Category Archives: Parenting

My DN Travel News, Parenting

To Understand What You Learn, Teach It (3 Tips)

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Think about it, and you’ll realize it’s true. Anytime human beings have to demonstrate a learned skill before others, they often put in more effort than they normally would, if they had only themselves to account to.

This is why coaches and performance consultants often recommend announcing your goals. It makes you accountable to others outside of yourself. When tempted to quit, you think “Oh, what if XYZ asks how far I’ve gone?” – and you decide to keep at it!

This concept can help you achieve any goal you’re struggling with. I offer 3 examples:

1. Learning ANY Language

I’ve noticed many people struggle to achieve functional proficiency in their chosen foreign languages. Years after spending good money to attend intensive training courses, they face this challenge.

This happens not because they lack interest, but because they lack motivation to improve themselves. It can be quite difficult to keep doing something, if you’re unable to find others who share similar interests to rub minds with or exchange ideas.

For this reason, those who tend to make faster progress with learning a language, are often those exposed to environments in which their preferred language is spoken.

Consider a person who travels to a French speaking community and is forced to communicate with locals in that environment. He is likely to come away – after one month  – better off than someone listening to tapes and videos only.

Why? Because active learning beats passive learning any day. The former is more spontaneous and keeps you on your toes with the variety that’s thrown at you.

There’s nothing quite like having to respond to impromptu enquiries from total strangers. Or having to ask directions from someone who’s struggling to understand your mangled version of her language!

By the time you go through that process many times over, you’ll find that bells of improved comprehension periodically ring in your head, as you make progress.

The above explains why, if you choose to teach what you know to others not as proficient as you are, your competence is bound to improve – be it in speaking, reading or writing!

2. Academic Learning at ANY Level

It’s the same with academics. Back in the university, people who scored high in some subjects often did so by teaching what they knew to others. In the process they gained greater insights into it. And that gave them a competitive edge in tests and exams.

Even in secondary school it was the same thing. Interestingly, we took exams which tested our knowledge in certain areas without necessarily covering the entire syllabus. In my case I was to confront my demons six years later, when I went on my one year of post-university graduation National Youth Service.

I found myself engaged in teaching Mathematics (which I’d scored a distinction in during the general certification exams) at a secondary school . However certain topics – like Bases – had always stumped me. So, when I discovered I had to teach Bases to final year students preparing for the certification exams, I was forced to pick up a textbook and re-learn it thoroughly. I did not want to look clueless before the students!

Guess what? 20 years later, that experience has proved useful in coaching my kids on the same topic/subject! When you teach, you ALWAYS end up better than you were before that opportunity came your way.

3. Coaching Kids (& Employees) to Learn Faster & Remember More

It’s amazing to see how children, if properly coached, instinctively develop smarter methods of doing things than what they are taught.

My kids are always encouraged to form the habit of teaching one another whatever they learn. Today they’ve established a culture of sharing with one another. Each has one or more unique abilities. Many times I get home and I see one showing the other how to do what s/he does better.

As a parent, it goes without saying that if you have more than one kid, and you also work (or run a business), it could take a while to teach the same things to each child. A smarter approach is to use what I call Multi-Dimensional Peer Pressure (MDPP) ™.

This same principle works perfectly for coaching employees in the workplace. I know, because I applied it successfully during my time in paid employment. In fact, I conceived MDPP™ by reflecting on my experiences and achievements during that period.

(MDPP)™ basically involves teaching one person you think has the capacity to quickly grasp what you want to pass across. Then get that person, once proven competent, to do the same for others.

All you then have to do is periodically check with him/her to confirm he has done (or is doing) the teaching. You also want to touch base with those learning from him/her to verify (possibly via spontaneous verbal or practical assessment – which may be formal or informal) that they’ve gained the required proficiency.

At a point, the entire process becomes self-sustaining, because everyone involved knows what’s to happen, and actively prepares for it.

Why It Works So Well

Teaching others what you’re learning helps you re-visit it with a more inquisitive mindset, to ensure those you teach understand you. That’s what makes you come away with a better understanding of the subject.

Another benefit is that when you get those you teach to improve their understanding by teaching others, you save time, effort (and possibly money) in getting them competent. But even more importantly, you are able to do this for MORE people than would have been possible if you chose to do it alone.

I use this strategy a lot, and it works so well – enabling me avoid getting overwhelmed by requests for my attention. I refer here mostly to informal interactions I have with others – including my kids.

Once I know I’ve taught one or more others how to do a particular thing, I simply refer others who come to me, to such individuals. The only exception is when it’s a paid service I offer. This helps me stay focussed on my priorities.

Of course not everything can be taught in this manner. But quite often, for kids or young people, and in many cases adults as well, many things to be taught can be so handled.

Make yourself more successful in teaching others, by setting up a system where your students are required to take turns to teach aspects of the subject to others. It’s a powerful strategy for getting their serious attention and interest.

It forces them to pay attention to what you say and/or write, and to study it with zeal afterwards – in anticipation that they might have to come before others to talk about it. Get it?

Final Words: I Practice What I Preach (Some Useful Resources)

I offer more ideas about practical strategies you can employ to learn any language in my Proven 5 Step Formula for Learning ANY Language e-book. It’s based on my personal experiences learning to read, write and speak French back in 1999.

I practice what I preach i.e. teaching to improve my comprehension of what I’m learning. For instance, right now, I’m typing these words from my room in Calavi, Benin Republic where – in collaboration with 6 French speaking students of the university – I’ve produced audio and video components for Part 1 of my Quick & Dirty Workbook based Text Guide for English/French learners.

J’apprendre encore! (i.e. I continue to learn)…and producing my new guide for beginners has greatly enhanced my knowledge of the subject. It’s gotten me to form great friendships, alliances and client relationships within less than 3 weeks in a NEW country!

There’s no better proof that this concept works, than that!

You and your kids can become more successful learners from today, by putting it to use.

Parenting

Why Having a Low Self-Opinion Can Ruin Your Child (and/or You)!

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Nothing can be worse than having a low opinion of yourself. It sets you up to fail perpetually. It is important to realize that you can be financially comfortable (e.g. having a good job) and still “fail perpertually” by being ineffective in your interpersonal relationships, due to a low self esteem.

This article explains why you need to help your child develop a healthy level of self-esteem, if she is to excel in adult life. Without this preparation, she could develop into one of those who end up as doormats for others to step on.

That’s not something anyone deserves to experience – least of all a loved one!

It Often Boils Down to Simple Psychology

Many people fail to realize that the quickest – and easiest – way to defeat a stronger person is often to get him or her to feel inferior or inadequate.

Rarely will you really need to physically engage a bully, if you understand the above truth. Simply identify what you can say, or do, to make the deep seated insecurity (that makes him seek ways to oppress others), come to the surface, and you WILL put him in his place – permanently.

In martial arts – and indeed most forms of confrontation – people who emerge victorious most frequently, are often adept at playing psychological games.

Some good examples include Michael Jordan, Jose Mourinho – and even better: Mohammed Ali!

Think about what made/makes the above individuals stand out in the vocations they were noted for, and you’ll understand what I mean.

What You Have Inside of You is What Makes You

Small sized individuals with healthy levels of self-esteem (in addition to courage and determination), can often out perform others who are physically bigger or stronger than they are in various areas of endeavour.

That was why Bruce Lee achieved legendary status as a martial arts expert. Despite his “small size”, he famously took on much bigger opponents, defeating them within seconds.

It takes having a deep seated belief in yourself, to stand up to others in that manner, despite the fact that you appear to be at a glaring disadvantage. What’s more, being that way takes practice. Plenty of practice. Very few people can claim to have been born with such an ability. And traditional schools do not teach it.

That’s why those who develop that competence are few compared to the majority of people in the society. It’s so anti-intuitive to be that way.

After all, does it not make more sense – common sense – to expect that bigger, seemingly stronger persons will defeat smaller, seemingly weaker persons? For most people the answer would be yes – especially the uninitiated.

And if you asked them to place bets, many would bet against their own blood relative, if s/he got paired up against a bigger opponent in a competition.

But Why Are We – Humans – So Full of Self-Doubt & Unbelief In Our Own Abilites?

"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt" – Bertrand Russel

Well it’s what society has taught us. We are taught to focus – too much, and too often – on what is on the outside. What we can see and touch.

I however think the Asians are better off than the rest of us are in this regard.

Being the originators of martial arts, which emphasize the need to develop and nurture inner strength as a means to confronting – and defeating – opponents, their culture encourages people to focus on what is inside a person.

When you do that, you begin to see more than the average person sees in others. You gain insight – deeper insights – into the personalities and characters of those you relate with. And you reap wisdom about how best to relate with them – to get what you want.

This is something that you can apply successfully in your personal and business life.

This is a Skill You Want to Pass On to Your Child

Yes, the ability to achieve and maintain a healthy level of self-esteem – and self-mastery – is one that’s worth passing on to your child.

Why? Because from a very early age, it will make her less focused on the more obvious external stuff about herself, and those she associates with. The result, over time, will be that she develops a capacity for reflection, and deep thinking.

That process will lead her to a deeper level of self-knowing, that would fuel her desire to actualize the deep seated potential she will discover she has. And that, more than most of her peers could ever achieve.

On the outside, others will notice this in form of her seeming lack of fear, and apparent self-confidence in every area of endeavour. This will include the inevitable moments when she will encounter failure – or what would more accurately be called "temporary defeat".

When a child achieves this level of competence, the sky effectively becomes the limit for her, in terms of what she will be capable of achieving.

That’s the kind of mental attitude that true champions in life have. By this I mean the kinds of champions who, even when they falter (e.g. they fall off the top of the charts to the bottom due to a BIG mistake), still doggedly climb right back to the top. In other words, they can reproduce their success almost at will – no matter how long it takes.

I’ve already mentioned some examples of such "champions" from the past – at the start of this article. But there’s also a very recent example that is quite noteworthy. One that many people probably never thought they would see:

I refer to the return of Tiger Woods – a few weeks ago – to being the number one golfer in the world.

That’s not the kind of thing that average people do. Especially when you consider the circumstances under which he lost his top spot, and the publicity that came with the scandal he got himself into.

It takes unshakeable faith in your abilities, and great mental stamina, to achieve that kind of comeback. And that  will often be strongly positively correlated to the level of self-esteem an individual has.

This – SELF-MASTERY – Is What Makes People like Jordan, Mourinho, Ali and Woods Get Referred to as UNSTOPPABLE!

Wouldn’t it be great if you could help your child develop similar qualities to the above greats?

I think it would be – and I’m determined to help my kids do just that. And it does not have to be in sports. Any area of endeavour they venture would serve just as well.

A key strategy I’ve adopted is to refer them to the lives of relevant achievers, and also to practice what I preach, as a role model for them to emulate.

I suggest that you also invest, from today, as much time and effort as you can muster in helping your child develop the qualities described in this article..

You need NO money to achieve this.

But if you do it right, you are very likely to set her on the right path to achieving any goals she sets for herself!

Parenting

5 Leadership Lessons for Parents from “Maximus” the “Spaniard” in the “Gladiator” Movie

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“There is no greater leadership challenge than parenting” – Jim Rohn

Do you consider yourself a good leader? At work? How about in your home – to your kids in particular? It’s not about how much money you have to buy them things. As the Gladiator movie shows, a slave who owns nothing can be a more successful leader than a king who has wealth. Read this article with an open mind. There’s a good chance you’ll reap ideas about how to be the best leader you can possibly be, to your child.

5 Leadership Lessons for Parents from “Maximus” the “Spaniard” in the “Gladiator” movie

1. Size or Age Never Really Matters – Only What You Have Inside You Counts

Maximus – the Spaniard (aka “Gladiator”) – the character played by Russel Crowe, was a larger than life character. For me, at least, he was really impressive. And I picked up quite a few lessons from watching that movie (again and again too).

This movie demonstrated how an ordinary looking guy (he wasn’t big or exceptionally muscular) – can win the loyalty of others by showing bravery, valor and integrity.

In a scene between the Spaniard (Maximus) and Ceaser (Marcus), the latter – speaking about Commodus (his son)’s lack of leadership qualities – said:

“Commodus is not a moral man. You have known that since you were young. Commodus cannot rule. He must not rule. You are the son that I should have had. Commodus will accept my decision. He knows that you command the loyalty of the army. “

2. Loyalty Is Never Secured Through Coercion. Obedience Is.

To lead others successfully, seeking their obedience alone will not work. They will only conform for as long as they can find no alternative.

One example: After Commodus had murdered Marcus (his father), he sent for Maximus to view the body saying (when the latter arrived):

“Lament with me, brother. Our great father is dead.”

Then he tried to intimidate Maximus to accept his leadership by saying:

“Your emperor asks for your loyalty, Maximus. Take my hand. I only offer it once.”

Those words in themselves betrayed the fact that he felt inadequate next to Maximus, and wanted to assert authority by virtue of the power of Caesar’s office over the latter.

But that state of imbalance can only hold if the other person feels he has no choice.

And that’s exactly what happened with Quintus, who obeyed Commodus’ orders until the last stages in the movie.

Here’s what happened: Commodus visited Maximus in his cell, and pretending to embrace him, stabbed him in the side with a knife. Then he instructed Quintus to hide the wound, and dress Maximus up to fight him (Commodus) in the arena.

During the fight however, despite being wounded and weakened, Maximus successfully disarmed Commodus. Turning to Quintus, and the other soldiers in desperation Commodus said:

“Give me your sword!”

Quintus, at this point deciding he had a choice and wanting fairness to prevail, shouted to the soldiers

“Sheath your swords!”

And so the inevitable happened – Maximus killed Commodus. Then few minutes later, he also died from blood loss after passing the wishes of Marcus to Quintus.

3. Real Loyalty Cannot Be Bought – It Has to Be Earned

Loyalty is not something you can buy with money or material possessions. A scene in the “Gladiator” movie illustrates this:

When Commodus is received by the senators on arriving Rome, “Falco” says:

“Rome greets her new Emperor. Your loyal subjects bid you welcome.”

Commodus responds saying:

“Thank you, Falco, and for the loyal subjects. I trust they were not too expensive.”

The above statement shows that Commodus himself was smart enough to know that he did not have the qualities that would command loyalty from others. As a result, he was certain they must have been “bought” over.

4. People Will Put Their Lives on the Line Based On Loyalty

On a negative extreme, terrorists demonstrate loyalty through suicide bombings.

A more positive example is the story of how George Washington famously kept a rag tag army together in the face of crippling odds. This was during the war that leads to the creation of what is now the great USA.

In the “Gladiator” movie, we again have a useful example:

Towards overthrowing Commodus, Maximus was taken to meet with Senator Gracchus, by Lucilla (sister to Commodus). When Maximus demands that the senator get him outside the city gates, so he can get to his army and launch an attack on the city, Lucilla expresses doubts about chances of success saying:

“But the legion is under new commanders, loyal to Commodus.”

Maximus replies confidently saying:

“When my men see me alive you shall see where their loyalties lie.”

Note that he did not say “WE shall see”. He said “YOU shall see”. He was confident that “his men” would be willing to risk disobeying their commanders, and by implication Commodus himself, despite dire consequences of doing so.

That’s not a small expectation to have of others is it? Yet he was so sure!

The above is a contrast to the situation with Commodus when he spoke to Falco. Here, Maximus – a true leader  – demonstrates clear awareness of the loyalty of his followers.

Every leader must be able to arrive at similar level of knowing, to really succeed. This is because if you’re not confident that you command the loyalty of your followers, you will find it difficult depending on them to implement any plans you conceive.

And that would ultimately lead you to failure. This is an important understanding that the most successful war generals, and business/organizational leaders have locked down.

Achieving a similar “knowing” where it concerns your child is equally crucial.

Question: How sure are you of what your child will do or say when things come to the crunch? For instance, during a crisis are you confident your child will do what is right? If NO, this is the time to explore ways to help her develop the needed competence.

5. Be Human, But Never Stop Being Noble & Principled 

The “Gladiator” movie teaches so many useful lessons about life – the importance of principles, patriotism, values, ethics, courage, valor and bravery. And also the need to avoid greed, jealousy, envy, negative ambition, cheating etc.

When Lucilla visited Maximus in his cell to persuade him to meet with Senator Gracchus, and he refused, she said to him:

“I knew a man once. A noble man. A man of principles, who loved my father and my father, loved him. This man served Rome well.

Maximus replied:

“That man is gone. Your brother did his work well.”

The scene eventually ends with Maximus calling the guards. But later on in the movie, he would re-discover himself and take action based on the principles Lucilla had referred to. The lesson here is that despite being feared and courted by all, Maximus was still a human being capable of feeling frustration, despair, and of (temporarily) losing hope.

But he did not stay that way. He later re-discovered himself and went on to fulfill his promise to Marcus by killing Commodus, and “saving” Rome.

Final Words: To Lead Her Successfully, Spend Quality Time with Your Child

I now offer some personal examples. Note that this is not attempt at bragging. I simply offer personal examples to give others ideas based on what I do.

I live for my kids – and always seek ways to share EVERYTHING I know with them(click to read  post). I also constantly challenge them to learn from my successes and failures. As often as possible, I watch movies with them. Movies with useful lessons (especially those based on true stories).

At different stages, I pause the movie (and they often look forward to this), to discuss on lessons to be had from different scenes we’ve watched. I’ve learnt that getting through to kids is best done by creatively weaving some form of fun into what you want to teach.

Once that element is there, they won’t mind doing even tough tasks (like taking turns to cut the grass where we live or at their grandparents’ home). I believe that’s why I enjoy great closeness with my kids. Among other things, they call me by my first name, because I insist (I explain WHY in a different article).

The rapport we have as a result surprises people who know how busy I often am. They cannot understand how I manage to connect with the children at that deep level.

Like I always tell them, it’s the QUALITY of interactions you have that matters. I know each of my kids quite well. What they like, dislike, what they are likely to do under different situations. And they know me too in the same way.

I seize every opportunity I find to coach my kids about what they are likely to encounter in life. For instance, I’ve taught them to use polite questions to resist paying illegal “taxes” to buy petrol into kegs (while smiling politely).

My 14 year old son and his 12 year old brother have gotten good at it by working as a team. They simply play the fool, until the petrol attendant gives up and sells to them without asking extra :-)

I wish you well in your efforts to lead your children more successfully as a parent.

Career Development, Entrepreneurship, Farm Biz, General, My DN Travel News, Parenting, Public Speaking, Self-Development, Writing/Blogging

Why I’ve Told LinkedIn to Delete My Profile (Talk About Trying to Give a Dog a Bad Name to Hang It)

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UPDATE: Isn’t it just amazing? I sent the request for linkedIn.com support to delete my tayo@spontaneousdevelopment.com profile at 13.05pm on 19th April 2013, and after failing to reply my previous email sent more than 24 hours earlier, I get a response confirming my request has been carried out at 13.11pm on the SAME day.

An amazingly quick reply from Linkedin.com - a record judging by my experience with their support department - funny they should do this in response to my request to have my account deleted...LOL!

Wow! Talk about SELECTIVELY speedy response. Oh, by the way, she also added: “If you change your mind, just let us know”. Sigh…what a pity!!!

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It’s unfortunate, but this post has to happen – because the guys at LinkedIn.com seem unprepared to be fair and impartial in their dealings with me – for whatever reason. I’ve never been shy about voicing my opinion. And the last thing ANYONE can ever succeed in doing is put me down or intimidate me. Those who have had dealings with me know this for a fact. I also have a habit of going out of my way to help others I discover to be on the receiving end of any form of abuse, or unfair treatment.

As I type these words, I have not heard from them with regard to my request for details of the “suspicious activities” they claim they noticed in my account.

How difficult can it be to specify EXACTLY what it was they saw that was a violation of their terms of use?

I have asked them, they have not replied. I thought it had to do with the discovery I made this week – see below – but in the response they gave me, it is apparently not. Yet, they will not tell me what it is I did wrong.

Now what’s that about I ask???

Ever since I wrote my post titled “If You Can’t Find Me On LinkedIn.com, Here’s Why…” last month, I have patiently waited to hear from them about removing the restriction placed on my profile. This was after I’d sent the the copies of my passport as requested within 48 hours of receiving their email.

Guess what? A few days ago, I wrote to inform them I noticed I’d received a surprising email update via my olufeltks at yahoo dot com email address from LinkedIn.com.

As you will notice in the screenshot below, I noted that that was an account I’d opened over 10 years ago, and never used. It was therefore surprising that I was getting updates on it – it did not even have ANY data on the profile page!

Asking them to delete that old profile, I noted that the updates for that account and my real account at tayo at spontaneousdevelopment.com could have both been coming into my blackberry (since I setup my smartphone to receive mails from them).

I told them it was possible that was what they saw as “suspicious” activity in my account – since I may have clicked on a link on it accidentally before making this discovery that the notification was for a different address. Having said that, considering I’ve been using my blackberry with LinkedIn.com for over a year now, I expect a problem would have come up BEFORE now if the old account had been sending me messages like this.

The way I see it, this only began recently – possibly last month. I am VERY careful in dealing with such notifications – which is why in my first post on this last month, I was able to detect the scam LinkedIn notifications that I displayed in it.

Note that I also mentioned in my email to them, that in the 10 years since that profile was created I had NOT logged in even once – I did not even know it still existed and even if I tried I would be unable to recall the password.

More importantly, I only began trying to use LinkedIn for business about 3 years ago – via tayo at spontaneousdevelopment dot com

What really got me ticked off was the reply I got from the LinkedIn rep. She wrote back confirming she had deleted the yahoo! email based profile as I requested and then proceeded to REPEAT the same message they had originally sent me about the “suspicious” activity they claimed to have noticed in my real account.

What was worse, she then requested that I send a scanned copy of my passport to them: something I’d done and inserted screenshots of in my post dating back to 19th of March!

To cap it off, I’ve NOT heard a word from her since I sent an immediate reply. In that reply, I forwarded a copy of the mail I’d sent with the passport on 19th March, asking why she was AGAIN requesting me to send it, without even acknowledging the one I’d sent before!

Not one word from her up till this moment.

IMPORTANT NOTE: When I sent that first email on Monday 15th April telling them about the 10 year old profile, I got (as I have always gotten) an autoresponse confirming the email reached them). But when I sent my second email in which I pointed out that I got autoresponse confirmation when I sent in copies of my passport on 19th March, and that I was sure it reached them, guess what happened? THE AUTORESPONSE FOR THAT EMAIL NEVER CAME TO ME!

The Yoruba’s would say “Ejo eleyi oni owo ninu O!” Translated contextually, that means: “There’s more to this than meets the eye!“

As you will find from reading the screenshot copies of the 2 emails I sent them this week, I made it clear that if I did not hear from them, by today 19th April 2013, that this matter had been resolved, I would want them to delete my profile PERMANENTLY from their website.

This post is therefore meant to notify visitors to this website not to henceforth bother clicking on the LinkedIn.com share icons provided. I’ll be exploring ways to get rid of it. But in the meantime, please do not bother clicking on it.

One thing I’ve learnt from using the web is that it’s NEVER smart to put yourself in a position where others can dictate what happens to you. That’s why smart people don’t set themselves up to be messed up by the next Google algorithm overhaul.

In my honest opinion, I believe these guys made up their minds I was guilty without even trying to verify if that was so. They took action without regard for the impact it would have on my image as a person promoting myself and my products for others to buy from me.

That’s unfortunate. Like they say in my language (Yoruba), there are many routes that you can follow to get to the market:

I no longer wish to follow the LinkedIn route. Period.

Below: Screenshots from the emails exchanged with the representative this week:

 

My first email to linkedin support on Monday morning 15th April (it was still 14th April in the US - hence the date and time you see - Click to view larger image

 

The LinkedIn autoresponse to my first email to linkedin support on Monday morning 15th April - Click to view larger image

 

Linkedin support reply - Click to view larger image

My reply - Click to view larger image

My 2nd reply email forwarding the from 19th March containing my passport images - Click to view larger image

Final Words

Did you notice that in her first – and only – response above, she said she looked forward to my response in order to further assiste me.

Well, like I said  above, when I responded this time around, protesting that I had proof that my email bearing image copies of my passport had reached them last month, no autoresponse came, and she has not replied since.

This is exactly what happened last month (see my first post on this), when I sent the passport images the first time. They never replied – even though I go the autoresponse. And they still did not reply when I wrote a follow up 2 weeks later , to which I also go an autoresponse. A screenshot copy of that follow up email is provided  my first post on this issue.

Like I said above: “Ejo eleyi oni owo ninu O!“

I’m done here :-)

 

Excel-VB Solutions, My DN Travel News, Parenting, Self-Development

3 Ways Travelling Can Prepare Your Child To Succeed (Features Pix of a Cameroonian Michael Jackson :-)

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Picture below is of a guy I named “Cameroonian Micheal Jackson”...Your child is likely to see unique and exciting sights like those in the pictures below, if s/he travels and explores beyond the world she already knows.

This enterprising chap was doing an impressive version of Michael Jackson’s moon walk in Douala’s Marché Mokolo (Mokolo market). Hundreds gathered to watch him for over 10 minutes. I’m not a dance expert, but I think he did a great job of it!

Pix 4. Cameroonian Micheal Jackson!

Marcel Bich (now late) was the manufacturer and cofounder of the cheap, disposable Bic pens, razors and lighters. I once read an interview in which he revealed that travelling with his father really provided him an education that schools could never have given him. This insight apparently served him well – considering that he built great wealth, by creating cheap but highly desirable products.

1. Travel Helps You Demystify Life In General

In 1982, as a 12 year old, I began playing competitive handball for my secondary school and over time got invited to the state team (but always got dropped before most major competitions!). This was in Ilorin, Kwara state.

Moving to the university in Ibadan in 1987, I secured, from my first year a regular first team shirt on the varsity and hall teams. As you may know, travel to and from competition in different places happens a lot in sports.

It was during these formative years that I developed my passion for taking photographs and traveling.

When I eventually became a brewer in Guinness Nigeria, Benin City, most of my colleagues knew that about me. After completing my 3rd night shift in a row (earning 3 days off), I would take off on a trip to a state I’d never visited before, just to see what it was like. I was restless and hungry to explore and discover and learn. I still am.

At 3.00a.m in the morning I’ve walked the streets in different cities during my crazy travels as bachelor (mostly when I was off shift duty, or when I was on annual leave).

I once travelled by night across the border from Ikom in Nigeria to Ekok in Cameroon. Then I took another bus headed for Douala. But we had to stop (and sleep in the bus!) at 1.00a.m in Kumba. Then at 5.00a.m when the driver said it was safer, we resumed.

While in Cameroon, I moved around Douala and Yaoundé on foot and by car – mixing with the locals, to practice my spoken French, in the hope of becoming fluent. My hosts sent me to stay with a family friend at Mendong – a rural community – where I got a real feel for something close to the village life there. It was exciting (see photos below).

I ate local meals like Bobolo (solidified rubbery cooked starch meal made into long fingers) with roasted fish, as well as Achu (a delicacy made from Cocoyam, popular with the Akum people).

Pix 1: Eating Achu with my host’s wife

(NB: I made these digital copies of the original photos from my 1999 visit to Cameroon using my Blackberry Camera before leaving Lagos last week. The phone’s video and picture recording has been acting funny since then. At the bottom of this post is the ONLY picture I took that I’ve been able to retrieve since getting here. It keeps giving an error message. I’m looking at downloading all my data and formatting the memory card. Gremlins…?)

Pix 1: Eating Achu with my host’s wife

On my return journey to Nigeria (having no funds) I was forced to travel across the Atlantic Ocean for 12 hours, under heavy rainfall, from 7pm till 7a.m. Along with many others the means of transportation was a large rickety motor powered boat!

2. And It Opens Doors to New Friendships, and Exciting Opportunities

Anytime I run into Cameroonians, we usually hit it off instantly because they are often pleased to hear me speak so knowledgeably about areas some told me they’d never been.

For instance, while in Yaoundé, I went on a trip to a place called “Oballa” where I attended a convention organized by a youth group supporting the Cameroonian president. I did it just on a whim. But it was a journey that took some hours from the city. When I returned at 10pm, my host was amazed to learn I’d gone that far. She’d never been there!

Pix 2: Standing in front of country house in Mendong

Pix 2: Standing in front of country house in Mendong

Looking back I sometimes wondered if I had not gone too far – but the thrill I felt from seeing what others simply talked about based on hear say, convinced me I had not. That exposure also taught me some people voice opinions about things they do not know.

When you travel – and you stay open minded (especially if you start at a young age) – you develop a flexible view of the world. Your views and opinions become more balanced because travel exposes you to the variety that the world has to offer.

It helps you realize that your small corner of the world is just that – your tiny little corner! Outside it, a much bigger world exists that for the most part operates very differently from the perception you have of your world.

Pix 3: One the road to Kumba – an SUV was stuck in the mud (imagine that!)

Pix 3: One the road to Kumba – an SUV was stuck in the mud (imagine that!)

Pix 3: One the road to Kumba – our bus was also stuck in the mud (I'm the one in the black T-Shirt looking back at the camera

Like I revealed in my article about my journey across the Atlantic Ocean in 1999, I was to reap the rewards for my efforts at learning French the hard way in 2001. Guinness Nigeria selected me along with four senior managers to attend a one week International Coaching Conversations Facilitators’ Workshop held in Hotel Aqua Palace in Douala.

During that week, my colleagues would witness me speaking French with the expatriate Managing Director of Guinness Cameroon, who later announced to them that he was impressed. What’s more, during the course, when the possibility of having facilitators from Nigeria come over to collaborate with those in Cameroon.

The expatriate female course coordinator from the UK noted that if anyone from Nigeria was most prepared to play that role, it was me. I was already familiar with the place, the people and the language.

It goes without saying that going back in Nigeria, my senior colleagues with whom I attended the course regarded me differently. One actually announced that my achievement had made him resolve to learn French as well.

It did not end there. Maurice Diekem, a manager with Guinness Cameroon, would – at the end of the course – invite me over to his home and hosted me from Friday till Sunday. He took me round town in his SUV, to meet friends – and even arranged for me to visit those I’d stayed with when I
visited two years earlier.

And that’s what travel can do for anyone who indulges in it!

3. Your Creativity Is Stimulated By Exposure to a Variety of Worlds

Well travelled people – especially those who did it from when they were young – tend to be open-minded, and creative. My personal experiences indicate that extensive travel offers powerful educational benefits useful for achieving personal advancement.

Indeed many well schooled people who do little or no travel, will often be at an instant disadvantage when pitched against less schooled, but well travelled counterparts. I’ve actually seen this happen repeatedly in real life.

Exposure to a variety of experiences can be most enriching. Human beings learn best from experience. And when you have an opportunity to travel to different places, you get the unique privilege of seeing the way things are done in different climes.

Your brain gets greatly stimulated from discovering that different societies achieve the same goals using different methods. It makes you realize that beyond what the smartest people in your world know or think, there are equally smart (if not smarter) people in other places who know better ways to do the same thing!

The problem is when a society comprises mostly people who know no other ways of living, few, if at all any of them, will believe things can be done differently.

If progress is to happen, it starts with people thinking differently from the way they always have.

You/Your Child Can Travel Through Others – But it’s Best To Do It Yourself!

With the help of Tim Ferris, and others like him, many people are able to fulfill (to some extent) their dreams getting exposure to other worlds. The Internet itself makes that possible in many ways.

You could possibly do that – especially if your work and personal responsibilities leave you little room to do otherwise.

However, for the sake of your kids, you might want to do more.

I say this because ultimately, the best way to really do this would be to get out of your comfort zone and go where you’ve never been. And find ways take your family with you.

Get away from the safety nets you’ve put in place for yourself. You need to be willing become vulnerable all over again – like you once were as a baby – so you can learn to walk (figuratively speaking) all over again.

By the time you’re done, you’ll find you have a totally new, much smarter perspective of life and what it’s really about.

You may not even have to travel far. There are places within your country or region you can explore which will greatly enrich you.

Final Words: Let Your Kids Become Well Rounded Personalities

Some people only know the routes leading to and from their homes, office, church, clubs and other venues in their immediate neighborhood. You can do better than that.

This is especially important for your kids. Let them grow up to be well rounded personalities that others would enjoy interacting with for their balanced perspective and depth of insights.

Travel based education will give them that.

So, why not let them have that in addition to the normal schooling you’re giving them?

One Last Thing…

By way of interest, I still do the travel thing as often as I can. This time as an entrepreneur.

In 2005, I visited Ghana on an exploratory business trip for 2 weeks.

And this month (April) I launched a new plan to do it at a higher level – as a Location Independent Entrepreneur (who earns income from both online and offline activities).

Right now, I’m writing this from my hotel room in Cotonou, Benin Republic. I arrived here Monday 1st April 2013, and will be exploring opportunities to travel slowly across West Africa, over the months that follow.

Click here to read full details of what I’m offering to do to help Africa based professionals and business owners improve their ability to succeed.

 

Who knows…if you’re a decision maker in West Africa, you may wish to invite me to give one of my No-Fee talks to members of your group or organisation (?) I already have exciting stories of my experiences to share with audiences. I’d love to hear from you(click)!

Pix 5: Framed hand crafted map of Benin Republic bounded by neighboring West African states – displayed in the reception of a hotel.

Pix 5: Framed hand crafted map of Benin Republic bounded by neighboring West African states – displayed in the reception of a hotel.

Parenting

Why You Need To Teach Your Child To Question Authority

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In July this year (2013), I will be 43 years old. My 13 year old son will clock 14 in May. Between the two of us there is a healthy 29 year age difference. Little wonder that more than a few eyebrows get raised when people hear him always call me by my first name! This article explains why I believe demystifying authority figures in the eyes of our kids can prepare them to become powerful influencers and agents of positive change in society.

“Tayo, look what she’s done to my books!” my son once exclaimed, as he discovered his little sister had spilled water on his school bag. We were visiting at their grandparents, and a relative who was present immediately asked “They call you by name? Why do you let them do that?”

I always argue that times have changed greatly. Adults are becoming less reliable role models. And so children must be empowered to challenge erring adults. Otherwise society retrogresses. Some see my point, but refuse to accept my approach.

Traditional Culture In Societies Evolve – But Respect for Elders Is Still Valued/Required

In Africa, a younger person dare not call an older person (especially 10 or more years older) by name. Indeed many decades back, an age difference of two years between male siblings made it imperative for the younger person to call the older one “brother” – out of “respect”.

Today, the strictness with which such requirements are enforced is generally less. But the need to show respect remains important across cultures worldwide. A young person who wishes to be regarded favourably therefore knows better than to call an older person by name.

To Preserve “Respect for Elders”, Why Not Also Preserve Value Placed On Honesty & Integrity?

People belonging to my parents’ generation often say that in their time, if someone suddenly acquired riches elders would call him to explain its source. If his answers were not satisfactory, it could lead to great shame and embarrassment for his entire lineage. Stealing and dishonesty were not tolerated. Elders did not look the other way when convenient. They spoke truth without bothering whose Ox was gored.

But today a child would notice the opposite happening. He is told that stealing or cheating is bad. But sometimes he will see those who teach him that same rule doing the exact opposite. Sometimes they get caught and punished. In certain societies however, they seem to always get away with it. Sad, but true. A child in such a society may even see those who insist on being honest and upright ending up at the mercy of those doing wrong!

I believe that if elders (or leaders/public office holders) want respect from younger people (or followers/citizens) based on culture or tradition, they should also be willing to preserve the culture or tradition of rewarding honesty and punishing dishonesty.

The truth is however that elders in certain societies are driven by selfish motives – not a desire to do what is in the best interests of those they lead.

Societies That Make Progress Often Have Members Willing To Question Authority (Fela Anikulapo Kuti’s Example)

Societies that make progress are often those in which people are willing to question persons in authority who are not doing the right things. And they teach their children to do the same. The child who is not taught to be critical of the way things are being done, will get messed up by society.

In contrast, societies that fail to progress significantly are those in which not enough people are willing to challenge those in authority doing wrong. A young person who has been taught to be submissive or subservient, and to fear authority, will rarely be willing to challenge erring leaders.

He may also find that younger persons regard him the same way he views those older than him. If he happens to like it, you cannot reasonably expect him to fight the system!

Some traditional African cultures have this problem. In Yoruba land we have a saying that “Agbalagba o ki npa iro – which means “Adults do not tell lies”. That in itself is a BIG lie as you know. And yet, it’s sometimes ALL that keeps many young people in my part of the world from openly questioning an older person they are reasonably sure is doing wrong! This was one of many reasons I decided I would make my kids always call me by name and challenge me (see my reference to Fela Anikulapo Kuti and his kids below).

To Ensure Societal Progress We Need To Demystify Authority Figures!

Parents have to prepare their kids with the right mindset to question an erring older person or someone in a position of authority. Get the child to look beyond the trappings of office or power, and see the person there as the human being he is – not a perfect or infallible being.

A possible strategy would be to make the child call YOU by name (But only you. He need not call other adults by name). Then encourage her to respectfully – but fearlessly – engage you intellectually, on various issues, and to challenge you when she does not agree with a view you express, or a line of action you embark upon.

Fela Anikulapo Kuti made this a rule for his kids. Seun Kuti noted in a Channels TV (Lagos) interview some years ago, that if he or his siblings called Fela “Daddy”, they would not get their allowance.

Fela wanted to demystify adults and adulthood for his kids.

Why? Because he realised it was the adults who demanded respect (from young people like his kids) that he was constantly questioning over bad leadership, and corruption – which he called “Authority Stealing” in one of his songs.

Without helping his kids break away from tradition in that respect, he knew they could be coerced to accept bad conduct of wayward persons in authority.

But he wanted them to follow his example of courageously challenging wrong doing, and to demand better behaviour from leaders on behalf of the majority in society. Judging from the roles his sons – Femi (multiple Grammy award nominee) and Seun – have since been playing in society, as champions of the interests of the masses, Fela can be said to have succeeded to a great extent in this regard.

You don’t have to go as far as having your kids call you by name, if you don’t want to. However, it is crucial that you empower them to challenge persons in authority to change their ways, if/when they err.

When we are brave enough to teach a child to question authority, even ours, we insulate ourselves from those who would use their authority to work against each of us.” – Seth Godin

Career Development, Entrepreneurship, Farm Biz, General, Parenting, Public Speaking, Self-Development, Writing/Blogging

My Recommended Posts for W/E 23rd March 2013: Humanity And Corruption Are Strange Bed Fellows | 5 Ways to Use Google+ to Improve Your Search Engine Optimization |Why You Need “Bulldog Blood” (#1 Characteristic of a Lifelong Achiever)

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Starting tomorrow, the countdown to the opening of a new, exciting – and major – chapter in my entrepreneurial journey begins. I still can’t let the big cat out of the bag yet. That will happen via a scheduled post at midnight (Nigerian time) of Sunday 31st March 2013.

Most people who read that post the next morning will suspect it’s part of an April Fool’s prank. But it won’t be. And many will probably be shocked by the news :-)

Anyway, enough of the digression. Here are previews and links to posts I read during the past week, that I consider to be potentially useful:

1. Humanity And Corruption Are Strange Bed Fellows – A Rejoinder By Emma Nwachukwu

I was born and raised in Nigeria. This is my country. I’m determined to continue BEING the positive change I want to see in her. Not just for myself, but also for the sake of my 5 (five) equally full blooded Nigerian children.

This is why Nwachukwu’s piece about President Jonathan’s act of granting state pardon to an unrepentant looter of public funds resonates strongly with me.

I still don’t know how to explain it to my soon-to-be 14year old son, who I’ve always told that people who steal and get caught, suffer for their crime.

We need more voices to join ours to denounce this shameful act. Emma Nwachukwu’s piece says it all. Read it here.

2. 5 Ways to Use Google+ to Improve Your Search Engine Optimization

If you still wonder why some website and blog owners/writers have their photos appearing in individual search engine results, you need to read this article.

It explains all you need to do to achieve that and a lot more SEO benefits using your Google plus account. Read the full article here.

3. Why Have Bulldog Blood? – By Burt Dubin

In last Monday’s issue of my weekly Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter, I referred to this piece authored by Burt Dubin.

Why Have Bulldog Blood? - By Burt Dubin. Click to read now

NB: In the interest of full disclosure, and in case you didn’t know it, I get paid for any sales of Burt Dubin’s speaker mentoring products and services

that happen through my marketing efforts.

But the above is NOT why I’ve included Burt’s article here.

Instead I’ve put it here, because many adults need what it teaches, if they are to ever become fully capable of achieving their full potential in life.

I can say this without fear of contradiction because that’s what doing so has done for me.

Get this: He begins by saying his “#1 characteristic as a lifelong achiever” is having Bulldog Blood”: Not having a university degree, certification, or even a genius IQ.

Instead it’s Bulldog Blood?

But this insight comes from a 25 year veteran speaker, and mentor of some of the world’s highest paid speakers – who is himself a high school drop out!

He must know something most people don’t. Or he would not be where he is today.

By now I’m sure you’re curious to know what exactly he knows, that makes him tick, and achieve in this manner.

Click here to read the full article.

Parenting

Can You Teach Your Kids About Money & Success, If You’re Not Rich?

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True Riches/Success Come Via Effective Real World Relevant Parenting

I’m not rich…yet. But I will be – it’s one of a number of goals I’ve set for myself. However, while I work towards that goal, another goal I’m even more passionate about achieving is doing my best to prepare my kids for an authentically succesful adulthood (Emphasis on authenticity).

Infact I believe successfully preparing my kids to excel in life is a better way to succeed, and if I had to give one up, it would be the goal of getting rich.

To me, parents will be truly rich if they equip their kids with the knowledge, skills and mental attitude to excel in society, regardless of the limitations of their socio-economic circumstances or environment.

But Successful Parenting Is Easier Envisioned Than Actualized

Doing the above is however easier said than done. The “job” of parenting is no respecter of educational degrees or professional certifications.

To succeed, your intentions and plans will need to be diligently put into action year after year, until your kids go out on their own into the real world, and achieve authentic success.

If you’ve ever had to manage/raise children, you’ll know keeping the foregoing going require a rare mix of courage and peristence. Children will test your patience, especially in their teens.

Most of us have had to pass through all kinds of experiences before our kids were born. Sometimes we assume we’ve seen it all.

But when our kids arrive, we suddenly discover we need to acquire new knowledge and a completely new set of skills!

Parenting is a totally different kettle of fish from any experience most of us have ever had – with the exception, of course, of some of us who may have gained some hands-on experience caring for kids out of interest, or as a vocation.

But even that is rarely enough to make someone a competent parent.

You Will Not Always Have Satisfactory Answers For Her – No Matter How Hard You Try

Guiding and nurturing another human being to find her place in the world you already operate in takes a lot.

There are physical, emotional and psychological dimensions to consider in a childs development. None of them can be treated as less important than the others.

While the child is in her formative years, you will not always have the answers, and yet the child will always expect you to.

What’s more, as she grows older and gets more curious, she’ll begin to question things more and more. Including everything you do tell her – especially about life, and how best to live it, and succeed.

For instance, she could ask:

How come the neighbors kids have so many toys to play with and I dont? Why cant you get me stuff like that? Why dont we seem to have enough money to go on fancy trips and holidays my friends at school tell me their parents take them on all the time?

Teach Her The Value of Delayed Gratification

To please her, do what you can with what you have.

However,  if you lack the means to do it without incurring negative outcomes, you need to tell her. Maybe mortgage payments and some other investments you’re making for the future, currently prevent you from indulging in such immediate pleasures. Or maybe you’re just not earning enough to allow for such expenses at the moment.

Whatever the reason, tell her as simply as possible. Explain the implied benefit to be had from practicing delayed gratification.

My experience indicates this is quite easy to teach to kids, and once they get started on it, youll be surprised at how quickly they’ll use it to make progress. And they’ll regard it as fun!

For instance, ever since I began rewarding each of my kids with a 100% interest on money they saved, at the end of each month, I’ve noticed they’ve all become quite serious about not spending any money given to them by grandparents, and other relatives.

Make Her Work to Earn Any Extra That She Gets

In fact, even if you could afford it, historical evidence shows that it is smarter to get a child to develop a healthy respect for money.

To achieve that, make her realize it has to be earned before it can be spent. So when she starts asking for extras such as more toys or fancy holiday trips offer her an opportunity to earn them.

My soon-to-be-12 year old son once asked me for money to buy an item he said a classmate of his owned, an which he liked. I told him he could save up for it by washing my car every fortnight for a fee of N50. (The item cost N100 or N150 I think). I wasn!t surprised to see him apply himself diligently to that task until he’d earned the needed amount.

Important Note: This Is Not An Attempt To BragI’ve just shared what I’ve done with my kids, to give you ideas of what’s possible.

This is not an attempt to make my kids out as special, or to paint myself as a parenting genius.

My purpose for giving the above examples is basically to share what seems to have worked for me, in the hope that you may find it useful for your purposes.

But What If She Questions Your Competence To Tell Her About Money?

Sometimes it could be that you simply do not have the means to accommodate such additional luxuries, because you do not currently earn enough.

The child may accept this, but depending on the environment she’s exposed to, and the friends she keeps, it could influence her decision about how much attention she should pay YOU – particularly when you give her advice about what to do to make money for instance.

Lets face it, we all know the parable about the naked guy who offers you his shirt.

Would you easily accept financial advice from someone who seems to be struggling to make ends meet?

Your kid may face that challenge at some point in life. Letting you give her advice about what to do may be viewed against the background of how well she sees you doing.

And if you’re struggling financially, she could tell herself:

“I want something better. My parents don’t have the money making aspect of life well worked out yet. Maybe Kelly’s dad will have to usable advice on finances that I can explore”.

Robert Kiyoaki’s Rich Dad Poor Dad bestseller book’s story effectively illustrates the point I’m making here. While he recognized his real dad’s academic prowess, Robert’s questioning mind led him to get financial education and coaching from his “other dad”.

What Can You Do

I believe the truth is that we can only try to do what we can for our kids. Sometimes we won’t have all aspects of life locked down.

There are likely to be areas where we will be better off letting someone else help our kids.

And as parents, if we truly love our kids we’ll be wise to quickly identify such persons and facilitate the process of bring them into our children’s lives as early as possible.

Sometimes it will be their teacher(s) in school, or a gifted or talented friend. And at other times it could be a relative of yours or even a friend, business associate, former classmate, indeed anyone you can reasonably trust to help your child acquire needed knowledge and skills to fill in any gaps in her learning.

If you love your kids and want them to flourish in life, you must be ready to do the above and whatever else is in their best interests.

It may surprise you that at the end of the day, when they achieved the success you so selflessly prepared them for, they will tell all who ask that YOU made them succeed.

That’s exactly what the world famous Ben Carson said about his uneducated single parent mother, regarding the amazing role she played in making him the genius in brain surgery that we all know him to be.

Parenting

You Don’t Need a Monopoly of Wisdom (Smart Kids Know It!)

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We send our kids to school because we want them to get an education. Judging from our own experiences, a good education will – among other benefits – equip them with the ability to independently discern what is useful from the sea of solicited & unsolicited advice they will be exposed to as they grow up. This article explains how you can also help them understand that no human being is all knowing: so they can avoid getting misled in school, or in life!

Why A Good Foundation In Education Is Important

A teenage girl who has attended sex education classes is likely to be more alert to the potential dangers (e.g Sexually Transmitted Infections) and likely consequences (unwanted pregnancy) of engaging in unprotected pre marital sex.

That awareness will make her opt for protected sex, if at all she chooses to have pre marital sex. And if the means for having protected sex (e.g condom) is unavailable, she’ll know enough to say no, even when her partner pressures her or tries to sweet talk her into giving in.

Once a good educational foundation is laid for a child, she’s likely to actively pursue avenues to build on it to improve herself.

With diligence she will eventually arrive a level of intellectual competence close to, or possibly above that of her parents and/or other adults.

Some Parents Apparently Don’t Want That!

Some people who today are parents were sent to graduate school by parent(s) with little or no education.

When they graduated, they generally found their education conferred a unique advantage on them.

Among other benefits, they became thought leaders in their homes and societies, whose opinions were respected and contributions valued.

Now, ironically, there are some people who had educationally accomplished parents send them to school.

But they soon discovered that their academic accomplishments were not enough to make their parent(s) accept them as being intellectually competent!

One example. I once overheard a 70 year old retired consultant tell his 38 year old son (who is himself a practicing consulting professional) as follows:

“You can never know more than I do on any subject, because I came to this world before you!”

The son was understandably shocked to hear that, as was I.

And he replied:

“But Dad, why did you bother making me go through the hassle of getting a degree, if you knew you would not be willing to accept that I can actually be equally or more knowledgeable about issues, especially in my areas of interest or specialisation?”

The old man retorted “The fact that you’ve obtained a degree does not mean you can know more than me!”

The son shook his head sadly and threw up his hands in exasperation.

Demonstrate To Your Child That No One Needs a Monopoly of Wisdom!

I once read a quote that said “you can learn how not to be a bad boss by studying one”.

My experiences and observations from my 7 year sojourn in paid employment tell me that statement is true.

The above mentioned father and son exchange proved quite instructive for me. Indeed, It made a very great impact on me.

I learnt a powerful lesson from it, about how to succeed as a parent by refusing to claim a monopoly over knowledge or wisdom.
the ability to independently discern what is useful from the sea of advice they will be exposed to as they grow up.

And to ensure I do not fail, I’ve drummed it into my kids’ heads that no human being, least of all me, their father has a monopoly of wisdom on any subject.

To make such a claim amounts to being recklessly arrogant and irresponsible with one’s utterances. Even worse, impressionable children who witness such acts may be misled into thinking that is the right way to think and speak. And they could end up upsetting others they relate with.

I strongly believe one of the greatest gifts kids can be given, is the understanding that they do not need to prove perpetually that they are smart, by claiming to know more than everyone else.

We can help our kids develop this understanding by acting as responsible role models on a daily basis, and letting them know the value they will derive from emulating us.