Category Archives: Parenting

Proof That Poverty Cannot Make People Steal…If They Don’t Want To (A True Story)

One minute the phone was next to my elbow in the space behind the hand brake, the next minute I was looking all over the taxi to find it. The driver asked “When did you last see it?” “I called my mother just before we left the border” I replied in a puzzled voice. (The events described here occurred between 7 and 9p.m yesterday, Monday 3rd February 2014).

(I’d told her I was taking a taxi, and would need some Nigerian naira, since banks had closed, and I could not change the Euros I had with me.)

As I said this and continued searching for my phone, the two young Nigerian girls in the back, whose conversations had revealed they were returning from a university they attended in Benin Republic, giggled repeatedly.

Their male colleague remained silent. I did not look back, but wondered how anyone could find what I’d said funny.

I had my Blackberry in my hand, but the SIM card in it was for my MOOV/Etisalat line in Benin Republic.

Once we’d left the border, the Internet Service on it had stopped, as usual. Normally at this point I would have switched the SIM card for my MTN Nigeria line on which I also subscribe to the Blackberry Internet Service.

But that SIM card was in the missing Nokia double SIM handset – as was the SIM card for my MTN line in Benin Republic. Both lines were the ones listed on my website i.e. my business lines (+229-66-122-136 and +234-803-302-1263).

So, I could not make calls on my Blackberry, as it was not possible to purchase airtime or load it from the Nigerian end (I still struggle to wonder why. Maybe I need some coaching…???). The driver offered me his handset, so I could call the MTN Nigeria line. I tried and was told “The number you’re calling is switched off. Please try again later.” I handed the phone back to him saying “It’s been switched off. I never left the car, and yet it’s gone. This is rather strange.”

The young ladies in the back, whose nauseatingly shallow line of conversations had continued, once again began giggling, just as I made that pronouncement.

I’d been tempted to think they had something to do with the phone’s disappearance. But I’d pushed the thought out of my mind.

However, their continued giggling, as if on queue, made me think back to when I last saw the device. It was about 10 minutes before the girls and their male student friend came in.

I tried remembering how they got into the car. I concentrated and played the scene back in my head.

That was when I recalled that the girl in the middle had found it necessary to pile three sachets of pure water, on the compartment behind the hand brake – just between my seat and the driver’s seat.

That was where I’d placed the phone in order to shut the door, when the driver quickly jumped in to move the car forward in the motor park. It was after that, that the trio got in.

It occurred to me that the water sachets were probably used to cover the phone, so they could withdraw it from beneath, without being noticed.

One thing was certain. I’d never stepped out of the car since getting in. So if the phone was not in the car, there was a very good chance it had been taken by these young people. .

But I kept this thought to myself.

Why?

Because past experience (from observation) has taught me, that people who choose to stoop that low to do things like that, can be quite good at hiding (or disposing of) what they take.

Demanding to search them would create a scene. And if one was unsuccessful in finding it on them (e.g. since it was night, it could be thrown out the window in a flash!) they would turn around to claim they’d been falsely accused.

I’ve been around enough, especially growing up in Nigeria, to have seen this happen. Suddenly, the thief is telling the accuser, who is actually in the right, to apologise to him for the false accusation!

So instead of starting a war, I chose to deliberately engage the driver in a conversation meant to pass a message across to the young people.

Whether or not they chose to take it did not matter to me.

I told him how, on two separate days – just last week – in Cotonou, I’d left my Blackberry smart phone in two difference public places in Benin Republic, and nothing had happened to it. (Don’t get me wrong. Stealing happens there, but much, much, MUCH less readily!)

The first time I forgot the Blackberry, it was in a hotel I stayed in – specifically on the counter at the reception.

This was a very small hotel in Cotonou. I’d checked in for a 24 hour blitz, to churn out some writing that was overdue, and also put finishing touches to the new mini version of my Poultry Farm Manager.

I’d paid the reception, picked up my receipt and gone upstairs to my room.

Matthias, the receptionist, a very warm and friendly chap had wished me a great stay.

I never knew how much he meant that, until one hour later when I searched my trousers, then bag, and was unable to find the phone. That was when I recalled I’d placed it next to me on the counter just as I was filling in the form.

Apparently, I’d left it there!

All sorts of thoughts began running through my mind. I was almost sure it would be gone by the time I got there. When I arrived reception, I asked Mathias if he’d seen my smart phone. He looked me right in the eyes, smiled, and reached down under the counter and gently placed my phone before me!

Barely concealing my surprise, I thanked him and left. The next morning I gave him a tip. He responded by saying “C’est rien!”(i.e. it’s nothing), in reference to what he’d done.

This man was NOT even close to being well paid. Yet he carried himself with an unmistakable sense of dignity and pride. I felt honoured to know him!

The second time, it was in a Cyber Café I frequent a lot:

I’d met there with a client who came to pick up a draft Functional Requirements Specification I’d prepared for a Web Marketing System to be developed for his university. In a bid to print the document, I’d removed the memory card from my Blackberry, and placed it in a USB modem, to access it via the printing terminal.

After handing the printout to the client, and seeing him off, I simply rushed back to the inner room where I was working on my laptop…leaving behind the Blackberry smart phone on the window sill!

About 15 minutes later, the young Beninese girl who worked as café operator, (and had helped print out the document) came into the room and simply handed the device to me, without saying a word!

I was shocked beyond words.

For one thing, I was so drawn into my work that I probably would not have remembered to check for the phone till hours later. So, to have her return it to me that way truly touched me. I thanked her, feeling embarrassed for being guilty of such absent mindedness again.

That happened last Saturday.

Yesterday afternoon, just before I left for the border, I visited the café to send out my newsletter for the week.

On my way out, I handed the young girl a bottle of Coke I’d bought from a nearby store on my way in as a gift for her. I said “Merçi pour Samedi”. She took it and nodded in appreciation.

Again, there was no attitude of subservience or patronage. For her, what s/he’d done seemed to be no big deal. Wow!

The students went completely quiet as I narrated these stories…

Not long after, they got off at their stop.

As we continued to my parents’ place, the driver told me he strongly believed the students were the ones who took the phone.

I told him I also considered it a possibility right from the start. “Why did you not tell me, so we could search them?” he exclaimed.

I told him my reasoning that they could have tossed it out and claimed we’d falsely accused them.

He thought about it and said “Okay, maybe you have a point there.”

Reflecting on that experience as we drove on in silence, I wondered why things had to be so different in Nigeria, and with Nigerians!

These young girls who’d taken my phone schooled in the same country – Benin Republic – that I’d had the above positive experiences. But they’d obviously not imbibed those good attributes from being there!

Indeed, from my travels to other African countries (e.g. Ghana, Cameroon, Benin Republic), and interaction with their citizens, I’ve discovered that many of our fellow Africans are much more Emotionally Intelligent than we are.

For instance, they are much more averse to gleeefully doing wrong to (or hurting) one another – be if physically, emotionally or otherwise.

And that’s sad. Very sad.

I know you may be thinking “Why did I keep forgetting my phones?”.

The truth is this has not happened to me in a very long time.

For over 2 years now. I’m always extremely careful when it comes to handling my phones, which I consider very important for my work.

But in the days approaching my father’s 80th birthday celebration, I had a mountain of outstanding work to finish, in order to free myself up to visit Nigeria. This added psychological pressure, is what made me so prone to making this mistake.

The thing is in other societies, people seem willing to “forgive” you for making it. But in Nigeria no such consideration is given you, most times. Slip up, and they’ll “hit you”…HARD!

This is common knowledge. That’s why everyone in Nigeria I’ve told about this experience said they were not surprised.

And that’s without a single exception – including my sister who came in from London.

Amazing isn’t it? That we know ourselves to be so capable of doing wrong/evil so readily!

Yet, just next to us, in a much poorer, but better organised black African society, people still consider fidelity to high moral standards a worthwhile endeavour.

And most of these people lack material wealth, when compared to the average Nigerian!

I honestly believe we have so much work to do on ourselves in Nigeria.

My phone did not get “stolen” by “bad government”.

It was taken by a very emotionally unintelligent group of young Nigerian undergraduates visiting Nigeria from their Beninese University. One day, they’ll complete their studies and return home…in Nigeria.

What does that tell you about this country’s future? Not something good, that’s for sure…:-((

I’m determined to make sure my kids never descend to that level of insanity.

I hope you resolve to do the same thing too…for the sake of OUR country!

PS: I’ wrote this piece at 7.33a.m Tuesday 4th February 2014 (the morning of my father’s birthday). If any persons on my phone contacts lists have received – or receive – strange calls before I’m able to get MTN to disable and recover both lines on that missing phone (i.e. +229-66-122-136 and +234-803-302-1263), you can be sure they did NOT come from me.

Happy 80th Birthday to our SUPER DAD!

By the time you read this, I’ll be in Lagos with my siblings and the rest of the “Luwaji Solagbade family” to join in celebrating with my father, on his 80th birthday anniversary, at the University of Lagos. [Update (12th Feb 2014): Dad’s 80th anniversary celebration went perfectly! Click here to read about/view photos :-))]

Wow….80 years. We’ve come a long way as a family.

I’m going to share a story in my next post about how he found out I was secretly keeping a tortoise in our home – and gave me a thorough thrashing…LOL!

PS: By the way…I’m typing this post at 3.32p.m from here in Cotonou, to auto-schedule it to appear 12 noon tomorrow(that’s TODAY…for YOU, reading it now). You can therefore imagine just how much work I’ll have to do to make up to my siblings/family for arriving soooo late. Pictures will follow….

Happy 80th Birthday to our Super Dad!

One more thing: Big thanks go to www.mydelightfuldesigns.com for the Super Hero designs I customized above for use with Baba’s photo…LOL!

Achieve Success via Patience and Tolerance (A Lesson from Bello Hassan, a Farm Business CEO)

In business, and in life, our relationships with others often determine how well we succeed. How we handle conflicts, and even perceived slights can make or break cordial relations we’ve built with a client, partner, associate or friend.

This true story teaches a useful lesson from a humble, but successful Farm CEO client of mine.

Bello Hassan (real name) made his first purchase from me, of my Livestock Feed Formulation Handbook, and its accompanying Ration Formulator software in May 2011.

He’s based in Abuja, and has a farm business in Niger state. That’s effectively all I know about him.

Yet, since we’ve known each other, we’ve spoken and corresponded countless times on phone and email.

He’s been one of the most active of my past buyers in many ways.

His intelligent questions were used to create this 10 Frequently Asked Questions About Feed Formulation PDF I now offer as a FREE download.

Just last weekend I returned from Lagos, where I went to conduct a 4 hour one-on-one training session for a new buyer of my handbook and software.

Bello was the one who’d referred the Farm CEO to me. Read the story here.

So, it was a bit of a shock to me when Bello told me, 2 days ago, when I phoned him…

…that he had still not been able to login to the January 2013 upgrade version of the Ration Formulator I sent him!

But instead of making a fuss, he’d patiently continued using the version he bought in 2011!

I never knew this was happening all that time.

You see, I’d sent out the FREE upgrade version to all past buyers who’d requested it. Ronald Vaughan in Canada had written back to say he liked it. I liked Ronald’s comments so much I used them on my blog here.

Bello however later wrote in that he was unable to login to his custom copy of the app, despite using the password I’d sent him.

I naturally expressed my doubts, after checking on the copy with me, and finding no problem.

But to prove he was not crying wolf, he’d sent the application to his son based in Malaysia, who also found it impossible to login to the app.

Puzzled, I sent a copy to KC Cheung, my professional Excel programmer friend in Singapore, asking him to try logging in. KC (in his typical prompt manner) responded within an hour. He included screenshots. He also had no problems getting in via the normal login interface.

I was baffled. It did not make sense. And I was at a loss as to what to do.

Short of rebuilding the app just for Bello, that is…

One day, in his usual positive minded way, Bello phoned me to say he would be in Lagos for business the following week. He asked if we could meet so I could examine the app’s behaviour on his laptop. Unfortunately, I was not able to meet with him.

Later on I sent him another copy of the app. But it was still in the Excel 97 to 2003 compatibility format (which I now believe was the cause of the conflict he was experiencing).

When I called Bello again, he told me it did not work!

After that, events leading up to my relocation to Benin Republic (on 1st April 2013) made me forget about the issue.

But (selfish me!) I did not forget to call Bello for information….!

For instance, in September 2013, I was building a custom version of my Poultry Farm Manager for a farm in South West Nigeria (the CEO was then still based in Benin Republic).

I called to ask Bello if he or other farmers had experenced drops in layer performance due to the hot weather.

He readily shared his experience based information that tallied with my thinking at the time.

You see, the client had received farm performance figures that revealed sharp drops in daily eggs production, that had never occurred since the birds came into lay almost a year earlier.

The farm manager had said the hot weather was responsible. I’d argued to my client the drops were too sharp and sudden drop – within one week. To me, high temperatures would have produced more gradual changes.

The week that followed, mortalities climbed rapidly. By weekend the vet was called in, and post mortems revealed an outbreak of Salmonellosis! Now that explained the extreme drops much better.

I mentioned to my client that Bello had said “Tell the owner to look closer at what’s happening on the farm. People have layers here in the north, and it’s even hotter, but such serious sudden drops in production are not being recorded.

Bello never brought up the matter of his inabiliy to log into the upgraded version again…

Yet he kept taking my calls, and sending referrals my way. What a great guy!

I on the other had had completely forgotten about it!

As fate would have it however, I called him 2 days ago to thank him for the most recent referral, and offered to send him the offer of the new mini version of my Poultry Farm Manager.

He replied by saying:

You can send it. As long as the software won’t behave the same way the Ration Formulator behaved, that I was unable to login.

I left my mouth open in disbelief, as I said “What? You mean you still have not been able to use it?”

He replied matter-of-factly, saying: “No. It never worked. I was unable to login!

We were speaking on 30th January 2014. The problematic upgrade was sent to him on 20th January 2013…OVER a year before !

And this true gentleman had continued relating with me, with dignity, as if nothing was wrong!

There and then I told him I’d get back to him in 24 hours with a solution.

And I did…see screenshots below:
bello1

bello2

bello3

Final Words: The Lesson I’ve Learnt…for myself, and My Kids!

This morning, when I read Bello’s reply (shown above) confirming that he’d successfully logged in to the new version I sent him, I was ecstatic…my reply indicates that much!

In summary, I must say Bello’s (actually I should say “Alhaji Bello’s”) example has taught me to act with MORE tolerance, and consideration.

…and to HOLD my temper, refrain from drawing conclusions or judging anyone hurriedly.

The person you begrudge may be SINCERELY unaware you’re hurting, or that you’re not satisfied.

By being patient, and seeking positive ways to communicate your dissatisfaction, both of you can achieve progress, and build an even more mutually beneficial relationship.

I believe this lesson is worth teaching to one’s kids.

That’s why I’ll be sharing this story with mine when I get home on Monday evening.

PS: In case you’re wondering, Bello has not even the slightest idea that I’ve written this piece ;-))

Good Writing Ability Can Lead You to Financial Success

People use writing to make money in so many unusual ways. Some write articles and reports for others, and get paid per word, page etc. Others write as a means of self-promotion, to attract buyers/clients. Then others write to produce books they publish and sell. All this happens across so many genres. With diligent effort, many are achieving financial success and freedom using their writing skillls. And you can do the same!

You Need to Find What Works for You

Almost exactly a year ago, at about this time, I’d just decided I needed to try my hand at using blogging, more directly, to achieve my online writing goals. I had already seen and enjoyed the multiple rewards of writing for self-promotion and sales income in various ways.

Apart from my physical books and e-books (on self-development, feed formulation etc) which had been selling via my online store, and through offline systems I set-up, I’d also had very many new clients find me online through my article marketing.

In other words, I had no doubt about the power of the written word, and how it could get people to do what I wanted, if I wrote it right.

But over time, the volume of my writing output had grown tremendously, and I had to continue doing it while attending to client needs and responding to prospect enquiries.

The Process Gradually Became Cumbersome and Time Consuming For Me.

I knew I needed an easier way to keep going, or something would give…most likely my work quality and/or ability to deliver satisfactory work to deadlines.

After studying the structure of blogs, I realized a lot of the work I was doing on my own via my static html based articles publishing would be automatically handled by a blog. Even better, search engines love to visit blogs. I’d learnt that from careful study of many blogs, and reading articles by successful business owners who used them.

So, I decided to launch this blog…the SD (Self-Development) Nuggets™ blog in June 2013.

Less than 7 months later I’d begun reaping amazing results from using it. And the exciting trend continues even today. More visits, more contact form enquiries and requests, more newsletter subscriptions. And even more emails and phone calls about what I do. Some just to thank me or to ask for help etc.

So Far, I Have Not Yet Had to Attend Writing School to Succeed With Writing the Way I Do It..

Don’t get me wrong. I recognise the importance of doing this right, and I do have my plans to get some formal coaching on writing – especially because I intend to focus more on writing short stories and novels in the near future.

My experiences convince me more people will benefit from the value I have to offer if I can connect with them using that approach, instead of formal writing which non-business persons may find stifling and uninteresting. In fact I submitted a 500 word entry to a 2013 writing competition on 31st December 2013, so this is no joke!

But back to my take on getting formal coaching in writing…

By Following Simple Tips from Experts, I’m Achieving Exceptional Success Using Writing!

I started my journey into writing without any formal preparation.

After reading books by real world business marketing experts online, I noticed a common theme by most of them.

They kept saying:

“Write the way you talk.”

Another thing they said often was:

“Write using words that a 6th grader can understand.”

In other words, avoid using unnecessarily complex words. Keep it simple.

One more thing they constantly emphasized was:

“Tell stories. Share your experiences. Use real life examples.”

According to them doing so will make your target audience want to read your writing.

Then they also made it clear that one needs to:

“Offer ideas that provide useful insights and solve real problems people face. when applied to the personal or work lives of your readers.”

I’ve Shared Many of My Own True Stories About Writing Success, On This Blog

A recent one has to do with the 4,000 word case study agribusiness paper accepted for publication by an international organisation that paid me to write it.

My wonderful experience has been so exciting, that I’ve been unable to keep it to myself.

That’s why I’ve written to share my knowledge and experience in articles.

And I’ve also been gently pushing my own kids to develop interest in writing the way I do.

I’ve also been gently pushing my own kids to develop interest in writing the way I do.

I ask them to focus on earning decent passive income on a part time or full time basis… the way I do.

This way they see a tangible end that they can relate to, which assures them it’s not just another school exercise.

You see, I realise today that if I’d discovered paid writing while in school, I might have honed my writing skills earlier, and used it to earn additional income in my free time, during the years I was in paid employment.

I Don’t Want My Kids to Delay Getting Started Using Writing to Succeed Financially, Like I Did

I don’t want them to make the mistake I made.

That was why I made each one handle the bundle of 50 Euros totalling 2k euros, the day Professor Idowu (my co-author for the international agribusiness paper)  gave me the payment he’d received on my behalf via his Euro denominated domiciliary account.

I knew if they saw that I earned that much for writing a 4,000 word paper, it would make them take what I was saying about writing competently more seriously.

My mother counts the bundles of 50 euro notes I showed her

This Has Been an Ongoing Exercise with My Kids – Especially the 3 Oldest (all Boys)

I made the 14 year old attend a 6 month manual typewriting class in late 2012. When he finished it, I tasked him to write a short story that we could publish in his name on my blog. I got him to read Chinua Achebe’s “Things Fall Apart”, the popular “Oliver Twist” and other books based on stories.

Every now and then I’d ask him how far he’d gone. He’d often have nothing to show me. I’d deliberately make a fuss about how he was wasting all he learned in typing school, and how disappointed I was. Then I would make him go online with me to read Bamidele Onibalusi’s blog, saying to him: “This chap is just 19 years old. You can do what he’s doing if you try!”

If you know kids, especially teenagers, getting them to do stuff like this can be hard work.

But if you persist, they will eventually respond.

I knew I was getting through to my 14 year old son, when one day he told me he was almost done writing a story he had conceived!

When I eventually read his story, I liked it so much that I made slight corrections and published it on my blog late last year.

Incidentally, I’d always told him to think a lot, and to use what he saw/heard around him to come up with writing ideas. He apparently took that advice to heart.

I’ve since tasked him to teach his siblings how to type, using a typing tutor on my laptop

Last time we had a “meeting”, all 3 boys showed me short stories they’re working on, in different stages of completion on my laptop. This has encouraged me to consider getting them a used but rugged laptop that can take rough treatment. Before now I felt they would only play games and music on it!

But with what they’ve been doing, I already see useful progress.

What’s most exciting for me is that I know good writing skills will open doors of early financial success for them.

This is because it will empower them to develop independence in earning high level income regardless of their location at any point in time, like I do.

YOU (yes “YOU!”) can also develop good writing ability and use it to earn decent income on a part time or full time basis.

And you can start even if you lack money to attend formal writing classes. Then as you succeed, you can also coach your kids to do what you do.

At some point you can choose to invest some of the money you make, in taking your skills to the next level by taking formal writing lessons.

All the above will cost you is some sweat and time spent hammering away at your keyboard.

If you consider the lifetime of rewards that are bound to come from doing it, you’ll realize this is what some people call a no-brainer!

If You Truly Love Your Kids, You’ll Do This

When children are with their parents they go through a lot of experiences. Some are positive and others are not. In the course of those experiences, they learn different things – some good, some not so good, and then some, bad. You, as a parent can resolve to make those experiences beneficial to the kids, most – if not all – the time.

Sadly today, the experiences that kids go through are not in any way planned or structured. The result is that the learning, insight and “education” they acquire tend not to be planned or structured either.

In the villages, especially back in the old days, adults/parents were a lot more deliberate in the ways they chose to expose children to specific experiences.

There was often a specific/desired outcome in mind, most times when a young boy or girl or young man/woman was asked to do something. Books like Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart in which Okonkwo’s rise to adult (man) hood is described provide examples to support the foregoing assertion.

If you want your child to quickly find direction/purpose for him/herself in life, you need to help facilitate the process.

You can do this better than the teacher – because your child is more likely to trust you more. The teacher(s) can help consolidate on your efforts while the child is in school, but you would be the main “player”, helping steer the child towards eventual self-discovery.

That is the way it should be – you working with your child to chart his/her future, while the teacher (through close interaction with you) helps keep the child focused on the journey to self-discovery.

A child that benefits from this kind of “training”, will gradually evolve into an independent minded, self-motivated and focused adult.

She would be easier to teach because the natural interest in a future goal would have been stirred, so that the need to study/learn would be obvious to her.

The experiences that children go through in their developmental years often have a strong and lasting impact on them in their adult lives. Any parent who wants those experiences to be positive ones for his/her kids, will have to get personally involved in providing those experiences – and/or helping the children deal with the results of having them. It cannot be any other way.

Newcomers to a company typically have to undergo “induction”/training in different departments to facilitate their settling into their new jobs/roles in the company.

They are made to go through this, despite having been found to possess the needed qualifications and experience for their jobs. This is because the management recognizes that for them to function efficiently (to the benefit of the company), they will be better off being “helped” to achieve familiarity with existing procedures/systems faster.

Among other benefits, these newcomers will thus be expected to make fewer, avoidable errors in the early stages of performing their new duties.

This foregoing analogy describes what parents would be doing for their kids by “inducting” them early on into the ways of the world.

Parents should be able to bring their “expertise” in worldly affairs to bear on the “training” of their children.

Do you love your children? Do you want to give them the best possible preparation to succeed in their adult lives in society?

If YES, take the above ideas to heart, and apply them, from today, in relating with your kids.

You will be glad you did.

Emancipate Your Thinking: Many Roads Lead to Authentic Success!

Our persistent thoughts ultimately determine the outcome of our lives. This is a well known truth. It is for this reason that learning to control our thoughts is considered by successful people, to be a very important competence.

In many societies today, it appears fewer people are arriving adulthood with this ability. As a result, we’re witnessing, sadly too, poorer quality levels of individual accomplishment.

Too many people prefer to play safe by settling for “group thinking” i.e. aligning themselves with what the majority thinks. And this, even when they nurse strong contrary opinions or sentiments.

Let’s examine a typical situation in many societies (especially in my part of the world) that needs challenging.

Incidentally, Robert Kiyosaki – in his book “If You Want to Be Rich & Happy, Don’t Go to School?” – has already identified this problem.

Most young people are told by their parents that getting a good education is essential to succeeding in life.

Salawatu Abeni is a popular female musical artiste in Nigeria (in the traditional Yoruba Fuji genre).

Yet she barely finished her elementary schooling. Despite her poor educational background, she achieved significant success in her musical career. Expressing herself in English was however one area she lacked proficiency, Sometimes that presented a challenge if/when she had to communicate in that language.

At some point, Salawatu decided to enroll for private classes.

Some reports have it that she actually took a short course at the University of Lagos. Whatever she did, it worked, because whenever she spoke subsequently, one readily noticed marked improvements in her ability to express herself in English!

In effect, she’d gone about the business of getting “formal schooling” the other way round!

We have a saying in my language (Yoruba) actually justifies this approach

It goes thus:

“K’A RO ASO MO IDI, TABI K’A RO IDI MO ASO, KI’DI SAA MA PA OFO!”.

Translated literally, this phrase means:

“It doesn’t matter whether you tie a cloth around your waist or tie your waist around the cloth, so long as you don’t end up appearing naked in public!”.

Taken in context, it means: Salawatu went out and got successful using her skill as a singer, then returned to get an education using the money she had earned through her success.

Another good example many of us can relate to is the great Juju music exponent: King Sunny Ade.

A few decades back, interviewing him in English was not something he would have found agreeable. He had very limited competence in use of the language!

Today,  just as he does playing music, Sunny can hold his own before ANY audience in speaking English. How did he manage this? Simple. He got someone to provide practical coaching for him, till he achieved proficiency.

Since he was already making good money singing in his own language (Yoruba), he could afford to pay for the best available tutoring, and for as long as necessary.

How many people do you know, who blame lack of money for their inability to finish schooling?

I know too many like that!!

Maybe if they had been encouraged to use (or develop) their talents, skills or special knowledge to make a living from earlier on in life, they might have been able to do something like what Salawatu, and Sunny Ade did.

Many so-called “educated” people do not know how to make money by providing a service or product that others appreciate enough to pay money for.

Their schooling did not prepare them for that. Yet, this (traditional schooling) is the path they want their children to follow!

What is Education Anyway?

Napoleon Hill described an educated person as someone who applies the knowledge s/he acquires to productive purposes.

Many “formally schooled” persons do not do this.

And that’s why for instance, we find our graduates of mechanical or automobile engineering working in banks!

Even worse, many of these supposed “experts” of engineering will typically get their car engines serviced by roadside mechanics that have never even seen the four walls of a school!

This fact is underscored by the saying that “knowledge is NOT power – applied knowledge IS!”

Some parents discourage their children from trying to make money from early stages of their lives.

This is wrong.

I say this as a father of five kids. Two of them (boys) already earn periodic income by finding and selling metal items required by itinerant waste collectors. They also team up with their 14 year old elder brother, to make and sell my pineapple peel drinks in the school they attend.

Way back in 2002, when I started out in business, I vowed to educate my kids about money issues, and prepare to begin earning income before they clock ten.

The youngest of the three boys mentioned above will be eleven years old in July this year (2014).

Last week I bought him a complete set of electrician’s tools – multi-tester, pliers, soldering iron etc. And he’s already making use of them – having received some coaching from his visiting lesson teacher who happened to possess some useful knowledge on how to use them.

This youngest of my boys is headed for a technical training school. I’m sure of it!

There is no doubt in my mind that he will be best served by immediate exposure to practical training, based on what he already does in the house.

He figures things out for himself – and his mother readily passes faulty electrical devices to him to fix. Many times he succeeds. Rather than follow the crowd and push for him to attend the so called “university”, I know he needs to go to a technical college.

Until then, I’ll continue supporting him by providing practical tools, activities and experiences, to engage his creative energies. And he really loves it. You should see him put them to use at every opportunity. That alone tells me I’m doing the right thing!

The boys also have two sisters aged 4 and 8 respectively. I’m bidding my time with the girls, trying to study them and identify where their passions lie. It’s just a matter of time before I help them discover their own magnificent obsessions too.

The Earlier You Start, the Better for Your Child

Jim Rohn and Robert Kiyosaki in their writings advise that helping kids develop income earning talents and skills, as early as possible in life, is the wise thing for every parent to do.

Over 14 years ago, when my first child was born, I resolved to take their advice. Today, the results I’m getting confirm it was a wise decision.

Unfortunately, parents in our society generally believe that their children should finish school before beginning the business of learning how to make money and create wealth.

That needs to change – else the tragic experiences of poorly prepared graduates from our institutions will continue to torment us daily in our society. It’s time we changed our thinking.

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“Thinking is the most exacting job there is – which is why so few people engage in it” – Henry Ford

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What I Have Expressed Here Are My Personal (Experience-Based) Opinions

The ideas I share in this article were conceived over 14 years ago, and formed a major component of the talks I delivered in some organisations across Lagos.

You do not have to accept them. I do implore you however, to reflect on them. Read Robert Kiyosaki’s books: “If You Want to Be Rich & Happy, Don’t Go to School?”; “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”. Read also Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich”. They might help you arrive at your own ideas.

NB: This article was written based on excerpts from my Self-Development Bible™ titled “Ten Ways You Can Use Self-Development to Create the Future You Want”.

No. 124: What Today’s Teachers Miss (and How It Can Hurt Your Child!)

This is not an attack on teachers. It’s instead an informed view of what a growing number of this group of “public speakers” are failing to do, inadvertently denying learners (our kids!) the most important “knowledge and skills” they need to excel in life.

If you’re one, or have relations with one, my advice is that you read this piece with an open mind.

SCROLL DOWN TO READ FULL ISSUE

Click now to view the latest issue of Tayo Solagbade's Public Speaking IDEAS page

Publication: Weekly Public Speaking IDEAS Newsletter

Date: Monday 13th January 2014

No:124

Title: What Today’s Teachers Miss (and How It Can Hurt Your Child!)

Author & Publisher: Tayo K. Solagbade [Tel: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic) ]

Blog URL: http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/blog

Archive (E-mail version started 14th May 2012): Click here to view

Archive (Blog version started 24th September 2011): Click here


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No. 124: What Today’s Teachers Miss (and How It Can Hurt Your Child!)

This is not an attack on teachers. It’s instead an informed view of what a growing number of this group of “public speakers” are failing to do, inadvertently denying learners (our kids!) the most important “knowledge and skills” they need to excel in life.

If you’re one, or have relations with one, my advice is that you read this piece with an open mind.

I’m not the enemy here. Our collective ignorance is.

We must join hands to improve the quality of real world relevant “education” being dished out to our loved ones, by this most trusted group of “speakers” in our societies.

What Teachers Often Miss Today

My kids will tell you I am the harshest critic of their school teachers. But not to the faces of the latter. That would amount to setting the classroom on fire for the former :-)

Instead, each time I interact with my kids, I often discover they have certain yawning gaps in knowledge (and often skills) which should not be there, given the child’s (supposed) attained level.

A closer examination of the “teachers” has revealed, to me, that many settled for teaching only after failing to find jobs based on what they studied in the higher institution.

Most have no formal teacher training or experience.

My mother worked for over 3 decades as a school teacher. She went through all sorts of training. And I recall that before retirement. she got an advanced certification is a Montessorri program in Lagos.

I and my siblings passed through my mothers’ “teaching” in the school we attended at nursery and primary level. It never ended in school. She kept at us even at home. Be assured that I am a good representation of how we all turned out.

The above convinced me I needed to play an influential role in “teaching” my kids.

But here’s what my mother did, which most teachers today do not. She taught us the basics…the fundamentals of every subject. She spent quality time drilling those rudiments of the key subjects into our heads.

Then she relentlessy gave us exercises designed to force us to self-study. Today, we all have the unique ability to tutor ourselves on any subject and excel at it. I exaggerate not!

There was one more thing she did:

She talked to us about the importance of believing in ourselves. Of never feeling inadequate before others, no matter how “superior” they appeared to be. And she walked her talk for us to see, everywhere she went.

That’s why today, each of us enjoys the reputation of being “independent thinkers”. We do not care to join the crowd. We decide what we want, and go for it, even if NO ONE ELSE is interested, or indeed if others speak against.

As long as it’s legal, does not hurt anyone, and we feel it’s OK for us, nothing else matters. We know how to define our own success!

Many teachers today do not do most of the above.

Instead, they let the influence of society – often the wayward aspects of it! – dictate what they teach kids under their care.

This is why most of today’s youths have a warped sense of values and orientation.

To illustrate, below is a screenshot of an excellent observation made by Olufemi Oyinloye, a Facebook friend today, which I posted a response to.

Screenshot of an excellent observation made by Olufemi Oyinloye, a Facebook friend today, which I posted a response to.

His grouse?

Corporate organisations out here, and in many places across the world are focussing most of their youths “development” efforts on sports and entertainment related projects.

Little or nothing is being done along the lines of educational or intellectual development. Could this be a mainly self-serving kind of Corporate Social Responsibility by these companies…?

Like my friend rightly asked, are they trying to say our kids don’t have anything “upstairs” that can be developed just as physical skills can?

You and I know the answer.

The Noisy Brand of Success Is NOT The Only One…and Definitely NOT The Best!

People get paid daily for their creative skills in writing, software development etc.

Thousands, and tens of thousands in dollars, pounds, Euros etc arrive via bank transfers and other legitimate payment channels into the hands of uniquely skilled persons, even right here in Africa.

It all happens quietly.

Unlike the noisy success of the entertainment industry, no newspaper reports announce any of it. That’s why many of the unitiated walk past others earning high level income that way, without knowing it.

Afterall, neither how much I earn, nor the unusual but legit way I earn it will ever be discernable by looking at my forehead!

Sometimes an internationally funded entity pays for work done e.g research surveys, concept papers, lectures, training, consulting etc. At other times, individual clients pay.

Delayed payments rarely occur. Parties involved always get win-win benefits. That’s why most such relationships established often last for decades!

As I said in a recent article, most African/Nigerian kids know nothing about the highly rewarding vocations and markets mentioned above, because our society is often devoid of such examples.

It’s the loud cases of celebrity entertainers like Tuface, P-Square and D-Banj (and famous sports persons like Mikel Obi) they are drawn to by the mass media.

And that makes it hard for kids or young people to imagine it is possible, talk less of believing they can succeed in the silent and unconventional manner described here.

Yet they can, if they are properly guided. We, their parents, are in the best position to do that.

As one who succeeds in this unconventional manner, with honesty and integrity, I am coaching my kids to discover their own talent for doing same. The best part is that anyone can still do it all, while holding down a well paying 9 to 5 salary job!

That means you can effectively double your income without needing to quit your day job*. There is no better gift one can give a child than this.

If you help your child develop this additional level of skill and competence, s/he will forever be grateful to you!

[NB: Renowned US based veteran public speaking mentor, Burt Dubin, always counsels his mentees to NOT quit their day jobs, till they establish reliable income to replace their salary. Learn more about Burt’s mentoring here.]

Final Words: Take Personal Action to Help Your Kids!

Yesterday, on Facebook, I shared a link to my FULL blog post on the subject. It’s titled “Don’t Just ‘Tell’ Your Kids to Do…Be an Exemplary Role Model.

Photo - I made each of my kids handle a fifty Euro note from a bundle I received as payment for the agribusiness paper I wrote for an International organisation.

In it I explained how and why I made each of my kids handle a fifty Euro note from a bundle I received as payment for the agribusiness paper I wrote for an International organisation.

You see, I’m committed to showing my kids how to use their intellectual creativity to achieve highly productive and rewarding financial ends.

I urge you to do the same, quickly too, or the avalanche of “reality shows” will kill that instinct in them!

Read through my above mentioned blog post to get started. It offers practical ideas you can use.

Good luck!

Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist

*Sole Agent For Burt Dubin’s Speaker Mentoring Service In Africa

Mobile: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic)

http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com

Self-Development/Performance Enhancement SpecialistTayo Solagbade – works as a multipreneurial freelance writer providing  zero risk article and report writing support for website owners, while travelling slowly across West Africa as a Location Independent Multipreneur.

He’s presently based in Benin Republic, where he’s preparing an English-French Language Guide, City Travel Guides, and a Commercial Rabbit Farming Guide.

He earns multiple streams of income providing clients with performance improvement training/coaching, custom MS Excel-VB solutions, web marketing systems, freelance writing services, and best practice extension support services (for farm business owners).

In a previous life, before leaving to become self-employed, Tayo served for seven years as a high performing manager in Guinness Nigeria. He rose from Shift Brewer, to Training & Technical Development Manager, then later acted in senior management roles as Production Manager and Technical Manager.

When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Self-Development Nuggets™ blog, and Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter (which he publishes to promote Burt Dubin’s Public Speaking Mentoring service to experts working across the African continent).

For a limited time, Tayo is available to speak to your group or organization for a moderate fee. Send e-mail to tayo at tksola dot com. You can also visit www.tksola.com to learn more.

Connect with him on Twitter @tksola.com and Facebook.

==================

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Useful Resources for Speakers

Burt Dubin works with people who want to be speakers, and with speakers who want to be masters.

Burt Dubin works with people who want to be speakers, and with speakers who want to be masters. Click here to visit his website NOW and submit a contact form message telling him what challenges you’re facing, and how you’d like him to help you. Tell him I sent you, and you’ll get a pleasant surprise offer from him.

Burt Dubin’s monthly Speaking Biz Strategies Letter [Signup & get a 7-Part Email Course on “How To Succeed And Get Paid As A Professional Speaker“]

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Publications

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With its Money back if not delighted Guarantee hardly any are returned.

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Presentation Magic - Speaking Business Success

Presentation Magic

A live example, including a complete audio recording of a program Burt created from scratch–on a topic he knew nothing about and never, ever presented before! See how you, guided by your personal Learning Guide, (Presentation Magic), can do this too and thrill audiences as often as you want.

Presentation Magic Manual with new pages added plus 3 audio CDs.

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ProgramManual

How To Create a Great Program Manual

Discover how you can produce a precious memento of you and your program. Capture over 44 model pages you can easily adapt for your use. Engage proven principles that add value to the experience of sitting at your feet and learning from you.

This is a reprise of the historic presentation that launched the Speaking Success System.

No copy of this 2 CD program and 50 page Learning Guide has ever been returned.

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Smart Exercising Will Keep You Fit, Healthy and Alive - Click to read
Click to read article titled: 'Smart Exercising Will Keep You Fit, Healthy and Alive'...and ONE other. Self-Development/Performance Enhancement Specialist - Tayo Solagbade - works as a multipreneurial freelance writer providing zero risk article and report writing support for website owners, while travelling slowly across West Africa as a Location Independent Multipreneur. 

 

Using MS Excel® Solver for Least Cost Feed Formulation Can Be Easy - But Also Dangerous (How to Protect Yourself) - Click to downloadDownload above PDF

NEW PDF - 10 Frequently Asked Questions About Feed FormulationDownload above PDF

THEY WROTE…


“(Tayo Solagbade) is amazing and I think he is going to produce some impressive results online…” – click here to read full comment by Patrick Meninga (US based 6 figure income blogger who gained fame for building a $2,000 per month adsense website and selling it for $200,000).

—————————–

“Tayo, I honestly believe you are one of those who will succeed at anything he does. Your commitment and effort has been outstanding….Thanks for all your hard work since I’ve been here – you will be sorely missed. I don’t need to wish you good luck, you have the ability to make your own luck. – Andy”(R. Jones)*

*Operations Manager, Guinness Nigeria Plc Benin Brewery, December 2001 (Handwritten comments in farewell/xmas cards sent to Tayo Solagbade following his resignation to start his own business).

———————–

Click here to contact Tayo… 

SD Nuggets Blog

New posts from last week that may interest you! *
Public Speaking

[Monday]:

Entrepreneurship [Tuesday]:

Self-Development [Wednesday]:

Career Development [Thursday]:

Parenting [Friday]:

Writing/Blogging [Saturday]:

Want me to write for you? Click here…

 

Don’t Just “Tell” Kids to Do…Be an Exemplary Role Model

When the bundle of currency notes was handed to me by Professor Idowu Oladele (who’d received the payment via his Euro domiciliary account), it was the first time I was setting eyes on the "Euro" in cash . If I sound like a "bush man" by admitting the foregoing, forgive me. I’m just being myself. I do not believe in creating false impressions, trying to make myself seem to know more than I do :-)

I earn income in dollars for some of my products/services, but the cash gets to me often with the help of my sister who works in a bank out here, in Naira. I’ve of course handled both dollars and pounds in cash many times over the years.

Odd as it may sound however, I’d not seen the Euro physically, before that day.

When I got home, I sat my kids down, and made each one take a fifty Euro note and examine it closely, then tell me what currency it was. Maybe it was the Igbo blood that runs in their veins, but all of them correctly announced that it was fifty Euros. Again, forgive me if you think this is no big deal. Maybe my "bush man" attitude is what makes me think it is :-)

Any reader of my parenting articles will know I seize any opportunity to share my experiences of the world with my kids.

Even the smallest of them who turns four in a few months gets my full attention, each time I do this exercise.

It’s not some ego trip.

Far from it. Instead, I do it because I feel driven, even compelled. A strange sense of urgency to pass on as much of my real world experiences to each of my kids possesses me.

I do it so dedicatedly, that their mother has accused me of caring for no one else apart from the kids!

The truth is however that many potentially traumatizing experiences I had struggling to breakthrough in the business world my country are the cause

Those experiences taught me that very little of what I learnt in school, and even less of what I’d picked up in paid employment, would help me succeed in business in my country.

I had to unlearn and relearn so many things that I thought I knew.

And it was such a slow and painful process that exposed me to prolonged periods of humiliation, and psychological suffering. All that time I knew it was not me that was the problem. I knew it was the incomplete "educational" preparation I’d had that was limiting me.

I did not know the ways of the world. That people will often not be straight and honest. That things are rarely white and black i.e clearly defined. I was not ready for the widespread duplicity most people engage in.

In essence, I was simply NOT street smart enough to succeed in business…in NIGERIA!

But soon I learned.

I had to!

I realised no one was willing to help me effect the needed corrections or filling the gaps in my “education”.

So, I took the bull by the horns, as they say, buried my fears and doubts, and began taking the needed steps to find a solution that worked for me.

A careful analysis led me to the conclusion that doing business like the majority would go against my values and ethics. And those I will never compromise.

I therefore decided to channel my energy and efforts into using my creative intellectual skills to attract high profile buyers for my solutions. Time soon revealed most of such people would be better found using my online self-promotion platform.

So, I gradually stopped seeking clients/work offline, and focussed my efforts 99% ONLINE.

Today, all of that silent, but hard work is paying off.

My progress and success rate has really ramped up, especially after I relocated to Benin Republic.

From that time back in April 2013, my work volume and quality simply hit the roof, and I began to get quality sales leads from my online self-promotion.

One day, the opportunity to write the agribusiness research paper on using Excel-VB to develop software for Feed Formulation came.

And the payment being offered for the accepted paper was 2,500 Euros.

As with everything else, I told my kids about it. I sat them down and reminded them how people would phone me after reading my articles on agribusiness. They recalled email alerts from GT Bank for payments ranging from N1, 500 to over N25, 000 for different products and services described on my website.

Then I told them I was in the country to conduct questionnaire surveys for this paper I’d been asked to write by an International Organisation, which had given me a contract, stating it would pay me.

I explained how my co-author Professor friend had sent me the Call for papers document and asked me to write the proposal.

“If they accept the final paper I submit, they will pay us 2,500 Euros. Do you know how much that is in Naira?” I asked.

They all said no. So I got on the web, and did a check of the prevailing exchange rate at www.coinmill.com and did a quick calculation to show them how much money it would be in Naira.

When they saw the figure, the eldest one said “You mean they will pay you that for writing 4,000 words?”I said “Yes. But it’s not just anything that I’ll write. My paper must meet certain conditions they’ve specified. And of course it must offer useful new knowledge/information.”

But I knew telling them about it would not be the same as showing them the real thing if/when it materialized.

This was just too strange a way of making money for them to accept. They would have to see it to believe.

You must understand. I’ve always pushed them to think and write creatively.

I’ve challenged them to write short stories. To think up interesting new twists and angles to real life experiences they have, and then write it out as a short story.

And they’ve been trying to do it.

As you can imagine, with kids – in Africa’s Nigeria, who see little creative effort rewarded – they did not do it with much sustained enthusiasm.

So I knew that if they saw the physical monetary reward of my own writing efforts, it would provide them a more lasting motivation.

They would readily invest more effort – on their own – to develop the habit of creative thinking and writing.

That was why I called the meeting and let them see the bundle of notes.

By the time we finished our meeting, I could see that the three older children in particular, had come away with a new found enthusiasm for the ideas I proposed.

Talking with the 14 year old during our subsequent outing, I could see he was more open to doing more writing, to improve on this one he did months back.

As I’ve tried to emphasize in all of my past write-ups on a similar theme, I do not share my success stories, in order to brag.

Instead, I do it because our society is often devoid of such examples.

And that makes it hard for kids or young people to imagine it is possible, talk less of believing they can succeed in that manner.

Yet they can, if they are properly guided. We, their parents, are in the best position to do that.

As one who succeeds in this unconventional manner, with honest and integrity, I am coaching my kids to discover their own talent for doing same.

The best part is that anyone can still do it all, while holding down a well paying 9 to 5 salary job!

That means you can effectively double your income without needing to quit your day job. There is no better gift one can give a child than this.

In 2014, and beyond, I urge you to help your child develop this additional level of skill and competence. S/he will forever be grateful to you!

A Lesson on Money Spending from John D. Rockefeller

Those who have experienced severe lack of money and gone on to become financially successful often display frugality and prudence in handling money. The authors of “The Millionaire Next Door” reported from their over 2 decade study of mostly self-made millionaires across America, that majority of them built their wealth slowly and from scratch too.

Getting rich that way takes time and great discipline too.

We are told that many of them enjoyed long years of marriage and in most cases the couples actively collaborated to find ways to both save money, and also grow the money they saves.

Many had/have a penchant for seeking bargains in shopping for clothes and other consumables. They rarely chose to buy from expensive high end stores patronized by free spending celebrities and career persons living high consumption lifestyles.

Today, I had a meeting with Professor Idowu Oladele

He co-authored the paper I recently got approved for international publication on use of Excel-VB Software Development for Feed Formulation by Smallholder farmers and Extension Specialists.

The last time we saw each other was in 2005, when I’d visited the University of Ibadan (Oyo state, Nigeria) to get my transcript.

During our conversation, he’d shared his experiences in academia with me, and I’d left with a copy of his extensive and very impressive resume. Some weeks later, in consultation with him, I’d created a web based version of that resume and hosted it on a sub domain on my website.

He would eventually move to a university in Botswana, while participating in various international projects.

Today, he is the Director of the School of Agricultural Sciences at North West University, in South Africa.

We’ve come a long way. Keeping in touch since we both graduated in the same set, in 1992, from the department of Agricultural Extension Services of the University of Ibadan. We came top of the class back then.

Today, our collaboration on an international level marks the beginning of a new era. There is so much value we can add to smallholder farmers across Africa.

We went outside the hotel grounds to have lunch.

While speaking with the attendants, we noted that the price for virtually every item on the menu was really high.

For me, it was way too high. Those who have read my first article about why I relocated to Benin Republic will have noticed my deliberate emphasis on low cost of food in that small country.

Dele made a valid point that we were only going to eat there for that day, and would not return afterwards. I agreed with him, but noted that it still pained me anyway, and that if I’d been alone (and the one paying), I’d have chosen to go elsewhere.

Like I told him, it’s not just about the money.

For me, I find it greatly upsetting that food should differ so sharply in pricing between two neighbouring countries. That’s why anytime I visit Nigeria these days, and I have to buy food outside the home, I feel like I’m throwing money away.

My experiences with lack of money, and the discovery that I can get good quality food, in Cotonou, at almost a third of the price I pay in Nigeria, makes it hard for me to do otherwise.

For me, that money could be put to better use, if not saved away for the future. Dele expressed agreement with what I said by recalling a Yoruba saying that water dripping slowly, if left to continue, will eventually fill up a room, should it find no outlet to escape through.

At that point I let on that people have criticized me for being miserly, or even stingy with regard to money.

In response I’ve often told them the anecdote I read about John D. Rockefeller.

One day, John D. Rockefeller used a pay phone to make a long distance call. He’d put in a number of one dollar coins to cover his call. By the time he was done, and he checked how long he’d been on, he realised he’d used up less time than he’d estimated he would. His calculations showed he would get at least one dollar change back from the machine.

But after he hung up and waited a while, nothing happened. So he knocked on the pay phone, shook it, thinking the coin got stuck. Still no money came out.

Determined, he dialled the operator and said “Hi. I just made a call and spent less time that I’d put coins in the pay phone for. But despite all my efforts, it’s refused to produce my one dollar coin change!”

The operator apologized and said “Can you tell me what your name is Sir?”

He was about to say “John D. Rockefeller”, when it occurred to him that being a millionaire, the operator would be shocked to discover he was the one complaining about a mere one dollar of change!

So he said “Never mind. I’ll let it go.” And he hung up.

John D. Rockefeller explained that in the Rockefeller family, every child from a very early age is taught to have a very high regard for the smallest unit of money.

They are made to realise that every dollar adds up, and must therefore be well accounted for when spent.
This attitude is what has helped the Rockefeller family preserve its massive wealth from generation to generation.

I have adopted that mental attitude, and actively coach my kids to do the same thing at every opportunity.

When you can eat a good, satisfying meal for N100, why spend N200? Why not spread that N200 over 2 decent meals?

And it’s not just with food. In every area of life, the same rule should apply.

Anyone who wants to build long lasting wealth will adopt this approach to handling money.

Teach Kids With True Stories and Demonstrations

Most kids love people who teach them new things they can put to immediate productive use. If they discover you’re like that, they can even pass up meal times, to pick up some new knowledge or skill from you!

How do I know this?

It’s because I’ve worked with other people’s kids (especially those from six years old and above), and successfully influenced them in that manner, very many times.

I’m Not Referring to Formal Academics Here…

Just like everything else in life, it is important to strike an intelligent balance in providing learning. Academics are just one of a number of learning dimensions to function successfully in society.

However, sometimes parents tend to be busy with their own work. Some feel they cannot afford to take time off to provide other kinds of learning i.e. the non-academic kind. Others feel it is not necessary.

Some believe the child will learn on his/her own whatever is needed in that regard.
My experiences confirm that’s not good enough. No parent should leave his/her child exposed in that manner, to avoidable anxiety, confusion and even potentially traumatizing suffering.

Some Examples of Non-Academic Things Your Child May Need to Learn:

Does your teenager know where the market or shopping mall you do your buy is? Can s/he take over your tasks in the event of an emergency? Does s/he know anything about handling members of the opposite sex? What about how to make common dishes you feed him/her? Can s/he in fact find his/her way around the kitchen?

These are things we often forget our kids will have to do as adults.

Does it not make sense that they learn early how, and get a lot of practise before that time comes?

Based on my painful personal experiences growing up, I say YES!

Coaching Your Child to Learn Such Things Can Be Easier Than You Think

It does not matter the number of sex education books your child reads. The stories YOU can share with him/her will often turn out to be more instructive than all s/he reads in books!

It always amazes me how many street-smart parents fail to pass on their street savvy to their offspring. Instead they pet and pamper them till they become incapable of independent thought or action.

The above situation can doom even an academically talented child to failure in life as an adult.

Apart from telling then stories, demonstrating how to do something kids want to learn about (e.g. making cakes and biscuits…see below) is also an effective strategy. I know because I use is successfully on a regular basis.

The Problem Is: Many Parents Are Not Connecting Enough with Their Kids

That’s often why such parents fail to function as coach-parents.

It’s not about how much time you spend with them. It’s the quality of time that matters.

When they do wrong, give firm corrective feedback, but always have something ready to cushion the impact of what you say to the child.

Usually, it is best to use an activity or subject that’s likely to be interesting or exciting to them.

My kids know what folder to go on my laptop to watch the new You tube demonstration videos I tell them I’ve found. They are often on subjects or themes I’ve identified will be useful for them.

Once they’re done watching, you can be sure they’ll be trying out what they learnt!

The two videos below are recent examples:

  1. How To Turn A Beer Can Into The Only Camping Stove You’ll Ever Need
  2. How To Bake A Cake Without An Oven

After watching the video, two of the boys sat down and immediately put what they learnt to use.

Suddenly, I began seeing small “beer can stoves” all over the house.

Then since I’d brought home the charcoal stove I used to make my pineapple peel cakes, they soon pressure me to show them how to bake cakes using it.

It is noteworthy that getting a charcoal stove started takes a lot of work.

When they first started, the kids bitterly complained that I did not let them add kerosene, to quicken the burning. I told them the ideas of using charcoal bricks was to save money, and that using kerosene would be an avoidable added expense.

So they had to burn paper, nylons, and then fan the embers vigorously for up to 5 minutes continuously. But they kept at it, because they wanted to make the cakes!

See how what they wanted, motivated them to endure, and get used to what they initially disliked?

We made the first batch of cakes on the morning of 31st December 2013. By midnight of that day, the 3 boys were still up working as a team to finish baking the cakes they’d prepared.

The next morning (New Year’s day), I pointed out that the cakes were not fully “cooked”. So they made the charcoal fire again, and put the cakes back on.

You see after their first success “making the fire”, doing it again was no problem!

And that was a major psychological victory for them. Such lessons are NOT learnt in academic class!

Later that day, they proudly showed off the finished cakes (those they’d not gobbled up that is!) to their grandmother. Interestingly, they even discovered how to make biscuits, quite by accident. So this project yielded and extra unplanned benefit :-)