{"id":6387,"date":"2014-10-17T10:16:52","date_gmt":"2014-10-17T10:16:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/?p=6387"},"modified":"2014-10-17T11:29:58","modified_gmt":"2014-10-17T11:29:58","slug":"the-company-you-keep-even-online-determines-the-quality-of-life-you-live-practical-ideas-you-can-use","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/the-company-you-keep-even-online-determines-the-quality-of-life-you-live-practical-ideas-you-can-use\/","title":{"rendered":"The Company You Keep (Even Online!) Determines The Quality of Life You Live (Practical Ideas You Can Use)"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have a relatively tiny Facebook friends list (<300). So one would imagine I\u2019d readily accept every friend request I get. Instead, accepting a friend request - for me (especially since I moved to Cotonou in April 2013<\/a>) - actually involves SCREENING people as if for employment\u2026those I subject to that process just NEVER know it\u2026LOL!<\/p>\n

But seriously - you will NOT believe the lengths I go to check - and DOUBLE check them, and their backgrouds - in every way possible.<\/em><\/p>\n

I do this ONLINE (and even OFFLINE), going as far as reaching out to friends of friends to the person who added me as a friend.<\/p>\n

I rigorously screen friend requests as above, because I want GOOD QUALITY people, who can ADD VALUE to me as \"friends\"...<\/strong><\/h3>\n

I want that because I WORK HARD to be that kind of friend to others - both on and off the web.<\/em><\/p>\n

The above is why I also periodically WEED my friends list.<\/p>\n

For instance, I've had funny \"conversation\" attempts by some friends I made about 2 years ago...<\/p>\n

Some send messages like \"Sup...!\" and \"T-boy...!\" - without saying much else. <\/strong><\/h3>\n

And then, if in a bid to be polite (thinking maybe the connection cut off the full message), I respond with a \u201cHi\u2026can I help you?\u201d\u2026 they follow up with some silly link etc...argh!<\/p>\n

Look I don't know about others out here on the web, but I want to be PRODUCTIVE, and I need to be connected with people who can help me do that. <\/strong><\/h3>\n

If achieving the above means I'll end up with a micro-sized friends list, SO BE IT!<\/em><\/p>\n

I'd rather have top quality interactions with 5 clued up friends several days in a YEAR, than endure mind numbing relations with 5,000 \"air heads\" every day!<\/p>\n

NB:<\/em><\/strong> It goes without saying that I am comfortable with having the same rules applied to me by those who have ME on THEIR friends list. <\/em><\/p>\n

But why am I making a case based on Facebook in particular, you wonder?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Actually, I\u2019m only using Facebook as a point of reference.<\/p>\n

Generally, my message is directed at all people as they relate with one another online or offline.<\/p>\n

However, we all know that a vast majority of today\u2019s population across the world go through daily life glued to their PC and Internet related tools and resources.<\/p>\n

Most of them use Facebook \u2013 which now has users across the billon mark. <\/em><\/p>\n

But they also use several other platforms. <\/strong><\/p>\n

On their phones they are constantly messaging one another via \"Whatsapp\", \"Messenger\" etc. <\/em><\/p>\n

In essence, so much talking is happening today and a lot of it is in small chunks of often severely abbreviated words.<\/p>\n

I once read somewhere that we now have some people who think and speak in \u201cTweets\u201d<\/span><\/em>, and I agree!<\/h3>\n

My observations indicate that some of them are even journalists, whose spelling skills now \u201csuck\u201d as a result \u2013 thereby punishing readers!<\/em><\/p>\n

The situation is so bad now, that those who feel what should be a normal<\/span><\/strong> \u201cneed\u201d to think, speak and write words normally, struggle to \u201cget through\u201d to such \u201cTweet\u201d brained persons.<\/p>\n

The latter\u2019s minds can often not hold a train of thought beyond the volume allowed for Tweeting.<\/em><\/p>\n

I exaggerate not: <\/strong>There ARE adults and young people like that out there today!<\/p>\n

And they are in such numbers that those who are NOT like them appear to be the ones who are NOT normal.<\/em><\/p>\n

Ultimately, this is why the quality of thinking and social interaction today is deteriorating.<\/p>\n

To protect myself from the decay, I choose to filter out people who are THAT shallow from getting too close in my social space.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

In this article, I\u2019m asking you to do the same thing too - for your own good.<\/em><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong. I don\u2019t condemn or reject them. And I\u2019m NOT asking you to either!<\/p>\n

For those I perceive to be willing to be coached and influenced to IMPROVE themselves, I make the effort to stay connected.<\/p>\n

But if after a while I get the impression I\u2019m \"pouring water in a basket\" (i.e wasting my time\/efort or \"Mo nda omi si akpere\" - as the Yorubas would say), I generally avoid them.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The truth is that it is unwise to try and save the world, if those in it are NOT interested. <\/em><\/p>\n

Make it clear that you are available, to any persons who are willing to be helped. If anyone comes, do what you can.<\/p>\n

Otherwise, keep your peace. You have enough to occupy you in pursuit of your own self-improvement and ultimate self-actualization.<\/p>\n

Final Words: <\/strong>My message in this piece is for both adults and their kids. <\/em><\/h3>\n

To achieve your goals in life, especially in a way that adds value to others and the society, you will sometimes<\/span><\/em><\/strong> need to be ruthless in the way your choose those you spend your time with.<\/p>\n

Not just in person, but also on the web.<\/p>\n

Those you give your conscious attention to (e.g. online) determine the THOUGHTS you nurture. <\/em><\/p>\n

If they are \"no-good\" people (and you know what I mean by that I\u2019m sure!) then you are going to end up with MORE \"no-good\" (aka useless) thoughts that you need.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

By implication, you will be wasting your valuable, and non-recoverable, time!<\/p>\n

Life is just too short to spend it with people UNWILLING to add value to YOU or society. <\/em><\/p>\n

Challenge them to step up, and if they don't seriously consider WALKING AWAY!<\/p>\n

Like we say in Africa: <\/strong>A word is enough for the wise!<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have a relatively tiny Facebook friends list (<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,8,1,266,814,87,112,10,103],"tags":[1300,1288,1299],"class_list":["post-6387","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-employeescareer-persons","category-entrepreneurs","category-general-2","category-my-dn-travel-news","category-my-ideas-for-making-nigeria-better","category-parenting","category-public-speaking","category-self-development","category-writingblogging","tag-experience-based-tips-you-can-use","tag-practical-ideas-you-can-use","tag-the-company-you-keep-even-online-determines-the-quality-of-life-you-live"],"aioseo_notices":[],"views":1014,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6387","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6387"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6387\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6389,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6387\/revisions\/6389"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6387"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6387"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6387"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}