{"id":4257,"date":"2014-04-15T18:33:44","date_gmt":"2014-04-15T18:33:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/spontaneousdevelopment.com\/sdnuggets\/?p=4257"},"modified":"2014-04-15T18:33:44","modified_gmt":"2014-04-15T18:33:44","slug":"can-lack-of-money-stop-your-marriage-succeeding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/can-lack-of-money-stop-your-marriage-succeeding\/","title":{"rendered":"Can Lack Of Money Stop Your Marriage Succeeding?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Drawing from my experiences initially <\/strong>as an employee, and later as an entrepreneur, I describe the psychological challenge that confronts a person who runs out of money, while married - and doing business. I then offer practical for surviving such periods of financial adversity, without losing dignity. <\/p>\n

Do you have a spouse? <\/strong><\/h3>\n

If yes, do you think you him\/her very well - intimately? <\/p>\n

Would you boldly say you know what your spouse will or will not SAY or DO to YOU, regardless of how bad things get - especially financially? <\/em><\/p>\n

For many couples, the correct answers to those questions would be difficult to predict. That\u2019s the truth.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

In certain societies, when people court each other towards getting married, one of the prime considerations is often the \u201cnet worth\u201d (if you can call it that) of the other person. <\/em><\/p>\n

Your friends, relatives, colleagues etc want to know \u201cIf s\/he has a job; Where? Does s\/he get good pay?\u201d etc. If they like what they hear, they then congratulate you. <\/p>\n

Very few will ask you if you love each other. <\/p>\n

If you\u2019re the type that needs others to \u201capprove\u201d of you, you might \u201cfind\u201d a way to choose someone that would be \u201cacceptable\u201d to those whose approval you seek.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

The sad result is sometimes that two fundamentally incompatible, but outwardly well-matched people tie the knot, and embark on what becomes a turbulent marital adventure. <\/p>\n

I have worked closely with someone who frequently stayed out late, after work, just so as to get home when his spouse had gone to bed. <\/p>\n

There were in fact situations where extended family members repeatedly had to intervene in squabbles between this husband and wife.<\/p>\n

One thing that often tends to be at the root of this problem - whether the couples readily admit it or not - is MONEY. <\/strong><\/h3>\n

I won\u2019t bore you with any stories or details. <\/p>\n

But if you think you know your spouse (or \u201cfianc\u00e9\/fianc\u00e9e), especially where it has to do with money and its ready availability, I'd say...don't be too sure! <\/em><\/p>\n

My advice is that you try and get to see your partner at his\/her worst, in relation to \u201clack of money\u201d as soon as possible BEFORE you start the venture you intend.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This will prepare you for the worst. <\/em><\/p>\n

Some people KNOW that their spouse\u2019s \u201clove\u201d for them is directly correlated with the \u201cready\u201d availability of money. <\/strong><\/h3>\n

This knowledge is what keeps them from taking the \u201crisk\u201d of starting their businesses - much as they would have loved to. <\/p>\n

It could be suicidal if you decide to go ahead without \u201ctesting\u201d, and making sure about this for yourself. Assuming s\/he will \u201cunderstand\u201d if things are difficult initially would not be a smart thing to do.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

The books may not say this often, but many marriages have disintegrated during the tough start-up phases that a spouse\u2019s new business had to go through. <\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

The other person would have tried to share in the vision\/endure the \u201csuffering\u201d. But somewhere along the line, s\/he probably could not hold faith any longer. <\/p>\n

So, the \u201cfights\u201d begin - the \u201ctired\u201d partner saying nasty things to his\/her already embattled entrepreneur spouse - and they eventually separate. <\/p>\n

When you read the autobiographies of some successful entrepreneurs, you\u2019ll find that they never mention their spouses at any point all through the book. <\/em><\/p>\n

The problem described above is probably the reason why\u2026<\/p>\n

So, I ask you again. Do you KNOW your spouse well? <\/strong><\/h3>\n

Do you KNOW what s\/he will or will not do should things get really tough in the process of starting-up your business? Remember that when difficulties arise, you will need all the support and encouragement you can get. <\/p>\n

Be sure that the closest person to you is the type that will actually give you that.<\/em><\/p>\n

The last thing you want, when you\u2019re trying to keep an upbeat mental state, is someone telling you how stupid you were to have made this or that mistake. <\/p>\n

Or reminding you of how the family could have been better off, if you hadn\u2019t insisted on plunging all your savings\/benefits into your \u201chair-brained\u201d idea for a venture.<\/strong><\/p>\n

My purpose here, is to help you eliminate \u201cgrey areas\u201d in your thinking about where problems will likely come from, when you start your business. <\/h3>\n

Oh, and by the way, if you also have kids, PLEASE make sure you set aside adequate funds to cater for them, all through the start-up phase.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you cannot do this, then seriously consider waiting till you can. Do not jeopardize the security of your family.\u00a0<\/p>\n

A lot of worrying issues that you never anticipated might just come from the home front. <\/p>\n

Believe me when I say I KNOW what this feels like. I have experienced SEVERELY prolonged periods of heartbreaking lack of money. <\/p>\n

What I went through during those tough years of struggling as an entrepreneur, really tested my marriage relationship to its limits. <\/em><\/p>\n

The fact that my wife and I are still together today, in spite of those experiences, makes it possible for me to write this piece!<\/strong> <\/strong><\/h3>\n

You would be wise to get yourself well and truly forearmed. <\/p>\n

Lastly, what about YOU? Will YOU be the problem in YOUR home when you have no money?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

NB:<\/strong> This article was first published online in 2006, and is one of twenty-five(25) contained in Tayo Solagbade\u2019s Ebook titled \"25 Articles\/True Stories On Self-Development, Entrepeneuring & Web Marketing To Help You Succeed More Often<\/a><\/strong>\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Drawing from my experiences initially as an employee, and later as an entrepreneur, I describe the psychological challenge that confronts a person who runs out of money, while married - and doing business. I then offer practical for surviving such periods of financial adversity, without losing dignity. Do you have a spouse? If yes, do […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,133,814,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-entrepreneurs","category-farm-biz","category-my-ideas-for-making-nigeria-better","category-self-development"],"aioseo_notices":[],"views":1875,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4257"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4257\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4258,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4257\/revisions\/4258"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}