True Riches/Success Come Via Effective Real World Relevant Parenting

I’m not rich…yet. But I will be – it’s one of a number of goals I’ve set for myself. However, while I work towards that goal, another goal I’m even more passionate about achieving is doing my best to prepare my kids for an authentically succesful adulthood (Emphasis on authenticity).

Infact I believe successfully preparing my kids to excel in life is a better way to succeed, and if I had to give one up, it would be the goal of getting rich.

To me, parents will be truly rich if they equip their kids with the knowledge, skills and mental attitude to excel in society, regardless of the limitations of their socio-economic circumstances or environment.

But Successful Parenting Is Easier Envisioned Than Actualized

Doing the above is however easier said than done. The “job” of parenting is no respecter of educational degrees or professional certifications.

To succeed, your intentions and plans will need to be diligently put into action year after year, until your kids go out on their own into the real world, and achieve authentic success.

If you’ve ever had to manage/raise children, you’ll know keeping the foregoing going require a rare mix of courage and peristence. Children will test your patience, especially in their teens.

Most of us have had to pass through all kinds of experiences before our kids were born. Sometimes we assume we’ve seen it all.

But when our kids arrive, we suddenly discover we need to acquire new knowledge and a completely new set of skills!

Parenting is a totally different kettle of fish from any experience most of us have ever had – with the exception, of course, of some of us who may have gained some hands-on experience caring for kids out of interest, or as a vocation.

But even that is rarely enough to make someone a competent parent.

You Will Not Always Have Satisfactory Answers For Her – No Matter How Hard You Try

Guiding and nurturing another human being to find her place in the world you already operate in takes a lot.

There are physical, emotional and psychological dimensions to consider in a childs development. None of them can be treated as less important than the others.

While the child is in her formative years, you will not always have the answers, and yet the child will always expect you to.

What’s more, as she grows older and gets more curious, she’ll begin to question things more and more. Including everything you do tell her – especially about life, and how best to live it, and succeed.

For instance, she could ask:

How come the neighbors kids have so many toys to play with and I dont? Why cant you get me stuff like that? Why dont we seem to have enough money to go on fancy trips and holidays my friends at school tell me their parents take them on all the time?

Teach Her The Value of Delayed Gratification

To please her, do what you can with what you have.

However,  if you lack the means to do it without incurring negative outcomes, you need to tell her. Maybe mortgage payments and some other investments you’re making for the future, currently prevent you from indulging in such immediate pleasures. Or maybe you’re just not earning enough to allow for such expenses at the moment.

Whatever the reason, tell her as simply as possible. Explain the implied benefit to be had from practicing delayed gratification.

My experience indicates this is quite easy to teach to kids, and once they get started on it, youll be surprised at how quickly they’ll use it to make progress. And they’ll regard it as fun!

For instance, ever since I began rewarding each of my kids with a 100% interest on money they saved, at the end of each month, I’ve noticed they’ve all become quite serious about not spending any money given to them by grandparents, and other relatives.

Make Her Work to Earn Any Extra That She Gets

In fact, even if you could afford it, historical evidence shows that it is smarter to get a child to develop a healthy respect for money.

To achieve that, make her realize it has to be earned before it can be spent. So when she starts asking for extras such as more toys or fancy holiday trips offer her an opportunity to earn them.

My soon-to-be-12 year old son once asked me for money to buy an item he said a classmate of his owned, an which he liked. I told him he could save up for it by washing my car every fortnight for a fee of N50. (The item cost N100 or N150 I think). I wasn!t surprised to see him apply himself diligently to that task until he’d earned the needed amount.

Important Note: This Is Not An Attempt To BragI’ve just shared what I’ve done with my kids, to give you ideas of what’s possible.

My purpose for giving the above examples is basically to share what seems to have worked for me, in the hope that you may find it useful for your purposes.

But What If She Questions Your Competence To Tell Her About Money?

Sometimes it could be that you simply do not have the means to accommodate such additional luxuries, because you do not currently earn enough.

The child may accept this, but depending on the environment she’s exposed to, and the friends she keeps, it could influence her decision about how much attention she should pay YOU – particularly when you give her advice about what to do to make money for instance.

Lets face it, we all know the parable about the naked guy who offers you his shirt.

Would you easily accept financial advice from someone who seems to be struggling to make ends meet?

Your kid may face that challenge at some point in life. Letting you give her advice about what to do may be viewed against the background of how well she sees you doing.

And if you’re struggling financially, she could tell herself:

“I want something better. My parents don’t have the money making aspect of life well worked out yet. Maybe Kelly’s dad will have to usable advice on finances that I can explore”.

Robert Kiyoaki’s Rich Dad Poor Dad bestseller book’s story effectively illustrates the point I’m making here. While he recognized his real dad’s academic prowess, Robert’s questioning mind led him to get financial education and coaching from his “other dad”.

What Can You Do

I believe the truth is that we can only try to do what we can for our kids. Sometimes we won’t have all aspects of life locked down.

There are likely to be areas where we will be better off letting someone else help our kids.

And as parents, if we truly love our kids we’ll be wise to quickly identify such persons and facilitate the process of bring them into our children’s lives as early as possible.

Sometimes it will be their teacher(s) in school, or a gifted or talented friend. And at other times it could be a relative of yours or even a friend, business associate, former classmate, indeed anyone you can reasonably trust to help your child acquire needed knowledge and skills to fill in any gaps in her learning.

If you love your kids and want them to flourish in life, you must be ready to do the above and whatever else is in their best interests.

It may surprise you that at the end of the day, when they achieved the success you so selflessly prepared them for, they will tell all who ask that YOU made them succeed.

That’s exactly what the world famous Ben Carson said about his uneducated single parent mother, regarding the amazing role she played in making him the genius in brain surgery that we all know him to be.