{"id":6917,"date":"2015-02-10T21:10:06","date_gmt":"2015-02-10T21:10:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/?p=6917"},"modified":"2015-02-10T21:10:06","modified_gmt":"2015-02-10T21:10:06","slug":"to-succeed-authentically-adopt-a-win-win-mentality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/to-succeed-authentically-adopt-a-win-win-mentality\/","title":{"rendered":"To Succeed Authentically, Adopt a Win-Win Mentality"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Some people - especially when they are big and (they think) you are smaller - believe they must always WIN while every other person they relate with loses. Typically, they feel YOU need them more than they need you. Their actions reflect this belief. What you are about to read is a true story. Names and job titles have been changed.<\/p>\n<p class=\"vk-wp-oembed-blog-card-url-template\">\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/ezinearticles.com\/?A-Win-Lose-Mentality-Will-Cost-You-More-Than-it-Gets-You!&id=1409716\">http:\/\/ezinearticles.com\/?A-Win-Lose-Mentality-Will-Cost-You-More-Than-it-Gets-You!&id=1409716<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n<h3What you are about to read is a true story. Names and job titles have been changed.<\/h3\n\nThis is one of those times when I feel it will be useful to let others in on some of the \"not-too-pretty\" stuff that goes on out here in the business world of my country.\n\nI know that some of my readers may not live\/work out here, and may probably not have experienced this first hand. Yet, I was glad to discover that a certain US based self-made millionaire entrepreneur publisher of a widely read newsletter IS aware that this problem exists on his side of the business world - as evidenced in his treatment of that subject in a recent issue.\n\n\n\n<h3>Here's the true story:<\/h3\n\nOver a recent three month period, Oyat Edabgalos - a Lagos based software developer - worked on three different custom software development projects that earned him what he considered \"profitable\" income. All three clients had expressed satisfaction with the work he did for them (In fact one of them referred him to the other, his aunt, who is a full-blooded Ghanaian).\n\nNow, during this three month period, Oyat was also involved in a protracted discussion\/negotiation with the GM - Sule Kasali - of a certain service company that is over 15 years old.\n\nInstead of purchasing a customisable product Oyat had built for a similar organisation in March this year, Sule had asked that he (Oyat) explore making the software do a variety of other things.\n\nWhen Oyat confirmed that what Sule wanted was possible, BUT that the price would be higher, this interesting gentleman told him he had actually been looking forward to having Oyat LOWER his fees beyond what he had initially offered the software when it was WITHOUT the added features requested!\n\nWhen Oyat told him THAT would not be possible (he did this with a BIG smile on his face), Sule then told him his Uncle was the GM of another nearby company, and he (the Uncle) would also buy the finished software. He even told Oyat re-assuringly \"I guarantee you he will buy\". Oyat told him he could not accept a guarantee being made on behalf of another person, as it would not be binding on that person, but Sule insisted he was sure the other GM would agree.\n\nDrawing from past experience, Oyat told him it would be better if both companies shared the now higher fee payment so they could get a joint discount - and pay 70% in advance. Sule agreed, and proceeded to have the accountant write me his own advance payment check. But just before they wrote the cheque, he asked that Oyat let him pay the advance as one round figure which amounted to 65%, so he could pay the rest on project completion.\n\nOyat agreed and started work that same morning. By the end of the 2nd day, he had delivered one of the intended four modules of the software and coached the accountant on how to use it. But he had not cashed his cheque. \n\n<h3This was to later turn out to be fortunate for him. Here's why: <\/h3\n\nTowards the end of the 2nd day, Oyat found himself AGAIN reminding Sule to ask his Uncle (the other company's GM) when he would pay his own \"GUARANTEED\" 70% advance. Sule replied that for some reason he had suddenly been unable to reach his Uncle on phone, saying \"maybe he's out of town\". Next thing Oyat knew, Sule had hurried off into the car to go home, promising to have his Uncle call him, while at the same time urging him to continue work.\n\nAt this point ALL the red lights in Oyat's head were ON and flashing madly. Incidentally he had started work for the other three clients mentioned at the start of this article - who were relatively younger\/smaller businesses - on trust without insisting on immediate advance payment(but getting it at the most, the very next day after he started) and had gotten good results.\n\nHe realised that the project for Sule's company was not going to be the same as those ones.\n\nSo, he packed up his stuff, and left their premises that day AFTER returning the advance payment cheque to the accountant - without, of course, trying to cash it or anything of the sort. He had learnt from Awiyum Narideda, five years before, that there are some projects\/clients that you must simply WALK AWAY FROM when it looks like the relationship is going to one-sided, with YOU being the loser.\n\nNext day, he did an email to Sule, advising that he would not continue work UNTIL the agreed full advance payment from both companies had been received. He went further to print\/send a paper version just to be sure Sule got it. 24 hours later Sule called him to say his Uncle (the same one he had \"GUARANTEED\" would pay) had BLUNTLY refused to agree to pay any advance UNTIL Oyat finished the job for Sule's company and he (the Uncle) confirmed it was functioning properly.\n\n<h3Oyat made a point of not saying \"I told you so\" to Sule.<\/h3\n\n(But he could not help wondering to himself if there had actually been any \"Uncle\" in the first place. What if, he thought, it had just been a ploy to him me to agree to the discounted fee, so that on completing the job, they would have simply told him the other person had pulled out, and he would have been forced to accept just the balance 30% from them? He of course had no means of verifying this.) \n\nHaving broken the \"bad news\" to him, Sule asked Oyat, \"So what do we do now?\". Oyat said he would come into Sule's office the next morning to discuss it.\n\nBut alas, the next morning he found himself having another protracted discussion on an already over flogged issue. Despite the fact that he had agreed to leave the fee at the discounted rate, and the fact that he had already delivered - without asking payment - a software module (worth 25% of the total fee) that was already installed for use, Sule kept him in his office for over an hour pressuring him to lower the fee AND accept a 50% advance instead of his standard 70% advance.\n\nAll of this - to Sule - was obviously not asking too much EVEN after he had bluntly refused to leave out any of the additional features he had requested Oyat incorporate into the software, so the price could come down.\n\nIn other words, he wanted all the bells and whistles, but did not feel they were worth paying more for. Or to put it more accurately: \"The Chairman would never agree to that\". He would often say this to virtually anything one said which he did not want to give in to. That way, you would be made to accept that you did not have a choice but to accept anything he offered you.\n\nUnfortunately for Sule, Oyat - in a previous life - had quit his job as a manager in a blue chip corporate multinational, to start his own business over seven years before, because (apart from the fact that he had always wanted to run his own business) he did not like anyone telling him he did not have a choice.\n\nOyat was a person who believed he always had a choice. He believed he had a right to decide WHAT he did, and for WHOM he did it and WHERE...and HOW! Anyone who tried to tell him otherwise, would have to be content with the sight of him WALKING AWAY never to return.\n\nThe next day Oyat sent Sule an email asking him to confirm his decision after consulting with his boss. Sule replied that he had not yet asked him (amazing!) and would get back to Oyat on it. He never did - and twenty four hours later, after leaving message after message for Sule to call him so he could decide on making commitments to other clients, Oyat emailed him advising that he was taking his non-response to mean \"NO\".\n\nThat was before 12 noon.\n\n<h3Now, THIS is the best part: <\/h3\n\nAt 5.30pm that same day, Oyat gets a phone call from the accountant at Sule's company and he (i.e the accountant, whose direct boss is the hitherto incommunicado Sule) asks Oyat to remind him of the password to login to the software module he had installed on his PC and taught him to use!!\n\nOyat found myself gasping for breath, in disbelief, for a few seconds, before managing to politely inform the accountant that since his company had not paid for the software (\"for heaven's sake\", Oyat thought, \"this is the same person I gave the cheque back to!\"), it would be wrong\/improper - indeed ILLEGAL (\"does ANYONE need to be told this kind of thing?\" he wondered) - for him or anyone else in the company to even TRY making use of it.\n\nBut the accountant was not done. He then asked : \"So what are you going to do now so I can use the software...?\". It is probably safe to assume you can imagine the rest of the very \"polite\" responses Oyat gave him...\n\n<h3Points To Take Away<\/h3\n\n1. Some people - especially when they are big and (they think) you are smaller - believe they must always WIN while every other person they relate with loses. Typically, they feel YOU need them more than they need you. Their actions reflect this belief. It is usually advisable to stay away from people who think\/act this way - and they are quite often not difficult to identify.\n\n2. If during those three months, Oyat had not \"broken off\" contact\/discussions with Sule (whenever he felt things were moving too slowly) to speak to other prospects who went on to engage him profitably, he would have ended up badly. In other words, it pays to MEASURE the \"readiness\" of the prospective client, and focus your attention\/decision making accordingly.\n\n3. Oyat has the habit of measuring his \"Cost Of Customer Acquisition (COCA)\", and has over the years found it ranges from as low as N500 to as much as N5,000($0.5 to $50) approx. In the case of Sule's company, he estimated that the process of \"trying to win\" this project cost him over $100 and he still ended up with nothing to show for it.\n\n<h3Summary<\/h3\n\nThis story is representative of what happens to many self-employed persons out here. Some have the means\/ability to SURVIVE these attempts to exploit them. Others do not.\n\nIt is a practice that is widespread, and many prospective clients will happily EXPLOIT you, no matter how religious they claim to be, if you give the slightest indication that you are NAIVE enough to make yourself open to such.\n\nThe following quote is one that I believe accurately captures how people should aim to relate with one another in ANY society:\n\n\"I have found no greater satisfaction than achieving success through honest dealing and strict adherence to the view that, for you to gain, those you deal with should gain as well.\" - Alan Greenspan\n\nI hope those of you who have read this can learn something useful from it, and act accordingly in the future.\n\nA little book titled \"Science Of Getting Rich\" describes this need to think\/act in this manner even better. Google that title and download\/read the book, then apply what you learn.\n\nNB: This article was first published online in August 2008.\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Some people - especially when they are big and (they think) you are smaller - believe they must always WIN while every other person they relate with loses. Typically, they feel YOU need them more than they need you. Their actions reflect this belief. What you are about to read is a true story. Names [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,1,266],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6917","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-entrepreneurs","category-general-2","category-my-dn-travel-news"],"aioseo_notices":[],"views":1010,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6917","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6917"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6917\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6918,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6917\/revisions\/6918"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6917"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6917"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6917"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}