“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” – Calvin Coolidge
Today I and the kids of the Tayo Solagbade clan will be attending (and participating in) yet another event. This one we’ve actually been talking about and even “preparing towards” for weeks!
Yesterday, the second “littlest” among us spent most of the day “practicing” in readiness for a possible opportunity to showcase her skills, that we anticipate may present itself where we’re going.
I felt so proud seeing her take control of proceedings assertively, from consulting their Facebook page for details of steps to follow, to executing the actual steps required to complete the task.
There were times when things did not go as planned or the way she wanted. And she got readily upset about it.
Those moments presented me valuable best practice parenting opportunities for me to explain that life will sometimes not give us what we want i.e. that LIFE WILL OFTEN NOT BE FAIR TO US!
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Tayo Solagbade’s
Performance Improvement IDEAS
(PI Squared) NewsletterMonday 1st May 2017
NB: This PI Squared newsletter will be published weekly, on Mondays, in place of the Speaking/Web Marketing IDEAS newsletter, starting from today – 15th February 2016. I’m reinventing my Monday newsletter content and theme, to accommodate my vision of serving the growing audience of serious minded individuals and organizations reaching out to me, with information, education. news and research findings designed to help them do what they do better.************
PII 064: Life Will Not Always be Fair – The Secret to Having Your Way Anyway [Hint: Is Your Job Keeping You from Being a Better Parent?]
“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” – Calvin Coolidge
Today is a special day for me and the rest of the Tayo Solagbade clan. We’ve been talking about the event we’ll be attending today, for weeks. Regular readers of this blog know I’m an advocate of REAL LIFE experience based learning to better prepare kids to succeed in society.
Yesterday, the second “littlest” among us (see her in the ATM queue in photo below) spent most of the day “practicing” in readiness for a possible opportunity to showcase her skills that we anticipate may be given to her where we’re going.
I felt so proud seeing her take control of proceedings assertively, from consulting their Facebook page for details of steps to follow, to executing the actual steps required to complete the talk.
There were times when things did not go as planned or the way she wanted. And she got readily upset about it.
Those moments presented me valuable best practice parenting opportunities to explain that life will sometimes not give us what we want i.e. that LIFE WILL OFTEN NOT BE FAIR TO US!
At least not immediately. Sometimes it will test our resolve and conviction. Our academic brilliance or natural genius will not matter.
Only our capacity for self-belief, blind faith, determination and persistence will matter.
They are the ultimate determinants of authentic success achievement.
Like the little child she was, she found this “unfair” treatment (in which she did not get to have her way) hard to swallow. But I made it clear there was no escaping it.
The above is a message I’ve also passed to her older siblings in many coaching conversations over the years – and especially since last year (2016).
We’re all getting up right now, so we can get early breakfast ready and hit the road to beat the traffic.
I will be sharing news from this outing when we return.
Like I always do with any aspects of activities I engage in that I believe can help others get potentially useful ideas they can put to productive use in their lives, in this area of best practice parenting and others covered in my work as a Performance Improvement Specialist.
For now, I refer you to the article linked further down, in which I shared experience based insights, from over 2 decades of achieving my goals in spite of adversity.
These ideas I seek to pass FIRST to my kids, and to any others willing to learn.
If you want to be a person who succeeds no matter what and no matter how long, you need to get used to the fact that people will often be telling you that you are trying to do the impossible, when you choose to pursue your genius.
Learn to think like I do, and like I advocate here, and you will NEVER be limited by whatever they think or say.
It’s NOT easy, and does not happen quickly.
But if you keep at it, you will succeed. Everything I say here is based on my verifiable accomplishments in spite of nay sayers.
E.g. They told me I could not make any decent money selling my custom automated spreadsheet workbooks for YEARS as I struggled to create a market for my Excel-VB Solutions Development service in Nigeria.
Today, I enjoy the undeniable international reputation as a trusted provider of custom Excel-VB software (and related solutions) to buyers within and outside Africa. One of my most popular products – the Excel-VB Poultry Farm Manager, sells for what some people earn as monthly salary in Nigeria.
This is why I SPEND SO MUCH TIME with them daily exposing them to mental stamina BUILDING experiences.
I want my kids to have the kind of mental attitude I have – because I know it is the major factor responsible for my demonstrated ability to DEFEAT adversity and ADVANCE towards my goals regardless of what goes wrong at any point in my life.
Mental Stamina is the best gift you can give your child. And if you lack it, I urge you to invest the time and effort to DEVELOP it!
On a final note, I must say this:
Becoming a Location Independent Multipreneur was not easy for me to ACHIEVE, but today it gives me the freedom to give my kids the kind of intensive best practice parenting I know they need.
[Read: No. 119: How to Achieve Success in Any Field (True Story)]
The choices I made to get here were tough, but I LOVED my kids too much to NOT be prepared to take them.
Those who don’t get it still persist in 10a.m to 10p.m jobs and think they’re “parenting” their kids by “paying” for stuff they should be DOING for their kids themselves. Sad.
If you really LOVE your kids, you need to find a way to WORK for a living, so as to better give them the parenting preparation they need!
Happy Workers’ Day!
.
Excel-VB Driven Ration Formulator
1. Click here to learn more about this app – watch demo videos etc
2. Click here to watch a 4 part video in which I demonstrate how to use this app to formulate rations using real life data sent to me by an Algerian PhD student.
Click here to contact me about purchasing this product.
EXCEL-VB DRIVEN POULTRY LAYER FARM MANAGER SOFTWARE
Click here to download a detailed PDF user guide and watch 15 screen shot user guide tutorials of the Monthly Poultry Farm Manager that I now offer Farm CEOs.
Click here to contact me about purchasing this product.
SDN Blog™
New posts from last week*
Monday:
[Wednesday]:
[Thursday]:
Long Term Benefits of Empowerment Will Often Not be Immediately Obvious [Tips for Getting Your Kids to Make Profitable Use of Smartphone Technology]
[Friday]:
N/A
[Saturday]:
N/A
[Sunday]:
The FARM CEO (Issue 81): 2-in-1 Offer to Support Your Farm Business [FREE Customization of your Excel-VB Poultry Farm Manager & One year Basic Web Marketing Support]
Tayo K. Solagbade*
Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist
*Best Practice Farm Business Support Specialist & Founder of the MS Excel Heaven Visual Basic Automation Club and Competition
Mobile: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic)
Tayo K. Solagbade is a Location Independent Performance Improvement
Specialist and Multipreneur (i.e. a highly versatile/multi-skilled entrepreneur), with a bias for delivering Best Practice solutions to Farm Businesses and others.
Since 2002, he has earned multiple streams of income providing individuals and organizations with personal development training and coaching, custom MS Excel-VB solutions, web marketing systems/web hosting, freelance writing services, and best practice extension support services (for farm business owners).
Tayo is the author of the Self-Development (SD) Bible™ and the popular Livestock Feed Formulation Handbook. He is also the developer of its accompanying Excel-VB driven Ration Formulator™ and the Poultry Farm Manager™ software.
He has delivered talks/papers to audiences in various groups and organizations, including the Centre for Management Development, University of Lagos, Christ Baptist Church, Volunteer Corps, Tantalisers Fast Foods and others.
In May 2012 he was the Guest Speaker at the Centre for Entrepreneurship Development’s Annual Semester Entrepreneurial Lecture at Yaba College of Technology in Lagos.
On 1st April 2013, Tayo (who reads, write and speaks the French language) relocated to Cotonou, Benin Republic to begin slowly traveling across the West African region.
His key purpose is to deliver talks, seminars and workshops on his key areas of focus and interest to interested audiences (Email tayo at tksola dot com for details).
In a previous life, before leaving to become self-employed, Tayo served for seven years (October 1994 to December 2001) as a high performing manager in Guinness Nigeria. He rose from Shift Brewer to Training & Technical Development Manager, and later acted in senior roles as Production Manager and Technical Manager.
In addition to constantly challenging the status quo and influencing positive work changes, he built a reputation for using self-taught spreadsheet programming skills (starting with Lotus 1-2-3, and later moving to Excel Visual Basic) – in his spare time – to develop Automated Spreadsheet Applications to computerize manual report generation processes in the departments he worked. Over four(4) of his applications were adopted for brewery level reporting.
Tayo holds a B.Sc degree in Agricultural Extension Services from the University of Ibadan, Nigeria, having graduated top of his class – with Second Class Upper Division honors – in 1992. He is an Associate Member of the UK Institute & Guild of Brewing, a 1997 National Finalist of the Nigerian Institute of Management’s(NIM) Young Managers’ competition, a Certified Psychometric Test Administrator for Psytech UK, innovator of Spontaneous Coaching for Self-Development™ (SCfS-D™), and Founder of the Self-Development Academy (SDAc).
When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Daily Self-Development Nuggets blog – on which he also publishes The Farm CEO Weekly Newspaper (sent via email to paid subscribers) and his Weekly Performance Improvement IDEAS newsletter.
You can connect with him on Twitter @tksola.com and Facebook.
Visit Tayo Solagbade Dot Com, to download over over 10 performance improvement resources to boost your personal and work related productivity.
====
[IMPORTANT NOTE:====On 4th May 2014, Tayo’s 9 year old domain (Spontaneousdevelopment dot com), which hosted his website, was taken over by Aplus.net.
Within a few days however, Tayo used his advanced self-taught web development skills to build a SUPERIOR “reincarnation” of it the website http://www.tayosolagbade.com.
But updates are still ongoing to URLs bearing the old domain name in most of the over 1,000 web pages, and blog posts he’s published.
If you experience any difficulties finding a page or document, email Tayo at tksola dot com.
Click “Tayo, What Happened to SpontaneousDevelopmentDotCom ?” to read a detailed narrative about how the above event occurred :-))
Here’s an article Tayo wrote, to inspire others to defy adversity, and bounce back to even greater reckoning at what they do EVERY time:
Succeed by Emerging from Adversity Like a Phoenix
(TayoSolagbade.com launches extra Hosting plan with FREE Web Marketing!)
And he wrote the one below, to explain why losing a domain name, no matter how old, NO LONGER determines your online success or otherwise:
A Proven Strategy to Find Profitable Buyers Regardless of Your Domain Name
==================
Home |About | Contact | SD Nuggets™ | Speaking/Web Marketing IDEAS | Web Marketing Systems | Freelance Writing | MS Excel® Heaven™ | Cost-Saving Farm Biz Ideas
Tayo Solagbade’s
Performance Improvement IDEAS
(PI Squared) NewsletterMonday 1st May 2017
NB: This PI Squared newsletter will be published weekly, on Mondays, in place of the Speaking/Web Marketing IDEAS newsletter, starting from today – 15th February 2016. I’m reinventing my Monday newsletter content and theme, to accommodate my vision of serving the growing audience of serious minded individuals and organizations reaching out to me, with information, education. news and research findings designed to help them do what they do better.************
PII 064: Life Will Not Always be Fair – The Secret to Having Your Way Anyway [Hint: Is Your Job Keeping You from Being a Better Parent?]
“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” – Calvin Coolidge
Today is a special day for me and the rest of the Tayo Solagbade clan. We’ve been talking about the event we’ll be attending today, for weeks. Regular readers of this blog know I’m an advocate of REAL LIFE experience based learning to better prepare kids to succeed in society.
Yesterday, the second “littlest” among us (see her in the ATM queue in photo below) spent most of the day “practicing” in readiness for a possible opportunity to showcase her skills that we anticipate may be given to her where we’re going.
I felt so proud seeing her take control of proceedings assertively, from consulting their Facebook page for details of steps to follow, to executing the actual steps required to complete the talk.
There were times when things did not go as planned or the way she wanted. And she got readily upset about it.
Those moments presented me valuable best practice parenting opportunities for me to explain that life will sometimes not give us what we want i.e. that LIFE WILL OFTEN NOT BE FAIR TO US!
At least not immediately. Sometimes it will test our resolve and conviction. Our academic brilliance or natural genius will not matter.
Only our capacity for self-belief, blind faith, determination and persistence will matter.
They are the ultimate determinants of authentic success achievement.
Like the little child she was, she found this “unfair” treatment (in which she did not get to have her way) hard to swallow. But I made it clear there was no escaping it.
The above is a message I’ve also passed to her older siblings in many coaching conversations over the years – and especially since last year (2016).
We’re all getting up right now, so we can get early breakfast ready and hit the road to beat the traffic.
I will be sharing news from this outing when we return.
Like I always do with any aspects of activities I engage in that I believe can help others get potentially useful ideas they can put to productive use in their lives, in this area of best practice parenting and others covered in my work as a Performance Improvement Specialist.
For now, I refer you to the article linked further down, in which I shared experience based insights, from over 2 decades of achieving my goals in spite of adversity.
This ideas/ability I seek to pass FIRST to my kids, and to any others willing to learn.
If you want to be a person who succeeds no matter what and no matter how long, you need to get used to the fact that people will often be telling you that you are trying to do the impossible, when you choose to pursue your genius.
Learn to think like I do, and like I advocate here, and you will NEVER be limited by whatever they think or say. It’s NOT easy, and does not happen quickly.
But if you keep at it, you will succeed. Everything I say here is based on my verifiable accomplishments in spite of nay sayers.
E.g. They told me I could not make any decent money selling my custom automated spreadsheet workbooks for YEARS as I struggled to create a market for my Excel-VB Solutions Development service in Nigeria.
Today, I enjoy the undeniable international reputation as a trusted provider of custom Excel-VB software to buyers within and outside Africa. One of my most popular products – the Excel-VB Ration Formulator, sells for what some people earn as monthly salary.
This is why I SPEND SO MUCH TIME with them daily exposing them to mental stamina BUILDING experiences.
I want my kids to have the kind of mental attitude I have – because I know it is the major factor responsible for my demonstrated ability to DEFEAT adversity and ADVANCE towards my goals regardless of what goes wrong at any point in my life.
Mental Stamina is the best gift you can give your child. And if you lack it, I urge you to invest the time and effort to DEVELOP it!
On a final note, I must say this:
Being a Location Independent Multipreneur was not easy to ACHIEVE, but today it gives me the freedom to give my kids the kind of intensive best practice parenting I know they need.
[Read: No. 119: How to Achieve Success in Any Field (True Story)]
The choices I made to get here were tough, but I LOVED my kids too much to NOT be prepared to take them.
Those who don’t get it still persist in 10a.m to 10p.m jobs and think they’re “parenting” their kids by “paying” for stuff they should be DOING for their kids themselves. Sad.
If you really LOVE your kids, you need to find a way to WORK for a living, so as to better give them the parenting preparation they need!
Happy Workers’ Day!
.
Excel-VB Driven Ration Formulator
1. Click here to learn more about this app – watch demo videos etc
2. Click here to watch a 4 part video in which I demonstrate how to use this app to formulate rations using real life data sent to me by an Algerian PhD student.
Click here to contact me about purchasing this product.
EXCEL-VB DRIVEN POULTRY LAYER FARM MANAGER SOFTWARE
Click here to download a detailed PDF user guide and watch 15 screen shot user guide tutorials of the Monthly Poultry Farm Manager that I now offer Farm CEOs.
Click here to contact me about purchasing this product.
SDN Blog™
New posts from last week*
Monday:
[Wednesday]:
[Thursday]:
Long Term Benefits of Empowerment Will Often Not be Immediately Obvious [Tips for Getting Your Kids to Make Profitable Use of Smartphone Technology]
[Friday]:
N/A
[Saturday]:
N/A
[Sunday]:
The FARM CEO (Issue 81): 2-in-1 Offer to Support Your Farm Business [FREE Customization of your Excel-VB Poultry Farm Manager & One year Basic Web Marketing Support]
Tayo K. Solagbade*
Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist
*Best Practice Farm Business Support Specialist & Founder of the MS Excel Heaven Visual Basic Automation Club and Competition
Mobile: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic)
Tayo K. Solagbade is a Location Independent Performance Improvement
Specialist and Multipreneur (i.e. a highly versatile/multi-skilled entrepreneur), with a bias for delivering Best Practice solutions to Farm Businesses and others.
Since 2002, he has earned multiple streams of income providing individuals and organizations with personal development training and coaching, custom MS Excel-VB solutions, web marketing systems/web hosting, freelance writing services, and best practice extension support services (for farm business owners).
Tayo is the author of the Self-Development (SD) Bible™ and the popular Livestock Feed Formulation Handbook. He is also the developer of its accompanying Excel-VB driven Ration Formulator™ and the Poultry Farm Manager™ software.
He has delivered talks/papers to audiences in various groups and organizations, including the Centre for Management Development, University of Lagos, Christ Baptist Church, Volunteer Corps, Tantalisers Fast Foods and others.
In May 2012 he was the Guest Speaker at the Centre for Entrepreneurship Development’s Annual Semester Entrepreneurial Lecture at Yaba College of Technology in Lagos.
On 1st April 2013, Tayo (who reads, write and speaks the French language) relocated to Cotonou, Benin Republic to begin slowly traveling across the West African region.
His key purpose is to deliver talks, seminars and workshops on his key areas of focus and interest to interested audiences (Email tayo at tksola dot com for details).
In a previous life, before leaving to become self-employed, Tayo served for seven years (October 1994 to December 2001) as a high performing manager in Guinness Nigeria. He rose from Shift Brewer to Training & Technical Development Manager, and later acted in senior roles as Production Manager and Technical Manager.
In addition to constantly challenging the status quo and influencing positive work changes, he built a reputation for using self-taught spreadsheet programming skills (starting with Lotus 1-2-3, and later moving to Excel Visual Basic) – in his spare time – to develop Automated Spreadsheet Applications to computerize manual report generation processes in the departments he worked. Over four(4) of his applications were adopted for brewery level reporting.
Tayo holds a B.Sc degree in Agricultural Extension Services from the University of Ibadan, Nigeria, having graduated top of his class – with Second Class Upper Division honors – in 1992. He is an Associate Member of the UK Institute & Guild of Brewing, a 1997 National Finalist of the Nigerian Institute of Management’s(NIM) Young Managers’ competition, a Certified Psychometric Test Administrator for Psytech UK, innovator of Spontaneous Coaching for Self-Development™ (SCfS-D™), and Founder of the Self-Development Academy (SDAc).
When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Daily Self-Development Nuggets blog – on which he also publishes The Farm CEO Weekly Newspaper (sent via email to paid subscribers) and his Weekly Performance Improvement IDEAS newsletter.
You can connect with him on Twitter @tksola.com and Facebook.
Visit Tayo Solagbade Dot Com, to download over over 10 performance improvement resources to boost your personal and work related productivity.
====
[IMPORTANT NOTE:====On 4th May 2014, Tayo’s 9 year old domain (Spontaneousdevelopment dot com), which hosted his website, was taken over by Aplus.net.
Within a few days however, Tayo used his advanced self-taught web development skills to build a SUPERIOR “reincarnation” of it the website http://www.tayosolagbade.com.
But updates are still ongoing to URLs bearing the old domain name in most of the over 1,000 web pages, and blog posts he’s published.
If you experience any difficulties finding a page or document, email Tayo at tksola dot com.
Click “Tayo, What Happened to SpontaneousDevelopmentDotCom ?” to read a detailed narrative about how the above event occurred :-))
Here’s an article Tayo wrote, to inspire others to defy adversity, and bounce back to even greater reckoning at what they do EVERY time:
Succeed by Emerging from Adversity Like a Phoenix
(TayoSolagbade.com launches extra Hosting plan with FREE Web Marketing!)
And he wrote the one below, to explain why losing a domain name, no matter how old, NO LONGER determines your online success or otherwise:
A Proven Strategy to Find Profitable Buyers Regardless of Your Domain Name
==================
Home |About | Contact | SD Nuggets™ | Speaking/Web Marketing IDEAS | Web Marketing Systems | Freelance Writing | MS Excel® Heaven™ | Cost-Saving Farm Biz Ideas
Category Archives: Parenting
Long Term Benefits of Empowerment Will Often Not be Immediately Obvious [Tips for Getting Your Kids to Make Profitable Use of Smartphone Technology]
I consider it crucially important to quickly and unceremoniously get kids OVER the feeling of awe that tends to overtake many of them in our part of the world, when they gain initial access to what are now increasingly affordable and often fancy mobile devices and gadgets (e.g. smartphones, tablets, laptops and computers) abundant in marketplaces today.
I recommend (based on best practice parenting ideas I advocate and use) the following lines of action:
Make them understand that owning such tools should always be a means to an end for them, and never the end in itself.
Ask them: What can you do, or learn toi do with it, to better pursue/acheueve goals that matter to your personal/career advancement?
Ask them: What can you do with it to make money or more money?
Ask them what they can do with it to solve problems for others e.g do they know how to build apps others need.
Or do they just download apps created by others?
Point out the fact to them that many apps they see on their devices actually make money for their creators.
Let them know PC and Internet Technology makes it possible for them to also create their own original money making apps for download by other users!
Most importantly challenge them to do some kind of REAL “work” or chore(s) to earn money to buy such devices if they want to own them.
Avoid buying such things for them using your own funds, without meaningful exertion on their part
Make them sweat to acquire it e.g by way of household chores completed and/or make them learn to do stuff to earn income to keep using it.
They might complain or even protest that you’re asking too much. They could even compare you to other parents who don’t demand such.
My advice is that you remember that parenting is not a democracy.
The long term benefits of empowerment will often not be immediately obvious. That will not mean it’s not there.
So stay firm and stay strong and they will be better off for it in the long run – by which time they will thank you for it!
That’s a fact.
Below is a photo of Itel phone in my 11 year old daughter’s hand on the day of her “graduation” (along with her younger sister), from a 2 week Facial Makeup and Gele Tying workshop they attended.
Most photos and videos of the various skills they were taught were recorded using this phone of hers.
Sadly, about a week later, she dropped this device into the bowl of soap water in which she was washing clothes, and the touch screen stopped working. We never got it fixed.
Today, I got her a Lenovo smartphone as replacement, mainly because they will need it to record what they are taught in the new hairdressing training they are to start.
However, I’ve made it clear she must resume her daily online business tasks execution, and ensure she hits the required DAILY points, if she wants to keep the phone and have the Internet browsing data subscription renewed.
If she does this for long enough, she will earn commissions from the online business, effectively paying for herself to continue using it. That’s the same approach I use with the 2 older brothers who have been told similar thing. So they know there is no free ride in a fancy car for them!
[RECOMMENDED] My Home Is Not A Democracy: 10 Commandments for Parents Who Refuse to Compromise their Children’s Future – by Joseph B. Woodley
The title of this book alone (cover shown below) speaks wisdom. My March 2016 article (titled, in part “Parenting Is NOT A Democracy…” – previewed/linked further down) is similarly themed. Wise parents will take heed before it is too late.
[RECOMMENDED] My Home Is Not A Democracy: 10 Commandments for Parents Who Refuse to Compromise their Children’s Future – by Joseph B. Woodley
I must warn you before you open the pages of this book; this will not be a “softball” or “appeasement” or “politically correct” book. The systematic strategy for dismantling and destroying the family unit and the God-given potential for greatness we each carry within us is no longer knocking at your door. We can no longer take the posture of back- seat drivers; reacting as if we are helpless kidnapped- passengers being dragged along for the ride by an oversized bully, incapable or unwilling to make the choices necessary to maintain the character and integrity of the home. Whether you are a two- parent home or a single- parent home, the choices we face are still the same. We can either choose to fold
up our tents and raise the white flag of surrender or we can choose to stop complaining about everything that is wrong with the world and fight. If you want to win and you refuse to compromise the future of your child to a world bent on promoting the worst in your child instead of getting the best out of them, then keep reading. ‘My Home is Not A Democracy’ draws a line in the sand, offers sound strategies for effective parenting and challenges every reader to stand your ground and fight for the future of your families.
=====
PII 007: Parenting Is NOT A Democracy [Hint: The Need to Assert Yourself to Get Results That Matter – Lesson from True Story of a Girl Who Made Pizza Without An Oven]
Photo below (taken in March 2016) shows my 10 year old girl smiling while holding one of our 3 “African Easter Pizzas” she had made. You would NOT believe she was the same person who had burst into tears while kneading the dough for the Pizza – after I scolded her for refusing her 12 year old brother’s help in doing it right 
Read full details of what happened here (click)
[DVAM] Women aren’t the only victims of domestic violence. Understand the signs of domestic violence against men, and know how to get help – MayoClinic.org
Prevailing stereotypes about Domestic Violence are making it so easy for cunning female offenders to get their male victims vilified as the abusers!
These manipulative women know how the system works, and they are “gaming” it to have their way at the expense of their intimate male partners.
Thankfully, we have females with integrity speaking out about this harmful trend (e.g Toyin Omoniyi, a female Nigerian Lawyer in her excellent piece titled Domestic Violence Against Men by Toyin Omoniyi (TyLegal))
And these fair minded females are demanding more recognition for DV Against Men.
Most are mothers to sons and siblings to brothers who they’ve seen suffer serious abuse at the hands of female partners.
Many are joining the movement to inform and educate, as are the men in their lives.
The information in the truly excellent (!) article published by the famous Mayo clinic (MayoClinic.org) – which is previewed/linked below – can help you get started learning what you need to know, to identify and stop DVAM
So I say this to you now…
If you’re male, lookout for the signs for YOUR own sake…
If you’re parent to someone who is male, and you really care for him lookout for the signs for HIS sake…,
If you’re uncle/aunt/brother/sister or relative to someone who is male, lookout for these signs for HIS sake…,…
Domestic violence against men: Know the signs – Mayo Clinic
Domestic violence against men isn’t always easy to identify, but it can be a serious threat. Know how to recognize if you’re being abused — and how to get help.
By Mayo Clinic Staff
Women aren’t the only victims of domestic violence. Understand the signs of domestic violence against men, and know how to get help.
Recognize domestic violence against men
Domestic violence — also known as intimate partner violence — occurs between people in an intimate relationship. Domestic violence against men can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse and threats of abuse. It can happen in heterosexual or same-sex relationships.
Continue reading…
RELATED RESOURCE
A new generation of shrewdly manipulative and cunningly abusive women are using protective systems put in place by society to exploit males that are their intimate partners.
In other words, they are gaming the system and by so doing are making a mockery of the eFforts to stop domestic violence by exploiting stereotypes about males being the only perpetrators, to abuse their partners at will while readily adopting the accepted posture of “victim in self-defence” when their actions come under scrutiny.
What they do, they teach other women and their own daughters, who rarely know better.
We need to fight and stop this trend. Our sons, brothers, fathers, uncles and other loved ones who beloing to the male gender, remain at grave risk if we don’t.
That’s why I’ve launched the page described below…
Page Name:
Domestic Violence Against Men – Ideas for Identifying & Stopping It
Page Description:
This page is dedicated to empowering men who find themselves, by some accident of fate on the receiving end of abuse from an intimate female partner.
Page URL:
DISCLAIMER: I Do Not Sell Fish etc!!! [Suspected Impersonator/Attempts to Discredit Me]
This is the 2nd or 3rd time I’m getting this kind of bothersome feedback.
It would appear some person(s) have been impersonating me in relating with Farm CEOs and other stakeholders.
A member of my Farm Business Ideas club – Tunde Okunuga – called me up at 08.56 this morning to say he’d referred his brother based in Ede to me a while back, and that the latter said he had been corresponding with me – claiming that I had even sold FISH to him!!!
Fish ke! Where would I keep them? Ede is a location I have never gotten a single call from. This made no sense at all!!
My mouth was hanging on the floor by this time, and I recalled a Real Estate CEO who’d told me a “Tayo Solagbade” – with a different photo from mine – had been sending him messages!
Beliow is the SMS I sent him after the call, which I post here as a precursor to a formal disclaimer I will publish later.
=Starts=
Hey Tunde.
I just spoke with MTN call center about your assertion that Alfa, in Ede, spoke with me on phone, noting that I never got such a call and have never heard that name or had an enquiry from Ede in my life.
Neither do I sell fish to anyone! The operative at my instance checked and found no active call direct on my line. A
s things stand it would be useful for me to speak with your brother to get a better idea of what’s going on.
Do respond.
Tayo
NB: I have since not been able to reach Tunde Okunuga on his line for some strange reason. And he has yet, as at this moment (4p.m) to reply my above SMS.
UPDATE (17th April 2017 @ 20:21): Tunde, who is on my newsletter mailing list, replied to the email broadcast version of THIS post, which I sent out, saying he would call his brother today, to find out what was really going on, noting that it did appear that someone was using my name. I’ll be posting any feedback he sends me, here, as soon as I get it,
[DVAM] It’s Time to Acknowledge Male Victims of Domestic Violence – By Bari Zell Weinberger, Esq. – huffingtonpost.com
[TIP: Yesterday, I formally launched my new Facebook page named “Domestic Violence Against Men – Ideas for Identifying & Stopping It“. The page is dedicated to empowering men who find themselves, by some accident of fate on the receiving end of abuse from an intimate female partner. Click here to visit it].
The Huffington Post article previewed and linked below, is yet another (like this one from yesterday) in a series that I’m compiling to SHOW clearly that DVAM is a major reality that is being ignored by most stakeholders, especially those tasked with duty of providing support and protection to abused persons.
This neglect of male victims of domestic abuse by females, is being exploited by a growing number of manipulative females to visit serious physical, emotional and psychological abuse on their partners, knowing prevailing stereotypes about domestic violence will make it easy to later claim to be the victims!
I have seen this happen MANY times over the past decade. So I speak from a position of personal knowledge and experience when I make these assertions. My mission is to influence a positive and permanent change in THIS unsatisfactory situation for the better.
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It’s Time to Acknowledge Male Victims of Domestic Violence – By Bari Zell Weinberger, Esq. – huffingtonpost.com
When we discuss domestic violence, it is often assumed that the victims are women. And the statistics are truly traumatic. The less-told story is that a striking number of men are victims, too, suffering physical, mental and sexual abuse in both heterosexual and same-sex relationships.
According to the CDC, one in four adult men in the U.S. will become a victim of domestic violence during his lifetime. That’s upwards of three million male domestic violence victims every year, or one man in America abused by an intimate or domestic partner every 37.8 seconds.
Highlighting these statistics is not meant to downplay in any way domestic violence among women. It is, however, intended to add to the growing conversation that anyone can be the victim of domestic abuse and everyone who needs protection deserves access to it.
Continue…
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bari-zell-weinberger-esq/its-time-to-acknowledge-m_b_8292976.html
RELATED ARTICLES
[DVAM] Domestic Violence Against Men by Toyin Omoniyi (TyLegal) – NairaLand.com & PraiseWorldradio.com
[Starting yesterday Thursday 13th April 2017, I formally announced my public service initiative to research, investigate and publicize potentially useful information and education by competent expert authorities on Domestic Violence Against Men]
The article previewed below was published by a female Nigerian lawyer, I find its contents most accurate, and recommend it to members of both genders,
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Domestic Violence Against Men by TyLegal: 2:22pm On Nov 19, 2015
Other forms of abuse are where a woman manipulates her man into granting her wishes or goes about spreading negative rumours about him to his friends or even on social media.
She might insinuate that her man beats her or does not provide for the family or that he is a ‘two-minute man’. She might also threaten to take the kids and disappear so that the man will not have any access to his kids. Women have also been known to drug their men or attack them in their sleep. If as a man, you are experiencing any of these, please get help fast.
Other forms of domestic violence against men are:
· Constant accusations of infidelity.· Putting him down or insulting him.
· Seizing his medications as a form of threat.
· Trying to control what he wears, eats or how he spends his money.
· Verbally abusing him, be it in the presence of friends, colleagues or even within closed doors.
· Blaming the man for her violent actions or making him feel that he deserves such treatment.
Towards the end she writes:
This is not to give women ideas on how to abuse their men o. It is to create awareness that men also get abused and they also need to be protected. Men should be on the lookout to ensure that they are not in such a relationship otherwise it would shatter the man’s ego and leave him a shadow of himself.
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What a wonderfully balanced mind this Nigerian Lady Lawyer has!
Read the full article at: http://www.nairaland.com/2748370/domestic-violence-against-men
Graduation Day at the 2 week Cosmetic Makeup and Gele Tying Workshop [Re: Empower Your Daughter to be Her Own Boss With Minimal Resources Via Vocation She Can Build on to Excel]
Yesterday was “graduation” day for my 8 and 11 year old daughters (and their much older fellow trainees) at the venue of the 2 week “Cosmetic Makeup and Gele Tying” workshop organized by the Lagos State Government.
I’m still suffering from cumulative fatigue: I’ve practically been out of circulation over the past 2.5 weeks taking them from home to the venue and STAYING with them till evening, to bring them back from Monday to Friday.
But it felt all worth it seeing them carryout their final assignments of doing makeup on the faces of the “clients” they were asked to bring along.
I took the photo below, outside the event hall about 30 minutes after the presentation ceremony had ended and item 7 (chop-chop) was ongoing.
My 2 daughters are dressed in the Ankara worn by all the other trainees.
The girl to the right is the daughter to the wonderful hairdresser lady who plaited their hairs. My 11 year old daughter did the makeup on her face as part of her final “practical”.
Then each girl had to do makeup on her own face – with no assistance from anyone. That was fun to watch – as it was a strange experience for both of them.
My (soon-to-be) 8 year old girl initially protested that she could not do it!
But she was told that was the requirement for completion. So she had to focus and do it.
What you see in the above photo is the result of her first ever attempt at applying makeup on her own face, instead of someone else’s lol
Note that they wore “Gele” during the ceremony, but which they took off right after the event – that’s indicated by the dark band along their hair lines in the other photo.
Sadly, some glitch caused most of the photos taken by the 11 year old’s Smartphone to render in relatively small 320 x 240 pixel sizes – like the 2 below!
a. The 11 year old inside the event hall
b. The 8 year old inside the taxi I hired so we could get there on time, AFTER we discovered we’d lost my ATM card and wasted valuable time trying to find it (details in the full post to come later)!
We still do not know what went wrong.
The other photos that are larger were taken by me using my Blackberry. But I was too busy guarding their makeup kit/tools which were scattered all over the floor, as they worked, to take as many photos as I would have loved.
Luckily, the organizers hired photographers, who took several photos of them that I’m hopeful we’ll be able to get copies of for whatever price they command.
As I noted earlier, my girls were the youngest participants at the event – in which we had attendees my age – and even older!
The 8 year old in particular, got LOTS of attention from guests (and the instructors) who came to record videos of her as she worked on her own client’s face.
So many commented on the fact that she was not intimidated/was confident and actually knew what to do and how.
Compared to her older sister, however, her “makeup” work was not so well finished.
But the instructors say she’s headed in the right direction and that with practice, she’ll get much better.
When she was called out to receive her certificate from the Guest of Honour (a “Honourable” from the Lagos State Government”), the MC introduced her saying “Ah, yes, this is our youngest participant!”
That caused the audience to exclaim even more than they had when the first saw her tiny figure walking up to collect the certificate!
It was VERY important to me that she (and her sister) have THAT experience of going out to shake hands as she did, with a VIP – who bent down to speak words of encouragement to her.
When she returned, the glow in her face told me all I needed to know: She LOVED the feeling of a sense of accomplishment it had given her.
I was therefore not surprised that she eagerly continued repairing the makeup on the face of her client, who had accidentally rubbed off some of the makeup.
Her 11 year old sister was also keen to preserve the work she’d done. So much so, that when she noticed her own client trying to use a facial wipe on her cheeks, she playfully patted her hand away saying:
“Ah, don’t spoil all my hard work O!”
This post is meant to just give a few highlights. The full story – ending with my admonition on Best Practice Parenting will come later.
I have a back log of work to dig into right now, so I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get it published, but photos etc will appear in the piece I will be writing on this wonderful journey to vocational skills empowerment my girls have commenced!
Empower Your Daughter to be Her Own Boss With Minimal Resources Via Vocation She Can Build on to Excel [Case Study: Cosmetic Makeup and Gele Tying]
Last Sunday (26th March 2017), I sent a Power Point slide show with the photos shown below, to the facilitator of the “Cosmetic Makeup and Gele Tying” training workshop being attended by my daughters – with the following message:
Hi Madam,
Photos of (the girls’) Makeup Practice On Each Other – Sun 26th March 2017
Please let’s have your feedback.
Yesterday’s attempts were not so good. They kept fighting each other. But today, went better
They will work on each other’s faces early tomorrow morning, before the class begins – as you have advised on Friday.
Below: Eye brows and eye shadow makeup done by the 8 year old, on her 11 year old sister.
The instructor later noted to me, when we met on Monday, that the 2 girls needed to better draw the brows to include a distinct “arch” and “tail”. They have since gotten much better at doing that – but have been told to do lots more practice at home this weekend.
Below: Eye brows and eye shadow makeup done by the 11 year old, on her 8 year old sister.
Below: Before and After photos of the 8 year old’s eye lids as the 11 year old worked on her
The instructor noted that they had yet to grasp the “blending” of the colours used, as reflected in the distinctly visible line between the 2 colours used.
Today was the 2nd day of “Gele Tying” in the Cosmetic Makeup and Gele Tying Workshop they’ve been attending
They were taught to use a very challenging multiple pleating technique made popular by the wife of a top Nigerian politician in the South West region of Nigeria.
It was however noted that the ease of reproduction of this style depends on the fabric from which the Gele itself is made – with Aso Oke, being the recommended, and which gives the best look.
In the photo below, my 11 year old daughter has her Gele done that way, using a fabric different from the recommended Aso Oke
Believe me when I say this entire experience has been, for me, MOST enlightening and inspiring.
This business of Cosmetic Makeup and Gele Typing requires application of major creativity and ingenuity by practitioners.
It’s been so exciting watching the instructors demonstrate how to mix colours to create amazing eye shadow effects, for instance.
The trainees also got told how to use various kinds of brushes to achieve different looks in the course of making up a client’s face.
Very little is left to guessing or trial and error – and that’s why it’s a vocation that commands enduring interest and respect!
This makeup business is both a science and an art: That’s why I am certain it’s a viable vocation to venture into – and the long term success reported for many practitioners confirms it.
What’s more, it has few entry limitations, making it open to anyone willing to do the work required to learn and to create.
Little wonder that the 2 week workshop has on attendance females of virtually all ages (including several older than myself) and backgrounds.
All worked together in what was mostly a cordial atmosphere, to learn from the very helpful instructors, and also to share with one another, what each person knew.
Some had been in the business already and only attended the training to brush up and learn new tricks of the trade.
Others, like my girls, were complete novices – so they got lots of coaching attention from the older ladies, which was pleasing to see.
It goes without saying that I’ve resolved they will be taking the formal 1 month training on offer, from the course facilitator, at her studio.
Yep. This is the kind of EDUCATION that I consider most valuable as a foundation for success in life.
One can build on it to acquire all other forms as one goes along, but it will provide a valuable means of income earning to do all other stuff, without needed too much help (if at all any) from others.
This Cosmetic Makeup and Gele Tying business is one that can empower ANY female of any age to be her own boss with minimal resources.
It’s VERY scientific in nature – requiring a willingness to learn how things work and practice till mastery is attained.
You simply cannot cut corners, because your client will always demand value for her money.
So, if the finished makeup you do on her face, or the Gele you tie on her head, fails to meet the standard you promised, your brand will suffer.
She will protest, and most likely tell others, or at least refuse to give you referrals.
None of that will serve your needs. That’s why those who succeed in this business tend to be disciplined and serious minded.
I believe this is why the ladies I observed all through the 2 week period were so serious in their disposition to doing what they were being taught.
They knew it was not a matter of writing some paper exam, but of being able to DEMONSTRATE mastery of the art of makeup – repeatedly, and consistently.
Here’s the best part: You can start out with a budget that is comfortable for you, and scale up as you succeed with client jobs you get.
This is because there will always be clients willing to pay you at your level of competence.
I have been told of locations in Lagos where young girls do Gele tying for only N500.00, and others where the lowest rate you can get the same service is N5,000.00!
Some of the ladies at the training explained that they can do full facial makeup for N2,500.00, because they are not so well established – noting that there are places where the lowest rate you can get the same service is N5,000.00!
All one needs to do is simply start with what one has and gradually work towards serving the market that pays more of what one wants, over time. If you work is good, the clients will hire you. People LOVE to look good!
In essence, the demand is there – Nigeria being a market in which females constantly demand for makeup services in various areas.
Smart ladies attending university would find acquiring this kind of skill useful in resisting peer pressures to fool around with Sugar Daddies to survive on campus etc.
And those ladies not on campus would be equally empowered to resist attempts by men or any other persons to control or manipulate them. This kind of business will make any female an empowered, independent woman in her own right!
That’s what I want my girls to become.
What about you?
Empower Your Child to Develop Market Relevant Income Generating Competencies [True Story]
[Photo below is of my 8 year old daughter with made up eye brows on Friday, at a practical cosmetic makeup training workshop venue for youths that she and her 11 year old sister 11 have been attending since the start of the past week ending Fri 24th March 2017]
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To make this possible for them, I’ve (VERY gladly) given up my normal work-from-home routine to take them down DAILY to attend what has been the first week of a 2 week long practical training workshop in Cosmetic Makeup and Gele Tying, here in Lagos.
They bought their own makeup tool kit on their very first day, and we’ve since connected with some “vendor” outlet to replenish their “stocks”.
It’s been so fulfilling to see my girls work closely with much older females from all walks of life, as they learnt to “draw” brows, using eye liner pencil, then apply eye shadow with contouring etc.
The excitement in their eyes all through the event each day, and when they eagerly, continue practising on themselevs HOURS after we return home in the evening/night makes me feel so fulfilled.
It’s obvious that their hearts are in it – just like they have demonstrated unending passion for baking all sorts of lovely stuff (e.g Pizza, Bread, Cakes, Chin-Chin, Cookies etc) using their trademark No-OVen Charcoal Stove method! (See photos of their baking projects at https://web.facebook.com/TemiandOluomasCharcoalStoveBaking/)
Next week, they will be learning how to apply lipstick, and other remaining aspects of cosmetic makeup. Then they’ll end with the last few day learning hoe to tie some exciting styles of Gele lol!
Suggestion to Parents: I’ve said it before,and I’ll say it again – Find out what your kid’s passion(s) is (are), and WORK with him/her to develop it (them) to income generating proficiency level. It’s the best gift you can give your child!!!!!
PS: Photos and videos coming soon.