Category Archives: Parenting

Career Development, Entrepreneurship, General, My DN Travel News, My Ideas for Making Nigeria Better, Parenting, Self-Development

Defeat Traitors Using Compassion (Hint: Welcome a Judas into Your Life!)

September 12, 2014 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

FACT: You can be a genius and still fail due to a "close friend’s" betrayal.

This week, I’m teaching my kids about this. "Et tu Brutus?!" Caesar’s famous exclamation is one of the classic examples of how great people responded to discovery of acts of betrayal by those closest to them.

In my personal opinion, I believe enduring the betrayal of our closest allies, friends, relatives etc, and going on in spite of it, to achieve our important goals in life, is the greatest way to succeed.

Until you have had to deal with such a situation, you probably may never know for sure just how tough you are, or how much you really want to succeed. This article offers ideas for the interested individual about how to turn this type of situation to his/her advantage.

Have You Ever Had A "Judas" In Your Life?

Have you ever had to associate with certain individuals who you later sensed and went on to discover were in the habit of giving out your personal information, or even telling what you consider confidential or "secret" to others they knew from relating with you, you did not approve of?

Some would do this in order to gain the favour of those they passed the information to. Others could do it to spite you – for instance, maybe they feel they need to bring you down, for being (what they consider) ‘too proud" or "overconfident".

Have you ever discovered that a certain person you allowed to get close to you/confided in, turned out to have sought you out so as to gain your confidence and then betray you to those who "sent " him/her? This happens all the time – especially between people or groups that compete against one another. Individuals and large corporations, nations etc all play this game in one form or the other. This article offers ideas for the interested individual about how to turn this type of situation to his/her advantage.

IMPORTANT NOTE: You may not be consciously competing with anyone. However, those who observe you may feel what you are doing affects them one way or the other. This could make them decide YOU are THEIR competition. That makes YOU a target! How do you deal with that situation when it develops? Read on for some ideas.

Welcome A “JUDAS” Into Your life!™

Let me make what should (hopefully) be a humorous addition to this chapter that might make it easier that story and you will find that it was said that Judas was "chosen".

In life, you can decide to see each person that chooses to play "antagonist", "critic" or "enemy" as the "unfortunate Judas" in your own life who is destined to help you achieve another level of success or greatness though one or more acts of "betrayal"!

Now, I will tell you that in my experience, this really does happen. And many times I have personallydiscovered that the "Judas" of my life at any point in time usually lives or works in fairly close proximity to me – denying me the convenience of avoiding him/her! As a result, I am forced to find a way to relate with the person without compromising my position.

Your Judas Will NOT Be Your "Friend" But S/he Can Help You GROW!

The truth based on the above, about the individuals described is that event they they made out to be your "friends", their actions were not those a friend would take. They were in fact more consistent with what an "enemy" would do!

So, what do you do, when you find them out? I say it depends on the circumstances. In my other articles titled, "Do You Know How To Deal With Those Who Mock And Ridicule You?" and "Why You May Want To Rejoice When Others Mock You", I suggested that the reader consider limiting his/her contact with persons who adopted a negative stance of mockery and ridicule toward him or her.

However, in this article, I am referring to persons who have taken it upon themselves to go against you – not just to taunt, mock and ridicule, but to bring you down or even harm you. Such persons would be correctly described as enemies. But rather than run away from them or hide, I want to ask you to see them as quite useful to have around!

The Dalai Lama Believes We Need Enemies

The Dalai Lama is the spiritual leader of Tibet, who has (I understand) been in exile for some decades now, since the Chinese occupation of his country. There is a quote I read somewhere credited to this great sage, that have personally found quite instructive:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Enemies test our ability to feel compassion, and strengthen us in doing so” – Dalai Lama.
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The Dalai Lama Is Right

It is my belief that we need "enemies" or antagonists in our lives. They help us to keep our heads from going into the clouds, and by so doing help us stay "human" especially when we’ve been successfully forging ahead in pursuing our magnificent obsessions!(To learn what I mean by "Magnificent Obsession", read the article version of my 113 page self-help print manual titled Ten Ways You Can Use Self-Development To Create The Future You Want.)

Personally, I would “get worried” if everyone around me keeps saying they like me, and I never run into anyone who feels or acts differently. I once heard it said that “a little dose of paranoia is healthy”. My point is that it would be folly for anyone to expect that everyone else would like her. I said this earlier and I’m saying it again: there will always be people who will not like you (or will not want to work or cooperate with you). You MUST prepare – and learn how – to deal with such people.

Also, it is my opinion that we need the periodic ”tests” of our abilities posed by those people who refuse to “like” us and who give us a hard time. Just imagine if everybody liked you and always gave you an easy run. Imagine if everybody said you were their favorite and there was no single person who expressed reservations about you, or was cynical about what you could or could not do (?).

What If We Stopped Having Bad People Or Bad Things In This World?

Maybe I’ll take it a bit further – what if we suddenly stopped having "bad people" or "bad things" happening in the world? It would be quite boring and unchallenging to continue living here wouldn’t it? We lock our cars because someone could gain easy entry if we didn’t. We watch what we say because a mischievous person might report to others when we say things that are not exactly "nice" about them.

Simply put, “bad” people – or the possibility of a bad thing happening – keep us alert and “on our toes”. It is this same consciousness that makes us teach our children what they need to do to stay safe and out of trouble when they are away from us. Without the knowledge gained from the previous so-called "bad" experiences in society, we would not be wiser about how to live in this world – talk less of being able to advise our children – would we?

Now, a person that perpetually antagonizes us might eventually push us to a point where we actually develop an intense dislike (or hatred) for him. The Dalai Lama however challenges us NOT to harbour such feelings towards anyone – even when it is someone that obviously takes delight in causing us pain or discomfort. It’s ironic that most religions actually advocate this philosophy for adoption by believers and YET, many believers find that they are often unable to really practice it!

Why? Because they are human, and it actually takes tremendous effort and commitment to maintain a compassionate disposition to people who make things difficult for us, or do not like us! It’s so much easier, for instance, to read the portion of the bible where the believer is asked to "turn the other cheek" than to actually do what it says. I am sure many who read the foregoing statement will understand what I mean. When it comes to "doing" it , a lot of people “struggle”.

The secret to mastering the art of feeling compassion for one’s "enemies" or "antagonists" is to ALWAYS remember this:

Without the "threat" of a bad thing or person coming around to do us "harm", we are likely to relax to the point where we lose grip of the things we already have in control. Think about sports – the team or individual that usually wins is not necessarily the one that scores first. No, it is often the one that gets in the lead, then STAYS ALERT to – and thwarts – all attempts by the opponent to equalise till the game ends!

Like I said earlier, the Dalai Lama is right because ALWAYS, at the end of it all – maybe when I’m moving on – I find that I have become stronger due to the perpetual presence of my "Judas(es)".

Some typical benefits include increased "mental stamina", "thickened skin", "self-control" etc.

This has been my personal experience.

I am sure you will find that yours will be similar (or better) if you adopt this philosophy towards your "enemies" or "antagonists".

"To Laugh Often And Much, To Win The Respect Of Intelligent People And The Affection Of Children, To Earn The Appreciation Of Honest Critics And Endure The Betrayal Of False Friends, To Appreciate Beauty, To Find The Best In Others, To Leave The World A Bit Better, Whether By A Healthy Child, A Garden Patch, Or A Redeemed Social Condition; To Know Even One Life Has Breathed Easier Because You Have Lived. This Is To Have Succeeded!" – Ralph Waldo Emerson

So, are you ready to welcome a Judas into your life today? It could be the start of your climb to a new level of personal success!

PS: This article is based on excerpts from the original piece written by Tayo K. Solagbade in October 2006.

General, My DN Travel News, Parenting, Self-Development, Writing/Blogging

Introduce Your Kids to the Philosophy of Personal Success Achievement (A Real Life Example) – Part 2 of 2

September 6, 2014 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

Yesterday, in part 1 of 2, I ended my true story at the point where I asked my kids: "What do you call a child of God?". They said: "A child of God."
But I told them: NO! [And they looked at me in confusion]. When I told them THE answer, I saw the looks of surprise on their faces.

This article is based on excerpts from a verbatim transcript of an MP3 audio presentation I now offer for download. If you’d like to get the MP3 to learn the answer I gave to that question, as well as hear my full message on this subject to boost your chances of personal/parenting success, fill/submit this form (click).

Important Note : Whether parents or school owners choose to listen to me is immaterial.

"This is just my own way of giving back. Without access to…without exposure to the contents of that book (Think and Grow Rich), I would not be who I am today, as an entrepreneur.

If you go to www.tayosolagbade.com, you will find out more about me, and you will understand what I’m trying to say.

I want to share with other how I discovered that what I learnt in school – the traditional education that I got – would not help me achieve the success I desired passionately, to achieve and which I set out to pursue, in 2002 January, after I left my job as a high flying manager in Guinness Nigeria Plc.

I will NOT put up the information for direct public access. YOU will have to take the step to request it – fill/submit this form (click)

General, My DN Travel News, Parenting, Self-Development

Introduce Your Kids to the Philosophy of Personal Success Achievement (A Real Life Example) – Part 1 of 2

September 5, 2014 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

On Sunday 17th August 2014 a.m, I had my first Personal Achievement Coaching (PAC) project conversation with my children. I asked them: “What is a child of God called?” and told them it was NOT “child of God”.

If you truly believe in God, know that this is a message from God to you. If you say I’m not a pastor (or other religious leader), I urge to keep your ears open, and your mind free from bias as you read. You will learn TRUTHS that will convince you.

[NB: If you’re not familiar with my PAC™ programme, read this article(click). I launched this coaching programme to share the magic formula for personal success I discovered by studying Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich – which has helped me achieve unrelenting success in spite of adversity over the past 2 decades.]

That morning, I sat them down – all five of them….

We’ve come a long way as a family. And they know the suffering we have been through.

They know the humiliation I have suffered as a member of my bigger family. I have said this in many articles recently.

At a point I became the "Bambialla" (local term for "beggar") of the Solagbade family. This is no secret. I have mentioned it in several past articles.

Apart from that, if you meet anybody who…is my relative, say my siblings, parents etc, they will confirm that I have told them I have no problems, I don’t feel any embarrassment of any sort – if they tell what they know happened to me.

For me, what happened to me is proof that there is something wrong with our educational system.

I don’t have a problem talking about it. Failure is never anything you should allow to be personal.

You MUST externalize failure at all times. Understand that if you fail, it is because there is something you need to learn.

These are some of the things you need to learn: The Philosophies of Success!

If you understand that, you will know you’re just on a journey of discovering how to succeed.

I understood that, because I had been exposed to the right books. But still, it didn’t make it any less painful.

But like I said, I have no problems hearing that somebody else is telling my story saying "Oh you know they were lending him money etc"…it is IMMATERIAL!

Like the saying goes: "It does not matter what happens to you what is important is how you deal with what happens to you."

Funny thing about the above saying is that people use it all the time, and yet they will not let the person who is going through it, and choosing to be courageous about it, focus on being courageous and succeeding!

Instead they begin to refer all the time to his failures. This is the reason why we know that the schooling system we have is FAULTY!

This is why people use success quotes like the above, and still turn around to mock the person that is going through failure, and persisting in spite of it!!

One example: Let’s say you have a radio program, and voice a quote like: "It does not matter what happens to you. What is important is how you deal with what happens to you."

Then 2 months later, you encounter a former school mate who is struggling in life, but is dealing with his challenges with courage – and YOU start LAUGHING at him! That would be a sign that you don’t understand the quote you shared on your radio program!!

And that’s the problem I see a lot in society today.

People read all these books and talk and talk and talk, but the fact is that in their lives, they do not apply the things they say with their mouths!

It’s the same thing when they take the affirmations from the bible and voice them. The way they live their lives, show they do not believe those things they say from the bible.

And this is the fundamental problem.

Now, with books like Think & Grow Rich, when the contents are properly taught, people discover that they change in form of their habits.

Their thinking habits and their habits in the real world change.

They become TRANSFORMED BEINGS and then they begin to act consistently, along the lines of what they have READ, and what they have been TAUGHT.

That is when they become SUPERIOR BEINGS and begin to achieve at a level that what we call MERE MORTALS will not be able to comprehend.

So, what I’m saying is that you need to understand that there are some things your school will not teach you. Yet you will need to learn those things to succeed authentically for the long term in your life, and also be able to teach your children to do same.

That was why I called my kids together that Sunday morning. I wanted to begin formally sharing the magic formula for achieving personal success with them

So, I asked them: What do you call the child of a Lion?

My children answered: A Lion.

Then I asked: What do you call the child of a Cat?

"A Cat!" they chorused.

I said: What do you call the child of a Goat?

They said: A Goat!

I said: Good!

Then I asked them: Can a Cow give birth to a Goat?

They said: No.

I asked: Can a Lion give birth to a Tortoise?

They said: No.

Then I asked: Can a Cat give birth to a Dog?

Again they said: NO

By this time they were beginning to look at me as if saying "What is wrong with this man today??!"

I continued by asking: Okay, now what do you call a child of God?

They said: A child of God.

Shaking my head in the negative, I told them: NO!

I then repeated the question: What do you call a child of God?

They were looking at me (in confusion).

When I told them THE answer, I saw the looks of surprise in their faces:

…end of part 1

[The 2nd and concluding part will be published on this blog tomorrow]

Entrepreneurship, Parenting, Self-Development

Prepare Your Child to Succeed by Learning to Overcome Rejection Using Persistence & PMA (Lessons from Tayo Solagbade’s Maiden “Selling Skills Development” Project for Kids)

August 29, 2014 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

On Wednesday 27th August 2014, my 3 sons (11, 13, and 15 respectively), as part of my Personal Achievement Coaching for Kids (PACK)™ project, went on their first ever “sales calls”: Finding Buyers for their Pineapple Flavored Cakes Baked Without Oven.
[Note: (a). PMA = Positive Mental Attitude (b). Click here to download PDF preview of the kids project).

This project aims to develop their selling skills, and help them learn to deal with rejection, by learning persistence and developing mental stamina.

I believe, from over a decade as an entrepreneur, that a crucial ingredient for achieving success in life, in spite of adversity is a mental attitude that can deal with failure and rejection.

That mental attitude is rarely something most people are born with. Majority will have to develop it.

People who do work that involves or requires “selling” will often develop a mental attitude to deal effectively with rejection.

History confirms that this is true. I won’t bother to give you instances. Go read about some of the greatest achievers known even today, who achieved entrepreneurial success. You’ll see that many had stints (or even major careers) in Sales.

3 well known examples are Robert Kiyosaki, Brian Tracy, the late, great Zig Ziglar. I’m sure you can think of a few yourself!

The above as well as my experiences convince me young people will do better in adulthood, if they are deliberately made to develop their “selling skills”, in real life situations.

My kids have been making and selling my Pineapple peel based drinks and cakes: But they’ve been selling to what I call a Captive Audience i.e. their schoolmates!

I taught them the production methods, and “pushed them” to try selling them to friends, back in September 2013 (click here to see photos of their past efforts). So, it’s not like I’m blaming them

But like I told them, it’s much easier to sell to people who know you. Their friends in school readily trusted their product and bought the cakes, without being too critical.

Unfortunately, you cannot know enough people so well, to not have to sell to those you do not know. In other words, you will still need to sell to strangers, if you want to make enough money.

I knew my kids had to learn that selling outside the school was much different.

During the 2 sales visits they made, they got a good taste of what it felt like to do cold calls i.e. to try selling to total strangers.

Now they know that they need to have ready answers to questions and objections prospects would raise, which could lead to rejections.

One example:

When they returned from the first visit, I doubled over in laughter from listening to their account of the GRILLING they got from the gentleman owner of a DVD movies sales shop.

[Pssst…here’s a little secret: What they did not know was that I’d visited the chap yesterday, after taking a walk around, and introduced myself, asking if he would be willing to help me with a “Social Experiment”.

Then I explained about the project my kids are engaged in, and how I needed them to experience having to answer questions from prospective buyers NOT as trusting, and ready to “buy” (no matter how cheap) as their school mates.

He agreed, saying he felt it was a great experience I was giving the kids and that he’d recently told a friend more people needed to think of starting micro businesses, rather than look for jobs. We then exchanged phone numbers, and I returned home.

From what the kids have told me, the chap really played his role well. Read on to see what I mean…]

He asked them why they used Charcoal Stoves and a pot (instead of an oven powered by Gas or electricity).

They replied that it was because they preferred it (Which was a wrong answer…not what I told them. But the “pressure” made them forget).

He then asked if they did not think it would take less effort and time (and be more hygienic) if they used a Gas Oven.

The 15 year old, who was the “lead salesperson” and who had been answering up till that point, said he had no answer to that question.

At this point they gave him the flyers they brought with them, and he then told them it was good they had created a product concept of their own. The he explained about the business he did to them, and how he was trying to grow it.

Now, let me explain why I’ve deliberately stuck with the no-oven-charcoal-powered production of cakes and drinks model.

It goes without saying that I KNOW Gas and Electric ovens can be used to bake cakes!

Incidentally, the kids today Friday 29th August 2014, baked a new set of cakes using the gas oven in their Grandparent’s home where they are on holiday.

So, I’m not stopping them from using that method (I should mention that failed to thoroughly mix the butter and sugar, leading to out of shape cakes. But their Grandparents kindly bought some of the funny shaped cakes off them…another lesson!)

However, my vision is to address the issue of “I have no capital” as practically as possible – to the point of eliminating ANY excuses ANYONE may have, about starting a micro business.

Too many people in my part of the world – even adults, and especially young people/teenagers – will readily tell you MONEY (as little as N1,000!) is keeping them from starting something they can use to earn a living.

I have NOW told my kids the answer they need to give to the question that stumped them when they visited the video shop owner.

It’s an answer that smart thinking, profit-focused business owners will readily give to such a question!

One of the ways I learnt that answer was from watching Top Management in Guinness Nigeria Plc. They got all of us – the employees – to break brewing and bottling records by TASKING us to use (what we thought were spent) machines/plant s in the breweries.

In other words, it will often not be about how new or sophisticated your tools and equipment are.

Instead, what matters will be how effectively you are able to use whatever resources you have, to produce products that meet the desired standards!!!!

I’ve told my kids that if they can develop the discipline to profitably make and sell their cakes using low cost tools (like the Charcoal stove), they can be sure of greater productivity and profits when they use standard equipment.

It’s simple common sense.

And this approach ensures that they kids get a sound understanding of the basic principles involved in the process.

Now that I’ve explained it to my kids, I know they’ll be able to respond competently/convincingly to future buyers who ask them why they use the Charcoal Stove method.

[NB: By way of interest, after they told me how the first sales visit went, I sent them back out to do the next visit. This time it was to the shop of the woman from whom they had often purchased the flour, sugar and other materials for cake baking.
They had all GROANED loudly…but trooped out to do it. They made no sale from that outing either, but they came back with details of how they answered the questions they were asked. ]

Final Words: The kids did make one non-school sale – but it was the night before – at an informal outing!

I’d told them they could walk around the neighborhood to explore possible places where buyers could be found for their cakes. So, they’d done that and eventually decided to sit with the mallam selling provisions in the estate, who happens to be their friend (they buy biscuits, sweets, Indomie noodles and other goodies from him).

They displayed their box wrapped cakes on the mallam’s stand, and began chatting away. At a point, a lady resident in the estate made a purchase from the mallam, and he had was lacking change to give her.

She suddenly pointed at their cakes and asked how much they were. The boys promptly replied that each box of 2 was N100.

The lady picked up a box, asking the mallam to use her N100 change to pay the boys. Before she left she asked them questions about how they made the cakes etc. And she also wanted to know what the name of the company was.

Now, that last question they had no answer to – as we have yet to decide what “business name” to register for this family business.

But that question from the lady indicated that our efforts to pack the cakes attractively had created the right kind of impression!

From the above, you can see that the kids already made a sale before the went out on the formal sales visit I setup. The only thing was it was an accidental one.

However, that accidental sale also proves that one intelligent way to make sales will be to have fixed location where people can find you/your products e.g. a shop.

We will be opening one when the time is right, in Cotonou. For now, I want them to experience cold calling, and pavement pounding, so as to be able to compare and contrast, while building the character needed for lasting success: persistence!

I’m excited to be able to finally start this Personal Achievement Coaching for Kids™ project with my kids.

This is the first leg in the journey.It is a program I know will benefit any young person who is willing to learn. And I intend to use it to empower my kids to do a better job of succeeding in the real world than I did at their age.

I offer to help other kids do the same. Including YOURS, if you let me!

Plus, I offer special coaching support for parents who want to learn how to do the same for their kids. Including you, if you’re willing!

If you believe you (or your child) can benefit from my program, fill and submit this form, for details of how to get started.

Career Development, Entrepreneurship, Farm Biz, General, My DN Travel News, My Ideas for Making Nigeria Better, Parenting, Public Speaking, Self-Development, Short Stories, Writing/Blogging

Protect Your Debit Card from Online Fraudsters…or This Could Happen to You (True Story) [Lost & Re-Published Post]

August 27, 2014 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

This article was first published on this blog 3 months ago, on Friday 23rd May 2014 (see browser history screenshot below). Today, when I tried linking to it, to post a comment on Facebook, I got a “Page Not Found” error on my blog. A MySQL database check soon revealed it was GONE: “Yepa!”!

But I suspect no foul play. It’s quite likely it “got lost” during the back and forth cross-database updates from my old to new hosts following the loss of Spontaneousdevelopment.com (my former, 9 year old domain name).

Whatever the case, here’s the FULL article republished.

But just before you read it, here’s my comment on recent newspaper reports on this theme, which made me want to link THIS article from Facebook in the first place:

Punch Newspaper Headline (27th Aug. 2014): Fraudsters shop abroad with cloned Nigerian ATM cards

This is not the first such headline I have seen. When I saw one for the first time few days after arriving Lagos, from Cotonou (2 weeks ago), I found report headlines like the above hard to comprehend.

But now it’s all starting to make sense.

For fraudsters to successfully clone ATM cards, they will need insider help. And my recent personal experience equips me to piece together key parts of the puzzle…

This is why despite picking up my new ATM/debit card on arriving Nigeria about 2 weeks ago, I’ve been VERY reluctant to put it to use for my international web hosting and other payments online.

You see, just few months ago, the previous (now expired) card from the same bank, which I’d actively used without issues for 3+ years mysteriously got hacked and an attempt was made to use it for shopping by one “Rabbi” in “New York”.

Luckily, the card was not directly linked to an account that had enough funds to cover the transaction. That was a due diligence precaution I’d proactively taken earlier in the year.

But these guys were persistent (and wretched!) as they kept reducing the amount charged to the card, till they took out the less than $13 USD balance left over in the linked account from the last domain name registration and web hosting payments I’d funded it for.

I never understood how my card got compromised, and my bank also had no answer. So I waited for my card to expire – and it did on 31st July 2014. Since then, I’ve been too wary to start using the new one!

Then I came back here (Lagos) and began reading newspaper reports claiming some bank staff have been implicated in using customer cards online…and I told myself: EUREKA!

See article I wrote to warn/alert others to the potential danger:

===Now go on and read below===

Protect Your Debit Card from Online Fraudsters…or This Could Happen to You (True Story)

If you use a debit/credit cards, you may want to read about this experience I had within the last 24 hours. Why? Because doing so could just help you avoid leaving yourself open to having someone drain out your bank account!

I spent yesterday morning corresponding via phone and email with my bank in Nigeria…

It had to do with 3 International Transactions on my debit mastercard by fraudsters.

They began by applying a charge of $218 fee to my GTB MasterCard.

Since I use a Blackberry, I saw the alert announcing “Transaction Declined due to Insufficient funding” as soon as it came in.

Luckily for me, the account linked to the card (which is the one I also use to make payment for hosting renewal etc) is one that I keep almost at NIL balance.

I chose to do this based on past experience when I inadvertently let my Skype subscription autorenew when I did not need it.

Otherwise, that attempt would have gone through – and these crooks would have gotten away with it.

A bank account officer called me yesterday evening to discuss what steps I could take, after I emailed a complaint to them,

We agreed that I would continue what I’d doing, by keeping funds NIL until I need to use it, then once loaded I make payment to return it to NIL status.

That way, the fraudster would stand no chance of getting funds out if they try again.

As explained above the first attempt (for $218 USD) did not got through.

What I did not know was that my last transaction had resulted in about N1,500 being left as balance!

After discussing with the account officer who called me from Nigeria yesterday, the crafty guys charged $9.51 and then $5 USD overnight (between 2 a.m and 5a.m) successfully!

You see, I did not know my last online payment had left a balance that much, otherwise I woudl have spent it.

Normally I try hard to use up any balance to the barest minimum by loading funds to a reseller account I run for my web hosting service. But my exchange rate calculation for $50 USD equivalent was off, and I ended up leaving some funds behind, that the guys took out.

They must have kept lowering the applied charge all night or soemthing, until it went through.

Each alert I got, I sent an email to the bank, requesting that they do a reversal.

My account manager replied my email this morning saying I should authorize the bank to block the card.

The problem is that I have 2 web hosting clients I need to do renewals for in July.

A new debit card may not be ready for me to use before then.

So after thinking about it, I’ve decided I’ll pursue one of 2 options:

a. Continue with my strategy of keeping my balance close to NIL, until I need to make payment, then fund it and use up at once.

b. From discussions I had with a banker friend, I can purchase a virtual Mastercard I can make use of on a one-off basis.

The second option appeals to me more.

Interestingly, I used to do that about 8 years ago. And it was always a much safer way to spend online. I guess I should thank the fraudsters for pushing me to THINK of a better way!

In case you wonder, I still have no idea how they got my card details.

I’ve always tried to be very careful these past 4 years of using it.

I’m not sure if this was done by Nigerian fraudsters or not. But the location on the transaction notices has been in the USA.

Lesson you can take away: Beware of linking your debit card to an account that has a FAT balance!

It would be better to be safe than sorry. I never imagined this could happen to me, and it has. Plus, I found out nothing could really be done short of disabling my card. In other words, even your Nigerian bank cannot help you.

Compare the case of my brother in law who lives in the UK. He simply told his credit card company to back charge or reverse the charge when it recently happened to him.

But that did not mean he would not be able to use his card anymore. Or that he would have to pay to get a new one!

Which is what my bank in Nigeria has told me. Not very helpful is it…!

So, if you’re in Nigeria, or using a Nigerian bank’s card for online payments, it would be safter to AVOID this kind of problem altogether, by not letting it happen in the first place.

Onee again the message is: Beware of linking your debit card to an account that has a FAT balance!

Please pass this on!

Career Development, Entrepreneurship, Farm Biz, General, My DN Travel News, My Ideas for Making Nigeria Better, Parenting, Public Speaking, Self-Development, Short Stories, Writing/Blogging

Why I Convert Video/Audio Interviews & “Informal Narratives” by Other Experts Into Downloadable PDF/Slideshow Versions for EVERYONE – Tayo K. Solagbade

August 27, 2014 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

This new personal philosophy paper offers download access to four (4) useful PDF documents I recently created using videos, audios or informal “writing” originated by competent experts I reckon with. They are Efe Ohwofasa (UK), Patrick Meninga (USA), Richie Parker (USA) and Charles Ayo Dada (Nigeria).

The first 3 can be downloaded from www.tayosolagbade.com.

A. Breakthrough to Purpose – Andy Brine Interviews Efe Ohwofasa – Video

B. Ten (10) Valuable Lessons I Learnt About Blogging for Passive Income, from Yaro Starak’s 60 Minute Podcast Interview with Patrick Meninga

C. NEVER Let Anyone Tell You What YOU Cannot Do! (Transcript Slideshow Version of ESPN’s July 21 “SportsCenter” Profile video about Richie Parker – the engineer born without arms, who designs championship winning NASCAR race car parts/components)

D. HOW I MADE MY FIRST MILLION AS A WRITER SELLING BOOKS…(A True Story About Potentially Traumatizing Sales & Marketing Dilemmas Book Authors Face in Nigeria) – narrated in a post by award winning writer – Charles Ayo Dadaon his Facebook wall on 18th August 2014.

Here’s a download link I setup on a 3rd party file sharing service for Charles’ great story: http://www.tinyurl.com/Charles1stMillionOK.

If the link fails, you can contact Charles via Facebook (www.facebook.com/charles.a.dada) for a copy.

Alternatively, you can email tayo at tksola dot com and I’ll email it to you as a PDF attachment.

“But why do I do it?” – many people are likely to wonder…

Why do I go out of my way to create these kinds of elaborate resources without being asked, and without seeking ANY kind of remuneration?

Is it to get publicity, or to get those I feature to notice me and give me jobs? What is my real motive?

My main reason is that I want to help people discover proven techniques and strategies they can use to IMPROVE themselves in whatever area of endeavour they are engaged.

That’s why I call myself a Self-Development/Performance Enhancement Specialist & Multipreneur.

I have a passion that has endured for over 20 years (right from my days as a student in the University, through my time as a high flying employee in Guinness Nigeria).

My passsion is to help serious minded and results focused individuals develop and implement practical strategies to do what they do better.

Due to my versatility, and quick learning ability, I have over the years proven myself to be a valuable addition to the arsenal of any group or organisation.

So many people find me to be a useful resource because my active search for practical information about what works enables me add value to them.

Anywhere I go, whatever I see or read, my natural instinct is always to find ways to share it with others to help them improve their performance.

I’m the kind of person who cannot help HELPING others. I am naturally driven to be a catalyst. No matter who I interact with, I create the impression of increase.

People generally find that they leave me better off than when they meet me.

Most of my clients often get much more measurable value from interacting with me, than they pay for.

I work this way not because I want to be Pope, or because I’m a priest. I do so because I LOVE to see people make the best use of their God-given abilities to achieve their fullest potential.

NO MATTER what challenges they have to confront and overcome in life. And that is why I pick on videos and presentations of authentic achievers, whose messages convince me they are who they say they are.

Due to the challenges of poor connectivity in my part of the world, I realise many who desire to benefit from the wonderful video and audio presentations available online may not get ready access to them – except via text transcripts like those I create.

Click here to continue reading this PDF personal philosophy paper…

Entrepreneurship, General, My DN Travel News, Parenting, Self-Development

Selling Skills Development in Tayo Solagbade’s Personal Achievement Coaching for Kids (PACK)™ Project [Hint: Finding Buyers for Cakes Made Without Oven]

August 26, 2014 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

Tomorrow – Wednesday 27th August 2014 will be a BIG day for my 3 boys (9, 13, and 15 respectively). As part of my Personal Achievement Coaching for Kids (PACK)™ project, during their holidays, they now embark on “sales calls” to develop their selling skills, and learn to deal with rejection.

My kids have been making and selling these Pineapple peel based drinks and cakes since I taught them the production methods, and “pushed them” to try selling them to friends, in September 2013.

It soon occurred to me that this is a good formula for a micro business that anyone can start with very little money: Waste fruit peels as a zero cost key ingredient for easily reproducible low cost drinks and cake making! They sell these products to school mates, during break time.

Below are JPEG image versions of “flyers” they will take – in a presentation folder – with them.

In it, those they approach are requested to engage them by asking questions about the product and making them defend it, justify their price etc.

This is so they can LEARN that getting money takes diligence, perseverance, integrity and commitment.

Flyer for the Selling Skills Development Project

I am sharing this in the hope that others may feel encouraged to organize a similar project to EMPOWER THEIR OWN kids. – Tayo K. Solagbade, Lagos-Nigeria | 26^th August 2014.

“There’s a world outside school that your child must be ready for, if she is to succeed. Because you arrived in it, before her, YOU are an expert in it, compared to her. If you truly love your child therefore, you can – and should – share YOUR EXPERTISE about succeeding in the world, to help her learn how to EXCEL in it. This book uses narratives of true life childhood experiences of a brilliant but wayward child, who later reformed himself, as a basis for offering practical tips and insights you can use. Don’t. I repeat: DO NOT…leave that role for her teachers to play, because they will seldom be able to do enough, compared to YOU!” – Tayo K. Solagbade | Best Practice Parenting Advocate™ & Location Independent Performance Improvement – Author of “KUKURU DANGER™ – 5 True Stories About the Adventures – & Misadventures! – of a School Age Child Trying to Find Purpose in Life”. Download a FREE 20 page PDF preview of the book fromwww.tayosolagbade.com/buy-kukuru.htm

Career Development, Entrepreneurship, General, My DN Travel News, Parenting, Self-Development

To Succeed, Study and Persist in Creatively Emulating Authentic Achievers!

August 22, 2014 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

"There are no quick wins in business. It takes years to become an overnight success." – Richard Branson.

Since 2002, when I began offering unconventional Excel-VB (& other solutions) in Nigeria’s difficult socio-economic enviroment, I’ve grown my success by creatively applying ideas advocated by Richard Branson, and other authentic achievers.

Especially useful has been his "David vs Goliath" philosophy!

It gave me the confidence I needed to strike out on my own, with my unique brand of smartly priced, yet high profile products and services.

And it has repeatedly enabled me "out market" and "out perform" bigger rivals to win profitable clients/buyers…without needing to spend big. In fact at zero cost sometimes!

I must stress however, that the key to profiting by learning from those who have succeeded (like Branson), is to be willing to CREATIVELY adapt what you learn to suit what will often be your UNIQUE needs.

That is what I have done, and continue to successfully do – in both my personal and work lives. And I have ALREADY begun coaching my kids to emulate me.

"Focus on long-term progress, rather than rapid growth, and you’re more likely to go the distance." – Richard Branson

Learn more on the above theme from THE master himself – Sir Richard Branson in the article linked below titled "Business is an Endurance Race"

http://www.virgin.com/richard-branson/business-is-an-endurance-race

Below is an image flyer that announces the impending launch of a new range of information products I’ll be putting into the market based on the above.

Photo taken: Wednesday 23rd July 2014 outside a little cafe I periodically work from in Benin Republic’s Cotonou.

I took the above photo just after completing web marketing projects for 2 new clients in Cotonou: a 22 year old private university & a start-up multidisciplinary consulting firm.

Then I checked myself into a hotel to finish off editing and proof reading my new book (Kukuru Danger™: get FREE 20 page PDF preview from here).

2 weeks later, on Thursday 7th August 2014, I arrived Lagos, in Nigeria, to – among other things (like spending time with my family) – fulfil orders placed by 2 Farm CEOs based in Portharcourt, for my Excel-VB driven Ration Formulator.

(Hint: They’d NOT wanted email download links sent to them, and instead paid for courier delivery of the DVD version. I help such buyers save over N6,000 in courier fees by crossing over to dispatch packages from Fedex or DHL offices in Lagos).

Since getting here in Lagos, I’ve continued working on a new Web Marketing System I’m building for an Ota-Ogun State based NGO client.

Soon, I’ll return to Cotonou…

It’s so EXCITING to be able to earn income regardless of my location!

I AM living my dream.

And I NOW offer to help YOU (& also YOUR kids) do the same!

This article, and the image flyer above are precursors to the launch of my Personal Achievement Coaching (PAC)™ Program’s “Learning Products” – STAY TUNED!

If you’d like to learn more about the program or wish to invite me to deliver it to your Parents Teachers Association, members of your School’s Administration Team, for students or other groups, click here to send me a message.

Acquire Self-Development skills. Create The Future You Want™ – www.tayosolagbade.com

My DN Travel News, My Ideas for Making Nigeria Better, Parenting, Self-Development

To Succeed, START Living in the Real World – TODAY! (Hint: And Teach Your Child to Do the Same!)

August 15, 2014 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

As I said in the research paper I presented at the Center for Management Development, a dangerous craze to acquire paper qualifications in order to secure jobs or higher positions has overtaken many in today’s Nigeria.

They have lost sight of so many things they can learn through diligent application of self-development. By “things” I refer to knowledge and skills, which can enable them achieve superlative performances on their jobs (and in their lives).

We need to go back to first principles!

Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie etc have started the revolution of the self-help and self-development culture. We need our managers (in fact everyone!) in Nigeria to join in like those in the USA have already done.

In today’s world, it’s no longer just a matter of what you “have”, but what you CAN DO that will determine how far you can go!”

You can buy countless certificates to get others to "respect" you (or at least say that they do) and give you recommendations for promotion or employment. However, one thing that you will not be able to buy, is the knowledge and skills that will ultimately be required to deliver satisfactory levels of performance on that job after you may have arrived there.

If you are lucky to be in a place where mediocrity reigns, this might not pose a major problem – since no one would notice any difference! Otherwise, it would only be a matter of time before someone starts asking questions about how you got the job in the first place – when she notices how inept you are on issues relating to doing it to the required standards!

I challenge you to start living in the real world today – by developing REAL WORLD relevant competencies

Stop focusing on acquiring paper qualifications, and begin to invest time/effort in developing (in addition to formal qualifications) REAL LIFE knowledge and skills.

One area where this is of crucial importance is your attitude to money – especially spending of money! To succeed in ANY area of endeavour, you will need to manage your spending more consciously for instance.

Many in paid employment – if asked – would be unable to account for money they spent 24 hours earlier.

This is because they often spend with the "assurance" of another inflow of salary to replace whatever they spend.

Hence, they never bother to be "thoughtful" about money issues.

I was like that too. I now know better and act differently. Years of severe lack of money, which caused me major pain, humuliation and heart break REALLY taught me a hard lesson.

Today, I do NOT fail to treat money with respect, and I always challenge my kids to do the same.

To learn my lesson, one of the things I did was to buy a little book titled "The Millionaire next door" from Amazon.com (in addition to Kiyosaki’s books).

I discovered from reading it that many wealthy people keep detailed WRITTEN records of their daily expenses. They also regularly review those records, and plan subsequent spending more prudently based on what they learn.

That is one of the secrets of their wealth accumulation!

I have since begun doing tracking my own expenses DAILY, and I must tell you that my money management ability has improved dramatically as a result.

You will find it useful to do the same, and to also teach your kids to emulate you.

Do yourself a favour today. STOP thinking the future will take care of itself. STOP assuming things will always be as good as they currently are.

DON’T allow yourself to be taken by surprise when the inevitable down times come.

PREPARE yourself now.

START living in the real world – TODAY!

Career Development, Entrepreneurship, Farm Biz, General, My DN Travel News, My Ideas for Making Nigeria Better, Parenting, Public Speaking, Self-Development, Writing/Blogging

STOP Procrastinating And START Achieving The Goals You Dream About!

August 13, 2014 Tayo Solagbade Leave a comment

Every January, many people announce new year resolutions, but by December achieve little or nothing. I’ve had some intriguing characters PAY me to teach them web design, or Excel-VB, ONLY to leave wondering why I’m chasing them to attend agreed sessions: Funny world indeed! This article explains why you must make procrastination your enemy, and how to defeat it.

Why People Procrastinate (The Problem Usually Starts From Teaching Methods Used In Schools)

Back in school, many of us learned sciences. We drew pictures of the butterfly’s life cycle as it occurs during metamorphosis. But how many actually got to see the entire cycle take place IN REAL LIFE?

I’m not sure about you, but I never got to see a real-life butterfly’s metamorphosis(i.e. from the eggs to the larva – or caterpillar – to the pupa, and then into the adult butterfly) take place, till I left school!

And when I did learn it, it was by accident. Briefly, I took a caterpillar into my bedroom one day, and placed it on a leafy branch(broken off the adult orange tree from which I picked the caterpillar), which was set in a bottle of water.

Over time, the caterpillar ate the leaves, and I replaced the branch until one day it disappeared!

Upon noticing this, I searched all over the table on which the bottle was placed thinking it had fallen off. Until I discovered, under the table top, in a corner joining the table top to the frame, the butterfly pupa covered in its cotton like cocoon!

I promptly put a mosquito net around the table, so that when the adult butterfly hatched/emerged from the pupa, it did not fly off before I was able to see it.

My apologies to the reader if you did not do much biology or Integrated Science in school, where the reproductive cycles of some lower animals might have been covered.

The point I made in the first paragraph is that sometimes, in our conventional schools, learners are forced to memorize photos, diagrams and sketches of the animals or organisms they are taught about in class – without being shown real life examples.

Experience-Based Learning Makes Cramming Unnecessary

Is it not funny that this learning should have happened for me the other way round, considering that parents send their kids to school to acquire knowledge that they can then come to apply in the real world?

I honestly believe that is why Robert Kiyosaki’s ideas for educational reform are so worthy of consideration by any serious parents or educational practitioners.

Question is how many of us will take action to use those ideas to make a difference in the lives of the kids we raise, teach or coach?

The children in many conventional schools are seldom taken outdoors into the real word (nor are they encouraged or challenged to go out of their way after class) to see the real thing.

Instead they are made to read about the activity, and learn to say it as they read it, instead of describing it as they felt while they DOING it. Now, the irony of this poor teaching method is that when one DOES make effort to get a “real” life experience, recalling all the important aspects of that particular process becomes considerably easier. Thus the need for “cramming” is more or less removed.

I sometimes ask people this question: “If you were told to describe the process of making a cup of coffee, would you need to look up the steps from a book to do it?”

The answer I always get every time is “No”. The reason: “You’ve done it many times before”.

And there lies my point. Once we get into the habit of gaining real-life experiences relevant to any new area of knowledge we wish to explore, we will find that our resultant understanding would be comprehensive – and we would no longer need to do so much “cramming”!

Those Who Procrastinate Become Professional Students

Back to goals achievement. Some people attend seminars or workshops, and read books on starting up their businesses but never really start anything worthwhile. Such people in effect become professional students.

They keep attending seminars, reading books, “start” to make the plans, then stop. They never really begin.

Then there are those who do start, but learn from a book/seminar that they need to make some changes in order for their business to move to the next level. However, instead of doing it, they keep procrastinating – and end up never achieving their full potential.

Examples of people who are caught in this kind of “trap’ surround us.

It is the same thing for people in paid employment who desire career advancement, but fail to take the needed actions to improve themselves. Ditto for the one who wants to lose weight but cannot find the will power to deny THAT urge to eat between meals or “miss” exercising regularly etc.

For those able to take action towards achieving the desired end, they ultimately “grow up” to reach higher levels. And go on to achieve authentic success. That’s why some entrepreneurs always seem to be growing in their ability to take their businesses to a higher level, while some others always appear stagnant.

“There is a great deal of difference between having knowledge and applying it. The teacher asked. “What is Agriculture?” The pupil replied, “Agriculture is just like farming, but farming is doing it.” – W.F. Weiherman

You Must Continue Learning, IF You Want To Keep MOVING FORWARD!

In a separate article, I wrote about people who record a measure of achievement, and promptly assume they have arrived at the pinnacle of success in their chosen area of endeavour.

Not only is this a faulty notion to have, but it is also potentially damaging, because it leads directly to mediocrity – a state of mind whereby ability and performance that can STILL be significantly improved upon, is continually celebrated as if nothing else is left to be done.

Any one who wishes to achieve goals that are worth celebrating, and that others will acknowledge as worthwhile, needs to rid him/herself of mediocre thinking. The mediocre is the one who does a little, and thinks there is nothing left to be done.

Those who are serious students of success know that success has been correctly described as a journey – NOT a destination.

Also, a person who desires success needs to perpetually HUNGER for knowledge that will better equip him/her to achieve that success.

In other words, s/he cannot be averse to LEARNING new things.

“Once at a public gathering, Einstein found himself sitting next to a teenager who failed to recognize the world-renowned theorist at his side. Delightedly Einstein engaged the boy in conversation, and after a while, the boy naively asked: “What do you do for a living?” With typical modesty, Einstein replied, “I study physics.” “What, at your age!” the boy responded incredulously, “I finished that two years ago!” – Edward Hoffman, Editor, The Book of Fathers’ Wisdom Birch Lane Press

Some people – like the boy in the above quote – learn a little bit about something, and immediately assume there’s nothing left to learn. In our society, we have people who finish from university and conclude that they’ve done all the studying they need to do.

One amusing thing they do to show this is to throw away their university notes!

I have never regretted keeping my university notes for instance, because most of the stuff I wrote in the management research paper (Statistical Process Control and Target Setting) that got me to the National Finals of the Nigerian Institute of Management’s Young Managers’ Competition in 1997, (5 full years after I left the university) came from studying some of the concepts in those books.

Summary: If you want to achieve the goals you set for yourself at work or in life, procrastination must become your number ONE enemy.

You need to decide to stick with the target dates you set for achievement of each objective.

Use a checklist if necessary (e.g like my Planned Activity Tracking Sheet), and tick off each item as you achieve it. You will get a good feeling just from seeing a growing number of ticks on it! That feeling, over time, will encourage you to do more.

And before you know it, you will have a string of successes behind you, that can be a source of inspiration to others around you, who procrastinate, to break the habit once and for all