Category Archives: Parenting

Successful People Say Making Mistakes Is What YOU Need to Succeed [FREE DOWNLOAD]

For over 25 years I’ve used the ideas I share in this short piece to excel – in spite of adversity – in EVERY area of endeavor I’ve ventured. You can use them too. Click the image under the following body of text to download it as a JPEG version you can read OFFLINE and even print/share to inspire others.

Buckminster Fuller once wrote:

“I know so much because I have made so many mistakes”

Very profound statement, based on deep insight.

Accomplished achievers who defied adversity to succeed, like Robert Kiyosaki have noted that MISTAKE MAKING and the sometimes resultant TEMPORARY DEFEAT (aka FAILURE) are necessary ingredients for authentic success achievement.

I have TESTED the above wisdom for over 25 years, first in paid employment and later self-employment, and found it works.

You become wiser by being willing to take RISKS to try new things you never did before, because doing so helps you LEARN what does not WORK, so you can narrow down to fewer options remaining until you do find WHAT WORKS.

By the time you succeed, you will KNOW MORE and it will show in the CONFIDENCE you display in relating with others.

You will boldly speak and act based on what I call STREET-WISDOM (aka YOUR experience based CONVICTIONS) and NOT textbook or armchair theories!

However, not everyone will LIKE you for that. Some will WRONGLY interpret your “confidence” as “ARROGANCE” and proceed to try discrediting you before others for that reason alone.

My attitude has always been to IGNORE the efforts of such people, even as I feel sorry for them for failing to grab the opportunity to LEARN what they can from me.

Indeed, anytime I encounter such people, I remember the following quote and smile inwardly, as they yap away:

“A person that does not know, BUT does not know, that s/he does NOT know, is a BIG FOOL” – Anonymous

[NB: Capitalized emphasis mine]:

T.K. Solagbade

Lagos, 25th August 2018

Email: tayo@tksola.com Web: www.tayosolagbade.com

sdn-meme-big-fool-rbuck

[DVAM] Man Writes Women Support Agency Saying His Estranged Wife is Teaching His Kids to Hate Him [Features Expert Articles/Research on the common problem of Parental Alienation]

Below is a paraphrased excerpt from a letter written by a Nigerian man to a women support agency, in which he complains that the mother of his kids, who he is no longer on good terms with, keeps trying to  ALIENATE him from the kids – by influencing them to hate him.

This article features previews/links to Authoritative Research Papers and News Reports on the – common – problem of PARENTAL ALIENATION of a parent by an embittered spouse. using the kids as a weapon. 

===Start of paraphrased excerpts===

I DO NOT DO IT TO HER. So she needs to stop teaching the kids to hate, disrespect, lie and bear false witness against ME – their father

Examples:

1. I always ask each child to apologize to her when rude, but she does the opposite to me e.g sometimes even praising them – saying things to the child like  “I trust you. Well done!

2. She tells them I hate them when I discipline them – so that some actually say so to me.

I’ve made several complaints about this to older relatives and later various agencies, with no improvement. This was after efforts to reason with her one on one, repeatedly failed.

3. When I try to correct the kids for wrong doing, she often takes sides with each rebelling child, to not only defy, but also insult me, and even goad them to physically attack me – sometimes causing injury to me.

To make matters worse, she even coached the kids to claim they’d attacked me because I was beating HER – when that was NEVER the case!

4. But the truth is that whenever she is away, and the kids are ALONE with me, they readily relax/have fun with me. However, as soon as she comes around the kids become stiff and less responsive to me, because they know she could get angry seeing them bonding with me.

I want all this to stop. What she is doing is abusive to me and the kids.

===End of paraphrased excerpts===

What this man’s partner is doing to him is called PARENTAL ALIENATION – a very common occurrence between disputing couples, with kids

 

==
What follows below are reports and papers that discuss Parental Alienation in elaborate detail…

It is instructive to note that BOTH women and men can be guilty of doing this to their spouses – as shown in reports and records from various societies.

Nigeria however lacks accurate information about the nature of occurrence of this problem.

I believe it’s time responsible bodies, and stakeholders began formally recording data on Parental Alienation, especially in light of the potentially damaging effect it can have on the target parent and the kids involved.

A. Children’s Lie-Telling to Conceal a Parent’s Transgression: Legal Implications

“””…the present study examined the lie-telling behavior of children aged 3–11 years to conceal their parents’ transgressions. It revealed that the majority of children told the truth about their parents’ transgressions. However, children’s lie or truth-telling behavior was adaptive and situation-specific. When the possibility of the child being blamed for the transgression was reduced, a significantly greater number of children lied about their parents’ transgressions.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2785013/

 

dvam-lie-telling

B. Divorcing parents who poison children against their former partner…

…The demonizing of a parent, usually by the one with whom the child lives, has long been recognized as damaging…’

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/divorce-laws-child-custody-parental-alienation-cafcass-mother-father-a8062941.html

 

“C. What Is ‘Malicious Mother Syndrome’? …Someone suffering from the syndrome:

1. Attempts to punish the divorcing parent though alienating their children from the other parent and involving others or the courts in actions to separate parent and child;

2. Seeks to deny children visitation and communication with the other parent and involvement in the child’s school or extra-curricular activities;

3. Lies to their children and others repeatedly and may engage in violations of law;

4. Doesn’t suffer any other mental disorder which would explain these actions.

NB: I’ve repeatedly stated EVERYWHERE I’ve gone to report these issues that Nkechi is mentally unstable – so item 4, to me, may not apply to her, and therefore she may not suffer from this syndrome.

https://family.findlaw.com/paternity/what-is-malicious-mother-syndrome.html

 

“D. The Impact of Parental Alienation on Children [Undermining loving parent-child relationships as child maltreatment]

“Parental Alienation involves a set of strategies, including bad-mouthing the other parent, limiting contact with that parent, erasing the other parent from the life and mind of the child (forbidding discussion and pictures of the other parent), forcing the child to reject the other parent, creating the impression that the other parent is dangerous, forcing the child to choose between the parents by means of threats of withdrawal of affection, and belittling and limiting contact with the extended family of the targeted parent.

There is now scholarly consensus that severe alienation is abusive to children (Fidler and Bala, 2010), and is a largely overlooked form of child abuse (Bernet et al, 2010),as child welfare and divorce practitioners are often unaware of or minimize its extent.

Hatred is not an emotion that comes naturally to a child; it has to be taught. A parent who would teach a child to hate or fear the other parent represents a grave and persistent danger to the mental and emotional health of that child. ”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/co-parenting-after-divorce/201304/the-impact-parental-alienation-children

 

“A father who was the victim of (parental) alienation, speaking anonymously, told the Guardian:

“I’ve lived through and witnessed the inexorable alienation of my older daughter over the past five years, which has culminated in complete loss of contact. I will not have seen or heard from her for three years this coming January. We had a fantastic, loving relationship for the first 12 years of her life. This is a horrible form of child abuse that is struggling to get out from under the rock of prejudice and ignorance.””

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/divorce-laws-child-custody-parental-alienation-cafcass-mother-father-a8062941.html

 

 

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PII 129: These Ideas Will Help You Defy Any Adversity to Succeed Anywhere, Doing Anything! [FREE PDF DOWNLOAD]

Even though I discuss this subject with specific reference to succeeding in business, the ideas I share in this 1,000 word (<5 min read) piece apply to achievement in ANY endeavour. I know that because I have used them successfully in paid as well as self-employment.

Indeed, for those who know me and have wondered how I have continually succeeded in achieving my goals, despite repeated visitations of adversity, what I share here provides the answers to your unasked questions!

First, let me begin with a quote I have always found powerfully insightful and inspiring:

“I have no special talents, and in high school I was far below average. I believe that the writings of (Napoleon) Hill sparked my rise, changing the way I thought about my inadequacies and removing many self-imposed limitations. I have no other explanations for the startling success of a person who had been so mediocre.” – James R. Cook, Millionaire Entrepreneur, in his New York Times Bestseller, The Startup Entrepreneur

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Tayo Solagbade's Performance Improvement IDEAS(PI Squared) Newsletter

Tayo Solagbade’s
Performance Improvement 
IDEAS
(PI Squared) Newsletter

Monday 13th August 2018

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NB: This PI Squared newsletter will be published weekly, on Mondays, in place of the Speaking/Web Marketing IDEAS newsletter, starting from today – 15th February 2016.
 I’m reinventing my Monday newsletter content and theme, to accommodate my vision of serving the growing audience of serious minded individuals and organizations reaching out to me, with information, education. news and research findings designed to help them do what they do better.

************

View Tayo Solagbade's video tutorials and demonstrations on Facebook Productivity Tips, Web Marketing, and for his Custom MS Excel-VB driven software applicationsJoin the SD Nuggets community on Facebook.comConnect with Tayo on Twitter.comConnect with Tayo on Google PlusConnect with Tayo on LinkedIn.com

PII 129: These Ideas Will Help You Defy Any Adversity to Succeed Anywhere, Doing Anything!

Even though I discuss this subject with specific reference to succeeding in business, the ideas I share in this 1,000 word (<5 min read) piece apply to achievement in ANY endeavour. I know that because I have used them successfully in paid as well as self-employment.

Indeed, for those who know me and have wondered how I have continually succeeded in achieving my goals, despite repeated visitations of adversity, what I share here provides the answers to your unasked questions!

First, let me begin with a quote I have always found powerfully insightful and inspiring:

“I have no special talents, and in high school I was far below average. I believe that the writings of (Napoleon) Hill sparked my rise, changing the way I thought about my inadequacies and removing many self-imposed limitations. I have no other explanations for the startling success of a person who had been so mediocre.” – James R. Cook, Millionaire Entrepreneur, in his New York Times Bestseller, The Startup Entrepreneur

cooks-book

You need to read Cook’s book (no pun intended) see it on sale here – to get a REAL feel for what he meant in the above quote.

But basically, the story in his book reveals how he went from neophyte entrepreneur, falling flat on his face many times for years, after quitting a salary job and starting a business without a business plan.

It provides elaborate details and eye opening insights what he went through and the lessons he learned about how to keep going, no matter what – until success is achieved.

Hear him…

“Like many others, I assumed that simply because I went into business, quick success would follow. I grievously under-estimated (and still do) the time necessary for a new project to get into the black (i.e. to make profit). Most of the difficulties I encountered couldn’t have been forecast; they always managed to catch me by surprise.” – James R. Cook

It is most often the repeated mistakes, setbacks and disappointments that many aspiring entrepreneurs in Nigeria experience that makes them abandon the idea of running their own businesses.

Many people in this country do not have the mental attitude needed to relentlessly pursue the achievement of sustained successes in their chosen endeavour.

During his active playing days, Michael Jordan was revered by his peers, coaches and fans for his “mental toughness”.

Fela Anikulapo Kuti was the same in his pursuit of musical excellence and human rights activism.

Time and time again he emerged from prison and/or nasty confrontations with agents of oppressive government regimes, especially during the military era, to continue preaching his message.
He had mental stamina, and this enabled him persist despite tremendous physical and psychological suffering he went through.

Gani Fawehinmi and Nelson Mandela also did the same in their respective lives.

It’s not enough to know how to do something; you must also have the mental stamina to deal with the attendant challenges/difficulties that will come up when you are engaged in your chosen endeavor.

Sadly, this requirement is not recognized in Nigeria. Yes, a sound understanding of the need for a success conscious mental attitude is missing in our society. It is neglected in all the various forms of formal/informal education provided in virtually every facet of our society.

This mental preparation is what is lacking when many people start up their businesses. They would often have consulted the right people, attended the right learning events, and mastered the technical aspects of running the business. But they often neglect…

====Excerpt Ends===

The above is an excerpt from a special FREE PDF DOWNLOAD edition of my weekly Performance Improvement Ideas (PII) newsletter. Any interested person can download the PDF version and share FREELY. See download link below.

Download THIS PDF using the link provided below…

Click HERE to download the full PDF version of this newsletter now (NO SIGNUP Needed)

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Excel-VB Driven Ration Formulator

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1. Click here to learn more about this app – watch demo videos etc

2.Click here to watch a 4 part video in which I demonstrate how to use this app to formulate rations using real life data sent to me by an Algerian PhD student.

Click here to contact me about purchasing this product.

EXCEL-VB DRIVEN POULTRY LAYER FARM MANAGER SOFTWARE

Click here to download a detailed PDF user guide and watch 15 screen shot user guide tutorials of the Monthly Poultry Farm Manager that I now offer Farm CEOs.

Click here to watch a screenshot demonstration of the Excel-VB Driven Poultry Farm Manager I built for a client farm business in Ekiti state, South West Nigeria.

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PII 128 – Commandment No. 5 of 10 – You Shall Confidently Offer to Solve Real Life Problems For Your Target Audience [Features TRUE STORY of Teenager Who Started Making Custom Shoes for Himself Because Shoe Sellers Rarely Have Shoes Fitting His Size 46 Feet]

This week I publish commandment No. 5 of 10 from my 10 part/10 week educational audio series titled “Ten Commandments of Web Marketing for Business Success“.

This is a special FREE DOWNLOAD edition. Any interested person can download the MP3 and PDF versions and share FREELY.

Commandment No. 5 of 10 – You Shall Confidently Offer to Solve Real Life Problems For Your Target Audience [Features TRUE STORY of Teenager Who Started Making Custom Shoes for Himself Because Shoe Sellers Rarely Have Shoes Fitting His Size 46 Feet]

Preview:

To market successfully, you need to present yourself as an AUTHENTIC PROBLEM SOLVER to your target audience. But that may not be as easy as it sounds, because first of all you need to know how to decide on what problem to solve, plus how much to charge for it, and who to offer your solution to you, that’d be willing to pay what you ask.

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Tayo Solagbade's Performance Improvement IDEAS(PI Squared) Newsletter

Tayo Solagbade’s
Performance Improvement 
IDEAS
(PI Squared) Newsletter

Monday 6th August 2018

Logo - Tayo Solagbade's Self-Development Academy


NB: This PI Squared newsletter will be published weekly, on Mondays, in place of the Speaking/Web Marketing IDEAS newsletter, starting from today – 15th February 2016.
 I’m reinventing my Monday newsletter content and theme, to accommodate my vision of serving the growing audience of serious minded individuals and organizations reaching out to me, with information, education. news and research findings designed to help them do what they do better.

************

View Tayo Solagbade's video tutorials and demonstrations on Facebook Productivity Tips, Web Marketing, and for his Custom MS Excel-VB driven software applicationsJoin the SD Nuggets community on Facebook.comConnect with Tayo on Twitter.comConnect with Tayo on Google PlusConnect with Tayo on LinkedIn.com

PII 128 – Commandment No. 5 of 10 – You Shall Confidently Offer to Solve Real Life Problems For Your Target Audience [Features TRUE STORY of Teenager Who Started Making Custom Shoes for Himself Because Shoe Sellers Rarely Have Shoes Fitting His Size 46 Feet]

[Ten Commandments of Web Marketing for Money Making Success]

This week I publish commandment No. 5 of 10 from my 10 part/10 week educational audio series titled “Ten Commandments of Web Marketing for Money Making Success“.

This is a special FREE DOWNLOAD edition. Any interested person can download the MP3 and PDF versions and share FREELY. See download links below.

Preview: To market successfully, you need to present yourself as an AUTHENTIC PROBLEM SOLVER to your target audience. But that may not be as easy as it sounds, because first of all you need to know how to decide on what problem to solve, plus how much to charge for it, and who to offer your solution to you, that’d be willing to pay what you ask.

To get my message across I share the true story of my 17 year old son, who – being rather big for his age – wears size 46 shoes (mine are 44!).

For a long time we often struggled to find shoes to buy for him. Very few vendors had shoes his size! So he often wore odd looking, worn shoes on outings. We had a problem!

Today, we have a lasting SOLUTION: he makes his own custom footwear (see photos on his website) – and now offers PAID custom footwear making solutions to others.

Read full PDF or listen to the MP3 audio version of this commandment for my full message!

Download THIS PDF &  the MP3 Audio version of Commandment No. 5 FREE using the links provided below…

1. Download the MP3 podcast here: Part 1 of 2 | Part 2 of 2

2. Download the PDF Transcript of the MP3 podcast HERE 

10-Commandments-Part5

Signup to join my Web Marketing for CEOs club and you’ll get ALL MP3 podcasts and PDF text transcript versions of Commandments No. 1 to 10 in this series, sent to you, with 4 additional gift resources you can study to learn how to achieve smart web marketing success.

Related Articles

[OFFER] Attract High Quality Buyers At Zero Cost: Become a member of my Web Marketing for CEOs club

Click here to learn how you can join my Web Marketing for CEOs club, and get my 1 year Web Marketing Support Service

Excel-VB Driven Ration Formulator

Click to view larger screenshot

1. Click here to learn more about this app – watch demo videos etc

2.Click here to watch a 4 part video in which I demonstrate how to use this app to formulate rations using real life data sent to me by an Algerian PhD student.

Click here to contact me about purchasing this product.

EXCEL-VB DRIVEN POULTRY LAYER FARM MANAGER SOFTWARE

Click here to download a detailed PDF user guide and watch 15 screen shot user guide tutorials of the Monthly Poultry Farm Manager that I now offer Farm CEOs.

Click here to watch a screenshot demonstration of the Excel-VB Driven Poultry Farm Manager I built for a client farm business in Ekiti state, South West Nigeria.

Click here to contact me about purchasing this product.

SDN Blog™

New posts from last week*

Monday:

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[Friday]:

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[Sunday]:

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Go Hard: Keep Watering Your Dream] by Les Brown [Verbatim Video Text Transcript by Tayo K. Solagbade to celebrate turning 48 on 6th July 2018]

Go Hard [Keep Watering Your Dream] by Les Brown ]

[Verbatim Video Text Transcript by Tayo K. Solagbade to celebrate turning 48 on 6th July 2018]

“…That it’s not gonna happen as quickly as you want it to happen. Lots of things gonna happen that will catch you off guard. And so therefore you have to deal with and handle it as it comes. And not only that…But that faith and patience, drives you into action. You’ve got to keep moving and keep plugging away. In the Far East, they have something that’s called the “Chinese Bamboo tree”.

The Chinese Bamboo tree takes five years to grow. And when they go through a process of growing it, they have to water and fertilize the ground where it is, every day. And it doesn’t break through the ground, until the fifth year. Okay. But once it breaks through the ground, within 5 weeks, it grows 90 feet tall!

Now the question is does it grow 90 feet tall in 5 weeks, if 5 years? The answer is obvious: It grows 90 feet tall in 5 years! Because at any time, had that person stopped watering and nurturing and fertilizing that dream, that bamboo tree would have died in the ground.

I can see people coming out, talking to a guy out there watering and fertilizing the ground that’s not showing anything. “Hey, what ya doing? You’ve been out here a long time men! And the conversation in the neighborhood is you growing the Chinese Bamboo tree. Is that right?”

“Yeah that’s right”

“Well ah, even Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder can see that ain’t nothing showing!” You know that’s how people gonna do you. “So how long you’ve been working on this? How long have you been working on your dream – and you have nothing to show…THIS is all you got to show???”

People gonna do that to you. And some people ladies and gentlemen, they stop. Because they don’t see instant results. It doesn’t happen quickly – they stop.

Oh no, no, no, no. You gotta keep on watering your dreams. And when it begins to happen…they stop laughing. They say “Look! Woah, okay, it’s, look at…Hey men, I knew you could do it. Look here, you got a job here?” [Laughter + Applause]

===Ends===

The ideas shared by Les in his talk resonate greatly with me. [Watch video at www.tinyurl.com/lesbrowncbamboo]

Read my March 2007 piece titled “There Is Nothing Wrong With A Humble Beginning- Achieve YOUR Success With Honour & Integrity” at www.tinyurl.com/tkshumblestart

gohard1

I created the above PDF digital flyer as a gift for persons in my network of contacts who reach out to me on my 48th birthday anniversary and any others who indicate interest in having it.

Click here to download the above verbatim transcript flyer.

Please share freely.

Tayo K. Solagbade, Location Independent Performance Improvement Specialist & Multiptreneur

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[DVAM] VIRAL VIDEO > 1m Views – What It Really Means to Be a ‘Strong Woman’: Nigerian Woman Delivers Hard Hitting Message to Peers About Relationships [Download FREE Verbatim Transcript PowerPoint Slideshow created by Tayo K. Solagbade for www.facebook.com/stopdvambytks]

In this post I share a download link to the transcript slideshow I’ve prepared of a VIRAL VIDEO that has been watched over 1million times!

It’s message is VERY relevant to the current times.

The Nigerian woman who authored it (judging from her looks) belongs to the age group of women she addresses. And she pulls no punches in telling those of them guilty of bad habits she describes, in relating with their male partners, why they are wrong, and what they need to do to change for the better.

I strongly recommend that EVERY woman watch this video, and also that EVERY parent make his/her children watch it, so they can LEARN what kind of behavior to emulate.

In creating my transcript slideshow version of it, I decided to give it a TITLE and SUBTITLE, as follows:

Title = What It Really Means to Be a ‘Strong Woman’

Subtitle = Nigerian Woman Delivers Hard Hitting Message to Peers About Relationships

Here’s an excerpt:

“A strong woman is that woman that is matured – spiritually, physically and emotionally. You should be able to manage your emotions. Control them – not them controlling you. Men can say a whole lot of things that can get us aggravated. Yes, it’s normal. We can say that too.”

Click below to download the full verbatim transcript slideshow I prepared. The URL to the full video is provided on the last slide.

women-slide-shot

 

The slideshow provides the URL to the full video. Click here to view it now…

This is a FREE VIDEO Based Transcript Slideshow created for my advocacy Facebook page titled “page [Domestic Violence Against Men (DVAM) – Ideas for Identifying and Stopping It]” at http://www.facebook.com/stopdvambytks dvam

PS: Would you like to receive the Power Point Slideshow directly in your email?

So you don’t have to view at your own convenience? Click here to send me a request – and I will email it to your inbox.

[DVAM] Women Who Emotionally Abuse Men

 of acculturated dot com discusses ways in which (some) women routinely subject their men to emotional abuse in both private and public. He notes that this habit, in the long run can (and sometimes does) make the men turn around to become abusers themselves!

Women Who Emotionally Abuse Men

We’ve all seen it. And heard it. You’re in a restaurant. There’s a man there with his girlfriend. As people are eating and socializing, you can’t help but notice. When the man tries to speak, he is cut off by his girlfriend. She mocks him when he tells a story that might make him look good, and finishes his jokes for him. When the waiter brings the menus, she makes fun of his selection.

women-abusers

Continue…

https://acculturated.com/women-who-emotionally-abuse-men/

PII 121: We Need Schooling Systems That Empower Learners to Maximize Their Potentials in Every Possible Way

This is the first of what will be a series I will be publishing on the theme of Best Practice Parenting. with a focus specifically on education as it relates to schooling – and why there is a massive difference between those 2 expressions.

In other words, I’m saying that there is a massive difference between what people refer to as SCHOOLING and what they call EDUCATION..

The primary target audience I have in mind for this message are people in government, who have any role to play in influencing the so called education that is happening in Nigeria, especially, and other places in general.

The main issue I want to address has to do with:

  1. What is being taught in schools and…
  1. Why, I believe, strongly too, that 80% of the time, most conventional schools in Nigeria and other societies are doing more damage to kids than whatever benefits they say they add to them!

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Tayo Solagbade's Performance Improvement IDEAS(PI Squared) Newsletter

Tayo Solagbade’s
Performance Improvement 
IDEAS
(PI Squared) Newsletter

Monday 11th June 2018

Logo - Tayo Solagbade's Self-Development Academy


NB: This PI Squared newsletter will be published weekly, on Mondays, in place of the Speaking/Web Marketing IDEAS newsletter, starting from today – 15th February 2016.
 I’m reinventing my Monday newsletter content and theme, to accommodate my vision of serving the growing audience of serious minded individuals and organizations reaching out to me, with information, education. news and research findings designed to help them do what they do better.

************

View Tayo Solagbade's video tutorials and demonstrations on Facebook Productivity Tips, Web Marketing, and for his Custom MS Excel-VB driven software applicationsJoin the SD Nuggets community on Facebook.comConnect with Tayo on Twitter.comConnect with Tayo on Google PlusConnect with Tayo on LinkedIn.com

PII 121: We Need Schooling Systems That Empower Learners to Maximize Their Potentials in Every Possible Way

This is the first of what will be a series I will be publishing on the theme of Best Practice Parenting. with a focus specifically on education as it relates to schooling – and why there is a massive difference between those 2 expressions.

In other words, I’m saying that there is a massive difference between what people refer to as SCHOOLING and what they call EDUCATION..

The primary target audience I have in mind for this message are people in government, who have any role to play in influencing the so called education that is happening in Nigeria, especially, and other places in general.

The main issue I want to address has to do with:

  1. What is being taught in schools and…
  1. Why, I believe, strongly too, that 80% of the time, most conventional schools in Nigeria and other societies are doing more damage to kids than whatever benefits they say they add to them!

You may not agree with me, especially if you are somebody that is benefiting from the system

The naked truth is that it IS a MONEY MAKING system primarily.

In most of the schools where it is used, they do NOT care about the kids enough to ensure they get the learning they need. Money determines most of what is done.

I say this with no apology – it is, like I said before, the TRUTH.

Most of the schooling systems are just designed to make money for the owners and those who are their partners.

This same situation exists in many tutoring centers. And that’s why this latter group is able to put up promotional banners, posters and boards like the one in the photo below, which make outrageous offers:

special-centre-tutor

How do you explain the fact that a tutoring center (see photo above) is able to GUARANTEE that you WILL get passing grades in ALL subjects you take in the examinations, IF you enroll there?

It’s simple. They’ve got it all cooked up to work the way they want i.e. they have paid their way to ensure it happens.

No Nigerian capable of conscious thought can claim NOT to be aware of the fact that virtually everything has a price in Nigeria. And that in our educational sector, SPECIAL CENTRES abound which offer willing parents and their wards any flexibility they want, to cheat their way to success in exams.

The schools do their own “bragging” about guaranteed exams results success a bit less openly. But the same arrangement exists.

The policy makers and government agencies/operatives who are supposed to monitor and engage in the implementation of the so called educational policies for the most part are just people who are only there for the ride.

They are not actively involved in doing any quality control. My mother was an educator for about 30 years in Nigeria – and worked as a teacher in leading schools for many years till she retired. During this time she taught hundreds of kids, including us, her children. When we came back from school, you would have exercises to do e.g. Lacombe’s in Math etc.

She invested hundreds of hours into teaching ALL her pupils with passion, every day she had the opportunity to interact with them. She told us teaching was her passion  and it was obvious from the way she taught us. That was why it was no surprise that she went on to earn Montessori level certification to boost her work related competence. She wanted to be the best she could be FOR her pupils.

To say that we turned out right academically is stating the obvious – but what many may miss is the fact that THAT did not happen through Osmosis.

That was an example that I saw in my own life a child of what a parent who understands his/her own role as the first teacher in the life of her children was supposed to be.

But you DO NOT have to be a trained teacher to be the first and most important teacher in the life of your child.

You see, this is because your job is not to become an out-and-out teacher.

Instead your role is to guide the process of learning that your child in being exposed to, by interacting with whatever organization, individual or entity that is providing learning to your child.

Before you can regard SCHOOLING as delivering the right EDUCATION (or being the same) we need that activity to take place on regular and reliable basis, where the required QUALITY CONTROL intervention is happening, and is not in doubt in terms of its effectiveness.

My mother told us about INSPECTORS OF EDUCATION

They used to go from school to school and would quietly sit at the back of the class (or stand outside the window), monitoring a teacher in action.

They would then rate the teacher and communicate their findings to him/her in form of feedback designed to aid performance improvement.

That was the kind of arrangement that existed when my mother was learning as a student in the Teachers Training College back then!

Of course such things no longer exist today, in schools, for the most part.

I recall discussing this issue with a Head Teacher in one of Nigeria Public Primary Schools, She explained to me that education inspectors still go round, but they are not in enough numbers to cover all the schools.

But that did not impress me much since it is likely that corrupt advances are likely to be made to those inspectors to influence whatever ratings they award to the teachers – and their schools.

If that was not the case, the terrible fall in standards of teachers as well as pupils/students produced from our schools would NOT have happened

As a result what we have are schools all over the country that simply do NOT meet the basic standards of what should be a school.

So they are just there – physical buildings people wear uniforms to, in order to meet human beings who call themselves teachers but often do not think/act like they are.

Little wonder then that the EDUCATION that should happen is not happening in most of these schools.

However, because learners are wearing school uniforms and carrying textbooks in backpacks, we assume they are getting an education.

Sadly, the reality is that our children are being taken through a process that is actually more damaging, because what they are going through are a lot of activities that don’t add much value to them. Activities that expose them to mind-numbing experiences.

Those children consequently finish from such schooling systems but do not even come out with functional education of any sort.

This is the reality that faces us today.

It is why we have all these products coming out from our institutions, which are being repeatedly described as unemployable by potential employers.

It’s not that the employers hate them.

It’s because they are coming out into society, after finishing their schooling, without ANY relevant abilities, that will solve the potential employer’s problems or meet his/her pressing needs.

No employer is going to “dash” you money for finishing from school.

They want to see that you are going to be useful to them.

No sane business owner, for instance, is going to be paying you money for doing nothing while on his/her payroll!

So the question is:

Do the schools that society is providing, and which the state is telling citizens to send their kids to -(in line with so called law that :”Every child must go to school”) get checked to be sure that those schools will deliver to society, products that will meet the needs of society, and solve its problems?

The truth of the matter is that the answer is NO.

Our people in government are NOT doing that.

Let me make something clear: I’m NOT telling anyone in responsible positions in government that they do not know their jobs.

Instead what I’m doing is to draw your attention to the fact that there is something that you’re missing.

You’re free to decide whether or not to take the points I make seriously, – or discard them.

I will however say this:

The fact that you work in government today does not mean that you will be immune from the negative impact of your actions and/or inactions in the education sector, such as those I’ve continually highlighted in my write-ups.

You see, when you’re giving people inadequate education, they will go and function in society in an inadequate manner.

Now, when you retire or even when your own kids go into society – WITH SUPERIOR COMPETENCE – they’re going to meet those other kids, who will be ready to break any rules and cut any corners to get ahead of your child, who is more competent, – because they will see him/her as a threat immediately, because he has one thing they don’t have.

So what’s the solution?

You simply need to do the right thing: Give children the ability/skills when they are in school, so that when they step out of school, they will instantly be seen by society as useful.

I’ll give you an example:

If your school develops a reputation for producing young people that have the ability to excel at international levels in competitive sports, and therefore becomes a destination for scouts looking for, say, good footballer. Assume your school has a wonderful sports programme.

So the kids are learning all the academics, but the school also has a system that allows them to also get really good at soccer.

My school (C and S College, Ilorin, in Kwara state) had that. We produced many people who were very good at competitive sports – and some of them (like Olapade Adeniken) even went on to represent Nigeria at the Olympics.

That kind of schooling system makes career options quite variable – giving children the opportunity to look at some many possibilities they can explore.

I was there when Olapade Adeniken ran his first race in the 100 meters leaving everybody behind in the dust. The state coaches wasted no time in recruiting him – and his career took off from there.

That kind of thing – a system that allows people to maximize their potentials – is what gets the best results for learners to enter the real world.

You don’t limit them!

That’s the problem we have today. Most of the conventional schools are not interested in the full dimensions of the abilities of the kids.

They just focus on one thing: book learning…

AND the FAULT rests directly with the people in government.

This is because nobody is checking what the schools are doing – so the schools have turned it into a business.

All they do now is to increase the number of subjects, so as to justify raising tutoring fees.

How can kids be studying 14 to 21 subjects at primary/secondary school levels?

When I was schooling at that level, we only had to take about 7 to 9 subjects. In fact, I took 5 subjects I really wanted to gain credits in. But I added 2 extra to make it up to 7.

It goes without saying that studying for those subjects was not easy. So one can only imagine how challenging it must be for today’s kids who have to study double the number of subjects!

The only reason that unhealthy learning situation exists in our schooling system is that the QUALITY CONTROL checks that should be done are NOT happening.

I argue that smart parents will take action to protect their kids from the damaging impact of exposure to this kind of schooling, by getting involved in giving their kids the right kind of coaching – especially in a way that enables the child discover, develop and maximize his/her full potentials in every area of life – especially in use of their income earning vocational skills and talents.

Read: TRUE STORY: An Invitation from the Ministry of Youth and Social Development to Discuss My Paper Titled “Schooling Is a Means to an End and NOT an End In Itself”

TRUE STORY: An Invitation from The Ministry of Youth and Social Development to Discuss My Paper Titled “Schooling Is a Means to an End and NOT an End In Itself”

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Excel-VB Driven Ration Formulator

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1. Click here to learn more about this app – watch demo videos etc

2.Click here to watch a 4 part video in which I demonstrate how to use this app to formulate rations using real life data sent to me by an Algerian PhD student.

Click here to contact me about purchasing this product.

EXCEL-VB DRIVEN POULTRY LAYER FARM MANAGER SOFTWARE

Click here to download a detailed PDF user guide and watch 15 screen shot user guide tutorials of the Monthly Poultry Farm Manager that I now offer Farm CEOs.

Click here to watch a screenshot demonstration of the Excel-VB Driven Poultry Farm Manager I built for a client farm business in Ekiti state, South West Nigeria.

Click here to contact me about purchasing this product.

SDN Blog™

New posts from last week*

Monday:

N/A

[Friday]:

[DVAM] The 3 Types Of Nagging That DESTROY Your Marriage

[Saturday]:

N/A

[Sunday]:

[MUST READ] Sexual predators as academics in Nigeria

Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist and Multipreneur

*Best Practice Farm Business Support Specialist & Founder of the MS Excel Heaven Visual Basic Automation Club and Competition

Mobile: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic)

http://www.tayosolagbade.com

Tayo K. Solagbade is a Location Independent Performance Improvement Specialist and Multipreneur (i.e. a highly versatile/multi-skilled entrepreneur), with a bias for delivering Best Practice solutions to Farm Businesses and others.

Since 2002, he has earned multiple streams of income providing individuals and organizations with personal development training and coaching, custom MS Excel-VB solutionsweb marketing systems/ web hosting, freelance writing services, and best practice extension support services (for farm business owners).

Tayo is the author of the Self-Development (SD) Bible™ and the popular Livestock Feed Formulation Handbook. He is also the developer of its accompanying Excel-VB driven Ration Formulator™ and the Poultry Farm Manager™ software.

He has delivered talks/papers to audiences in various groups and organizations, including the Centre for Management Development, University of Lagos, Christ Baptist Church, Volunteer Corps, Tantalisers Fast Foods and others.

In May 2012 he was the Guest Speaker at the Centre for Entrepreneurship Development’s Annual Semester Entrepreneurial Lecture at Yaba College of Technology in Lagos.

On 1st April 2013, Tayo (who reads, write and speaks the French language) relocated to Cotonou, Benin Republic to begin slowly traveling across the West African region.

His key purpose is to deliver talks, seminars and workshops on his key areas of focus and interest to interested audiences (Email tayo at tksola dot com for details).

In a previous life, before leaving to become self-employed, Tayo served for seven years (October 1994 to December 2001) as a high performing manager in Guinness Nigeria. He rose from Shift Brewer to Training & Technical Development Manager, and later acted in senior roles as Production Manager and Technical Manager.

In addition to constantly challenging the status quo and influencing positive work changes, he built a reputation for using self-taught spreadsheet programming skills (starting with Lotus 1-2-3, and later moving to Excel Visual Basic) – in his spare time – to develop Automated Spreadsheet Applications to computerize manual report generation processes in the departments he worked. Over four(4) of his applications were adopted for brewery level reporting.

Tayo holds a B.Sc degree in Agricultural Extension Services from the University of Ibadan, Nigeria, having graduated top of his class – with Second Class Upper Division honors – in 1992. He is an Associate Member of the UK Institute & Guild of Brewing, a 1997 National Finalist of the Nigerian Institute of Management’s(NIM) Young Managers’ competition, a Certified Psychometric Test Administrator for Psytech UK, innovator of Spontaneous Coaching for Self-Development™ (SCfS-D™), and Founder of the Self-Development Academy (SDAc).

When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Daily Self-Development Nuggets blog – on which he also publishes The Farm CEO Weekly Newspaper (sent via email to paid subscribers) and his Weekly Performance Improvement IDEAS newsletter.

You can connect with him on Twitter @tksola.com and Facebook.

Visit Tayo Solagbade Dot Com, to download over over 10 performance improvement resources to boost your personal and work related productivity.

====
[IMPORTANT NOTE:====

On 4th May 2014, Tayo’s 9 year old domain (Spontaneousdevelopment dot com), which hosted his website, was taken over by Aplus.net.

Within a few days however, Tayo used his advanced self-taught web development skills to build a SUPERIOR “reincarnation” of it the website http://www.tayosolagbade.com.

But updates are still ongoing to URLs bearing the old domain name in most of the over 1,000 web pages, and blog posts he’s published.

If you experience any difficulties finding a page or document, email Tayo at tksola dot com.

Click “Tayo, What Happened to SpontaneousDevelopmentDotCom ?” to read a detailed narrative about how the above event occurred :-))

Here’s an article Tayo wrote, to inspire others to defy adversity, and bounce back to even greater reckoning at what they do EVERY time:

Succeed by Emerging from Adversity Like a Phoenix

(TayoSolagbade.com launches extra Hosting plan with FREE Web Marketing!)

And he wrote the one below, to explain why losing a domain name, no matter how old, NO LONGER determines your online success or otherwise:

A Proven Strategy to Find Profitable Buyers Regardless of Your Domain Name
==================

View Tayo Solagbade's video tutorials and demonstrations on Facebook Productivity Tips, Web Marketing, and for his Custom MS Excel-VB driven software applicationsJoin the SD Nuggets community on Facebook.comConnect with Tayo on Twitter.comConnect with Tayo on Google PlusConnect with Tayo on LinkedIn.com

Home |About | Contact | SD Nuggets™ | Speaking/Web Marketing IDEAS | Web Marketing Systems | Freelance Writing | MS Excel® Heaven™ | Cost-Saving Farm Biz Ideas

audience profile. I can help to research and investigate the market there, to get firmer details of what it will take to get started etc.

[DVAM] The 3 Types Of Nagging That DESTROY Your Marriage

Expert author, Carin Goldstein MFT of YourTango dot com discusses 3 ways in which a woman can – unintentionally – use nagging to destroy her marriage.

[DVAM] The 3 Types Of Nagging That DESTROY Your Marriage

If nothing or no one is ever good enough for you, consider the common denominator.

“You actually call this making the bed?! This is ridiculous. You need to do it the way I do it.”

“Will you turn the TV off already and help me get these wet, naked children out of the bath?!”

“Thanks for not giving me a kiss goodbye this morning… You know, it would be nice if you thought about me before leaving!”

Do any of the above comments sound familiar? Perhaps the above are something you are nagging your husband with on a daily basis? Are you feeling like a broken record as you continue to repeat yourself while he continues to quietly dismiss the sound (dare I say “the noise”?) of your nagging — only to leave you feeling more dismissed by than ever? If the answer is yes, then allow me to remind you this: It takes two to tango. That being said, part one of the issue is, yes, he’s either not doing things the same way as you or not listening to you.

nagging-types

Continue…

https://www.yourtango.com/2013199135/nagging

Making Custom Ankara Footwear by Restoring Old, Discarded Ones – TemiAndOluoma.com

Making Custom Ankara Footwear by Restoring Old, Discarded Ones

In this post we share photos of our first attempts at making various kinds of simple custom footwear. Today, Temi and Oluoma’s older brother, Emeka whose natural talent for making handicrafts was discovered early, is apprenticing in a custom shoe making outfit, and is already able to make simple footwear (which will be showcased soon on his website that’s currently under construction).

Read more http://discovercotonou.com/temiandoluoma/2018/06/06/making-custom-ankara-footwear-by-restoring-old-discarded-ones/

 

temi-oluoma-video-shot