male partners and know how to game the system to cover their tracks.
“A man suffering abuse may experience deep trauma that damages his work related productivity, resulting in job loss, or if he’s self-employed, client loss. Being a digital nomad, the latter happened severally to me due to relentless abuse from my ex-partner & secondary abuse (due to bias) from some support agencies. Ironically, these people still demanded I meet ALL financial obligations without fail! Clear proof they need EDUCATION on how abuse impacts mental health! – Tayo K. Solagbade
If you have to mediate between disputing couples, regardless of the gender you advocate on behalf of (if at all), do the RIGHT thing.
Be objective. Take no sides – except the side of truth and justice. Refuse to let stereotypes limit your thinking. Give EACH party a FAIR and IMPARTIAL hearing then take decision without bias.
Otherwise you WILL damage the integrity of the service you offer i.e. true male victims of abuse MAY REFUSE to come to you or refer others to you – because they MAY conclude that you do NOT have their best interests at heart.
What if one of them finds himself faced with false accusations from a “bad” woman? Would YOU be happy to hear others BLINDLY support his accuser when you KNOW he did NOTHING wrong?
Would you have the moral courage to defend him? This can happen to ANYBODY.
Think about it, and don’t let the desire to be politically correct make you shoot yourself in the foot.
“Do you ignore efforts/invitations to challenge Domestic Violence Against Men (DVAM)? Your Silence May Cause Your Son, Brother, Uncle, Dad or Other Male Loved Ones to Suffer Avoidable Abuse! Take a stand today. No man or woman – deserves abuse.” – Tayo K. Solagbade
===============================
A new generation of shrewdly manipulative and cunningly abusive women are using protective systems put in place by society to exploit males that are their intimate partners.
In other words, they are gaming the system and by so doing are making a mockery of the efforts to stop domestic violence by exploiting stereotypes about males being the only perpetrators, to abuse their partners at will while readily adopting the accepted posture of “victim in self-defence” when their actions come under scrutiny.
What they do, they teach other women and their own daughters, who rarely know better. We need to fight and stop this trend. Our sons, brothers, fathers, uncles and other loved ones who beloing to the male gender, remain at grave risk if we don’t.
That’s why I launched the page described below in 2017, based on my personal experiences…
Page Name:
Domestic Violence Against Men – Ideas for Identifying & Stopping It
Page Description:
This page is dedicated to empowering men who find themselves, by some accident of fate on the receiving end of abuse from an intimate female partner.
Page URL:
https://facebook.com/stopdvambytks
Tayo K. Solagbade
*Digital Nomad/Location Independent Multipreneur
**Publisher of the Stop Domestic Violence Against Men (DVAM) Advocacy Page & PDF Newsletter
Phone: +234-803-302-1263
E-mail: tayo@tksola.com
Web: www.tayosolagbade.com, www.tksola.com & www.discovercotonou.com
I prepared this downloadable “Pimped” PDF TRANSCRIPT version for those who may lack time/data/electricity to watch the full video online OR who lack good connectivity for smooth viewing – a reality we face now and then.
NB: Those who have watched the video already may find this PDF transcript a useful video-to-text reference.
Click below to download THIS Verbatim PDF Transcript & Read Offline
http://www.tayosolagbade.com/lvapdf
*It includes time codes so you can click video player to jump to the point you want to read from.
TIP: If you have NOT yet watched it, click the link provided in the PDF to watch the video on Lola’s IG page.
Most importantly…share to others you feel may find it useful.
The following admonition from Lola’s closing statement in the IG LIVE interview is worth noting…
====STARTS===
“So, please report, because truly, every Domestic Violence case is a potential murder case. It can be the last push, it can be the last shove, it can be the last kick. And like I always say…People that kill their spouses, I do not think that they intended to kill their spouse…
But at that point nobody is really going to care. Somebody is dead. And I think you won’t be in my office. You will be at Panti…Going for murder… or you know, maybe it drops down to Manslaughter.
So please we’re speaking about important critical ehm situations here. Life and death. If it’s happening to you, don’t…don’t make it look like as it it’s not real.
Don’t make it look like as if it’s not serious. And it’s not only…until it’s physical that it’s important or that it’s serious. Anything that is done to you that reduces your self-esteem, reduces your self-worth, and basically makes you – the person wants to dominate and control you.
It’s a behavior that is akin to Domestic Violence. So please, speak up, speak out. and report. ” – Lola Vivour-Adeniyi, Coordinator, Lagos State Domestic & Sexual Violence Response Team (DSVRT)
====ENDS===
Like I tell every individual or group I speak to on this subject of Domestic Violence, I am on a mission
This is NOT about me. It is bigger than me.
I only tell my stories – and use my personal experiences – as a basis for getting my message across, and I actively connect with others with TRUE and AUTHENTIC stories to use theirs as well.
If you’d like to help you can reach out to me using the information provided in the PDF Transcript.
To a physical, verbal, emotional and psychological violence FREE society.
11/11/2020 @12 Noon | Lagos – Nigeria
Contrary to popular stereotype, this video clearly shows that the woman is the aggressor.
Her body language as well as her words show she is threatening and trying to intimidate/dominate the husband.
Without the video, the man would find it hard to prove this!
If we did not have the benefit of watching this video, it would be hard to believe a WOMAN could speak and act this AGGRESSIVELY in challenging her husband, and that he would NOT react to the provocation.
What you see happening in this video is VERY similar to what my own ex-partner used to do to me. (e.g. “I will kill you!” and “I’m an Igbo woman – we don’t take nonsense from any man!”).
And she would often attack and inflict injury on me at the slightest opportunity – hence my many injuries, hospital visits and police reports.
But when I reported to police, or relatives/3rd parties, she would deny it all and claim she was no match for me physically.
======
This video is a FREE Public Education Service about Domestic Violence Against Men (DVAM)
Watch in my channel at https://youtu.be/v-7rT8q3bRg[Click]
