I have coached people of different ages and socioeconomic backgrounds – face to face and remotely – over the past 15 years.
During this time, kids have earned a special place in my “coaching heart” because I’ve found that they are the ones most like me.
By this I mean, for instance, that they share with me a crazy tendency to believe they can do virtually anything they set their minds to (the adults tend to believe the opposite).
For instance, kids will often act with blind faith based on their beliefs. (Just like I do, to the initial annoyance – but later admiration – of many well intentioned realists I’m lucky to be sorrounded with)
Kids Are Open Minded & Impressionable
The above happens because kids are generally less conditioned by society, compared to adults.
Think about it for a moment and you’ll agree with me.
However, they also often believe more or less anything they are told by adults.
And that’s why it’s so important that we watch what we (as parents), or other adults (like teachers) say to them!
Don’t Force Your Child To Blend In!
Sadly, many adults who have kids often spend their time trying to mould their kids’ thinking and behaviour to conform to the expectations of the society they live in.
One way they do this is by repeatedly telling their child to avoid drawing attention to herself by thinking or acting too different from others.
I think that’s a big mistake that could hurt such kids’ chances of excelling later on in life.
When you make your child feel it’s wrong to be different from others, you effectively set her up to suffer emotional conflicts that will arise from having to resist following her natural instincts!
Over time, if the child remains exposed to this kind of treatment, she could grow up confused, and lacking in self-confidence.
Even worse, such a child could end up going through life without achieving her full potential, because some adults (e.g the parents), would have convinced her to be reasonable and not try to do the impossible by pursuing a dream or vision she conceives.
A Solution: My 80/20 Principle For Coaching Kids
Coaching comes quite naturally to me.I love helping willing others discover how to perpetually improve themselves to succeed better, the way I do.
If you want to help your kids excel in life, resolve today to help them nurture their self-belief EVERY day.
One tested and proven way to achieve this is by Implementing my adaptation of Pareto’s 80:20 rule in relating with your kids.
What this means, is that 80% of the time:
1. You’ll deliberately focus on telling them how unique their God given talents and abilities make them, and why they must aim to achieve their full potentials in life.
2. You’ll closely study each child, to identify her strengths and major natural interest. Then devote deliberate effort to help the child consciously develop that ability e.g by enrolling her in a vocational centre.
3. You’ll deliberately challenge your child to see mistakes she makes, setbacks she encounters (and any other forms of adversity that come her way as she chases her goal) as stepping stones to eventual success.
The above steps will enable you inculcate the right values in your children over time.
And when they become adults, they are likely to be well equipped to go through life achieving their set goals, without succumbing to pressures to be like others.